


Dogs & Girls & Ghouls (Oh my!)

by Somanoko



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Mature is mostly just because of things like Cannibalism and violence stuffz, More tags to be added, OC is a an awkward turtle, Oc's with dogs!!!!, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, who knows about the future
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:41:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 38
Words: 227,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22877230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Somanoko/pseuds/Somanoko
Summary: A rich girl moves to get away from her family and ends up living just a block away from Hysy ArtMask Studio. The 4th ward isn't exactly a safe place for a lone girl to be living. Thankfully she has a very large and seriously protective dog to watch her back. Curiosity brings our awkward and hilariously sheltered heroine to meet Uta. Clueless of any danger Aika has to wonder why her dog has always dragging her past the little shop or why he dosn't seem to like the man she's just met.
Relationships: Uta (Tokyo Ghoul)/Original Female Character(s), Uta (Tokyo Ghoul)/Reader
Comments: 436
Kudos: 632





	1. Chapter 1: Hysy ArtMask Studio

**Author's Note:**

> My brain can't decide what to write; but write I do.  
> Thank you for stopping to read this. I normally write in 3rd person - but I wanted to try to write like this. I think overall this somehow this turned out better from this particular point of view. (that being said there's probably a few mistakes!)
> 
> Hope you enjoy. There SHOULD be more to follow!~  
> Please leave a comment if you liked it! I'd love to hear from people! (and please point out my mistakes!)
> 
> Bjorn looks kinda like : https://i.pinimg.com/originals/85/60/36/856036540392ed77484c047a01f8f91e.jpg

"Okaaaaay! Thank you for coming!" I waved and smiled and waved and smiled until my cheeks hurt and my head pounded. Even on bad days I had to keep this up. Even when I had a splitting headache. Even when all I wanted to do was take the little set of 'safety' scissors on my little counter and stab one of the 'Karens' that came to my checkout with their attitudes and snarky remarks. Or the men who came in and made lewd remarks about how they wanted to rent some R rated videos that we kept in the back and would ask me if there were any featuring me. Gross. Out of the corner of my eye I could see the manager sticking his fat ugly head out of the backroom to make sure his employees were acting their sweetest.

He kept me late at work most nights. Not like the girls who played along with his little flirting games. They flirt back and let him touch their shoulders as they worked. They got special treatment and I got extra work. I always did my best to get out before dark. That's when the Tokyo wards got really dangerous. That's when a lot of ghouls would hunt.  
Not that he cared.

"Your 9-5 job will replace you in 7-10 business days" I'd heard that somewhere once. God was that true. If Mr. Fuji didn't have a list of waiting applications then she was a millionaire.

"Have a goodnight!!!" I called out cheerfully to another group of customers as they left the building. The last of the night and finally freedom was in sight. All that needed to be done now was a quick sweeping up of the floor and wipe down of the counter.

"Bye Mr. Fuji. I'll see you Monday?"

I didn't wait for a reply. Instead I bolted out the door and towards home before the creep could try and get me to stay later; and alone with him. I stopped my fast pace retreat when I was a few blocks away. Too far away for the overweight manager to come barreling after me.  
I lived and worked in the 4th ward. A terrible shithole honestly but it was my shithole apartment and it was my shithole home.

After leaving my parents home in some act of rebellion I didn't have many places to go. I'd had everything handed to me. I'll admit it. I'd grown up safe and secure in what I had. But it's a gilded bird cage. Made to look pretty but nothing I did was ever because of something I'd decided for myself.  
My clothes, my friends, my hair, my hobbies? All those chosen for me.

And the last straw?

I'd brought home this dog. A stray. Just a small puppy at the time. Some mutt of unknown origins. My fancy, preppy stuck up parents had not been happy. No, instead I'd gotten screamed at about how immature I was being. Bringing a "filthy" animal into the house.  
They had tried their best to separate us and offered bribes of getting a pure bred dog rather than this mutt. But I loved Bjorn! 

Dodging thrown Bottles from my elderly, angry and very drunk neighbor I walked into the hallway that leads to my apartment. I could already hear my giant lumbering around in the small apartment when he heard me coming home. The doors lock was broken, but honestly it was fine. Unless you knew the trick the door wouldn't open anyway. This was the best place I could find for cheap. At night I slid the dresser in front of the door just to be safe. It could keep a human out. If a ghoul came though - I figure I'm fucked either way. There's no way that door is holding back anything like that. Heck; the walls might be thin enough to punch through.  
I lifted and shoved the door into the frame before the door moved out of my way.

The small stray I'd taken in over three years ago had become a huge bear sized dog. He stood nearly to my shoulder. Although I was uncertain about his breed mix I had guessed that in there was some great Pyrenees and maybe some Samoyed mixed in. Whatever it had been; he was a giant fluffy ball of white fur and unconstrained love. He often grew fur so thick that it had to be cut away from his eyes for him to see and he needed to be groomed every day. But at the end of the day I loved my time sitting sprawled out on the floor and running a brush over him.  
"Hello there big guy!!!" I cooed at my dog in a way I had never cooed at anything in my entire life. In a way people would talk to their kids rather than an animal that looked like it could eat me.  
He knew not to jump, he'd knocked me over so many times simply on accident and had eventually learned that play time ended when Mom got knocked on her ass.

"Good boy, lemmi' get you something to eat!"

Living in the 4th ward was by all means not safe. However it did mean was I could afford a place to live and keep my dog. It meant that we could both afford to get food every day and not just sometimes. Bjorn kept away any human trash and was pretty good at warning me of danger from ghouls. One day I had saved Bjorn, and now I was convinced he had saved me multiple times over.

He would sometimes drag me away from certain area of the ward or growl low in his throat at dark corners. Other people were afraid of him but I love him dearly; I felt the love was mutual.

I watched as my pup chowed down on his meal and the looked up at me; maw still sloppy wet. "Silly boy. Let's get your face clean." I reached and grabbed a rag. He knew what the rag meant and trotted over to me his giant head resting in my lap as I ruffled the rag around his head til it was dry and clean again.

"How about a walk?"

Saying walk always got him to thunder off and grab his leash and bring it back.

People outside were always so nervous around him. Maybe it had something to do with his size or maybe it was because the leash that was attached to him was laid gently over his back. Totally uncontrolled by me. As if holding onto the leash could really stop the bear-dog from bolting off even if I wanted to.

But Bjorn would stay by my side faithfully. He would sit outside stores and wait for me. And he would scare off creeps who followed me.

Down the street from my house I would see a sign for Hysy ArtMask Studio and look at it curiously from time to time. Bjorn had no interest in stopping; he just would keep going or even grab a sleeve and tug me towards home.

❤️🐕🦺

On weekends I grew restless and unwilling to stay still and do nothing. Old friends were out of the question. They had been fake, paid for or just in for themselves when my parents had picked them out. I had no choice but to make my weekends fun on my own. Bjorn stared at me today as I said "walk" but didn't rush after his leash. I had just brought him out on a rather long hike around the ward…  
Who could blame him for wanting a break from protecting me?

"Okay buddy. If you need a break I don't mind. I'll just go see what that mask studio is then! It's right down the road. No harm." There was just 100 yards at most from my home to the art studio- just how much trouble can 100 yards get me?

Bjorn looked up at me with sad eyes and whined. As if he knew something was going to go wrong.  
"I'll be back. Stay quiet."

I made my way towards the studio at a hurried pace. Bjorn sat at home while I worked; but the dog had a thing about me being gone for too long when I'm not suppose to be. I swear that dog knows my schedule better than me sometimes. It was such a weird coincidence that I'd lived here for nearly three years without stopping a single time to check it out. Sketching and drawing had been a hobby that my parents had found for me - but I had genuinely enjoyed it for a time. After they pushed and bothered me to do it more and more I'd quit. There was nothing quite like pushy parents to ruin something you enjoyed. But I'd never stopped. Bjorn always wanted to get home by the time I'd remembered it was here, and I didn't think the owner would want a giant dog inside. Even if he was a sweet well behaved pup.

A little set of stairs let to an underground hallway under the street to a door with just a doormat. 'Hysy ArtMask Studio'. A fairly nondescript place to have a studio business, but then this ward was full of nondescript places. I pushed open the door and stood blinking as my eyes adjusted to the dim light.  
"Hello, welcome."

I looked around looking for the owner of the soft-spoken voice and finally spotted a man who looked no older than me. Tattoo'd sleeves and knuckles all the way to his fingers. Then on his neck in a language that I thought looked more like art than letters there was a tattoo that wrapped all the way around. Below on his chest another tattoo peeked out over the edge of a low riding shirt. His style looked relaxed and really comfortable. My parents would have hated it; so obviously I loved it. Even in the dim light I could see that he wore dark sunglasses. I really had to wonder what that was for. Even if it was part of his style, it was hard enough seeing in the dim light alone.

"H-hello. I suppose I should have looked before entering but are you open on the weekends?" I felt my face grow a little hot as I realized he probably saw me give him the up and down look over. I hadn't even considered lately what I looked like. My once neatly cut hair had become a wild tangle and my style of tailored clothing that had once been chosen for me had devolved into flip flops, capri pants and baggy hoodies. Again; my parents would have hated it. I- on the other hand, was quite comfortable.

"Of course. Come in. Feel free to look around. If you don't see something you like I can make one specially for you." I turned my head to look around to see that it was in fact a mask studio. Masks lined the walls and the shelves that bordered the room. In neat little lines where were stands holding masks on each. "Was there anything special you were looking for? An event maybe?" I shook my head gently and smiled to myself. "Did you make all these by hand? They are amazing." I felt afraid to touch them so I just leaned in close when I wanted to see the details up close. "Honestly I got curious what this place was exactly. I pass by the front of your studio every day and but I never stopped..."

I was immediately drawn to some of the more creepy masks with twisted or 'melted' skulls with twisted proportions or horns of an oni demons. I preferred them over the cutesy ones or the generic types of popular masks in Japan. Someone could walk through here for hours looking over the smallest details on them. More than a mask they were each an art peice that all looked somehow functionable. Heavy duty art; more than just being art they were meant to be worn.

"You work in the ward?" I heard the mask man asked in the same soft spoken voice. "Yeah. I live here too." Was that too much information to be giving away right away? I glance over my shoulder to see the man was still seated and sketching something on his book. His expression on his face didn't give anything away; in fact he looked almost outright bored. I went back to looking at the masks and then at their prices. If I budgeted this month and maybe worked an overtime shift I could probably swing it. I might be stuck with ramen a few nights though. "You said you could make masks by order?" I walked closer and smiled trying to be friendly. "If you're not too busy? I don’t really need it for anything specific. But I don't think I could leave without having one made. They are really amazing. There's so many small details in them. They are like a face and a story.." 

"Thank you." I flushed as he seemed to take a moment to consider me. Although I still couldn't see his eyes I could feel them boring into me before he spoke up again. "I would be happy to make you one. I'll need to measure your head and face to make sure it's fitted specifically for you." He stood from his stool and moved to grab another sketchbook from what he’d been working in and pulled a measuring tape from a pocket. “Sit there please.” He pointed out a stool at the center of the room. I complied and sat down. There was a strange hair raising feeling when I could feel him behind me. I had to fight down the sudden instinct to turn and look or run. My heart rate jumped up a few beats before I calmed down and relaxed. This was just like the hairdresser. I never liked it when someone stood behind me where I couldn't see! It was nothing.  
“So. What are some things you like?” The calm, soothing voice spoke up from right behind my left ear almost making me jump. “The better I know someone the better their mask usually turns out.” He explained it to me and I kind of stalled. Rich girl comes from a good family with money and decides to live in the 4th ward far away to lose herself from their grip. How could I even begin to explain? “Oh. That’s...not really an easy question actually. It’s kind of complicated.” I paused and tried to think past the things that had been forced upon me until I decided I hated them. Before they’d made me hate them. “I liked sketching a little bit when I was younger. I wasn’t any good at painting or finishing a project though. I enjoyed fencing with my uncle too. He never made fun of me for being unlady like. He even brought me to the country side for hunting and fishing a couple times...”

“Where did you live before the 4th ward?” I blinked and turned my head slightly; confused by the question. “How do you know I didn’t grow up here?” He was silent for a minute while he continued to measure my head. Once in a while I could feel his fingers press lightly to hold the tape in place and then the scribble of pencil on paper as he wrote something. “Not many people from the 4th ward got to grow up learning how to fence and leave the city on hunting trips.” He finally answered me; his voice just as soft spoken as before.  
“Oh...I suppose not.” I lowered my head slightly and exhaled. I’d kind of accidentally let that slip. Was I spoiled as a child? I got to do all sorts of things that even now I didn’t appreciate because they all came with strings. “I grew up in the 5th ward. A small skip away I suppose, but a whole different world entirely. There's a lot of CCG officers living in that area. So...people feel pretty secure.”  
“Hum. It’s pretty nice up there isn’t it? Why’d you come to a dump like this? It’s pretty dangerous with the ghouls.”  
“I suppose if you like that sort of thing.” I kept my eyes on the floor feeling awkward. “My family and I don’t really see eye to eye. So- where better to go but someplace they wouldn’t be caught dead in? Plus. I left on bad terms. So I’m cut off.” I exhaled and shook my head accidentally bumping the measuring tool he’d been using. “Whoops sorry...Anyway: I had to start somewhere. Get a job. Start looking out for myself. It’s...really nice being self sufficient and free finally. It was like…”

I paused and tried to think of a good way to explain. What could anybody identify with no matter their background?  
“It was like being starved for air...”

“Hey. I forgot to ask your name! I’m Aika!” I spun and asked suddenly when I heard no reply from the soft spoken man. He paused midway through a sketch he seemed to be drawing of a face. It was mine I realized a moment later. “Oh. I’m sorry. I am Uta. I own this shop.”

“It’s nice to meet you! I’m sorry: You asked for just some details on what I liked and I spilled a bunch of nonsense at you. I apologize.” I looked up when he spoke again. “No. That’s just fine. As I said. The more I know you the better it will turn out. Are you allergic to anything? Rubbers or metals okay? Or do you prefer a wood or clay mask? Full or half mask?” He seemed to be peering up at my face.

“My skin reacts badly to nickel. Stainless steel or pure iron is generally okay.” I pause and now thinking of materials I grin and spout out something that probably sounds like a freaking serial killer talk. “Is it possible to get a mask partially done in bone?”  
Right on queue I watch as his eyebrows raise just a little bit. It’s honestly the most expression I’ve seen out of him the entire time I’ve spoken with him. “Who’s bone?”

“N-not who! Nonono! From an animal! N-not a p-person!” I tried to explain quickly so he didn’t get the wrong idea. “I liked your creepier masks and really would love if it was made partly in bone? I...I’m sorry that sounded kind of ‘serial killery’!” Laughing awkwardly I held my hands up defensively. “As I said I went hunting. I kind of...like collecting the skulls of the animals for display. So I have a few you could use as material if you could incorporate them.” I felt my face burning and knew it must be bright pink by this point. “That sounds almost worse doesn't it?”

“No. I suppose I didn’t expect such a cute girl asking for such a creepy mask. It defies my expectations. I like the idea. I’ll need to see what skulls you have though to choose one that will work. Can you bring them by sometime?” I think I choked as this man called me cute. But my mouth kept running on without me. “Yeah! Sure. I could go get them now? How long are you open?” He thinks I’m cute? Bitch where?

“I’m open until 8pm. So you’ve got a few hours. As long as you don’t mind running back home.” He tilted his head again in that curious way and I realized quite suddenly why I liked it so much. My dog fucking did that! Without meaning to, I laughed softly. He looked confused but I shook my head. “It’s no problem. I’ll have to see if Bjorn will sit outside. He’ll go nuts if I leave the house over and over. Is that okay?”

“Bjorn?”

“My dog. If I run in and out of my house he’ll go nuts. He’s normally pretty good about waiting for me outside a shop if I bring him. I just hope he won’t scare anybody away.”

“You have a scary dog?” I pause at the question. “Well...no. He’s not really all that scary. But people seem afraid of him anyway.” I stood and smiled. “Anyway - I’ll be right back with the skulls. Maybe 5 minutes?”

“I’ll be here.” Uta said as I waved and practically ran out the front door towards home. A smile on my face the whole time. Who’d have thunk it? It was so close and I’d never even visited the wonderful shop. Right under my nose! When I entered my apartment Bjorn rushed over and began his normal snuggles before stopping and sniffing more diligently at me. He was being very insistent about it; almost knocking me over with his prodding. “Quit it. What’s gotten into you? Are you jealous huh? Don’t like any other boys near me? Hummmm. You know you're my boi!!! Yes you are! Come on. We’re gonna visit that shop. It’s such a cool shop buddy.”

I swapped my flip flops for a set of skate shoes. When I tapped the heel on the ground roller skates popped out and let me roll around. I turned my attention to my skull pile. Literally a skull pile. This was probably not a good thing to tell strangers. It didn’t help that each time I looked at it or added to it I couldn’t help but say “Blood for the Blood God! Skulls for the Skull throne!” Picking out appropriately sized skulls I found three. A large wolf, a stag and what had been a large cougar. Each was remarkably intact.

“Okay Bjorn. You need to stop that sniffing. Lets go.” Holding his leash in one hand and the skulls balanced in the other I tapped my heels and popped out the skates and pointed the way. Bjorn knew this game. He mouthed the leash and began tugging as I skated along behind. Partly being pulled and partly pushing myself forward until I ordered “Bjorn. Stop.” He diligently let go of the leash and stopped. 

“Good boy. Okay now stay here. Don’t be scary to anybody. Okay?” I patted his head with my free hand and started down the stairs towards the shop when I was stopped by a warm wet feeling around my wrist. The jaws of my precious Bjorn were wrapped around my wrist in such a gentle hold with his eyes looking up at me with such a pleading look. Someone else might get concerned that ‘oh my god that dog is biting her’ but I knew my dog. His mouth may easily engulf my arm, hell he could probably fit my entire head in his mouth but he was gentle. And sweet. “Bjorn? Let go buddy. I’ll be right back?” He did let go; but I could see the reluctance to do so. 

“Stay.” I told my dog and turned to go again.  
I continued on my way into Uta’s shop a little perturbed by my dogs behavior.


	2. Chapter 2: Donuts & Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We continue our story, Aika goes to get her some of her skull collection for her mask and brings along a friend!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mobile post!!!

“Uta!?” I turned around in a full circle and didn’t spot the mask maker at all. I found this odd - wouldn’t he be expecting me? Further back in the shop I heard a soft click and then footsteps before the shopkeeper reappeared. “I apologize. I didn’t realize you meant exactly five minutes. You must live close by to be back that quickly. I thought I could get a bite of lunch before you got back.”

“ I’m sorry! You can eat lunch if you're hungry! I didn’t mean to interrupt.” I notice Uta smile faintly and shake his head. “I’m fine. Thank you. I’ll grab something later. So you live close?”

“Right down the road. I skated back with my dog. He’s outside.” I set down the three skulls I’d brought in. “ There’s a wolf, a stag and a cougars skull. I had others but I can only carry so many and some were obviously too small. These were the most in tact.” I smiled as Uta picked up each skull and ran his fingers over the material and nodded. “I should be able to use these. Did you have a preference?” I looked from each skull and nodded. “I’d prefer if the wolf or stag skull was used. Any extra bone or skulls you have can have as material if you want. I have plenty of skulls left…” I pause and flush red realizing what I’d just said. “N-not that I have that many skulls! I just…Don’t really need them. It would make me happy if you could use them in some of the masks you make.”

Before any more stupid excuses could spout from my mouth I turned sharply and looked towards the stores exit sharply when I heard a howl. Squinting I waited to see if he was going to continue. It was soon followed by another long mournful cry as my dog called for me. “I...I’m sorry Uta. That must be my dog. He doesn't normally act like this. I’ll be right back. I’ve gotta go see what’s wrong…”

Walking quickly I noticed that Uta actually following slowly as I headed out the front door. He stood leaning against the frame of his front door and watched while I ran up to Bjorn who turned and looked up at me with such a happy look. He looked relieved to see me in one piece. “What the heck has gotten into you?” I asked the giant dog while rubbing his head in some fierce cuddles. “I need you to stay quiet and good. Don’t scare people. I didn’t I tell you?”

“That’s your dog?” I heard from the doorway. Bjorns head turned and I watched his whole body tense. I lept for the leash and pulled with all my strength as the huge mountain of dog moved with pure muscle towards the store owner. “Bjorn NO!” I ordered with a hard tone I rarely used with him. He stopped his forward motion but did not stop his growling as the man. “Uta I’m so sorry. He never ever does this!!!” “Bjorn. Quiet. Down.” I waited to make sure the dog did as I said before I moved around him to be between Uta and my much beloved dog. “What’s gotten into you?” I asked placing my hands on either side of his huge muzzle.The dog, though laying on the ground his head between his paws still stared at the man behind me. Every once in awhile I could still hear a low growl coming from him.

“He doesn't normally do this?”

I shook my head and looked down at my lovely pet with concern. Should I take him to the vet? “He only acts like this sometimes when I’m walking home and he thinks he sees something or someone’s giving me problems. He normally scares off people before they get close.” I gently pet his head. “I’m so sorry. I really thought he’d like you…”

I heard footsteps lightly behind me and Bjorn tense under my hands. “If it will keep him quiet he can lay down inside near the door. I need to measure the skulls compared to your face. Having you here while I do that will be helpful.” He turned and walked back towards his front door and ushered us both inside. “Are you happy Bear-bear. You get what you want you little brat.” I carefully booped his noise and stood. I grabbed his leash and made sure to pull it close to make sure he didn’t leap at Uta with his back turned. 

Inside again I told Bjorn to sit and stay. He was reluctant and needed to be told and re-told a few times but he stayed still and quiet just watching intently as Uta fit the skulls to my face. He seemed at least appeased now that he could actually see me. No more howling to annoy the neighborhood or scare away customers. He almost growled out again when Uta gently touched my face while fitting only to stop when I sent him an eye squinting look of annoyance. 

I paid Uta and apologised again for the issues my dog had caused today.  
“Can I get your address to ship this too?” Uta asked gently. I could see sometimes he still would look over at Bjorn. I assumed he was nervous around the giant apparently aggressive dog. “I can come pick it up if you send me a message? Here’s my phone number.” I scribbled my cell phone number on a piece of paper and handed it over. “I won’t bring Bjorn. I'm so sorry again!”

“It’s fine. Maybe he’ll get used to me.”

I stared for a few moments. That sure sounded like he wouldn’t mind seeing me, or my dog again. Despite the rocky start with Bjorn; I couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah...maybe. Thank you again Uta. If it’s okay I’d like to see some things you're working on? Maybe stop by…?”

He nodded. “Anytime the store is open. I’ll send you a text when you can pick up your mask. We can do a final fitting then.” 

“Okay! Go get your lunch Uta!~ I didn’t mean to starve you by keeping your attention for so long!”

I waved and retrieved my dog, pulling the dog with me out the door. “You!” I booped his nose again. “Were such a pain today! What’s with you? Are you that jealous? Maybe I need to socialize more so you get used to other people?” I clicked my heels and we both skated towards home. Bjorn seemed especially happy to be tugging me towards our little haven.

♥

It had been two days since my visit to Uta’s studio and I hadn’t heard a peep from the man. Not that I expected to for quite some time. Who knows how many masks he had to work on . Plus I had told him I didn’t need it for any event so it was hardly urgent. I was just excited to see it.

After work I got out and stopped at a coffee shop on the way home. I glanced at my watch and then at the sky. Plenty of time before the sun went down right? I grabbed two coffees and a little box of jelly donuts. Instead of going home from there I headed towards Hysy ArtMask Studio and knocked on the door before entering. The door clicked open and it was before 8pm; so I felt like I was in the clear. “Uta?”

I looked around and spotted the artist on a stool sketching away on a large pad. He looked up and put his pencils down. “Hello Ms. Aika. How can I help you?”

“Just Aika is fine Uta. Unless you want me to call you Mr. Uta.” I chuckled and grinned and then set the second coffee and a few packs of sugar beside it. “I wasn’t sure how you’d like a coffee. But I wanted to thank you for dealing with my idiot dog the other day. You handled having a 150 pound dog wanting to maul you really well...also there’s these for you.”  
I placed the jelly donuts on his counter and smiled. There was a small moment I thought that the man might actually be frowning down at the donuts. It had me worried; did I get something wrong? Over step some boundary?

But he picked up the coffee and sipped it without adding any sugar. Apparently he liked it black.  
“Thank you Aika. That’s very kind of you.”

There was half a moment where the conversation hitched and I felt awkward standing there but it passed as he added. “I haven't started your mask. I’ve had quite a lot of orders recently. But would you like to see some of the masks I’m currently working on?”

“Yes! I’d love to see what you’re working on!” I was amazed how time flew by. Both our coffee’s were sipped at till they were completely gone. The Jelly Donuts went untouched. A fact I didn’t really notice until later. Even then I brushed it off as ‘maybe he didn’t like that kind’. It was 8 o-clock with Uta locking up that I realized how late it was. Time had just gotten lost somewhere. “Oh gosh! I didn’t realize I’d taken up so much of your time! Bjorn is going to be so crazy when I get home.”

“It’s no problem. I enjoyed it. Since you like coffee you should go to Anteiku in the 20th ward though. It’s got the best coffee. ” He seemed to hesitate or pause for half a second. “I’ll bring you there if you get some free time.”

“I..that. That sounds fun!~ I’m free on weekends? Maybe Next Saturday?”

“I can close the shop around noon for ‘lunch’. I’ve got clients I’ve got to deliver some masks to there anyway.” It's good to hear that he’s not shutting down his work just for me - i hardly want to interrupt his job just for some coffee. Well, no more than I had today.

“I’ll see you Uta! I’ve gotta get home.” I paused as I looked outside, pitch black. And no dog at my side. “It’s dark out...Do you want me to walk you home? You aren't far from here were you?”

“No. I’ll probably be fine. And if you did that you’ll have to walk back alone too.” Despite my words the man was already locking his door from the outside and seemed to usher me towards the stairs up. “Come’on. I’m accompanying you. I’ll be fine walking back. I grew up here.”

“I...Okay.” Walking side by side with Uta I felt a little better but couldn’t help but peer into the dark alleyways as we passed. I felt relief as I got to my apartment's hallway into my house. Uta stood by for a moment as I lifted my door and pushed it to the side to open it. Apparently he noted my lack of keys. “Shouldn’t that lock?”

“It’s broken. Like a lot of things here.” I waved my hand and smiled. “It’s fine. I shove the dresser in front of the door overnight.”

“What about ghouls?” To this question I roll my eyes. “Uta, if a ghoul comes after me with my paper thin walls and shitty door it wouldn’t matter if i had a lock. I’d be fucked anyway.” I pull open the door to show the huge white dog who was again growling at Uta. “My best defence is right here!” I leaned down and wrapped my arms around Bjorns neck. He seemed happy and calmed down with me being so close. “Thank you for walking me home. Be safe on the way back…”

“I will. Have a good night Aika.”

I watched him turn to leave back towards his shop. It had me wondering if his own apartment was in the back. It probably was. That would make sense. I looked down at Bjorn and saw my dog giving me a scornful look. “Don’t look at me like that Bjorn. I got caught up with Uta. I had to apologize for your behavior Mr!” I moved the dresser in front of the front door and got Bjorn’s dinner around and brushed him before bed.

♥


	3. Chapter 3: Anteiku

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They go to get coffee!~  
> Bjorn tries his hardest to be a good boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DON'T KNOW IF ANYBODY IS REEEEADING THIS!  
> Partly writing for my own self indulgence! But I'd love to hear other people's thoughts?
> 
> On another note: I doodled a pic of our main character and her mask. Probably gonna be with the next chapter!  
> Would have posted it now but I don't wanna spoil her mask!~

The rest of the week passed by pretty quickly and seemed to go back to normal. Everything was much the same but now something new had wiggled it’s way in to my schedule. Every day I’d stop by a coffee shop and pick up an extra coffee. After that I’d stop at Hysy ArtMask Studio. A large hot coffee in one hand and a box of munchkin donuts in the other. I kept trying different flavors. I don’t know if he ever actually ate them. He never did in front of me; But I thought someday I’d hit on a flavor he liked!

I never stayed as long as I had that first time I’d stopped with coffee. Mostly, I’d stop. Drop off the coffee and then split after 10 or 15 minutes of talking with the artist. Sometimes we would chat about his masks, other times looking over his sketches. He didn’t just have sketches of masks either - but other works of art that were a delight to look at. They’d be amazing once they were finished.

Saturday came quickly. Almost too quickly, I’d woken up in a panic thinking I might have over slept but saw it was only 10 am. Bjorn lay peacefully next to me looking entirely unconcerned. If he had his way he’d lay on top of me and stop me from going anywhere. I got around by 11:50am and was outside the shop waiting for the man to appear. Uta had said he’d be ready to go at 12 am - but being early was a habit. Bjorn stood next to me looking at the front of Uta’s mask studio. I looked down at him sternly. “You are going to be good today. Aren't you?” I pet his head and looked into his chocolate brown eyes.

My eyes shot up as I saw the tattooed man come out of his shop and lock his front door. A gift bag was held in one hand presumably for his delivery he’d mentioned. The sign was flipped on the outside stating he was away for lunch. I gave him a once over again to see he was wearing much the same comfortable style of clothing and his sunglasses that were a trademark by this point. All this time and I’d never seen him without them. I was beginning to think he had a condition; maybe he was just sensitive to light? “I see you're bringing your dog.” I smiled faintly. “Yeah...I’m hoping he’ll be good today. Maybe he’ll get more use to you if I brought him along.”

I watched Bjorn closely as Uta drew near. Uta for his part seemed to move slower the closer he got to me and the giant dog. I couldn’t blame the man for the caution. “It okay Bjorn. Uta’s a friend. I’ve visited him all week. You know that.” A small growl followed, but at least he wasn’t lunging for Uta like he tried to the first time. “Hey Uta? Can I borrow your jacket for a minute? Maybe letting him smell that before you get too close?”

I watched as the male shed his baggy cardigan jacket and hand it over. For half a second I paused to admire the tattoos I had been unable to see before. I was amazed to see that they went nearly all the way up to his shoulders on both sides. Tearing my eyes away I turned to my dog who still stood protectively next to me; glaring at my new friend. “Okay Buddy. See. Smell.” I leaned down with the cardigan in my hands for Bjorn to smell. He did lean into smell it then looked at me with indignant doubt. “He’s a friend. Okay? A friend. Don’t bite him.” I said it firmly. Some people said that dogs wouldn't understand the words we say. But they were much smarter than people gave them credit for.

I knew those people were definitely wrong. I felt a little better about Uta being near Bjorn when the dog turned his head away and huffed out a big puff of air. Chuckling at my dogs childish, almost human actions I pat his head again and scratched behind a giant floppy ear. "Good boy." I handed Uta his jacket back and it was returned back to it's normal slouchy spot across Uta's shoulders. "I think he'll be fine with you...you could try to pet him?"

I leaned down by Bjorn's side patting him while the dog looked between me and my new friend suspiciously. Uta moved slowly and placed a hand on the top of Bjorn's head and patted him gently while I held his leash and rubbed his back. The dog looked outright offended and reluctant to enjoy any attention from the male. Still; it was good to see he wasn’t biting Uta. "Good Bear! Good boy. See? Uta's not that big and bad!" 

I stood up as Uta pulled away from the giant dog. " I think you were right. He just needed to get used to you. Lately I’ve been thinking I should bring him out to socialize more. Maybe it's been just me and him too long and he's getting jumpy around people..?" I peered down at my best friend; confused why he had chosen to be so disagreeable with Uta specifically.

On the way to the 20th ward me and the tattoo'd mask man spoke on a number of topics. He had started to work on my mask this morning. He told me that the bone was an unusual request but so far it was fun to work with. Most of the time he’d gotten ‘bone’ requests it was to make other materials to look like bone - rather than actually working with it. "Are you sure you don't want the unused pieces back?" He asked me, and eyebrow slightly raised on his otherwise indifferent face. It was never easy to read his expression and it sometimes left me feeling awkward - like i’d missed part of the conversation. "Nope. You can use them in another mask. Just let me see what you make, okay?" 

"Here we are." I blinked and looked up at the cafe front. While we talked I'd completely missed how far we had gotten. Looking back we had talked through a short subway ride and a walk through busy streets that had become a lot less shitty the closer we’d gotten to our destination. "I don't think I've been to this ward before honestly."

"It's nicer than the 4th ward."  
"Cleaner, definitely…" I looked around before laying my eyes on the front of the cafe with the big shiny, plate glass windows to look inside. It looked hella classy. Even my parents probably wouldn’t have had much bad to say about it. And they criticized everything. Being a classy establishment I thought my dog will have to stay outside; which was not unusual. "Bjorn. Stay." Bjorn was sniffing vigorously and diligently around the outside of the shop before sitting outside one of the large window panes to stare inwards. With his odd behavior lately that seems to be the best I could hope for at the moment so I followed Uta into the cafe leaving the huge dog behind.  
Uta was greeted happily by a young woman with purple-ish hair. Behind the counter I could see an older gentleman, a middle-aged woman with dark hair and a male with a rounded sort of soft look to him. A nervous boy with brown hair and an eye patch was running about taking orders and bringing people coffee.All the workers wore nice dress outfits and if I hadn’t been with Uta I might have felt much too under-dressed for this classy cafe. "Who is your friend Uta?"

"This is Aika. She ordered a mask from me last week."  
"...annnd then I kept coming back to hang out or bother him and see his other works." I added; a small smile on my face. "His sketches are amazing…"

"She brought me coffee...and donuts. I thought it fair I brought her here for the best coffee I know..." He seemed to hesitate over 'donuts' ever so briefly. I missed the context but I saw an unvoiced conversation flit between a few of the people in front of me.

"Is that your dog?" I heard from behind me suddenly. Distracted from our donuts conversation I turned and looked out the window. By the window was a male with sandy blond colored fluffy hair. He was staring with wide eyes at Bjorn who stood statue still and staring into the cafe windows. Bjorn’s breath fogged up the glass where he stood with his nose less than an inch from the glass.  
"Y-yeah. He's mine." 

"He's. So. Fluffy!!! Cute girls and cute dogs! This is the best day! Can I pet him?" The male stood up and started to move to the door. Apparently he wasn’t even waiting for an answer. I laughed awkwardly as the nervous eyepatch man yelled after excitable blonde. “Hide! Wait!”  
"Well he's been iffy about strangers lately. He hated Uta…I’ll come with you. I need to make sure he behaves." I muttered and got up. If he was going to try and pet Bjorn I should be there nearby to make sure everything went okay. From the corner of my eye I could see a little girl pull away from her mother and run after the other male.

Outside I stared as Bjorn allowed the male close; his tail wagging as he got attention. Hide had no issues whatsoever getting right up to Bjorn. Close enough that he was already hugging the dog and his entire face straight up disappeared into chest fluff. "He is sooo soooft!!!". I heard muffled out from the dog and man.  
Bjorn had no issues with this random ass man coming out to hug him. The little girl on the other hand. I watched in dread as Bjorn tensed, looked at me and then back at the girl. "Gentle Bjorn…" I said, worry working its way into my voice. "Hinami. Maybe you shouldn't go near him…" I heard the woman's voice next to me and I thought. The mother.  
If there is a god or gods out there please forbid my dog from biting a little girl in front of her mother. Please!

"But he's friendly? See?" The little girl pointed out the Hide currently hugging my dog. She moved before I could say a thing to stop her. Her hand pressed into his side and stroked. There was such a big grin on her face oblivious to any danger…But Bjorn. Bjorn. The magnificent dog stayed still. Whatever issue he was having with random people these days he seemed to realize that it was just a child. He was just frozen there staring down at the girl; but he allowed the touch without a growl or any obvious aggression. He looked uncomfortable and looked up at me with a pleading look thought I could almost understand.

Walking to his side I leaned down and pet him too. From inside the building I could see many sets of eyes on us. Tense and waiting. "Bjorn. Lay down, Be gentle and Play nice. Okay?" Bjorn looked up at me from under his brows and licked my hand.

He heaved a huge sigh and flopped over on his side. Hide and the girl giggled and continued their snuggle assault on my dog. Everyone relaxed. There was this collective exhale of relief that I felt wasn't just from myself. I wasn't sure exactly why - perhaps Uta had warned them that my dog wasn't friendly to him or something.

“He’s been iffy around some people recently. I thought bringing him would be good for socializing with him.” I glanced at the mother and smiled. “I know he’s big but I think he’ll be just fine with her. He's always kinda liked kids. Or you know. Tolerated them. A lot of kids end up pulling on his tail or ears.” I glanced back at my dog, the little girl and Hide. “I think I’d like to try some of that amazing coffee Uta tells me about now though! Caffeine about now sounds amazing…”

I listened mostly as people in the cafe chatted. Uta handed the nervous eyepatch kid a weird mask. Kind of creepy with the mouth zipped shut and one eye covered. The eyepatch was on the opposite side though. “So you’ve been spending time with Uta? Isn’t his shop kind of creepy…?”  
I turned to look at the middle aged woman behind the counter. “Creepy? I guess maybe? I guess I like that aesthetic though.”

“She’s having me make her mask out of animal bones.” Uta supplied, leaning over his coffee and blowing lightly on it to cool it. “B-bones? Real ones?”  
I laughed as she reacted like this. Of course they would. “Yeah? Real ones. I used to hunt...So I kind of have a collection of animal skulls. A small collection not like a lot but..!”

“It’s been interesting to work with. Bone is lighter than some other materials like metal but it’s stronger than clay or wood.” I smiled as he explained his work in his soft spoken voice I liked to listen to. “You know Uta, I don’t plan on being hit in the face while wearing it. But it’s nice to know it should be sturdy.” I didn’t even have any plans to actually wear the mask. Where would I have a chance or reason to? They had been a magnet for me though - and once I saw all those masks lined up, and he offered to make one specific to me. Well I’d wanted to know what he’d make for me...

How did he see me?

“Mom look!” I heard from the doorway. Followed by the clicking of nails on tile. I spun around to see Hinami, the little girl, perched up on top of Bjorns back. She was grinning wide; obviously having quite the fun time. Hide walked in behind her laughing gently and making sure that she didn’t fall off. She was such a small girl that it was in no way hurting him. But the look of pleading from Bjorn made me jump up. “I-I’m so sorry. I told him to stay outside.” I was suddenly afraid I’d be kicked out from the cafe for having a dog inside. “Well isn’t that cute.” I turned to see the elderly gentleman smiling gently. “It’s alright Ms. Aika. He can be inside as long as he doesn't make a fuss.” I felt reassured and smiled gently. “Thank you.”

I turned to the little girl and grinned playfully. “You know if you see another dog Hinami, you probably shouldn’t jump up on them. Their backs aren't designed to hold weight like that. Okay?” The little girl stopped giggling and gave me such a startled look that I kind of felt bad. I added quickly. ‘He’s pretty big though. So I doubt your hurting him any. I bet he hardly noticed someone your size.” I watched her slide off Bjorns back (much to his obvious relief) and wrap her arms around him (to his horror). “I’m sorry Bjorn!”  
It was rather cute; my dog begrudgingly allowing the child to play with him. And the child being completely oblivious to his discomfort. I turned my attention back to the other conversations again.

When it was time to go I found out the Hinami had gone and gotten a brush from somewhere and began to brush out Bjorn. I stared in horror as the girl had done when I normally did - not that she’d harmed him any. But any time I brushed him I ended up with a pile of fur the size of another dog. 

So here sat a grinning child covered in fluff with more fluffs floating around on the ground around her. “Oh my god. Yoshimura I’m so sorry I’ll clean it up! Do you have a broom!?” Apparently everyone else thought that it was hilarious. I might have too but:  
“This is funny until you start finding dog hair in everything you eat and drink!”

That got them to shut up and the workers and I all looked for a broom. Eyepatch and I chased down hair balls around the floor until it was clean. Hairball coffee didn’t sound good at all. Bjorn watched smugly as if this was my punishment for bringing him out to this cafe and socializing.  
I made sure it was cleaner now than when I’d showed up at the cafe - I didn’t want to hear about dog hair in the coffee reviews. Hide went home saying something about school homework he needed to get done before the week days started. 

“I think that’s the last of the fluff, and I should head home.” I slid my empty coffee cup across the counter and smiled. “Thank you, I thought Uta was joking but this coffee is really something amazing!” I started to pull out my wallet when Uta slid over money across the counter in front of my cup. “I’ve got it.”

“Huh?” I blinked owlishly at the male. “O-oh? But I-.”

“You’ve brought me coffee all week.” That was true but it didn’t make me feel any less awkward about him paying for me. “Thanks Uta. This was fun! Now I know where to go when I need some really good coffee.” I looked over to Bjorn; he had never really let down his guard entirely I could tell. He looked tired. “I think Bjorn wants to head home. My gallant protector is looking quite tired...too much playing!~” I glanced at Hinami with a grin. “Maybe I’ll bring him back sometime though!”

Hinami lit up like a light - and despite Bjorn’s apparent dislike of this place and some people as of late - it would do us both good. “Maybe the grumpy face puppy should get used to being out!” I rubbed his face a little aggressively and laughed as he literally groaned at me. Bjorn settled at my side and leaned while I said my goodbyes. I heard someone call out for Uta as we were leaving. “A moment Uta, if you don’t mind.” 

I stayed and leaned down to pet Bjorn. “I’ll wait. Might as well head back together - unless you need to be somewhere else?”  
“I’ll be just a moment.” Uta turned back and went inside the cafe. I watched the door close and the artist return to speak to the others. I could see some of them speaking but couldn’t hear anything. It looked like a serious conversation but watching them talk made me feel like I was intruding in a conversation even though I couldn’t hear anything so I dropped my gaze and concentrated on my dog. “See buddy. It wasn’t so bad being out all day was it? We had fun!” He still looked at me with a judging look but he groaned and leaned into me. I smiled feeling warmth in my chest. 

He softly growled, looking over my shoulder. Before I even looked I thought I knew who it would be. Turning I saw Uta looking down at me; same bored expression as always. “Was something wrong?”  
“No. Everything is fine.” He held a small parcel in one hand. “They just wanted to give me something before I left. I don’t visit all that often. There’s a lot of work at the studio.”

“Oh! Okay! I remember you saying you’d gotten a lot of orders recently. I hope it’s okay we spent so long there.” I said, cheerfully. My eyes glanced down at the parcel in his hand but despite that weird hair raising instinct at the back of my neck I pulled my eyes away. I wouldn’t ask. I couldn’t push myself to ask what it was. I convinced myself the feeling would pass as it always did.  
Uta walked with me back to the station, rode the subway back to the 4th ward and then walked me back to my little apartment. I paused in front of my home and looked around. After being in the 20th ward, this place really did look like a shithole. “That was nice - thanks. Can’t say I can bring you coffee from there since it’s a bit out of the way. But -”

“Don’t come by this week.”


	4. Chapter 4: Mask

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her mask is done and trouble is lurking.
> 
> Aika decides to blindly trust Uta. What could go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Doodle of Aika Bjorn and her new mask.

Chapter 4:

I blinked and stood still. Had I heard that right? Don’t come by this week? Had I been coming by too often and Uta had finally gotten tired of my constant barging in? My hurt must have shown on my face because he tilted his head to one side. That body language that I loved so much. It showed more emotion than his face most of the time. Without someone’s eyes - I never realized how much emotion was conveyed in someone’s eyes before I had to try and and get a reading off Uta. Eyes hidden.  
“I’m working on your mask. I want it to be a surprise.”  
Oh.

OH!

“...Oh. I thought...I thought for a second you’d gotten annoyed at me for something. Like i’d done something wrong and you were warning me to stay away…” I flushed pink as I admitted this. "Sorry, that's silly..." His expression didn’t change much and it didn’t help me that he didn’t comment on my misunderstanding of the situation. I caught a movement from the corner of my eye down the Alleyway and stared at the elderly woman who normally yelled and threw bottles. She looked about ready to start her yelling tirade but stopped seeing the man with me. She paused and then turned around. “Head inside alright? It’s not safe out in the streets in the 4th ward. Even in the day.” I looked up to see his eyes also follow the woman as she retreated back into her home. Bottles unthrown and words not screamed.

“Yeah...Okay.” I said softly; I still worried that he was pushing me away for another reason but I couldn’t guess why. “I guess I’ll wait to hear from you about when I can pick up the mask! Or if you need me to come by for fitting. Okay?”

I shoved my broken door open and let Bjorn in, giving the artist a last glanced before I went in myself and shut the door. Since I was done for the day I slid the dresser in front of the door and flopped heavily on top of my bed. “Hey Buddy…” I said to my dog. “Do you think I have been going a little too nuts visiting him and he’s just tired of me?”

Of course he didn’t answer. He just knew I was upset and shoved his big head into my chest for pets. They made us both feel better. “Yeah...I know. You got brushed out good today. Maybe I’ll bring you back there. Maybe she should do that outside next time though…”  
I looked at my schedule and sighed unhappily. Tomorrow I’d agreed to work an overtime shift. Weekends were horrible - but with my extra expense this month I could use the money. Mr. Fuji was going to be a right bastard though - I could almost already tell it was going to be a bad tomorrow.

♥

“Alright! Have a good night sir!!!” I said in a cheerful voice that didn’t at all match my mood. A day's worth of freaks, perverts and angry women. Now 12 hours of overtime on a weekend and the saying: ‘It takes all types’ just wasn’t cutting it either. “You did a good job today; Aika!~” I heard my boss say into one ear, much to close. I repressed a shiver of disgust and tried to move away from him. “Thank you Sir. I’ll be heading home now.”

“You could earn yourself some extra money, maybe a bonus if you stayed an hour late sweetheart.” 

I hated the smiley look that crawled its way onto this man's face. I hated that fucking nickname! I hated his wandering hands with wide scabby knuckles.“I’m afraid I can’t do that.” And won’t! Not now or ever. “Awe come on. It’s quite a lot of money for you isn’t it? I know your family cut you off - a pretty rich girl like you fending off the world by herself? Why not let me help?!~”

“No.” I seethed out between my clenched teeth. “Get off me.” I shoved his hands away from my hips where they were trying to get a grip. “Goodnight Mr. Fuji.”  
In a blind hurry I left the store and sped walked home. Skipping coffee. I couldn’t visit my favorite artist anyway - and I just wanted to get to someplace I felt safe. 

When I got there I practically slammed the door shut before the waterworks started. I didn’t cry loudly, I just felt numb as the tears slid down my cheeks. Bjorn laid faithfully with me; letting me smear my tears into his soft fur until I fell asleep.

♥

I went about my normal work days as normally as I could. My same ‘cheerful’ expressions and my same customer service. My attitude could be iron fast and steady! I could be strong and deal with it until it was time to go home!

Only after I felt I was in a safe place did I break.

“Bjorn. What did I do to deserve this?” I leaned on the dog and relaxed. It wasn’t long after I got home that my phone buzzed a few times. Sniffling I pulled my phone out. Part of me dreaded that It could be my boss calling me back in. Maybe he wasn’t going to take no as an answer. I could feel the day he might get more aggressive getting closer and closer.

Unknown: I need to fit your mask. But you can’t see it yet.  
Unknown: This is Uta.

I typed my reply without really thinking about it.  
Aika: I could close my eyes.  
Uta: You might peek.  
Aika: Or a blindfold?

There was a pause and then I saw my phone get another reply after a minute passed.  
Uta: Okay. Can you come now?  
Aika: Yes. I can. Just got out of work. I’ll be over soon.

I stood up and wiped my eyes. I had to get cleaned up if I was going to head over. Bjorn watched me move around my apartment. I changed out of my work clothes into a more comfortable set that covered more skin than my work outfit. In the bathroom I wiped my face with a wet towel to try to hide my tears. I did not want the artist to know I’d been upset. It wasn’t his problem - it was mine. I’d already imposed quite a bit in his shop. Plus, somehow my boss acting the way he did felt like a weird, dark, ugly secret that I should be embarrassed about. Even when I didn’t play along with his games…  
It wasn’t my fault he acted like that, was it?

I tied back my hair and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked undeniably worn out - I could see it in the dark circles around my eyes. Maybe he’d mistake the look of recent tears as being part of being just tired.

“Bjorn, stay here. I’ll be back in a little bit.” He tried to wiggle out the door behind me but I stopped him and pushed him back. “Nope. You stay. I won’t be long.”

I did a double check and wiped my eyes. It probably just made them reder honestly which kind of backfired. I was surprised to see that Uta was actually waiting outside his shop for me. “Hey Uta. How’s your week been?”

“A little quieter. Not so many new orders. Almost done with yours. I need to make sure it’s fit right.” He opened his door but paused in his doorway; a hand outstretched towards me. “Close your eyes.” I took his hand and then shut my eyes. With my eyes closed I relied solely on my other senses. Touch: I felt the skin of his hands under my own. They were oddly smooth for someone who worked with their hands with various materials. I could hear people down the nearby streets. Both our footsteps as he pulled me past a doorway. I could feel the change in temperature and air flow from the outside.

He moved slowly, his hands moved to my shoulders and nudged me to a spot. “Right here. You can sit down.” Although I thought I trusted him enough, I still felt with my hands to make sure I didn’t fall on my ass or miss the chair completely. I sat with nothing to do but listen to the male move around the room. “I’m going to put a blindfold over your eyes.”

“Don’t think I can resist peeking?”  
His tone of voice changed ever so slightly - there was a silent laugh in it. “You may forget to keep them closed. I need you here for a little bit. I hope you don’t mind. The bone is proving harder to work with than I thought.”

“Oh. Okay.” I answered; suddenly I felt bad. Maybe bone wasn’t the best medium for a mask. “However; It’s nice to work with something new. It poses its own challenges.” I nod barely and go back to listening to him move around the room while he got things ready. I could feel that itch at the back of my mind. That odd instinct that someone was near me that I couldn’t see. 

I heard fabric being pulled past skin near my head before a cool silk was placed against my closed eyelids and around the back of my head; then it was tied lightly there. After it was on I realized that keeping my eyes shut was actually a lot of work. With the blindfold on my eyes could relax a little more without scrunching them painfully shut. “I’m going to place the mask over your face. Tell me if it pokes you or is uncomfortable anywhere.” 

I smiled as Uta warned me before he made any movement too close to me. I gradually relaxed my shoulders and fell into comfortable silence. The longer I was without my sight the more I felt I could hear. His breath was even and his questions were smooth. He was still learning more about me as he made my mask it seemed. He would go from fitting the mask to my face to what sounded like some electric tools. Some parts of the mask had poked painfully into my face. I indicated where on my face it had been an issue and he found the spot on the mask that was the culprit. Now Uta was reshaping the inner side of the bone to make it so everything touching my face was soft, smooth and comfortable. 

I wasn’t sure how long I’d been sitting; I almost felt like dozing off when he came back over near me. His footsteps giving him away. I almost jumped when I could hear a quick set of sniffs next to my neck. “Uta?” I asked, suddenly not at all feeling tired. 

“Hum?” He questioned. Maybe...maybe he was oblivious of his own actions. “No. N-nevermind. It’s nothing. How’s it coming along?”

“It’s nearly done. Tell me how this feels.” He placed the mask over my face for what had to be the 20th time and I paused to concentrate. There was nothing poking. I could move my jaw, talk and move the rest of my facial features without any issue. “Good. I don’t feel anything else that’s poking.

“Good. If you want to stick around I should have it done in another 30 minutes.” He shuffled through fabric from what I could hear. “Actually I was thinking I’d go and get a coffee...I could come back around then. Do you want one?”

“Hum...sure. I’ll lead you to the door. Knock twice when you come back. Keep your eyes shut.”  
The fabric was untied and pulled away from my eyes, but I kept my eyelids shut. A hand found mine and I was gently pulled towards the exit. I was moved out the door, into the outside air.  
“You can open them now.”

I stood there blinking and squinting. The light felt harsh and much too bright against my light deprived eyes. “Oof. How long was I sitting with my eyes closed. The light burns!” I rubbed my eyes and laughed at how stupid this was. “Okay, I’ll be back! Text me if you need me back sooner!” I waved to the male before heading off. 

At the street level I knocked my heels on the ground and popped the roller skates out. I took off down the road; smoothly flying past my house and the old angry lady towards the only decent coffee house nearby. I grabbed myself a nice Latte with extra shots of espresso since I felt like I could really use the extra caffeine and I wanted something a little bittersweet. Uta; per the unusual I got a plain black coffee.  
It was becoming a habit to get two coffees. The lady at the counter had even asked if I wanted the plain black coffee before I’d even ordered it. I flushed a bright pink color when I realized that I’d been getting Uta a coffee enough times that the workers here were remembering and assuming that I, a single woman would always order one for myself and another plain coffee for someone else. They were definitely getting the wrong idea about me…

I skated back towards the shop with the two coffees; one in each hand. 

I was feeling quite happy; even after my long day and awful week at work. That was until I heard my name being called from aside and looked to see my boss. Mr. Fuji was looking at me with such a sick look in his eyes. Out of habit of listening to this man I stopped short and stared with wide eyes. “Aika. I see you out and about. I thought you had to get home?”

I watched the gears turn in his head as he looked down at the two coffees in my hands. “And instead you're out getting coffee for a boyfriend? Didn’t I ask you when you were hired if you had a boyfriend?” I backed up. We were in a wide street but I felt trapped. Cornered like an animal. “Well?” An answer was being demanded of me.  
“He’s not my boyfriend. I’m just visiting a friend.”  
He didn’t deserve my answer! What gave him the right? So why did I still answer.  
I saw it in slow motion as he reached for me, grabbed an arm and squeezed hard. I jerked back; pulling away from him but stumbling over my skates. I didn’t fall but I did spill some hot coffee on my arm. I fled as fast as I could. I could hear his yelling behind me as I left. 

I was far away before I actually felt the pain from the burn. Looking down I had an angry red mark splattered across my wrist and arm where coffee had spilled over. I didn’t stop or slow for the stairs down to Uta’s shop. I jumped them; keeping the coffees remarkably level so I didn’t spill any more coffee.  
I was panting and leaned over when the door opened to show Uta standing there. He looked...surprised. Eyebrows lifted up over those sunglasses and mouth ajar just a tiny bit.  
“Are you okay?” He peered behind me like he thought something had been chasing me; and for all I knew there had been. I thought about telling him what had happened. The truth. The entire truth. But I closed up; decided that it still wasn’t his problem to deal with. He didn’t need to know! So I lied through my teeth. “Y-yeah I…” I hissed as my new burn flared up in pain. “Just spilled some coffee. Here.” I held out his to him. “Nothing to worry about.”

He took the coffee but didn’t say anything else. I wondered if he knew I was lying. But I couldn’t go back on what I’d said - nor did I want to involve him needlessly. When he did speak it seemed like he’d simply accepted what I’d said and moved on. “Okay. Close those eyes of yours again.” He offered his hand which I took and I shut my eyes again; letting him pull me back into his studio. I was led back to the same stool where I’d sat before. My own coffee was held in my ‘good’ hand while I rested my new burnt hand on my leg. With my eyes closed the pain seemed to flare up worse than before; i tried to keep the grimace off my face.

The blindfold was put back over my eyes and tied in place. I relaxed the best I could to the sound of him finishing up my mask. A few times I could feel him hovering just in front of me or behind me. “I’m taking the blindfold - but keep your eyes shut.”

“Okay.” I felt his fingers pull out the knot and pull away the cool silk from my face. A mask was placed over my face, the inside a soft padded texture sat against my forehead and temples. Straps were adjusted and then he pulled away and walked around me to see his work. He wiggled the mask, but it sat pretty snug on my face. It was an absolutely perfect fit with little to no wiggle room but oddly very comfortable. It was heavier than I’d thought but not uncomfortably so. It felt sturdy. Solid. Probably because every other mask I’d worn had been a lighter masquerade type mask. Meant to be pretty and flamboyant for a party. That sort of thing was fragile and light.

“Comfortable?” 

“Yeah actually. It’s heavy...but kind of comfortably so. It feels like it’s pretty solidly on. Like it’s not going anywhere. I could probably go skating or parkour or something and it feels like it would probably stay on.” 

“Good. In that case, it’s done. Open your eyes.”

I opened my eyes. The inside of his studio was much dimmer than the outside and the light didn’t hurt my eyes as much as the natural light outside had. They adjusted faster than last time.  
I could see out the peripheral of each eye bone of the eye sockets I was now staring through. He’d lined up the eyes of the skull to match perfectly with my own. Beyond that I couldn’t see the mask on myself without the help of a mirror.

“The mirror is behind you.” Uta said. I might have suspected him to be a mind reader - but then there he probably went through that every single time someone came in to fit a mask. I got up and turned not sure what exactly to expect since he’d hidden the design from me the entire time. Upon seeing it though; I understood why. He’d wanted to see my reaction - pure and unhindered by knowing what it would be. I froze like a deer in the headlights as I saw myself in the mirror. The comparison felt appropriate considering the mask that was on my face.

My breath was caught in my throat.

I stepped closer, a smile twitching on my lips. In front of me in the mirror I could see the mask maker waiting to see how i’d react. “This is...absolutely....” What word to use. Beautiful fell so far short that I struggled. On my face was a mask made primarily from bone but Uta had placed white snowy fur over the top half so only the jaws of the creature showed bone. He’d used the wolf’s skull but somehow got the antlers from the stag to look like a natural placement on top. There were large doe like ears off the side of the mask; covered in the same soft fur. They were flexible and I thought they were probably made with leather under that fur. Dark green vines wrapped around the antlers with little pinkish red blooms. The tips of the antlers shone with what must have been finely painted ‘blood’ that flowed down in careful drips.

Even more finely done than the painting I spotted fine wire or thread pulled taut between the antlers. A spider thread like design: complete with a carefully sculpted spider.  
I’d asked for creepy - and it was. Without a doubt. It tread some line between pretty and creepy. It was a nice result between the two.  
More than that though - I found the word.

“I wonder how well you know me now? You said the better you know someone the better their masks turn out. This is just...Haunting. Erie." I reached up and slid the mask off gently before turning it around to look at it more closely. My fingers brushed gently over the fur finding it soft. Not quite bunny soft though. That’s typically what people went for what they wanted ‘soft’ fur. “Is this fox fur?”

“Hum? Yes it is.”

The soft padding on the inside looked like it was actually some kind of thick but supple leather. It kept the pressure off my face but allowed the mask to sit much more flush against me than other padding would have allowed. My fingers gently traced the fine ‘spider web’ and it was what I initially thought it had been. Fine wire; strong but thin.

“Is there anything missing?” I completely missed when he’d walked up so close behind me and nearly jumped in fright. “Oh no...Sorry. I’m just a little awestruck at the moment…I’m kind of glad you hid it from me while you were making it.”

“Yes, I really enjoy seeing people’s first reactions to their masks. Sometimes I don’t get to see them because their masks get mailed out. Your reaction just now was so pure. Although I was starting to miss getting a coffee every day.” 

I looked up from the mask for the first time in a few minutes. I was completely surprised and taken aback by his offhand comment. “Even if it’s not the best coffee?” I asked, a small smile forming on my lips.

“It was nice to have coffee brought to me...I don’t always have time to go out to get it myself.” He sipped his coffee and sat down by his large sketch pad in the back of the room.

I looked back down at the mask. I felt like I could have stared at it for hours going over the details. “Did you enjoy making this? I know you had some trouble with the material.”

“It was fun. I’ll be using the rest of the skulls you gave me for others when I can think of something or someone they’d go well with.” His reply made me feel happy. “If every one of them turns out like this I may just give you more skulls to work with.”

“I suppose if you want to.” I looked up to see that head tilt I liked so much. Such a curious ‘expression’. “Hey I’ve told you a lot about myself. Can I ask you something?”

I wasn’t sure what I’d expected but the long pause that came before his reply wasn’t it.  
“Sure go ahead.” I had been about to ask if he had a condition with his eyes; why did he wear sunglasses everywhere. But his pause made me think maybe that was too personal. 

“What’s the tattoo on your neck mean? Those are letters right?”

"Yes they are. They're in greek. νεχ ποσσυμ τεχυμ ωιωερε, νεχ σινε τε. It means: I can neither live with you nor without you."  
My eyebrows furrowed in thought at that. What sort of tattoo was that? With a translation like that It almost raised more questions than answers. He seemed to be waiting for me to ask another question.  
His eyes were hidden from me - but we still faced each other staring.

My stomach took that moment to growl it's discomfort and displeasure at my current lack of food. My face burned red hot and I broke our eye contact to look at the floor. "I think I should be heading home." I stood, holding the mask close to my chest fondly. 

"Thank you Uta! I hope you don't mind if I come back to visit again."  
"I don't mind. Come back when you wish."  
Still smiling I started my way back home.


	5. Chapter 5: Break In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lurking danger becomes a very real one.   
> And Aika might start to put puzzle pieces together.

My joy was cut short as I saw the state of my apartment door. It was just past dark now but my door looked like it had taken more abuse than normal. It was barely hanging off the hinges. I heard a shout of pain and a crash followed by barking and growling! Bjorn was inside with someone or something…  
I had to act. Do anything I could! With my new mask clenched in one hand I searched for anything I could use as a weapon.

“Stupid fucking mut! Get off me!” I froze as I heard the voice. I KNEW that voice! Mr. Fuji was inside my apartment for some unfathomable reason. With that in mind I was pretty sure my boss was human. I don’t know what made me do it. Maybe it was just because I didn’t want to put it down and I needed my hands free; but I placed the mask over my face and moved forward. I could hear my dog inside growling and snarling at the intruder. Followed by a thump and a yelp of pain. I never knew I had it in me until that moment but I flew into a rage.   
My best friend was in danger!   
He relied on me! I had to take care of him. If anything hurt him it would be my fault one way or another.

I grabbed a loose piece of rebar that lay on the ground and sprinted into my home. The room was a mess now thanks to the dog and man as they had battled it out. I could see - and even smell blood on my things. The walls, the floor, my bed. Mr. Fuji's back was to me; My dog in front of him on the ground. I was hopeful when I saw that my dog's muzzle was covered in blood. I could only hope that it wasn’t Bjorn’s own blood.

Mr. Fuji stood over my dog, a bat in hand. It was raised in the air like he was going to strike again.

I didn’t hesitate as I struck him first across the back of his head. I heard a crack that made me feel instantly nauseous. He fell to a knee and then turned around to stare up at me. I raised the rebar to strike again. A look of horror crossed his features when he saw me. “A g-ghoul?”

I blinked; unable to strike and so startled by his statement that I didn’t think to chase him as he fled my apartment. He was staggering heavily as he ran, crashing into the doorframe and fleeing out into the ward backstreets. He was gone by the time I snapped out of my shock. I leaned down to check on Bjorn. Whatever he had meant by calling me a ghoul I didn’t care for the moment. My dog should be my first priority. I couldn’t find any open injures that were bleeding. That meant the blood was Mr. Fuji’s. “Good boy. GOOD boy.” I praised him. “I hope you got him good! I hope he bleeds out in the street…”

I looked at my door and the state of my apartment. It didn't take a genius to realize I couldn’t stay here. Even if I did there was every chance a ghoul would sniff it out and look inside because of the blood.  
“Come on boy. We’re going to go see Uta…Come on. That’s it.” I coaxed Bjorn into standing and following me. He limped heavily and leaned on my side as we walked but we could make it. The rebar was still in my hand when I knocked loudly. It was well past 8 now. His shop was closed. I hoped that I had been right about him living in the same building as his studio.

I heard shuffling behind the door then silence. I called out. “Uta...please. It's Aika. I have an emergency…” There was a slight pause, more shuffling and then the sound of locks opening; Uta stood there with sunglasses on. At night. I didn't think I'd ever get why he wore them.  
He was looking me and Bjorn over.  
But what a sight it must have opened upon.

My dog limping with blood all around his maw and dripping down his fine white fur. And then there was me! Still masked with wild eyes staring up at him. A bloody rebar in hand. Blood was splattered across my clothing and covering my hands. He looked behind us again, checking for the second time today if I had been chased here.

“This...isn’t what it looks like. My apartment is in rough shape right now. Can I please ask to stay here for the night?”

Without a word he stood aside to let us pass. Bjorn limped in without a moment's hesitation or single growl at Uta. Apparently he had decided a temporary truce was needed. Whatever his issue with the man had been for now it was on hold. I followed shortly after and stood still not too far from the doorway. Shock was setting in. The cool calmness I'd felt before I struck Mr. Fuji with a peice of rebar was fading away. With my free hand I pushed the mask up off my face and set it aside on a counter. “I...This really isn’t as bad as it looks. I didn’t kill anybody!” I paused. In my mind the skull cracking sound of Mr. Fuji’s head resounded in my memory. I might puke. “Probably…”

“Probably?”

My eyes fell to my white knuckled grip on my weapon. I let it go as I saw all the blood that smeared my hands. It clattered to the ground loudly. Uta closed and re-locked his front door. I held my shaking, bloody hands in front of me. “I got home. I saw the door was knocked in. I heard my boss curse at my dog. They were fighting.” I paused and looked down at my dog; he’d flopped over and licked his chin. It was a gruesome sight as he tasted human blood. “I smacked him pretty good at the back of his head. He fell but then got back up and staggered away… why the fuck was he in my house?"  
I looked up and realized in some back part of my brain that Uta was keeping a greater distance between myself and him than normal. Was it because I probably just killed a human? I was covered in human blood. Was he going to call the cops on me? Was I a murderer? Did I just murder a man in my apartment?  
“It was self defense…I didn’t mean to…” I said, my voice felt weak and shaky. Did I have to convince myself? How long had I hated the man? There was an argument that could be made here: that I'd killed him out of revenge for how he treated me. Maybe he had just gone to my house to apologize or talk to me.

But then why was my door broken down? That had to have been his work.

I was broken out of my self-destructive thoughts by Uta asking me a question.  
“You're not bleeding are you?”  
“N-no this is...this is his blood.” I looked at my hands. Red and shaking hands. That sentence sounded so criminal. It was all his blood; on me and my dog. We looked like murderers right now.  
Uta took a few steps closer to me and I looked up. Startled and suddenly wondering why he was getting closer now. Why now? He wasn't calling the cops. Why not? What sort of person didn't call the cops. I would have called the cops. He let us inside even with both of us being all bloody.  
Who did that?

He held out a wet towel. I took it and started wiping my hands and arms down. My burn from earlier still stung but it was the least of my worries. Neither was the new rising bruise from where that bastard had grabbed me earlier in the day. Uta bent and picked up my weapon and looked at it with an almost childlike curiosity that didn’t fit the situation.   
“You’re not going to call the police or report this?” I asked incredulously.  
“...no. Are you?” Uta sounded genuinely curious.  
In my mind the cracking sound of Mr. Fuji’s skull echoed. "You don't seem shaken at all by this…  
has it always been like this in the 4th ward?"  
It was easier to ask that than to answer his question honestly.

"You could say that. Not too long ago it was much worse."

Uta looked down at Bjorn who was licking his jowls clean of blood. He was doing a good job of it. He was no longer dripping blood. I watched, mildly disturbed as he began to lick the floor under him too. Hopefully he hadn't just developed a taste for human blood…

"Come on, sit there on the stool again." When I didn't move on my own at first he reached out and took hold of my shoulders to pull me towards the chair. I jumped at the feeling of a wet cloth being pulled from my hands and then running up and down my arms: wiping away blood. Wiping away evidence. His fingers carefully trailed down one arm and lightly brushed my burn. I flinched away and hissed in pain.  
"I don't have anything to treat this."   
"It will be fine."   
My stomach clenched painfully and groaned. How could I be hungry at a time like this? What kind of person was I that one minute I wanted to kill a man and the next I wanted to eat.  
Each time I remembered what had happened a wave of nausea would smack me and make me want to vomit. At least that felt like a proper response.

"I don't have anything for that either. I'll make some coffee..."  
I blinked owlishly at Uta. Who didn't have food? A thousand questions flooded my mind but I was in no position to be the one asking questions. "I wasn't going to ask you for food. I wouldn't have bothered you at all and stayed at my own house but...there's not really a door anymore. And he took a chunk or two out of my boss…there's blood all over."   
Uta shrugged and moved through a doorway at the back of the studio. Presumably he'd gone into his living area to get coffee as he said.

I stood and walked to Bjorn. I looked over him and started to feel him carefully; looking for any injuries that might be hidden under his fluff. I found a few bumps and bruises but nothing too major. The dog leaned on me and slid his huge pink tongue across my face. Blood and iron still on his breath and in his doggy beard. "Ick...that's gross Bjorn!" 

The dogs tail wagged more vigorously as I whined my complaints. He only licked me even more ferociously while I hugged him. This was the scene when our host returned with coffee mugs in his hands 

"Eweweewewew!" I was nearly squealing as I tried to turn my head only to have his bloody tongue slide over my ear and hair. "My dude! No!no!no!no! That's gross!!! Ewewew! You're not helping any!!!" Bjorn on the other hand was having quite a good time with this fun game!

I was laughing as I finally wiggled away from Bjorn and stood up; dusting off my pants. "Here. It's not as good as a coffee shop. But it'll do." Uta handed me a coffee and then leaned in close.

And he did something I couldn't explain.  
He sniffed at me. I could clearly hear him pull in a couple breaths of air to smell. I froze and stared at him with wide eyes. That was twice he'd done that. The first time with my eyes blind folded I'd thought it was something he'd done without thinking. I brushed it off as being nothing. Maybe even a trick of my mind that didn't actually happen. However just now I could see it was very deliberately done.

He leaned back and sipped at his coffee as though he had not done something so acutely inhuman mere inches from my neck. 

"Hey Uta. Do you make masks for ghouls?" I asked before I could think of what exactly came out of my mouth. There were a hundred other questions both better and worse I could have asked. So if this conversation ended badly I'd have to rest in peace knowing that was the one I'd chosen.  
"It's possible. Many people come in for masks. Any particular reason you're asking Aika?" I felt like I was being goaded into asking something that I may not want the answer to.   
"When Mr. Fuji turned to look at me he didn't recognize me. I had my mask on. He thought I was a ghoul. A lot of ghouls nowadays have been seen with masks to hide their identity…"

"And if I did Aika? What do you think of ghouls Aika? Are you afraid of them?" Bjorn stood and limped to my side: leaning there for my comfort. He could always tell when I felt anxious or nervous. Right now I felt cold dread. And paranoid like a magnifying glass was put over me and I was being studied.

"Yes…ghouls do scare me." I admitted looking at his dark lenses while he relaxed in his seat. Uta took another sip of his drink and looked over at some of his sketches on his desk. "I suppose that's natural. Some of my clients are kind of scary…"  
"So you do make masks for ghouls…" 

"Yes...and humans."   
"What...what are they like?"

He raised an eyebrow. Apparently this was not the expected question. Maybe he expected some sort of rebuttal that he shouldn't help ghouls. Maybe he'd expected to hear from me that I thought their kind were monsters. "You have ghouls who come for masks. I assume then you've met them and asked questions about them. Just like you did me. I'm just curious about the things they like. Their hobbies. What's their life like. Favorite colors. So...What are they like?"

Uta sipped at his coffee and seemed to consider me for a long while. I pulled the stool up and stared back at him; determined to wait for a reply. "They could be like anybody you've ever met. They blend in. They figure out how to survive; And to help with that they get masks."

I wasn't sure how I felt about that answer. Coming from Uta it sounded like they were just...people. Normal people. "Does that make you feel more or less afraid Aika?"

"I'm not sure. When it comes down to it, it was a human that came to my home to try and hurt me. Not a ghoul..." I laced my fingers around my coffee cup and took a sip. A pulled a face and almost gagged. "I really don't get how you can drink plain coffee...it's so bitter."

"I've got no sugar or milk here either." He seemed amused by this somehow. "I hope your not offended if I don't drink this?" I asked laughing softly.   
"Not at all. I almost don't like it myself. Anteiku is much better."

I lowered my eyes to the ground and glared at it. I had too many things I needed to plan for now. Too many unexpected things...

"Thinking of more ghoul questions Aika?" I shook my head.   
"You havn't asked the questions I thought you'd have...It's quite interesting."

"I have a lot. Trust me. I have SO many questions. But right now those are the last answers I actually need."

"They arn't important. Right now I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to go to work tomorrow and pretend I did not crack a rebar pole over my bosses head. Or how I'm going to fix my fucking door. Or how to explain if police come to my apartment tomorrow why there's so much blood. My boss could be dead in an alleyway because of me..." I hoped that he was. "But he might not be. He could have gone home and bandaged himself up and I have to face him tomorrow and pretend that everything is fine. I have to think of a reason why he thinks there was a ghoul in my house. I have to pretend that everything is fine when this is the furthest from fine my life has ever been. And everything around me is metaphorically burning..."

I had a sneaking suspicion about my friend; and at the moment I was not really prepared to deal with it. I didn't want to think of all the details and how they added up. I didn't want to deal with what any of it meant. "My plate is full. And honestly I really, really don't need to know why you don't keep any creme and sugar in your house Uta. It's the last thing on my mind at the moment."

"Fair enough."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Aika it's like having the puzzle put together and only missing one peice but willfully ignoring what the picture is...even when it's obvious.
> 
> Hope people are enjoying our willfully ignorant main character!~  
> Hope I can keep Uta in character - not 100% sure how's it's going. Writing from exclusively Aika's POV. But I'm enjoying writing it.
> 
> Also im writing and 'editing' these all by my self. So mistakes galore. (listening to it in a text to speech helps a little.)


	6. Chapter 6: A favor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aika has to head back to work and avoid some troublesome questions!~

I woke up with a few aches and pains and more notably; fur in my mouth. Spitting and sputtering I sat up and found out that my soft, warm pillow was none other than Bjorn. The pup raised his head to look at me. His expression said quite clearly. "well what did you expect?".   
"Morning." Sitting at his work desk was Uta. Blank expression and currently sketching out something I couldn't see from this angle. I rolled away from Bjorn and sat up from the floor. "What time is it?" I covered my mouth as I yawned. Tears sprung to my eyes and I rubbed to wipe them away. I definitely didn't sleep WELL but I had gotten some sleep.

"Just past 7. I have to open soon."

"Oh shitshitshit! Work." I was up and moving on my feet in a split second. Bjorn whined, stood and stretched out before following behind me. "Thanks Uta for the floor space!"

"You could have slept on the couch…"  
"I kinda just showed up out of the blue and didn't want to impose any more then I had to. At least this place has a better door than mine."

"It was still better before yours was broken down…" Smart ass. They were true facts; but also not real important right now. "Later I gotta try to fit that door back on it's hinges. So that'll be fun. Assuming I'm not in jail…"  
I had to get to my apartment, check it over and get changed into my work clothes. I looked down at my dog and froze. Where on earth was he going to stay? Not in a apartment with no door! He had to stay somewhere and shutting him in my bathroom (the last remaining room with a door) in my apartment wasn't an option. Bringing him to work to see my boss who may or may not be dead but definitely got BIT- not an option.

"Uta...can I ask you a really, really huge favor? I'll owe you."   
He looked up from his sketch and over to me through tinted glasses. Deep breath Aika. Just ask. The worst he can say is no.   
"Can you watch Bjorn while I go to work? Just for today. My door will be fixed by tonight if I have anything to say about it." I could almost hear the gears click as Uta looked down at my dog; his eyebrows raised above the tops of his sunglasses. "I recall he didn't like me much…"   
"I wouldn't ask but I literally don't have any other options but to ask you. I doubt he'll bite you." And if my suspicions about Uta were right - it wasn't likely getting bit by a dog would really hurt him all that much.   
When he didn't immediately respond I added. "- and if it helps, I'll owe you a nonspecific favor."

I could see a tiny twitch at the corner of his mouth; a tiny smirk. "That's a pretty dangerous thing to offer someone."   
"True. I'll make an amendment. 'A non-specific favor that won't get me killed. Or arrested' But also keep in mind I might already be in jail by noon." Still looking at my dog he finally nodded. "How optimistic. I'll watch him until you get back."  
I let out a sigh of deep relief. I already had so much to worry about; at least I didn't have to worry about where the heck my dog was. "Thank you."

"You going to stay with Uta for the day." I said to the dog in question while rubbing his head and ears. Bjorn looked outright offended as I shut him in the studio with his 'sworn enemy'. I felt bad for both of them. Uta because he was stuck with a dog who honestly didn't really like him. And Bjorn because he was going to be stressing where I was and why he had to stay with Uta in an unfamiliar place. I had no choice though! Hopefully the two boys could sort it out over the day without killing each other. I had very little time to get around so broke into a run towards my apartment. The door was still wrecked but looking inside there was no lurking ghoul. Nothing new seemed disturbed and as far as I could tell nothing was missing. Not that I really had all that much to steal to begin with. I was hopeful.

Unfortunately my work clothes had blood splattered across them.

"Okay Aika. Think. THINK." It's not illegal to have someone break into your apartment. If I need to I could just explain I came back to this mess and my hurt dog. I then went to stay the night with a friend. Just exclude the ghoul part. Exclude the smacking him over the head part. I could just head to work and innocently explain I'd been away from home when it happened and my clothes needed to be cleaned after the break in.

That...sounded solid enough. It would have to be.

❤️

I took a deep breath and walked into the front door of my job; heart beating almost painfully fast. I didn't see Mr. Fuji but I also didn't see any police or investigators yet. I started my day as normally as I could. I acted ordinary and had ordinary conversations with my co-workers. I took lunch and finally got something into my growling stomach. There was still no Mr. Fuji halfway through my day. When it was getting late enough that everyone seemed to notice. I did finally ask my co-workers if they'd seen him; feigning some amount of concern but mostly shrugging it off. It's not like anyone who worked for him actually liked the man. They just played along with his games for the money.  
"Have you seen him?"  
"No. It's really weird. He's normally in by now...You think he's sick?"

"Ms. Kaneshiro?" I turned quite quickly at the sound of that name. My family name was one that I am rather unfamiliar with being addressed by as of late. Ever since I'd left my family I'd never even told people my last name if I didn't have to. "Yeah? That's me I guess. I prefer Aika though. If you don't mind..." I looked up at a man in a suit. Tall. Dark hair. He had nice eyes though; kind. "When was the last time you saw your boss." 

Time to try and act innocent. "Mr. Fuji? I saw him yesterday, for work and also..." I paused. Build suspense and make them ask the right questions. "Well...Did something happen…?"  
"We came here to ask you that. What happened after work yesterday?"   
Come on. Act! Liiiie. I've done it hundreds of times! I looked around, eyes wide and lowered my voice to a whisper. "If I tell you he might find out though! I-I need this job!" 

He exchanged a look with another suit behind him; and older gentleman. He looked like he wasn't even paying attention to our conversation. I had that sneaking intinct though that he was paying very close attention. Kind-eyes glanced over his shoulder at his partner 'old-dude' before adding. "Ms. Kan--Aika. I can assure you he won't find out."

He's dead. I knew it. With a statement and finality of that sort it was fairly obvious. Oddly I felt rather numb to it.'Good' hissed a little voice in the back of my head. 'Good that he's dead. He fucking deserved it.'

"Aika. What happened?"   
" I...if your sure." I lowered my voice even more. "Well...I was visiting a friend last night and went to get coffee for the both of us. You know the cafe down the road from here? On the way back Mr. Fuji saw me out and about after hours. I wasn't on duty or anything but he approached me. I s-should have reported it. But I really need this job! I'm sorry."

The man looked suddenly confused and conflicted. Whatever he was expecting was not this. This was a very different story than he thought he'd get. "Ms. Aika...?"  
"He grabbed my wrist…started to yell at me. He never liked it when any of his employees had a boyfriend or social lives. I ran away. Ended up dumping coffee on myself." I gently raised my sleeves and watched the kind-eye's expression drop flat when he saw my untreated burn and bruises. The bruises took the shape of a large hand print squeezed into my arm. Unfortunately this part wasn't acting and these marks still hurt quite a lot.

"After that I went back to my friends house. I stayed til it was pretty late. But when I got home my house had been broken into. And someone attacked my dog. Talk about a shit day..."

"You didn't report it? Any of it."

I smiled bitterly. No acting needed. "I don't know where you've been. But this is the 4th ward…I figured I considered myself lucky Mr. Fuji was only a pervert and not a ghoul trying to eat me. Well probably...he wasn't was he?" I turned my head from him to the old man quickly.   
"No. No. He wasn't!" Kind-eyes held up his hands and smiled at me. Hook. Line and sinker. I knew I had him on my side. I looked between the suits and frowned. "Am...am I in trouble? What's this about? If you didn't come here because he assaulted me…and he isn't a ghoul?"

"No. I'm sorry. Mr. Fuji was found in an alleyway. It looks like it was a ghoul attack." 

"I...oh no." I looked around the shop and frowned. That really was terrible. Where was I going to work? "I'll admit I didn't like him. You know...for obvious reasons. But ghouls?"   
I yanked down my sleeves to hide the marks there and tried to look upset. Apparently I hadn't lost the touch I'd learned from lying to my parents because a gentle hand was placed on my shoulder. "It's fine. Did you have someplace safe to stay? We could check your apartment for any evidence of intruders."

"No. It's fine. You have a murder investigation don't you. I'm sure a breaking and entering is nothing. I just need to fix my door. It hasn't ever really been lockable since I lived there. I should have fixed it ages ago...and my dog is okay. So it was probably just a junkie looking for stuff to take."

"Okay Ms. Kaneshiro -er Aika. Take care. If you need me here's my card." I took it and looked at the name. Amon.  
"Thank you. Amon…that's very kind of you." They were ghoul investigators. It said so on his card.   
"We recommend everyone here head straight home. Mr. Fuji's family is being informed and unfortunately at the moment the business is going to have to close. I'm told you should all still be distributed your pay that's owed after the investigation concludes. Get home safe, okay?"

I was ushered out with my co-workers. Understandably I could see everyone was upset. We had all lost our jobs at once. Many of us had no other option.  
Heck - I had no other options.  
Well fuck. I might have gotten away with murder but now I had no job.

At least with the information about Mr. Fuji getting eaten by ghouls meant that it wasn't entirely my fault. Though, he probably wouldn't have been eaten if he wasn't covered in blood at the time.

♥

I walked back towards home paused at my door and then continued on past towards Uta's. I opened the door and called out as if I'd done it a hundred times now. "Uta, it's me. Got sent home early…there was some CCG agents there sniffing around and ---" I paused seeing Uta was standing there silently.  
The male had his back turned to me. "Uta?"

I watched as he picked up his glasses placed the shades over his eyes and then he slid something into a random cupboard where I couldn't see before turning around. He chewed something and then swallowed it down pretty quickly. I opened my mouth then closed it sharply. Nope. Still not going to ask.  
"Okay...you good? How was Bjorn?"  
Bjorn lay in a corner with his tail wagging with a thump, thump, thump against the ground. "He stayed there most of the time. He still keeps his distance. But that's fine as long as he's not biting me."

"Thank you Uta for watching him."

"What happened? Your back earlier than I thought...and not arrested. Why were CCG agents at your work?" He leaned agaist the cupboard where he'd put that unknown 'something' into. I couldn't help but think he looked like a guilty child that got caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

"Yeah. My boss apparently showed up dead. Running around the ward covered in blood apparently isn't generally a good idea. You know?"

"Oh. I see. Then I suppose ghouls found him."

"You guessed it. There were a couple investigators. They asked when I last saw him…" I paused and rubbed my bruised wrist. "So I told them the truth. Most of it. Excluding the fact that I knew it was him in my house. Also excluded taking a good swing at the back of his head with a peice of rebar. Also Bjorn bitting him. And the ghoul mask thing..."

"So I suppose I'm in the clear. They seemed to buy it hook, line and sinker." It felt unlikely that they would be back unless they had a specific vendetta or info against the ghoul who ate Mr. Fuji. They hadn't seemed keen on giving me too much inside information. Just what I'd needed to know.  
I groaned and palmed my face. "But now I gotta go job hunting again. We're not even getting paid til after the investigation is done."

I sighed and looked carefully at Uta. He still stood vigilantly by his cupboard.  
"I've gotta go try to repair my door and get blood out of my things. And let you get back to whatever you were doing." My eyes swapped suspiciously from Uta to the cupboard. "Thanks for watching Bjorn for the day. I owe you."   
I called Bjorn. He came right to my side and looked up at me. I was happy to see him limping a little less than last night. "Later Uta."

Back at my apartment I stared at the doorway; tools in hand. The best way to go about this might be to take it all the way off and then re-screw it all back in correctly. Maybe I could even make it so it locked again. Then I could worry a bit less about this happening again.  
Bjorn had immediately loped into our house and went to lay down. He was finally home. At least one of us was happy to be here. Door or not. I on the other hand had a lot of cleaning ahead of me.

"Hey."  
I yelped and jumped when I heard Uta's voice right behind me. "My. God. Uta. Don't do that! Are you trying to give me a heart attack? You scared the living daylights out of me!" 

He innocently held up my new mask in front of me. "You forgot your mask."   
I was quick to take it from him; a warm smile on my face. "How's the repairs going?"  
I turned to look at my doorway again considering it. "No where fast. I was trying to figure out how to get it down the rest of the way without breaking it more or hurting myself."

"I could probably help." He walked up to the doorway but paused. "If you want...?"

"Yeah. I mean sure...if you don't mind." I tried not to sound so excited that I was getting help. "Do you think you could manage to lift it just a little so I can get the screws out all the way? If I try it this way I'm afraid it might bend or break the screws." 

I made sure that I had the right screw driver and knelt by the door as Uta held up the entire front door. Once all the screws were lose I told him quickly. "Okay you can put it down now. I need to fix these alignments before it can go back up." He set the door down by a free wall and left it leaning. I looked up and around my room.   
There was still blood on things.

All in all calling it an 'apartment' was probably being too kind. It was a single 100 square foot dwelling with a mini fridge and a microwave. There were nicer roadside motels out there. The bathroom was set up in the corner in a small closet like space. It had it's own door that was currently closed. Besides clothes there was just my pile of skulls on the wardrobe, my futon that stayed in 'couch' mode that I slept on and a small end table with a dim lamp. A dog bed and a few toys lay near the foot of my 'bed'. I lacked any real decoration besides the skulls and dog toys. "Ugh...yeah. So. My apartment!" I said awkwardly and gestured to the very small room. "And there's still blood all over..."

He sniffed the air and I felt awkward and on edge. I think whenever he does that in the future I'm just going to ignore it the best I can.

"Those are your skulls you collect?" He went to them and looked without touching them. "You can pick them up if you want Uta. If you see any you'd like to use let me know, you can have them. Oh! Except for the bear skull."

"Is that this one?" He held up a large complete skull looking into it's eye sockets and opening it's huge jaws. "Yeah. Isn't it neat?!" I grinned proudly as i finished up realigning the doors hinges. Now all we had to do was lift it up and screw in the other half. Hopefully I'd done it right and it would swing shut cleanly. If I was lucky it might even line up with the locking mechanism.  
"You hunted these yourself?"  
"Um-hum. That guy I shot through the eye. I was quite proud of it for months after." I chuckled softly thinking back. "Uncle liked listening to my excited retelling but my parents got really tired of hearing about it pretty quickly."

He turned the skull around a few times. "No bullet holes though?"  
"Of course there's no bullet holes." I stood and moved over to my futon and reached under it. Pulling out an metal shafted arrow with brilliant red and black feathers I held it up. I placed it in the bears eye socket and pushed it back until it lined up with a tiny nick in the inner side of the skulls bone. "I didn't hunt with a gun. I was an archer. It's easy to point a gun and pull a trigger. I suppose I liked the extra skill it took to shoot a bow better. Plus with a bear or a cougar if you didn't hit it right the first time it would turn and charge."

"And anyway - guns are noisy and smell like sulfur..." I scrunched my nose and shook my head. I took back my arrow and stowed it back under my 'bed'. "Can you lift that door back up? I think I've got it aligned right."

He put down the skull and picked up my door away moving it this way and that until we had it lined up. "Okay. Hold it. Right there." I screwed in each of the screws as quickly as I could. I was not wanting to leave my friend holding the entire door's weight for too long. He didn't seem to mind much though. The door didn't even shake in his grip as he held it up.

"Okay...I think it's all screwed in tight. Try letting go."  
We both stood back and watched as the door hung on it's hinges. It did squeak...but it slowly swung shut with a soft click. Something it never did before. "Woo! It works! I think it needs oiled- but it works!"Curiously I turned the lock left and then right and heard it click locked and unlocked. It worked!

"I guess I'll actually have to remember to bring my keys with me from now on..." It would be just my luck if I managed to lock myself out now that I could actually lock it.

"Hey, Aika hunting like that seems pretty dangerous. Didn't it scare you?"

I thought about it honestly. It was hard to explain how I'd felt back then. "Yeah...I suppose it did. But it was kind of thrilling too I guess. If I missed I'd get mauled and probably die...my uncle had a really unhelpful saying. He said: "If you think you're going to miss Aika - don't.” I'm not exactly sure if he meant don't shoot or don't miss...I suppose it could have been either. But-" I nodded at the skulls. "I didn't miss often and I’m not dead."

I went to get a cloth, wet it and started to scrub a little bit at some of the blood stains on the walls. After a few minutes though I was pretty sure that I wasn’t getting anywhere with it. “Uta, what color do you think I should paint my walls...cause this shit isn’t coming out. I’ll have to just paint over it…” A couple years ago I’d have been appalled; I suppose I’d been in the ward long enough to just not give a damn if there were hiding blood stains under layers of paint.

“Red.” 

Hum...that could work. The dark color wasn’t likely to allow any dark spots on the wall to show through. Uta bent down to my level for a second getting way too close to my face for comfort. "I want to collect my favor." I swallowed and leaned back; surprised by the sudden announcement. I honestly hadn’t thought he’d have thought of something so soon. "Uh-huh...and that would be?"

“A surprise.”  
Oh, That’s not ominous at all. After a moment's hesitation and inner debate I nodded. I had promised a ‘non-specific’ favor. One that would not kill me or get me put in jail. So this shouldn’t be anything too crazy - whatever it was. I wasn’t going to back out of a promise just because it made me slightly uncomfortable.   
“I suppose that IS as non-specific as you could get. Telling me it’s a surprise...alright. Let me get Bjorn some food before we go.”

Bjorn ate better than I did. I made sure of that - while I was eating ramen he was eating a balanced raw diet. He did like kibble as treats though. Sometimes when Bjorn saw me putting food in his dish he turned into a weird hopping, fluffy mess. It was probably a damn good thing I never got any decorations for the house. He had limited space to wiggle around; but he quite happily knocked into everything near him. Pity the fool that stood in the way of that. He was just so damn excitable as he wolfed down chunks of meat.  
“Let's go before he knocks one of us over on accident…” I muttered. It was cute as heck - but just wait till you got knocked from your feet to your ass in no time flat. For the first time since I had the apartment I grabbed my keys from their wall hanger and left; locking the door behind me. It was such a nice feeling. It didn’t make the door any more sturdy - but it was just a little more secure.

I followed Uta back to his studio, sticking close while he unlocked his door. He opened it wide and let me enter first. “Did you close early?” I asked as he relocked the door after we entered. “Yeah. I don’t expect any of my usual clients to come by today. Decided I’d close up shop for now. Sit down anywhere you want.” I still didn’t know what I was doing here or what my favor back to Uta would be. I did as I was asked though and sat down on the same stool he used to measure. It was the only place to really sit properly unless I sat back down on the floor. He didn’t say or ask for anything else; just sat at his desk with his drawing pad and started to sketch. I stayed quiet and waited for quite some time- but it seemed as though this was entirely what he’d planned.  
He had wanted to sketch me? I wanted to ask - But I eventually decided to simply sit by quietly and wait while listening to the sound of him working. He’d show me after I supposed.   
At some point I realized I was dozing off while upright when my head bobbed; momentarily it woke me back up before I felt drowsiness strike again. I folded one knee up to my chest, wrapped my arms around it and propped my head up.

With my eyes closed again I continued to listen to the scratching of pencil on paper.


	7. Chapter 7: Delivery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Puzzle pieces finally make a whole picture!~

Chapter 7:

I woke up to dim grayness surrounding me. The air itself felt stuffy and warm. I sat staring at my small grey world for a few minutes. I shifted and so did the walls around me - It took my sleeping brain an embarrassingly long time to wake up and realize that the ‘walls’ was just a sheet that Uta had thrown over me. I unfolded myself and whined as my bones cracked and popped. Grabbing the sheet I pulled it off my head and gathered it up into a ball in my arms. 

I turned to glare at the man guilty of throwing the sheet over me but found a sight I didn’t expect. Anything I’d meant to say or accuse Uta of died in my throat. Uta lay bent over with arms crossed on his desk; head settled on his forearms. Apparently asleep.  
I took out my phone and saw that it was very late. We’d come back around six thirty or seven and it was now close to midnight. I'd likely fallen asleep to the sound of pencil scraping and he hadn't woken me up.  
My dumb ass had actually fallen asleep here for the second time. My heart sped up just a little bit as a late nervous reaction. That bad been dangeroius and stupid. Since when did I fall asleep at someone else's house! Especially knowing or thinking what you do about him- that thing you keep ignoring! I could have freaking died! Who would have even noticed!? My estranged parents? The police? I’d just be another number on a list of deaths. Maybe just a dash as some almost retired cop put another line on his board for the week. Forgotten a week later...  
My eyes stared at the sleeping face of my host. His glasses were pressed into his face - I knew enough that he’d have indents later when he woke up. He seemed so harmless; but if what I thought about Uta was true - then I was being very, very trusting. Naive. Foolish. Plain ol' dumb. 

I looked down at the sheet in my hand in wonder. I shouldn't trust him. I knew that. But to doubt him felt needlessly cruel. It’s not like he’d given me anything to make me doubt my safety here. I'd walked in blindfolded. I'd slept here, twice and let him into my house when he offered to help. He'd even watched my dog who hated his guts.  
He had some odd behaviors. He could sometimes stand too close or got too personal. The sniffing at me was the only one that truly got under my skin though.

I jumped when there was a knock at the studio’s front door. “Yo! Uta! Got a delivery for you. Fresh!~” My heart dropped into my stomach and my limbs felt numb. I looked from Uta to the door in a panic. I couldn’t just sit here! There was no way I was going to answer his door for him either; especially not at this hour. I reached for hesitantly for Uta’s shoulder and gently shook him. “Uta...Uta...come on wake up.” I whispered harshly - hoping to the heavens that nobody outside heard me.

He startled and sat up; glasses slightly askew but still covering his eyes from me. He froze when he saw me standing there. Sheet in hand, hand on his shoulder and an anxious expression stuck fast on my face. ‘Your door’ I mouthed and pointed at the studio’s front door. As though on queue the voice spoke up again. “Hey man, Uta you there?” I looked from the door to Uta again. His mouth hung slightly ajar for a few solid seconds before he spoke up for the person outside to hear. “Yeah. Give me a second…”

Uta stood and gestured silently for me to start moving. When I didn't move fast enough he grabbed me by my shoulders and started guiding me towards the back of his studio. His head turned from side to side as if looking for something. “Hide there. Stay quiet.” Uta whispered and pointed under a table at the back of the room. When I’d crawled under it he took the sheet from my hands and threw it over the table like a tablecloth. It hung to the ground in front of me. My very thin veil of shelter.

My heart was racing painfully in my chest. I closed my eyes and covered my mouth with my hand hoping to avoid moving the cloth with my breath. I heard Uta cross the room quickly and the door unlock. “What took you so long? Got your delivery. As ordered. Fresh as I could get.” I heard someone enter, a paper bag rustle. Some money was exchanged.

“Thanks.”  
“Yeah man. No problem. You heard about those two doves that were sniffing around today? Something about some local store manager. Looks like they were just passing through. They were headed up to the 20th ward.” 

“Yeah. I heard about it. Were they? I might warn some of the folks up there...”

“Yeah. Apparently they are after Tsukiyama and Jason. Okay - I’ll be back when I get more. Those aren't my favorite so...” There was a pause and then a couple large inhaled sniffs followed by a deep chuckle. “Oh but THAT smells cute!~”  
“I had a customer earlier.”

“Oh really?! You should get her to come back!” I couldn’t hear anything from Uta but the man immediately back peddled and his laugh sounded nervous. “Wow okay! Alright. I'll take that as a hard no then. She’s all yours! I’m not here to start trouble. Enjoy those!”

I heard the door click shut and the locked get rehooked. Uta walked past my hiding place and through the door that lead back to his own apartment. He came back a minute later and leaned down in front of the sheet. I opened my eyes and stared at that hovering shadow that fell onto the white barrier between us.

A hand gripped the cloth and pulled it up revealing Uta looking in on me; sunglasses in place.  
I still sat huddled under the table; hand over my mouth. “He’s gone.” I nodded and let go of my tight grasp of my own mouth and nose. I let out the held breath and stared up at my host. He wasn’t moving out of my way though and I started to feel cornered. 

“Uta…?” The phrase ‘she’s all yours’ echoed in my mind.

“You’ll have to stay the rest of the night. You shouldn’t be caught leaving at this hour…” He pulled back and got up from his crouching position. I watched him go and the cornered sensation left me. My shoulders relaxed; I hadn’t even realized I’d tensed them. I felt kind of guilty for what I was almost sure was a natural response at this point. He moved away and I stood up to follow.

A minute of silence followed. Neither of us spoke to the other. He didn’t look up from his mask sketches and I looked at some of the finished works. The quiet felt wrong -So I broke it.  
“What did you draw earlier Uta…?”

He turned his head to look at me then silently turned his large sketchpad around for me to see. They were rough but he’d drawn several sketches of...me. Two out of the three sketches of me were of me sleeping though. Eyes closed and mouth slightly agape. “Wow...that’s ‘so’ flattering.” I chuckled softly. The atmosphere felt suddenly lighter. Better.  
“Maybe don’t fall asleep here again then.”  
“Is that a threat?” I raised an eyebrow.  
“If you don’t want to get drawn drooling next.”  
“Hey! No! Don’t do that!”

I smiled but I felt the expression fade little by little as I thought back to what had just happened. There probably wasn’t much more sense in sitting here and denying everything. There was no way to continue this way.   
Something the ‘delivery guy’ had said got me thinking. Not just ‘she’s all yours’ but the names he’d mentioned. “Hey...that guy mentioned Tsukiyama…” I saw Uta stiffen a little in his seat; his back tensed and his hand paused as he reached for a pencil. “Yes. He did.”

“He didn’t mean Shuu Tsukiyama did he?”   
"Do you know him, Aika?" I nodded and watched as his mouth turned downwards and thunder clouds seemed to gather around his expression. "How do you know him?” 

"He was a childhood friend I guess. I used to crawl out my window and go have some fun til my parents found out. Hung out with him. Haven't seen him in years though…"

“You had a safe life and instead you climbed out the windows and ran away?”

“I was safe but I wasn’t happy Uta…” I frowned and stared down the gothic male. “Every single thing I did was chosen for me. It was like being a fucking puppet for my parents. They would have continued for as long as they lived if I hadn’t left. So of course I tried to have my own life and snuck out to find friends…”

I frowned as I watched Uta pick up his pencil and start to sketch again without saying a word more. Had it upset him somehow? Because of my old life with high status, money and safety - things that were short at hand in a ward like this? Or was it because of Shuu.   
“Why do you seem upset? Do you dislike Shuu? He was always pretty charming when I was younger…”

“Yeah. I know of him…”

Our conversation hung there for too long. It felt awkward and cold.  
“Uta, my door is fixed and I’m not in jail for murder…” I said while taking a step closer; my nerves were going haywire telling me to stop. I shouldn't be about to do this I should be running! “It means my plate of current questions and concerns is nearly empty now…” Uta raised an eyebrow at me but did finally give me his full attention. “Have you got more questions now Aika?” I nodded and took another step closer to him. Within arms reach I slowly reached for his sunglasses. I couldn’t help that I shook slightly as I did so.   
“Yeah…if that's okay?”

I waited and allowed him plenty of time to move away or just avoid my grasping hands. For better or worse he did not move nor stop me from removing his glasses.   
He was waiting patiently. ‘Maybe’ I thought solomely. ‘He wants me to too. I’ve been stalling.’   
I held either side of his glasses and pulled them gently from his face.

Crimson red and void black stared back at me. His irises and pupil darted while searching my face for my reaction. “You know…” I said softly when breath figured out how it could filter it’s way back into my lungs. “I thought for a while maybe you were sensitive to light…but wearing sunglasses at night was pretty suspicious.”

“Maybe next time I’ll tell someone they’re tattoos.”  
“Actually!!!” A smile twitching at my lips as I said it. “That actually is less weird than putting on sunglasses all the time. You should probably go and try that next time!”

“I’ll consider it.”

“So...You’re a ghoul.”

“Yeah. I am.”

“That is why Bjorn didn’t like you.”

“Your dog apparently is pretty good at sniffing out ghouls. It's lucky the CCG apparently hasn't thought of using them.” He stated, leaning back in his seat and watching me. I could see his eyes now and could barely force myself to look away. I’d never seen ghoul eyes up close like this before. Once or twice I had seen them illustrated in the news but never in person. Admittedly their red and black ocular organs had a strangely beautiful pull to them. I watched how the pupil would dart and flick from one place on my face to another or focus straight into my eyes. It was a little easier to read his expression (or lack there of) now.

If I had to guess he seemed to be waiting for some sort of fallout. Honestly so was I.

“So uh...awkward question. Are you going to eat me now?”  
He leaned up and grabbed the front of my shirt pulling me down towards him. My heart hammered as fear set in. Being this close my breath caught as I stared into his eyes.   
He sniffed more deeply.  
“You smell good. I could...” That was in no way comforting but he let me go sending me stumbling back a few paces. I pursed my lips tightly together and put my hands on my hips sunglasses still in one hand. “I had noticed you kept sniffing at me and my house. Did you keep doing that on purpose because it bothered me?”

“You kept ‘ignoring’ that.”  
“It's really hard to ignore completely. It’s weird Uta. Humans don't do that.”

We both kept staring each other down until one of us broke and said something. I didn’t know if he truly was considering if he wanted to eat me or not. Nor did I now what he would decide when he did. Finally he was the one who spoke up. “No. You smell good but I am not planning on eating you." He tilted his head to the side in that curious body language I found endearing. “Aika, You should stay away from Tsukiyama if you see him.”

“Is he a ghoul too?” I felt my stomach clench hard as Uta nodded. “He’s known as the Gourmet.”  
“Oh...really?” That name was all over the news. “He was always so nice to me when I was a kid…”

“He’s charming to get close to people.” My ghoul friend said; his eyes finally pulled away from my face and back to his sketch. He looked more relaxed now; looking over and adding little bits here and there. 

“Maybe. I thought he always acted like that around other people. He had a way with words. The french was a little over the top I thought...but I always thought around me he seemed to relax a little. We had fun. Maybe I was wrong…” I hated to think that my only real friend from years ago had actually just been trying to eat me. He had been the only friend I’d chosen for myself. His family’s higher status had made him the only friend of mine that they approved of.  
He’d had plenty of opportunities back then to kill me. So why hadn’t he? 

“So...the delivery?”

“Eyes.” He said simply as though that explained it all. When I did nothing but stare at him blankly. He popped open a drawer and pulled out a shallow dish. Eyes stared back up at me from the dish. I watched in mild horror and fascination as he picked one up between his fingers and licked it briefly. The ghoul popped it into his mouth like it was a Halloween candy. He bit into it popping the thing between his teeth and swallowing it down.   
The ghoul had watched me closely the entire time.

“Oh.” Was all I could manage as he picked up another and just licked it again. I felt like I was being tested. How far was I willing to stay and watch as he ate parts of my own kind in front of me.   
Would I stay his friend? Could I? I was a risk to his own life in a way. Did he think I was going to run and tell the CCG investigators I’d seen at my work or call the 1-800 number for the organization? I had Amon’s card tucked in my wallet. It would be as quick as ordering a pizza and Uta’s entire life would either be over or in ruins. 

Maybe other people didn’t realize when they saw a ghoul but ghouls had to be just as careful around humans as humans were around ghouls. They had just as much to lose. One single peep out of a human. A single scream of terror or an accusation and people would know…  
It was so easy for a ghoul to be singled out in a moment and their entire lives gone.   
Of course it was easy to concentrate on the fact that they ate humans. That wasn't the whole picture though.

“I’m not planning on reporting you...but could you stop tonguing the eye and just eat it already.”  
He stopped licking the eye and stared at me clearly surprised. Quickly, it was flicked into his mouth and swallowed a little more quickly than the last. 

“Are your questions answered then Aika?”

“Not even close…” I smiled and added. “So...that favor you wanted was just to draw me?”  
He nodded his head, his fingers moved to grab another eyeball from the dish but stopped short and pulled back. “You know you could have just asked for that without using a ‘favor’ for it.”  
“Try not to give away many of those favors. I could have asked for something much less friendly than for you to come over for a sketch." He leaned in close and looked me straight in the eyes. 

As much as I wanted to argue that he wouldn’t have harmed me I knew that I hadn’t really known that for sure. Especially not when I had been unsure what Uta was.  
I had been relying on a mutual agreement; a game in which I’d deny all the evidence in front of me. The only reason I was still alive was because Uta had silently agreed to play the game as long as I wanted and waited patiently until I decided to actually face him for real.

“Are you afraid Aika?”  
“Nervous.” I admitted. “I fell asleep in your studio…”

“Twice.” Uta said plainly. "You've had a thousand moments you could have killed me." I looked away from him while I fiddled with his sunglasses. "I'm nervous. It seems unfair for me to be afraid of you. But at the same time I can’t help it.”

“Were you scared? I could have called the CCG any number of times about what I only just suspected.”

“...and they'd have come running without even any real evidence." Uta finished for me. “I wasn’t sure what you’d do…”

“I think other questions can wait though. You are not going to eat me - and I'm not going to report you. I’m tired. You said I had to stay..."  
"And you don’t have to stop eating the eyes in front of me. I've seen people eat worse."  
When he raised his eyebrows; clearly disbelief. I shook my head.

"Don’t look at me like that. There's these bowels of dead squid legs but they start moving again if you pour this salty sauce on them. People eat them while they are still moving." I shivered visibly and shook my head. He didn't argue or question further. He popped the last eye into his mouth and swallowed it down. 

♥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I feel like this is a short chapter. But it seemed like a natural end to it!
> 
> Anyway! Now she knooooooooows!~   
> How will life continue?
> 
> Hope people are still enjoying!~


	8. Chapter 8: Helter Skelter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aika explains a little about her past - and gets to meet Uta's friends!~

Chapter 8:

"I have a couch in my apartment. It's better than the floor." Uta explained as he walked me back past his studio's back door. I found that it led into a hallway and to a set of stairs pointed upwards. I fidgeted as Uta opened the door that lead into his apartment. He held it open and stood aside, waiting for me to go first. "Go on. I won't bite."

Did he really just...? I turned and squinted up at him. That was either a poor choice of words or a joke. I was hedging on it probably being a joke. "That's not funny Uta."  
"Would you prefer I did bite? Stick around here too many times and you might get to witness some cannibalism." I choked and stared wide-eyed at the ghoul. At first I was about to argue that he'd just been eating eyes and that was already cannibalism. However, another thought struck me as I took a few steps into Uta's apartment. Ghouls eating humans wasn't cannibalism if you thought of them as a different species. Which in all fairness was how society treated them. He locked his door behind him, tossed his keys on a table near the door and removed his shoes. I followed suit not wanting to track any dirt in. "When you say cannibalism...you mean ghouls...eating other ghouls?" 

"Yeah. It's pretty common in wards one through five. And ward thirteen is plain scary. There's a lot of bloodshed there. There's such a high concentration of ghouls there they resort to eating each other. It's not too uncommon in this ward either. It's better than it was a few years back though." I couldn't fathom eating another human myself - but somehow the idea that ghouls were not just eating humans but also their own kind was somehow more horrifying.   
Uta pointed at the couch. "You can sleep there." He seemed to notice the look on my face and he tilted his head curiously at me. "You're safe here tonight. I was joking about the cannibalism. It happens...but you won't see any." He didn't seem like he knew just what to do with a human in his apartment but it sounded like he was trying to reassure me regardless. 

"I didn't know ghouls did that…" I frowned looking at the ground sadly.

"You grew up safe in a nice ward. It's no wonder you wouldn't."

"I grew up caged and lied to. I would have happily given up my ‘safe’ cage to be free...” In the end I had done that. I’d escaped and flown straight into the jaws of danger. I’d been so naive and ignorant when I’d first gotten away. My fear of the unknown and my growing puppy had been the only things that kept me safe the first year. In a ward like this lessons were hammered into you fast. The amount of times I’d probably almost gotten eaten, raped or mugged were staggering. Somewhere along the way I’d gotten used to it. Or maybe just numb.

The blank look I was getting made me uncomfortable. “I’m sorry…” I sat down on the couch and slouched back into the comfortable seating with a heavy sigh. “We’re about the same age aren't we?” I fixed him with a scrutinizing glance over. He looked like it. “Imagine this; Think about whatever you were doing around 14 or 15 years of age. Now. At that time I didn’t even know someone like you could exist. A ghoul I mean.”

“How did you not notice? The news isn’t shy about reporting the ‘evils’ of ghouls.” He seemed interested - good. I watched him take a seat on the other side of the couch and lean back. 

“Being caged wasn’t a metaphor for how I felt I was treated Uta. I was being literal. I wasn’t supposed to leave our estate grounds except on special occasions. Like hunting. After they caught me sneaking out they put bars on my windows. I found other ways out as kids with too much time are want to do - but I never stayed out long or hung out with Shuu again in case they caught me and took away ALL of my exits. I guess even then I knew I might need one exit someday. It’s not like they let me go once I was legally an adult.”

“One of those times I was out to get some fresh air. I found Bjorn. I suppose I have a bleeding heart because foolish me picked him up. He was just a puppy and much smaller at the time.” I laughed softly and continued since I had his attention. “...I brought him home. Oh. They were furious. Partly because I’d gotten out again. Something I’m pretty sure they thought was impossible. But I think it was mostly because I'd brought a ‘filthy’ animal into the house. It was my final straw. As you can see I’ve got Bjorn and not my family. I left quickly with just what I could carry and a dog.”

“Pretty big jump from a private estate to your little room you’ve got…don’t miss it?” 

“Not the least bit.” I answered without a moment's hesitation. “I was keeping a look over my shoulder most of the time for a while. I thought they might try to drag me back. Thankfully they don’t seem keen on coming anywhere near the forth ward. Which makes it perfect for hiding from them.” I yawned and rubbed my eyes. My phone read nearly one am when I pulled it from my pocket. Oh… that reminded me.

“Here.” I pulled out Amon’s card. “That one ghoul investigator gave me his card.”

“...Why are you giving it to me?”

“Because...well I thought...” I felt my face heat up while I awkwardly stumbled for my words. “ I thought that I should do everything I can to make sure you know I’m not going to call them. One good turn deserves another, yeah? It’s nice to hear you don’t plan on eating me. I wanted to give it to you so you didn’t think I was planning on calling.” I turned the card around and looked at it more closely. “And it’s also got some of his info on it. I suppose you could use that for later for something like avoiding him.” I held the card back out to Uta insisting he took it. He did finally after some hesitation. He looked down at it; studying it closely.

“Thank you Aika.”

I was tired but I smiled. I couldn’t force myself to admit it out loud but I’d be kind of sad if my artist (ghoul) friend was suddenly killed off or taken away by one of the investigators. I hadn't even really known Uta for long. I was really fucked for getting attached to a ghoul wasn’t I? “Of course. No problem…I’ve got to sleep. Tomorrow I have to start looking for a job and I’ve got no idea where to start. That shop was the last chance I’d found in the area…I was hoping to avoid going to the nearby wards...” I rubbed my hands over my face and sighed out. There was more worries to think about tomorrow...

“Tomorrow you should come with me to meet some friends.” I glanced up from my palms. Yeah I could probably do that. There was only so much applying to jobs someone could do in a single day.

“Are they ghouls?”  
“Yeah. They shouldn’t hurt you…”  
“Shouldn’t…” I said, mildly worried and unconvinced. What guarantee was there in that?  
“They won’t hurt you. But you shouldn’t go around telling people you know. I’m gonna have to let some people know to leave you alone…” He seemed pretty sure that I’d be okay around his friends.

“Will telling people off do anything?” He nodded and added. “Ghouls have territories. Like packs of wolves or gangs.”  
“And this is your territory?”

“It was. I’ve been a bit more laid back in the recent past…”

Now that I thought about it I’d never heard all this time about any ghoul attacks within a few blocks of Hsys ArtMask Studio. I’d always been pretty secure in the knowledge that things just didn’t happen near my house. “That’s why this street is so quiet…”

“Yeah. It’s pretty quiet down my road. You should be careful around Ms.Kirin though.”

“Huh?” 

“Your neighbor.”

“The...the ol’ lady who likes to throw glass bottles? I thought she was just some drunk ol’ grandma. She’s a ghoul? No wonder she just seemed pissed at me when I brought her muffins as a peace offering.” I grumbled. Some guy had published a book about ghouls biology and I’d seen on tv at one point that ghouls couldn’t eat human food. Something about the structure of their tongue or something. Who knows how accurate all that was though.  
“You guys can’t eat human food at all…”

“Wait a second!” I turned to him quickly, my mouth ajar as realization smacked me. “I’m so sorry!!! I kept bringing you those donuts. I thought you just didn’t like the flavor so I kept trying different ones. I thought eventually you’d like one flavor but...” That was obviously impossible with what I knew now.

I stopped as the ghoul chuckled low in his throat. “Yeah…I couldn’t really stop you from buying them. It was a nice thought. I thought it was kind of funny actually. I almost ate one in front of you to try and fool you more. But they really don’t smell good. That sort of thing is a bit like chewing on clay…”

“Oh...ew. That sounds awful. I’m sorry…the coffee though?” It seemed odd to me that they couldn’t eat human food but Uta had gladly taken coffee. He’d definitely seemed happy to get it and drank that down just fine.

“Ghouls can drink coffee. Plain coffee.”   
I laughed softly and shook my head suddenly amused. Uta gave me a peculiar look but I just chuckled harder. When I really thought about it humans had a funny way of showing affection. Giving food to people close to them is just what humans do. It’s common to bring foods from other countries back to your friends and family. At celebrations and holidays we cook and bake sweets or entire feasts.   
And then we do the same thing when we want to make new friends.   
I did it without even thinking! I had wanted Uta to be friends with me and tried to give him 'food'.  
“It’s nothing. It’s nothing. I was just thinking. It was funny I was trying to give you donuts. I don’t think I can bring you anything you can actually eat - sorry.”

“That’s fine Aika.”  
“I’ll meet your friends if you say I’ll be safe.” He nodded and stood up from the couch. “The bathroom is there.” I looked where he pointed at a plain closed door. “My room is down that hall. Knock if you need anything. Goodnight Aika.”

I laid down on the couch getting as comfortable as possible. In my head replayed the scene from downstairs over and over. “She’s all yours” echoed there on repeat. I thought I might be plagued by this all night with no hope for sleep - but at some point I drifted off.

♥

“Aika...Aika-chan….Ai-chan...Aiiiii-chan.” I squinted at the face with red and black eyes in front of me. Clearly this was a dream. I could just close my eyes again and wake up later. I rolled over to face away from the ‘dream man’ and snuggled back up with my face pressed into cushions.  
“Ai-chan. Wake up. It’s getting late. I can hear your dog barking from here.”

“Bjorn…” I muttered barely comprehending. Bjorn would normally jump up and start licking my face eventually to get me up. Sometimes he’d jump up and stand on my stomach painfully if I didn’t listen. Now there was just a man calling for me.   
Just a man.   
A man. Why was there a man?  
I sat up straight, nearly knocking my head into the males. 

“Morning Ai-chan.” Uta said, shortening my name down into a cute nickname and hovering over me as I lay on his couch. What was I doing here and why was Uta here. Did I fall asleep here again by accident? I was caught looking at his eyes again and I remembered what had happened last night. Right. Uta was a ghoul. He was a ghoul but we were friends right?  
He said he wasn’t going to eat me. I said I wasn’t going to report him.

“Uta...sorry. I forgot for a minute where I was…” I was still so tired. This wasn’t the very best place to sleep either - my back hurt as I sat up straighter. Clearly my body didn't appreciate Uta's floor or couch night after night. I could feel a few joints pop and crackle as I moved. “Bjorn is barking?” I couldn’t hear it but maybe he had better hearing. “Yeah. It should be safer for you to leave now...it’s nearly noon.”

“It’s already that late?” Bjorn would be going nuts after I didn’t return last night. He had his food and water bowl so he wasn’t without that at least. But he’d need to be let out for a long walk. “I’ve gotta go.” I stood up and was moving past Uta already to get my shoes. I didn’t even bother untying them but rather shoved my feet into the already tied footwear. “Thank you Uta for letting me stay. Um - text me when you want me to meet your friends okay?” I paused and wondered if there was anything I was missing. I didn’t think I was. “Not going to stay for breakfast?” The ghoul smirked at me.  
“Ha, ha Uta! Very funny! I’ll see you later okay?”

I took the stairs down to Uta’s shop two or three at a time and hurriedly moved out the front door of the business. Once I was out the front door I could hear what the ghoul had pointed out. Bjorn barking madly at my apartment. Sprinting for my door I fumbled for my keys and unlocked it; all the while muttering apologies to my dog about being gone for so long. “It’s okay buddy! I’m back.” He stuffed his head into my chest and stomach and snuffled around for scents. I probably smelled a bit like Uta after spending time at his house.

Before I entered my apartment, shoving Bjorn back inside for the moment I spotted my neighbor watching me carefully. I froze still for a solid couple seconds before relaxing into a faint smile. I raised a hand and waved to the old woman. “Hey Ms. Kirin. How are you doing this morning?”

“...” She never did respond any of the other times I’d tried to talk to her. But at least this time she wasn’t screaming or throwing anything. Actually she hadn’t thrown anything at all since she’d seen Uta walk me home - now that I thought about it. ‘She’s all yours’ sprang to mind. If ghouls could be territorial like he'd said then maybe that was what others would think. He claimed me as part of his 'territory'.

I’m pretty sure that saying was going to fucking haunt me to my dying day.

I collected Bjorns leash and looked down at my clothes. I’d slept in them but I didn’t want to make Bjorn wait longer than I had to. They’d be fine for a dog walk. “Lets go Bear-bear! Let's go for a walk. Yeah! Walk time!” I could barely hook the leash to my dog as he hopped up into the air over and over. Once he was hooked I let him out the door and lay the leash over his back as I locked my door. 

“You finally fixed your door.” I heard a cracking voice of my neighbor. It made me jump a little. She was...talking to me. Uta’s warning not to let anybody else know that I knew rang in my head; and I should probably be wary about talking to her - but I could be cautious and still manage to be friendly. “Y-yeah. The nice gentleman down the road helped me.”

She seemed to nod to herself and looked down at Bjorn who stood at attention fixing my elderly neighbor with a hard stare. “I’m sorry Ms. Kirin if Bjorn was making a lot of noise and kept you up. I hadn’t meant to leave him alone for so long. He gets antsy. Anyway - have a good day!” 

I waved and pulled Bjorn along with me to start our walk. I walked and ran with Bjorn wherever he wanted to go keeping within the 4th ward. He kept us away from the worst of the ward so I trusted him to keep us safe. By the time he wandered back towards home my stomach was growling and my hands shook slightly. I hadn’t eaten in quite a while…

Bjorn paused at Uta’s front door almost like he expected us to stop. “Come on Bjorn. Not today.” He didn’t take long to catch up as I went to my own door and unlocked it to let him in. We’d had a good long walk and he flopped down on his bed tuckered out. I checked my phone and found no messages yet - so I locked my door and decided to get a shower and dressed in something clean. I put on some music and sang along while I showered.

I didn’t know what sort of friends Uta might have, or where he planned on meeting them but I decided I wasn’t going to get too dressed up for it. Not that I had anything super fancy. That sort of thing made me think too much about my old outfits.   
I dressed in jeans, a graphic T-shirt and a hoodie. Plus my usual quad-skate sneakers. Comfortable and functionable.

My stomach growled more angrily about its current state. I took a long hard look at my bank account, my current cash and my food stocks. Without a job it wasn’t a pretty picture to look at. I had just over the amount I needed for rent for the month with only a few yen to spare. I had already bought Bjorn’s food at the beginning of the month so that was covered thankfully. He wouldn’t starve.  
I, on the other hand, was looking at the best case scenario of a ramen pack a day for a week.  
I may be able to scrounge up enough to buy more ramen...but I’d be on the cusp of starvation the entire time. I could cook it with extra water and it would make me feel fuller - but it would only be a temporary fix.  
“Fuck…” 

It’s okay. Stay calm. Everything will be fine. I’ve been through leaner times right? How about when I first ran away? I didn’t eat a thing for nearly a week back then- I’d learned to steal the next week after that but I still lived. I’d survived and even fed Bjorn back then. I just needed to find a job before I had to resort to anything illegal. In the meantime I couldn’t go to meet Uta’s friends with my stomach growling. 

I heated water in the microwave until it steamed hot vaper. Breaking a ramen pack in half and using half a pack of seasoning I made a very thin ramen ‘soup’ by letting it cook in the over-hot water. While it sat and eventually cooled enough to eat, I hid the other half of the pack in my little pantry cupboard. 

My food tasted terrible. The ramen packs already sucked on a normal day - but watered down it tasted bland and lifeless. I basically inhaled the ‘food’. Thankfully even though it didn’t really fill me, the meal did put the near constant rumblings of my stomach on hold.

After my meal I checked my phone and saw I had a text from Uta telling me he’d swing by my front door near 7pm. I checked the time and saw I had about two hours before then. I sent back a message.

Aika: Okay. Knock loudly incase job search puts me to sleep. Zzzz! 

By the time I heard a knock at the door my head ached from the eye strain from staring at my phone's screen. I had typed up so many applications that my hand’s joints stuck from holding the small device too tightly. There was a shocking number of employers who seemed to have automatic rejection letters just waiting to crush someone’s hopes.

I stood up and went to the door. I didn’t open it right away; looking through the peephole to make sure it was actually my expected friend. I’d almost gotten into trouble before when I hadn’t checked.

“I’ll be just a minute Uta.” I called through the door and saw him nod from the peephole.  
Before I left for the night I drank a cup of water to fill my stomach. It was empty with no value in fixing the problem - but it would do. I grabbed a small bag and grabbed my mask Uta made; placing it inside I strapped it around my shoulders. Maybe his friends would like to see his work?

“Bjorn stay. Good Boy…” I unlocked my door, stepped out and re-locked it behind me. “Hey.”  
Uta was examining me carefully. “There something on my face?” I asked jokingly, a hand passing over my cheek. I half expected there to be something there with the way he was watching me. “No. You just look...tired I suppose. How was the job search?”

“Ongoing. I hope your friends don’t hate me. I don’t think I can take too many more rejections today…” I sighed out feeling a bit bitter. I pocketed my keys and forced myself to smile at Uta. “So where are we headed?”

“14th ward. My friend has a bar. We’re meeting up there.” He started to walk towards the subway station and I followed; quickly catching up and walking along side. I caught my neighbor looking out of her front window as we passed by. I wondered what she thought of myself traveling with Uta. In all likelihood...she probably assumed I was food.

I took a steadying breath. “Ms. Kirin talked to me earlier…She was remarking on my door being fixed now. I think it’s the first thing she actually said to me that wasn’t some unhappy grumbling or screaming.”  
Uta glanced towards me. I couldn’t read what he was thinking. “You didn’t say anything did you?”

“I remembered you said to be careful. I only said that ‘some nice guy’ down the street helped me fix the door.” I said, shrugging. “And apologized for Bjorn's barking...he was getting quite loud.” He nodded and looked forward again. “I didn’t see any point in trying to ignore her...that would just be rude.”

One subway trip later and we were in the 14th ward. I wasn’t sure about the condition of the ward, but I stuck close to Uta. “So how is this ward compared to the 4th?”  
“It’s not very safe for people around here. Lately there’s been a few cases of cannibalism.” I looked around us. I must have been obviously concerned because Uta added. “We’re not far from the bar..”

He was strangely relaxed even in a ward that he knew other ghouls would cannibalize other ghouls. Shouldn’t that mean we were both technically in danger here - but he seemed entirely unconcerned.

We turned a corner and I could see the flickering sign of a bar front. Helter Skelter was the name according to the sign. Had to give them props for coming up with a cool name for a bar. Uta opened the door and ushered me into the bar. Compared to the street outside, it was nicely lit and warm. Inside I could see two other people already here. Both turned to look at us as we entered. I raised a hand, giving them a nervous wave and a smile. “Um. Hi.”

Uta sat right down on the end leaving the space next to him open. I took it not wanting to be separated to far from the one ghoul I did know. The woman behind the counter was shockingly beautiful. Long red hair and a pretty face. She lit up with happy energy as soon as she looked me over. “Oh U-kun! This is your friend you were talking about? She’s…”  
“She knows. Aika, this is Itori. Itori. This is Aika. That guy over there is Renji.”

The silver haired ghoul named Renji turned and fixed myself and Uta with a stern look. “This must be the woman Yoshimura said you brought to Anteiku…”  
“So you know about U-kun and us...” Itori glanced briefly from Uta to myself a few times. Had Uta not given them a bit of a warning before bringing me? “Well, we’re all ghouls here - cept’ you - so I suppose we can talk plainly.”

She was pouring glasses and set them in front of herself, Uta and Renji. “I’ll make you a coffee if you want one...this isn’t for the human customers.” She winked and smiled. “Unless you want to try it!” She giggled when I shook my head. The liquid in the glasses looked - and smelled - like blood. “No. I didn’t think so!”

“I don’t need coffee either. I’m fine.” I shook my head, smiling as I thought of my nearly empty wallet and bank account. “Thanks anyway.”

“Oh, alright then. So! How’d you figure out Uta hum? Or did he just tell you?”  
I thought back to every little piece that made me suspect. There had been a lot. His sunglasses alone had almost exclusively been his ‘disguise’. Those had hidden his eyes. 

“She accidentally overheard a delivery…” Uta supplied for me when I’d hesitated for too long. “Oh? Oh yeah I suppose that would do it.” I glanced from the other two ghouls to Uta. “You both have normal eyes though…”

“Oh! Yeah! Of course. See?” She blinked and opened her eyes to show the typical ghoulish eyes I was used to from the mask artist. Another blink and she was back to normal grinning at my face as I stared; mouth agape. “Oh no! Ai-chan! I’m sorry did I scare you?”  
“N-no. No you didn’t.” I laughed nervously. “I guess I wasn’t prepared for your eyes to change. Uta’s are always the same.”

“Yeah scary aren't they?” Itori smiled and laughed again, clearly this was the expected answer. “Never could get him to stop and put them away.”  
“They’re not scary!” I argued without thinking. I had their attention now though and my face heated up as I blushed. “I mean, I think they're kinda cool…” I hazarded a glance at the ghoul in question. Funny - I couldn’t imagine him with ‘normal’ eyes. What color would they have even been? Brown, blue? Maybe green. I’d already gotten used to the black and red and everything else would seem wrong.

“Well that’s a first..” Itori said more softly, her eyes were on her drink. She looks like she was thinking about something fondly. “Haven’t heard of a human liking our Kakugan before.”  
I didn’t know that word. “Kakugan?” 

She pointed to her eye. “It’s the name for the eye when it’s active. Most of the time it’s when we feel threatened or are hungry. Uta’s has always been that way as long as I remember. Even back when he had blonde hair!”  
"Hold up…" Blonde? I looked sharply at Uta and stared with a critical eye. No. Just no. How would that even work? "I can't imagine that…not in a million years. You're talking about this goth boy here? This one?” I said pointing at Uta; a smile curling on my lips as I saw Itori’s eyes go wide. I laughed easily as I saw the room of people got a chuckle out of it - even stern Renji seemed to chuckle. “Oh I have a few pictures!”

“Do you!? Can I see?” Excitedly I stood up; eyes shining at the idea of seeing young Uta. Blonde. Still couldn’t imagine it. “I don’t have them here but I’ll bring them in and show you next time you visit! You’ll be back right?!” I nodded almost immediately. If she was asking then I could only assume I was wanted and welcome back. I had been so worried that Uta’s ghoul friends wouldn’t like me.  
“Yeah, maybe when Uta comes sometime. I don’t know if it’s a good idea to come alone. I don’t really know this ward much.” Itori nodded sagely while Renji spoke up. “That would be wise. It’s surprising enough that you survive in the 4th ward.” I nodded. It was purely luck that got me this far. Luck, some hard lessons learned and my overprotective dog. “You get used to it.” I added with a shrug.

“You could probably move out of the 4th ward. Head up to the 20th. It’s a lot quieter up there…” It had looked really nice when I’d gone up to see that Cafe but that had its own concerns. A nicer neighborhood meant I was much more likely to run into someone who knew my family - and that my family might come after me. All these years later - and I am still worried they might still try to bring me back under their wings.  
“Nah. I think I’m good. Like I said - you get used to it. I’d hate to move away from someplace I’ve grown accustomed too. Thanks for the concern though.” I smiled and even though my stomach was starting to clench with hunger again I felt quite happy. These ‘monsters’ of society were actually pretty nice all things considered. 

Uta had even said he was going to put out some kind of word to others to make sure I was left alone.  
“Oh yeah, I brought the mask Uta made me!” I turned to Uta, he looked a little surprised until I added. “Should I show them? You did a really great job with it!”

“Yes! Show me! I wanna see it!” I laughed as Itori leaned far over the bar. She was such an excitable woman. I gave Uta a glance to see what he had to say about it, but he just shrugged. That was as much encouragement as I needed; as long as he didn’t stop me from showing it off. I pulled open my pack and pulled out the mask. It was just as beautifully eerie as always. I brushed the fur through my finger tips; staring down at it fondly. I held it up for the others to see.

“Oh wow…” Itori breathed out; her hands lifted and hovered to take the mask from me only to stop a few inches away. I placed the mask in her waiting hands and grinned. It was nice showing it off to some people. I didn’t feel quite so silly about gawking at the mask when I could see other people doing the same. “Yeah...isn’t it amazing.” I playfully nudged the artist and grinned. “You're a really great artist!”

I relaxed as the conversation drifted to what I had to assume was their usual chatter and comfortable silences. It had been pretty easy for the most part to completely forget they were all ghouls. Eventually it was time to go when Uta tapped my shoulder. “It’s getting late. Lets head back.”

“Right! Sure!” I turned away from Uta back towards his friends. “It was nice to meet you two! I’ll see you some other time!”  
“Stay safe Ai-chan!!!” Itori called out in a friendly tone as I walked out of the bar with Uta. Once we were out of earshot again I spoke up. “I like them. Itori seems super sweet. Much more - um - bubbly than I am. But she seems fun!” 

“And Renji?” Uta asked, this tone made it sound like he was genuinely curious about my opinion.  
I thought about the silver haired male and hummed out softly. “I can’t quite get a read on him. He seems a little grumpy. At first I was afraid he was actually the most judgmental about you bringing me to meet them. Did you even give them a warning?"

"Nope." He said simply, a small smile tugging at his lips.  
"Uta! You gotta warn people before you spring possibly upsetting things on them!"

"It turned out alright. They liked you." I supposed it had turned out alright despite Uta's lack of warning. Then again maybe he had done the right thing. They could have been more on guard if they'd had a warning.

"I still can't imagine you with blond hair though! I can hardly wait to see a photo!"


	9. Chapter 9: Faint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aika needs to learn to ask for help when she needs it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been having extra work shifts & doubles! Been busy.
> 
> Also - in case anybody forgot. Aika has a pre-established friendship in the past with Shuu Tsukiyama!~ *jazz hands*
> 
> Every comment motivates me!!! ♥ Thank you!!!
> 
> Doodle at the end of three years before - and current!~ Because doodles! ☺

Chapter 9:

I woke up filled with hunger pangs radiating from my empty stomach. It had been two days since I’d gone to the bar with Uta and so far had no luck with my search for a job. I curled up on my side and pressed my face into a pillow. Bjorn came to my side and nudged his giant head into my back. He knew something was up with me and I was in pain - dog instinct I suppose. “It’s okay Bjorn. I’ll be fine.” I muttered to him; reaching to scratch behind one of his ears.

I just had to push myself to get up and go about my day. The hunger could be a reminder and motivation. It was important for me to find a job! I got Bjorns food for the day - my stomach protested doing this. One definitely knows they are on the edge of starvation when raw meat was actually looking appetizing. Chicken. Pork. Beef. I shook my head trying to clear the idea. After he was done eating I took the dog on a walk. It wasn’t a long walk but Bjorn didn’t complain. When we got back he went to his bed and watched me carefully move around the room with slight tremors shaking my limbs.

I spent most of the day fighting off sleepiness. The rest of the time I applied for jobs, tried a few phone interviews and struggled with the urge to make all the damn ramen. It was so tempting to just cook it all up and scarf it all down at once. I had enough self control to realize that would leave me without food completely in the future though. 

When my phone buzzed I looked at it hoping for an answer to an application. I felt guilty but for a moment I was disappointed to see it was Uta texting me rather than an invitation for an interview.

Uta: Want to come to the bar with me again? Itori has those pictures.  
Aika: I don’t think I can - I’ve been applying to jobs all day. I’m completely wiped out.

Going to see those pictures sounded like fun - but I was afraid I’d end up curled up with stomach cramps the entire time. Or worse hangry. At the moment I did not want to explain my situation. Imagine that conversation: 'The human couldn't even feed herself, and she dosn't even need to kill people to eat.' This was pathetic...

Aika: Maybe later this week? (ᇴ‿ฺᇴ) Hopefully she can bring them another day...  
Uta: I’ll see if I can send you a picture of them. Still nothing?  
Aika: Thanks! Sadly no. I’ll be fine though. Say hi to Itori and Renji! ♥

I laid my phone down and stayed where I was; laying face down on my futon/bed. I didn’t have the energy to get up and do much. That’s why I kept Bjorn’s walks short lately. Without proper food my body was resorting to trying to sleep to keep as much energy as possible.

I’d already exhausted my options in the 4th ward. 

Some of the listings I found on the jobs sites were for CCG officers. Apart from the field officers there were positions as office workers and that sort of thing. It was all just filing papers. Pencil pushers and book keeping. I looked at those jobs carefully. I might have considered it a few weeks ago. However now after meeting Uta and his friends...it felt like a betrayal to apply to any of them. Even working in the office where I wouldn’t directly be hurting ghouls.  
I'd just be a cog in a wheel that might hurt my new friends one day...

In addition to filtering out CCG jobs, I had to pick out the jobs that seemed like either scams or worse the type that were meant to lure someone out into a bad ward and then kidnap them. Or eat them. It didn’t leave many good options.

I couldn’t even get excited as I stood up to make food for the day. The half portion of ramen only helped minimally and left me feeling hungrier than before soon after. It would kick start my metabolism into full gear and expected to be fed more. At this point I think all it was doing was making sure my body didn't completely shut down. I watched the noodles soften into the edible soup and cool down to a temperature that wouldn’t burn my mouth. I made myself eat it slowly - that was supposed to fill a person up better than inhaling food as quickly as possible.  
Whoever said that hadn't considered the person eating was starving. That was a whole lot of BS.  
When I was done 'eating' I cleaned up the bowl and utensils and returned to bed. Laying in a dark room with my stomach filled with a little ramen and water I could manage to drift off back to sleep and hope that tomorrow I’d see at least one interview invitation in my emails.

♥

A normal person would have asked for help from their friends by now, right? Maybe their family? They would have begged if it was necessary to end their pain. But who would I have gone to? My family? Out of the question. Uta: the ghoul and his friends? He had nothing I could possibly eat. Plus how could I ask for help getting food when I knew I would never be able to do the same for him.  
It wasn’t his problem that I was starving and getting sick.

I almost missed my boss now - regretted bashing him over the head. Maybe if he’d gotten home safe I’d still have a job. Maybe I wouldn't be so hungry now.  
I checked my phone for updates almost obsessively. However I only got replies from the sketchiest of places. There was one ‘job’ in the 13th ward that I didn’t trust to respond too. It was almost certifiably a trap.

I couldn’t get enough energy to get up from the bed today until Bjorn forced me up while whining. I could only manage to walk him around the block, following the dog along like a half-dead zombie.

♥

Another day passed and I was now officially down to a single full pack of ramen. I could feel that I was getting sicker. Lack of food only made my body weak and vulnerable. I had missed text messages from Uta and hadn’t remembered to answer. He probably thought I was ignoring him for some reason. I wanted to answer. I really did. But how could I turn away another request to go see his friends nicely?

I got up to walk Bjorn. It was the only thing I could force myself to do each day. The poor dog was absolutely a wreck of worry about me. “You’re a good boy Bjorn. Let's go for a walk okay?” I smiled as the dog hopped about. Worried or not; the pup really couldn't resist a walk. I smiled down weakly at Bjorn as he bounded around me. Some of his energy was infectious and I actually almost felt better watching him move so energetically.

I wasn’t paying any attention to where I was going. My attention span was pretty short these last couple of days. “Hey Bjorn. Hold on a minute…” I panted and leaned on a wall like a crutch to catch my breath. The world's colors looked dull and lifeless and I couldn’t process why I was out of breath. I’d only been walking but It felt like I'd run a marathon all of a sudden. I could see ahead of me. Bjorn stopped heading forward and came bouncing back towards me and slid to a halt.  
He was barking...but it sounded really far away.  
As I watched uncomprehending, the world turned sideways,went quiet and faded out to black. 

♥

I blinked my eyes rapidly as I tried to get a hang of my situation. The last thing I remembered was leaving the house. I was out walking Bjorn and then everything went sideways. Now I was on the ground. Where was my dog? Was I attacked? If I was attacked why was I still alive? Was he okay?

There was the sound of distant dog barks.  
Bjorn was nowhere near me.  
Maybe the barking was him?  
He’d left me alone here?  
Where had he gone...?

Then the barking stopped.  
I closed my eyes; fading in and out of consciousness.

“Aika?” I drifted out of my unconscious state when I felt someone’s hands on me; turning me over to lay on my back. I groaned - a mix of pain and annoyance. I didn’t want to be turned over. My stomach hurt more when I was on my back. I grimaced; my stomach reprimanded me again for my lack of food. How dare I neglect eating it howled at me.  
I felt a gentle tapping on my cheek. Whoever it was that found me was annoying. Why wouldn't they just let me sleep? I just wanted to sleep - it hurt less. I heard them lean over me and pull in a few sniffs. I couldn’t even be bothered to remark again how weird it was. When there was more tapping on the other cheek I finally opened my eyes to squint up at the person.  
I was met with familiar red and black eyes and an emotionless expression. “Uta? Where’d you come from...Bjorn ran off and…” At the mention of the dog he pushed past Uta and licked my face. I pushed the slobbering dog away from my face and grimaced. “Oh...there he is.”

With time I was starting to get a clearer picture in my head now of what had happened to me.

“Come’on. I got you…Aika, are you hurt?”  
I felt hands wrap around under me and then I was lifted up off the ground. I wanted to argue that I could stand and walk myself but I didn't actually know for sure. I might pass out again if I tried that. Reluctantly I resigned to being carried. I just rested my head under his chin looking at the ‘Nεχ’ of his tattoo over his throat.  
“No.” I said softly. “I think I just passed out…did Bjorn go get you?”

“Yeah. He was barking at my door. He practically dragged me away..."  
"Sorry..." I said without thinking. "He can be a pain when he wants something..."  
"You didn’t answer my text messages…”

How could I answer that?  
'I'm sorry Uta. I was sick but only because I’d been deprived of food for too long and had been too proud to ask for help.' If I just got food again I’d probably feel better pretty quickly. This wasn’t a hard situation to fix. I couldn't say that though; not any of it. I just couldn't. "Sorry...Haven't felt well..."  
I could see the alleyways moving past as he walked back towards our street. My brain felt foggy and unresponsive; The swaying of being held and walking lulled me back off to sleep.

♥

When I woke up again I was not at my apartment. Nor was it Uta's from the looks of the style. I was honestly at a loss of where I was located. The room smelled good though. Like warm fresh bread and clean laundry. I sat up - my stomach was still empty and the smell motivated me more than anything else probably could have. I was alone laying on an unfamiliar sofa. Waking up in unfamiliar places was starting to grow old. Thankfully Bjorn was with me this time.  
He sat up beside me to stare at me intently.  
Then he barked straight in my face a few times. It felt like I was being reprimanded by my own dog. While I was confused at first my understanding set in after I heard footsteps outside the rooms door.

A gentle knock at the door prepared me for someone's entrance.  
"Mr. Yoshimaru...?" The cafe owner from when Uta brought me to the 20th ward. That must mean that Uta had brought me all the way to the 20th ward. I wondered briefly how strange it had looked for the neo-goth man to be carrying my punk rock ass around while unconscious.

Mr. Yoshimaru smiled in that typical kindly elderly way. "Hello Ms. Aika." He sat a cup of hot coffee and a plate of fresh biscuits in front of me. "Sir I can't---" I started but never got a chance to finish. "Don't worry about it Ms. Aika. And please...eat the food. You worried your friend." 

"Uta? Did he bring me here?" That was a stupid question; of course he did. He'd found my dumb ass in an alleyway and brought me here rather than home for some reason.  
"He did indeed. He lacked anything to give you. Food or medicine - as I'm sure you know." I blinked owlishly at the old man. Uta's warning not to tell anybody hovered in the back of my mind. "What do you…?" I trailed off as the old man cracked his eyes open to reveal kakugan. "O-oh…"

"This isn't normally the conversation I have to have with humans. But why weren't you eating properly? You almost made yourself quite sick…Please. Eat while we talk."

I reached for a biscuit and tried to keep my calm; eat it slowly. I could at least keep some dignity and resist shoving them all into my mouth as quickly as possible. That was definitely what I wanted to do at the moment. Briefly I even wondered how many I could shove in my face at once.

"Well I lost my job a week or so ago…It's kinda hard to afford a place to live and still eat well..."

He watched me and nodded. "Ah, I see. I think I understand your situation. You were not starving yourself on purpose...I am happy to hear that. When he brought you in I had concerns. But you have friends?" I felt like I was being scrutinized carefully. Uta and I were friends. I was pretty sure about that. But we were also fairly new friends with his secret kinda fresh between us. It felt like something that would ordinarily get me killed. Actually for that matter the ol' Man was a ghoul too. 

"Why would you not ask for help?" 

I flinched and watched the ground in front of my feet. "I'm sorry Ms. Aika. I don't mean to scare you or make you uncomfortable."

Why did all these ghouls apologize for scaring me? "No you didn't...it's just embarrassing. You scolding me like this reminds me of my Uncle."

I heard him chuckle and looked up to see he was smiling. Despite my initial reservations, I didn't feel threatened at all here. Maybe it was because Uta had asked for my safety? Or Just because this old man had no ill will towards me; I didn't know.  
Yoshimaru looked out the window for a minute, letting me eat a little more before speaking up again. "Uta isn't the type of ghoul I would have thought would bring a human here for help. Or allow one, human like you, to be so close. Yet he seemed concerned when he brought you. He trusted you with his identity. That being the case - Why wouldn't you confide in him and ask for help?"

I lowered my head unable to look him in the face. It was embarrassing and awkward. My friendship with Uta and knowing about him was still a new and recent thing. I wasn’t sure exactly how to act - or where there might be invisible barriers. "Honestly Sir...I felt awkward about going to a ghoul for help with food...I can't...I don't think he'd expect for me to help him in that regard. So I'd never expect…" I trailed off and nibbled on the biscuit in my hand. I could never expect help from a ghoul in regards to food.

And yet here I am eating biscuits given to me by a ghoul cafe manager. Weird right?

I chewed and swallowed my food and shrugged. "I'd feel pretty stupid. A human unable to take care of themselves? I mean food is easier for me to get than for Ghouls right? I can’t even manage that?"

"...Pride. I suppose. I didn't want to admit I needed help." I admitted. It was painful to admit that I actually did needed help. I'd lasted three whole years in the 4th ward doing everything on my own! That was impressive; right?

I heard movement and I looked up again to see the cafe manager had stood up and was smiling happily down at me. "I know someone who is a bit like you in that regard. Like them you should confide in your friends more. You'll find people might be more willing to help you than you think."

"Maybe. Is Uta still here?"

The manager shook his head and frowned. “No...He isn't.” He paused to mull over his next words carefully. “Uta left to get some ‘food’ for himself. I’m afraid he doesn't eat like we do at Anteiku.”

'Food' was obviously human. I had to accept that. I think I had. But why was Yoshimura being so awkward about it? “Sir...I know what ‘food’ is for ghouls. What do you mean he doesn't eat like you do?”

He folded his hands behind his back and nodded. “Here at Anteiku, we eat the unfortunate humans who decide there is nothing more for them in this world. They decide to leave this world before their time. This allows us a relatively guilt free lifestyle. In other words we don’t need to kill here.”

Suicide victims. I must have looked shocked because he frowned. “Are you okay Ms. Aika? I'm sorry if that was too much ---”  
“No, yeah. I’m fine. I guess it’s only shocking because I never even thought of that as a plausible option...it's actually pretty smart sir. That’s probably why it’s so nice in this area. Peaceful.”

“Yes I suppose we can take some of the credit from that.” He chuckled gently then continued. “Uta and yourself live in the 4th ward. As I’m sure you know it’s less peaceful there and there is no ‘Anteiku’ there to supply ghouls with a more peaceful option. The ghouls like Uta who do live there hunt to survive. Unfortunately it is the majority of ghouls that do this.”

I knew this already. “I don’t want to upset you Ms. Aika. I just wanted to make sure you were aware.”  
“I already assumed he hunted for his food. I hadn’t even considered there was another way honestly. It’s not like morgues are handing out body parts on the regular...” Although that wasn’t a terrible idea. Government run organ and body donors. When an organ couldn’t be used to save a human - put a donor into a ‘food’ bank for ghouls? There would have to be those consenting to that if it meant peace right? There were other options the whole world could have ----

“Ms. Aika? Are you okay?” Mr. Yoshimura looked concerned as he leaned down to my level. “Y-yeah. S-sorry sir. Just thinking. I’m still a little spacey…” And still hungry as hell. I picked up another biscuit and began munching.  
“Is Uta coming back here after?”

“Hum. Yes I believe he would. When he dropped you off…” Yoshimura paused and chuckled as if he'd found something funny. “He doesn't have that much contact with humans from what I know Ms. Aika. As I’m sure you’ve noticed his behavior is a little more…”

“Ghoulish…?”  
“Yes. He gets human customers once in a while. However it’s much less than we have in Anteiku. He didn’t know exactly what was wrong with you, Ms. Aika. Just that you’d grown weak and fainted. Human starvation is a little different from Ghouls you see. Walking into a hospital can be a dangerous thing for a ghoul though.” So instead he'd brought me someplace where he thought they'd know what was wrong with me. That made sense. If Yoshimura and his employees were in contact with humans all the time then they'd have a better understanding of them; us. Me.

“I will bring you more food. You don’t need to stop eating those. I wanted to make sure you could stomach something though before I brought you some with more substance.” At his words I picked up another biscuit and started to eat it; I wasn’t going to argue.

“But yes; Uta will be back I believe. After he’s gotten his own meal. You have been fairly lucky today Ms. Aika…”  
There was a knock on the door and a girl with purple hair popped her head in. Touka was her name if I remembered. She stopped to glare at me like I’d just insulted her and then turned to the manager. “Sir, they're back...and ‘he’s’ here too. I don’t like how he’s been eyeing Kaneki…”

“I’ll be right there Touka. Thank you.” He turned back to me and smiled. “Why don’t you come out front and I’ll make you some sandwiches and as much coffee as you like dear. It seems Uta and Yomo have both returned.”  
I didn’t know who ‘Yomo’ was but Uta I did. I stood up a little shaky and picked up my remaining biscuits on the plate and my coffee. Bjorn lept up to his feet happy to follow me diligently wherever I went. “Bjorn didn’t give you guys any trouble did he?” I looked down at the dog and scrutinized him carefully. He only looked up at me with innocent eyes.

“He was perfectly behaved. Though he wasn’t happy to have a few of our number near you.”  
I sighed and nodded. Bjorn may never like ghouls - but at least he could and would tolerate some. He’d even run and got one - Uta - to help me. 

I walked with the manager out of the room and down the stairs to the main floor of Anteiku. Uta and Renji sat at the counter both drinking coffee while Touka was cleaning. I sat down next to them with my plate of biscuits and my coffee. “Hey.” I muttered shoving a biscuit in my face.

“You’re up. Feeling better?”  
I nodded; my mouth still full of bread. I glanced at the manager who tipped his head towards us. “It’s up to you to tell him what’s wrong Ms. Aika…” He expected me to tell Uta? Hadn’t he said anything before?

I swallowed hard on the mouthful of bread and coughed. “Y-you didn’t say anything to him?”  
“It was your health. I wasn’t going to divulge anything. A young woman should have some privacy.” He went on making a cup of coffee like he hadn’t made it sound like I was dying or something else embarrassing!

“He is making it sound so much worse off…” I muttered. “What’s wrong with you? Are you sick?” Uta stared at me from over his coffee.  
“No. I’m not sick Uta. Awe geez. It's just... embarrassing.” I lowered my head to hide my face agaist the counter. If only I could just melt into a puddle and disappear.

“You know I lost my job…” I started, feeling he was still watching me closely. “Well...I have to pay for my house and Bjorn’s food. With no job now I’m kinda broke...and haven't exactly….been eating.”

“So I guess I’ve been getting kinda weaker over the last week or so...and passed out on a dog walk. Bjorn came and got you. And you know the rest.” I looked up long enough to shove a biscuit into my face again but couldn't brave even a glance at my ghoul-friend. At least with food in my mouth I could stop myself from saying anything else stupid.  
There was too much silence for too long. Wasn’t he going to say something? Anybody one else say anything? Anything at all?  
I chewed my food and swallowed it down.

“Sorry for ignoring your texts. I didn’t know how to tell you no to another visit or outing at the bar. I had fun - but I didn’t want to go when I was tired and in pain…” I glanced up intending on continuing my apology but froze solid when I saw him looking at me. Those eyes of his were piercing.

“You were starving and didn’t say anything…?”

“No I...I didn’t want to ask you for help with something like that...I can’t help with your - um…’groceries’...” I flinched as the manager placed a little plate chalk full of sandwiches in front of me. “There you are Ms. Aika.”  
"Thanks Sir..."

"No. I suppose not…" Uta said, peeling his eyes from me and looking at his coffee.  
"It's not like you'd just have human food sitting around I could have." I smiled weakly at the ghoul hoping that he wasn't upset by my lack of communication.

I heard a ‘humf’ behind me and turned to see Touka giving me a stare down. “Touka. I’ve talked to you about this…”  
“She shouldn’t be here Sir! She knows us now - all of our faces. Not just one or two of us either...Yomo, Uta. You and me! All of us. How are you all okay with this?” She pointed at me accusingly. “She’s fine Touka.” Uta said looking over his shoulder at her.

I only sunk down in my seat and tried to be small. I felt small. I could feel the rooms tension and heard Bjorn's low growl next to me - his head turned towards Touka. I set a hand on him and patted him. "Enough Bjorn…it's okay." 

"Ooh! And what is this little spat about? Dear Touka, what's got your feathers ruffled all of a sudden!?"  
I glanced around looking for that familiar voice in a state of shock. Was that..? Couldn't be.

"Shuu?" I looked around Uta and spotted him. Seated in his casual elegance was my old friend. He'd grown up quite a lot but it was still him. Without a doubt. "Shuu!" I said more sure of myself - and pleased. Despite what Uta had told me about him. At the sound of his first name called out in a familiar tone he looked and finally saw me. I could see the gears churning in his head as he struggled to recognize me. It wasn't any wonder why he wouldn't - I looked quite different.

I could see the lights switch on when he did realize who I was. He dropped his book, letting the page close without saving it with a bookmark and stood up.  
"Princesse!!! Is that you!? Oh mon! It is!"

I could see Uta stiffen as the french speaking ghoul walked over to us and greeted me with his usual excited tone. "Hey Shuu...it's good to see you. Been a while."

"You disappeared for years Ma chérie and that's what you say!?" He laughed and covered his face with a hand. Dramatic as always. "I thought you were gone for good when I never heard from you again. It saddened my heart!"

"But here you are! You look…" He did a look over and raised an eyebrow. Clearly he had some issues with my new style but was trying to resist from saying anything too insulting. "I finally left my parents home Shuu. I disappeared because they figured out I was climbing out the window and put bars on them. Imagine that. Actual bars! BARS! Like a prison!" 

"Oh dear. I had no idea! I would have come rescued you, Ma chérie! I see you have flown from your tower Princesse! How long have you been free?"  
"Three years." I waved a hand. "And before you say anything; I wasn't going to bother you after years apart. I don't have any connections with my family anymore…" 

"Princesse! I would have taken you in and helped you! Anything for my dear friend!" He tried to step closer to me in a sweeping gesture. I laughed but was cut short when Renji stood up between me and Shuu; stopping him from approaching me closer. I could see the lines in both his and Uta's faces tense.  
"Hum? Pardon me Monsieur."

"Renji, he's an old friend. I knew him as a kid." I smiled calmly as Renji threw me an odd look. I added. "I know from Uta who he is."  
"Oh those nasty rumors!" Shuu regarded me with a careful look now.  
"Yeah. Those rumors. It's fine Shuu…" I held out my pinky finger towards him and waited; echoing and old promise we'd made as kids. "Still friends...right?"

His worry seemed to melt off his face in a moment; seeing my outstretched finger. "Of course Ma chérie!!!!!" He side stepped Renji who did let him pass reluctantly and hooked his own pinky with mine. We both laughed. I felt like a teenager again. The more things changed - the more they stayed the same.  
"Toujours! Though I guess Princesse...you know my little secret now!" He pulled away and waggled a finger at me; a small smile touched his lips. "I never would have expected you to fall into this sort of crowd!"

"Yeah I suppose! Kinda a weird turn of fate - I am stuffing my face with biscuits in a ghoul cafe though." I turned to Touka who was watching us with bewilderment and anger. "Touka…" I said gently; I wanted her to understand. "I'm not going to tell anyone least of all the CCG about any of you. My friends are ghouls. Even one of my oldest friends." I gestured at Shuu. "...there's no way I'd give up that for a pat on the head from the CCG."

"Hell...they might even be upset with me at this point. They could say I knew all along. Make me a villain if it helped their story…And I've know about Uta for over a week now. And suspected before that…" If I'd planned on reporting him then I could have already. 

I took a bite out of my plate of sandwiches and paused. "OhmyGod!!! These are so good!"

I teared up as I took another bite. Maybe it was because my body was still in starvation mode; but the food tasted divine. Yoshimaru laughed and smiled at me. "Thank you. We don't have much taste for such things. It's good to hear that it's acceptable to a human pallet." He was looking at Touka even as he spoke. She had her hands clenched at her sides and fixing me with a glare.

"Fine. Fine." She finally said - throwing a rag into a water bucket and marching off. She really didn't like me; I hoped she'd come around at some point.  
I fell into easy conversation with Shuu. Catching up little by little while I could see Uta sending me looks. I kept his warning in the back of my head. As much as I wanted to share every little thing to Shuu like I use to; I had to be careful.  
I didn't give him too many specifics about where I lived or liked to be.  
One good thing with Shuu was it was fairly easy to get him to talk about himself. He got really into telling me about flowers and their many meanings while I munched on sandwiches and drank as much coffee as I could fit into my stomach.


	10. Chapter 10:

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Couldn't think of a title for this one! Been busy with life this week!  
> But here you go! Chapter 10! Continuing were we left off.
> 
> Sorry if it's a little scatterbrained! XD

Shuu had left after some time. I could have spent more time listening about everything he had to tell me about his life since I'd last seen him. He had this interesting tale about this human girl he'd met who liked to take pictures. Shockingly he allowed it! He called her little mouse. It was kind of cute. However - Apparently he had some other business elsewhere tonight. He gave me a phone number in case I ever wanted to meet up. Much to everyone else's obvious chagrin the gourmet ghoul hugged me goodbye and kissed each of my cheeks.

"Bye bye, Ma Cherie!"

“See ya, Shuu!" I said, already typing the name and number into my cellphone's contacts.

I watched him leave and smiled fondly. Out of all things, this was one part of my old life I didn't mind coming back to me. "I told you we were old friends." I said turning to Uta. It wasn't Uta who spoke up first though. Mr Yoshimura took my now empty plate and gave me a new cup of coffee. I would have to try and pay him back sometime after I got a job again. For now I was eternally grateful. "Ms. Aika, That was unexpected. You have quite a few surprising friends it seems. He was a childhood friend if I understood correctly? Forgive me for overhearing your conversations."

I waved off his apology. Of course they had all listened in. With Shuu’s reputation as a Gourmet I had to assume they would. It seemed like they had an interest in my continued survival - which was kind of nice. " I didn't know he was a ghoul back then; but it's nice to see him again." I could see a small visible frown on my other friends face from the corner of my eye. Was Uta worried Shuu would try something? He’d been very quiet all night since I’d regained consciousness.

"Ms. Aika. I believe you need a job; was that right?" The cafe manager dragged my attention away from Uta once again. I took a moment to reconnect to reality and nodded. "Yes Sir…? I’ve been looking all week. A lot either seem like traps or CCG jobs." I frowned and made myself busy fiddling with a string that hung off my shirt. 

"Hum. Alright. Then why don't you come here Monday morning at 7. If you want---"

"Yes!" I slapped my hands down on the counter pretty hard; making the old man startle and pause mid sentence.

"---you have a job here." He finished while chuckling at my exuberant reaction. "I suppose I'll just need your clothing sizes for a uniform. If you would please write them here for me." He placed a pad of paper and a pen on the counter and slid them towards me before going back to cleaning for the night.

"Thank you Sir!" I had a job; and to think that it had been under my nose this entire time.  
With ghouls! Of all things to happen to me...!

By the time Uta, Bjorn and I left; I had a borrowed plate with a mountainous stack of handmade sandwiches. All cut into cute little triangles. I had been squealing happily about my food, a reaction that I couldn’t curb for a while. However once we were away from the Cafe and on the subway seeing Uta being so quiet made me chill out a little.

"Uta...you okay? Are you upset with me?" 

"No, Not really." He studied me with his ghoulish eyes. On the subway at this time there was nobody in the same car so he had taken off those dark sunglasses and held them in his lap. He watched as I gazed excitedly down at my hill of sandwiches. To think that such delicious sandwiches could be gross tasting to a ghoul. “You’ve been quiet...I thought maybe you were upset at me for not telling you what was up…”

"To think you were actually starving. You didn’t say a thing to anybody about it.” The ghoul looked at me in wonder. Yoshimura had said that Uta hadn’t known what to do with me after I’d fainted. “Yeah...I suppose. I was doing the best I could with what I had…” I shrugged and sulked silently. Considering what I had to work with I thought I’d still done a decent job enduring. “You have a job with the cafe, but If you wanted some extra cash I could use some help cleaning my shop…" 

I looked up at the artist surprised at the offer. “It would only be once in a while. Mostly making sure that everything was dusted off and scraps from projects aren't all over the place…”

“Sure! Plus that means I can hang out more with you!~”

“You're always welcome at my shop. Itori and Renji wondered why you weren’t showing up. Itori thought she scared you off.”  
“Oh. Oh no. Uta. You guys are great. Like I said I couldn’t be around people. I was hurting and so tired…” I leaned back in my seat, eyes closed and a hand on Bjorn’s head; gently scratching.

“You said that before in the cafe. You were in pain…?” I cracked an eyelid to see he looked at me with wide curious eyes. I remembered Yoshimura saying that starvation for a human was different from a ghouls; I had no idea how different - maybe it was worse? “Yeah, of course? Take your pick of what hurt me. My head hurt, my stomach was in knots and my limbs wouldn’t stop trembling. It was harder to stay awake since I didn’t have the energy to do anything. When I did try I was mostly in a haze. I’m surprised I even got some applications finished. I’m sure there were errors on that paperwork. Plus, You wouldn’t have wanted me to come with you to the bar. I’d have been a real bummer to be around.” I smiled faintly trying to put a humorous spin on it. “I get cranky as hell. Pretty hangry.” 

I chuckled softly as his head tipped to one side. “Hangry…?” He chuckled and asked. “Cranky how?”  
“Well...I’m more likely to snap at someone for stupid shit. Stuff that normally wouldn’t bother me. Anything from the ordinary someone being an asshole to just mundane things like pen tapping. I’ve gotten angry at someone for breathing too loud...”

That had been an interesting day. I’d been out with Shuu in fact. I think the man had found it quite humorous. I kind of realized why now. There I had been: the little human trying to be threatening. After being out all day without getting anything to eat some guy had sat on one side of me on a subway just like this. He was breathing heavily (or I thought he was) and I’d dealt with it for a while because maybe he was just tired! Maybe he had just ran to make the subway car. But no! It didn’t slow down or stop or quiet at all. He just kept panting loudly...

I had stood up, looked him dead in the eyes and said: “You’d better stop panting like a bitch and keep your breath away from me or I’ll make sure you won't breathe anymore…”

All that anger was fixed with a PB&J.

“That isn’t so different from us. Why'd you faint?” Uta questioned. 

“Because my body didn’t have any energy left I suppose. What ---” I paused and considered my question carefully. I wanted to know what ghouls were like, what they felt like when they starved. Was that rude? Did I really want to know? “I told you before I’m going to ask stupid questions. So...what happens when you starve, or are hungry or whatever?” 

“Later.” For a second I thought he was just brushing it off and I wanted to argue. However I felt the subway start to slow to a stop and outside the windows of the car were people waiting to get on as we got off. He stood up and returned his shades to his face to cover his eyes.

I walked with Uta. It was weird how much safer I actually felt right now even with how dark it was. Normally at this time of night I’d be hold-up in my apartment with the dresser blockading the door. I still did that even with the door able to lock. Who knows if that might save me one day! Nevertheless right now I was with Uta. He was a ghoul - and I am human. Technically I was in a very unsafe situation. On a whim the ghoul could turn and kill me.  
He hunted earlier though so he shouldn't be hungry.  
A dark part of my brain hissed: 'that just meant that another human had died. Just not you! Maybe next time?' There was probably a body stashed away in his….. That was a morbid thought that I halted there.

"I'll bring you to your door. Make sure you get in alright where your safer. Will you come to the bar tomorrow?"  
"Thanks Uta. Yeah. Mr. Yoshimaru said I'd start on Monday and he gave me this huge plate of sandwiches...so I'll be good. I gotta make sure Itori doesn't think she scared me off somehow." 

I let myself and Bjorn I to my apartment and paused at the doorway. "...Um. Uta...thanks for...thanks for getting me off the street and bringing me to the cafe where they could help." If he'd been hungry, and he must have been since he had to hunt after, he could have easily decided to simply kill and eat me instead of hunt for someone else.  
"You're welcome. I'll see you tomorrow Ai-chan. Shut your door tight and don't let anybody in over night. No matter who it is."  
That was a little perturbing, nevertheless I nodded my agreement and carefully shut the door. Locked it. And then slid the heavy dresser in front of the doorway.

I put the little sandwiches into the fridge and got around for bed. Nobody did knock at my door from what I could tell. Which was find because I had no plans on letting them in if they had.

In the morning I canceled some job applications, got Bjorn his food again and got myself a shower. After getting out again I dressed myself in a nicer outfit than normal and even felt a little more motivated to put on makeup. It was just some light cover up on some red spots on my face and eyeliner. Eyeliner that I screwed up several times before finally getting it right. 

"Walk time!~" I grinned as Bjorn proceeded to launch himself into the air and into a wiggle fit. Huge dog in a little apartment meant the daily walk was a must to get out all that energy. We both enjoyed it!  
I walked by Uta's shop again on the way back home. Bjorn stopped and looked from the shop to me a few times.  
"Later, Bjorn. Later." He was doing so much better with Uta. I wanted to hope that he'd eventually like him but maybe he'd just accepted that the ghoul wasn't going away any time soon.

I would have liked to bring Uta coffee again as a thank you but while I did have food to eat I didn't have cash to get anything extra. I ate some more sandwiches and finally the last of my lingering hunger did disappear. It had taken a little while for all of my symptoms to go away back to my norm. My headache and exhaustion had hung on for a while only to subside after my good nights sleep on a full stomach.

I took the time to clean up my apartment; my eyes wandered to the wall where there were blood splatters. I really needed to paint over it in case someone ever came by to question me. Since those investigators stopped by the store I hadn't heard a single thing so maybe I was safe in that regard. The creepy old man apparently was just completely forgotten a week later.  
Good riddance honestly...

I wanted to say that that was unkind to say, or think but I couldn't argue that he deserved anything better than what he'd gotten. He'd been a perverted, creepy man who used his position of power to manipulate and victimize women near him.  
So - YES - he deserved it. I could think that and justify it. 

When I got bored of cleaning my own home I finally called Bjorn and grabbed his leash. "Okay Buddy; Let's go see Uta." I walked to the mask studio with Bjorn plodding along beside me. Ms. Kirin seemed even more interested each day with me as I walked out of my apartment. It was beginning to concern me however I still smiled and waved like a friendly neighbor.  
She probably just wondered why or how I was still alive…

I opened the studio door and walked in with my dog. The door chimed lightly as usual and I could see Uta had reached for his glasses, but stopped when he’d seen it was just me. “Ah, Aika. Hey.”  
I nodded at the sunglasses and laughed. “You gonna reach for those every time I come in?”  
“I thought I smelled a human was coming in. One I didn’t know. Can’t be too careful.”

“How good is your sense of smell? That’s amazing…”

He shrugged gently. “I’m not sure how much better it is than humans. But I could smell human as soon as the door opened a crack. I stay alert for that sort of thing.”

I walked over and looked at what he was working on. He had needle and thread in his hands and was sewing together a leather face mask with teeth zippered in front. It had an eye patch.  
Instantly I remembered that young looking boy at the cafe; the one that had been so nervously getting orders and wobbled slightly as he brought them out. “Oh...is this for ‘eye patch’ at the cafe?”  
“Hum? Yes. It is. Do you like it?”  
“I’m not sure…” I realized this could have sounded like an insult and quickly added to my thoughts so that he didn’t take it wrong. “I like the mask Uta - Just wondering if it’s for the same boy. He looked so - er - timid.” This mask screamed anything but timid. It was dark and just a little bit scary. Maybe that would work for the young man though. “Maybe he’ll grow into it…?”

“So now I’m curious…if you can smell a human at your door, you can’t tell the difference from one to another?”  
He peered up from his work with the needle and leather and cocked his head. “I can...but…”

"But?"

“...I’ve been putting off trying to learn your scent. It seems to make you uncomfortable. You said it was weird...” He had leaned in a few times to sniff at me in the past. However, every time I'd tried very hard to ignore it or blatantly move away. He’d been trying to learn my scent? 

“...you know. I’m getting the feeling with ghouls I’m going to be asking myself a lot: ‘Is this creepy - or endearing?””  
“Hum. What’s your verdict?”  
“I think the sniffing might always be just a little creepy. I suppose it’s because it's something more attributed to animal behavior than people’s. But in the end I think it depends on your intent.”

“But I suppose I’ll just get used to some of your ghoulish quirks.” If he did learn my scent then he wouldn’t have to be jumping for his glasses to hide when he smelled a human coming. He could relax because I was a ‘safe’ human. One he could maybe actually trust. If I could manage to be someone he could be more relaxed around without worry for being reported…  
With that in mind maybe I could admit that it’s a little endearing.  
“Final verdict: It is weird. But it’s also fine. You-do-you? Mkay?” His face never gave away much but I was pleased to see his posture relax back a little more in his chair as he worked.

“On another note! Careful where you're sticking that needle! You're gonna stab yourself!” I pointed out the needle working dangerously close to his skin even when he moved it without looking. “Oh...this? It won’t hurt me.”

"...it won't?" I flinched as he moved to jab himself in the palm. "HEY!!! What on Earth are you---" My eyes turned to the needle which was bending slightly as it was pressed to the flesh of his hand. "---doing? How…?!"

"A thing like this won't puncture ghoul skin...here. try it. " He held out another needle not currently attached to his work.  
"I am not going to stab you Uta!"  
He laughed as I stared at him; bewildered by his insistence that I prod him with the sharp needle. "You won't. Go on. Try it." 

I took the needle and looked at it doubtfully. I tested the tip by gently prodding my own finger on the end. It poked and stung slightly. A little drop of blood welled up on the surface of my skin before I shoved it into my mouth. It was definitely sharp!

I froze; thumb in my mouth as Uta fixed me with a stare. His eyes resting on my lips where my bloody thumb had disappeared into my mouth. Pupils swapping to the end of the needle to my face and then back he said: "Careful. Don't stab yourself."

A little late for that warning. I gently poked the needle at Uta's shoulder.  
But was met with resistance. Glancing from his face to his shoulder I tried again, a little harder. Nothing. The needle didn't even poke a tiny prick into him.  
"Does this hurt? Can you feel it?"

"I can feel it. But no, it doesn't."  
I continued even as he went back to working, clearly not bothered by any further poking. In fact he was chuckling once in a while as I tried. I tried around his tattoos and still found no give in the least bit. I stopped then seeing no point in it. It's not like I wanted to hurt him but seeing skin not getting pierced with something that clearly should have like this was like some kind of magic trick. "If a needle can't break your skin how did you get tattoos?" 

I grazed the tips of my fingers over his upper arm tattoos without thinking. The needle couldn't break the skin surface but his skin had the same texture as any humans, same warmth and when pressed into with my finger tips it gave a little; just like anybody else. I broke contact and flushed pink realizing that I'd started to trace the markings tenderly. "S-sorry…"  
"Hum? It's fine. The tattoos and piercings had to be done with a special needle."

I studied the needle in my hand carefully. What on earth was made stronger than steel? Clearly he knew my next question because he was already starting to answer as I thought. "The needles that were used are made of the same metals the doves use to kill us. Quinque steel. The CCG are the one and only company making it but sometimes they "lose" one of their Quinques and that's how I was able to get pierced."

"Quinques? What sort of weapon is that? Like a gun or..."

"Swords, knives and guns. Many more...they use the Kagune of a ghoul to make themselves stronger."  
"What's a Kagune?"  
"Oh...That's a ghoul's weapon. It’s from an organ called a kakuhou. You humans don't have one. But it forms what some people might call a liquid muscle. Made from RC cells. It’s not a perfect description. But it’s the best way to describe it for now...”

“Oh…so the CCG makes weapons out of…?” 

I felt a little dizzy and lightheaded as realization swept over me. They used ghouls to make weapons? The idea that someone could report any of my new friends and they'd be killed, have their organs ripped out and turned into weapons…just tools for fighting and killing their own race?  
"Aika? You good?"  
If Amon or his partner ever found Uta they’d take him in, rip out that ghoul organ and kill him. Making it into a weapon like he was spare parts!  
“I think I might vomit…" I covered my mouth and closed my eyes trying to force down the nauseous feeling that overtook me. I could hear a metal scraping noise and a trash can slid in front of me when I opened my eyes again. Courtesy of my ghoul friend.

I wouldn’t allow that to happen to Uta - or any of the ghouls I was meeting! I wasn’t going to be spilling their identities - not for anything! I could understand why Touka had been so upset to hear a human knew about them. Of course she'd suspect the worse and think they were all in danger! Expecially with THAT being the final result! My stomach settled uncomfortably but I managed to keep my lunch down. 

“You're looking a little pale…”

Uta had put down his project and turned his chair towards me, leaning forward to examine my complexion and expression. “N-no. I’ll be fine. I just didn’t know they did something that horrible...” A chill shook down my spine making me shudder.  
“Maybe I shared too much…”  
“No! I asked. And now I’m even more glad I didn’t consider any of those CCG jobs. But maybe we can talk about something else for a while. I'd rather not think of that.”  
"None of us like to talk about the weapons that much. Being around them generally make us rather uncomfortable. It's a sore subject." The male exhaled and returned to his work. He seemed satisfied that I wasn’t going to be losing my lunch into his trash can. He picked the leather creation back up and began sewing. The mask looked like it was almost done, just some of the sides needed to be sewn up to make it a clean and smooth edge. “That’s really looking good Uta, when are you going to give it to him?” The male looked up from his work and nodded. “I was thinking about stopping by the cafe tonight after store hours and leaving it before we go to the bar - if you don’t mind coming along?”

“I don’t mind! I'd hate trying to get to the bar by myself anyway.”

Bjorn pushed his head against my thigh and stared up at me through his eyebrow tuffs. “You’ll have to stay home though buddy. Pretty sure Itori won’t want a dog in her bar - especially since you don’t like ghouls all that much…” I scratched his ears though and he couldn’t help but lean into the attention. “A dog bite wouldn’t do anything to a ghoul though honestly.” If the metal needle wasn’t going to do it - why would a pair of dog teeth. 

I watched Uta work and found I rather liked to watch as his hands weaved together patterns and material into a mask. It was impressive. I had to wonder how the ‘leader’ of the 4th ward had become a mask artisan. Being leader of a ward of ghouls sounded like it would be a violent and difficult thing to do. Especially in a place like this.  
It clashed so hard with what I knew of Uta. He seemed like such a soft spoken and kind ghoul.

Eventually I did grow bored and walked around the studio looking at the mask stands. Then I started to dust them off one by one. Uta didn’t stop me so I continued until the displays were all cleared of dust. Later he brought out some glass cleaner and paper towels and shot me a small smile.

I grinned and went about making everything shine. First I’d move all of the displayed masks to another safe location, then clean it before returning the merchandise to the proper locations. When I was all done I stood examining the work proudly! 

His front door chimed and I shoo’d Bjorn to a back corner while the customer came in. I stayed out of the way, didn’t speak or even look at the person at all while Uta took care of his customer. I did finally look up when I recognized the voice of the old woman who lived across the street from me. “Hello there Dear. I’m afraid my mask broke from a little accident. I was hoping to get it repaired.”  
“Of course.” Uta looked over the mask in his hands, turning it over and examining the damage. I wondered how she’d gotten it damaged to begin with. “..this doesn't look too bad. I can do it right now if you don’t mind waiting a few minutes.”  
“Oh thank you dear! I'll just look around!”  
I turned back to Bjorn to pat him while he stared at the ol’ lady. The old woman's head turned to see me with my dog. “Oh...and you have a visitor. Then Uta dear, you must have been the nice young gentleman who helped her with her door!”  
“Hi Ms. Kirin! Yeah. Uta helped me.”

“Such a pretty young thing! Aren't you afraid of his eyes deary?”  
“His eyes?” I glanced towards Uta who stood with his shoulders looking a little tense. “I was at first! I was so startled but they are pretty neat tattoos, aren't they? I got used to them since then. Can’t imagine how much the needle would hurt though.” I shivered, pulling off the act perfectly as far as I was concerned.

I could practically hear the gears clicking in the old ghouls brain before she laughed. She bought it. “Oh yes, of course. It took some time getting used to them myself. It’s an odd style isn’t it?”

“Very unique though! You don’t see many people doing that around here!” I grinned, still playing along. Uta had started to work on the Ms. Kirins mask while I started a friendly conversation pointing out all my favorite masks in the shop.

“Even the simpler designs have so much detail. I’m really jealous. I think he’s got more skill in his pinky than I’ll ever have. I wish I could do something like this.” I said while looking over a white mask with big red x’s over the eyes and a Cheshire cat grin.

“It’s good to see you’ve made a friend.” She looked down at my dog curiously as he glared at her.

“Here you are Ms. Kirin. All fixed. Some of the stitches had just pulled free.” I watched curiously as the old woman gave him some money and left the shop. Before she was gone she glanced between Uta and myself.  
My ghoul friend chuckled and leaned back in his chair, a heavy sigh exhaled.  
“Are you okay?” I asked feeling a bit concerned.  
“That was close. I wasn’t sure what you’d say...I’m relieved…”  
It had been, but I thought I'd pulled it off just fine with my acting ability. Thankfully I could lie. You can thank a life sneaking away from tutors and nannies for that!

“See? I told you the tattoo eye thing was a good idea!” I grinned and walked back over to him and his nearly finished project.  
“Hey. Do you think Ms. Kirin will try something...she keeps talking to me every time I leave my house now…which wouldn’t be strange except she’s never done that before. It's making me a bit nervous...”

“Does she? Is it because she's a ghoul?” Uta frowned while he bent over his work. "No. It's not...I don't think. I kind of feel like I'm being silly..." I didn't want to think that I was only thinking the worse because she was a ghoul. Moreover I didn't want Uta to think that I was being nervous and judgmental just because she was a ghoul. In the end maybe she'd seen I was friends with Uta and decided she could be friendly?

“You never answered my question from last night.”

“What happens when a ghoul starves.” Uta said, confirming that he hadn’t forgotten. He considered the question and answered as he worked threading the needle through leather carefully. “Headaches and pain like you described for humans. You said you were in a haze. We also lose some of our mental capacity but it makes us savagely hungry. After a while it no longer matters if a person near us is a friend or foe. The desire to eat flesh overcomes that. Without food it’s inevitable that a ghoul would harm people close to them.”

He put in the final stitches into the mask and tied off the end. Holding it up he examined it closely and seemed satisfied with this work.

“Unlike you, a ghoul will normally try to satisfy the hunger as soon as it arises if possible. Unless they want it to get worse and hurting people close to them. It seems as though humans might have more control? You were able to resist going to more desperate measures to eat.”

I laughed at the absurdity. What a fine trait that was. I could starve myself to death as long as it didn’t hurt or inconvenience anybody else. “Well I thought about stealing again...when I got to the 4th ward years ago I learned to be a fairly adept pickpocket...those were not exactly proud days. I preferred not to go back. And I'm not high and mighty about it. I guess I’ve done worse things for other lesser reasons than starvation. Like killing my boss…” 

“Didn’t the investigators say ghouls had gotten him?” Uta placed the mask down on the desk and started putting away his materials and tools in their proper places. “Yeah…” I said sadly with my hand resting on Bjorn’s head. I idly scratched at his ears and booped his nose. It did make me feel better. Just a little. “...but I think it was still ultimately my fault. It’s entirely possible with how I struck him. I can still hear the sound of his skull cracking..." I shivered involuntarily. "He probably fell and died from the head trauma and was found later. So that blood is on my hands in the end...”  
“...but I’d do it over and over again.” I said confidently. I peered down at Bjorn and smiled weakly. The dog in return leaned into my side almost toppling me before I got my balance back. I’d have beaten my ex-boss to death in my house if it came down to it. Sometimes human nature rears an ugly head and we’re just as savage as any other beast on the earth. "Because he was trying to hurt something I loved..."

“After I pack this up I’ll be ready to head out to drop this mask off. Do you want me to walk you home first?”

“I’ll be fine bringing Bjorn back home while you do that. Then I'll join you out front.”  
“Alright. Five minutes.”  
To the front door I walked with Bjorn on my coat tails all the way home. After I ushered my dog into my own apartment I didn’t delay any; heading straight back to Uta's shop. As I walked my hackles raised without any obvious cause. Instinct. I picked up the pace and bee lined it towards the store. I had it within sight when I heard the old woman call out to me: “Hello dear.”

“O-oh? Ms. Kirin. How are you?” I paused unable to let go of my polite reaction - stopping and talking when spoken too. Expecially when I was being addressed by an elder. “Ah, I’m doing pretty well. Just thought I’d go out for a bite to eat and a coffee.” I shivered as I heard an underlying meaning in the words. I couldn’t explain it but I was in danger!  
I took a step back towards Uta’s front door and chuckled. I had to act normal. “Oh? That sounds nice.”  
“Care to join me?” She took a few steps towards me, closing in.  
“Sorry, but Uta is expecting me.” I was backing up steadily hoping I was getting closer.

She seemed slightly put off by that and paused her advance. I took another step backwards then turned to sprint until I hit the front door as I had no place else to flee to. “Oh dear. Is he running late…?” The woman coo'd behind me; a grin on her face.  
My panic mounted as she advanced again; her eyes looked like they were darkening down to a familiar void black. I batted my hand blindly catching the shop handle and twisting it.  
Only it didn’t.  
The ghoul inside had locked up after I’d left. It was after shop hours afterall. I smacked the door a few times and called out. “UTA.” Again I tried the door only for it to swing inwards sending me sprawling into the shop owner.  
“Aika?” He glanced out the door and frowned at the would be attacker. I felt hands wrap around my shoulders and pull me closer and away from the threat. “Did you forget something else Ms. Kirin?”

“No. I was just passing by when I saw Ms. Aika walking down the street. But you know how it’s so dangerous around here. You should let the dear wait inside if you want to keep her safe.”

“Is that so? I think it would be better if you didn’t follow Ms. Aika again.” Tremors shook my body as my nerves and flesh finally caught up with my brain realizing I had been in such danger. I could hear the underlying threats - in both the woman's and Uta’s voices. I peered over my shoulder at the woman and saw her Kakugan clearly staring back at me. "...Especially not on my territory...get lost."

The old woman’s eyes returned to normal and she smiled. “Alright dear. I suppose I get it now...she’s a lovely pet. It’s such a shame though with how good she smells…” I turned away as the woman downright leered at me. “She’s mine. If I see you stalking her again I will kill you…”

“No need for that dear! No need. She’s all yours. No harm done. She’s still perfectly intact! Have a good evening.” I heard the woman turn and walk away; her footsteps fading. The hands on my shoulders fell away and the male ghoul - my friend - took a step back from me to look me over. He ducked down so his eyes were level with mine. “You are unhurt, aren't you?”  
I nodded silently still in a state of shock. Again, those words. "She's all yours." would haunt me. Like I belonged to him. She'd even called me a pet.

“Do you still want to come with me to drop this off?” He lifted up a gift bag I presumed the mask was in. “And then to the bar?”

“Yes. Yeah I do…” I was a human being not a pet. However I didn’t really want to be away from Uta for the moment. What if while he was gone the ol’ lady sprung out and bashed down my door - regardless of what he’d had said!? “Can we check on Bjorn before we go…?”

“Sure. Aika. When we do, grab your mask and bring it along.”

“Yeah. okay Do I need it for something?”  
He nodded and broke eye contact and stood up straight. “You are becoming fairly entangled with ghoul society...it would be best to be able to hide your face. From other ghouls as well as the CCG."

"So." He continued. "If I tell you to put it on, do so as quickly as possible. Alright Ai-chan?"  
I nodded still feeling fairly numb and disconnected from reality. The ghouls used the masks to hide and now so could I.  
"I never thought I'd actually have to use it…"

"Why did you get one made?" Uta asked for the first time. I wondered how long he had wanted to ask me that. I had never expressed any event or purpose for having one. "They were beautiful. All of them. I wanted to see what you would make for me. Through the eye of the artist. How did you see me…? You know?"

"And you made a deer with wolfish teeth and a spider web. I wondered if the spider is caught in my antlers or am I stuck in the web?" 

"Maybe...Both. Come on. Let's go." Uta said while looking out the front door and up at the street level.

🍷

Bjorn was fine. As stupid as the fear was the old woman hadn’t taken out any frustration with my dog or my home. As much as I hated leaving him at home I couldn't bring him along either. I gave him some head pats and some food. On the way back out I had grabbed my mask and stowed it in my backpack; easily within grasping range.  
We dropped off Kaneki's mask and I was more properly introduced to ‘eyepatch’. Touka and Ken had been training apparently - although we’d kind of showed up at an awkward time. Touka was pretty much pinning the boy to the counter top of the cafe. How that helped him with a ‘kagune’ I had no idea. But apparently he was bad at using it.

Once we got to the bar I started to relax and smile more. It felt more at ease and I could open up after some friendly chatter. I could almost forget what happened earlier today. Like Uta, Itori seemed amazed by my ability to ignore my own body's need for food. What a magnificent ability I apparently had. What a foolish, stupid self destructive power.

I on the other hand pointed out that Uta carrying me to the 20th ward from the 4th was like a super power. "That's such a long way and...damn how strong are you?" Looking at his skinny stature with a critical eye I wouldn't have guessed he was capable of lifting and carrying me all the way. Ghoul power I guess.

"You are a lightweight. If you want I could gobble you up in one bite!~" He grinned a tiny bit and leaned in towards me. I leaned back and shook my head from side to side quickly. That sort of statement never failed to set my pulse on edge. Itori flashed him an annoyed glance. "U-kun! You're going to scare her by saying something like that!"  
"Oh. Yeah. I suppose so. Sorry Ai-chan..."  
"I-It's fine." It was just a joke. He didn't mean anything by it! Right?  
"Geez, U-kun you can be so heartless! She's almost been eaten today and you go and pull that joke!" I couldn’t help but to laugh awkwardly. I’d almost forgotten about that and bringing it back up wasn’t helping my nerves. "I said I was sorry…" Uta replied and frowned down into his glass of fermented human blood. I forced a smile and waved off Itori. "It's fine Itori. Really. I'm perfectly fine. It was just a joke! I can take a joke."

“Hum…” Itori still stared at Uta with a frown as he sulked silently into his drink. “Ai-chan, I’ll get you a drink to make up for his stupid jokes!” That wasn’t necessary but maybe she’d quit harping on the man if I took it. “Alright. Thank you.”  
I watched as she got a coffee around for me. It wasn’t nearly as good as Anteiku. But it also wasn’t as bad as the cup Uta had made at his house. I sighed softly as I swallowed down the warm drink.

“So Ai-chan!” Itori leaned across the bar and grinned. The expression looked wicked - like a reporter looking for gossip. “I heard you and the Gourmet are...close! Mind if I ask how close?”

“Oh...yeah we were friends back when we were kids. But...eh…” I could watch as the grin on her face turned a little more mischievous. She twisted to fingers together and waggled her eyebrows. I grimaced at the idea she was trying to get across. I had loved the boy when he was younger, and to me he seemed much the same now- but I shook my head sharply from side to side. I'd loved him platonically. I'd loved him as a friend. “NO. We were never like ‘that’!”

Her expression fell a little and she looked kind of disappointed. “Oh, No? Damn. I was hoping to hear some juicy gossip.” She leaned across the counter again getting a little too close for comfort and this time whispered. “Is it because he’s a ghoul?”  
Why would she whisper that? I lifted an eyebrow and cocked my head at her. I on the other hand didn’t bother with whispering. “Eh...no. It’s not ‘because he’s a ghoul’. I only just found out he was a ghoul anyway...” She looked surprised as I replied at a normal volume, her eyes darted to Uta beside me and then back.

“It’s because he is part of the higher class society that acts...er...um...Well. For a lack of a better wording. Posh. Stuck up. A bit condescending? Don’t get me wrong. Shuu was a dear friend back when we were kids but sometimes even I hated that about him. I hated it a lot.” I cupped my hands around my coffee and took a sip. “It was too much like my family. Plus - It’s not like I exactly ran back to him after I left my home, is it?”  
“Oooooh. No. I suppose not...”

I wondered why the female ghoul was still looking at me like this. Her slightly mischievous grin had returned. “Sooo! If you don’t like Tsukiyama then...you have a boyfriend?”  
Oh dear lord. She was fishing for details about my personal life. Worse, my love life. “No.” I said in a short sharp tone. “Girlfriend?!~” I rolled my eyes. She wasn’t just going to let this go. “I don’t swing that way Itori - so no.”

“Have you dated anyone at all? You’d not gonna tell me you’re our age and never dated anybody!”  
“I tried a few times.” I admitted and began a list on my fingers. “1st turned out to be a jerk who only wanted to get laid. He also hated my dog - so that’s a no go.. 2nd was a no show to the date. That was a ‘fun’ walk home. 3rd showed up...but I found out he actually already had a girlfriend. He cheated on her a lot apparently. So I busted him on that one. You should have seen how she launched his things off their 3rd story apartment. It was quite impressive actually…Three strikes and I gave up.”

“Oh.” I looked up from my coffee to see that the ghoul looked a little awkward. She was trying to stay cheerful for me, like I needed cheering up about it. Those had been a while ago - I’d gotten over them. “Well. You know. You’ll run into jerks all over! You could try again! I can try to set you up with some people!!! Hum? How's about it?”

“I’ve got more important things to worry about Itori. Like keeping a roof over my head and feeding myself. I’d rather not waste the effort when it probably won’t work out.”

“But you might want kids one day! Little babies!!!” I smiled at her attitude; maybe she’d make a good mom. She had the energy to do it. I on the other hand. “Ah-ha...yeah. No thanks…”

“What!?”

“Other people’s kids are fine but I’d rather not myself. I’d be the worst parent....” I’d been raised mostly by nannies, tutors and other such hired people. Always love through a 3rd party - never directly. I couldn't imagine actually bringing a child into the world. Expecially with how it was. There was no peace...

“You take care of your dog!” I take it all back; Itori should not have kids.

“Itori! Kids are not pets!!! They are little people you have to try to raise not to be assholes to the rest of the world! You have to hope to hell they don’t fuck everything up worse than it already is!”

“Haha! You see!” I blinked stupidly as she pointed at me suddenly. “You’d be a great parent if you think like that!” I opened my mouth to argue and realized she’d turned my own argument back on me. For the same reason I thought she wouldn’t be a good parent - she thought I would be. That was a dirty trick.  
“Still doesn't change my mind on it.”

“Fair enough. The world's kind of broken anyway.” She turned to the shelves behind her and grabbed a bottle off the shelf. A small glass of whiskey on the rocks slid in front of me shortly after. “You do remember I don’t have any money right?”  
“Uta will get it for you!~ Won’t you U-kun!?”  
“Sure.”  
“What? I-I’ll pay you back Uta!”  
“You cleaned my shop today so I actually owe you.” Well I’d done that unprompted but he was technically right. There had been an offer for money for cleaning services. And I'd cleaned. Who was I to argue? “You sure?”  
“Already poured it! If you're worried then It’ll be on the house to make up for all my questions! Don’t worry about it Hun!~ Maybe you’ll even tell me about Tsukiyama!”

“I suppose that depends on what you ask…” I cautiously picked up the glass and took a gulp of the liquid. It burned. It burned good. She winked at me but I wanted to steer the conversation away from myself - I’d already told her quite a bit about myself. I also had no intentions of telling her about Shuu as a kid - in case anything he’d done back then could be used against him. I was new to ghouls and their social life. Who knows if she actually wanted dirt on him. “Anyway, how long have you three known each other?”

“Oh! Us? For so long we’re stuck together by now! Renji-kun and U-kun didn't get along! Renji was a wild man! I know it’s hard to believe! But trust me! He was crazy! These two went at it quite a few times. The 4th ward was an even worse shit-hole because of them!”

I continued to drink my drink as I listened to the three of them tell little bits of old times. Mostly it was Itori telling the main parts and Uta or Renji interjecting to correct her or un-exaggerate something when she got too excited in the retelling. They all awkwardly seemed to stumble around topics of their diet around me. In a way I found it funny - but also I wondered why they did it? To be polite? Or was it because they thought I’d be grossed out and disgusted by them suddenly. As if it hadn’t sunk in yet that they were ghouls and ate humans.

I think when I looked away my glass would refill. There always seemed to be more in it even after I drank. I’d given the bar owner a funny look but she didn’t seem to notice and continued telling her stories. I think she's trying to get me drunk.  
I think I was letting her.

^^^ I MADE AIKA IN CODE VEIN!!!! ^^^  
(does anybody play?)


	11. Chapter 11: First Shift!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A drunk human is brought home and Aika starts her new job!~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize if this is a little shorter. Even in a pandemic I have a job that just dosn't have days off (actually having too much overtime!!! *cry* )  
> I guess I should just be happy Im making money though!!!
> 
> Stay safe Readers!!!! AND WASH YA'LL DAMN HANDS!~ <3

I could feel the moment when the alcohol hit me. Oh boy did it hit hard. Everything was suddenly fuzzy and warm. The whole world vibrated. It was so comfortable! It had been quite some time since I could get drunk anywhere. At least, somewhere I’d felt SAFE doing so. Drinking at home just wasn’t fun with nobody around. That sort of thing always seemed so sad. I gently swayed and hummed to the light music Itori played in the bar. “Hey. Ai-chan?”

“Hum?” I smiled and leaned against the bar for support. The smile that I thought was normal was actually a goofy lopsided grin as I continued to enjoyed my buzzed state. All the music sounded great, everything seemed a lot happier and people looked more attractive. That last part I could have gone without - but it came as a package deal. I couldn't complain much.  
“Are you good?”

“Good!? Pfft. I’m GREAT!~ I'm fucking fan-tastic!~” I could see Itori snicker and finally pull away my glass from me. “I think that’s enough!”  
“Pffft...hahah. Yeah it probably is…” I slurred slightly and giggled as I spoke. I did kind of want to argue that I could have more - but then I might actually black out. “You’d refilled that at least twice. Probably more. Definitely more.” The bartender looked surprised and I laughed out loud; I couldn’t help it seeing her expression like that. “Hahah! You didn’t think I noticed Did you?!”   
“And you let us get you drunk?” The ghoul seemed confused with my behavior. In my inhibited state I couldn’t understand what was wrong with letting my friends get me drunk. I was relaxed and happy and what else mattered? There was the matter of getting home, but Uta didn't seem very tipsy at the moment. We'd be perfectly fine as long as we didn't BOTH get wasted.  
“Yeah. I did. I haven't relaxed since...oh gosh. I can’t even remember…” I let my head lull back and exhaled. My muscles actually felt like they were unwinding from tight coils. So much pent up stress fell away from a few years in the 4th ward. Nearly three years of dealing with that creepy ol' man as my manager with his grabbing, reaching hands with thick knuckles...  
There was at least 2 years struggling to live before I managed to fall into an uncomfortable but livable pattern. All that time dodging and weaving around murderers, muggers and rapists. With not even a soul to confide in. Not one that could speak back to me at least.   
It was nice to have friends.

"Oh! Hey! Hey!" I whipped my head around too fast from Uta and Itori and the world blurred briefly in a flood of smeared colors and shapes. Oh man - I was a total wreck right now. If I did that too many times I might lose all the food and liquor in my stomach. "oof...T-those ol’ pictures of Uta, you still got em?"

"Oh! Yeah. Wait here. I'll get them!" She sped off, paused at a doorway to the back and added. "Annnnd maybe another cup of coffee for you."  
“‘preciate it.” I shot her a thumbs up and a sideways grin.

Renji exhaled and looked at me with his usual grumpy expression. Not that I thought he was being grumpy at me; I think that was just his face. Maybe it couldn’t be called grumpiness if it was constant. Maybe stoic would be a better description of Renji’s expression.  
“Aika you're going to fall…” He admonished me and I recognized the tone. He wasn't pleased that Itori had gotten me this drunk. I realized I’d been leaning too far in one direction off my stool and struggled to right myself. “That...I think I’m regretting that much to drink…”  
“Well...hopefully this coffee helps you. And these pictures!” Itori returned with both in hand while the silver haired male pushed me gently back into my seat by one shoulder. I didn’t want to think about the mess that would be trying to walk on the way home. Uta may end up carrying me again for the second time in two days.

I took a sip of the coffee in front of me and then looked at the pictures as they were shown to me. Itori explained a few of them and pointed out a couple of them that also showed both Itori and Renji while younger. “Oh my god!” My mouth had absolutely no filter and I knew it when I was going to say something embarrassing. I couldn’t help it or care less at the moment.. “Uta you look so cute! Look at that fluffy blond hair!!! Notthatyoulookbadnow! But...Was it bleached or was this natural, and you dye it now?” Drunk and ignoring normal social constructs I reached and gently twirled a strand of Uta’s front bangs around a finger. “It feels too soft right now to be damaged by dyes...so it was bleached back then? Oh and you don’t have all your tattoos in these pictures!!!” My mouth and mind was a run away train while Itori bent over the counter and stifled her laughter behind her hand. 

I held up a picture level with Uta’s face and looked from one to the other. The ghoul was looking at me with raised eyebrows and slightly parted lips. Who knows if it was because of my random and uncustomary close distance to feel up his hair or the close examination of the photo Uta and real Uta. For the first time he actually looked embarrassed as I compared him to his old pictures.  
“That was when Uta was the peacemaker and leader of the 4th ward.” Itori interrupted as she finally caught her breath and some composure. I looked from the current Uta to the old picture and squinted. "You and Renji look pretty much the same. I think Uta went under the most change."

“Same eyes though…I guess they’ve always been like that? Seems like it would be ‘ghoul hard-mode’. A bit unfair, isn’t it? I can see why you’d gravitate towards masks.”

That got a chuckle and a slight smile out of him and he finished off his glass of blood. I couldn’t help that my eyes were drawn to his lips and tongue as he licked a stray droplet that fell outside his mouth. “Ghoul hard mode?” I nodded enthusiastically while trying to ignore what my drunken brain was trying to imagine. “Yeah...cause you can’t really hide like these guys can…” I jerked a thumb at Renji and Itori with their normal human looking eyes. “The first thing people looked at with new people were their eyes and their smiles.” Most of the time Uta’s smile was missing and his eyes looked like ghoul eyes at all times. That had to be dangerous for him.

“Yeah. They’re stuck this way. It’s a pain when investigators come by to question me…anyway. It's time we go before Itori manages to sneak another drink into you. Can you stand?"

I gulped down the coffee quickly; the more non-alcoholic drinks in my system the better off I'd be later on. I turned the bar stool around and tried to stand. I was swaying, my legs felt a little like numb jello and the whole world was blurred. However; I was officially standing. "Oh no..." I muttered softly for the first time, truly understanding how worse off I was. It never did sink in how drunk you were until you tried to stand; did it?

"Oh this is gonna be fun..."

I felt two different hands reach to steady me from each side. Renji on one side and Uta took a step closer and held me on the other side. "Itori..." I heard Renji grumble low in the back of his throat. "This was over doing it..."  
"Sorrrrrrry! We were having fun! Anyway: I'm sorry Ai-chan!~ Maybe one of the boys will carry you home!"

"I've got ya." Uta bent to collect my bag and helped me slip it over my shoulders. He then opened it and pulled out my mask and set it upon my face and adjusted the straps until they were tight. "Uta, what are you doing?" My hand raised to feel the bone mask securely placed over my face.  
"Trust me?" He asked; leaning down to eye level with me. I probably shouldn’t but I nodded in response. "Then keep the mask on." He pulled a flat leather looking mask from an inner pocket and placed it over his own face. Everything was covered, even his eyes. It had a voodoo doll-like stitched face that replaced his normal features. Foggy and hazy with alcohol I immediately missed being able to see his face, his expression and his eyes.  
He knelt down in front of me; back to me and arms held low behind his back. “Come on. Arms around my neck. I’ll carry you.” 

I did so because I knew there was no way we’d get back if I tried walking by myself. Not in my condition and certainly not before morning. I wrapped my arms around his neck and shoulders region and tried to get a grip while leaning on him for support. I yelped when he stood up straight again. I almost slipped before I felt hands gather my thighs around his waist and hold me up. With some reshuffling in placement he seemed satisfied. “There...comfortable? Got a good grip?”

I settled my head on one of his shoulders and nodded. “Careful with the antlers Ai-chan....you’ll take my eye out.” He said, chuckling behind his mask. I wondered if he showed more emotion where nobody could see it. Hidden. That made me kind of sad to think he was smiling behind there where nobody could see.

“S-sorry!”

"See ya Itori, Renji...next time we don't get the human wasted. Hum?" I could see Itori grinning at me on Uta's back. "Have fun!~"  
I kept my head tucked against his shoulder and didn’t move much so I wouldn’t end up stabbing the ghoul holding me with the set of antlers. I still wondered why we were traveling with masks anyway. Didn’t ghouls use these to hide from CCG agents? Down the street from the bar he suddenly stopped walking. He reshuffled me a little on his back for a second time and seemed to make sure he had a good grip on my thighs. “Hold on tighter than that Ai-chan or you're going to fall off. And don’t bite your tongue.”

I clenched down on my grip on him; both around his waist and around his neck and shoulders. Doing as he asked I didn’t reply out loud - only nodding to avoid biting my tongue. I thought perhaps he intended on running and it would be a slightly bumper ride.  
What he did next I was woefully unprepared for. I really needed some lessons and a long chat on ghoul abilities and just how strong they were. I knew they were stronger, faster and ate people but…

Uta leapt straight up into the air; up the side of a building. While carrying me! It was just a jarring movement as suddenly his legs tensed, I could feel muscles in his back coil like springs and then release. Just like that we were moving upwards. My stomach straight up felt like it was going to be up-heaved. I couldn’t help a yelp as it was torn from me in the shock of the moment. We landed on the roof and the ghoul double and triple checked on me.  
“Get a good grip. If you fall and crack your head open I’ll have to eat you.”

I wanted to laugh but that may not have been a joke. Despite his words, the ghoul had a good grip on my thighs. If I fell it would only be because he dropped me.

“Remember, don’t bite your tongue.” I hugged my arms and legs around him tightly again and nodded into his shoulder when I was ready. He took off jumping from building to building. You’d think that this was going to be extremely bumpy but it actually was quite smooth. The up and down motion as he jumped from a shorter building up to a taller one. And then back down was making me sleepy. I kept my eyes on the horizon of the city landscape before us. My stomach didn’t protest too much unless he took a jump downwards too quickly; but I never threw up. I'm not sure I'd have survived the shame if I had.  
In the far distance there were sky scraping buildings that belonged to the richer parts of the city. Below us scrambled the homeless people and stray cats. Once or twice I thought I saw a ghoul or a human look up at us as we passed and feared for our identities - but I reminded myself that I was masked. Uta was masked.  
Ghouls may know his mask - but not mine.

He slowed down; taking more lazy jumps and leaps until he finally spoke again. “Alright. We’re almost home. Teeth clenched. It’s a long ways down.” He only gave me a moment but I did it just in time as he stepped off the roof of a building and freefell down to street level. Hitting the ground was jarring and I could feel the shock travel up his body and through me. My grip on him was white knuckled. If he’d been human I likely would have put some good claw marks into the man. 

I could feel him turn his head and try to check on me again. “I’m okay Uta. Thanks.” I relaxed my grip now that we were back on solid ground. He walked by his shop, I could feel a small hesitation as he passed. I thought of it as a habit. It was a habit to turn here but instead he brought me to my door and stopped. “Keys?”

“In my pocket hold on…” I let go of one shoulder and reached for my pocket and struggled to get the metal keychain. Finally with a grunt of frustration I pulled them free and held them for Uta. He let go of one thigh, took the keys and leaned forward while he unlocked the door to keep me from falling. There was little risk of that due to how tightly I had my legs wrapped around his waist. He entered - and Bjorn went nuts for a solid 3 seconds. He growled and snarled before realizing that I was with Uta and the ghoul hadn’t broken in at all. Immediately he calmed down and merely grumbled in the back of his throat as he stared at the both of us.

“Bjorn, it’s just Uta and me! Calm down my dude…” I giggled. “Sorry to say Uta - he still doesn't like you.”

“You think he would?”  
“Yeah, why not? Afterall I like you.” I choked realizing what I’d said and quickly added to try to cover. “And anyway. He can’t totally hate you! He went to you to get me help.”

“That’s true…” Uta moved to lean down to set me on my futon. I let go and fell about a foot to ungracefully flop onto my ‘bed’. “Hahah. Thanks. Sorry ‘bout that. I didn’t expect to get shitfaced tonight…If I owe one of you guys money let me know. I’ll pay you back after I start my job at Anteiku.” I pulled off my mask and put it aside. I loved the thing but keeping it on for a long time it got a little stuffy as one would expect.

“Nah. We’re even. Don’t worry about it Ai-chan.” 

I stared up at him as he turned around to face me; looking down at my vulnerable form sprawled out on the futon. Drunk and tired...I couldn’t see his expression. “So that’s your mask?” I said while struggling to sit up straight.  
“One of them.” He answered. It felt short and curt. I wondered if maybe he didn’t want me to see his others. Masks kept them safe and secret. Someone knowing them all would probably ruin the point of them. I tried not to feel disappointed; after all he’d let me see this one. “Goodnight Ai-chan. See you tomorrow?.” He set my keys on the wardrobe and headed for the door; glancing over his shoulder before he went.  
“Yeah. Of course. As long as I’m welcome.”

“Make sure to ---”  
“Lock my door. I know. I don’t need batty old women bursting in overnight....”

“...she won’t.” He said, but despite the mask in front of his face I could hear the frown. “She’ll leave you be.” I remembered his threat to kill the old ghoul if she messed with me again and I nodded. “Okay. But my door will be locked.”

He slipped out and pushed the door back closed again until it clicked. I went to the door and out of curiosity looked out the peephole to find Uta waiting, head cocked at the doorway. Waiting and listening. When I clicked the lock shut he started to walk away.  
It was a small thing to wait and listen for that, but it was nice. I moved the wardrobe in front of the doorway again with some difficulty. I’d have to take a shower and try to chug down some water to lessen the effects of a hangover.

Tonight was a goodnight.

♥

The rest of the weekend went by quickly and I was preparing to get up and head to work at my new job. I’d left Uta’s pretty early to make sure I had enough sleep. Truthfully I was excited and more than a little anxious! As I left Uta’s for the night I turned and grinned. “Hey Uta! Come to Anteiku tomorrow? You can come to my work then! Maybe if Mr. Yoshimaru - my boss - teaches me to make coffee well enough, I can make it for you?” It felt nice to say ‘my boss’ and not mean some scumbag!!! 

He had looked up from his work with a childishly pure surprised look before it softened into a small but genuine smile. “I will. When do you get out of work?”

“Five. But I might stick around and see if there’s more I can learn at that point. I don’t want to disappoint them!” I’d work harder than anybody if I had to prove I was useful and worth the while. I was the only human working in Anteiku after all!

I went to bed early but ended up staring at the ceiling until very late. At some point I must have fall asleep because I was jolted awake to my alarm going off. I couldn’t help but to grin and sing to myself as I got around for my first shift. I shoved the last sandwich triangle into my mouth and ran out the door, only stopping to lock it behind me. I’d have to come back after my shift to get Bjorn then maybe head back to Anteiku? Maybe the little girl that was there before would like to brush him out again!

At the front door there was a ‘closed’ sign but upon my approach it swung open to show Touka. “Hey...come on. Are you gonna stand there all morning?”  
She seemed annoyed at me still, for being human? As though that was something I could control. “Hey Touka!” I greeted her with a big smile despite her attitude. Nothing was going to ruin this for me! Nothing!

“Your uniform is in the first door on the right through there. After you get changed come back out. I’m supposed to train you…” This wasn’t something she volunteered to do. That much was obvious; Still I would get them all to like me! “So - after Uta left...what did ‘eyepatch’ say about his mask? He did like it right?”

Touka shrugged and kept her eyes anywhere but me. “He said it was a little scary…”  
“Yeah. It is a little scary isn't it? Maybe he’ll grow into it though.”

I started down the hallway and towards the door she told me. Inside I found a uniform that matched the specifications I’d given to Mr. Yoshimura. They fit perfectly and I walked out and spun in front of Touka. She waited for me leaning against the wall. “...fine. Come on. We open in an hour. I gotta teach you some basic stuff.”

It ended up being some basic etiquette and customer service skills. I briefly considered asking if she thought I was stupid - but fought myself agaist it. This was no time to burn bridges and maybe she wasn’t informed I’d have previous experience with customers. Thankfully it wasn't long before the other workers came in, including the old man himself. 

“Thank you again Mr. Yoshimura.” I bowed my head to him respectfully.   
“Ah, Ms. Aika. It’s good to see you again. Has Touka been kind to you?” I glanced over my shoulder at the purple haired young lady and could see she pouted and looked away. She was very thoroughly sweeping one spot as she listened in. She thought I was going to snitch on her to the boss. But instead of doing that...how about this:

“Yeah! She’s been awesome! It’ll be great working with her! I can’t wait to learn more.” From the corner of my eye I could see her freeze and relax as she continued to sweep the floor. “That’s good, I am happy to hear it. I admit I was concerned. But you seem quite cheerful here with us.”

“Of course I am! I've got a new job in a swanky part of town! And everything here smells like delicious coffee! By the way Sir. Do you think at some point you could teach me to make coffee? Today if possible?” Hopefully I wasn't asking for too much from him, but I also really wanted to hold to my end of what I'd told Uta.

“Oh. Is there a rush?” 

“Well…” I think I was blushing; my face felt hot and I couldn’t quite look at him in the eyes. “You see. Uta is probably going to show up at some point. I said maybe if I learned to make the coffee then I could make him his cup. But if it’s not something you’ll have me do, it's fine…"

He studied me and I shifted from foot to foot unsure what he was thinking. With his eyes closed like that It reminded me of how hard to read Uta had been with glasses on. He chuckled gently and nodded finally. "Of course Ms. Aika. If you told Uta you'd make his cup, I'll teach you today."

“Really!? Thank you!”

“But for now - customers will be coming in early. Ms. Irimi or Mr. Komo will tell you to whom orders go. I want you to bring the orders out. Touka will be taking orders - please shadow her to learn our system. Alright?”

“Yes sir!”

♥

The boss informed me that most of their costumers were ghouls while only a few were human. I wouldn't be able to tell but for the most part I just assumed anyone who drank their coffee black and got nothing else was probably a ghoul.  
I didn’t stop moving! Not a single moment in the day - Order after Order and cheerful smile after cheerful smile. I made customers smile and laugh. I was happy because unlike my old job I felt the smiles back at me were genuine. The laughter, real. I got compliments and nice conversations….rather than the leering looks and lecherous men.

It was getting later in the afternoon when I was finally stopped by Yoshimura calling me.  
“Yes sir?”

“You can take a minute to rest. I’m worried you’ll wear yourself out if you continue like you have been. You should take a minute to eat. I’ve made you some sandwiches. After you rest and have some food, I’ll teach you how to make the coffee. However you should remember, your shift ends in just a half hour.”

“Oh...I…” I looked at the clock and realized how long it had been. “The time just flew by. I was actually hoping to stay later - y-you don’t have to pay me for the extra time! I just figured I could learn more and help clean up at the end of the day!”

“Ms. Aika. Whatever time you work here you will be paid for. If you’d like to stay late to help then that is quite alright. Touka should be studying for a test. So it would be good for her to have the evening…” I grinned wide and nodded eagerly. I would totally take that time and help out - and if I could cover for Touka and clean in her stead. Well, maybe she’d like me a little more.

“Yes sir. I do need to run home breifly...because my dog.”

The manager nodded and gestured to an empty seat at the bar. “For now. Sandwiches.” The plate of sandwiches was placed in front of me. I took one and bit into it happily. For something made by a ghoul these really were very good sandwiches. To think he couldn’t even know how good they were! The shame of that. For now I munched and watched as the cafe life went onwards. A few customers I’d served waved and smiled at me as they left.  
“Ms. Aika…” I turned to see the dark haired woman named Irimi. ‘Ah, hi!” I tried to say through a sandwich stuffed into my mouth. It came out muffled. 

I chewed and swallowed down hard. “S-sorry! Hi. What’s up?”

“Your tips from the day.”

“Tips?” Had I not noticed the tips from the day? Did we do that here? When I looked at the wad of cash in her hand I almost balked. “There’s no way that’s just mine. All I did was give them coffee. You guys made it. And Touka took the orders mostly. You guys should keep it.”

Her expression shifted some and she looked confused. “I watched you all day. You did exceptionally well here. And this is already split. Do you not want it?”  
“I don’t really think that I....deserve it.” I clarified. I’d been moving all day - but mostly just getting people their orders. It seemed like such easy work to amount to the number of bills in her hand. “You guys did the hard work.”

The woman grabbed my hand and placed the bills in my palm gently. “You do deserve it. You worked hard. Even our regulars really loved you. And some of them are known to get grouchy when someone new starts…” She smiled a gentle and warm smile towards me that melted my resolve.

I wasn’t sure how to take the...praise. When had someone last given me an affirmative that I’d done a good job? Probably before I’d left home. My uncle use to; I could remember he always praised me after a hunt. I smiled. Despite my inner voice chanting I wouldn’t cry; my eyes felt a little dewy.  
“...thank you, Irimi.”

“The manager is waiting for you in the kitchen when you’re done eating. Best hurry up and finish.” I readily complied and shoved a sandwich into my mouth; holding it by the corner and putting the dirty dish in the sink while I munched it quickly. I shoved the cash into a pocket and headed back to the kitchen.

Before I got there I heard voices. Touka and Yoshimura.   
“...she do that?”

“Touka, she seems to genuinely care. I would not have allowed her here if I didn’t think she was trustworthy. She’s Uta’s friend also.” I paused and then knocked.

“Ah. Ms. Aika. I was waiting for you.”  
“Sorry I kind of over heard a little bit…” I felt that simply being honest about it would be the easiest way to go about this. The truth was always the easiest way to trust. The older gentleman chuckled softly and waved away my apology. “Ah. I see.” He glanced at Touka. “I was letting Touka know that she could have the evening off since you planned on staying. Though I did ask her to walk you at the very least to the station.”

“Fine…” Touka said, apparently bending under the awkwardness of being caught arguing by the person she’d been talking about. If he wanted her to walk me home for some kind of protection I wasn't sure how effective that would be. Seemed to me she pretty much wanted me dead anyway. 

“When you get back your dog can stay in the back room; if he can behave. Will he be alright?”  
I thought about it and then finally nodded. He had been making a lot of progress with Uta and hadn’t bitten anybody ( any ghoul) yet. “I think so. As long as nobody antagonizes him and I check in on him once in a while.”

“Make sure she gets back safely Touka, I don’t think Uta would be very happy to lose his friend on our account. Hum?”

“...yes sir…” The young ghoul muttered under her breath.

♥

Touka was staring me down so fiercely I lowered my gaze to the road as we walked. It had been so quiet as we headed to the subway station that would take me back to the 4th ward to get Bjorn. She continued with me ‘only’ because if I did get hurt the manager would be unhappy with her. With pure will power I finally croaked out my first words to her since we left. “Look...Touka. I don’t know what I did to upset you. If you're just upset I’m friends with Uta - I’m sorry. But I can’t go back and undo that. Nor would I...So I don’t know how to fix it.”

“I’m trying...I’m trying to be your friend too. I don’t want to report any of you. I want you all to be safe - everyone else, Irimi, Renji, Ken, Koma and Mr. Yoshimura have been very kind to me and I’d sooner cut off my own arm than have anything happen to you guys. But I’m at a loss of what to do or say to you since you obviously don’t trust me...”

I muttered lowly, so that others definitely couldn’t hear but she should be able to. “I understand you might have a reason for hating humans…”

“I don’t hate humans." She spoke to me; an edge to her tone. "You just...don’t see how easy you have it!”

I looked up from the ground and saw her frowning at me. “And you’re a threat. Sooner or later you could decide to hurt us. For one reason or another. Maybe a ghoul attacks you and you decide to report them. It will come back on us! You get to eat cake and whatever else you want and wander the streets without fear of being called a monster. So why would you even want to be friends with ‘monsters’ like us!?”  
I stopped walking and stared at Touka at a total loss. She seemed...Jealous of humans? There was more to her outburst than what I knew about - that much was obvious. Maybe she was having some other stress in her life that was making her lash out? I wondered if the eyepatch kid - half ghoul had anything to do with it.   
“...because in the last three years ghouls have been the only people to show me any damn humanity and kindness. And I’d never do that to any of you.”

I lowered my gaze to the ground and exhaled. “You didn’t have to walk me this far.”

“Yeah, well I did. I was gonna talk to Uta about my mask anyway…” Touka grumbled. I didn’t know if there was ever going to be a way to convince her. Maybe just time and patience could do that.

“Oh. Okay…”

“How far is your place?”

“Right around the corner actually.” I pointed and continued walking. “This close to Uta’s?”  
“Yeah...I was surprised too. I completely ignored his shop for three whole years. Crazy right?”

I glanced around nervously when we got close to my front door. I hoped my neighbor wasn’t around. If she was...then she wasn’t perched anywhere I could spot her. Not that the idea she was hiding and could see me was any more comforting.  
“Problem?” Touka raised an eyebrow at me. I waved her inside as an invite into my house much to her surprise.   
Once my door was closed I sighed and relaxed a little. Bjorn was jumping around and wagging. He grumbled briefly about Touka and circled - but seemed to relax as I cooed my usual ‘it’s okay Bjorn, they’re a friend.’ at him. 

Finally I replied to her question. There was a problem. “Yeah...er...no. My neighbor. The old lady tried to eat me the other day. So I’ve been a little on edge…”

“How’d you get away?”

“I ran to Uta’s of course. I was already headed that way. He kinda came out and told her off...something about territory and stuff…” And the ol’ bat had called me his pet. I left that part out; It still felt uncomfortable to even think about let alone speak about. “Oh...I’m sorry…” Touka said; rather awkwardly while trying not to meet my eyes.

“Nah. It’s cool. Don’t apologize. It’s not like you attacked me.” I smiled as brightly as I could against my grim memories of being chased down. I leash my dog and nodded. “Thanks for walking with me Touka...I know I’m not your first choice of company…”

“...well...you’re not the worst. Come on. Lets go to Uta’s…”

“I was going to head straight back to help out. And I already wasted enough of your time. Shouldn't you be studying?"

“Just come on. It’s not going to take too long.”

“Right...sure.” I relented easily, I couldn't argue too much agaist seeing the artist. 

I walked with her to the mask shop and followed her as she called out his name. “Uta. I’m here. Brought your friend.” I had already spotted the man before she called out. He was working on something (probably a mask) at his desk. He’d been reaching for his glasses before realizing who it was. I wondered if he still hadn’t learned my scent yet like he said he could.

“Hey Uta!” I waved. “I had to get Bjorn before I went back. Touka-chan was kind enough to walk me all the way back.”

“Well I….” She looked embarrassed as I gave her more credit than she probably actually deserved. She’d been kind of forced into helping me out - but at least I could act like she had done it of her own free will. “...yeah. I figured I’d stop by anyway since I was here. You need new measurements for my mask. It’s been a few years since I got the last one…”

“Oh. Yes. Sit down there for me! “ He dropped his work and got up. As he measured out Touka’s head and face I watched. Uta had a partially finished dish of eyeballs on his work counter. I had noticed that he kept them around while he worked. It seemed it was a similar compulsion that some humans had to snack on candy and sweets while they did work. He reached for one and then paused as if he just re-noticed me there. He held my gaze for a moment before moving to grab one and plop it into his mouth. 

Meanwhile Touka sputtered, looking from me to Uta. “You eat in front of her!?”

“Why shouldn’t he? It’s not my eyeball…although I guess it would be really hard to eat mine in front of me…” I blinked as the tattoo’d artist choked on the eye in his mouth; he forced himself to swallow it down before he could laugh. “Ai-chan! Don’t make me laugh while I’m eating!”

“Can’t help if I’m funny!” I grinned; my eyes went to Touka who looked between us with an odd expression. She didn’t seem like she was quite understanding something and it was perplexing her. “You're not bothered by that?” She finally asked.

“No. I mean. Don’t get me wrong, I still kind of squirm when he sits there and decides instead of eating he’s gonna play with them.” I grimaced in Uta’s direction as he picked up one and licked it. He was doing that on purpose now! “But no...it’s his food. It keeps him alive.”

Uta finally popped the eye he’d been licking into his mouth and ate it. He wrapped measuring tools around Touka’s head and began writing down numbers. “Ai-chan. Don’t you think Touka-chan and Ken looked like a cute couple?”

“WHAT!?” The younger woman balked as Uta suggested that. I snorted and laughed. I had to admit - they did. “Yeah. They kind of do. Especially how she had him all pinned down against the counter the other night. Made me think they already were a pair you know?”  
“W-what!? NO! No it wasn’t like that!”  
“I don’t know. Touka-chan do you just pin your friends down to counters?”

“He’s not a friend! I just work with him!”

“Oof. Ouch. That’s cold. The kid really likes you Touka and you're just gonna say something like that!? That’s harsh...” I grinned as the girl turned bright red from embarrassment. Maybe this isn't how you make someone like you, but it was too hard not to join in on the friendly teasing. Uta was smiling faintly behind her as he sketched.

"Uta-san. She's heading back to work since she decided to cover for my study night. And Yomo is taking Ken out for some 'shopping' later…"

"I'll be going with her. I want a cup of coffee."   
"Oh! Yoshimaru hasn't gotten around to training me with that yet…"

"Then I'll get your first cup. Better not screw it up Ai-chan." I pouted at Uta. “Oh? And if it is? I think it would be fair payback for the cup of tar you handed me before.”

“I can’t help it, my machine doesn't make good coffee…” He pouted and I giggled at him. “Uta, I promise to try my very best! Mr. Yoshimura is gonna teach me. How bad could I possibly make it?”

♥

Uta and I walked into the coffee shop an hour later. Bjorn was at my side and sniffing around as we entered. “Sorry I took so long. Touka walked me all the way back but wanted to stop by Uta’s with me. And he came back with me.” I pointed at myself and grinned. “So I’m safe and sound!”

“I’m glad. Uta, how good of you to visit. You really should more often. You shouldn’t be kept cooped up in your shop making masks all alone.”

“I’ve had company lately.” He took a place at the counter and smiled faintly. “Black coffee?” Irimi asked the man but he shook his head. “Sorry Irimi, I’m here to see if Ai-chan can make coffee.”

I heard a small girlish voice and I recognized it soon after. Hinami! The little girl who patted down Bjorn before. The dog leaned against me as though I’d defend him against the ‘attack’. “Nu-uh. Your gonna go play with Hinami!~” The girl appeared shortly after and smiled brightly at the huge dog; a brush already in hand.

The manager smiled and ushered me over to him as the little girl started her work on brushing out the huge dog. He needed it right about now so it was nice. He didn't think so; but he relented and just lay there and took it. Against all the dogs best attempts his tail gave him away as it thumped heavily agaist the floor; wagging slowly.

“Come over here behind the counter.” He waved his hand over a kettle and cups. “I’ve got everything set up.” He made a cup first to show me how to do it - I paid attention like a hawk to each thing he did and each step. “Pour it in circles. Slowly. Coffee tastes better when more effort and feeling is put into it. If you take your time you’ll get a perfect cup. Alright? Your turn. I’m sure you can do it.”

He emptied the kettle and set everything out in front of me, fresh and ready to go. I was nervous. The many pairs of eyes on me didn’t help but I did remember how to do it all. Slowly and carefully I started putting together the ingredients. Heating more water, measuring out the perfect amount of coffee grounds and then slowly, EVER so slowly pouring the water in perfect circles. I wanted it to taste good...I wanted to impress. And I wanted to give Uta a cup of coffee infinitely better than what his damn machine could.

I poured out two cups of coffee and exhaled a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. “Hum. You took quite a bit of effort on that.” I slid a cup in front of Uta and also the Manager. Uta leaned down to sniff his cup. “It smells good…”   
Mr. Yoshimura took a sip and seemed to mull over it. Finally at long last he smiled and let out a satisfied sigh. “Well done Ms. Aika. This is a good cup. I think with a little practice to make sure you get it right every time I could have you back here making it for customers. Well done.”

I was happy to eat up the praise from the manager but who I really wanted to hear from was…  
Uta who took a sip after thoroughly sniffing the beverage. He took a few more sips without saying a single thing. “This is delicious Ai-chan…” He finally sighed and I relaxed my shoulders. He looked at the cup and seemed to ponder something.

“With humans they may want other things in it. Milk and sugar for instance. You add those just the same. Circular and slowly as it mixes in.” I nodded as Yoshimura spoke and finished his cup of coffee off. “Thank you sir!”

“It’s no problem. You do not need to keep thanking me. Will you help the others start to clean for the night?”

“Yes sir!” I did a small salute before shooting off to go clean as asked. I grabbed all the supplies I needed first. A bucket and cloth to clean down the tables and then a large broom and mop to work on the floor after. 

Renji came into the store not too long after I started cleaning. Ken and ‘Yomo’ was suppose to go collect food. I’d learned after a while that Yomo was Renji. I’d felt pretty stupid it took me so long to figure that out. “Hey Renji!” I waved to the silver haired ghoul as he came in. He glanced at me and nodded. “Hello Aika. Uta you’re here?”

“Hey Renji. You missed having Ai-chans coffee. Maybe next time.” Uta smiled as he brought the cup back up to his lips to drink the final sip of his own mug. What a tease. “Maybe when the boss says I can make coffees for customers again I’ll make you a cup!~ Then this guy can’t gloat about having one.” I nudged the raven haired man as I passed by with a small grin on my face. “Ah no fair Ai-chan.”

“Then don’t gloat so much Uta. You shouldn’t be so cruel to your friends.”

“Thank you Aika.” Renji said, a tiny smile on his face. “Was I being ‘cruel’ Renji-kun?”  
I smirked as Renji didn’t bother to answer Uta and instead went to sit down while he waited for Ken to come out. I went back to cleaning with a small smile on my face; I hummed lightly with the music as I worked.


	12. Chapter 12: Grocery shopping

CHAPTER 12:

“Ms. Aika. I think that you’ve done plenty for the night. It’s getting dark now.” Mr. Yoshimura nodded to the windows where it was in fact passing twilight into night. “Oh. Shoot. I didn’t even notice…” It had been quite some time since Yomo and Ken had already left and returned with a corpse. The poor young man look completely terrified and I couldn’t blame him considering they’d fit a full grown human into a small suitcase. It had to be in pieces. That must have been ‘great’ to watch. At any rate: that meant it had been quite some time since I’d gotten back here and begun to clean.  
“I kind of lost track of time again…” Still I smiled, because unlike that other job from before I was actually enjoying it. However this did mean I needed to get back home in the dark. I frowned into the dark street outside the windows while I considered just what the risk level was. It was still dangerous in ALL the wards but getting to the train wasn’t going to be hard in the 20th ward. However the 4th was completely out of the question in terms of safety; that was a 50/50 gamble.   
Either I’d get caught by a ghoul or I wouldn’t. Flip a coin.

“Aika, Don’t worry ‘bout it. I’ll walk you home again. I’m not carrying you this time though.” Uta said, working on his second cup of coffee. This one was crafted by the manager while I had been cleaning up. “Thanks Uta...Sorry to have you do this all the time.”

Yoshimura looked between us with an unreadable expression before he spoke up. “Are you quite sure you wouldn’t be safer living in the 20th ward. Especially since it’s now where you work.” I paused as I put the mop and bucket away. I shut the door to the storage closet and smiled at the old man. “I don’t know. You mentioned that before…”

“I could help you arrange a safe place to stay within your budget.” I looked away from the old man and to the floor. I’d stayed where I was because my family issues and also because after a while I had just...grown into the 4th ward. Or the ward had grown roots into me. Either way to uproot like that wasn’t something I took lightly.  
“You would be safer here…” Uta said offhandedly and it caught me off guard. His red eyes flicked towards me and he shrugged. “I...I guess...” Then there was Uta to consider. Living on that street so close to him I did feel safer. But that wasn’t all; I liked living so close to a friend I could visit. However this entire time he’d been protecting me. So far he’d dealt with all the threats but maybe he was tired of doing that and I was actually bothersome. Thinking that for even a second hurt.

“I’m used to the 4th ward Mr. Yoshimura. It’s weird - but I do like it there. But I guess I shouldn’t rely on anybody else so much to protect me either. I can walk home by myself Uta...”

He shrugged once again and stood up; sliding money across the table for the owner. “If you say so. See you tomorrow Ai-chan?” I hadn’t expected him to agree so quickly to let me walk alone. It only made me think my suspicions were correct. The manager was frowning; the wrinkles in his face seemed even deeper right now. “Uta...I’m not sure that’s a good idea…”

The goth stopped to look back at me as I finished up my shift. "She'll be alright." And then he was out of sight through the front door. It kind of hurt and I felt regret for letting him leave without me. I tried to stomp out that feeling because I shouldn't be using my friends as bodyguards. I'd gotten along before just fine without ghouls lugging me around and I'd get around just fine now.

The manager seemed unhappy at this turn of events. This was quite obviously the opposite of what he wanted when he mentioned I'd be safer here. Now I was even less protected before he’d brought up the subject of moving. “I can see if Yomo can come back and bring you----”

“No. Sir. I will be okay. Thank you...I realize the world is dangerous. But it isn’t any more dangerous than it was a month ago. I’ll be careful as I always was. I should be heading home now though before it gets any later. Should I come in at the same time tomorrow?” The manager looked conflicted but finally nodded. I thought I caught a glimpse of sadness on his face as he did. “Please, do be careful Ms. Aika.”

“As always!" I shot him a grin that was full of forced cheer. "You too! Be safe! I don’t wanna have my new boss die on me!”  
I left when he smiled again and nodded.

♥

Bjorn trotted by my side as I walked quickly down the street. The night was eerie with only the brave or stupid souls that lurked outside at this time of night. Which was I? I’d turned away my protector out of...pride? Or just because I felt bad for being a burden? It was stupid. I should have just had him bring me home this time and avoided this problem in the future rather than putting myself in more danger. Should have. Would have. Could have.

What if I was attacked and killed tonight; then what? The people who had wanted to keep me safe would have to deal with that outcome. Would they be sad?

I was getting that hair raising feeling I had before when Ms. Kirin had stalked me down the street. I knew if I was actually being followed than hurrying my steps wasn’t going to help but I still did it. I couldn't help it as the instinct demanded me to flee. This was the 20th ward still so it should technically be safe. Especially since the ghouls of this ward who knew this uniform; Right? I thought for sure they’d leave someone from Anteiku alone. Maybe that had been foolish thinking as well.

But there was that feeling that wasn’t going away. Even when I took an odd and sudden turn.

I came to a stop and looked around almost sure that I’d see someone or something stalking me. I had one hand rested upon Bjorn's great head as I anxiously looked around. Bjorn seemed not at all worried as he looked up at me; head cocked in his confused expression. Maybe I WAS going crazy because if he didn’t think anything was there then it had to just be my nerves.

I continued walking though I slowed down and tried to pay attention to everything around me just in case. When I got to the station I didn’t wait for the 4th ward train and instead hopped onto the one bought for the 14th ward that was already here and about to leave. I watched and made sure nobody got on after me and sat down as it left.   
I spent another hour on trains and between stations before I was on one headed towards the 4th ward.

My paranoia eased when I'd been on the train. However the moment I set foot outside at 4th ward station and started walking I felt that hair raising instinct again. But Bjorn, the big oaf just kept looking at me like I was the nuts one here. I looked down at him with a confused look and then looked around. There were a few options. I could ignore this and head home. Trust Bjorn. Or I could fall prey to paranoia and just shut myself into one of the station's bathrooms for the night and lock the door. I wouldn’t be able to sleep but the idea I was being followed around made me hesitant about going home and leading someone straight there.

I finally took a step out of the station and started home. Decision made; I took the safest roads I knew of which were mostly the most brightly lit and well traveled. My worries of a ghoul attack almost diminished to zero when I saw a very real threat. How could I forget that ghouls were not the only threat here. A man in dark jeans, a hoodie and a fabric face mask that was pretty popular popped out from an alleyway ahead across the street and started towards me with intent. I met his eyes and felt like a deer in the headlights. What saved me and what had always saved me before was my dog. The man paused his advance when Bjorn turned towards him and let out a deep snarl; teeth bared and fur standing on end making him look like a giant polar bear. The man stood frozen then lifting his hands up in a motion of surrender. I could see now one held a knife. Not all dangers came from ghouls…  
He backed up and then turned to flee while Bjorn continued to growl deep in his chest. “Well at least you could tell that was weird…” I patted Bjorns head and the dog stopped his growling to look up at me with his usual endearing expression. "Good boy." I told him with a small smile.  
Clearly I was being paranoid…

I made it home safe and sound. No ghoul attacks. No growling from Bjorn except to ward off my would be mugger human. Not a single peep. “You’re a good boy” I praised him and got him food. I wondered though why I was being so paranoid as I stared at the doorway blocked by my dresser. I didn't get much sleep. Instead I spent many hours of the night trying to get the remaining bloodstains off my walls. Unsuccessfully.

I really would have to paint over those.

♥

I went to work and the day followed much like the last had. Except this time at five I left for home and didn’t stay any extra. I didn't want to repeat the previous day and go home in the dark. Throughout the day Mr. Yoshimura was having me make his coffee to continue to test me on it. The second cup hadn’t come out as well, but he didn’t discourage me. He seemed like a strong believer in the saying “practice makes perfect”. So I’d keep trying until I was ready.

I made sure to say goodbye to everyone before I left the cafe and headed home. Even Touka. She did wave even if she didn’t give me quite the same enthusiastic goodbye as I gave her. That was fine. This was still progress. Someday I was sure we'd be friends.  
I stopped at Uta’s on the way home. It took me an unusually long minute to work up the nerve to actually go in. I could just go home but I felt that I needed apologize for something. Plus he probably expected me to drop by since he had said “see you tomorrow”.

I entered the shop and looked for the man at his desk. Sure enough he was there already with his sunglasses on this time. “Oh...Ai-chan.” His glasses slid down his nose as he tilted his head forward to look over them. “It’s you.”

“Yeah.” I smiled despite my slightly dower mood. “Just me.” He removed the glasses from his face and placed them back down and grabbed his work again. "You got home safe then?" I could have slapped myself right there and then. I hadn't even bothered to send him a message last night that I'd gotten back safe. Even if he didn't want to walk me back it seems like...maybe he worried? “Yeah I did. I should have texted you to let you know."

"Also. I stopped by because I’m sorry…” Uta turned his head, his eyebrows pinching together. “Hum, what for?”

“ I don’t mean to keep putting you in the situation where you have to watch my back for me. Or carry me around like luggage.” I chuckled faintly and looked at his tile floor. It needed to be cleaned again, I could see bits of glitter here and there. I tried not to imagine someone actually wearing a glitter mask. “...it was stupid to not go with you last night. Especially that late at night and I was paranoid the whole way. I’ll try to avoid that sort of thing in the future.”

“I could have walked you. I don’t really mind Ai-chan.” I looked up at him and then let my gaze slide away from him and around his shop. “Yeah. Well you said I should move though…”

“I only said you might be safer.” How was telling me I’d be safer different from telling me I should move? I didn’t get long to think about it though as he interrupted the thought train. “Do you think you still need to avoid your family?” He was working on a mask in his hands now, cutting away bits of would with a knife until it was shaped right for someone’s face. His eyes were on his work, but I could tell he was still paying attention. “...I don’t know honestly. I’m probably worrying about them for nothing. But I never wanted to let my guard down just in case. They’ve got money and connections and I never wanted to be dragged back into any of that.”

“What does your family do?”  
“Uta...did I ever tell you my family name?” I asked, feeling unsure for a minute. I probably hadn't. I avoided it and I avoided them. “Don’t think so.” He replied.  
“Oh...it’s Kaneshiro. Aika Kaneshiro. Nice to meet you?” I laughed gently as his eyebrows raised slightly. “I guess I generally don’t tell people my last name if I don’t have to. Anyway; The Kaneshiro’s run a large company that mostly deals with erm... If I recall correctly: I think it's mostly stem cell research and genetics. They grew human organs I think for medical transplant. My parents mostly just ordered the smart people around for that sort of thing. Managed people and money for scientific research...”

“They grow human organs?” He asked incredulously and all I could do was shrug. “Yeah...I guess? Like I said: I haven’t the foggiest clue how.” I did wonder with something like that couldn’t they maybe feed ghouls synthetic human flesh. If a human body would accept it as an organ why couldn’t a ghoul eat it? Well...that was a question that I didn’t have control over. My last name at this point was only a formality I could just as easily disown at this point. 

“Anyway; with the kind of money they have I didn’t want to get anywhere near where their claws can reach. And now...I’m kinda stuck here.” Uta had gone back to his mask but he shook his head. “Stuck how? You have plenty of opportunity to leave now.”

I chewed the inside of my cheek then clicked my tongue. “I don’t like moving. Uprooting is hard to do. I’m kinda just set...I guess I settle into a routine and I stick with it until it bursts into flames and it turns into a ‘do or die’ sort of thing. And...if I moved I’d be in some other ghouls territory. I’m sure Mr. Yoshimura will try and help me find a place in a safer part of town but I suppose I just feel better here. It's home.”

“This is my territory.”  
“Exactly…” He tilted his head at my response. He still faced his work but his crimson irises were turned to stare at me from the corner of his eyes. They bore into me until I had to break eye contact. “But I know you. I won’t know whoever’s territory I get placed in…” I had limited choices that let me control what situation I was in, and this was one of them. I could choose to be placed in some rando ghoul’s territory in the 20th ward and roll for luck. Or. I could stick to the devil I knew. A devil that frankly: I liked.

“I could still eat you.” He said. It could have been a warning but at the same time didn't set off alarm bells in my head. “Yeah. You could have for three years Uta. I live practically next door to you. But you didn’t. Anyway, if you did that, who'd yell at you to stop tonguing your eyeballs and just eat them!” He cracked a smile and laughed. Very deliberately the man picked up one such eye from a tray next to him began to lick it. “Oh come on. Just eat it….” I whined.

I watched as he continued to just lick it like it was a lollipop. “...just eat it Uta!” I said, my voice holding warning. As though I could actually do anything. Still, he kept teasing me, like this was a funny joke to him. I crossed my arms and grumbled about his immaturity. “I’m waiting Ai-chan!~ What are you going to do?”

Goaded onward; I stood and stormed over. He just remained seated and looked up at me with the eye balanced on his outstretched tongue. His irises remained fixed on me. His eyes were wide and held a curious expression. Just what would the human do?!

I shoved the eye into his mouth with the palm of my hand and then held my hand there covering his whole mouth until he swallowed it so he couldn’t continue to fuck with me. For a split moment I relished the look of pure shock that crossed his face as I got so close and forced the eye past his lips and into his mouth.  
That was before…

I felt a damp muscle slick itself across my palm and teeth close down to nip at my flesh. I yelped and pulled back to see that his shock had turned to smug satisfaction. “Ai-chan...you do taste good.” I wiped my palm hard against my uniforms pants trying to clean the saliva off it. I'd worry about cleaning the uniform later. “Ew. That’s gross Uta!”  
“I’ve seen your dog lick your face before. Surely that’s worse. Maybe I should lick your fa---”

“Don’t you dare!” I growled before he could finish his sentence. He threw his head back and laughed. It was nice to see him open up a little bit and laugh out loudly like this for a few precious moments. Even when he stopped I could still see a very slight smile remain on his face. This was far better than the blank expression he carried around with him most of the time. 

I took a look at my hand and frowned. In the center of my palm there was a little red mark left by...something.

His teeth: I realized. He’d bitten me when I covered his mouth. It had been a tiny teasing nibble since I'd gone and put my hand over his mouth, but I hadn’t expected it to mark up my hand. It was probably just lucky that he hadn’t broken the skin on accident. “Better not lick my face Uta. If I go to work with bite marks on my skin Mr. Yoshimura’s gonna have some serious questions…” I rubbed the mark with my other thumb and grimaced. It kind of stung.

“Fragile human.”

“Well maybe don’t BITE the fragile human!” 

"Fragile humans shouldn't stick their fingers into ghouls mouths." He smirked slightly, the lip ring of his twitched upwards. I hadn’t really done that exactly but I had to admit that I’d been pretty close. "Fair." I relented and shrugged. I did trust him though; far more than I probably should. Everything up until now. He took me to meet his friends and to Anteiku. Saved me when I’d collapsed in an alleyway. Carrying me home when I was super drunk. He’d had me in a thousand different vulnerable situations. If he planned on eating me; then all that sounded like dinner with far too many extra steps honestly. 

I stepped closer again to see what he was working on. It looked like a thick round wooden plate right now. However I could see the tracing of pencil on it where he’d made markings to cut here or there. It was reminiscent of the deku’s mask from Legend of Zelda at the moment. “Do you get more mask sales around halloween?”

“More human customers around then than normal. It can get busy.” I considered the ghouls I worked with and especially Touka. I’d covered her study night for some tests today. I wondered how she did on them or if she’d even have the results back in yet. “Touka goes to school. That’s pretty rare isn’t it...for a ghoul?”

“Yeah. I said much the same to Ken when he came to visit for a mask. We walk a tightrope between the human world and our hidden ghoul lives. Staying apart makes us safer. But some of us still crave being a part of society. It can be dangerous.” I thought I could detect a note of sadness in his voice. A glance up to his face from the mask confirmed that his smile had fallen away. It must be lonely in a way I’d never considered before. Here was a man who sat in his shop and made masks for his kin day in and day out. Masks to keep them safe from humans who killed them and made them into weapons. Even that didn’t keep them all safe. But maybe that was the best thing he could do...what other option was there?

“ I like it…” He said when I didn't reply. He exhaled and brought a hand up to his throat as though to feel at his pulse. “I like getting human customers. It makes my pulse race. I can't explain it.” I looked away from him and towards all the masks that were his art work. This shop and his work were a thin shield to help his kind. It was all so fragile. I could understand why Touka snapped at me or the new ghouls I met regarded me with abundant caution. All that and he still liked human’s coming in for a mask; never knowing how close they were to a ghoul as he asked them his questions to learn about them.

It was amazing that he still enjoyed having humans come to him for masks.   
Ghouls ate humans. But Humans were on the war path to annihilate their entire race...  
I don't know if I could have done or thought the same.

♥

I stood up a while later after watching him work in near silence. While he worked I sneaked in some looks over his exposed tattoos. Today he'd taken off his cardigan and just wore a lose fitting tank top. I had to physically stop myself and take a step back to avoid reaching out and tracing the lines as they went from upper biceps down to his forearms. I felt a bit like a creeper but who knew he was that muscular.  
“Leaving?” He asked as I stretched out and cracked my back. “Yeah. I have to get some groceries. I got some tip money from work. So I have to go make sure I don’t pass out in the street again. Right?” I grinned, he probably did not wish to repeat that performance.  
The ghoul placed down his work and stood up, grabbing his cardigan from the back of his chair. “I’ll go with you.”

“Why on earth would you want to go grocery shopping with me?” I raised an eyebrow at the man; truly confused by this turn of events. I couldn’t help but imagine the ghoul wandering around a grocery store and how completely out of place he’d look. “There’s nothing there you can eat…so...?”  
“I’m curious. I want to see what you like.” He tilted his head to the left, his eyes were searching my face for an answer. As though I’d ban him from coming with me. “Well. I’m not going to stop you. But that seems like it would be kinda boring…” I glanced at his work and his shop. “And don’t you have to be here?”

“Closing early.”

“Sure, I guess.” I may not understand it but I also didn’t see any harm in it. The grocery store was also one place I couldn’t bring Bjorn. They’d even shooed me off from letting him sit outside because they thought he’d bother other people. After almost being mugged on the way home perhaps it wasn’t a terrible idea to have Uta come along. I waited while he grabbed his keys and sunglasses before heading out the front door. He locked up and turned the sign to ‘closed’ before we left. 

It felt so weird walking around a store filled to the brim with food. All of which was completely inedible to someone like Uta. Yet he trailed along behind me looking at things. It did give the illusion that he was actually interested in buying something. 

“What does that taste like?” I looked to where he was pointing. I wanted to laugh but I decided to humor him. This was probably part of the reason why he’d wanted to come along to begin with. “Uta. That's a potato. Typically they’re not eaten by themselves without being cooked and seasoned. They’re kind of bland and crunchy if you eat them raw.”

“And that?” He pointed at a bright red tomato. “A lot of these things over here are ingredients. That’s a tomato. It’s kind of sweet. It’s kind of squishy since the inside has jelly like liquid that holds it’s seeds.” I looked up at the signs above the area of the store. They’d put it in with the vegetables. I couldn't bring myself to be annoyed at the questions. I was trying to answer them all the best of my ability. I chuckled softly as he pointed out a few other things he seemed curious about. He kept quiet as we passed other humans. He looked at some of the things I’d collected and asked about them. One, a Styrofoam tray held chicken. “...what does chicken taste like?”  
For this one I actually had to laugh out loud. “I can’t answer that.” I answered the ghoul while still giggling. His expression didn’t help me stop laughing as he asked me why I couldn’t. “Why not?”

“Uta. Humans can’t even describe chicken to other humans. How am I supposed to explain to you? It’s chicken. It tastes like chicken. There’s not much else I can say about it.” I could see he looked disappointed. I tried to help a little by adding: “Normally like everything else we season it and cook it before we eat it. Chicken is a type of meat that absorbs the taste really well depending on what you cook it with. So like with hot peppers -” I held up the peppers I had grabbed earlier. “It makes the meat spicy.”  
“You said that tastes hot. Like burning in your mouth.” I smiled as he remembered what I told him from one of his earlier questions. “That hurts doesn't it?” I wondered if the concept of flavors like spicy and sweet was completely foreign to ghouls. There was a chance that tastes like that did kind of translate depending on what their prey ate...but I didn’t want to think too much on that because then I'd wonder: Do I taste like ramen?

“Yeah. I guess. Kind of.” I’d always have to drink down a cup of milk after spicy food to soothe away the ‘pain’. “I guess.It’s not quite the same. It's different from pain though. I’m sure Shuu would have some fancy way to describe food if he could eat this stuff...” I wasn’t quite sure I was doing as good a job as that foodie ghoul could have.

I nodded at pork chops on display. “Fun fact: Cannibals sometimes said that humans taste like pork.” I always thought that was an interesting fact. Morbid. But interesting. He looked down at the meat and sniffed curiously. Judging by the way he scrunched up his nose it didn’t smell like human meat at all. “...” I didn’t pick it up and kept moving towards the bakery where there was some fresh bread and cakes. 

I paused my search through the bakery section to look behind me. What I found was that Uta was left far behind me. He was now carrying a pack of meat with him. “What’s that for?” I asked as he approached still holding it. My own hands were currently full; a small container of brownies had filled my thoughts until a moment ago.

“Do you like these?” I looked at just what he had in his hand. Pork chops. Of course. Now I did like pork. I liked pretty much any type of meat. Bear, Venison, boar. If I got the chance to hunt down the animal I would eat it. Waste not want not and all that. But after telling Uta that little morbid fact about pork it made me a little uneasy. Whether he was doing it on purpose was up in the air but the man really knew how to get under my skin.  
“...you're asking because of what I told you…?”  
He didn’t reply. Not even a nod. Just stared through those dark glasses at me. I broke our eye contact to look down at the brownies in my hand. “Yes Uta. I like pork.” He was about to say something before I interrupted. “But if I get it I normally get a rack of ribs. And they're pretty expensive. So it’ll have to wait till I actually get paid rather than tip money. So put that back?”

He nodded finally and retreated back to put the meat back on the shelf. I exhaled a long sigh and looked back down at my prize in my hands. “What are those?” A question was asked right next to my ear and I jumped and cursed as Uta had reappeared without any warning. He sure moved quietly for someone who wore those clog-like shoes. He kept looking at the treat in my hands. “They’re called brownies. They’re like dense chocolate flavored bread. They’re sweet.”

I put down the package back on the shelf and went to grab a loaf of fresh bread instead.   
When I turned around I saw Uta holding the box and looking at me curiously. “What...Uta?”  
“You want these. Why’d you put them down?”

I felt my face heat up a tiny bit from shame and looked away. I had been pretty excited about seeing the brownies but they were also pretty expensive for the dessert. I just couldn’t afford anything extra than what I’d had planned for. “Because those are just a treat. Something I like. But I don’t need those like I need this bread and I’m limited on money for the moment.”

Concepts like paying money for food must seem strange for a ghoul who lived off hunting people. All they typically had to buy was coffee. Thankfully he did seem to catch on and put the box back down before continuing to follow me around more quietly.   
I checked out with my food and carried the bags in my arms on the way back home. “Thanks for coming with me Uta. I know you wanted to...but I was a bit worried since on the way home last night I had a little trouble…”

“Trouble?”

“Yeah there was a scumbag with a knife. He was about to mug me or something but when he saw Bjorn he hightailed it out of there. But the grocery store manager doesn't like to have him sit outside…”

"What did he look like?"   
"What did who look like? The grocery store manager?"   
"No. The man with a knife…" Oh yeah, that made more sense. I considered his question. Why ask me that? It's not like police would come here and do anything about a suspected attempted crime. The man hadn't actually gotten around to doing anything that harmed me. Without that police were less than useless.

"I don't know. Hum…" I closed my eyes briefly trying to bring up the memory clearly. "...middle aged. Dark jeans and a hoodie. Kinda chubby. Dark short hair. Dark eyes, probably brown. Had a cloth mask over the bottom of his lower jaw though...but that describes a lot of people. It's not like I'd report that to the police around here anyway. Wouldn't do any good. And he didn't get anywhere close to me since he ran away seeing Bjorn. I don’t think a ghoul would have run from a dog..."

I peered up at Uta to see he was looking straight ahead as we walked. "Why…?" When I didn't get a response from the ghoul I tried asking again. Still getting nothing from him but a shrug. After that I decided to change the subject since this one wasn’t getting far.

"Your tattoos...do they all mean something to you? Like the one on your throat. You told me the translation for it. But it’s about the relationship between ghouls and humans, right?"   
“Yeah. It is. For the most part. A few of them I just liked the design.” I smiled as I got an answer from him again. “Did they hurt?” He held up his hand and looked at the ones that rode the back of his hand across the knuckles and bones. “These did a little bit. But we heal pretty fast.”  
“They’re all so detailed. They must have taken so long to do. I don’t know if I could sit still for so long. Especially if it hurt.”  
“Do you want tattoos?” I laughed softly and imagined my mother's response if I ever had one. Not that her opinion mattered; but she’d be furious. All the more reason to do it. “I don’t know. Maybe. When I see them on someone else it reminds me how much I like them. Guess I never got around to it. I only got my ears pierced about a year ago.”

“If you want I can do piercings or tattoos. I might have the tools…” I glanced up at the ghoul who looked...a little bit hopeful. Maybe I was reading this wrong though. “Really? You wouldn't mind...?"  
“Yeah. My piercing tools are made of quinque steel but it’ll work fine on you. I’ll need to find some tattooing equipment for you though. I’m not sure I should use the same one on a human...” That was tempting. I might actually take him up on that offer. After I’d gotten the first earrings I’d been thinking I’d get a second set of holes in my ears; but never had the time or money to go for it. Seeing someone like Uta with so many piercings and tattoos…  
Well it made me want some of my own.

“Have you got any ideas on what you want?” 

“I do actually. I was thinking maybe a second lobe piercing above the ones I already have? And maybe one of those rings in the cartilage." I peered up at his ears with all his piercings and pondered. I had heard that the cartilage did hurt a bit more than the lobe though. I was never all that great at pain tolerance and I nearly cried when I'd had the first piercings done. "I've got a few pretty vague ideas as far as tattoos. I can maybe sketch out some doodles for ideas and you can refine them a bit into your own style? What's wrong with the tattooing equipment you have?"

Uta's eyes were turned towards my neighbors house as I fumbled for my keys. He was fixing the apartment across the way with a hard stare but he looked down at me briefly when I asked. He nodded to my first question then added: "It may harm you. Our skin is tougher. So it may be too strong and bruise you." I glanced towards Ms. Kirin's doorway where his eyes had been locked. That old woman still would haunt my dreams some nights and I was happy I hadn't seen much of her since the incident with her. I stepped inside my apartment where Bjorn jumping around happily upon my return. As per the norm. "Um...Uta do you want to come in?"

He shook his head but his lips twitched into a small smile. "Thanks, but no. I'm meeting Itori-chan and some other friends soon. Stay home, okay?" I frowned; eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the advice. "...why?"  
"It's...probably a bad night to be out tonight." He seemed to be keeping something back deliberately. I wanted to pry and find out what he wasn't saying but I instead I decided it may be better not knowing. "Okay. I will. Goodnight?"

"Night. Ai-chan. Stay home."

"Stay safe..." I said quietly and then more loudly called after him. "And visit the cafe tomorrow! The manager keeps having me practice making the coffee...maybe I can make you another cup!" I saw his head turn and a gleam of red. "I'll be there."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Already working on another chapter!~  
> Thank you all for your comments! <3


	13. Chapter 13: Turmoil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annnd now... Aika might need some therapy. Or a hug.
> 
> (Blood/Gore/ Cannibalism(?) Warning!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had the day off so I decided to write!~ May have a few errors since I wrote it so fast. XD  
> Whoops.

Chapter 13:

He was not here.

It was now past time for me to leave the cafe for the day and despite Uta’s assurance that he would come for a cup of coffee today; he was not here. I wanted to feel annoyed but I only felt...dread and worried. I hadn’t considered Uta to be someone who would flake out of something he said he was going to do. I’d even sent him a text message to remind him.

But that went unanswered as well.

I didn’t voice my concerns but at the end of the day Mr. Yoshimura stopped to ask me if I was doing alright. It must have shown on my face at some point that I was worried. I shook my head and told him that everything was fine. I mentioned I hadn't heard from Uta but he didn't seem concerned about it. It was probably nothing.

Uta had only gotten busy and didn't have time to visit or answer his phone. Nothing to be concerned or annoyed about.

“See you tomorrow guys!” I waved to the people still working and headed out the door.  
I stared at my text messages while on the subway back towards home. Concern creased my forehead as I read and re-read my messages to and from him recently. He had not only not replied to my messages all day; He hadn’t even read them.

I stopped on my way back home at a coffee shop and picked up two coffees; one for myself and one for Uta. If he was busy then maybe he’d appreciate a coffee like I had brought him before? It wasn’t as good as Antieku’s but at least it would be hot when it got to him.

When I got to the front of his store I froze. My heart felt like it was in my throat as I looked at my phone’s time and then at the very obvious ‘closed’ sign on his shop. Closed? At this hour? I stood by the door and bit my lip. A nervous habit brought back under stress. I pushed his contact button and tried to call him instead of text. 

I could hear his phone’s ringing through the shop door but nothing else. Nobody answered and nobody moved inside. Something about this…seemed wrong. Off.

I adjusted the coffees carefully in my arms to free up a hand. I tried to knock at the door and wasn’t too surprised to get no reply. I didn’t want to be caught outside lingering for long though and decided to try the door even though it said closed. To my surprise the handle turned. It had been left unlocked and opened. Still biting my lip I stepped inside and closed the door behind me so nobody followed me in.

“Uta?” I called out loudly and waited.  
Nothing.  
“Uta your door was open...you didn’t show up and you're not answering any….messages…” I heard my voice crack the middle of my sentence. I was worried now. As I looked around I spotted his phone on his desk. Which was unusual but not impossible if he was close by. However a few other things looked out of place as well. Material was scattered and most alarmingly; there was a mask broken on the floor. The artist never would have left it there if it fell.

I put the coffee’s down and forgot about them as I moved towards the back of his shop; still looking for any sign of the mask maker. The door heading from the shop to the hallway/staircase to his living quarters was cracked open when normally it was shut tight. I paused at this doorway and called again. “Uta?”

Listening as hard as I could; I still heard nothing…

It occurred to me that maybe I should call someone else who knew him better to check on him. Maybe he was out and it would look really weird if I went into his apartment uninvited. I didn’t have Itori or Renjij’s numbers though. Only Yoshimura’s and I didn’t want to worry the old man about something. It could still be nothing. I hoped it was nothing.

I pushed the door open and stepped through. Looking up, I could see the door at the top of the stairway. It was wide open…  
“UTA?” I yelled a little louder over my heartbeat. I was at the top of the stairs and looking down at a few drops of blood on the ground. “Uta?” I called again.

What if whatever he’d done with Itori and his other friends had ended poorly. 

I stepped inside and spotted another splatter of blood. And another.

I followed it. A few drops here. A larger splattering there. All the way to the bedroom door. Blood on the door knob. “Uta!” I called much more urgently and knocked. This time; THIS time I did hear movement and a low groan. “....are you okay?” There was more shuffling. “I’m sorry for intruding...but you didn’t reply all day, your doors are all unlocked, your shops a mess and...there’s blood out here.”

I pressed my ear to the door and heard harsh breathing close by. Taking a peek under the door I could see a shadow. It seemed like whoever was inside was sitting upright against the door itself.   
“Ai-chan…” I heard from the other side and recognized it as being Uta's voice. Strained but still alive.

I tried the doorknob immediately forgetting the blood and frankly not really caring for now whose blood it was. It turned and the door fell open as the male leaning on it fell backwards and lay flat on the floor looking up at me. A hand held at his gut looked like it was the only thing keeping in his organs. His eyes which focused upon me were a brighter red than I’d ever seen them with wild red veins sprouting through them. “Uta... Oh my god…”  
I leaned down over him, hands hovering over his wounds while I was completely unsure of what to do. Hospital?  
No. He was a ghoul. They’d kill him. He could heal? How much? Could he heal THIS much? 

Should I call someone now? Yoshimura? Or maybe see if Uta had Renji or Itori’s phone number someplace. 

“...Fridge…” I looked at him unable to suppress my horror at seeing him like this. “W-what?” He looked like he was in pain. Speaking probably hurt him. The cut across his gut wasn’t his only wound but it looked like the most serious one. It had me the most concerned at the moment. I had no idea how serious this was for his kind. “...in my fridge...please…? Hungry...”

I gazed down with wide, teary eyes at a ghoul whom i cared for; unsure if he was dying or not, was asking me to look in his fridge? For food. With hitching breath I stammered out an affirmative mutter, got up and dashed away from him. Leaving him laying on the floor as I sprinted to his kitchen. The kitchen looked for the most part unused with very few appliances save for a coffee machine, a fridge and a microwave. I paused with my hand on his fridge door. Human...meat. That was what he was needing. I hoped that if he ate, he would heal.

I yanked it open and just about passed out on my feet as I stared into a crime scene. I could probably have forgotten about the arm and leg wrapped in saran wrap. Or the organ meat stuffed into Tupperware. Even the jar full of oogling brown eyes didn’t catch me up quite like the whole human torso of some poor chubby man. There were already bites taken out of it. The only saving grace was I saw no head.

I grabbed a Tupperware with what looked like a liver and an arm from the fridge and fought my gag reflex as I slammed the door shut again. I didn’t look down at what I was carrying; only sprinted back towards my wounded friend. He turned his head towards me as I came back. He still lay on his back where I’d left him. 

I was shaking as I dropped the arm next to him with a thunk and knelt down holding the plastic container filled with human organs. He was watching me with his brilliantly bloody red kakugan. Silently like a predator.   
I froze and stared back; like prey. A deer in headlights. He finally blinked and broke eye contact to look at what I’d brought him. He tried to sit up and grab the arm but fell back immediately with a hiss. “...f-fuck...they did a number on me.”

Seeing he was unable to move around properly on his own I took the top off the tupperware lid with shaking hands. My hands were already bloodstained from the doorknob but as I opened the container cold partially coagulated blood spilled across my fingers in rivers. I gazed down into the container of organs and blood with an uneasy stomach. I heard him sniffing and turned my gaze towards the ghoul who looked back up at me; bleeding on the floor and holding in his own guts.

“...don’t bite me. Okay?”

I realized as I moved slowly, bringing the plastic container closer to his lips, how much this felt like treating a feral animal. I felt a little bad at the comparison, but I still didn’t think it was incorrect. He was hurt...and hungry. I placed the container at his lips and tipped it so blood could spill out into his mouth slowly. I was careful to let him swallow; the last thing I needed was to accidentally choke him on top of everything else. A small chunk of liver fell into his mouth and he chewed and swallowed it. After that I was thankful when he reached up and took the container from my shaking hands and began to feed himself.  
I scooted back a little, leaned against the wall of the hallway and trembled; All while listening to him eat his ‘food’. When he finished the liver and blood bowl he placed it aside and lay still. Recovering slowly. “...Ai-chan...you... You can go...I’ll heal.” He said softly; still strained but better. He already sounded much better.

I took a shaking breath and shook my head. “J-just eat…If you need more I’ll get up for it.” I muttered, tucking my head to my knees. And then added. “Don’t eat the plastic wrap on the arm, dummy…”

I couldn’t watch him. I’d lose my nerve if I did. If I saw him eating a whole limb. Something human shaped like that. The eyes had been one thing but stripping meat off an arm, right off the bones that looked like mine...I knew I’d flee. I wasn’t ready for that. The organ’s had been one thing; A liver was a liver. I'd gutted animals before. It's what you did when you hunted and one had to get use to that. Internal organs all pretty much looked the same unless you really paid attention. I could fool myself. But not with the arm. So I kept my eyes averted from him as he managed to sit up and unwrap the limb.   
I tried to tune out the sounds, but I could still hear it. I'd probably hear it like I'd heard the cracking of Mr. Fuji's skull days after and in my nightmares.

Flesh tearing, teeth against bone, and chewing. 

I don’t know how long it took him to finish it, but when the noises finally stopped I opened my eyes. “...Ai-chan...You can look.” I did hesitantly look up. He was seated upright now. Blood stained his face and clothes; a mixture of his own and his meals. His Kakugan looked a little dimmer now, less fierce and more friendly. More like Uta normally looked to me. The bones from the arm were missing. I suspected he’d tossed them someplace I couldn’t see. For once he was actually not purposely messing with me.

“ I’m sor---”

“Are you okay?” I interrupted, looking at him with a trembling lip. Actually, all of me shook like a leaf. Fear and relief were such clashing emotions and my body didn't have a clue how to react. Run away or hug him. “Y-your stomach was…” I looked at his gut, it looked fine. He looked...good actually. Healthy color and no visible cuts or huge disembowelment visible. Apart from being covered in blood and his clothes were completely fucked. He’d healed up quickly as he ate. I’ll be amazed later when I have a chance to get over the rest of this trauma.

“...is Itori-chan and your friends okay?” I asked not giving him much time to get a word in edgewise. “They’re fine...far as I know.” He groaned as he stood up. He seemed to think about offering me his hand and help up as well; but thought better of it when he looked at them. Uta gave me a glance before retreating back into his room and shutting the door.

I suddenly felt a wave of nausea hit me and I moved towards the bathroom on hands and knees where I emptied my stomach contents into the toilet. I was still hung around the toilet, the door to the bathroom left wide open, when he came back out and spotted me. He was cleaned up. No blood around his mouth or on his hands. He’d changed his clothes into a fresh set and had put this hair back into it’s usual style.  
He looked like a normal Uta. Not like the beaten up and bloody Uta that just ate a human arm and liver.

“You okay…?” He asked, even softer than I’d ever heard him speak. I must look absolutely awful. You could always tell how bad you looked in situations like these based on how people talked to you. The only other time I could think of was when I’d come to Uta from bashing in my bosses skull. He'd spoken pretty softly to me then as well. If I had thought of him as a wounded, feral animal before he must now think I was a skittish, frightened mouse. “I’m okay…” I muttered into the toilet. “...can...can you get me a glass of water?”

“Yeah. Wait here…” I wasn’t going anywhere fast for now. I didn’t trust my legs to hold me.   
I listened as he went to the kitchen, brought out a glass and filled it with tap water. A glass of water was brought back and some wet paper towels along with it. I took it thankfully and swished some water around my mouth and spat it into the toilet. The rest I drank and then wiped my face with the damp paper towels.

I was surprised as the male shuffled under his sink cabinet and brought out a brand new toothbrush and travel toothpaste. “Here…?” Considering how empty his kitchen looked it was surprising how well prepared he was for this. I wouldn’t complain though. I’d be thankful to get the taste of it out of my mouth. “Thanks. You ARE better, right?”

“Yeah. For the most part. A little sore…” He grunted as he stood back up. “Gotta get this place cleaned up. If Itori see’s this...” He peered down at me still on the tile floor of the bathroom; hand held up to him. “Help me up..” I muttered. He grasped my arm, pulled me up to my feet and held me steady by my shoulders until I could lean on the sink. 

“If you need me, call.” I didn’t reply out loud but nodded and he walked out of the bathroom to give me space. I appreciated it immensely. I opened the toothbrush and paste and began to brush the taste of vomit out of my mouth and off my teeth and tongue.

Outside the bathroom the ghoul began to clean up his apartment; making sure to wipe up blood splatters and hand prints off of things. I leaned out of the bathroom and muttered as he passed. “...your front door to the shop is unlocked still. If you got the keys I can lock it for you…” He paused and shuffled around his pants pockets before remembering he was wearing a new pair. “I’ll get it…don’t worry about it.”

He disappeared into his room while I slunk over to his couch and collapsed there. Uta had been the one hurt but I felt like the stress of the last hour had beaten me down physically. I listened to the sound of the ghoul wander around his apartment without moving to look at him once. First he left the apartment to lock the store up and then came back continue his cleaning. I could smell bleach as he cleaned blood and heard him sweep up something broken from the floor.

A while later Uta came to the couch, moved my legs and sat down; letting my limbs fall back over his lap as he lounged. I opened my eyes and looked at him. We were both exhausted.  
“...want to watch a movie?”

It was such a normal question that was so out of place right now that I giggled; a few tears sprung to my eyes. I shook my head in disbelief as I laughed. “You're not even going to tell me what put you in that condition? Don’t you think you owe me that?”

I pulled my legs off his lap and sat up a little more on the couch; waiting for an answer. Expecting one. Demanding some explanation for why all this had happened. “I asked you to stay home because some of my friends went hunting in the area. I didn’t want any one of them catching wind of you. I didn't want to worry you though...” That explained why he’d asked me to stay inside the night before but not how he had a hole ripped into his abdomen. “...on the way back some CCG agents ambushed me. They got in a few hits…” I immediately scoffed at him. “You were very nearly disemboweled Uta! Don’t act like they gave you a black eye. What if I hadn’t shown up!? Would you have been okay?”

He made a noncommittal noise and a shrug that I didn’t take as a very good sign. “...I’d have gotten back to the fridge eventually…”

“Back? Did you already eat and heal some before I found you!?” I recalled the torso in the fridge had a few large bite marks taken out of it. The liver in the Tupperware had been pretty fresh, if they all belonged to one person the corpse was probably no more than a day old. If he'd already eaten before I'd even come then he'd somehow been worse than how i'd found him.

I picked up a side pillow from the couch and tossed it at the ghouls head. “...And you're going to act like it’s nothing!? How long were you laying there?! Since last night?” He caught the pillow and looked over it at me as though I’d pull out more ammo to fire at him. Sadly the one pillow was all I had; I wanted to beat him with it. “...”  
I lay back down and exhaled a long drawn out breath; hand resting over my eyes. There was too much happening in my brain right now. It hurt. This was sure to turn into a migraine. “...there’s coffee downstairs on your desk. But I guess it’s probably cold by now…” I wasn’t sure how to act right now. I’d….fed him human body parts. The arm I’d brought him wasn’t some prop or fake. It was a person. HAD been a person.

He’d EATEN IT.   
Them?   
It.

“...thanks.” I wondered if he knew just how to deal with this situation either. Was it weird to him that he had a human friend, in his apartment, who just helped feed him parts of another human being?

“There’s a broken mask on the floor down there…” I added even though I’m pretty sure he’d already seen it when he’d gone to close his door.

“I accidentally knocked it over on my way in last night…”

“...can you fix it? Or do you need to start from scratch.” 

“I’ll make a new one. That had been for display. Not from an order. Thankfully it's no rush.”

“...have you seen Pan’s Labyrinth?”

♥

We watched 'Pan’s Labyrinth'. Well, first I went home, cried into Bjorn's neck fuzz, took him out for a potty break and fed him. I made sure I washed my face to hide the tears before I went back to Uta's. Bjorn came with me and laid in front of the couch where I sat and never left my side.

Neither of us knew Spanish so we watched with subtitles. He got up and grabbed the jar of eyes from the fridge and began snacking on them halfway through.  
"If you're still hungry for more than that…I..can leave." I offered, knowing there was no way I could sit through another limb being eaten. At least not at the moment. I still needed time to mentally reconcile and deal with the first one.

"I can eat after you go home. These are just a snack..." I nodded and silently thanked him for choosing not to consume another arm or leg near me. Near the end of the movie I was getting sleepy. Too much stress in one day and my body up and decided Enough was enough. 

I stood at his doorway ready to leave for a moment. He was peering at me with that blank expression he wore like a mask. I took a step closer. Then another. I flung my arms around him to hug him. In the battle between 'Hug' or 'flee'; Relief and Fear.  
Hug won out. I was too relieved that he was okay to be afraid of him. I was too worn out to run away at any rate. "I'm so glad you're okay..." I muttered into his shoulder. The man hissed under his breath as I hugged him. 

"Gently...gently. Still stomachs still...sore." He grunted, but looped one arm around to return the hug. I let up on my grip, surprised that he hurt. I really had to wonder how bad off he had been if he was still hurting. I took a step back and he released me and ushered me out the door with my dog. “Go straight home...my friends might still be hunting in the area….”

“...” I nodded and turned to leave down the stairs.

“Thank you Ai-chan…” I heard before the door click shut at the top of the stairs and locked closed.

♥

The next day I had to go to work. Headache or not. Emotional turmoil or not. That’s how being an adult worked. Repress that shit until you had time to deal with it!

I’d been right about the nightmares. There was no way to get around them. Unfortunately Uta was present in them. My brain couldn’t seem to choose what it wanted though. One nightmare I feared for Uta, injured or dead at the hands of the ccg or another ghoul - and the next he was the villain. The last of which had me gasping and sitting up in bed. He had been leaned over my own corpse as I watched from a distance as a ghost; his mouth bloody.

I took long stuttering breaths as I tried to slow my heart down.

I got around for work and headed out early. Touka seemed to notice that something was wrong because she kept looking up at me and fixing me with a long hard look. “Hey, did...something happen? Cause you seem quiet today.” She finally asked after an hour of cleaning in the quiet before we opened shop. Then she added. “I mean you're normally humming when you work and…”

I shook my head, already resolved to not tell anybody at work what had happened. She’d been mentioning about how there were more doves in this area now and everyone had to be careful - that was enough to worry about without them adding only human member of Anteiku having a mental breakdown. That and somehow I doubted that Uta would want everyone to know he’d been hurt at all. “I’m fine Touka, just a headache. Thank you.” I smiled weakly and I could see she was unconvinced.

I put on a happy mask for the day and served everyone just as I normally would. On my break I picked at the sandwiches made by the manager. I felt bad but my appetite was a little low at the moment. I looked up spotting the current news headline.

“....in recent news a man from the 4th ward was announced to be missing. Daisaku Kobayashi, Dai to his friends, was last seen this Tuesday leaving a local mini-mart. He was reported missing when he failed to return to work on Wednesday morning....” I stopped listening and stared open mouthed like a fish out of water at the tv. The picture they flashed of the missing man was the same that had come close to mugging me. Tuesday night. That meant whatever had happened must have been shortly after I’d run into him.  
And now he was missing.

“Are we not feeling well Ms. Aika?” The face of my elderly boss came into my visual tunnel and I blinked. Judging by his expression he looked incredibly concerned about me.“Y-yeah. I’m not really feeling like eating...I’m sorry.” He turned his head towards the Tv report and looked...sad. He hadn’t mentioned the idea of me moving again thankfully. “How about I pack those up for you to take home?” I nodded and smiled genuinely for the first time today. “Thanks sir…”

The day dragged onward and I marched forwards with it until it struck five and I was let out of the cafe with a little plate of sandwiches and a text from Uta asking if I wanted to hang out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Went from FLUFF to ANGST or Emotional turmoil pretty fast. (but this is Tokyo Ghoul, it's not all sunshine, rainbows and fluff!~)
> 
> I can just imagine the Pokemon theme "Who's that Pokemon" applied as "Who's that CORPSE?"  
> Can annnybody guess? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


	14. Chapter 14: Sudden Shower

I stopped on my way home to grab another pair of coffee’s. One plain black coffee for my ghoul friend and another that was sweet and sugary for myself. I hoped that these wouldn’t go to waste like the ones that came before. Water began to fall from the sky as I left the local coffee shop. Within a minute I was stuck in a full downpour and trying to sprint towards the mask shop. The “Open” sign was turned forward in the front and I let myself in. Dripping wet, freezing and breathing hard from running so hard; I stayed on the front welcome mat and shivered. “S-s-s-shit. It s-s-started to rain so s-suddenly. Hi U-uta.”

“Ai-chan?” He looked surprised to see me; looking at the door I had just come through as though it had failed to warn him. "Sorry. I didn't meant to s-s-surprise you." I smiled apologetically. "You s-s-said we should hang out so I kind of just burst in. I'm still welcome, arn't i?"

"You are always welcome, Ai-chan. I was only surprise because ghouls don't smell very well when it rains like this. It wasn't suppose to rain today..." He exhaled a sigh as he explained. He seemed disappointed by the turn of events. I frowned; feeling as if I was today's unfortunate bearer of bad news. “S-sorry does t-that ruin your p-plans?” I sputtered out between shivers. "I was going to bring you someplace." He looked me over and put his current work down. "It’ll have to wait since it would be too dangerous in the rain." He stood up and started rummaging in cupboards of materials but came up empty handed when he couldn't find what it was he looking for. “Wait here...I have some towels up stairs.” I nodded and stayed right where I was so I didn’t drip water all over.   
At least my hands were still warm holding coffee. 

The ghoul didn’t take long to come back down with a few white towels in his arms. He placed one over my head to soak up the water in my hair and wrapped another around my shoulders. “There…” He tilted his head curiously at me while his eyes held my own in a vice grip. “How are you feeling?”

“Me? Right now I'm a little cold.” I looked at him owlishly from under the warm towels. I may not be able to avoid it for long but I didn't want to talk about how I felt about last night; not emotionally. Not yet. I was still sorting that all out. The towels helped with my shivering quite a bit for the moment and I could manage to stop stuttering. “You're the one that got his guts ripped out a day ago. How are you feeling!? Are you still sore?” I wanted to reach out and pull up his shirt to make sure that his stomach was actually in one peice along with the rest of him. Thankfully, unlike when I was drunk I had restraint and control over such wild impulses. I still flushed red though. Uta absently ran a hand over his stomach where the worst of his wounds had been. “No. Completely healed now.” He looked between the two cups in my hand and then back up to my eyes. A hopeful expression broke through his plain faced mask as he looked at the coffee cups in my hands.

“I’m guessing…” I held up the cup of plain coffee and wiggled it slightly towards him. An easy smile came back to me as I teased him with the coffee. It felt good to be able to smile still. “That you want this!~”

“Is it for me?”

“Who else would I grab plain coffee for Uta?” I held it out for him and he took it; taking a long, deep inhale of the emanating smell. “Do you have other ghoul friends I should know about Ai-chan?”

“Wellllll….” There was Shuu, but I hadn’t seen him since he’d showed up at the cafe a few weeks ago and Uta already knew about him. “I don’t know. I’m trying to get Touka to like me…not sure that's going all that well.” I pouted but inside I felt happy. I’d been nervous that I’d come back here to his shop and everything would be ruined beyond repair between the mask maker and I. I’d seen him briefly put back up that emotionless mask he had around everyone and I had been afraid. Not that he was a ghoul, or he ate people but that I’d be pushed away because of what I'd seen. But right now I found that I could still smile and laugh around Uta. With just a coffee he dropped his walls back down a little again. So there was some hope.

I think I knew how to get him to smile more again though; back to how we had been. 

“So...since your plan for the day is a little bit ruined. How about...We poke holes in my skin?" I gestured to an ear and grinned. "Although I need jewelry for that. We could take a walk down the street if you have an umbrella and see if ----” I could see his eyes light up instantly as I started mentioning piercings. “I have some I’ve never used. I always keep extra just in case.” He set down his coffee on his desk and started pulling open a few drawers. I couldn’t understand how he found anything in this organized disaster but he did. He pulled out a collection of metal rings, plugs and studs along with the needles he'd use for piercing. He shoved aside other work and splayed them out on the cleared area of his desk. “Pick any you like.”

Nobody could fault him for being unprepared. I looked over the collection of piercings all brand new in little plastic containers. “None of them are nickel, right?” I asked, making sure he remembered my allergy. The last thing I needed was to have a bad reaction to something that was shoved through my ears. I'd had that happen before and it was a bad time. “No. They’re all quinque steel.” He replied and I shot him a shocked look. For a material only the CCG was supposed to have - Uta sure did get his hands on a lot of it. “Is that okay? I mean having this?” He raised his eyebrows at me while his eyes seemed to be laughing. What a silly question. Having this metal was probably illegal - but then so was befriending ghouls. I doubted that anybody would be able to tell it was that special steel. “It's fine. I have it because It holds piercings better for me. But I haven't added any recently. Maybe I should?” He pondered the jewelry for a moment but looked up at me and waited for me to choose what I wanted.

I looked over what he’d pulled out and pointed out a small silvery ring. “I mentioned the cartilage ring here.” I touched my ear along the rim. “Would this work for it? Or maybe on the other side?” I thought aloud. “What do you think?”

“I think both.” I blushed a light pink as he picked up another ring to match and held them to my ears on either side of my face; his palms rested along my cheeks as they burned hot. Sometimes I wondered if he had any concept of personal space or if he broke it on purpose. “They look nice. And if you don’t like them you can take them out. They’ll heal. What do you think? Want to try it?” Uta stepped back only to then circle around behind me. The ghoul was already pulling my hair out of it’s ponytail and trailed his fingers through it as he waited for my answer. "Alright. Lets try it!" With the okay, Uta recollected my hair it into a neater bun so that all the hair was pulled away from my ears. “I was more worried about how much it’ll hurt. I’m really bad with pain. I don’t wanna start crying here!” My face was still bright pink as he gently touched my ears along where I planned on having the new jewelry. He leaned over one of my shoulders to look at my face close up. Very, very close to my already flushed cheeks. “You’ll hardly feel a thing. Trust me?” He seemed so happy about being allowed to add to my piercings. I wasn’t about to tell him no. Truthfully, I was pretty happy that he would do this: I had wanted these for a while.

“Y-yeah.”

“Good.” I could smell alcohol before the coolness of a swab hit my skin. “Now. Don’t move.” He softly whispered into one ear. I froze up and tensed, thinking I’d feel a sharp pain. Instead I was distracted as a cool hand wrapped around one side of my neck; his fingers cupped my pulse. “Your heart is racing Ai-chan.” 

“Well I told you I was nervous about the needle and….”

“All done.” He announced suddenly, a small smirk crossed his face as I sputtered out some confused words. “What do you mean ‘done’?” I turned my eyes, rather than my head afraid that I’d mess up and move after he told me not too. His hand slipped off my neck and pulse to my shoulders and spun me around on the chair to look in the mirror. “See? All done.” He pointed out the new steel earrings hanging from my ears.

I was looking at myself with two shiny new additions. All done indeed. “You did that while I was distracted!” I accused him with a smile and turned my head from side to side to look at it a little better. They looked pretty damn cool and I wasn't regretting this at all. “Did you feel them? You seem pretty easily distracted.” I could now feel them as my body caught up with what was done to it. However they didn't hurt nearly as much as I thought they would have. For the most part the skin mostly felt a bit warm and irritated from being pierced. The irritated 'hurt' pulsed with my heart but it was a long way off from making me cry. With a Tylenol later I’d feel right as rain.

“Or maybe you’re just very distracting!” I shot back while continuing to peer at the earrings in the mirror. I noticed that Uta hadn’t moved away. In fact, at my words he leaned in closer. Hovering a little too close around my shoulders. I could feel his breath on my neck and his fingers resting over my shoulder blades. “What makes me so distracting, Ai-chan?” I was caught off guard by how close he was and how low he'd spoken. I turned my head just enough so I could look into his eyes directly rather than the reflection of them. “I..oh...well…” I was at a loss for words to reply.

What wasn’t distracting? His eyes for one looked very distracting right at this moment. So was being this damn close.  
I was realizing a little late that what I’d said sounded a bit like I had been trying to flirt. Someone like Ken thought he looked scary or creepy based on how he was tattoo'd, his cloths and personality. But for me it was difficult most times to ignore how attractive he was. This close it was even harder. He chuckled as he let go of my shoulders and left my personal space as suddenly as he'd invaded it. “Make sure to clean those and wiggle them once in a while so they don’t stick and heal wrong.” 

“Y-yeah. I will…” I stumbled over my words as my face continued to darken down into a vibrant crimson shade. I decided he'd only been fucking with me again; getting under my skin with something stupid to play with me. It was much better than being shut out though. So I couldn't complain too much. With the distance between us restored I was finally able to breathe again. I gently touched one of the new rings on my ears and felt the cold steel trying to distract myself.

"As much as I'd love to do the other ones you wanted today. I'd wait until those two are healed a little." I nodded, unsure about the steadiness of my voice. He went to clean his tools with rubbing alcohol after using them on me. 

♥

I was heading back to work again. Now it was Friday. Uta and I had made new plans: Saturday night he said he’d take me to visit with Itori at her bar. Apparently this was a usual occurrence he tried to do every week. Then on Sunday he said he planned on taking me to the ‘surprise’ place he’d meant to before. Before it rained so suddenly. He wasn't telling me what it was though; hence the surprise. That hadn't stopped me from practically begging to know.  
He didn't crack though; only smirked at me as I tried. 

With my weekend plans ahead and my new earrings I was in a rather chipper mood going to work. This however was not a mood that was not reflected in the other employee’s of the cafe. As soon as I entered with a huge grin on my face I felt the somber mood strike me when nobody waved or smiled back at me. “...”

“What...happened?” Touka wouldn’t meet my gaze, only shouldering me out of the way and moving off to work further away from me. While nobody would tell me what had happened Irimi told me I should speak to the manager as soon as possible. I knocked on his office, feeling uncertain and nervous. “Ms. Aika? Hello dear. Come in.”  
“...what happened? Everybody is…” I looked back at the doorway towards the front. “Off.”

The manager sat down, gesturing that I do the same. Suddenly he looked so much older and weighted down by years of sadness. He took a long breath and nodded. “You also work here with us, so I’ll tell you...Last night after you left Ms.Ryouko Fueguchi and her daughter were attacked by a pair of doves. Unfortunately Ryouko did not get away while Hinami is currently in our care…”

I stared in shocked horror at the old man as he told me the news. “That...little girl’s mom…but…” But they were so nice. Those two, as far as I understood it, never even hunted. Why would the CCG go after ghouls like them when there were larger issues in other wards? The 20th ward was suppose to be peaceful and nice! “...is Hinami…” What was I going to ask? Is she okay? What a stupid question was that!? Of course she wasn’t okay! She had to be completely heartbroken. “...is she safe here?”

Mr. Yoshimura shook his head from side to side. “We're watching over her now but she can't be seen out and about. She will have to be sent to another ward to keep her safe. For now she’s upstairs resting. Touka and Ken are trying to make sure she eats, but it will be difficult on her….”

“Yes sir. If there’s anything I can do...?”

“Thank you Ms. Aika. Please. For now help make sure that the front is taken care of. With this many Doves in the area I hardly think we will be very busy, but it will be nice if you can help as much as you can to keep everything in order. And if you see anyone carrying any attache's into the cafe tell me as secretly as possible.”

♥

I tried to reclaim my cheerful mood, at the very last as a mask I could wear to smile at customers. But even that became hard to do as I watched the others work listlessly. On top of that the news was still reporting that guys missing report. I stopped working and looked up at the TV when the report got an update.

“...in the latest report regarding the missing persons case of Daisaku Kobayashi. An eyeless severed head was found mangled. It is believed that the head belonged to the missing man as it was found in an alleyway just a few blocks from his last known location. A dental record is currently being run for a final conclusion. This is believed to be the latest in the recent ghoul predation events in the area. What can you tell us about the victim’s condition? Well. After some analysis by the forensic team it’s believed that he died the night before he was reported missing…after last months brutal murder of a local store manager and now this the 4th ward is looking rather dangerous. Thank you...In other news....”

"Ms. Aika?" I looked down at a regular customer I was suppose to be helping and forced a smile and nervous chuckle. "I'm sorry! I got distracted. The news has been getting really crazy lately hasn't it...what is it that I can get you?" 

"Black coffee as usual Ms." I nodded and flashed a cheerful smile before heading back to Irimi to get his order. I walked it over and apologized again for my absent mind before heading back to the cafe’s counter.

Eyeless, Mangled head left behind near where I'd last seen him.   
Eyeless...  
Who did I know that like eyes…  
What was worse what I told Uta about the mugger the day after it happened. I’d even described the guy and he’d been very...quiet. Unusually quiet, even for Uta.

"Irimi can you…"

"Are you okay Aika? You look a little green…" The woman leaned over the counter and looked at my face, concern obvious in her eyes. I know this was the last thing they needed to hear about or deal with but I felt sick. "Bathroom." I muttered and sped towards the room and closed myself off. I leaned over the toilet gasping. I felt faint, the room felt small and too warm as I leaned against the door; just struggling to breathe.

The news said he’d died the same night that I’d seen him; correct? I couldn’t account for Uta’s location; only that he’d left Anteiku before I had. Then there was the corpse in his fridge. Part of which I’d fed to the ghoul himself…Uta had everything in there except for the head. I'd seen chocolate brown eyes in a jar oogling back at me.   
The torso was similar in stature as the missing - now dead - man. 

I heard a knock at the door and flinched. “Ms. Aika?” I heard the gentle old man's voice float through the door. “Are you alright? Ms. Irimi said you had run off looking quite ill.”

“Y-yeah…” I sputtered nervously. “Just...felt a little sick for a minute. Give me just a minute please.” I splashed water into my face and looked at myself in the mirror. So...Uta may have killed the guy. It’s not like I didn’t know that he hunted for his food. Yoshimura had even warned me that Uta didn’t get his meat the same way the ghouls at Antieku did. 

I had foolishly turned away my friend's offer to walk me home even though he said he didn’t mind. If Bjorn hadn’t been there with me that night the missing person might have been ME rather than the other guy. 

I pulled out my phone and sent Uta a quick text.

Aika: Have you seen the news reports lately?  
I waited a minute and saw he'd seen my text and was typing back.  
Uta: No. Been busy. Y?  
Aika: Okay. I'll tell you later.   
Uta: Okay

I made sure to wipe my face again before I exited the room with a smile back on my face. "I'm fine sir. Just a weird dizzy spell."   
I don't think they believed me entirely but I continued working since I knew it wasn't contagious. Just a moment of human panic.

♥

"Ms. Aika I know you were feeling ill earlier. Are you feeling better?"  
I nodded and smiled as the manager gave me a concerned look over. “It really wasn’t anything to worry about Sir. I was just feeling overwhelmed.”

"I hate to ask this of you but could you help us later tonight? I’ll see if Yomo can walk you to the station. Touka has gone out…” I could see that he looked unhappy with the young woman's absence and I wondered why that was. He seemed supportive of her school work and I couldn't think of any other reason she'd miss work for. “Did she have school work that’s late or something?” He shook his head but didn’t reply further than that. Not wanting to pry any further I added. “I can cover it though either way. Don’t worry about it!” I gave him a thumbs up and a goofy grin, trying to lighten the mood. I couldn’t say I wasn’t happy to put off speaking to Uta about the missing dead man. “Thank you...with everything happening…”

“How’s Hinami doing? Has Ken and Touka gotten her to eat?” He peered at me for a moment but shook his head. “No…she’s not doing very well.”

“Sir...I don’t want to pry. Maybe it’s out of place because I’m not a ghoul…” I dropped my gaze when I felt too awkward. The thought that what I was asking was going to be too much. I knew I did a good job here but did I fit in here when I wasn’t like them? “... but could I talk to Hinami?”

“Hum...You may not be a ghoul Ms. Aika but we’ve all enjoyed you being here. Don’t be concerned about that. As far as Hinami. Well I can’t see any problem with it. She is upstairs. It may brighten her day to see someone other than Touka and Ken. I know she quite enjoyed that dog of yours. She spoke of hardly anything else after you brought him in that first time...perhaps you could go get him?”

That was right!!! She had really liked to brush out Bjorn when I brought him in, maybe a dog was just what she needed to feel a little better. “Yeah! I can get him and bring him back here!”

♥

And so I did. I sent Uta an update saying there had been a change of plans and I wouldn’t be back until later since the manager asked me to stay. I didn’t get a reply right away from the ghoul and didn’t have time to stop into his shop to say hello as I picked up Bjorn. If I did stop at the mask shop I was afraid I’d get distracted again.

Back at the Cafe; I brought my dog up to the second floor guided by Yoshimura as he showed me where Hinami was sleeping. He knocked and opened the door, letting me in. “Hinami...you have a visitor. Ms. Aika came to see you.”

I could see the little lump on the couch move as the little girl peeked her head up to look at me and Bjorn as we entered. “Hey there Hinami-chan…” I smiled very weakly. “I brought Bjorn to see you. I thought you could use some good old doggy slobbers!” Bjorn was a smart dog; sometimes it was kind of scary. With a nudge he walked over to the little girls side and looked at her before laying down beside the couch. I watched as she slipped a hand outside the blankets and patted his fur. A small smile crept onto her trembling lips.  
I moved to sit down near her, kneeling next to the couch. “Hey there…”

“Hi…” She looked so small has she huddled under the blanket. “I hear that you’re not eating...?”  
I watched her eyes get wide; looking at me like I had grown another head. “You shouldn’t do that.” I said, continuing to speak softly to her to coax her out and listen to me. “I didn’t eat for nearly a week and I almost made myself really sick. I know you're really sad right now but I don’t think your family would want you to get sick. You need to eat...and I’d be really sad too if you got sick.”

“But...you’re human. Why would you…” She pulled back further into her blanket cocoon. I suppose it was strange for the little girl; a human telling her to eat when what she ate was dead people. “Because I know you Hinami. Please don’t hide from me. I’m not a scary human! I promise.”

I waited patiently for her to relax. Bjorn lifted his head up and set it on the couch near her hidden head. After a minute she sat up, pulling the blanket with her and peering out from under it. She leaned forward and sniffed at me. “You smell like Uta-sama…are you his girlfriend?”

“W-hat!? G-girlfriend? N-no!” I held up my hands defensively while my face burned supernova hot. “No! He’s a friend! I just hang out with him a lot lately.” I sniffed at my sleeve wondering what she smelled on me that made her think that. I heard her giggle as she looked at me, letting the blanket fall away.

I heard a knock at the door and I turned to see the manager come in. A plate full of bloody meat was in his hands. “Hinami, would you try eating again please…?” My stomach tightened when the meat was presented, but after a second it loosened up and I relaxed. I didn’t feel sick or panicky like I had with Uta’s fridge. Chopped up like this it kind of just looked like...any other meat. Without the context of what KIND of meat it was I might have craved it based on sight alone. 

“I’ll try…” Hinami sat up as the plate was placed in front of her. Her eyes that void black and red I was use to seeing with Uta. “Ms. Aika. Perhaps you’ll help me with something while she eats?”

“Yeah of course! I’ll see you Hinami.” I turned to Bjorn, the dog started to stand but stopped when I held up a hand. “Stay. Stay Bjorn.” He grumbled but sank to the ground and laid there. “Good Boy. Treats when you get home…Promise.”

I followed the manager out of the room, leaving the dog there for Hinami to have comfort and company. “Thank you Ms. Aika…”  
“I didn’t really do anything…” Shrugging, I brushed off his thanks until I felt a hand on my shoulder. “You did quite a bit. More than anyone could have expected from you.”

“Some ghouls like Ms. Fueguchi are peaceful and don’t like hunting or hurting humans. After all, humans and ghouls can in some ways be very similar apart from our diets. Depression is not unusual as we struggle to accept our place in this society. Trying to play a part yet stay separate and safe…”

“It’s a balancing act. A tightrope.” I said, remembering what Uta had said to me before. 

“Exactly…” He guided me to a little kitchenette and closed the door. The old man began to get out some things to make coffee. “Here. Why don’t you try to make a few cups. One for Hinami and myself, and you too.” 

“Coming from you, I think that it helped her more than hearing it from us.” I looked up from my coffee project briefly to see that he was smiling. I smiled back and continued brewing the blend. I hope that I had helped her. As much as humanly possible. If she needed someone, a human, to tell her that it was going to be okay. I could do that.

“I’m happy to help Sir.” I heard my phone chime as a text message came in but ignored it until I had three cups of coffee in front of me all done. Mr. Yoshimura nodded his head in approval after he took a sip of his. “This is very good...you’ve learned quickly.”

“I’ve had the best teacher.”  
“I think, Ms. Aika that it’s because you care about the people you're making coffee for. The effort you put into a cup shows.” He took another sip and let out a satisfied sigh. I pulled out my phone and saw a new message from Uta.

Uta: Want me to pick you up later?  
Aika: I thought you were busy? I think Mr. Yoshimura was going to ask Renji if he would walk me to the station.  
There was a long pause between texts and I smiled up at my boss. “Did you ask Renji if he was able to walk with me to the station yet? It’s probably safer...”

“Oh. Yes! He will be here after he’s done picking up some food for us here. If he won't another member of the staff will be happy to walk with you I’m sure.” I nodded, hoping silently that Renji would be willing to walk with me. I knew him from my trips to Helter Skelter at least. 

Not that Irimi or Koma wouldn’t be terrible companies to the station either. 

“Could you take this back to Ms. Hinami. She should be done eating by now...make sure to knock. Some ghouls really hate to be seen eating. And it may be uncomfortable for you to see.”

“I don't mind too much. Uta eats in front of me. “ I said, speaking before I thought. Again.  
“Hum...does he?” The manager looked curious as he looked down at me. 

“Uh...yeah...um. He likes to snack on eyes like they’re candy.” I laughed it off as I remembered looking down at his pale face as he drank down blood and liver. “Anyway, I’ll get this too her before it’s cold.” I picked up my cup as well as Hinami’s and headed out of the room back to where the little girl had been left before he could ask more questions. I knocked and waited until I heard a small voice tell me it was okay.

“Here you go Hinami! You need to tell me how good it is because I’m new at making coffee! Okay? I need a pro coffee aficionado’s opinion!” I smiled as the little girl lit up and took a big sip of the drink I’d brought her.

“You made this?” She looked down at it with a sparkle in her eye. “It’s so good! It really, really is!”

♥

I stayed with her for a while longer, forgetting completely that I was supposed to be helping with the cafe until late, including cleaning up. “Oh shoot!” I stood up quickly, startling the little girl who looked at me with large eyes. “I was supposed to help out the others clean up tonight!!!” I rubbed a hand over my face and groaned. “I swear I’m completely useless…”

“No you aren't!” Hinami looked up at me and shook her head vigorously from side to side. “You’re great! I’ll tell them!!!” I would argue that wasn’t necessary but then again they’d probably like to see her up and about. I watched as she got up and placed on a wig and a hat before running to the door to the down stairs cafe. “Come on! Race you down stairs!”

Bjorn got up and followed as I hesitantly jogged after the girl, meeting her at the bottom as she cheered that she won. “You're so fast!” I looked up to see Irimi and Koma who each had a smile on their face. The cafe was already cleaned up and it looked like everything had already been taking care of. “I’m so, so, so sorry guys. I got caught up talking with Hinami and…”

“Ai-san is great!” I blinked, looking as the girl threw her arms around my waist and held onto me. I rested a hand gently on her head and pet a hand through her hair. “It’s fine Aika.” Their eyes rested on the little girl around my middle with kind smiles. 

“Hinami it’s good to see you again! You worried us!” 

I watched as the little girl pulled away and went to chat with her fellow ghouls. “Hey…” I turned around to see that Renji had snuck up on me while I was distracted by the small ghoul girl. “Oh, Renji hi!”

“Yoshimura said you might need someone to walk you to the station since it was late.”  
Nodding I smiled sheepishly. “Yeah, I’m sorry to ask...but I’d really appreciate it.”  
He nodded his head and gestured to the door. “I’ll take you back now.”  
“Oh, okay! Let me just make sure the manager didn’t want me to do anything else before I left...I kind of got away with doing nothing all night...I feel kind of bad.”

Renji turned his head towards the little gathering of ghouls behind the counter. “It looks like the time was well spent…” I could see that was probably true as the little girl smiled again. It wasn’t quite like how I’d first seen her, but it was a healing smile. She was back on track and that was a wonderful thing. “Yeah...maybe.”

I said goodbye to everyone and left with Renji after speaking to the manager. He walked up to an old car and got into the drivers side. “Get in.”  
“You’ve got a car?” I asked as I stepped up to it and looked it over. He didn’t reply, keeping quiet as I buckled up my seat belt. “I honestly thought I’d be walking again since it’s not that far to the station.”  
The man started the car and we drove in silence to the subway station, parked and let me out. He followed me all the way to the subway car doorway and...right onto the train. “Are you...coming with me too?”

“Uta would kill me if he found out I left you to walk through the 4th ward on your own…” Renji said softly, looking down at me. “Oh. That's okay I...." I thought back to the mugger and stopped. I wasn't going to turn away help again. "Thank you Renji. I really appreciate it.” I plopped down into a seat on the subway car and relaxed. “Hey, do I smell like Uta somehow? Hinami said I did…” I was sure I had definitely taken a shower and cleaned my clothes. So I couldn’t understand why I would smell like the ghoul. Renji raised his eyebrows at me before leaning in slightly sniffing. He was quiet for a few moments before replying.   
“A little bit…."

I sniffed my shirt sleeve again, still not understanding as all I smelled was coffee and laundry detergent. “You should be careful around him. He’s dangerous.” I glanced up at the silver haired ghoul from the my shirt sleeve. I’d never been alone with him before or spoken all that much despite the fact that he was apparently close friends with Uta. I was surprised to hear him speak about his friend like this to me. “Aren't you two friends…?”

“Yeah. I suppose…"

“Well aren't all ghouls a little dangerous?” I smiled faintly, meaning it to be a joke. But he didn’t smile back, only turning his head away to avoid looking at me. “He’s more than just ‘a little dangerous’. Just be careful.”

“I’ll be okay.”

"He could still kill you…" I couldn't argue about that but I didn't think he would at this point. Someday I could walk into his shop when he was just a little too hungry. But then again I'd walked in while he was injured and hungry and walked away from it alive. Renji didn't know that though. I played with the new piercings in my ears, flinching a little at the soreness. "So could a lot of things Renji. Sickness or an accident. Some other ghoul...or some human wacko with a knife…" I trailed off and muttered the last part. I thought of the man who also had the chance to do that.  
"Heck, I could be arrested and executed by the same people who hunt down you guys at this point…" I thought of that investigator that had been at my old work after my ex-boss had died. Those people were dangerous not only to my friends now...

They'd come after me too if they knew how close I was to the ghouls.  
♥

Renji walked me to Uta's door rather than my own and left me there. “Goodnight Renji.” I said as he left. He was just a quiet guy I suppose. Man of few words. It was after hours for Uta’s shop so I wondered why he’d left me here anyway ---

The door cracked open and Uta’s head popped out to look at me. Renji already disappeared into the night. “H-hey! Renji just dropped me off and sped off…he said he had something else to do.”

“Want to come in?” It was late, but then again it was a friday night. The weekend plans I had were with Uta and his ghoulish friends at the bar so I could stay up later without worry. “Sure.”

Bjorn went to lay down in a corner that he’d claimed as his own when I visited here; staring at us with his large judgmental doggy eyes. When I was inside I could see that Uta was still working beyond his store hours. The desk lamp was on illuminating that corner so he could work in the dark.

I grabbed a broom and started to sweep up the glitter that was still here from the other day. “Ai-chan you don’t have to do that.”  
“I want to. And you can forget about paying me for it…” I glanced at masks that were new since I’d even met the man. He worked so hard on each one and yet he made so many. He hadn’t had the chance to clean up the shop when he worked so hard. “If you want you can get me a drink tomorrow. And make sure I don’t get drunk again like last time.” I shoot him a smile as he looked at me, working in his shop. “I just want to help a little. And I can do this. Okay?”

He looked down at his work on his desk and shrugged. “Okay. If you want too.”  
I worked in the quiet sweeping and dusting off his shop until it looked nice and clean again.  
"...do you think I should put in another piercing?" I turned away from a new mask on display look him over. He was holding piercings again. I wondered just where he planned on putting it since he'd already had quite a few. He got his tools around and picked out another piece from his collection of steel jewelry. "Ai-chan?" He turned to me and held it up for me to see. "Where should a new one go?"  
"You're asking me? What if you don’t like it?”

“I can just pull it out and it’ll heal. Don’t worry.” Oh. That was true. If he could heal from what he had last night then this would be less than a bee sting. "Well...maybe try the other side. Here." I pointed to my lip. "So you'd have a pair of snake bites."  
I watched as he shoved the needle through the skin of his lip with some effort. He didn't even flinch! He followed through by popping the ring in before the hole could heal so it was even with the other side. Although it did match his style I wasn't sure I liked it. "Well...maybe not." 

He looked in a the mirror and seemed to agree; pulling it back out and looking over himself. The hole from where I sat seemed to disappear within a few moments as though it never had been there. His tongue darted out to lick the previously pierced area and sweep up a little spot of blood. "Do all your piercings do that? Close right back up?"

"Some of the older ones take longer to heal but they shut if I leave them." He held the ring up to his other eyebrow and seemed to contemplate it. "What about a tongue ring Ai-chan?"

"I think that would get in the way of eating...? How would you ever lick your eyeball snacks with that?" I grinned playfully; adding. "On second thought. The tongue ring is a great idea!~"

"So cruel. Ai-chan wants me to starve."

I flinched despite the fact that he said it playfully. It still hit home a little too hard. I unable to stop the memory of him eating from coming back to me. Flesh and bone. The ripping. The whole fridge with a person in it. I thought back to what I’d said to Hinami today though.I didn't want him to starve. I didn’t want ANY of them to starve. I did not particularly wish to watch him eat people, but I'd never wish starvation on him. None of them. So unless he decided to eat like the ghouls at Anteiku, that meant that people were going to die. Pure and simple. There probably just wasn't enough suicides around to rely on that for every single ghoul. Nor was it something I, or anyone else could expect they'd all choose.

Was I a terrible person? I would cringe and feel bad for his prey but I would never wish he stopped eating and do harm to himself. I remembered Hinami’s smile as she started to feel better after I told her to eat. That it was okay. I remembered the smiles of the people around her when she looked like she was recovering. They all cared so much about each other and all I could see was people. Not monsters. People, who had lives to live.

I had already decided the value of Uta's life and his friendship compared to the lives of the people he'd eat to continue living his own life. In that regard: Everyone else was found wanting. Less than, Because I knew Uta. I knew Hinami, Renji, Yoshimura, Touka...everyone. I wanted them to keep living no matter the cost.

I watched as he finally settled on putting the ring through another part of his ears cartilage.   
"That's not true Uta...not at all." I finally spoke up. “I wouldn’t ever wish you’d starve yourself. So. No tongue ring for you.” 

He wiggled the earring around in his ear after it was in and looked up at me from his work chair. “So what was on the news Ai-chan…?” He asked, glancing over his shoulder.


	15. Chapter 15:

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aika confronts Uta and we finally figure out what happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Short chapter): I apologize. ツ

I clenched my jaw. I’d been dreading this conversation since I’d heard that the guy was dead. Body parts were hard to go by when trying to recognize people. Especially when they were dismembered to fit into a fridge. However, based on what I’d seen I was pretty sure I knew who it was Uta had stuffed in his.  
“...a severed head turned up a few blocks away from here. It’s been all over the news.”

“Oh. That.” Uta said in an even, bored tone. Lowering his eyes back to his work, he appeared to focus on painting the detailed mask he had in front of him. The ghoul was entirely unconcerned.

“A severed head with its eyes removed…” I pushed a little more, emphasizing the missing eyes.

“...” I stared at the back of his head as he kept working without replying to me. “...the guy was the same one that tried to mug me the other night.”

"Do you feel bad for him?” Uta finally asked in a gentle voice. Even though he finally spoke up he continued working, not even bothering to lift his eyes to meet mine when I walked up closer to him. We were both trying to step around delicate points. We were both tense and waiting for some kind of blowout. As if it was a question of when, not if. I wasn't going to have that anymore! I hardened my heart, gathered as much nerve as I could and shook my head sharply;hands clenched into fists. 

"If it wasn’t him it might be me dead on the news. Or he might have just attacked someone else. So...I don’t feel as bad as I probably should...”Uta lifted his head finally; meeting my eyes over his shoulder and searching my expression.

“Did you kill him Uta? After I told you about him?”

“No." He answered, surprising me for a split second. I worried that I’d gotten it wrong by mistake and just accused him of a crime he hadn’t even committed...but then he continued. "He was already dead when you told me.” I stared at him, my jaw dropping a fraction. His eyes turned to look over at my dog. “I followed you to make sure you were safe. If you hadn’t had your dog with you that man would have attacked you then.”

“He was already...Wait. Hold up! You followed me home?"   
Oh...oh! OHHH! The realization hit me like a load of bricks. That explained so much! I turned to Bjorn who watched us both. Judging my association with the ghoul as a poor decision: as always. However he was lazy and not on guard. That would explain why he hadn't reacted to that weird what I’d been having that paranoid feeling. There had been someone following me, but I had basically trained the dog not to respond to Uta as a threat! I made a note to be a little more careful with that as I never wanted to do that with someone I didn't trust.   
"Yes. You're not the easiest person to follow..."

I stood quietly while we stared at each other. I was processing. He’d stalked me home to keep me safe, and then killed the mugger simply because they had threatened me? I'm sure he hadn't intended it, but that made me feel responsible for the guys death. I grimaced as I thought that brought my 'body count' up to two.

"Uta, You can’t just go killing anyone who threatens me with a knife! For one I don't want to be responsible for that...” His thin eyebrows furrowed together and I could see the muscles in his jaw clench almost imperceptibly. For a moment I thought he might actually get upset with me. Despite this I smiled faintly. “...And secondly; The 4th ward is gonna run out of people if you do that!" His own expression relaxed and lighted up instantly when he recognized the darker humorous side of what I’d said. “If I kept track of people who threatened me I’d almost have a complete list of the residents of the 4th ward…”

It's a hard pill to swallow. Being friends with ghouls and then accepting that their diet was...people. That didn't happen completely overnight and I wasn't about to start cheering that he'd killed someone "bad'. But I knew they didn't have a choice. The world we all lived in never gave them one. There could have been other options than how it was now; but none of those roads had been taken. So this was how it had to be….  
Other humans, especially the CCG might say I was corrupted. Turned towards evil... but I felt I was just allowed to glimpse the other side of the same coin.

"Please tell me it wasn't just for spite; you actually needed the meat?”  
“I was running low. It won't go to waste.” He admitted. I held his gaze for a minute and then broke eye contact, dropping my eyes to the floor. "Okay then..." I let out a tired sigh. I was relieved to hear the truth rather than endlessly worrying. That shit could wear on your mind.

"It bothered you. Being there while I ate…” It wasn’t a question I needed to answer but I nodded anyway. Confirming that what he said was true. “You could have left. I would have healed after you brought me food. You didn't need to stay and watch."

"I need to make sure you were okay.I thought you were dying. How was I supposed to know you could heal from that? And I didn't really watch when you ate..." He tilted his head and looked at me curiously. “No I suppose not. You turned away…” Remembering Yoshimura’s and Touka’s reaction to hearing and seeing that Uta eats in front of me got me really curious. “You also could have thrown me out. Sent me away. Asked me to leave. You've never had any issues eating eyes in front of me after I found out you're a ghoul. It seems like other ghouls don’t do that...”

“I’m not hiding what I eat from you. You should already be well aware Ai-chan. It is a bit strange for us to eat in front of a human though, isn’t it?” He stood up, finally putting down his work to dry for the night and cleaning up his supplies. “After all. What if I finish eating…” He turned and loomed over me so suddenly and so very close! With a hand he caught my chin and forced me to look up at his eyes. It seemed as though any chance or excuse he got, Uta would stand close or touch if he thought he could get away with it. Meanwhile I could only freeze up on the spot; unable to move a muscle.  
“...and I’m still hungry after?” He breathed gently past my neck, taking in a whiff of my scent. “Hum? You would be a perfect snack.”

I took a half-step back, brushing off his touch only to have him move forward with me; keeping the close distance between us until I bumped up against a display. While I for the most part knew he was only messing with me: I felt confused. Caught between embarrassment and a sort of nervous anxiety. I felt heat sprout across my cheeks, over my ears and down my neck as the ghoul continued to sniff at me. “Y-you could er...order ‘take out eyes’?” I offered, feeling twitchy despite every self-assurance that I was safe (enough). After my comment I saw the ghoul’s expression morph from smug, to shocked and then finally amused in mere moments. He pulled away, tilted his head back and laughed out loud. 

“Ah!HaaaHaaaa!~ Yes. I suppose I could do that!”

“I’ll have to hide from the delivery man again though.” I finally took a deep breath and listened to the male continue to chuckle. “He wouldn’t hurt you.” I wasn’t so sure about that. The way I’d heard that man talk about me last time made it sound like he'd have loved to take a bite out of me. My expression must have said it all because Uta amended what he’d said with. "Not while you're around me.” I had no idea how strong Uta, (or any of the ghouls close to me) really was, but that much I felt I could believe.

He stepped around me and went to start washing the paint out of his brushes and fresh paint from his fingers, as though he hadn't almost had me pinned between himself and a mannequin seconds before. When the artist looked around the shop he found it was completely cleaned up and neat. Scraps were placed in his scrap bin while the unusable junk had been tossed away. His usual cleaning at the end of the night was done for him.

“How’d you get so much glitter on everything?” I looked at the bottom of my shoes and found they were covered in the stuff. I'd missed plenty of it on the floor too. That was going to be a pain to get rid of and it was bound to re-appear from time to time on random things. “I regret taking that order…” He muttered, looking at the bottom of my shoes and then his own. “A little girl wanted glitter on her mask…”

“It looks like a ‘my little pony’ exploded here. Or maybe a unicorn vomited. I don’t want to interfere with your art or anything...but are you sure that's a good idea anyway, putting glitter on a mask?” I looked at the glitter that collected on my shoes and bit my lip. "It's already all over your shop. My shoes. I've probably tracked it back home already too. But if it sheds off a mask or on her hair won't that be fairly easy to trace back to her..."

When I didn't get a reply I looked up to meet Uta's gaze. He looked...blank.   
"I hadn't thought of that."

"Have you already finished it?" I asked, hesitant to tell him he should probably come up with a different design that didn't include glitter. It was okay to have a flashy mask as long as it covered their face. But if it meant that she’d be easily tracked with something like glitter that would shed off of it. Regardless of what the kid wanted that wouldn’t do. She had to be kept safe. That was the entire point of the mask! 

"Yeah...I already did. The kid really wanted a sparkly mask...”

He pulled a mask out of a box and unwrapped it. Holding it in his hands he stared down at it, rubbing a thumb over the surface and coming up with a few sparkles. I had to admit It was pretty in even the dim light of Uta’s shop. Any little girl probably would have adored it. “They were going to collect it tomorrow...but…”  
“It’s a really cute mask Uta…” I chewed the inside of my cheek. Finally I exhaled, feeling rather sad about what I thought I had to say next. “How long would it take to copy this one’s shape but without the glitter. You could try another material that won’t shed off.” I could see his eyebrows furrow in thought before he asked. “What could I use?”

“W-well…” I muttered, flustered that he was asking me. “ I’ve seen these really shiny….sort of. Er. Holographic textiles? They are dim indoors and in the dark, almost black. But it shines rainbows when the right light catches them or especially if someone uses flash photography. Would that work?” I pulled out my phone and found a picture of what I meant fairly quickly; holding it up to show him.

He squinted at the picture and then back at the mask in his hand. “It might...If I work on it now. I could have the base fleshed out by morning.” He muttered, looking back at his workstation. He probably planned on working throughout the night now that I went and pointed out the issue with the current mask. He really cared about his work and the ghouls he made masks for. It went beyond the questions he’d ask. It was endearing and sweet to see how much care he put into them. “I can help...I mean. If you want help.” I said softly, fidgeting nervously. He set aside the mask in his hands and started shuffling through his numerous sketchbooks to find the original sketches and measurements of the client.

“Or...I can go. If I’ll be in the way…” He looked up from the sketches. “Hum? No, no. You can stay. It’s getting late though.” His eyes glanced at the wall clock then back at me. Silently he seemed to ask if I really wanted to stay so late. 

"If you wait around much later and it won't be safe to leave until morning."

My stomach thought this was a great time to growl about it’s disappointment with me. At which point I got a steady stare down from my ghoul friend. Clearly I shouldn't starve myself again; even on accident. “Ahahahah...yeah…” I laughed to try to cover the growling. Normally I’d have to feed Bjorn and get something for myself to eat by now. Food at work had been nice, but there were only so many little triangle sandwiches one girl could eat before you got tired of them! I could get Bjorn's food and leave him home. But making something for myself would take time and run the risk of getting too late to come back...

“I wouldn’t mind coming back to help after I bring Bjorn home and get him food.”   
I felt bad that now he had extra work and I wanted to help. “But...would you mind if I ordered food for delivery...to here?”

“I don’t see why not.” He replied. Then, just as curious as he had been in the grocery store asked. “What are you ordering?”

“Pizza! I’ll show you when it comes. But…first I got to bring Bjorn back home for his dinner.” I called my dog who happily jumped up and ran to me. “I’ll be right back, Okay?” I swiped on my phone and started placing my pizza order, between the time to get home, feed and walk Bjorn outside and then coming back...I should be back in time to get the pizza.

♥

I returned back to the mask shop after a fairly short amount of time. I had changed my clothes out of my work outfit to a comfy pair of sweatpants and a crop top. Bjorn meanwhile was left at home; splayed out on his doggy bed. Full after his meal, he was snoring almost before I was even completely out the door. 

Uta left the front door unlocked for me, letting me back in without waiting outside in the street at this hour. I was more than grateful for that since the idea that the ol’ woman ghoul might still be hoping to get a few bites out of me still made me nervous. I let out a relieved breath when I got back; safe and sound.

“I’m back!” I announced cheerfully: To an empty shop. I looked around and couldn’t see anybody.  
“...Uta?”

What I did notice right away as a new large sheet set over a mannequin. It seemed like a lame hiding place since it was so obvious, but that seemed very ‘Uta-like'. I tugged it up quickly, fully expecting to find my friend. Instead I was staring into the blank face of an ordinary mannequin. “Foun---huh?”

“Boo!” A voice whispered in my ear. A yelp escaped my vocal cords and adrenaline shot through my body like wildfire on gasoline. Without thinking the motion through, I turned and swung in one motion. One of my fists did collide with something hard before my wrists were caught and held firmly away where they couldn’t do any further harm.  
“It’s me! Ai-chan!~” At those words I stopped struggling to smack him again and stared up at my ‘attacker’ with wide eyes. Despite the fact that I’d just punched the man in the jaw he was laughing; my wrists caught in his hands and held away from his face. “Sorry! Sorry! I thought I’d try to scare you.” He let go of me, my arms falling to my sides as he rubbed his jaw with a free hand. “I didn’t expect your first instinct to be to hit something...”

“You scared me! Of course my reaction was to hit you! It’s called ‘fight or flight’ for a reason!” My knuckles throbbed painfully from where I’d hit him. I’d probably done more damage to myself than him by punching him. Talk about a strong jawline…

“And you chose “fight”. Interesting.”

I was about to tell him not to do it again because I wasn’t afraid to smack him again when there was a knock on the door. For a second I was confused, then as someone yelled “Pizza Delivery”. I remembered that I had ordered a pizza to HySy Art Mask Studio and that I was really hungry. I went to the door, pouting at Uta as he watched me answer his door to get my food. I tipped the delivery guy and came back inside with my box of food.

“So...what is that you're eating?”  
I sat myself cross legged on the floor of his studio; Holding a slice of pizza. Half of it was already being stuffed into my face. Ladylike manners be damned! I was starved and getting cranky after a day at work. I held up a finger, not wanting to speak with a full mouth at least and swallowed it down quickly. “Don’t you think I forgot about you scaring me!” I pointed out, eyes narrowed in a little glare. I took another bite of my food without replying.

He watched me while I ate. He looked at what I was eating; studying it. Finally I finished my second bite and decided to quell his curiosity. Partially, I hoped he'd stop staring me down while I was trying to eat. Suddenly it became a little clearer why a ghoul like Hinami might not like having someone stare her down as she was eating. “It’s bread, melted cheese, tomato sauce and meat. This is just one kind of pizza though. You can put almost anything you want on it.” 

"Anyway..." I nodded at his work desk. "We can check a fabric or craft store in the morning for something that'll work if you don't have anything else. Also why are they suppose to pick up the mask?”

“Around noon…”

“Okay then! I’ll help however I can!”

♥

I ate quickly and jumped up ready to help the ghoul as best I could. Whether it was grabbing supplies or telling him my opinion.Though I had no clue why he needed it;I tried my hardest to help.  
At some point in the night I felt drowsiness strike me. To fight it I attempted to hunt down more wayward glitter bits with a dustpan and broom. I think I succeeded at least a little bit. When I ran out of cleaning projects and Uta hadn’t called for me to do anything in a while I passed out. At first I only dozed for a few minutes at a time.   
But then later in the dead of night, leaned up against a wall for support I fell back into a deeper sleep.

I was woken briefly again to gentle swaying and then being placed down on cool fabric. I muttered my complainants at being disturbed before falling back to sleep again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Explanation: Yes. Aika feels BAD that guy is dead. But...he wasn't a good guy. (and if anybody has to be dead she's rather it be a 'bad' guy.) She's not about to get on Uta's case for killing anybody when she's known what he had to eat. *SHRUG*
> 
> She's getting use to it. ツ  
> She'll continue to adjust as things go on.
> 
> >_> probably learn to just avoid asking 'who' he's eating...


	16. Chapter 16: Fabric, Lunch and a New Face!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which multiple people get the 'wrong' idea about Ai-chan and Uta!~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Quarantined people!!!
> 
> You may or may not know, but Ao3 won't be counting guests hits! Apparently because everyone is inside reading fanfics it's causing issues for their server!  
> I'd love to know when people like the story though - it makes me very happy to get comments!!!
> 
> (Also, i've been distracted by animal crossing!) ♥

♥

I blinked blearily at the dark cushioning of a couch while I tried to come to terms as to where I was. Right now I smelled coffee; which was probably what had woken me up to begin with. The last thing I remembered clearly was staying late and cleaning Uta’s studio. I think there were nightmares in between which included far too much glitter. 

“Morning Ai-chan.” A smooth voice cut through my thoughts as a pair of red and black eyes hovered in front of me. The owner of the eyes was knelt down to my level and held up a cup of coffee in front of me. “Here. Wake up.” The voice tried to coax me up with the promise of a coffee of my own. It was an effective method.

“Uta?” I yawned, then struggled to cover my yawn half way through; remembering it was rude.  
“Sleepy?”

“Yeah. A little bit. When did I fall asleep...I was trying to stay up.” I could see his lips twitch into the slightest of smiles. Under his own eyes there were little dark circles beginning to form. Clearly he hadn't slept a bit. “Only a few hours ago. I had to wake you up to go to the fabric & craft store. You’re going to help me pick out that textile?”

Oh! Right! I sat up and looked around. It seemed like he’d brought me up to his apartment again and set me on his couch. My back felt rather thankful for that but at this point I was beginning to wonder if the ghoul just liked lugging me around wherever he wanted. Regardless; falling asleep on the floor or against the wall downstairs would have left me in pain all day. “Thanks.” I took the cup of coffee being handed to me. “Did you get the mask mostly done?”

“Yes. I made some alterations based on what you showed me last night. It just needs the material and some final stitching. The store opens in 30 minutes. But humans need to eat three meals a day; including breakfast.” I was about to tell him that I didn’t typically get around to eating all three meals in a day. Mostly because I’d get distracted or lacked the time. But I shut my mouth remembering that I’d not too long ago put myself in hot water by not eating. He likely would not be happy hearing that. “Yeah, typically…”

“We can stop on the way and get you...something.” His head tilted to one side and looked at me. I realized with no small amount of amusement that his hesitancy was because he didn't know what I’d eat for breakfast. “Maybe pancakes" I supplied an answer. "…I think there’s a place not too far.”

“It’s too bad we can’t go to a craft store in the 1st or 5th wards…” They were admittedly nicer areas. Although I didn’t miss my old life’s living situation; nor did I particularly find myself longing for a huge house: I did miss the nicer stores that were filled with more and higher quality stock. I guess in a ward where it could all go up in smoke or get stolen it wasn’t worth stocking higher quality materials all that much. Not to mention there was a really delicious cafe that sold the best waffles and pancakes. Just the thought of them made me want to drool.

“Well we could…” Uta said calmly. It was so dismissive of the danger that I peered up at him and raised my eyebrows. The arguments were already pouring off my tongue. “They are crawling with CCG Officers! A lot of them live in that area! We are NOT going there. We’d be fucked if we got caught there! That’s just poking a bee’s nest and expecting not to get stung!”

“If you wanted to go, I don't think it would be that bad. I have sunglasses…”

“Not risking it! Absolutely not!” I said firmly. The man could make me nervous, basically pin me against furniture or tease that he’d eat me all he wanted; but I was standing my ground when it came to this. I was far from being spineless! Especially when it came to things or people I cared about. I still remembered how he told me that the CCG made ghouls into weapons and I was unwilling to have a friend go so close to them. “That is way too dangerous! It would be stupid to wander around there.”

“If you need something I can go get it! Or we can order it!” I finished, keeping my eyes firmly on his own and hoping he understood I was absolutely serious. I only relaxed after he held up his hands in mock surrender. “Alright. Alright. You win.”

“Good…” I relaxed and leaned back in my seat. Uta stood up and got his own cup of coffee as I gulped down mine. He still didn’t have or use sugar or milk so I hated it. However...Sweet tooth be damned; I needed the kick of caffeine to get me up for the day!

“Have you tried actually brewing it?” I stared down his cheap looking coffee pot with the hopes that if I glared hard enough it might erupt into flames. “Yeah. But I always end up making it worse than this thing…” He poured out his cup into a mug and blew on it to cool it down a little. I ran my empty mug under the sink water and looked for some soap - intending to clean the glass. 

“Just leave it there. I’ll get it later.”  
I nodded and left it alone on the counter near his sink. Looking around a little more than I had when I’d last been in his kitchen I noticed how VERY unused it looked. Clean...but completely unused. His coffee situation did make me think though. I could get a brewer, some filters and some coffee beans...and make coffee to bring over when I visited.

After all, I’d learned a new skill at Anteiku. Anteiku’s blend was top notch, and I’d never get beans to beat it...but that didn’t mean I couldn’t make better coffee than this little machine. Plus, it would be great practice!

“Ai-chan...why are you glaring at my coffeemaker?”

“EH? S-sorry...I was just thinking. If you don’t mind while we’re out if we stop someplace…it won’t take long. We can hurry back so you can finish the mask by the time they get here!”

♥

“This is where you wanted to go?” He asked, looking up at a small appliances store’s sign. It was the first stop since it was actually closer than the cafe I intended on stopping for breakfast. “Yeah!”

I’d gotten paid for my first week, and it felt a little bit ironic that one of the first things I bought with my first proper check was to make coffee. To think: ONE single week at a fancy cafe and I was becoming more and more of a coffee snob. I giggled at the very idea.

I stepped in and started looking. Uta followed behind me looking around the shelves. I looked up to see which section my goal would be in. “Hello! Welcome! Is there anything I can help you two with?” I turned my head towards the friendly voice of a customer service worker. “Yeah actually. I was looking for a coffee brewer.” I described the ones at Anteiku and was soon after looking at a perfect match on the shelf. “This is perfect, thanks!”

“Would you like me to check you out for this!?” I nodded and was digging out my wallet as Uta came up beside me again. “This is what you were thinking while you glared at my coffee maker?” I chuckled softly. “Yeah. I can make some good coffee with this…at home I only have a microwave and instant coffee. Which is even worse.” He walked away from me to look at the other coffee makers as I continued to check out with the woman. I thought about telling him my plan to maybe bring him some in the mornings; but maybe I could surprise him with that instead. Uta always made this cute face when he was surprised.  
So completely caught off guard.  
And happy. 

I flushed as I was caught thinking this. The woman was looking at me expectantly.  
“Eh? Sorry I must have been spacing out. I’m sorry. What did you say?”

“Ma’am, do you and your boyfriend want this wrapped?”

I felt static freeze my brain before I could manage to choke out any noise. Why on earth was everyone assuming that…!? In retrospect it probably did make sense. We were about the same age; with similar enough styles that someone couldn’t be blamed for matching us together. Then there was the way that Uta trailed along behind me and how close he hovered when I’d stopped to look at something. Plus, couples probably came in here all the time after they moved in together to get new appliances for their home. Fresh start and all that.

“H-he’s not...I mean.He’s just a friend…” I muttered, very quietly and completely mortified. My head felt like it was about to pop under the blood pressure. It was of very little condolence that the woman behind the counter looked about as mortified as I felt.  
“Oh...oh gosh. I’m sorry! I just assumed. You two looked like…” She whispered in a hushed voice. “H-have a good day!”

Still blushing like mad I headed for the exit and waited for Uta to follow. He had appeared at least not to have heard, or was acting like he hadn’t. “Ai-chan, Should I get a new coffee machine?”

“Nah. Honestly your machine is probably completely fine...Maybe try another blend though…”

“You always wrinkle your nose with it though…”

“That’s because you don’t have any sugar or milk to go in it. Coffee is kind of bitter without it...and I’ve got a sweet tooth.” I knew the expression on his face meant he wanted to know more; so I explained. “Sweet tooth just means my tastes tend to lean towards sugary things like candy and sweets. Cakes and that sort of stuff.”

“Like the brownies at the store.”

I groaned as I was once again reminded of the little chocolate delights that were brownies. “...you had to go and remind me about those!” I said; a slight whine making its way into my voice. I couldn’t help if I CRAVED those on again off again all week. Maybe I could get some pancakes or waffles with chocolate on them and it would curb the craving. “Yes like those…” I exhaled. “And like pancakes!”

I could smell the cafe before I could see it. The sweet scent of frying and baking bread was a lure as I stepped up my pace towards it. I didn’t have to look over my shoulder to know that Uta followed along with me. Sitting across from me in a booth he looked a little out of place; but then again maybe I just wasn't use to seeing him in a place such as this. Nobody else was giving him any strange looks.

“Hello!” A similarly cheerful woman greeted us here with a menu in both hands. “Was there anything I could get you two for drinks?”

“Coffee. Black for me.” Uta replied then looked at me. “Tea please. Honey on the side!”

“Coming right up! Please look at the menus while I get that!” Our server slid the menus in front of Uta and myself. I happily flipped through it looking for what I wanted. My mind was already set on some pancakes though. I was surprised to see the ghoul flipping through the pages. If I didn’t know better I’d have thought nothing of the two of us.Certainly we didn’t look suspicious or ghoulish in anyway.

As soon as my tea was placed in front of me I dumped a ‘healthy’ helping of honey they’d brought me into it and stirred it until it dissolved. “And did you guys know what you wanted to eat?”

“Yeah. I’ll have some pancakes with chocolate chips please!”

“Alright! That sounds delicious!!! And you sir?” She turned to Uta and smiled one of those dazzling costumer service smiles. I expected him to refuse but instead he actually ordered something. “A blueberry muffin.”

“Okay! Thank you! I’ll have those out in just a minute!” She collected our menu’s up as we both sipped our drinks. I shot Uta a confused look but he didn’t give me any answer. I still didn’t know what he was thinking when our food was brought out and placed in front of us.

Despite how confused I was about Uta and his muffin; I could have absolutely purrrrrred with delight at the sight of my fluffy breaded wonders soaked completely with sweet syrup! The smell of them alone was heaven sent! “Please enjoy! If you need anything please let me know!”  
I very happily started to eat my own food without much thought about the ghoul across from me. I was halfway through my first pancake when I looked up to see Uta placing a small piece of muffin in his mouth. Shocked; I stopped mid-chew and stared at him.

I could see the slight grimace and reactionary clench of his jaw that crossed his face before he swallowed the food. The food meant for humans; not ghouls. Swallowing what I had in my own mouth I looked at the half eaten, half picked apart muffin that lay in front of him. It was clear to see he really, REALLY didn’t like the food. I knew it tasted bad to them and it would not help a ghouls hunger to eat it. But he was clearly trying his best to not stand out in the breakfast cafe. Uta was eating despite the fact that it wasn’t his proper food. He continued putting little bites into his mouth and swallowing them down; Always with a slight grimace on his face as he did it. I hurried up while eating my own meal so we could get out of here sooner.

♥

Uta followed me out of the breakfast cafe after eating half a muffin. The other half got very subtly thrown away. He’d managed to pick it apart and then eat enough of it that it looked like he’d eaten most of it. At least this way we had looked fairly normal. Someone would simply assume he didn’t like it all that much. Not that he was a ghoul who found it disgusting…

“I didn’t realize you were going to eat anything. I could have ordered food to go If i knew you were going to be torturing yourself with a muffin...I didn’t know you could even do that.”

“We shouldn’t.” He answered softly, a hand drifted to his stomach. It reminded me of the way I’d hold my stomach when cramps hit me on the really bad days. ”It’s not...exactly healthy.” 

“...are you going to be okay?” I stopped to look up at him with open concern. “Yeah. I’ll be fine. Come’on. We need to get to the craft store...” I wasn’t sure that I believed him when he said he was fine but I didn’t argue. We took a straight shot towards the art store; keeping up a fast paced walk.

When we got there they were open and I walked in and waited for Uta to follow me. Keeping an eye on him I noticed his typically expressionless face held a slight frown. How his hand kept drifting to his stomach and clenched. I was half tempted to send a message to someone at the cafe and ask what happened to a ghoul if they ate human food. I was sure that the manager at least would be willing to answer my questions…

I looked through the materials intent on finding it quickly. Maybe if we headed back to his home he’d feel better. It took longer than I would have liked to search for it; and there wasn't much of it left. But for a mask it would do fine. It's not like the surface area was that large. I stopped and turned around, ready to tell Uta that I'd found it. Only I found that the ghoul wasn’t hovering close by. In fact when I looked around I found him in another isle completely; hunched slightly over and a clenched fist over his stomach. Which I could hear protesting even from down the aisle…

Although he'd said it wasn't healthy I hadn't quite grasped how bad it could be until now. I gently tugged him towards the register, paid for the fabric and left the store. Pulling the ghoul along with me.

On the way back I heard my name being called. “Ms.Kaneshiro?” I flinched and spun my head to see a familiar face. “Mr. Amon!”  
“What are you doing around here?” He asked and the sound of it was strangely cold. He had dark circles under his eyes and I could see he hadn’t been sleeping well. My mugger hadn’t been the only death recently. There had been some CCG agents killed as well. In the 20th ward. I wondered if they’d been friends of his.

“Oh I...was.” My hands clenched on the bags I held. “Out shopping.” Breathe in and out Aika. I calmed myself and smiled cheerfully. “I got a new job, so I was finally able to get some things I needed! And it’s Aika! ” I watched his face relax and finally smile. “Oh that is good. Ms. K---er. Aika. Sorry. I was wondering how you were doing after what happened…I never did a follow up. I’ve been rather busy. I was actually going to see if you wanted to try your hand at a job in my office. If you didn't find anything. I know it can be hard sometimes." I noticed a slight blush cross his face and he looked away; unable to meet my eyes.

“I’ve been fine!” I giggled girlishly and shook my head. “There's no need! I really like my new job! Thank you though!”

“Oh. Really? Okay then...well If you reconsider you’ve already got my card.” He stood by awkwardly, seemingly unsure of how to proceed. “Ai-chan. Who’s your friend?” A pair of warm arms wrapped around my waist and I felt weight on one shoulder. I turned my head to see Uta’s face very close to my own, making me blush wildly. Amon reacted, stepping backwards as the ghoul stood possessively behind me; staring the other human down through his sunglasses. “Do you know this man Ms. Kan---Aika?”

“Y-yeah. This is my dear friend I went to after my place was broken into. He likes to startle me! It's fine!" I reassured the ghoul investigator with a charming smile. I moved to pull away from Uta only to have his arms lock on a bit more firmly. I wasn't going anywhere. With few other choices I relaxed into the hold. “O-oh...I see.” I could see the investigator looking over our pose. I couldn’t help but blush beat red and Amon looked away from second hand embarrassment.

“Thank you again Investigator! I’m so glad to see you’re alright. Did you ever catch the person who killed my old boss?” I faked the concern as I asked. I could try and get more information from him. He didn’t seem to have ‘creepy old man’ with him to stop him.  
“No...unfortunately not. I’ve been called elsewhere. And there’s been more killings…But another investigator is on it though. Don’t worry!” He shot me a smile and I nodded ‘thankfully’. 

“That’s so good to hear...with the murder the other night I was so worried. I walk through here all the time. I try not to get caught walking at night though…” I held up the bags in my hand and smiled. “Well, I’ve got more shopping to do. We’ve got to go okay? Have a good day Mr. Amon!”

“Yeah! You too Ms. K-Aika!” I smiled as the man never could seem to get used to dropping the Ms. and calling me by my name. I noticed as he walked away he was holding a silver attache like the ones Yoshimura had warned me about.

“Feeling better Uta?” I asked once Amon was out of sight. Once again I tried to move to wiggle out of his grip. This time he finally allowed me. His arms fell away and lifted his chin off my shoulder.

"Not really..." His eyes lingered in the direction the CCG officer had gone. I couldn’t blame him for being on guard but he would have been safer if he’d just stayed away in the alleyway and waited for the man to leave.  
“Let's head back now. It’s almost ten. My clients will be showing up in the next two hours…”

♥

Back at the shop Uta disapeared into his apartment for a few minutes before he began working on the mask again. When he came back he had a dish full of eyes and cut up meat which he ate. After he did I could see a marked improvement in his health.  
The mask was coming along well. I could see the changes he’d made to the mask’s base shape to accommodate the fabric of choice. I had to admit, this one was far better than the last one he'd made. I was also happier knowing that it would also be safer for the child it was meant for. A child especially didn’t deserve to be hunted down...

A little while before noon I stood up and started to get ready to leave the shop. “Where are you going?” Asked the male, looking up from his work. “I was...going to leave before they got here.” I paused and fidgeted in place. “You’re safe here.” Uta said softly; as though that were the concern I had. “The mother and child isn’t going to hurt you…”  
“What? No! I didn’t think that- !!! I just thought they’d be more comfortable if I wasn't...here. You know because I’m human...” I didn’t want to make any of Uta’s customers nervous. Not like Touka. I remembered how she was upset because I knew all their faces without a mask.

“Stay.” He said very softly and nodded at his desk chair. “Sit there. They’ll be fine.”

It wasn’t long before a mother daughter pair walked into the open shop and Uta greeted them. The little girl looked at me with a wide childish expression. She tugged on her mother's dress and pointed at me. The pair of them reminded me of Hinami and her mother.

It made me feel so sad all of a sudden seeing them here. I hoped that these two would beat the odds that seemed to plague ghouls. Let them be safe. Let them keep their family together and not make the girl lose her parents like Hinami had…

“Mommy, it’s a human!”  
I looked up to the mother from her child. The woman looked nothing like Hinami’s mother and it brought me back to earth as she stared at me. “Uh...yes honey. She is.” She exchanged a nervous glance at the shop owner and her daughter. Unperturbed, Uta walked around behind me and grabbed the mask meant for the little girl off his desk. “This is Aika…” I felt a pair of hands rest on my shoulders. “I had to change some designs on the mask. Ai-chan pointed out that the glitter you wanted would actually be dangerous. So instead…”

I watched as the little girl's face first seemed disappointed when it seemed she wasn’t getting a sparkly mask; but as soon as she saw the design Uta had done instead she lit right back up! “I had to use this material that she picked out. I hope you don’t mind.”

The girl ran forward; happily reaching for the mask regardless of her mother's protest. The parent still regarded me doubtfully but I only smiled gently. “Glitter can shed off and trace back to her...I apologize for meddling. But it seemed important that nobody could trace it back to her…”

With her child placing the mask over her face and running around in circles the woman seemed to relax a little bit and take a few steps closer. “Thank you...I can’t tell you how much it means to me to finally get her a mask. And in such short notice. We’ve had a few close calls…”

The woman looked down at me still sitting in Uta’s chair, his hands over my shoulders. I was Uta’s friend and the woman seemed to understand that meant that I was at the very least trustworthy of being here. “...and thank you. For your help...I…” Regardless of Uta’s opinion of me she couldn’t seem to look at me straight in the eyes for long and turned away. “I appreciate it…”  
I couldn’t blame her for not trusting me all that much just like I couldn’t blame Touka. I still smiled at her and waved as they left the store. The little girl on the other hand stopped to give me an enthusiastic wave! “Thank you, Ms. Pretty human!!! I love it!”

“Stay safe…” I waved back to her; as soon as they were gone a sad drawn look fell across my face. “What’s wrong?”

“They just reminded me of Hinami and her mother...That’s all. I hope they stay safe.” I stood up and collected myself. “I’m going to head home for a little bit. We’re still going to the bar tonight, right?” He nodded his head. “Then I need to take a nap...I’m still exhausted. Are you going to stay open? You didn’t sleep at all...”

“No. I’m shutting the studio for now. I was thinking of getting something more to eat and trying to get some sleep as well.” I nodded feeling that probably was the best option. “Maybe next time you don’t try to eat human food. It’s not for you!” I pouted. 

“I haven't in years…still tastes like dog crap. But we were in public.”  
I laughed despite myself. Maybe it did taste bad to him but at least we had managed to pass through the public eye without catching any unwanted attention.

I left Uta’s shop as he closed up the front. “Message me when you're going to come back so you’re not standing outside.”

I went home, letting myself in to see my happy bouncing pup. Bjorn was let out, walked and brought back in. I spent close to an hour brushing him and then another cleaning up the floating fuzzballs. When we both calmed back down I laid down to sleep; setting an alarm for close to 5pm. Only a couple hours but the nap would be long enough to rejuvenate me.

♥  
I woke to the sound of my alarm and my dog barking at it. “Shhhhhh, shhhhh! Bjorn. It’s just the alarm.” I silenced it and got up for the night. First thing was first; I picked out a new set of clothes and went to get a shower.

Remembering that somehow the ghouls around me had told me I smelled like Uta I scrubbed away extra hard (probably taking off the first layer of skin while I was at it) and doused myself in soaps. At last I felt fairly confident that I must have gotten it all off of me. I dressed in the new set of clothes free of ‘Uta’. Experimentally I sniffed- as though I could actually tell- and only smelled the clean clothes and soapy flowers. There wasn’t even the smell of coffee I’d been getting used to from Anteiku on this set of clothing.

I shot Uta a message and started over towards his shop. My mask was becoming a habit. As always it was now on my person, tucked away in a small bag I held with me. Inside that was also my wallet and keys. I met with Uta outside of his shop and we were soon on our way toward the subway; heading towards the 14th ward.

When we got there Uta went in first. I heard him get greeted happily by Itori and then a painfully long silence. I nearly ran into Uta's back when he stopped in the doorway and stood there; tensed up. Peeking around him I saw someone new. The man was tall, thin and dressed in the loudest most colorful outfit I think I've ever seen. He looked really...effeminate. I could even spot a bit of make-up on his face.

"Oh dear, do you have a pet with you? Well don't hide her behind you. I won't bite! I wanna see the sweetheart!~"

"I didn't realize anybody else was planning on coming tonight."  
"Don't you worry so much, it's only me tonight~" Uta turned his head to look at me hovering behind him. He seemed to decide it would be alright and entered letting me follow closely behind. I stuck to his side though; only peering around him to look at the new fellow.

The stranger batted his eyes at me when I peered around Uta. "Well! Well! Isn't she just a cutie! Hello darling!"  
I took a seat on the other side of Uta, putting him between myself and the stranger. "Hello." I said, my voice wavered; uncertain and anxious. If it hadn’t been for Uta’s response I probably would have been fine with meeting someone new - even a ghoul - but seeing him get all tense was making me nervous.

"This is Nico. He's a friend...but I wasn't aware he'd be here tonight." Uta finally said, his eyes were fixed upon Itori who shrugged and said. “To be fair; You didn’t tell me you were bringing her...and you didn’t ask who was coming…”

“Don’t look so moody U-kun...It’s just Nico tonight. I’d have warned you if anybody else was going to show up…”

"I heard you had a cute little thing Uta! But I guess I hadn't realized you were keeping, keeping her. Oh, just look at her!~ I’m sorry dear! I didn’t mean to show up and scare you! I’m harmless, I promise!” ‘Keeping’ me rather than...killing and eating me was what I got from what Nico said. I tried to ignore the man giving me a thorough look over.

Itori placed a cup in front of me and grinned. I shot her a flat stare. “This is the only cup I’m drinking tonight. I mean it! I am not stumbling out of here wasted again.” I nudged Uta. “Make sure she doesn't sneak any refills.”

“Yeah, I’ve got ya’.” Uta said, finally relaxing a little bit.

The bartender pouted, disappointed that she wasn’t going to be allowed to get me drunk for the night. With that ruined for her she then turned to Uta with a bottle of blood wine. “Then how about…”

“I don’t feel like getting drunk tonight either.” Uta replied and leaned back in his seat. Itori looked baffled. “Aweeeee, but…man you two aren't any fun tonight!”

“Sorry Itori!” I said and shrugged, a small smile crept onto my face. “Uta had to carry me back last time cause I couldn’t walk straight! We are not playing ‘get the human wasted’ again any time soon!”

“It was fun though…” The female pouted but then relented. “Oh well. Next time. Anyway...as mentioned this is Nico! He’s really just a dear. Don’t worry about him.”

I smiled, faintly. “Hello then, Nico...I’m Aika. It’s nice to meet you…” I examined his clothing and my eyes paused on the scarf and little smiley face pin. “I like your scarf. I could never pull off those colors...and the pin is super cute.”

I saw something change just then; something very small. The way he was looking at me.  
He’d been looking at me like I was just a ‘cute’ toy Uta brought for some show-and-tell. But now he looked like he finally saw me. A real live person. Nico looked down at his own clothes for a moment; a hand brushed his pin I’d complimented. He smiled; sweeter and gentler than before. “Oh dear...thank you. That’s...very kind of you to say.”

I dropped my gaze to my drink; unsure what else to add. I nursed it slowly and didn’t give Itori any openings to add anything more to my cup. Uta eventually got a mug of coffee to drink. Although I wasn’t included in the conversations I was happy enough to listen in a little bit.

I learned some unfortunate things about Shuu. The gourmet was a member of something called the “Ghoul Restaurant”. It had exclusive entry restrictions; only members allowed. From what I gathered from my friends conversations the ghouls of the restaurant kidnapped humans...it was part of a large black market of human trafficking. 

“I was thinking of seeing if we could get our favorite one eyed ghoul to check it out again...Tsukiyama seems pretty interested in Ken…maybe he’d be invited for a second time and get something useful...” Itori said and seemed to ponder. Her eyes drifted to me and paused. There were practically gears clicking behind that expression; plotting. “Or…Aika-chan!” She practically cheered my name and I knew whatever she was about to say I wasn’t going to like. “You are close with Tsukiyama, aren't you? Maybe he’d tell you about it. You could get an invi---”

“No.” Uta said firmly from my side; his hands clenched tight around his mug. Under the pressure I was afraid the little cup might shatter. Not once had I ever seen him look so... emotional or aggressive. His relaxed and neutral expression was gone and the male was practically glaring daggers at the woman across the bar.. “...Are you trying to get her killed? After what happened to Ken?”

“Well if she’s friends with him I don’t think he’d----!!!” She stopped mid sentence, seeing his face clearly. The redhead held up her hands, suddenly looking defeated. “Fine! Fine! Sorry...I just want information on the organization so bad…”

I reached and gently laid a hand on my friends wrist, shooting him a worried glance. He didn’t turn his head; only his eyes moved to look away from his redhead friend and met mine. Regardless, his face and his grip on the mug relaxed. I pulled my hand away and turned towards Itori. There was no way I’d agree to go to someplace like the restaurant. I didn’t need him to get upset about this - not when I was smart enough to deal with it on my own.  
“No thanks, Itori...I’m not going anywhere near a place like that. Anyway, I haven't seen Shuu in weeks. Itori if you want to go so bad why not just ask him yourself…?”

“I can’t just ask! It’s more complicated than just...” The woman pouted but seemed to understand that Uta wasn’t going to allow it and I wasn’t going to be budging from what I’d said.

“How cute!~” I heard from the sidelines of our conversation. “I like this!~” Nico wiggled a finger at Uta and myself. He seemed amused by something. “Keep her safe Uta-kun! Anyway, I’m afraid I must fly!”  
Nico stood and gave me a final look over before heading out the door. “It was a pleasure to meet you Aika! Do try and stay safe?”

♥

“He seemed nice.” I said after Uta announced we should leave the bar for the night. It felt like we were leaving early. I wondered if Itori’s comments had upset him even more than he'd let on. It’s not like she’d purposefully be trying to get me killed. Probably.

I was trying to talk to fill the quiet. “I was nervous when you got all tense...why’d you seem so upset that he was there? Isn’t he one of your friends?” 

“He is…” Uta answered and then went quiet again. I could hear there was more to it than just that though. “But?”  
“...but he’s dangerous.” That was hardly a valid reason for me. After all Renji had tried to warn me that Uta was dangerous and I should stay away; as though that was an option. I was getting tired of people trying to tell me that one ghoul or another was ‘dangerous’. No shit.

“Uta. You are also dangerous.” I rolled my eyes. “Well anyway, don’t be upset with Itori...I’d have never agreed to ask Shuu about that place. We were friends before but…” Before his spontaneous appearance at the cafe It had been so long since I’d spoken to him last. What’s more I didn’t completely trust him after all the things I’d heard from other ghouls. I’d likely avoid being alone with him now. It was unfortunate, hurt my heart but I knew it was the smartest plan. “...that was years ago.”

Eyepatch on the other hand should probably be warned about Tsukiyama. If he didn't already know. For a ghoul he seems kind of naive. Maybe on Monday I’d see if I could have a chat with him…

“Oh! Right! So are you going to tell me what you had planned for tomorrow yet!?” I grinned and tried to pry out an answer from him again for the 100th time. “Nope. It’s a surprise.”

“Come on, what kind of surprise? Like, you have to tell me so I know what to wear!” I tried to reason with him but to no avail.  
Uta left me in front of my own doorway with the promise that he’d be there to pick me up the next night for the surprise. He was apparently going to be away from the shop for the day though; so I wouldn’t be able to visit. I'd have to entertain myself for the day. After spending so much time with Uta though I knew Bjorn would love to have my undivided attention.


	17. Chapter 17: Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is totally "not a date"...there is no date in sight. I swear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE! Because i updated so soon! It's a short one
> 
> and I also realized I kind of screwed up on the order of events and I can't really fix it now...unless I edit slightly on the last chapter. (Chapter 16) I may do that.  
> Because in the manga and Anime Ken goes to the ghoul restaurant BEFORE Hinami’s mother is killed. Woops.  
> Now it happens after. :T Derp. Ehhhrg. I’m gonna get so mixed up...
> 
> EDIT: I changed a few words in chapter 16 so that Ken already went to the Ghoul Restaurant. Past tense. And Itori was trying to get Aika to go instead to get info she didn't get from Ken.  
> If you read after 3/4/2020 then your all caught up!
> 
> This one is a little shorter but i felt it was the best place to leave off.

Chapter 17:

Bjorn was absolutely loving the attention he was getting because I stayed home and pampered the pup all day. I took him on the looongest walk in weeks! Then when we got back he got a bath. While the bath part wasn’t his favorite he lived for the hair dryer and following brush and comb out. After it was all said and done he was even fluffier than normal.

“Aren't you just the cutest marshmallow! Yes you are!” I cooed at the dog again and he wiggled with delight. It was just baby-talk but the creature loved it since I’d done it since he was a puppy. “I know you’ve been trying to protect me so much over the last couple weeks. Thinking all my new friends might hurt me! But they aren't! No! They are good friends!~” I pet his face as he stared up at me with adoration.

“You’ll get used to them…and Touka will come around. I know she will.” I found myself wanting to try and make friends with her - and my natural instinct was to try to bring her food like I’d thought to bring Uta before I knew anything. But I reminded myself that that wasn’t possible since she couldn't eat cake. So some other gift might be needed. 

But what to get her?  
I hardly knew anything about her so far just because she was reluctant to speak to me. Certainly she never told me anything personal. Uta on the other hand may know more about her. If she’d had a mask done he was sure to have asked her questions about herself - and they obviously knew each other.

I got around for the night; totally unaware of where we were going. I took another scalding hot shower and scrubbed. It was probably pointless to try to get the scent off of me now that I was about the spend the night around the ghoul; but I still tried.

I was totally clueless what I should be trying to dress for. So I went with my usual - comfy clothes. It’s not like Uta ever seemed to mind that I was dressed in crop tops and sweatpants. I did skip the sweatpants tonight though and went for jeans. Jeans with holes in the knees - but jeans nonetheless.

I jumped when I heard a knock at the door and Bjorn barked like mad. Hushing the dog I peeked out the door’s peephole and spotted my ghoulish friend waiting for me. “Hey!” I said as I opened the door for him.

“Ready to go? Got your mask?”

“Yeah.” I patted my bag. Locking my door up tight I asked the male a question. “Do I really need to carry it everywhere with me?” 

“It’s just in case we run into the doves...you don’t want them knowing your face if your going to be around ghouls…”  
“Oh....yeah. They’d just as happily kill me at this point…”

Uta leaned in close and took a few brief sniffs; cocking his head to one side and peering down at me with this unreadable expression. My own expression turned owlish; my eyes wide as I looked up at him. “Um...Uta? What’s up?”

“...hum. No. It’s nothing.”

He placed his mask over his face and I followed suit after digging it out of my bag. “I’m going to carry you again...keep your eyes shut. No peeking.”  
“Have you got a blindfold, or are you just trusting me to keep my eyes shut?”  
“...trusting you to keep them shut. You’ll ruin the surprise…”

“Alright. Alright! Just don’t drop me!” He knelt down with his back facing me and let me clammer on again. At least this time it was easier now that I wasn’t completely wasted. I tucked my head against his shoulder and held on with my thighs and arms. Finally I closed my eyes behind my mask.  
“Set.”

It was a little unnerving being moved around like this with no idea where we were going. I tried my hand at trying to tell which direction we had started out in - but I lost track after a while and just had to trust the ghoul. After I lost track I spoke up again. “Have you learned my scent yet?” I chuckled softly, But I caught myself and stopped laughing when he replied. “No.”  
“O-oh?...I would have thought by now..- I mean you keep sniffing…”  
“...not yet.”

“Well. Why not?”  
“Because you were uncomfortable. I didn’t want to scare you.”

“You had no issues scaring me the other night!” He chuckled softly; a sound that reverberated and I could feel it through his torso. But then he fell silent. I was about to say something when he spoke up again. “It’s different. Startling you is one thing; but I didn’t want to scare you away. I thought at first there would be a day you left my shop and never came back to visit.”

“...but you kept coming back. You always came back.”

"Yeah of course Ieeeeeeeee-!!!"I yelped, cutting off my sentence as the ghoul began to climb something completely vertical. Clenching down harder around his waist and neck; I whined. “What on earth are you climbing Uta!?”

The man grunted, an uncomfortable sound and stopped moving. “Ease up on the grip. You're not going to fall. I’ve got you...Ai-chan. I promise.”

I loosened up a little with some coaxing which seemed to be enough for the ghoul because he resumed moving upwards. As the minutes passed I felt more and more uneasy. I couldn’t see the height we were at but I could hear and feel the wind rush past us. I would have sworn I could feel the pull of gravity increase as we went up.

Finally, he pulled himself up over a ledge, adjusted me a little and made a few quick heart stopping leaps up higher. “There we are. We’re here but...keep your eyes shut still..”

I let him move me from his back onto ‘solid’ ground. “Now don’t move Ai-chan.”

“You know for someone who didn’t want to scare me this is really, really scary!” I argued; fear escaping from my voice as I could imagine how high up we were. Regardless, Uta guided me to a spot and had me sit. In a few moments of mostly him just struggling to get me to move without falling; we were both seated with legs dangling over some unknown edge. His arms were around my waist holding me to him like a safety belt as I sat in front of him; his thighs on either side of me. I clawed my fingers into his arms as a lifeline.

“Okay Ai-chan...open your eyes.”

“I don’t think I want too…”

“I got you all the way up here...just open them.”  
Biting my lip, I did as I was told and opened my eyes to the most beautiful scene of my life.  
"A ghouls eye view of the city...and a few construction workers." He muttered, leaning forward to see my eyes through the mask.  
I was breathless. Literally.

"Breathe Ai-chan…"

"This is…" My eyes trailed over the city from our perch. Lit up by millions of homes, businesses and cars. From here the people still milling around looked like a stream of little ants. Looking straight down made my stomach do somersaults and I looked up again at the skyline.

Seeing where we were sitting didn’t help my vertigo. The building seemed to be in mid-construction; almost done but the roof and a few top floors were mostly just large I-beams, each only about a foot wide. I leaned hard into the ghoul, not afraid of being too close if the other options were a fall and death.

He laughed at me and may tease me later but he also seemed...glad. Glad that I was so close to him without being terrified. Glad that I trusted him to drag me up this fucking building where if I fell it would be too my death. I could see why he’d chosen not to climb the building when it was wet; ghoul or not we might have both fallen…  
I eased up on my death grip and tried to fully enjoy the scene in front of my eyes. I looked at the people, the cars, the lights as they flickered and shone. Only the stars were hidden here - I’d only ever really seen them in the country when I’d gone hunting. But the city looked like it’s own star.

"It doesn't bother me now...the sniffing. It's just a ghoul thing right? It seems like you rely more on scent than humans do…" I said after a while. “And I’m not going anywhere Uta…”

"...so. I don't know what you do to learn a scent but…" I trailed off quietly.

"Hum...Either by being around someone for quite some time. Learning their scent from passing...or…" He removed his mask from his face, sliding it up and angling the leather piece up on top of his head where it was out of the way. The ghoul leaned his face into the crook of my neck, his nose and lips brushing over skin where the pulse beat a fast unsteady rhythm. He breathed in a long, deep breath and sighed out softly. The air tickled past my throat. "...being very close, but for a shorter amount of time."

I fell quiet again. Blushing, feeling nervous and a little afraid...but I found that despite all that, I would not have minded sitting just like this for a very long time.

♥

I relaxed after some time had passed. My flushed face died down, and my pulse calmed to it’s normal steady beat as I grew accustomed to Uta’s even breathing next to my neck. If I didn’t know better I’d have argued that he’d fallen asleep there.  
But good things don't last forever. I started to shiver as the night set in with a chill.

“Ai-chan…”  
“Hum…?”  
“Do you want to go back now? You’re shaking.”  
“Yeah. It’s cold…” He tugged his mask back in place and helped me get back onto his back; my eyes squeezed shut as renewed vertigo almost had me swaying off the side of the building. Holding on for dear life, I very nearly screamed as the descent was far, far worse than the climb up had been. Finally at the bottom I nearly leapt off the piggyback ride. I’d have been happy to kiss the ground if I had to.

“I can’t feel my ass.” I said, realizing I’d been sitting directly on the cold metal I-beam.  
The ghoul chuckled softly. “Don’t worry, it’s still there.”

It took me a hot second to process what he’d said but when he did I sputtered. “You ARE an ass.”

“If you don’t believe me, Ai-chan I could feel it for you if you’d like…”

“No! Don’t be---” I was about to call him a perv before I froze like a deer in the headlights. I saw the figure at the head of the alleyway Uta had landed us in right before they yelled.  
“GHOULS! OVER HERE!” I almost felt like turning and looking behind us- but I knew. By “ghouls” he’d meant Uta and myself.

A hand wrapped around my wrist while I stood frozen. I was suddenly being tugged along by Uta in the opposite direction as the dove calling to his partner. I was yanked this way and that; nearly missed by something that crashed behind us. Looking backwards over my shoulder I saw two suited humans running after us. What stole my attention though was a large tentacle sword that looked straight out of a nightmare as it seemed to reach for us.

I could hear them yelling to each other and/or into a phone or radio. “We need an ID, Heading towards the 4th ward....Confirm ID…”

Uta pulled me around as I struggled to keep up with the speed. I knew I was definitely going to be sore later. My limbs were tugged on, my legs burned and I could feel the strong pressure that Uta was inadvertently leaving on my wrist. He pulled me sharply towards him as the tentacle sword smashed down where I had been standing. There was nothing to say; no complaints to make or questions to ask. Not until we got away.  
“ID confirmed! It’s No Face…”  
“The other one?”  
“Nothing on record....”

We took a corner and I was lifted off the ground up into the ghouls arms. It was for the better it seemed because now he ran at full pelt with little regard for obstacles. Unfortunately; this position gave me a perfect view over his shoulder of the crashing weapon behind us.  
A kagune.  
Or rather; A quinque. What had once been a ghoul.

I felt useless as Uta carried me away from danger, but he was gaining distance from them quickly. He didn’t stop when we got ‘home’. Instead he passed the familiar landscapes and continued, moving north towards the 5th ward well after I thought he lost the two doves.  
When we (or rather he) did finally stop running and put me down he was breathing a little harder than was normal. Anybody would have after a sprint like that! “Aika...are you okay?” He reached over and checked me; spinning me to the right and left to make sure. I could see where he’d grabbed me and pulled me along had already started to turn black and blue. But apart from that I was lucky to be unscathed. “Yeah. I’ll be sore in the morning but I’m not hurt...”

I took a big inhale and exhale of breath and leaned against a wall; shaking slightly. “Scared?”  
“Cold…” I answered. I was shaking mostly because I was cold. “And a little scared.” I added, mostly because I didn’t want to hide that I was even just a little afraid; there was no point to it. I’d been afraid for both of us. “You can sure run fast though. Almost makes me wish I had the power to scale a skyscraper, jump off a skyscraper and then outrun a special police force…that’s crazy...”

He smiled very faintly while he yanked out his ponytail to redo it. “Hum...That’s hard to imagine. Ai-chan as a ghoul?” He fixed his hair and put it right again; just as it had been before we’d run for our lives. 

“Not what I meant. But is it safe to go home?”

“No...we shouldn’t head back yet. They’ll probably be patrolling around for quite some time...I’ll bring you to Anteiku.

♥

“What the hell happened here?!” I said looking at the mess in the front of the cafe, leading up the stairs. Blood. Touka and Ken sat on the couch patching the half-ghoul up. “Are you guys okay?”  
“He’ll be fine…we just got into some trouble. It’s none of your business...” Touka answered, trying to be tart as usual but she just sounded tired. I looked between them. Ken looked like shit. Touka didn’t look much better. He’d at the very least had cuts all over. I took out my phone and startled dialing. “Wha-who are you calling?”

“The boss, who else? You guys barged in here lookin’ like you went through a woodchipper. There’s blood downstairs. You need to eat and rest, and none of us have the keys to the refrigerators. Of course I’m going to call him to come help! Don’t be stupid.”

I pushed the call button and held the phone up to my ear and waited; Touka’s fiery expression died down and now she only looked at the ground. Apparently even she could see the sense in that. On the other end of the line I heard Yoshimura’s voice. “Ms. Aika, are you alright? It’s very late to be calling…”

“Yes sir. I’m really sorry to bother you at this late hour…” I shot the ghouls a glance. “I ran into some trouble and came back to the cafe...but it seems like I wasn’t the only one with a rough night. Touka and Ken are here at the cafe; They’re all beat up......”

There were a few moments of silence that worried me before I heard a reply from the older gentleman. He sighed. I felt bad for calling when he sounded so old and tired. I really hated to be the bearer of bad news. “I’ll be over in a few minutes Ms. Aika.”

“Thank you sir…” I hung up and stared at Ken. I stood up, leaving Uta’s side and went to the bathroom to rummage out a first aid package. Returning I started dabbing cuts on his face. “He’ll heal...you don’t need to…” The girl sighed out realizing I wasn’t going to stop anyway.  
She didn’t let me near her though. 

By the time Yoshimura walked in Ken had bandages on the worst of his cuts while I left the littler ones alone; assuming that after he ate those would be the first to heal up. “There you go...that’s a little better.”

“Ms. Aika...and Uta. Are you two alright?” I held up my hands to show I was alright to the manager. Unfortunately after treating the injured ghoul I had a little blood on my hands. Awkwardly I smiled while Yoshimura took stock of the situation. “Yeah. We’re fine. We ran into trouble...but I guess we got off really easy while these guys...er...didn’t. I tried my best to patch up this guy…”

“I see…” The old man scanned the room and nodded. “I’ll bring you all something to eat. I would like to hear what happened from Kaneki and Touka.” He turned to myself and Uta. "You two should head home..."

"Er...well about that. I think I'll just stay here and clean up a bit. Um..."  
"It's not safe for us to head back quite yet..." Uta answered. "We ran into a few patrolling doves and got chased around the 3rd and 4th wards for a while."

"Oh I see..."

"Anyway!" I cut in. "I should get this mess cleaned up while they...clean up themselves. We all have work tomorrow! You guys dragged blood all up the floor and the stairway!"

I wanted to be helpful. Valued. Important. Because I was the only human employee at Anteiku. I didn't mind as I tried to prove that helpfulness to the rest of them. So I got to work cleaning blood off the floors and carpets while the ghouls ate in another room and tried to heal. Uta stayed when I made him a cup of coffee. He sat sipping his drink.

"Uta, you know you can head home whenever it's safe. I'm going to stay here. At this point I don't think there's any point in going back...I can't sleep much anyway." I dug around in my pocket and pulled out my keys. "Do...you think you could do me a favor though? Just stick your head in and make sure Bjorn is okay? Um...but be a little careful because he might actually bite you if you go in without me."

The man hesitated but took my keys from me and agreed. "Yeah. Sure. Do you need anything else?" He asked before he left the cafe. "No. Just..." I paused and felt a bit corny asking but with everything that had happened to night I thought I deserved it. "...send me a text when you get home safe?" 

♥

I looked at my phone a few times reading and re-reading the message from Uta that said he’d made it back safe. The ghoul had even stuck in his hand to take a picture of Bjorn. The pup didn’t look pleased in the picture but he seemed otherwise fine. Uta had probably been the most distressing thing to happen all night.

I survived until morning without much trouble. By the time the cafe would normally be open I was completely wiped out and drained. Touka and Ken left together. Finally I knew that the manager was the only one left in the building but he was upstairs. I didn’t know how I was going to get through the day; not to mention I’d forgotten that my uniform was at home and would have to either ask for another one for the day or run home to grab it. But at least the cafe on the other hand probably couldn’t look better than I did now.

Alone. Content. I half hummed, half sang quietly a melody of a song. As I worked it helped me sink into a nice calm state.

“I would know, in my heart that I’m a half of a whole...and it’s making me feel so alone…”♫

♫ “I tell myself I have to build defenses, ‘cause once you are in love, you are defenseless….”

“Nobody knows me, nobody knows me. I’m never lonely...until someone holds me.” ♫

I heard the sound of someone clearing their throat and spun to see the old manager. “O-oh, S-sir! You startled me!”

“I’m sorry to interrupt you’re lovely singing dear...but why don’t you head home now?” I stared at the boss with his kindly old man smile. “Eh? But…I got it all clean to open...”  
“We’ll be alright for the day. Unfortunately this isn’t the only time our staff have needed to recover. Irimi and Koma can handle it. You’ve been working all night. I can’t have you work yourself to death, can I?” He looked around to see if my long night working had paid off. “Truthfully, I haven't seen this place look this good in so long…it is nice to see it dazzle like this again.”

“Ms. Aika, before you do leave. May I ask what sort of trouble you got up to last night?”

“Oh! It wasn’t anything too terrible...Uta and I just ran into some doves while we were out.”  
I could see that this wasn’t a good enough answer for the old ghoul. “Er...well. They chased us. Cause we had our masks on just in case...er...and...well that is about it.”

“What were you doing that got you into trouble?”

“Nothing much. I mean he...he just brought me up to a really tall building to see the city from up high. It was pretty!” The man's face relaxed instantly; apparently whatever he’d been worried about cleared right up. “Oh...that is good to hear.”

“Why? What did you think…?”

“I was afraid that he was bringing you to some dangerous places.…” I could have laughed at that because apparently the roof of a construction skyscraper wasn’t ‘dangerous’ enough to be included in the “do not bring humans” list. However I remembered Itori’s conversation of the “Ghoul Restaurant”. I had the sneaking suspicion he meant someplace like that...

“Don’t worry about me Sir. I’m doing just fine! I’ll see you tomorrow! Bright and early! I promise to get rest for it!”

♥


	18. Chapter 18: Tattoo talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LIFE GOES ON! WE HAVE PHILOSOPHY, BETRAYAL AND ANGST!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if chapters take longer. I normally wrote at night. But my jobs hours swapped to overnights. So I havn't had much time. Typing on mobile is harder. :(

The next week actually went remarkably smoothly all things considered. Life returned to ‘normal’ for the most part after our...outing? I hid my bruised wrist under a leather bracelet and may have been slightly limping around after that mad dash to get away from the doves...but I was happy to be busy and back at work. It kept my mind occupied and away from anything too uncomfortable to think about. What did not help was the further news of more CCG officer deaths in the ward. As I looked around the cafe I saw less and less of the usual customers here. Everyone seemed to be avoiding places where they were out in public. And the people who are still coming seem jumpy or stressed out. Apparently someone in the ward was creating trouble. A certain rabbit among some other familiar faces…

So there were more Doves.  
More Doves meant more encounters between investigators and ghouls.  
What was worse was there was apparently some ghoul organization or gang rallying up to make some kind of big move. Beyond that I was clueless. No matter how much I pressed and pestered my coworkers for details I was left half in-half out of the conversation. I tried to act like it didn’t bother me - but I wanted to know what was bothering my ghoul friends. Especially since it worried the manager enough that he insisted I got walked home by someone whenever possible.

Today, I didn't know who was even supposed to pick me up. Most of the time it was the quiet ghoul, Renji. Though lately he seemed preoccupied with something else entirely and declined to take me home. Then it had fallen to Touka; but I had to wait until her shift was over.

“Ai-chan.” I heard the soft voice from behind me and knew who it was without looking. “Uta! Hey! It’s been forever!” I spun around away from Irimi whom I’d been pestering with questions. Unfortunately she was good at avoiding giving me any solid answers. I grinned at the goth ghoul since I hadn’t seen much of him in the last couple days… being busy at work and all.   
I had hardly seen Uta since our outing on the city skyline; followed by being chased by CCG officers. Despite all appearances I wasn't avoiding the man. I was just busy.

“Can you make me a cup?” He asked, sitting in his usual spot and cocking his head.  
“You know I just got off work, right?” Despite saying so, I was already walking behind the counter to start a cup of coffee for the ghoul. “Thanks Ai-chan.”

He set a little white bag on the counter and slid it towards me while I was busy brewing the coffee for him. “Hum?"  
“Here. This is for you…”   
"You...got me something?” I looked at the bag with surprise and wonder. That was sweet of him.

I poured out his coffee into a cup and slid it across the counter to him. He picked it up and smelled it and blew gently to cool it down. He kept his eyes on me as I peered at the bag he'd said was mine. “You didn’t have to get me anything. I don’t have anything for you...”

I watched the ghoul as I picked up the little bag and tried to figure out what it was without opening it yet. Whatever it was it felt square inside; a little box. Up close I sniffed; just barely catch the smell of something over the overwhelming coffee smell of the cafe---!!! I smelled CHOCOLATE! The instant I could smell that I was peeking into the top of the bag with excitement.  
“A BROWNIE!” I cheered happily, seeing the desert at the bottom of the bag in a neat little bakery box. I got a few looks and chuckles from patrons who knew me. “You got me a brownie!!!!”

“You like those don’t y----?”  
“YES!!! I love brownies!” I grinned as I pulled it out of the bag and took in a large lungful of the scent. The smell made my mouth water; and my craving was back! “Are these from the little bakery down the street? I’ve been wanting to visit there...that place always smells so sinfully delicious when I pass by! But I’ve been trying to resist going!”

“Yeah, I stopped by when I remembered you wanted those things from the grocery store.” I caught him staring at me as I looked gleefully down at the box in my hands. “Thank you Uta!”

"---but I really don’t have anything for you...I’m sorry.”  
"You’ve always brought me coffee. I thought I’d bring you something.” He took a sip off the top of the coffee now that it cooled a little bit.

“Aika, your shift ended almost a half hour ago...did you forget again?” Koma said, chuckling as he entered the area from a back door leading into the kitchen. “Huh? Oh yeah well...Uta wanted a cup of coffee.” The ‘devil-ape’ looked at the goth ghoul in front of me and smiled. “Ah, Hello there Uta! Are you stealing away our favorite server today?”

“What’s that supposed to mean Koma!” I heard Touka call over and tried to stifle a laugh into the back of my hand. Koma yelled back towards her; a grin on his face. “It means you gotta be nicer Touka!!! If you scowl like that nobody is going to like you!” 

I moved around the counter and sat down next to my favorite ghoul. I unwrapped my gift and took a little bite out of it. It was…  
DELICIOUS! I could have cried with delight as it melted in my mouth.  
“Good?” The ghoul by my side asked me.  
I swallowed the bite and sighed out contently. “The best! It’s so sweet and practically melts in my mouth! There’s little chunks of chocolate through it too! They made the outside crispy but didn’t burn it. While the inside is still chewy without being too spongy or too dry!!!”

I took another tiny bite so I could savor it. The ghoul smiled a bit more as I described the food to him. Since the ghouls couldn’t know what it was like I tried my best, especially for my curious friend.

Koma sighed, looking between Uta and myself. “You two seriously…” I looked up at him and blinked, head cocked to one side. I didn’t understand his comment. “What’s up Koma?”  
“Huh? Oh nothing…” The “devil-ape” smiled to himself and started wiping down the counter; peering down at my little treat. “But you make that sound pretty good…”  
“I’m sorry I guess it’s kinda a tease to describe it when you can’t eat it...”

“A little…” Uta said from my side. He took another sip and let out a content sigh. “But I like hearing anyway…”

I continued to nibble on the treat until it was sadly gone. I still kind of wanted more but at least the craving was partially satisfied! Maybe later I could pick up some more of these…They were way too good to only have one. Now that I knew that bakery had these delightful treats I probably would have to try even harder to resist going in.  
“Done with the coffee Uta?”

“Yeah.” He placed money on the counter and stood up; both of us ready to head back towards home. “Bye guys! See you Monday!!!”

♥

I sniffed as we went past the bakery and Uta took notice. “Do you want to stop for something else?”  
“I’d better not actually…” I chuckled a little awkwardly. “With the way that smells, If I go in I doubt I could stop myself from buying too much…”

“Really? I wouldn’t have guessed you were a glutton with so little self control Ai-chan!~” When he spoke it felt like he was teasing me a little. “Yeah! Well...only with sweets.” I argued, a slight flush crossing my face. “I can’t help it! Anyway- I don’t normally buy that sort of stuff. It’s kind of frivolous. That sort of thing isn’t nutritious or anything. It just...tastes really good.”

With my limited pay from before, I couldn’t afford to be buying anything sweet or delicious too often. Only as a special treat had I gotten things like cupcakes or brownies. But the pay from Antieku had actually been able to pay for everything I needed and even left me some spending cash. It wasn't a huge difference but it was enough that I could actually budget in 'pocket' money. It was another rather nice change!

We passed the bakery without changing my mind about heading in; it took some effort and the ghoul laughed softly as I fidgeted. “I’ll keep that in mind…are you hungry?”

“...a little bit. But I can wait til I’m home. We’re not sitting through another episode of you trying to eat food in public.”

“You can order it for delivery to my place?” There was an idea I could get behind! “That works! As long as you don’t ever try to eat my food.”  
“Don’t eat mine.” He smirked as my expression changed to shock. “Oh heck. Don't worry about that! I’m not doing that!”  
“No? You don’t want to try an eye, Ai-chan!? It wouldn’t hurt you. I might have one in my pocket!”  
“No way!” I laughed, knowing it was just him teasing me again as he pretended to search his pockets for one. “You can keep your food, and I’ll keep mine! No crossovers!”

“Boring!~ But fine.”

♥

On the subway I took out my phone and started to type in my order. I paused, looking at all the options for pizza. I recalled there were some pretty funny things you could do with ordering delivery. Uta could be a pretty playful guy - but being a ghoul he wouldn’t have ever had the chance to do certain things. Maybe one of these days I’d do it and see what he thought of it.  
There were plenty of fun things like “none-pizza with left beef’ that he might find funny.

But for now I simply ordered a pie and relaxed in my seat. Until I felt weight on my shoulder and warmth at my side as the ghoul leaned on me with his chin resting on my shoulder. He was watching as I made the food order. I should push him away, or even just wiggle away from the exchange but…  
Even though there was heat in my cheeks I couldn’t help but enjoy the nervous energy that filled my stomach with butterflies. I was guilty of enjoying this attention but I couldn’t even rally enough nerve to ask him why he did it. It was a ghoul thing? But none of the others were so touchy. If anything it seemed like they were even less likely to try to get close. Not even Shuu had acted like this when we were younger.  
But I hadn’t seen him for nearly the whole week...I missed it.

Even after I was done ordering the ghoul didn’t remove himself from my side. Instead I felt a pair of fingers fiddling with my ears and realized that the ghoul was wiggling my newer piercings and examining them. They no longer hurt when they are moved. Since I’d gotten them I’d kept them exceptionally clean and wiggled them almost religiously. “How do they look Uta?”  
“They’re healing nicely. If you wanted more, I think it would be fine to add them in a few more days.”

“Yeah I still do want the second ones in the upper lobe.” I felt him gently pinch where I mentioned. “Here?”  
“Yup. That's the spot. And maybe in a few months...a tattoo? If you're still up for doing it?”  
Based solely on the way his eyes widened up and almost glittered I assumed the answer was a definite yes. “Have you thought of something you wanted?”

“I was trying too…” I turned my head and wiggled my shoulder finally. Forcing the ghoul to move his head and stare at me. It felt a bit like kicking a cat off your lap after they got comfortable. I looked at his neck tattoo's. “Maybe my favorite quote...not around my neck though…”

“What’s your favorite quote?”

“I guess it’s not a quote per say…There's just a story I was told as a kid. And it always just stuck with me." Uta leaned his head back on my shoulder as he listened. It really was pointless shaking off a cat (or an Uta) from your lap or shoulder in this case. They’d just come back anyway. “It’s kind of a long story though…”

“Let’s hear it…”

I took a moment to remember the whole thing, the way it was told to me. With a deep breath, I started to retell it. “The story went: An old Cherokee told his child the story of two wolves. Because there are two wolves fighting in everybody's mind. One that is good. He is Joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth and compassion. The second wolf; He is evil. He is anger, hatred, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, lies, false pride, and ego.”

“The child asks: Which one will win? And the old man tells him. “The one you feed...”

I smiled to myself as I remembered my uncle telling that to me years ago on a trip into the woods. I had sat at the edge of the fire staring up at the aging man while he told me stories. “But that wasn’t really the end to the story exactly. Because while they do fight, neither of the wolves will ever die.”

“If you only feed the good wolf, the evil one will be waiting around every corner to strike when you become weak or distracted. Ignore him and he will be angry and lash out. But if you acknowledge both wolves, they will both be happy and at peace. Because while many see him as ‘evil’ he has qualities that are good. Tenacity, courage, fearlessness, a strong will and strategic thinking. We need those things sometimes. While the ‘good’ wolf is kind and gentle, it doesn't have the strength and ability to recognize what’s in the best interest of all. To try to starve one side is to ignore half of your feelings. You’ll only have peace if you feed both and maintain a balance. My uncle taught me that...”

I took a deep breath and sighed out. “That’s way too long for a tattoo quote though. I need something shorter or maybe you can come up with a small image for the story?”

Uta was gazing at me; unblinking as I finished the retelling. His eyes looked far off and lost in thought. He nodded silently to my question, but didn’t reply past that. I had had a similar reaction to it when I’d heard the story for the first time. I had been an unruly child - even in captivity I was a monster to the hired help. Lashing out for my situation they had little to no control over - but that had helped me back then. I relaxed and let the ghoul think in silence as we finished our ride home. I nudged him off my shoulder again when I had to stand up for our stop. “Uta, we’re here.”

“Hum?” He looked around noticing we were back. “Oh, I see.”

“Let's hurry, the pizza should be delivered soon and I don’t wanna miss it!”

♥

The boy who delivered the food was a small teenager with a mousey, timid look and quiet voice. He had knocked but then barely whispered: “Pizza for a Ms. Aika.” I took my pizza and handed him his tip. I bid him a safe trip back and he sped off again. I couldn’t blame him for not wanting to stick around the area for long.

While I ate I noticed Uta watching me. Midway through a mouthful I stopped and raised an eyebrow at him: sending him a silent ‘what?’ He looked away and towards his sketchbook.

“That story you told me. You want something drawn inspired by it? And if I draw something...you’ll let me tattoo it onto you?” I had been looking over his art since the time I’d met him and loved every piece. Even the ones where he caught me sleeping with my mouth dropped open. Unflattering as those had been; they were good. So I didn’t hesitate to nod with the food still in my mouth. “Whatever I draw, Ai-chan? It’s more permanent than an earring.”

I swallowed my food and nodded again. “As long as it’s something inspired by the story, and nothing too big…” I looked at his hands. All the intricate little details were amazing when you realized the tattoo’s themselves were only a few inches across. Even if he did miss the mark on the story I did believe anything he drew would be amazing. “I like the ones you have. Especially the ones on the back of your hands and across your knuckles. They’re small but so detailed…”

He didn’t seem put off by my requirements, in fact after I agreed he stood up and came over to me; leaning down and took a look over my body. Self consciously I squirmed in my seat as he hovered around me. “I’m only looking for a good place for one.” Stopping at my upper right arm and prodding me he asked. “How about here?” I was relieved that he picked a normal place and not somewhere I’d have to tell him ‘no’. As much as I loved his tattoos i wasn’t ready to start completely filling up my skin with permanent marks.

He grabbed the measuring tools he normally used on people’s heads and faces as well as his sketchbook and measured out how much ‘canvas’ he'd have to draw on. Once he was done getting measurements he retreated back to his desk and bent over his sketchbook; already working on it.

I continued to chow down on dinner before I finally hit the full mark. I closed the box and made a mental note to put this away at home to save for tomorrow’s lunch. Uta lifted his head as I moved closer. His sketchbook was closed before I could get even a peek at what he’d started on. I raised my hands and smiled innocently. “Alright, alright. I won’t ruin the surprise. But I’m heading home for now."

“Already?” The disappointment in his voice almost made me tell him I’d stay. After being away for so long I didn’t necessarily want to leave so soon. But I had to get back to Bjorn at home. Give him a walk. Plus, I wanted to take a trip to some stores before it got dark.

“Yeah...But I’ll be back tomorrow if you’ll be around. I’m free all weekend actually. I had an idea for something fun we can do. It’ll be my surprise if I can find what I’m looking for tonight. I’m about to head out to some stores with Bjorn!”

I waved as I exited the building leaving the male to think up the tattoo he wanted to place on me. I still felt bad for leaving so soon but if I could find what I was looking for then it would be worth it!

♥

I searched the stores for what I needed for my ‘surprise’. After several stores, an argument with a shopkeeper on whether what I was looking for even existed, and then calming Bjorn down from charging in and barking at said shopkeeper: I finally found it. By some lucky chance the last store I thought to look actually had it! Since it was growing close to the two hour mark and I still wasn’t home I sent Uta a message. I told him I was still out but was heading home soon and would give him an update so he wouldn’t worry. And so ‘worry’ didn’t turn into him stalking me through the city. After thanking the store clerk profusely I left the shop and grinned down at Bjorn. 

“Who’s a good boy! You are!” I pulled a dog treat from my pocket and tossed it to him. He snapped his jaws in the air catching it and licked his lips. “Time to head home bud!”

With the magic words said he stood up and started to trot off towards home with myself following along behind him. I was almost home when my sensitive 6th sense kicked in and I took a good look around me. Bjorn’s hair stood on end but I couldn’t see anything that seemed----

“Princess!” I jumped about two feet into the air and whirled as Shuu stepped out where I could see him. “Shuu!” I said smiling faintly. I was suddenly nervous and Bjorn doubled back to growl at the ghoul. “Oh, I see your loyal protector is with you!”

“Always.” I said, patting the dogs head. “Sorry.”

“Oh no...it’s fine princess. I totally get it.”

“I haven't seen you much since the cafe though. I hear you work there now! I’d love to visit...but it seems I’ve been banned from the cafe. Sadly.” He let out a dramatic sigh and I smiled a bit more. Just like the old Shuu. He really hadn’t changed. I just never noticed the warning flags back then. He’d been banned for a damn good reason after what he’d apparently done to Ken. The poor kid. “Yeah...well. It is what it is. It is nice to see you once in a while though.”

“Well then Princess! How about we go on a little trip! I can bring you to this fabulous little cafe that I know of. It’s not as good as Anteiku but it is quite peaceful. Kaneki loved it! And you know the famous Takatsuki likes to get coffee there. So there’s a chance to run into a famous author!”

I pulled out my phone and pretended to glance at the time. But instead I pressed a speed dial and then held it at my side. I didn’t want to be cruel to my old friend, but I also didn’t trust him as much as I would have years ago. Actually - I didn’t trust him at all in this situation where I was on a nearly deserted road, in the middle of the 4th ward where nobody would come if I screamed for help. Warning bells were going off in my head. I couldn’t even fathom what he was doing here unless he’d chosen to come hunting here and or meeting a local. “No...Sorry. I was headed home before it got too dark.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I’ll be with you so nobody will think to do anything. I promise!” He took a step forward to reach for an arm until I took a step backwards and Bjorn growled louder at the ghoul. The purple haired gourmet ghoul paused seeing that I moved backwards away from him. For half a moment I thought I’d made a horrible mistake. For a split second Shuu’s facial expression flashed to a grimace as I moved away from him. “Shuu.” I said firmly. “Sorry. Someone’s waiting for me.”  
“Oh?” I froze when I could see he leaned forward and down to take a few sniffs in my direction. “Ah. I see. The mask maker. You two are rather close.” His friendly tone dropped off a little and his nose wrinkled as he looked down at me, no smile on his face now. “His scent is all over you. I heard some rumors...but I hadn’t really thought...”

I took another step backwards and stared up at my old friend. “I always wondered where you went Aika! For those years where you hung out with me and we played games; you were mine. And then you disappeared. Completely stopped coming back to see me. Can you imagine how that made me feel?”

“I realized afterwards when I met another girl why I never felt like eating you back then. You see, you were a cute little pet! You humans keep pets and don’t have any desire to consume them. Even if they are animals other people might eat…”

“Shuu...you're scaring me.”

“...and now you're still alive. My long lost pet!”

“Tsukiyama.” I flinched back further as I heard someone’s angry tone fill the air. My goth ‘hero’ appeared - phone in hand and a scowl on his face. “She’s mine.” I reached for Bjorn’s collar and pulled him with me despite his resistance; getting further away from Shuu and back towards Uta. 

They’d been right all along about Shuu even when I’d wanted to not believe them. Shuu and I had had fun back then; that much was absolutely true. But the ghoul didn’t look at me as anything but a pet that he lost track of...he’d made that perfectly clear a few moments ago.

“Ah, Princess. You didn’t need to call for help...I told you I never felt like eating you. I still don’t.” Regardless he looked on guard now that Uta showed up and let me move away from him towards Uta’s side without any attempts to stop me.

“You okay?” Without removing his eyes from Tsukiyama; Uta asked as I got to his side and put myself slightly behind him. Protected. “Yeah...I’m fine.” I said softly. I felt emotionally hurt and a little bit like crying; however I was physically unharmed. I wasn’t even sure Shuu had actually been a physical threat to me at that moment. 

But I hadn’t trusted him enough to find out.  
Uta had probably heard everything since I pushed ‘call’ through my phone. He’d found me pretty damn quickly too.

“Je suis désolé.” The gourmet held up his hands in a cheery submission I found peculiar. It was like he didn’t want to show he was on guard or nervous; but didn’t want a fight. “I’m sorry. I’m not here to steal your property Uta-san!~I guess my lost pet has found a new home. Take care of her for me, would you?”

"...get lost."  
♥

I watched as my old ‘friend’ disappeared down the road. When he was out of sight I let out a sigh of air I’d been holding in. I was glad that it hadn’t boiled down to anything but a glaring match. I wondered why Shuu had backed down. Either because I didn’t matter that much to him as a ‘pet’ or maybe Uta was just stronger than him.

“I guess I get into trouble every time I leave my house…”

“Yes. You do.”

I held my shopping bag to my chest as I stared at the ground. It seemed that for three years I’d gone without too much troubling me (at least ghoul related) and now every couple days it was something new and interesting. Ghouls. CCG. Muggers…  
The muggers weren't new at least…

“Are you okay?”  
“He didn’t hurt me. I just...got nervous…you found me pretty fast too.”  
“I figured you weren’t far. I left as soon as you called. Let’s head back…”

“He’s the third person to tell me I smell like you.” I pouted while I followed the ghoul back towards home.

“Really? Who’s told you?” He said, turning to look at me over his shoulder. He didn’t look surprised; only curious as to whom had told me. “Hinami. And then I asked Renji after she mentioned it. I figured it was because of all the time I was spending with you.”

“I’ve barely seen you all week.”

“I’ve been busy!” I said, a small pout on my face. “It’s not like I’m avoiding you!”

“No?”

“No!” I answered emphatically. I almost blurted that I loved spending time with him. All my time; whenever I had any spare. But I choked on it as he looked at me again. “I thought after my surprise…”

“Well that...that could have ended better.” I admitted with a grimace. “I don’t really enjoy being chased around town by the CCG with a tentacle sword.” Apparently “Tentacle sword” was enough to get the male to laugh softly. “A quinque.”

“I know. But it was literally a tentacle! You can’t stand there and argue that it wasn’t.”  
Regardless of how funny it was to call it something so silly; I could still remember how scary it had been. I had nearly been hit with it, and I didn't doubt it would have killed me if Uta hadn’t pulled me out of the way. I hadn’t allowed myself to address it with the ghoul until now.

Uta guided me past my door and towards his before I stopped short. “Uta, I’ve got to get Bjorn his food. And I thought maybe I’d retire for the night…you know. Since every time I leave my house I seem to get into trouble.”

“Can I come in then?”

I did a quick mental check to try to remember how messy my apartment was. I remembered that it was actually a huge mess. I needed to do laundry and clean up a bit. “Actually...no. I’ve been so busy I haven't had time to clean up any…”

“Oh. Alright.” He replied, he still cocked his head to one side to try and peek around me though as I let in Bjorn. “I’ll see you tomorrow Uta?”

“Yeah. The store will be closed tomorrow...I’ll leave the door open for you. Just come in.”  
“Alright…” I almost left the conversation there and retreated back into my safe and cozy apartment. But there was that nagging question I’d had since I’d run into Shuu.  
“Uta?” He stopped and looked back at me; eyebrows raised as I called out to him. I was afraid of the answer I might get, but I also couldn't let the question fester like a wound in my mind. 

“...do you think I’m a pet. Or property?”

♥


	19. Chapter 19: Pet talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Looks like Aika caught some feels and dosn't know what to do with them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying to convince myself NOT to make a playlist for this fic. It's not going well...  
> Also we are getting very close to 100k...shit man.  
> That's a lot of words.

Chapter 19:

“A pet?”

I dropped my gaze away from my friend. A person whom I had grown close to, cared for and hoped they thought of me the same. At the very least, not like Shuu.  
“Shuu said I had been his ‘pet’ in the past. Then you said: ‘she’s mine’’ a few minutes ago. Other ghouls referred to me as ‘yours’. Even that friend at the bar implied both that I was a pet and that he was surprised I was still around because he assumed you would have killed and a-ate me by now...Even when people don’t really say what they mean. That doesn't mean I can't hear it behind the coding…I'm not stupid and it's not going over my head. I understand perfectly what they mean to say.”

“--I’m not property. A toy. Or a pet…” I muttered softly. The butterflies in my stomach had to be put to a stop if that were the case. If that was how he actually thought of me then I’d have to catch and stomp out the life from each and every one of them. Or I’d be completely doomed; hopeless.

“You're…”

“...a friend.” Uta said in a quiet tone after a moment of hesitation. The pause confused me a little bit and I looked up from the ground. He’d walked back towards me; but stopped a comfortable distance to give me space. The distance gave me the option to retreat into my ‘safe’ house. “You’re MY friend. You know perfectly well what I am Ai-chan, and you live in my territory. If other ghouls know you are ‘‘mine’ then you're safer from them…” 

“So saying I’m “yours”; it’s just...ghoul politics?”  
“Something like that...”

I chewed my lip; watching him while he calculated my own responses. “Ai-chan...If you want to talk more about this,can we go inside?” Uta said, looking up and down the road. It was quiet but that didn’t mean that there weren't any extra unwanted pairs of ears listening in. I nodded my head in agreement since I understood his worry. Our conversation wasn’t over though. “My house is a mess…”  
“Then come back with me.” He nodded towards his shop and home.  
It wasn't like I didn’t feel comfortable going with him. Uta harming me wasn’t a fear that I had much in my mind recently. But if I went: "I'd have to walk back in the dark Uta..."  
“Stay overnight. My couch is yours when you want it. Bjorn can come too if you want. I don’t mind.”

I looked back into my apartment at Bjorn who watched me expectantly. I had to feed him. I debated it internally and then nodded. “Alright, can you wait here while I get him some food?” The dog behind me wiggled more vigorously when hearing ‘food’ and knew I meant for him. Despite the tension seeing him wiggle like that made me smile a little bit.

“Yeah. I’ll wait.”

I ducked into my house, closed the door and leaned back against it, letting out a long tired sigh. I’d asked him. I’d actually just blurted out that question! His response hadn't entirely answered any of my questions entirely. However, he HAD called me a friend. That was enough to soothe me just the smallest bit. I got Bjorn’s food from the fridge and dropped it into the doggie bowl. I took my time to wait around as my heart calmed down back to a normal rate.

So it was ghoul politics and he was being...territorial and possessive. That was all. Ghouls could be like that. He'd told me as much before; hadn't he? Experimentally I sniffed my shirt’s shoulder. Was it really that obvious to other ghouls? I didn’t smell a thing but Shuu had looked downright offended when he smelled Uta on my person.

So was Shuu’s claim that I belonged to him all that different from Uta’s? Then there was the way that Shuu had backed off instantly after the goth appeared on scene. What made the other ghoul back down? It seemed submissive in a way that was so completely unlike the Tsukiyama I knew. If I could even still say I knew him. Obviously I’d missed the mark when it came to that particular man.  
I just didn’t want this to repeat with Uta. I did not want to sit here thinking we were close, to care for him or worse; let feelings develop only to find out he thought of me as just something interesting to play with and got bored.

I changed my clothes from my work outfit into something more comfortable. A tank-top with sweats and a graphic hoodie. I went for a pair of black flip flops with pink lotus flowers for my feet.  
“Okay Bjorn, be a good boy. We are going with Uta tonight.”

On the way out I grabbed the bag with Uta’s little gift. It was meant for tomorrow, but if I was going to stay I might as well grab it now. When I went back outside I saw that Uta had in fact waited for me. He was leaning against the opposite apartment's wall and scrolling through his cell phone. When I reappeared with Bjorn by my side he shoved the phone back into a pocket. 

“So what is that?” He looked at the bag in my hands, head tilting curiously. “A surprise. It was supposed to be for tomorrow.” That might depend on how our conversation ended though.

I walked along with the ghoul back to his shop, my dog walking between us and bumping up against my side. Once we were inside Uta didn’t stop at his desk or sit down. Instead he walked right back to the door heading to his apartment. He paused in the doorway and looked back at me. “Uh...Ai-chan. Before you called I was getting ready for dinner. So you might want to wait down here. Just a few minutes?”

I stopped and stood there with a blank expression as my brain went to static. Dinner.  
His dinner…  
“Eh...er. Yeah. Yeah, Yes. no. I’ll stay down here. Away...while you eat. T-thanks…” I managed to stutter and stumble out my words. The ghoul nodded and continued up his stairwell to his living quarters. “I’ll call you up when I’m done…”

“Y-yeah…” I sighed out and sat down on his desk chair. It was already too late for him to hear me. I was thankful that the ghoul thought to let me hang out away from him while he ate his dinner. My eyes fell on the sketchbook he had been drawing in earlier and a little dish of eyeballs sat next to it. Bjorn walked around sniffing at different things while we waited.

It had only been a few hours since the ghoul and I had been having a conversation on what tattoo I wanted. The tattoo....  
I stared at the cover of the sketchbook for a long minute. I wanted to look; especially after Uta had closed the book so I couldn’t see. Right now I had the perfect opportunity. I could snoop. See what he sketched...but that wouldn’t be nice. Plus I’d only end up ruining the surprise.

Curbing my curiosity I turned my attention to looking at the eyeballs in the shallow dish. I grimaced as they stared lifelessly back at me. Did he just leave these wherever? Yet he was worried about being overheard by someone in the alleyway talking...

I looked up from the lifeless stare when I heard my name being called. At which point I went to the doorway leading up and leaned to stare up the stairs. Just to make sure I hadn't imagined being called and then accidently walked into a scene I didn't want to see: I yelled up.“Yeah?” 

“You can come up now.” Uta said from somewhere; it sounded muffled. “Er...Okay. I’ll be up in a second...” Making a split second decision I picked up the little dish very carefully so it wouldn’t spill anything gross onto myself and carried it up with me. Bjorn bound up the stairs and shoved the door open wide. The dog was happy to run around sniffing all the things he could. Obviously the dog could smell Uta living here.  
I didn’t see him but I could hear the sink in the bathroom running water. I tossed off my flip flops at the doorway and walked into the living room. I placed the little dish on his coffee table and looked around for the ghoul. “Uta…” I poked my head around the corner of the bathroom. The door was open. 

This grown man looked up at me with wide eyes and a toothbrush stuck out of his mouth and foaming bubbles.  
“Eh..S-sorry.” I held a hand over my mouth to stifle the laugh that tried to bleat out of me so suddenly. “Whaph’s ‘o phunny?” He muffled out with his mouth full of toothpaste bubbles. With that finally pushing me over the edge I snorted and walked away giggling. 

A minute later he walked out of the bathroom wiping his mouth. I had calmed down from my giggle fit, sobered by the knowledge I'd have to continue the conversation we had been having. I took a deep and steadying breath. "That was funny. But...Our conversation from before isn't over."

“No, I suppose it wasn’t.” He paused to look at the eyes that sat on his table now. I followed his gaze and stammered. "Oh. You left those downstairs. I brought them up with me. I'm not exactly an expert but letting them sit out overnight...didn't sound like a good idea..."

He picked up the dish and brought it into his kitchen where I heard the fridge door open, he placed his ‘snacks’ away and closed it again. The ghoul came back empty handed. "Thanks."

"No problem..."

For a few moments he stood there silently, staring at me as I fidgeted. How should I start?  
"Ask your questions. And then I'll ask you some of my own. Fair?" He said breaking the quiet moment. He sat down on one end of his couch and lounged out comfortably while I stayed standing and fidgeting. He patted the couch with a hand, trying to get me to move to sit down and get comfortable. But I remained where I was and shuffled my feet about. "What does being my 'friend' mean to you? Shuu...I thought he was a friend. At times he said I was. I never realized he only ever saw me as a pet or plaything..."

“...and the only reason he didn’t want to eat me was because he thought of me like that. I guess I’m the stupid one because you warned me about that...”

I wasn’t brave enough to lift my eyes to look at the artist. Friendships between ghouls and humans. How was that supposed to work exactly? I thought we had been doing a good job. But there were so many worries that still plagued me at times. It was getting worse for me now when I didn’t know how to feel. I’d feel myself getting closer, leaning in and letting him get very near whenever he wanted. That sort of thing was getting familiar and sometimes I completely forgot that he was technically from a totally different species.  
For a human I thought being close to a ghoul meant acceptance that they couldn’t change. They had no power over what they were anymore than I did. Humans and ghouls both were assigned a role when they were born. I accepted that we were both living, breathing and thinking creatures. They had some more...primal instincts; But that didn’t mean they were monsters.  
In most respects, from what I could see - they were not much different from humans.  
But more than just acceptance of his nature, being around him in the ‘ghoul’ side of the world meant I would be in danger. Other ghouls might look at me like I was a pet or plaything, because to them being FRIENDS with a ‘meal’ would be unacceptable.  
And the line between ‘meal’ and ‘human friend’ might be a little thin. 

“You still smell delicious...There are some moments I’ve looked at you and wondered; What would you taste like?”  
Uta hesitated when I flinched under his gaze. This wasn't where I thought this conversation would go at all. I hadn't quite gotten over being teased - or told the brutal honest truth - that he could eat me. "But I'd miss you if I did that. Or if I let someone else take you away..."

"As for Nico….You can ignore him. He always calls people ‘pets’ or ‘darling’. He means it a bit...differently…”

“He was surprised you didn’t kill me.” I frowned, trying to root out all my concerns. I finally looked up at the male. He looked vastly uncomfortable and I almost felt bad for giving him the 3rd degree. “Everyone is surprised actually. With my past as the ward leader being so bloody and I don’t have very many human friends. The ghouls at Anteiku even spoke to me about bringing you there at first. This isn’t...typical. I enjoy getting human customers, my pulse races and I get excited. It’s enjoyable….but they never get closer than that." He exhaled and raised a hand to feel his pulse.

"I can not blame my friends for being surprised. I’m surprised...” I took a few hesitant steps towards the couch and then finally sat myself down. “In any other case I’d have killed you as soon as you figured out what I was. But I enjoyed your visits and I kept letting you leave even after I thought you might suspect. When I took you out on that building I told you; I want you to stay close…” He exhaled and leaned back, staring up at his ceiling. “But...I may still scare you off...”

I took the moment to look over the man; leaned back, throat exposed as he stared up at his blank ceiling. While I worried about whether he thought of us as friends - his worry was that I would leave.

“Something other than eating people, killing my muggers getting chased by CCG officers through the streets?”  
“Something else...” He agreed, his eyes still fixed on the ceiling. I didn’t have a clue what could be ‘worse’ than the rest. He seemed concerned that whatever it was could actually scare me off. Which was absurd to me; All the other things I'd mentioned already happened and here I still was.

“Are you going to tell me at some point…?” I questioned.  
“Yeah…” Uta said. “But not yet.”

“My turn: Ai-chan...do you think ghouls are monsters?”  
“...no.” I answered right away. That was an easy one.  
“Evil?”  
“No. Not anymore than anybody else. How could I think they were after meeting people like Touka, Yoshimura and the others...”  
"Are you afraid of ghouls?"  
"...You've asked that before. I told you I was a little. I'm actually a little less afraid now. I suppose after meeting you that changed a bit. If I hadn't met you like I had...I probably would still be. There are ghouls that still scare me though..."  
“Are you afraid of me?”  
“...no. You make me nervous sometimes. But not afraid. I’m still getting used to some of your quirks. But most of the time I completely forget that you’re a ghoul. I forget that the people at Anteiku are ghouls too. They’re just people. Recently though they’ve been keeping me a bit in the dark and that’s making me a bit on edge…”

“Hum?” Uta dropped his eyes down from the ceiling and shot me a curious look. “What was it you wanted to know?” This past week I hadn’t seen much of Uta at all. It hadn’t even occurred to me that he might be more willing to talk with me about the things the other ghouls were keeping from me! I'd spent so much energy pestering the people at work when I could have just come over and bothered my goth friend! Excited, I sat up and started speaking rather quickly. “Well! Recently they’ve been talking about a group of ghouls who are getting ready to maybe attack other wards...and then with all the doves around…”  
“Aogiri tree.” Uta said, filling in the information I had been missing. I shot him a blank look. “Eh?”  
“The ghoul group is called “Aogiri tree". They’ve been causing some issues in other wards. Attacking the CCG and drawing attention to themselves for years…But recently they've been more active. Itori and Nico have looked into them a little bit.”

“Oh! Well they've been trying to keep me in the dark for the most part but Yoshimura has been having someone walk me home everyday because I guess it’s dangerous. But that is not making me feel safer. It just makes me more concerned...they’re my friends you know? I like the people I work with! I want to know what’s up with them. If something is bothering a friend I don’t want to be kept out of the loop. I know I'm 'just a human' and Touka says it's none of my business but I want to be included.”

Uta chuckled softly. “Really? You’d rather know? Even if it’s horrible?”

“Yes!” I said emphatically. My eyes turned to look at the ghoul in the eye. He may keep his secret to himself for now. I could respect that. But when he did want to tell me then at least he’d know I was here to listen. I wasn’t going anywhere!

“What about after you learned about Tsukiyama and the Ghoul Restaurant. Don’t you think that’s horrible? It’s a black market human trafficking ring. They kill and torture humans for fun...”

“It’s...not nice.” I said in a dull tone; eyes dropping to the ground. It wasn’t nice at all. If asked before I’d probably have preferred to not know about that in particular. However now I did know. As I learned more about the world the darker and more gloomy it appeared. “It's certainly not my favorite thing. But I still don’t hate him for it. I don’t even hate him for thinking of me as a pet. It just hurts...because I cared-- No. I still care about him.”

“Even after today?”

“Of course. I thought of him as a friend. I don’t just stop caring about someone because they didn't care as much as I thought. Or because he does something I don’t like. I can’t just dismiss all the fun we had. He never did anything to hurt me. I mean, I don’t blame you for being chased down by Ghoul investigators...and that was horrible and I'd prefer if that hadn't happened.” A tremor shook up my spine as I remembered that encounter. 

“Sorry. That...outing didn’t go quite like I’d planned. I was going to take you someplace else after…” Uta muttered; clearly disappointed by the turn of events. "They kind of ruined it."  
“It’s not your fault. It was just shit luck to end up landing right next to them. The view off the building was really nice though. Maybe we can do that again and not repeat the second part. Because...I really don’t enjoy being hunted down with a tentacle sword.” He laughed again as our tense conversation led back into one that was more relaxed. Normal for us.

“Quinque. I told you about them.”  
“Yeah...those are the weapons the CCG make out of ghouls...right?” As funny as my name for it had been it was painful to remember that it had once been a kagune attached to a ghoul. Just like Uta.  
“Yeah. That's them.”  
“So...a Kagune. I never really asked. Those are like…”

“Tentacles?” He smirked, raising a thin eyebrow at me. I puffed out my cheeks indignantly. “Poking fun at me again I see. What I meant was; All ghouls have that sort of thing?” Looking him over you’d never have guessed. Ghoul looked human; But I also didn’t know how ghoul anatomy really worked.

“Yup. They’re not all ‘tentacles” though. That Dove had a bikaku type weapon.”  
Clearly this meant nothing to me. A lot of the things Uta told me weren't known to the public. Only the CCG and ghoul’s themselves would know things like this. Seeing the dead-ass stare of incomprehension on my face Uta continued; “There’s different types of Kagune. It’s at least partly genetic. It depends on where the organ is in a ghouls body. Ukaku; around the shoulders. Koukaku; behind the shoulder blades. Rinkaku; the waist. And Bikaku are around the tailbone. Those ones often look like tails like you saw. Or...a tentacle. But every kagune varies from ghoul to ghoul.”

I leaned forward in my seat towards the ghoul and stared at my friend with a fevered interest. “So...how is that…” I struggled to find a good way to say it. “How is something like that in your body…” That ‘sword’ had been at least twenty feet in length. There was no way with his structure that it was simply bunched up inside like a slinky or something. “You don’t...mind explaining this to me. Do you?”

His shoulders rose and fell; a shrug. “I don’t mind. RC cells in our kakuhou burst out through the skin and form the Kagune which is like a liquid muscle. The whole thing isn’t stored inside.” He chuckled, seeing my confusion give way to understanding.  
“That makes a lot more sense than what I was trying to imagine…”

The next ‘obvious’ question was on the tip of my tongue. I wanted to know more about Uta, not just theoretical ghouls biology. What sort of Kagune did he have? What did it look like? Was it like that one I'd seen the other night?

“...would it be terribly rude of me to ask about yours?” I asked, trying to be more polite about it than just blasting the ghoul with a million questions that were all possibly very invasive. It was a struggle...

“Mine?” He studied me then seemed to contemplate it. I thought that I’d overstepped some code of conduct for ghouls and was about to apologize; but instead he simply gave me a condition. "If I tell you then you'll keep it to yourself?" At first I didn't totally understand why it would be a secret, even between other ghouls. However if knowing the type of kagune told you where it was in the body I suppose that would give someone a leg up in a fight. Only after I nodded my head in agreement did he lean forward and touch a spot on his lower back; near his waist. “Mine's here."  
“A Rinkaku?” I said, parroting the information he’d given me a minute ago.  
“Yeah.”

“...can I see it?”  
The ghoul looked at me with open surprise and I stared back; mortified at the words that slipped out of my mouth. “S-sorry...that was so rude! I shouldn’t have asked!" I pulled my feet up onto the couch and tucked my beet red face down to my knees to hide. I sat, muttering into my joints. "I just want to see without one without it trying to kill me…” I was unable to look up and meet his eyes as he started to laugh like it was the funniest joke he’d heard in years. 

“I think Bjorn may not like me doing that unfortunately.” He said, still chuckling. “Maybe some other time.” I peeked up to look at my dog. Bjorn was staring at us as he always did when we were in a room together. “Oh...yeah that might freak him out.”

♥  
Uta got up and got me some blankets for the couch. When he came back with them they were tossed gently over my head and I had to fight my way out from under them. Just as promised it was mine for the night. The goth nodded at the bathroom when I poked my head out from under covers. “I saved the toothbrush I gave you last time for you. It’s in the cabinet above the sink in there. If you’d like…” He kept my toothbrush here in case I visited overnight again? I wanted to be able to say that was silly but I was almost out of fingers on the one hand to count the amount of times I’d accidentally fallen asleep here. Maybe keeping one here wasn’t a terrible idea.

“Thanks. I end up sleeping here more than I thought I would. Uta-kun....Do you want to watch a movie?”I said, experimentally putting ‘kun’ on his name. His lips twitched and he reached to move my legs out of the way to sit. I scrunched my body up out of the way to let him take the other side of the couch again.  
“Not sleepy?” Picking up a remote he started to flick through tv options.  
“Not yet...too much on my mind.”  
“Care to share?”

I shook my head as a definite no; but I was smiling all the same. “Just some stuff I need to think on my own…”  
“About our conversation?”  
“No. Well kind of...but no.” I could feel the butterflies squirm around in my stomach again and I wasn’t quite sure what to do about it. Or if I should do anything at all…

What he picked out was a horror movie. I didn’t mind too much but I was extremely prone to jump at all the jump-scares. The ghoul laughed at me each time until I lightly shoved his arm. “Quit it…”  
“A good scare if good for you Ai-chan. Gets your blood pumping! Don’t you like getting your pulse up a little bit?”  
“You do that to me enough as it is!”

I snuggled myself under the blankets Uta provided me with and tried to get comfortable again during a quiet time in the movie. During the movie I’d glanced over towards the ghoul. Looking over to Uta I could see he was relaxed, manspreading and arms looped over the back of the couch to stretch out as much as possible. His red eyes were fixed on the flatscreen. Uta had no reservations about getting very close and personal to me...What harm would it be if I…?  
I turned my body around and scooted closer while my mind sang: ‘You’re being a stupiiiid bitch!!! This will never work! ♫’  
Still, I got close enough to very slowly lean my head gently on his shoulder. I stayed very still, tense and a little uncomfortable in this position for a few minutes. And….  
He didn’t react. Nothing. Nada. Nothing whatsoever. I argued with myself internally that this wasn’t the worst reaction. He could have asked me to move. But this felt like an exercise in futility and it had actually been a total waste of time and energy. Afterall, I’d just been worried he thought of me as a pet and now I was trying to get closer? Was this even allowed? I finally sat up; pulling away...only to have an arm drop down from the couch behind me and encircle my shoulder; holding me closer and blocking my ‘escape’.

When I looked up at Uta’s face I could see his eyes had turned from the screen to look at me from the corner of his eyes. “Cold?”  
I was completely bundled up in the blankets and leaning gently on his side. So no. I was not cold. In fact I was completely burning up at this point! “N-no. Just trying to get comfortable…”  
His eyes turned back to the screen but his arm didn’t move off my shoulders or let me retreat back to 'my' side of the couch. I laid my head back down and leaned very gently on his side. As minutes passed I let my muscles relax little by little and started paying more attention to the movie again. The butterflies kept messing up my stomach but for now I wasn't minding too terribly...

I don’t know how the movie ended. For all I knew all the humans had died to the ghosts or whatever had been in the house because three quarters of the way through I started to drift off to sleep. The last thing I remembered before drifting off was that I’d completely forgotten to give him the gift.  
Tomorrow I’d give it to him..definitely tomorrow.


	20. Chapter 20: Ink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aika gives her gift to Uta!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long! I've had work and I've been very sleepy so I accidentally slept most of my day off away.   
> I didn't have as much time to go over and polish this - I hope it's acceptable!  
> QnQ

Chapter: 20

I was very snug and warm when I started to float towards consciousness. Unfortunately I heard snoring. Peeking my eyes open a crack and turning my head I could see red glowing numbers on the tv cable box. 06:47 AM. For a moment I had an internal crisis thinking I had to be at work soon! But...then. I wasn't home. It was the weekend and I was at Uta's. It was way too early to be awake on a weekend. I turned my head and glared around the room I searched for Bjorn. Slowly my eyes adjusted to the dim light and I found him. I expected the massive dog to be the one who was snoring but when I spotted him he was looking straight back at me. Clearly wide awake.

Dazed from sleepiness I tried to take in my surroundings. I was laying on my back on Uta’s couch after I had stayed over for the night. My brain rifled through last night's events. The last thing I remembered was leaning up against Uta and getting subtly caught doing so before relaxing for the movie.

I froze as I realized the thing I was laying on was breathing. And warm.  
And also snoring.  
When I turned my head to look upwards with my adjusted eyesight; I could see Uta. More accurately I could see most of his chest, throat and chin from my angle. He was still stretched out with his head leaned back, mouth open and eyes closed. And snoring! I took stock of my position and realized I must have fallen asleep leaning on him, slipped and eventually wiggled my sleeping self into this position where now my head was laid out across his lap! For whatever reason he hadn’t woken me up to move me so he could get to his own comfortable bed. Very slowly I tried to sit up and wiggle away without waking up the ghoul. I froze when I felt him shift every so slightly under me and mutter in his sleep.

As I little by little managed to sit up without waking him I became aware that my hair tie was undone and missing; letting my hair fall free around my head. The second issue stopping me from standing was the hand laying gently around my waist.  
I very gently, and very slowly lifted his hand and set it back down ever so carefully. Finally free; I stood up from the couch and stretched out. I held back a groan as my back popped a few times.  
I turned back around and stared at the sleeping ghoul. He was still asleep - his chest rose and fell at a steady rate and I could see his face better at this angle. Uta had never seemed so relaxed, open and vulnerable when awake.  
It was a pity I'd have to wake him up.

Bjorn stood up and wagged his way over to me and let out a quiet rumble. I shushed the dog by rubbing his large muzzle as Uta stirred in his sleep. “Shhhhh Bear-bear...quiet.” I said, barely above a whisper. I had to take the pup outside for a walk to let him relieve himself and then bring him home for breakfast - but I didn’t want to just leave Uta without telling him I was going…

I walked into the kitchenette and looked around to find a few things. Two mugs, his coffee machine and the coffee grounds that he kept. If I had to wake him up...then at least it could be with coffee at the ready. Bjorn walked around with me a little impatiently, but I just patted his head and cooed gently to him for him to settle. We’d go soon...  
Halfway through making the coffee I heard a groan from the other room, followed by a yawn and a question. “...Ai-chan?” I turned my head around hearing the slight tone of worry in the ghoul’s voice.

“In here.” I poked my head out of the kitchen to give the ghoul a reassuring smile. “Making coffee. I thought it was the best way to wake you up. I’ve gotta take care of Bjorn…I didn’t want to just up and ‘poof’!”

Instead of getting up he let himself slid into a lounging pose out on the couch; taking up the entire space when he stretched out. “Uta-kun. You could have woken me up or just moved me so you could go to bed. I’m sure your bed is more comfortable than sitting like that was…”

“Nah...it’s fine…”  
I went back to making the coffee; which was mostly just watching it be made in the cheap pot. Bjorn stayed at my side but I noticed his particular interest in the fridge. He sniffed at it and then whined; cocking his head up at me. ‘I know buddy.’ I thought silently and simply pet him.

“Coffee’s ready.” I chirped and walked back out to the living room with drinks. Uta’s eyes were fixed upon the wrapped gift bag on his table. “That is for you...BUT...” I said sharply, stopping his hands as they twitched to pick it up. “Can you wait till I come back?--”

“---If I go now.” I set both our coffee’s on the table where they let off hot trails of steam. “Then by the time I get back the coffee will be cool enough to drink, you can have snacked on something if you need to and then I’ll give it to you? Deal?”

The ghoul's eyes lingered on the little bag for a moment but he shrugged. “Yeah, okay.” Uta heaved himself up off the couch and headed for his fridge. I smiled and patted my leg for Bjorn to follow me. I collected my flip flops from near the doorway and called out to Uta before I left. “Did you have plans today by the way?...I don’t want to interrupt them.”

“No. Not really.” Uta replied. “But Itori-chan might show up later…”  
“Mkay! Then I’ll be back in a few minutes!~”

I skipped down the stairs and out the front door of the closed shop with Bjorn in tow leaving the ghoul to whatever his morning routine might be. Thankfully it wasn’t very dark out anymore. With the sun rising in the east the sky was turning a light blue and cast a hazy but bright light across the city. I brought my dog to his usual spot, cleaned up after him and then headed back home. Bjorn got his breakfast and then flopped into his bed. After sleeping over, and falling asleep directly on the ghoul; I decided a shower and another swap in clothes would be a good idea. Even if it was futile to keep the ghouls scent off me entirely I wasn’t exactly keen on walking around smelling like I’d been doused with it.

I took a speedy shower and practically leapt into a new set of clothes while my hair still dripped water. My clothes consisted of some loose capri pants and another tank top; this one with a favorite band logo printed across the chest. Try as I might I couldn’t locate another hair tie since mine had gone missing. I rustled the towel vigorously over my locks until they were dry for the most part. The rest would have to air dry. Jumping into my flip flops I tried to call Bjorn to come with me but he hunkered down in his bed and didn’t seem too inclined to move. 

“Alright? Are you staying here? How about…” I popped open my tiny freezer and pulled out a frozen peanut butter toy/treat holder. “This!” I grinned as the dog in his excitement thumped his paws on the ground and tucked his head close to the ground like he was going to bound up at me; but he still refused to move. Tossing it to him; he caught it and started to gnaw on it right away. His tail pounded the ground.

“Alright then. Be a good boy!~ I’ll be back to check on you!”

I ran back towards Uta’s; tripping and almost landing on my face once or twice because of my flip flops. I entered the shop, closed the door behind me again and sprinted back up to the apartment. “Uta, I’m back!”

I poked my head around the final door that led into his living quarters. Uta sat on his couch with a plate of a couple eyeballs and unidentifiable meat strips in his lap. “...er...should I go back down stairs?”  
The ghoul looked down at his plate and then back at me. “...does this bother you?”

I took a step into the apartment, parting with my shoes again at the door. Looking at the meat I was reminded of what Yoshimura had brought Hinami. Meat that looked indistinguishable from any other red meat. “Honestly? Not really? I suppose it’s because it’s not people shaped...”  
The male looked down at his ‘food’ and seemed to study it before popping a whole strip into his mouth and munching on it. “When it’s like that it doesn't look much different from beef, veal or pork actually…”

I sat myself down next to him while he continued to chow down and grabbed the coffee I’d left behind to take a sip. I grimaced at the flavor and swallowed. “Ech. Shoot...I could have grabbed sugar at home…” I muttered. I actually considered going back to grab some. “You could bring some over to keep here if you wanted. I don’t keep anything else in the cupboards but coffee.”

I jerked up my head from staring at the bitter coffee in my hands. “Really? You wouldn’t mind?”   
He had already stuffed another chunk of meat into his mouth but he shook his head “I’ll try to remember too at some point.”  
I waited to give him the gift until he placed the plate on the coffee table. He was finished, minus the eyes which he kept to munch on slower. I picked up the little bag and held it out to him. “...I figured you might enjoy this? Maybe...”

I started to fidget the moment he took the bag from me. He took a moment to smell it. The look that crossed his face grew even more confused and curious. Digging down into the bag he pulled up the item’s box which was decorated in beautiful swirls and pictures. “This is…?”  
“Henna ink.”I said, dropping my gaze to my lap as I squirmed nervously. Would he like it!? “Some of your own tattoo designs reminded me of the style. I figured...w-well you always look really happy when you talked about tattoos. You could either use this to test out a design before you make them permanent on your own skin. Or...I could let you try out designs on me….I-if you wanted. I might not want tattoos all over my body permanently yet. But I thought this might be fun! It’s not permanent but it stays for up to a couple weeks.”

I hazarded a glanced back up at the ghoul and my breath caught in my throat as I was greeted by a pair of ghoul eyes not too far from my own. “You’ll let me ink anything on you, with this?”

I leaned back in my seat and blushed as the ghoul got so close to my face. “Y-yeah? It’s not permanent. So I don’t mind whatever you want to try…” I smiled and relaxed a bit as he pulled back from my face and began to look over the instructions for the ink. From what I could tell this was a success! He liked it!  
“Ai-chan, you don’t mind where it is since it’s not permanent?” He said, flipping the box around and reading how to prepare the ink.

“Well...I mean. I think maybe Yoshimura might appreciate it if you didn’t put anything on my face.” I laughed nervously. “But otherwise...sure? I don’t see why not.” The ghoul looked up from the box and started to plot which spot on my blank skin to put the first marks. “You don’t have to right now though…” I almost instantly regretted saying so as my friend's small smile dropped a fraction. “No. I suppose not…”

"I didn't mean you couldn't!” I said quickly; hoping to stop the smile from fleeing any further from the ghoul’s face. “I don’t mind! I just meant if you didn’t know what you wanted to try or you wanted to wait for later in the day. I can't believe I woke up at nearly seven in the morning on a weekend. I might pass out while you're drawing them on!” I chuckled softly and sighed.

Uta cocked his head to the side; I was relieved to see his smile creep back where it belonged. “If you don't mind, we'll try it now.”  
I could already see the wheels begin to turn behind his eyes as he plotted what to do with his new ‘canvas’. “Ai-chan. This isn't permanent. So you won't mind how big the 'tattoo' is?”  
I opened my mouth to tell him no, I didn’t mind: but -- I had to wonder just how much he was planning. “How much are you thinking?”

“Your hands start with.” Uta reached out and took one of my hands and began running his thumb over the back of the knuckles. “…and we’ll see how long you can sit still. It’ll be good practice for the real thing. Without the pain. Let me get a stool and supplies.”

Letting go of my hand he stood up, set the box of ink I’d gotten him down on the table and left the room. I waited around for him to come back. From where I sat I could hear the ghoul rustling in another room, or maybe a closet. Start with my hands he’d said. Maybe by the end of the day I’d have some temporary sleeves to match. I stared at my blank skin with a slight smile. I’d never been brave enough to go and get a tattoo, definitely not something as extensive as Uta’s. But maybe this would be a good way to see if I’d like it on myself…

When I heard a crash inside the apartment I bolted upright and onto my feet immediately. “Uta? You okay?!” I yelled with concern lacing every word. “Fine. I’m fine.” Came a calm reply immediately, followed by a sigh. I hurried myself out of the room and towards where I’d heard the noise. “Do you need help?” I saw the issue and sighed gently as I looked over the scene. “I know you’re strong Uta. BUT. You still only have two arms…”

Glass littered the floor from something that had crashed to the ground and shattered into thousands of pieces. As did a large wooden stool, paper towels, a bath towel, a sketchpad and several different kinds of pencils. Avoiding glass, I leaned down and picked up a wooden stool that was upside down on the ground and started to carry it out to the living room. “I’ll grab the broom from down stairs and be back. Grab the rest of your supplies and get it ready while I clean - okay?”

Not giving him a chance to reply I dashed down to the shop, grabbed the cleaning broom and dust pan and dashed back up to start to try to clean up the exploded glass bowl. The ghoul had collected his supplies into the living room while I started to brush up the mess. He pulled the coffee table across the floor with ease to make space. Then sat the low stool in front of my seat. A wet washcloth was laid aside just in case of mistakes and a dry bath towel was set to keep ink off things he didn't want stained.

I made sure that I got corner to corner of the hallway and swept up every shard of glass into a little pile before brushing it into the dust pan. I learned something though - this ghoul needed to vacuum or sweep his apartment at some point! Glass shards was far from the only thing that I swept up!

“...I could have gotten that later.” Uta said, looking up from his work preparing the henna ink.

“Yeah, but I’m happy to help. Anyway, it’s not you who’ll get cut up by glass if you step on it; That’s me!~” I joked with a grin. Cutting myself and waltzing around Uta’s apartment wasn’t a great idea; friends with him or not! “ I’d have forgotten about it and walked on it. Now it’s cleaned up for sure!”

I looked over his neat little setup for the inking. He’d taken a seat on the low stool so that he’d be at a good level to paint the henna onto my hands and arms. The ghoul was ready. Patting the couch with a hand and looking at me expectantly to get me to sit back down. I shrugged off my hoodie to give him access to my arms and took a seat in my spot. “How do you want me to sit?” 

“You can sit up and lay your hands on your knees. Or lay down and keep the one arm at your side.” I thought about my options and considered how long he might end up working on this. However, sitting up would let him choose either arm to put them on without making me move around. I laid the dry towel across my lap and set my hands out across my thighs; “This fine?”

“Perfect.” He answered, though he kept peering at me. “...one more thing…” He pulled out a familiar cloth strip and held it in front of my face. “A blindfold?” I pouted as he shot me a teasing smile. "You're not going to let me watch you work on it?"

"It'll be more fun if the first time you see it it's complete."   
"Fiiiiiiine!" I said exaggeratedly as the ghoul wrapped the blindfold around my head. I felt as the first lines of thick henna dye were applied across my fingers and knuckles. I listened curiously as he worked, every once in a while he'd pause in his work, shuffle around for something and then continued. Without my sight I wasn't able to tell what he had done so far; just that it was covering a fair bit of skin real estate. I wasn’t surprised at all as he finished the designs on my knuckles and back of my hands and started to work on expanding up my arm. If he kept on going it was likely for it to turn into a full sleeve!

The first real issue reared its head halfway up my arm. I tensed up suddenly as a shutter and giggled and tried to wiggle it’s way out of me. The ghoul paused. "What's wrong?"  
"N-nothing!” I squeaked but stayed tensed as I waited for him to continue. When he didn’t go back to his work right away I muttered. “Uta...I’m fine.It’s just...I'm just a little ticklish"

“Hum?” I felt a finger trail along my arm near where he’d been inking and bit my lip. “Here?”

“Yeah. I’ll sit still though…” After he ran a finger over the spot again --- I felt like twitching to slap his hands away, but I was mindful of the ink that was dying my skin and held still. “Unless you keep doing that on purpose! In which case I might decide I’d have more fun choking you!”

The male chuckled. “Fine. Fine. I’ll go over that area as fast as I can.”

♥

I don’t have any idea how long we stayed there as he filled in details and worked his way up my arm. Several hours at least, but it was peaceful. At some point he turned on some music and would ask me once in a while if I had a song request. Every other song was chosen by one of us. I found that our taste in our ‘favorite’ music differed slightly; but I still liked most of the music he picked out and he pointed out a few of the ones I chose as being good.

“Uta...there’s someone downstairs.” I told him, wondering if he hadn’t heard them enter. After hours without my eyes I could hear pretty well. “Hum?” He lifted the ink from my arm and paused to listen. "Oh. That's Itori." Sure enough after a minute I heard heels clicking up the stairs and her voice carrying into the apartment. “U-KUN! I let myself in an---oh!” Her voice caught off when I assumed she spotted myself on Uta's couch with him hunched over my arms covered in ink.

“What do we have here! What’s that smell?” I felt weight press down into the couch next to me and someone lean close to look. “Oh. Those look beautiful! But what is that?”

“Henna!” I smiled happily, despite feeling a little uncomfortable with Itori being so close and myself so blind. “It’s some natural dye, so it ends up smelling really earthy. But it leaves a mark for several weeks.”  
“Ai-chan got it for me to play around with some tattoo ideas. It’s really relaxing…” I heard Uta say softly, lowering the tip of the henna tool to my arm and continuing his drawing.  
“Annnnd why is she blindfolded?!~”  
“To keep it a surprise.” We both said in time with each other.

There was a silent pause before she giggled. “So, you're telling me she doesn't have a clue what you're tattooing onto her?” I shook my head. “You're just letting him put whatever?”

“He’s got good taste.”  
The woman leaned closer over my ‘tattoos’ to get a good look. “Yeah. He does have that. Well I won’t spoil it, but I’ll admit they do look nice. I’m surprised you didn’t have any tattoos before. You seem like the type who would!” She giggled. “Unless they're hidden if you know what I mean!” I flushed bright red as I caught what she was insinuating and shook my head. “N-no. I don’t have any permanent ones yet. Uta was drawing out one for me though.”  
‘The Poison by Alkaline Trio’ faded out and the room got quiet as Uta finished up a few lines on me. “Next song Ai-chan?”

“Hum…how about “Your gonna go far, kid by The Offspring.”  
A few seconds later the song started to play from the speaker.

“So what was it you needed Itori? You said you broke your mask?” Uta asked his old friend.   
“Oh yeah! It got cracked with a hole! I was hoping you could do a quick fix for me! Pretty please!”

“How’d you break it?” Uta lifted the ink tool from my skin and I heard him set it aside completely this time. “Well I was out hunting. Got a knife thrown through it.” I heard something metal being tossed down on the coffee table and I guessed it was the knife in question. “It’s made of quinque steel.”  
“Lucky the mask caught it."   
“It cut my cheek…” I heard the pout in her voice.  
"I thought the masks you made were way too durable for just parties. I guess they double as armor as well." I said; chuckling. The ink on my hands had already dried quite some time ago but I could feel the upper more recent parts start to dry as well. After it was all dry it would be time to wash or pick it all off and I wouldn't have to worry about smudging.

“Well don’t count us out on parties yet! We can get into some pretty crazy parties!” Itori laughed. “ I guess maybe not for humans though Hun. Speaking of! U-kun! What trouble did you get into recently! You know I’ve got ears all over! There’s buzz around that ‘No-face’ was spotted and chased around the wards! And they saw her mask…The Doves are assuming she’s another ghoul. What were you doing in the 3rd ward?”

“Sightseeing. I thought Ai-chan would like the view.” I could hear him turning something over in his hands and slid his fingers over a smooth surface. “I should be able to fix this today. Ai-chan, do you mind being blindfolded for a bit longer?”

“Oh no! You’re not getting out of this! What on earth were you doing!? You know the Doves have been really active lately!” The female ghoul chided when Uta tried to change the subject.  
“I just bought her out on a --- sightseeing trip.”  
“Sightseeing…?” I don’t know what it was about being blind and not being able to see people’s reactions but I caught on better to the emotions that clung to words. She sounded: Disappointed and almost pouty.  
“Well now they know HER mask. They think she’s just some new ghoul and now it’s all logged!” 

“No-Face?” I asked finally to break my silence after I spent quite some time listening quietly. “That’s me…” Uta said gently. “They come up with names for ghouls. Since they don’t know our real ones.”

“-Not for every single one of us! Sometimes it’s just a number.” Itori added. “But U-Kun here is known pretty well with the Doves.”

“Ai-chan. I know I told you to carry it with you everywhere. But make sure nobody sees your mask in public. Except for the people at Anteiku and us nobody should know it’s you behind the mask…keep it hidden unless you need it.” After hearing the grave tone in his voice I nodded obediently. “Yeah. Sure. I think only some of the people at Anteiku, You, Itori and Renji know what it looks like at this point anyway...”

“Yeah. Except the whole CCG now…”

♥

I sat and waited patiently for Uta to fix up Itori’s mask. I hadn't been very happy when I heard that the CCG had my mask now logged as a ghoul. In fact I was a bit worried about it. Regardless, the man had left me upstairs in the apartment still blindfolded while he worked on the project downstairs with his tools. Itori opted to sit by me and tried to pry information on what happened when Uta brought me out. I didn’t divulge much; just that he climbed up a tall building to show me the scene from the top. It had been kinda scary and thrilling up there and very pretty and after we had been chased. I omitted out the part where I sat practically in his lap while he tucked his face into the krook of my neck and breathed in my scent.

“Come on! That can’t be the entire date! That was it?”  
“I-it wasn’t a date!” I blurted awkwardly which made the red head laugh at my side. “What? Of course it was!” The woman laughed at me as I nervously shifted in my seat. Had I missed something where he said it had been a date? I was quite sure that he’d only said he wanted to surprise me.  
“...and now you smell like---” Itori stopped suddenly and turned. “Oh, U-kun! Done already?”

“All done. Be careful with it. It’s still drying.” Uta said from the doorway; making me jump slightly in my seat and my face to glow red. How much had he overheard? “That was fast! I barely got to talk with Ai-chan!” The weight on the couch next to me lifted as the woman jumped out of her seat.  
“I refilled the hole and cracks and repainted it. It will take twenty-four hours to set, so don’t get into any trouble until then.”

“Thanks U-kun! Will I see you at the bar later?”  
“No, not tonight.”  
“....oh. Alright then.” Disappointment. “Bye Ai-chan!”

“Bye!” I waved in the direction I heard Itori and smiled until I heard her retreat down the stairs.  
“Uta, don’t you go every Saturday or something?” I tilted my head curiously. 

“Sometimes." The male took a seat back down on the stool. “But I have you here with me today. Now for the other hand.” Other hand? Knowing how long it took him to do the one I was uneasy about sitting here for that much longer with a blindfold. “Uta can we maybe take a break…? I’m getting hungry.”

“I don’t want you to see until they are complete... But….stay here.” I cracked a smile thinking there weren't many places I could go without my sight anyway. He left my side once again for just a minute and then returned quickly. A warm, wet cloth was pressed against my skin and he gently stripped the dry residue off my skin. “There. Now…” He held my hand and began to wrap a cloth between and around my fingers all the way to my wrist. “Covered. And here’s your hoodie.” The ghoul helped me wiggle my arms back through my hoodie before he finally untied the fabric around my eyes. I squinted as even dim light felt bright after being blind for so long. Slowly my eyes readjusted and I looked down at my hand. I saw he had wrapped a bandage around the entire thing leaving only the tips of my fingers bare.

I looked like I’d been seriously hurt or maybe was hiding some terrible scars. But I supposed that was fine if it made the ghoul happy. “That’s one way to do it.” I muttered seeing that he had in fact totally hidden all the days work.

“No peeking.”

“I wouldn’t dare!” I grinned and held up my hands and surrendered at the serious look he was giving me. Being blind folded wasn’t all that terrible, but I was pretty happy to have my eyesight back once again. Pity he wouldn’t let me watch him while he did them.

♥

“And those are?”

“W’fflff!” I mumbled through a mouthful of waffles and syrup. I'd insisted we go out to get something to eat but ordered to go so the ghoul wouldn't feel inclined to attempt to eat food that would make him sick again. Since he was with me he still ordered a muffin again to appear more ordinary - but once we were back at his place he slid it in front of me. 

"You'll have to try again Ai-chan: without the food in your mouth."   
I gulped my mouthful down and stuck out my tongue. "Waffles! They're a bit like pancakes but pressed into this shape." I eagerly stuffed another bite into my face while Uta was getting ready for round two of the inking.

When it came time to start again he had the blindfold back out and around my eyes in no time. I was pleased to see that the ghoul seemed to enjoy doing this and regretted having to have the blindfold on. Seeing him smile as he worked would have been nice…

"Uta, do you just do masks for your shop or do you also pierce and tattoo as well?"  
"Just masks." He answered gently as he began to apply new henna on my other arm. "Why?"  
"Oh, no reason. You just seem to enjoy doing them quite a bit. How did you go from being the leader of a war to deciding to open a mask shop?" I felt his hands pause briefly when I asked my question. “I was a teenager when I took on the job of ‘pacemaker’. After a while I grew tired of it and decided to follow more artistic cravings. The masks made sense to me...”

“I can’t imagine you being very violent. You always seem so quiet and reserved when your working on a mask or a piece of art.”

“I can be. Itori would tell you we both calmed down since we were kids. Renji and I.” Uta chuckled softly and added with a smirk I could hear in his tone. “I can’t imagine you hunting or fencing either. That would suggest you had some rudimentary ability to fight. I can’t imagine that; Definitely not as you stuff waffles into your mouth like each one is the very last one on the planet.”

I choked and sputtered. “I do not do that!”  
“You do!~” He shot back; teasing me as he painted on my skin.  
“You sure like to tease me!”

“You’re fun to tease.”

♥

“And done.”

I had been zoned out and began to feel my head nodding off to sleep when the ghouls voice cut through to me and snapped me out of it. “Huh?”

“All done Ai-chan. Just let it dry a little bit and then I can show you the final product.” Uta stood, collected things off the table and dropped them next to the sink for cleaning. I yawned and stretched while being mindful of the arm with wet dye still on the skin. “How late is it? I feel like we’ve been sitting here for an age…”

“It’s only four in the afternoon.”

“Only you say. After working on this for over…” I paused to try to count the hours, skipping an hour or so for our trip out for food and Itori’s visit. “6 or 7 hours.”

“I could continue?” I balked and heard the ghoul react with laughter shortly following my expression. “As relaxing as that was; I think I’ve had enough peace and quiet for the day honestly!”

Another warm wet cloth was swiped down my other arm to free it from the residue and leave it smooth but marked. “That looks quite interesting.” The ghoul remarked while I still couldn’t see it yet. I could have whined but he was already reached to free my eyes of the blindfold. “You’ll have to tell me where you found it so I can get more for later.”

Blinked a few times to adjust my eyesight once again and then peered down at my hands and arms. I was speechless as I started at the intricate swirls and patterns. It was not dissimilar to his own real tattoos. They both stopped around my bicep just as his own did, however they leaned more towards the flowery and feminine nature. Plus, being henna they were a reddish brown hue rather than straight black.

A lotus flower was laid out on each of my hands. Intermingled in the complex lines I spotted things I’d told him about myself. A bow drawn with an arrow knocked. A skull of a deer with its antlers mixing in with the rest of the ‘tattoo’ I spotted the same spider he’d put in my mask's antlers hidden in my new art. 

“Aika?” Uta said, probably for the second or third time. “...I don’t know what to say. These are beautiful. I think my heart stopped for a moment.I’m already a little sad they’ll fade away in a few weeks...”

Uta’s face never didn’t hold a large smile that flashed his teeth as one would normally expect with someone who was very happy. But I could see the way his smile reached his eyes instead. It didn’t matter they were always a shade of void black and crimson.


	21. Chapter 21: Shattered Glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh no. Bad things. 8D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh. Look at that! We broke 100k words! Cool! I've never done that before!

Chapter 21:

I did spend most of the rest of the afternoon with Uta but when the sun went down I insisted I went home AND that he went out to see his friends. By himself this time without me in tow. It took some convincing. After talking with him about it he finally agreed he’d go and hang out. Even though he said he didn’t feel like getting drunk. 

“I know you said ‘sometimes’ when I asked if you always hung out with them on Saturday. You DO visit them every weekend, don’t you? You really shouldn’t flake out on your other friends just because I’m here! Itori seemed really disappointed. So go have fun! I’ll be here when you get back!”

So when I left for home my ghoul friend turned the opposite way and headed towards the 14th ward. When I closed my apartment door, locked it and slid the dresser in front where it ‘belonged’ I pet Bjorn’s head smiling happily. I thought of the day's events. It had been a quiet and peaceful day that I could fully appreciate. Before I'd met all these ghouls I'd never have guessed I could have one of those again. The dog sniffed excitedly at my arms and my clothes. “They're so pretty…” And if I was honest about the henna tattoos they looked pretty damn badass regardless of how they were much more feminine than Uta’s. I could spend hours looking at them to memorize the lines. Considering that they were going to fade away in a few weeks he had put quite a bit of effort into them...

After being up for most of the night I resigned to getting Bjorn around for bed, giving him a thorough brush out and then spending time on my phone. I snapped a picture of Bjorn when he flopped on his back and flailed his legs in the air and sent it to Uta while he was away. I could see that the message was read then the ghoul replied quickly with a laughing emoji. 😂

A while later as I was almost drifting off I got another text from the ghoul. I struggled with my phone to open the messages and type.

Uta: Also. Renji smells like a cat.  
Aika: 😂 Cat? Does he have cats?  
Uta: No. 🤔  
Aika: Weird. Maybe he found a stray? 🕵️  
Uta: He won't say.  
Aika: Really? Have Itori ask him. She seems like she’s good at getting things out of people. 😂🕵️

I chuckled softly as he pondered about Renji and this apparent cat issue. I got a couple pictures of the bar. The first one where nobody noticed Uta was taking a picture, followed by Renji grimacing and Itori straight up posing for it. The last it looked like Itori was trying her damnedest to get the silver haired fellow to pose with her.

Aika: Hahah! Make sure you don't have a fight on your hands there! Have fun! Get home safe! I’m going to sleep.😴

♥

I woke much later in the afternoon the next day. Also, I was in my own apartment; not Uta's. And definitely not lounged out across Uta's lap. Bjorn decided that I'd had enough sleep and thought it was appropriate to slobber all over my face until; kicking and flailing I was up and out of bed. "Gross. Ech! Dude!!!" I pouted at my dog while I wiped away slobber onto my sleeves. Bjorn for his part looked extremely happy with himself and decided to parade around the room with a gleeful pep in his step. “Alright, don’t you look at me like that. I will get around. I’ll get around!”  
I picked up my phone from the floor where it had fallen overnight and looked at the time. 2pm. Much later than normal. In addition I had a few text messages. I flipped through them quickly. A couple were junk from when I’d been applying for jobs - but from Uta I had a few new messages.

Uta: Okay, goodnight.  
Uta: home now.

Those had both been last night, or very early this morning in the case of the time he got home. But the following text messages were from later today starting around Noon.

Uta: Are you going to visit today?

The most recent message had been sent about 10 minutes ago; two hours after the first. I stared at it with no small amount of confusion. He’d made a complete 180 from text to text.

Uta: Don’t come over. Busy with something.

One second he was asking if I would be visiting; the next he was telling me clearly that I should not try to visit. I took a deep breath, shot Uta a short reply to let him know I slept in and agreed I wouldn’t visit. I set the phone down and started to get dressed into something comfy since it looked like I might spend most of my day inside.

I was doubly sure that was the case as I took Bjorn outside and the sun burned into my eyes. Flinching, I held my head in my hands and groaned as the beginnings of a headache began to rear its ugly head. Powering through it I took Bjorn on a long walk around the ward and then headed back home when he seemed content with the exercise for the day.  
By the time I got home though, the minor throbbing of a headache had turned into a pounding menace. I grabbed a few Tylenol, ate a late brunch and then laid myself down on my couch with a pillow laid over my head.

Bjorn tried to wiggle his head under it with me and whined. Giggling softly, I lifted it up and pet his face. “I’m fine buddy. Just a headache. I’ll sleep it off.”

♥

I woke up on and off throughout the day; getting up to care for Bjorn and myself. After some more meds and then a hot bowl of soup and tea I started to feel a little better thankfully. I didn’t want to call out from work tomorrow ---

Uta: How are the tattoos holding up?  
Aika: They actually darkened a little more after a day. They are really cool! I really love them. You can use me like a canvas any time you want!  
Uta: ;) I’ll remember that.  
Uta: Visiting tomorrow?  
Aika: Maybe after work. Mind if I ask why I couldn’t today? Did ya go out with your friends all day, or just hung over from last night? XD  
There was a long and worrying pause between text messages. I shrugged it off and started flipping through videos before a new one popped up.

Uta: I was busy cleaning up something.  
Aika: Oh, okay? I probably could have helped you know!  
Uta: Not something you could help with.  
Aika: Oh. Okay. :(

We continued texting for a little while as he sent me pictures of a few masks and sketches of masks he'd worked on earlier in the day. But eventually we stopped messaging, said goodnight and I laid back in bed and relaxed. As much as I’d be totally embarrassed to admit it; Uta has become an important person in my life in a very short time span. Even when we were away from each other. When I had been at work for the week it was nice to hear from him at least once a day by text. At the very least that way I knew he wasn’t hurt again…

♥

Life called me back to work during the week. So after fixing coffee with my new brewer I headed to work; making a quick pit-stop at Uta’s front door and knocking until I heard footsteps approaching. “Ai-chan?” A head with dark hair poked out of the doorway and looked at me quizzically.

“Coffee delivery! Made it in my new brewer this morning! Thought I’d bring it to you before I left for work! Black; no cream, no sugar.” I held up a mug and grinned at the ghoul. “I’ll want that mug back though!” He let the door slide open a bit further and took the mug with a slight smile on his face. He took a deep inhale of the coffee steam and sighed. “...this smells almost as good as Anteiku’s coffee.”

“I can’t beat their blend! But it’s miles above your coffee machine!” I snickered while Uta shot me a sideways glance over the mug of hot coffee. “Anyway, I gotta run! See you later Uta-kun!~” I waved and ran to catch the subway at the station. “Thank you Ai-chan…” I heard from behind me before the door clicked shut. 

I was in a very good mood as I took a step onto the subway train. Regardless of how packed it was at this hour with everyone headed to work, nothing could ruin my mood. In fact I still had a small bounce in my step as I cheerfully walked into Antieku while I finished my morning coffee. “Oh! Ms. Aika!” I looked up and saw that Ken and Touka were working this morning. “Hey there Eyepatch. Where’s Koma and Irimi?” I was used to seeing those two behind the counter in the early mornings but today they were both completely missing.

“They’re out today. Er. Actually so is the Manager. They said they should be back later though. So you’ll be with me and Touka.” Kaneki smiled sweetly towards me and continued to sweep up the floor. Touka was behind the counter preparing the brewers and cleaning glasses until they sparkled. That was odd. Regardless I shot Touka and Ken a wide grin. “Alright, that means I guess Touka’s in charge! What’s up boss!”

“We just make sure it doesn't fall apart while the manager is away.” She sighed softly, her eyes were downcast. The way I'd seen the others' faces when they began to worry more and more. “I’ll make the coffee while you too get people’s orders. If we even have any customers…”

I wondered what she meant by that until an hour and then two passed by without hardly anybody coming in for a coffee. It was supposed to be the morning rush; yet only a few human customers and none of our usuals? Given the time without anybody to serve both Eyepatch and I had cleaned the front nearly top to bottom. “Hey, Aika...em. Can you go upstairs and clean there? If you both keep scrubbing down here the paint will come up before long…”

I let out a long sigh and nodded. “Yeah. I was starting to think the same thing actually. This is kinda crazy isn’t it?” I looked around the cafe. “Did something happen over the weekend?” I don’t know what I expected to hear. It's not like the ghouls here had been telling me much that was going on anyway; but I couldn’t help but be disappointed when the ghoul simply shook her head. “No? Okay. I’ll bring this stuff upstairs to clean. I’m sure the boss will like to have the kitchen cleaned anyway.”

I took the bucket, mop and sponge and marched up the stairs to the second kitchen. Inside this fridge I knew there was almost always a small amount of human meat and I’d leave that well enough alone. But all the other things in the room were fair game for some elbow grease and sanitation! I rolled up my sleeves and took a deep breath! I put on a pair of rubber gloves to protect my fresh ‘tattoos’ from being bleached off my skin and got ready to work! “Time to make this place sparkle!”

♥  
There was a thud from downstairs. I stopped to listen closely. After a few moments I decided to stay where I was and ignore it because I could hear Touka’s and Ken’s voices and they didn’t seem to be yelling or upset - and I had plenty to do to continue cleaning! You could not believe where you could find dirt if you went looking for it! Wiping away sweat from my brow I continued to mop the floor and scrub between the cracks!

An hour later I almost took off running out of the room to check when I heard a crash of glass from the sitting room followed by the bird, Hetare; screaming; but I hesitated. Something about this felt WRONG. So Instead of bolting out the room to find out what was up I crept closer to the kitchen door and pressed my ear against it to listen in. Maybe...just maybe Eyepatch just dropped a cup? I’d just hear Touka yelling at him like usual...

“You wanna get beaten until you barf up blood again?” Said an entirely unfamiliar voice that froze my blood. My heart stopped and I leaned down to a crouch. Suddenly found myself taking even but very shallow breaths. I could hear Touka and Ken speaking alright. Touka sounded angry and bitter while Eyepatch just seemed scared and worried! Whatever conversation they were having; it wasn’t a friendly one.

It was getting more unfriendly as the seconds ticked by until whatever the confrontation was about; it turned violent. My hand hovered over the doorknob when I heard Touka and Kaneki engage in a fight. It sounded like a beat down where my friends were on the losing end…

Helplessness was knowing there was nothing you could do in a situation you desperately wanted to be useful in. As much as I may wish I could do something; I knew that I should stay hidden because I was just a human. A weak and fragile human. If I got caught up with the wrong ghoul at the wrong time I’d be dead meat. Literally. I scrambled back quietly from the door; staying crouched and looking for a hiding spot. Okay, think. If they search the place and find this door locked they’ll wonder why. They might even be willing to bust it down. But if they come in here they may smell me.  
To them humans smell like food.  
...like. Food.  
Food…  
My eyes landed on the fridge and came up with a terrible idea; that just might work. Quietly I went to the fridge and opened it slowly. Inside there was exactly what I expected; several pounds of cut up human meat. At least I assumed it was human since the cafe didn’t serve anything with meat. And being that the employees were ghouls…

Disgusted with myself, I pulled out a slab of it and dumped it onto the freshly cleaned counter and left it there. Even I could smell the scent of blood as it pooled around the meat. With that done; I crammed myself into an empty cupboard directly below the hunk of dead flesh and pool of human blood.

Once safely tucked into the cupboard I made sure my phone was on silent and started texting for help. Right away I started to type up a text for the manager to alert him of the situation. There was an issue at the cafe. Someone broke in. Touka and Ken were currently fighting with whoever it was and it sounded bad. While typing mid-text I almost jumped out of my skin hearing a familiar voice from outside the room. Manly, but with feminine tones and inflections. 

Nico?  
What was he doing here with the people attacking the cafe!? 

I typed faster and pushed send to the manager until I heard someone, louder and much larger order that someone search the cafe for anybody else. Frozen solid I stared at the screen of my phone. I looked at Uta’s contact info and wondered if I should call or text him. Right now? There was no way he could arrive like a goth-hero this time. He would never arrive in time…  
Clenching my eyes and mouth shut tight I clicked the phone off and was plunged into absolute darkness.  
I heard someone walking down the hall. Checking room by room that nobody else was here.  
The door to the kitchen clicked open and footsteps echoed around the small room.  
I refused to breathe. My heart pounded in my chest when they stopped in front of my hiding place and I heard them sniff around. “Hum…?”

I thought I was safe when they hadn’t found me for nearly a minute but in the end I didn’t have good enough luck. I held in a scream as the door to the cupboard popped open and I was face to face with a ghoul, licking blood from his fingers.  
Bright colors must be some kind of signature for him; because once again he was wearing an outfit with bright and clashing colors. And that smiley face pin.  
“N-nico…”  
“...Oh Dear. It’s you. What to do with you?” Nico said softly and stared at me. I was curled up in a tight ball in a cupboard I could just barely fit into and cornered. His voice was thankfully barely above a whisper and he hadn’t yet called out to alert the people he was with.  
“Come on Nico, we’re going! We got the kid. Did you find anything?”  
Nico’s eyes darted behind him and he pouted. “Shhh. Stay quiet for me now dear.” He held a finger up to his mouth in a shush motion and shot me a smile. “I’ll see you later Honey!”

He was...letting me go! He closed the cupboard as my heart raced in my chest and threatened to explode right there and then. Outside I heard him stand up and walk away from my hiding place; shouting to his companions. “No dears, I’m afraid not. Just this slab of meat. Looks like they were planning a picnic! How cute!~”

I stayed deathly still as I heard the group parade out of the building. After they were gone everything fell silent as the grave. I took a long deep breath and trembled a little as I finally typed out a message to Uta. Due to my shaking hands it was barely understandable; but it would work for now.

Aika: somting hapened at wok, ttyl. Safe f/now?  
Uta: What happened?  
Aika: l8r.

As uncomfortable as my spot under the counter was I didn’t want to leave just in case someone came back. Was Touka alright? I hadn’t heard much from her since the fight broke out. They were taking the "kid". Was that Touka or Ken? Or both of them? It wasn’t too long, perhaps 30 minutes or an hour at most and I heard the downstairs door open and the bell ring as someone entered the building. It was the first movement I'd heard since the group attacking the cafe had left.

“They took Kaneki, didn’t they?” The manager’s voice! I listened closely even as I felt relief fill my body. We were safe. The manager was back! “Touka, Where is Ms. Aika?”

“I don’t know sir. I had her cleaning upstairs…”

I heard foot falls come up the stairs, enter the room and stop short. “Ms. Aika?”  
“Aika?” A second voice asked. Renji! Renji was also here! Carefully I pushed gently on the cupboard and it knocked into something; Surprising both the ghoul it hit and also myself. “Huh? Aika!” Renji backed up and let the door swing open so I could finally crawl out of the cupboard and sit on the ground. The silver haired ghoul hovered over me; leaning down and started to check me over for any injuries right away. “They didn’t find you?”  
That was debatable. Nico had definitely found me. He’d let me go. I could tell them that - but I think I’d keep that to myself until I saw Uta. I shook my head no. “No. I’m not hurt...really I’m fine.” I said, brushing off his search for injuries.

Yoshimura was eyeing the meat on the counter and let out a long sigh. “Thank goodness…”  
“You got my text?” I asked, looking up at the older ghoul.  
“Yes. We were already on our way back because we found something...I thought this may happen sooner or later. I am sorry Ms. Aika that you were here when it did.” 

Touka rounded the corner and I turned and gasped seeing her lean against the wall. She had so many cuts all over her body! “Touka!” I struggled to my feet despite the cramps in my legs protesting and limped towards her. “Touka! Are you okay?” I wasn’t sure where I could touch her or if I even should because of her injuries; but I still pulled her into a tight hug. “Thank god you’re alive! I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Touka! I’m so useless. I couldn’t do anything but hide!” I muttered tearfully into the embrace. I felt her wrap an arm around me and hug back; gently. “Aika...you're safe. Thank goodness. Why are you limping?” I let her go as tears started to pool in my eyes. “The cupboard was really cramped…”

I turned towards the manager expectantly. “You’re going to go get him right? Eyepatch? You’ll go save him!” Touka looked ready to go after them, but the manager seemed much more reserved.  
“For now, I think it would be wise for you to head home Ms. Aika. Antieku will have to close for a while…Renji would you bring her home, and gather some people? We need to have a meeting.”

I stood frozen in shock. Once again. Once again I was being pushed away! I clenched my fists at my side and ground my teeth together. “After this...you still want to keep me in the dark? Why? Did me not knowing this could happen put me in any less danger today?” If I’d known THIS could happen I’d have been on guard, maybe had a better plan set up on how to hide. But instead I’d been forced to think on the spot and narrowly died! If the person who had found me had been someone other than Nico - I’d be dead right now! “I want to know what’s going on, not just have things happen around me!”

The old man turned towards me; his eyebrows lifted in surprise. “Ms. Aika. I am sorry about this. But...in this situation I’m afraid you won’t be of much help.”

“I…just...want...” I wanted to argue, telling him I could be of some use. But what COULD I do? I might be an archer, a hunter and sufficient with a sword but...they were ghouls and I was just a human. All I HAD been able to do was hide like a coward.  
“...I’ll help clean up. Please? The shop must be a mess right now. I still need a job...so can I come in to help you guys clean up?”

“...” The old man thought about it for a moment then nodded. “Alright. However, tonight I’m afraid I need you to go home. Get some rest and stay safe. You can come back in...a couple days. Wednesday. We can try to fix this place up before next week...” I nodded pitifully and bowed my head. “I’m sorry Touka…”

I slipped by the young woman and went to grab my things, including my bag with my mask. “It’s...okay…” I heard her say weakly as I pushed past her.

Renji joined me down stairs not long after and seemed to look me over again. Making doubly sure that I wasn't hurt at all. “Are you sure you’re unhurt?” I nodded and glared at the floor. “Alright, come on then…”  
I stood up and followed the ghoul out the door silently.  
In fact I didn’t talk at all the entire way to the subway station or once we got on the train. I simply looked out the window and glared at the passing underground walls and occasional graffiti.

“...I’m normally the one that doesn't talk much.” Renji finally said. “So what’s wrong?”

“I’m fine Renji…”  
"..." When I glanced around from the window I could see that Renji was fixing me with a steady stare down. "R-really...I'm just...frustrated.”  
“About what?”  
“I couldn't do anything but HIDE like a coward!"  
"You couldn't have done anything...that group was---"  
"Aogiri Tree." I said, echoing what Uta told me. “Ghoul gang that’s been making trouble lately.”  
"You know?"  
"Uta." I said simply and Renji seemed to understand right away without me adding more.  
"...oh. I see." He fell silent again and I grimaced at the ground. Frustration making tears pool in my eyes. Finally I snarled and smacked a fist against the seat next to me.  
"He's the only one I can ask and expect actual answers. Everyone else keeps me in the dark."

“How do you know he’s told you everything…?”

“He hasn’t. I know that! Trust me. I know.” Uta had his secrets he wasn’t sharing with me. Not yet. But I wasn’t pushing too hard to get them. “But at least...at least I think if I asked him a question straight to his face, he’d answer me in one way or another. I worked for a week to find out what was bothering people at work because I worried about them. Because I CARE about them." Upset, my voice got louder as I continued speaking. "They are my friends but I couldn’t get a single thing from them! I just wanted to listen to their worries; help if I could! But I asked what’s going on to Uta once. A single time and...he told me. Just like that. I didn’t have to pester him or convince him the information wouldn’t hurt me...”

I sighed and leaned back in my seat, wiping my eyes as frustration spilled over into sadness. “Fuck…” I cursed.

“Speak to Yoshimura when you get a chance. He’s...good at listening.” Renji’s eyes were down at the ground with his feet. “For now I’ve got to get you home and see if Uta will come to the meeting…”

“I’m coming with you.”  
“Aika, Yoshimura said to bring you home.”  
“And you can. After I see Uta. I just want to tell him what happened. I sent him a text earlier saying I would. I’ll go home after. Okay?”

Renji let out a tired sigh and nodded. “...fine.”

♥

I knocked my fist against Uta’s door and waited since the shop’s sign was turned to closed and the door was locked. “Do you think he---”  
The door swung open before I could finish my question to the ghoul beside me. “Ai-chan...Renji-kun.”

“You are home. I thought you might have left when the sign was up and your shop was locked up.”

“I’m here.” Uta reached and held my shoulders gently and pulled me into the shop. Renji followed in and closed the door behind himself. The goth ghoul was moving me this way and that, and sniffing to check me over for wounds. “I’m fine Uta, seriously. Renji looked me over too. I’m perfectly unharmed.”

“Uta. Yoshimura wants you to come meet at the Cafe.” His eyes landed on me and paused briefly. “He told me to tell Uta this...but I suppose since you’re both here....” His eyes flicked back to Uta. “He wants to get some help to go get Kaneki. He was kidnapped by Aogiri Tree. It’s a rescue mission.”

I frowned, confusion written across my face. “How did you know that? He seems so reserved and cold about it when I asked…”

“He’d never abandon someone, especially someone in Anteiku like that.” Renji smiled. “We need to go now though and rescue him as soon as possible.”

“I-I’ll go home then. Go. And---”  
Arms hooked around my waist when I tried to move towards the door halting my progression. “Huh? Uta? Come’on, aren't you going?”

“Yeah. I am. Stay here though. Get Bjorn and come back here.” I blinked, looking up at the ghoul with an eyebrow raised. He wanted me to stay here, without him?  
“I--...why?”

“It’s safer. And...I’ve got a TV upstairs. You can watch the news. If you want to keep an eye out.”  
The arms around my waist relaxed and let me go. “So. Go grab Bjorn, some of your things and come back...”

Conflicted, I nodded and started to walk out the door. “I’ll...be right back then.”  
I jogged towards my house, struggled with my lock and pushed open my door to see my wonderful puppy happily greeting me. A welcome sight after so much trouble in such a short time. “Hey there...come on. Come on.” It was too early to feed him now so I grabbed his food, his bowl, and a toy of his to bring with me. Last minute I also grabbed my new brewer and some sugar to bring along for coffee. 

When I re-entered Uta’s shop he turned and smiled at my collection of stuff I’d brought over. “Em...Can I put this in the fridge? Or...is that weird?” I asked, holding up the bag of meat I fed Bjorn. “Sure. Please...don't get it mixed up though.”

“Y-yeah. N-no. That would be bad.” I didn’t want to imagine my dog eating human meat. No thank you. Nor would it be good for the ghoul to try to chow down on the mix of chicken, beef and pork.

“I’ve got you something also…” Uta turned to his desk and picked up something dark and shiny and held it out to me. “Don’t cut yourself.”  
“Cut…?” I took it gently in my hands; being very careful since he’d given me a warning. The handle was cool to the touch and jet black. It was covered in a leather and metal sheath. I clicked open the sheath’s latch that held in the weapon and pulled out a knife. “A knife?”

“Is that the knife from the other night?” Renji asked Uta.

“Yeah. It’s Quinque steel. I asked Itori if she minded if I had the knife they threw at her.”  
“This...would cut you?” I asked; a frown forming on my face. “Why are you giving me this?”  
Why give me a weapon that could hurt him, or other ghouls!? “To protect you. Keep it hidden. Just like your mask. If someone from the CCG sees you with that they may have questions. So stick it in a boot or an inside pocket while you're out. But someplace you can reach it just in case.”

“...Thank you. Really...I don't know how to use a knife. But thank you.” I smiled weakly. It was nice - but the fact that he gave this to me only told me it was possible that someday I’d have to use it. That wasn’t a pleasant thought I’d ever like to think about too deeply. "Someone can teach you."

“I have to go...Lock the doors. Let nobody in. Nobody. I’ll be back in the morning.”  
I watched as Uta turned to leave with Renji. I shoved the knife into its sheath and hurried to catch up. “Ai-cha----” I interrupted by wrapping my arms around his middle and hugging him tightly. “Come back safe. Please.” I barely came up to his shoulder when he was standing up straight but he leaned down to set his chin on the top of my head and wrapped an arm around my waist. “...if I die….”  
“D-dumbass! You’d better not die!” I hissed in mock anger, pulling away enough to look up to see his face while he smirked down at me.  
“...If I die...then give the meat in my fridge to Itori.”

“Don’t be stupid! Go! Go kick some asses and get Eyepatch back! You’d better not come back hurt either!” Chuckling darkly the ghoul leaned down to my ear and whispered softly. “If I do, will you feed me again?” 

“N-no! If you do something dumb you’ll have to fix your own sorry ass!” He released me and chuckled on his way out the door. 

The moment it was closed I felt a lot more alone and numb. Worries were settling on my heart like a pile of rocks. They were off to go fight for Ken...while I sat back here and stayed safe in Uta’s home. They could all die…

I looked down at the knife in my hand and gripped it tight making a silent plea that everyone came home safe and sound.


	22. Chapter 22: Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starting to get into the territory where I may go with Manga things rather than Anime things.  
> So spoilers? Kinda? Also im sitting at home making Pandemic face masks like:
> 
> “IM A MASK MAKER NOW! HUR DUR!!!"  
> I spent most off the week making these masks cause my work not be providing them. QnQ  
> Gotta keep my peeps at work safe!

I walked up to the empty apartment after locking the doors and turning off lights. My dog watched me as I flopped down on the couch that I’d already begun to grow used to. I tossed his toy and bowel on the ground for him and watched as he sprung to grab it, whirl it around and bring it back to me...but I didn’t feel much for playing at the moment. “You’re cute. But...maybe later bud…”

Bjorn tried his best to get me to play but seemed to realize that I wasn't having it after a few minutes. Giving up, the pup grabbed the toy in his jaws and ran around with it; shaking his head and entertaining himself. I turned the TV on and flipped to the news where they were already starting a report about ghoul activity picking up in a number of wards.

I took a deep, steadying breath and stood back up with Bjorn’s food, my brewer and sugar cradled in one arm and the knife Uta gave me still tightly clenched in the other hand. What was I supposed to do with this? It wasn’t even legal. Forget the CCG, if the police saw me with a knife I’d be arrested. Then again; I suppose when you’re a ghoul carrying around an illegal knife is the least of your concerns. He probably either didn't know or didn't care for a knife law.  
Stopping in front of the fridge I stared down at it. Last time I’d opened it...there had been a whole torso in there. I set the brewer and sugar down on the counter first and took another deep breath in, held it and then let it out in a long gust.  
As much as I’d love to just open the door and throw the meat in without looking; that would just make me end up mixing it up. I pulled the fridge open and peered in expecting something as bad as last time…

“Eh?” I said aloud. Stacked in neat little piles were Tupperware boxes. No limbs or whole torso’s. Only the jar of eyes was left to startle whomever opened his fridge. I leaned down to look at it at eye level. Upon closer inspection I could see that it was still meat and organs. But it looked like the ghoul had gone ahead and cut it up into neat little strips and unrecognizable bite sized bits. I placed Bjorn's meat on a clear shelf and closed the fridge again; confused but also more than a little relieved to not have to deal with people shaped ‘food’ in the fridge.

I grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch and pulled it around me before sitting down to burrito myself there while my eyes were fixed onto the TV screen.

“Remember to thank your local CCG and Police Agents for their service!” The reporter spoke in excited, happy tones that irritated me. It struck a nerve I hadn't realized I'd had in me and I sneered at the TV. They all hoped for my friend's deaths and made no secret of it. I was worried beyond belief and these people wanted to cheer and have me thank the Doves. The reporters didn’t shy away from recording people's hatred and death wishes for ghouls. I wanted to shut off the TV but I forced myself to keep it on on the off chance I heard anything useful.

♥

Hours passed by and my eyelids felt heavier. I got Bjorn’s food around for him, making damn sure I got him the right meat and none of Uta's food mixed up. A coffee or two was made and quickly consumed but even hours of tension and anti-ghoul rhetoric news couldn’t keep me wide awake. As much as I wanted to message any one of them to make sure they were okay I kept my hands off my phone. Doing that would just distract them at a really bad time. I hadn’t asked how long this meeting would take...

I drifted a few times towards the void of sleep as I lay on my side; burritoed and struggling to keep my eyelids open.  
The hours ticked by oh so slowly from the late afternoon, to night and into the wee early hours of the morning. The last time I spotted the time was easily 3 am.

I opened my eyes a crack, squinting around the room when I heard a light shuffling sound. I groaned and stretched my limbs out of my cocoon. The TV had been shut off. The clock read 3:34 am and the kitchen light was on with someone shuffling around the fridge. “Uta?” I muttered; mind slightly lagging behind my body as I struggled out of my burrito and onto my feet to stumble to the kitchen.  
Knelt down in front of the kitchen fridge was my host. Back from the meeting and rummaging around in his fridge at half past three. He looked up at me with wide red eyes while he held a little box of meat in his hands; like a kid getting caught in the cookie jar. “Oh. You’re still up?”

I shook my head gently. “Not...really. No. I stayed up waiting as long as I could...waiting on you. I was worried since I wasn’t sure if you’d all be running off to battle now or later.” Seeing him now, it didn’t look like they had. I imagined a fight would take some toll on someone's clothes at the very least. I was relieved to see him come back safe and sound.  
“What was the plan? Do you guys know where Eyepatch was hauled off too?”

“They didn’t know. For now. Itori is set to gather information on them and find out where Kaneki was brought. It seemed like the Anteiku ghouls all agreed that they would be going on a rescue mission when everything is set up.” He stood up from the ground, still holding the small meat box. "It likely will be a week or more before we can make a move…”

“A week…” My eyes widened and I felt suddenly very much awake. Ken, the poor kid. He’d be at the whims of the ghoul gang everyone was concerned about for nearly a week! And that was Uta's low end guess; it could be perhaps even longer than that. There was a very real chance that he’d be dead before they even got the right information to find him! They’d be looking for a corpse!

“He could be dead by then!” I argued.  
“That’s possible.” Uta said far too calmly while cracking open the little tupperware of meat and sniffing at it.  
“-but Yoshimura asked me to make a special order for the plan.” He picked up a bloody piece between his fingers, tipped his head back and dropped the flesh into his open mouth. With his jaws working on the food he waved me back towards the living room. I moved reluctantly as he directed. He followed; taking a seat on the couch and continuing to eat. Between bites he told me a little more. “As much as everyone is willing to run off right away; We can’t go running off someplace we don’t know much about…”

“No. I know...Poor Kaneki though.” I sighed softly and sat down in my spot, still warm from when I’d slept on it. I snuggled up and relished the warmth of my nest of blankets while Uta ate. “So. Tell me…” He gulped down a chunk. “What happened at the cafe today?”

“OH...oh that. I didn't really see much but the aftermath; but I suppose Aogiri attacked the cafe while I was upstairs in the second kitchen cleaning. I wiggled my way into a cupboard and hid…” I twiddled my fingers; staring down into my lap. I still felt very guilty and ashamed for hiding even when it was my only good option. What else could I have done, run in swinging a frying pan? That would have been lunacy. “...I thought I hid pretty well. I even tried to hide my own scent...but I guess that doesn't work. Actually, Nico was with them. He was the one who found me but he didn’t rat me out---he actually kept me safe, I guess. Probably because he knows you.”

“I guess I owe him…” Uta exhaled and poked around his food for a moment. “Nico has an extremely good sense of hearing as well as scent. He'd be hard to hide from."  
All the other ghouls HAD marched right on by without turning to look. I wasn’t sure if it was because Nico turned them away by telling them there was nothing and they trusted him; or because they just really didn’t smell me there. “What exactly did you do to hide your scent Ai-chan?”

“Huh? Oh. There’s a fridge of meat in the kitchen. I pulled out a bunch of it and tossed it on the counter and hid in the cabinet right under it. Between the cleaning supplies and the meat I figured it would be harder to smell me. Plus; People generally only see what they expect to. I figured the meat on the counter would explain why the room smelled like human...”

I giggled at the wide-eyed look he shot me. “I learned from hunting." I explained unable to stop myself from grinning. “Anyway, I text Yoshimura for help first. I thought about texting you...but Nico found me first. I suppose we’re lucky we met earlier at the bar…” I'd hate to think what would have happened if the ghoul hadn't known I 'belonged' to Uta.  
I’d probably be dead right now - no questions asked.

I looked up from my lap when Uta didn’t reply right away. He was gazing down at his meal with a blank look I recognized when he hid his emotions behind an invisible mask. “Uta, what’s wrong?”  
“Nothing. It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing. You’ve stopped eating mid-meal and are just staring at it blankly.” I raised an eyebrow at Uta and pouted. He glanced at me almost sheepishly as he was caught.  
“...just wondering what the other clow---friends of mine are getting up to.” He did finally stuff the rest of the meat into his mouth. The blood that pooled at the bottom of the container quickly followed.  
“If he’s your friend. Why’s he with them? Do you think he’d tell you how to find them?” Nico had seemed nice enough, so I couldn't help but wonder why he was with people who attacked my workplace and helped kidnap a friend.

“Likely not. He probably has his own reasons for being there..." Uta stood and brought his plastic dish to the kitchen and dumped it in the sink for later. When he came back he looked me over carefully. “You never changed out of your work clothes…” He sniffed and wrinkled his nose slightly. “You smell a bit like…”

“Blood?” I thought, remembering the hunk of human flesh I’d handled earlier. Just thinking of that made me want to go wash my hands. Maybe take a good long scalding hot shower while I was at it.

“I was going to say Bleach.” He chuckled softly and added. “Remember; Blood would smell good.”

“Oh. Sorry...” I checked the time. Nearly 4 am. “It’s too late to head home isn't it…?”  
“You want to leave?” He questioned.  
“I mean. Not really. But I do want a shower and a new set of clothes. And now I have a ghoul telling me I smell bad.” I whined softly but stuck my tongue out to tease him. “After touching a dead body, stuffing myself into a cupboard and nearly dying...a shower sounds like a slice of heaven honestly…”  
Uta stood up, left the room and headed towards his bedroom leaving me perplexed. Did I say something wrong? I pouted at Bjorn who lay nearby. “I don’t smell that much like bleach do I buddy?” The dog lifted his head up from his front paws and cocked his head at me; and sneezed.  
“...that was entirely unnecessary and I feel attacked” I muttered bitterly at my dog. I sniffed at my work clothes experimentally and-- Actually. Unlike the other times people told me I smelled like something: I COULD smell the chemicals when I had my nose pressed right up against it. I hadn't really considered it before but If I was smelling it clearly maybe it was much worse for the ghoul.

“Here.” I heard from my left and turned to see Uta holding a small stack of fabric. Clothes and towels. “If you want you can use the shower and wear this until I get you home in the morning...but I didn’t mean that you smelled bad…Sorry.”

I looked between the things he was handing me and his sheepish expression. Fixing my gaze at the stack of clothes and towels my brain stalled between the happiness endorphins flooding my brain at the idea of getting the opportunity to jump into a wonderfully scalding hot shower...and the fact that I’d be taking a shower at Uta’s. Before I knew it my hands were reaching for the little stack. The promise of a warm shower won out against any embarrassment or hesitation.  
“You don’t mind?”  
“No. Not at all...I’m going to bed Ai-chan.” He walked back towards his bedroom, stopping and adding. “Oh. Itori and Renji might stop by later in the morning. If I’m still asleep just knock on my door to wake me up...”

“O-okay, Sure. Goodnight Uta-kun.” Uta disappeared into his bedroom leaving me to look over the clothes he’d given me. His clothes. I went to the bathroom, locking the door behind me and setting the clothes and towels on the sink counter. I’d been in my work outfit for too long anyway and my hair was a mess. Starting the water I let it get hot and start to steam up the room. I tossed my dirty clothes off to the side and stepped in. Scorching hot water stung my skin and made me red as a lobster; but I was comfortable like this as my muscles relaxed. Under the water the dirt, sweat and worries of the day washed off my skin.

The only soap was his. Experimentally I uncapped it and sniffed. It wasn’t an extremely strong scent. Considering his reaction to the scent of bleach I wasn’t too surprised he’d chosen a more chill scent. It was a long shot from the overpowering AXE brand some men used. However, it was definitely still a men's soap with a musky scent. It was also a scent that was vaguely familiar to me. Uta. I’d probably been subconsciously smelling this on him the entire time. With little other choice I used it - hoping that he wouldn’t mind. Afterall, he had been the one to offer to let me shower here.

I stepped out of the shower feeling warm and clean...and smelling a bit manlier. I dried and redressed; forced to re-wear my underclothes until I could get home. But I felt a bit better with a set of fresh ‘Uta clothes’. I took a look at what he’d found me to wear. I knew that I was going to be absolutely swimming in these pants…

I looked at myself in the mirror and held back my snickers. He’d given me a pair of parachute-pant like pants he seemed to like and a t-shirt. While it was a given that the pants would look big just because of the way they were...the T-shirt could have been a short dress and hung off my shoulders.

I ran my fingers through my hair after ruffling a towel over it for a while and stepped out of the bathroom holding my uniform. Bjorn lay by the door ‘protecting’ me and waiting for my return. I leaned down and gave him a few head pats before going back to the living room and laying down. The pup followed and laid at my side next to the couch.  
Once I was laying down again it was easy to fall asleep. I was warm, comfterble and surrounded by a nice familiar smell.

♥

“U-KUN!”

My eyes snapped open when hearing a feminine voice carry up through the apartment. That was Itori!  
I sat up on the couch and saw that Bjorn was standing and pointing at the door with his head raised up high. I stood up and put my hand over his head and patted him to try to calm him down. “Bjorn, stay. Quiet.” I took off towards Uta’s room.

I knocked on the door and called his name. “Uta-kun, are you up? Itori’s here in the shop.”  
I stopped and listened. What I heard was a small groan and some movement before the room went quiet again. He was definitely still in there. “UTA. Sleepy head! Git up, your friends are here!” I knocked again, more forcefully. This time I heard him mutter some functioning words. “...I’m up.” I stood and waited until the door to make sure he actually got up. I was about to knock again when the door swung open and Uta stepped out. He stopped short and looked me over. It was then that I remembered that I was wearing his clothes and my face flushed light pink. “Er...they’re a bit big on me. But…they’re comfy. Thank you again for letting me borrow them...”

“...Cute…” The ghoul said, still sleepy.  
I choked on my words and sputtered struggling to come up with a retort. I didn't have to though because from outside the apartment door I heard the reason I’d come to get Uta up in the first place. “U-KUN!? Are you still sleeping?” The goth ghoul yawned, stepped around me and headed for the living quarters front door and pulled it open. “Oh there you are! Sleeping late?”

Behind the red head stood the tall and quiet ghoul; Renji. “Hey guys…” I poked my head out from behind Uta and waved.

Itori’s eyes landed on me and widened once she’d surveyed my current 'choice' of clothes. “Oh! Ai-chan! Look at you! That’s so cute! ★ Did you stay the night again?” I blushed as she wiggled her eyebrows quickly in my direction suggestively. Her comment brought back to mind her earlier comment about Uta taking me on a date as well as the possible suggestions she was implicating. I still wanted to argue the 'date' being a DATE-DATE was unlikely. “Y-yeah.”  
Ignoring her comments Uta waved Renji and Itori into his apartment. I saw Renji give me a look over as he passed and raised an eyebrow at my current clothing as well. I'd probably never hear the end of this...  
Itori and Uta took a seat on the couch, leaving little room for Renji or myself. While Renji chose to stand by with his arms crossed across his chest; I went to sit on the ground by Bjorn who was doing remarkably well considering the situation. His eyes darted between all three of the ghouls in the room but he didn’t bark or growl at the two ‘new’ ghouls.

“You plan on sleeping all day? You got plenty of masks you have to make…”  
“They’re all identical.” Uta seemed disappointed and I couldn't exactly blame him. Imagine having to make each one by hand and they all had to be the same. What a great way to make his fantastic art job feel tedious and boring. “And you have information to gather. Ai-chan said Nico was with them at the cafe…”  
“He won’t tell me anything. Unless I can give him something juicer than what he’s got there. Which I doubt....” The woman sighed, her eyes landed on me again. “But speaking of information! This could be some juicy gossip!~”

I tried my best to stay neutral and simply smile. She was getting much more ballsy with announcing what she thought. “Well the pants are really comfortable. Ten out of ten would recommend bottoms like this. I might have to find a pair that is meant for my size actually...”

“Oh! I bet U-kun wouldn’t mind lending you some once in a while!~”

“Itori. We came over to go over the plans…” Renji interrupted, saving me from a conversation that was headed into a humiliating direction. I shot him a grateful look and decided NOT to bring up why he smelled like cats any time soon - or at least I wouldn’t today. “Fiiiine. You chilled out and turned into a grumpy old man Renji-kun!” Itori said, shooting Renji a sour expression. “...I'm working on finding out where they're located. I've got some leads to follow. I’ve got to meet with some people tonight to collect. After that I'll be looking for a floor plan. That should help you guys when you go in..."  
"Yoshimura wants me to go find a few people to go with us. Including Tsukiyama." Renji glanced in my direction but my gaze dropped to Bjorn's head. I silently pet the giant dog's head and ears.

"...oh. Him..." The tone of Uta's voice dropped flat and dry. Bitter. After our last encounter with the Gourmet ghoul I couldn’t exactly blame him.  
"Oh, You seem even less fond of him than usual U-kun?” Itori glanced around the room between myself and Uta. “Didn’t Ai-chan like him? And you seem really quiet Ai-chan; did you have a falling out?" Honestly, I was a little surprised to see that Uta hadn’t told his friends about what had happened. I would have thought that Uta would have said something at the bar at least once. However, it seemed that he'd kept that encounter to himself. Aside from that; her question was a hard one. Yes. We had kind of had a ‘falling out’ but as I told Uta I still cared about Shuu. He'd been my only 'real' friend before when I was younger. I was simply...disappointed that he'd thought so little of me in return. The one 'real' person had been fake after all. Part of me still hoped he’d come around and maybe regret thinking of me as such.  
"Kind of...you could probably say that." I muttered, still staring at Bjorn's big head and scratching behind his ears until he leaned into the touch. “Oh...I see.”

“No matter how you feel about it, I agree with Yoshimura. Having another person come along is the best idea. We’ll most likely be up against not just Aogiri, but the Doves as well. I have to make sure he doesn't try to eat the kid once we find him...”

I grimace at the mention of cannibalism. Why the gourmet thought that Kaneki would taste good - I hadn’t a single clue. However this wasn’t the first time I’d heard that Tsukiyama wanted to eat eyepatch. Touka had been talking about it - and Tsukiyama’s subsequent banning - at the cafe one night. Why was a mystery to me; It’s not like the Gourmet didn’t have plenty of other options for ‘food’. With his family and influence I doubted there was nearly anybody he couldn’t get his teeth into. Which was a fairly frightening thought actually. Bjorn had wiggled his whole head into my lap while they spoke about Shuu, effectively trapping me unless I really tried to shove him off. It was a nice distraction from thinking too deeply about my old ‘friend’.

“I’m sure he’s obsessed enough with Kaneki to help get him back at least.” Itori exhaled a huff of air. “Uta’s got masks to make. Renji-kun has people to find. And I’ve got to go to meet with some of my people and trade information. Wish me luck★!~”  
“I’m going to need to go out shopping for supplies.” Uta muttered.

I kept my eyes on Bjorn but spoke up. “I don’t know where he might be now but when I was a kid the Tsukiyama Estate was in the 21st ward. You could maybe inquire from someone there...or...Wait!” I struggled with Bjorn on my lap but I pointed at my phone left on the coffee table. “Look through my contacts. Shuu gave me his phone number, you can try to call him if you want.”

Uta picked up my phone first and tried to click it on. “6174” I said when the male was presented with the locked home screen of my phone. He glanced up briefly before typing it in and getting access to my entire phone and my contact list. It was a slim list actually. There was the number to a few food places, old work coworkers I hadn’t deleted yet as well as my new coworkers. And then there was Shuu who gave me his number when I'd first reunited with him. That felt like it had been ages ago when it had only actually been a few weeks. “While you have it open. Can I get your numbers; Itori, Renji?”

Itori rounded on Uta and pouted. “U-kun! You were supposed to give it to her like a week ago!”  
“I forgot.” The goth said, avoiding eye contact with his friend and ‘concentrating’ on scrolling through my phone contacts. “Really, you forgot? Bull! You just don’t want the ladies you know gossiping about you!~!” The woman shook her head and sighed. “Ai-chan, I'll type in Renji-kuns for you too!"

Uta exchanged Shuu’s number with Renji and my phone was passed to the redhead woman. After a minute she stood up and walked it over to me. To my amusement, when I looked at the new contacts she’d typed in her name as: Itori 🤡  
I sent her and Renji both a short ‘hello’ message so they’d see my number and be able to add my name to it. A few moments later I heard each of their phones chime. Itori pulled out her phone, read my message and then snickered.

Aika: 🎪🎈🤹

“Thank you Aika.” Renji said softly to which I nodded. I was happy to help as long as Ken was able to be brought back. Sooner than later. “Hopefully he answers you. Er. Maybe don’t tell him I gave you that number though…” The man nodded. The grim look set on his face told me that he at least understood my worry. Shuu might actually get irritated at me for giving out his number. It’s not like I’d asked if I could. 'Serves him right though' said a nasty little thought popping into my head - maybe.  
“C'mon. Itori. Uta’s got work…”  
“Awee, Renji! I wanted to stay longer. We can relax for a little while.”  
“Let’s go.” Renji said more firmly, moving towards the exit quickly. He waited for Itori to head out the door first and turned back: “Aika, Yoshimura asked that you give him a call on Wednesday to discuss if you still want to help clean up the cafe. He’s giving everyone vacation until this is settled. Your free to do with as you please. He said not to worry about your finances...and don’t starve yourself again.”

I sheepishly looked at the ground and blushed like mad. I’d absolutely never live down fainting in the street would I? “...y-yeah. I’ll try not too.”

♥  
I recovered from my embarrassment after Renji and Itori left. It was kind of funny hearing from a bunch of ghouls ‘don’t starve yourself’ all things considered. However; hearing from Renji that Yoshimura didn’t want me worrying about finances was a refreshing bit of kindness from a boss of mine. “I think I might actually have gotten the best boss. Best boss ever.” I muttered to Bjorn as I wiggled out from under his giant head.

“Don’t listen too much to what Itori says.” Uta warned me. I smirked smugly and put my hands on my hips. “Oh? ARE you afraid of what she’s going to gossip about if I ask about you?”

“Maybe. But...she also likes to collect information. So keep that in mind Ai-chan.” He stretched his limbs and headed to the kitchen leaving me to wonder what exactly that meant by that. What information could I possibly provide anyway. “Is she like...an information broker or something?”  
“Not exactly."

"I do have to go shopping later…” Uta said from the other room. “Do you want to stick around here or go home?”

I poked my head into the room and raised an eyebrow at the ghoul. He was looking between my Brewer I'd brought over and his own crappy coffee machine. “Are those my only two options? Is your shopping a secret ‘ghoul only’ thing.”  
“Fabric and hardware store. You can come if you want. But…” He turned his head towards me and his eyes ran across my body from head to toe. A small smirk flickered to life on his face. “Unless you want to go out like that...you might want to change your clothes.”

I looked down at my clothes. Actually; HIS clothes. I felt my face once again heat right back up to a boil. It was one thing to have a similar taste in style but another thing entirely to waltz out in public wearing his clothes. “Oh yeah. I forgot…I should probably go home and change. Feed Bjorn...take another shower.” At the mention of ‘feed’ and ‘Bjorn’ in the same sentence the dog in question was up and bouncing around my legs in a way that threatened to knock me off my feet.

“You'd better not make too much fun of me Uta! Now that the best coffee cafe around is closed you'll have to ask me to make it! Unless you prefer your coffee machine...”

"I'm not making fun of you Ai-chan. If you want to walk around in my clothes I don’t mind. It’s cute...” He looked up from his shitty coffee machine and pouted. “Please make me a coffee Ai-chan…”

“I…” I lost my train of thought and yelped as I stumbled over Bjron who finally got fed up with waiting and pushed me over onto my ass.

“You okay?” Uta asked, poking his head out of the kitchen when I'd fallen with a loud thump.  
“Yeah. I’m fine. This giant furball just---” I grunted with effort as I wrapped my arms around Bjorn’s middle and grappled him to the ground. “---Pushed me over!” Getting him tipped over I started to rough house with him flipped onto his back where he wiggled with his legs and tail flailing happily like he was a little puppy again. The biggest dogs always seem to have the smallest dog energy! Bjorn was no exception and really seemed to think he was a small dog who could jump and climb on me without harm!  
“Uta I’ll make you a coffee to go once I’m ba--ACK!”

Bjorn flailed again and his skull collided with my face, cutting off my sentence with a painful crack I felt through my teeth. “Fffffffuck!” I grunted and pulled away from the wiggling dog.”Okay, calm down!”I started to coo at him to calm him down from his high energy 'attack'. All the while I was holding my jaw in my hands. When he realized I'd been hurt the pup calmed and laid down with his head down on his paws. Looking up at me through his 'eyebrows' Bjorn whined softly. I rubbed my jawline and peered down at him with a pained smile. "S'okay bud. You didn't mean too…I'm all right. It’s okay..."

I jolted in surprise when I felt fingertips brushing my chin and pulling my face upwards. I found myself face to face a worried ghoul. “Sorry, I’m okay Uta. I’ll make your coffee once I get back from changing my clothes and---”  
“You’re bleeding.” The ghoul said, gently interrupting me and looking at my face. His eyes were fixed just below my eyes on my nose and lips.  
Confused, I reached up to feel my face and immediately pulled my hand away; red and slick from blood that was now flowing freely from my nose. “Oh fuck!” I muttered, looking at my now bloody hand. I held my hand under my face and stood up trying to avoid any dripping on my (his) clothes or the carpet. “Shit,shit,shit…”  
Bjorn barked as I made a beeline for the bathroom and shut myself in. I leaned over the sink and breathed through my mouth as my nose was filling with blood. I dripped into the sink while I grabbed some paper off the toilet paper roll and made a neat little bundle to hold to my nose. All I could do was take a seat on the lid of the toilet seat, pinch the bridge of my nose and wait for it to stop leaking.

After a few minutes I heard a low growling from outside the door followed by Uta speaking up. “Ai-chan...are you okay?” I smiled at the sound of his voice. It was muffled because he wasn’t up next to it. Likely Bjorn was standing just outside and the growling had been my dog “protecting’ me from harm.  
“Yeah. I’m okay. Just waiting for it to stop bleeding…”  
“...Can I get anything to help?”

Something to help? Well I had things at home that might help. But I doubted that the ghoul had tylenol or any other pain meds to reduce the swelling that probably would follow the nose bleed.

“Something cold maybe? Ice Cubes, wrapped up in a towel might help.” In my house I’d pull out a bag of frozen food and slap it on; but here…  
The idea of slapping frozen human meat on my face to help was nothing short of ‘iky’.  
“I’ll check.”

I sat back and sighed softly. I hated nose bleeds! Especially now where I could feel my heart pulse in my nose and it felt stuffy from when I was hit. I wanted to blow my nose - but that would just make it worse and bleed more!

“Ai-chan...I’ve got ice.”  
“Doors not locked…” I said softly and waited. But no Uta appeared in the bathroom. Instead I heard the intensity of Bjorn’s growling rev up like a car engine. Holding my nose tight with one hand I got up and pulled the door open to see Bjorn standing up, blocking the door and growling at Uta. All his hair was raised up on end. “Bjorn. No.”

The dog's head turned around to look at me with big brown eyes. “C’mon. You know Uta…he’s not going to hurt me. Calm down Bear-bear...” I gently pat along the dogs back until his hair no longer stood on end and he sat down; defeated by soft words and comfort. “Sorry about that…”

“It’s fine. He’s trying to protect you…” Uta stood by the door and peered down at Bjorn. The ghoul was holding a wrapped towel and ice cubes. “Ai-chan, Come out and sit…”

“I don’t want to bleed on your couch!” I argued nervously. Looking at the sink it was already covered with drips and splatters of blood. I really needed to clean that up! “I think I already got some on this shirt you lent me, I’m really sorry…”

“It’s fine Ai-chan. C’mon out…” It was hard not to have my worries soothed by Uta when he spoke gently towards me. After a moment of hesitation I stepped out and followed the ghoul back to the living room and the couch. I took a seat and continued to hold my nose; applying pressure I hoped would help stop the flood. Bjorn followed close by and watched Uta like a hawk. As though the canine thought the ghoul would suddenly lean in and bite.

“My crazy dog really thinks you’re going to hurt me…” I muttered as the ghoul handed me the wrapped ice which I set on my nose. The ice felt very pleasant as it relieved some of the pain right away. I let out a soft sigh of relief.

The ghoul left my side for a minute. I could hear running water in the bathroom and then he returned to the couch to sit close beside me.. “S-sorry about the bathroom. I can clean up all the blood after.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll get it.” A wet cloth was pressed against my face as the ghoul began mopping up spilt blood from under my nose and my lips. “You’re welcome to keep that shirt though…” I looked down briefly to see the collar of the shirt was red now. “Fuck..I’m sorry.” I apologise; again. “I think it’s stopped bleeding at least…”

The ghoul continued to dab blood off my chin and neck; the cloth he held now was stained a light pink. “You don’t have to apologize for bleeding Ai-chan. But when I said ‘blood would smell good’ I didn’t mean that you should make my entire apartment smell like yours…”

I blushed and felt my pulse quicken - in my nose it beat like a jackhammer - painfully. “S-sorr...I mean. I didn’t mean to.”

“I know. I was joking.” I raised my eyes to look at Uta as he looked over my face. “God the blood...but your nose is bruising.” I let go of my nose experimentally and didn’t feel any new blood flood to join the blood already lost. “I’m just going to look like I got punched for a few days…” I sighed softly. “Maybe I’ll bandage it over…”

I nudged Bjorn gently and pouted. “You have a very hard skull for a ball of fluff!” The pup whined and grumbled, not understanding my words but hearing the tone of my voice. “You’re a good boy though…” I reached to rub his big head, calmly this time. I didn’t blame Bjron at all; after all I was the smol human that decided to rough house with the giant dog who had zero spatial awareness. “You didn’t mean to hurt me. It’s okay.”

♥

I waved to Uta as I left his studio. He leaned against the doorframe at the exit of his shop watching me head towards home with Bjorn at my side. I hurried straight home since being covered in blood was a little suspicious!

Once home,I took time to look over my face in the mirror where I’d been smacked and saw that Uta had been correct; I was turning into a rainbow of colors across the bridge of my nose. Thankfully, it didn't seem to be broken, just sore and bruised. I took a very fast cold shower because I was afraid that the heat and steam would start up the blood flood. I put on my own clothes, keeping the shirt Uta said I could keep and putting it aside while I folded the pants back up as neatly as possible. Bjorn got his food and snuggled up on his bed. Finally, before heading back out I tried my best to hide the bruise by sticking a small bandage over the bridge of my nose.

I did a double check to make sure I had my bagged mask and some extra supplies in case my nose decided to start bleeding again. The knife was currently sitting on Uta’s coffee table.  
“See ya later Bear-Bear!~”

I slowed to a walk on my way back. When I came to the front door I found a sign on Uta’s door stating he wasn’t taking orders for the week. I took a step in and called out. “I’m back!~”

“I’ve got those pants you lent me.”

“Set them over there.” He pointed over his shoulder at a counter while he worked on the beginnings of a mask. “Is that the ones you have to make for getting Ken back?”

“Yeah. They’ll be identical…” I leaned over the sketch he had laid out before him. It looked a bit like a grinning skull design. Pretty boring for a gang to go for something so...typical. At least it wasn’t an overly complicated and detailed design. “So this gang has a matching uniform? Seems dumb…anybody can sneak in that way. Do you want help making these?” The ghoul’s hand stilled for a moment as I offered. “I don’t know what I can do. But I’m sure I can do little stuff if you tell me how. It might make it easier…”

“Sure. I’m making a wooden model so I can cast the rest. Hand me a wood chisel? Bottom drawer on the last cabinet on the back wall.” I stood up straight, gave him a thumbs up and grinned. “Alright!”

I shuffled through the drawer he told me to look and found several. “What size?”  
“Bring me a few...and one of the woodcarving knives.” I returned with the tools he asked for and looked over his shoulder at his work so far. He had sketched the expression of the grinning skull onto the hunk of wood. “Knife.” He said gently and held his hand over his shoulder; palm up and waiting for the carving knife. I dropped the knife into his hand and smiled as he began to cut away excess bits of wood.  
“So what do you need at the store?”  
“I have enough Resin to make about three masks. But I need…about ten. Just in case. Depends on who shows up. Also feathers...”  
I raised an eyebrow and laughed softly. “Feathers? First you get glitter, now you want to feather your shop?”  
“I was thinking of a mask for Hinami. She likes that bird of hers.”

At the mention of the little orphaned ghoul my grin fell from my face. “She’s not going is she?”

“Yes.”

“She’s just a little kid!” I clenched the tools tightly in my hand. I was scared enough for Uta and the others; I didn’t need to add a little girl to a list of people I’d have to worry about dying on their raid to get Ken back! What good was saving one person only to lose others!?  
“She won’t be near any fighting.” Uta said gently. “Don’t worry.”

“That’s---...Still!” I insisted. “And If I was going?”

From where I stood I could see the ghouls eyes turn to look at me. “You’re not going.” He said with a tone of finality.  
“And yet a little kid is?” I challenged with my arms crossed over my chest. “What does it matter if I go then? it’s safe being ‘nowhere near the fighting’ isn’t it?”

“You can’t help.”  
“...” I flinched as that hurt me more than I’d expected. Even when I knew that was going to come up. Having it thrown in my face still pained me. I turned my gaze away from Uta’s eyes and clenched my teeth. Right. I was Human; not even a Dove with a weapon. Next to useless in a fight. “...yeah. I know. But she’s a child...”

“A ghoul child.” Uta corrected me and continued his work. “In the worst case scenario she has her Kagune to fight. We haven't taught you to fight yet...”  
Yet. That helped me feel a little better. Giving me the knife and teaching me to fight - it made me feel like there was some hope that I wouldn't always be totally helpless. “Are you really planning on showing me how to fight with the knife you gave me?”

“Not me…I’m trying to convince Renji-kun.”  
“You can’t teach me?”  
“I don’t want to accidentally hurt you.” He turned his head and looked up at my face. He placed a finger on the tip of my nose sending a slight twinge of pain through my nose, but a flutter of wings took off in my stomach and chest as I looked into those crimson eyes. “You’re fragile. Renji-kun would be better to start off...”

“You know, I’ve already known how to fight with a sword.”

“You’re still not going. Chisel.” I pouted; but handed over the tool. He was right and I knew it. In reality, I’d prefer to be here or at home safe where I wasn’t going to get in the way. Uta protected me here - but out there in a big fight I’d just be a burden. If I went I could end up getting someone else killed when they had to look after me.

“I hope someone’s at least going to be watching over her…”  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


♥

BONUS: I read a translation of "School of the Ghoul" spin off (AND DIED LAUGHING BTW!) And saw this page:  
And long story short ---There may be singing at some point!!!  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FUN FACT! WRITING ABOUT NOSE BLEEDS MAKE MY NOSE HURT!!!  
> So that was unpleasant to write!


	23. Chapter 23: SHOPPING!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aika's past might bite her one day!  
> Also it turns out Itori ships AikaxUta!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note: I SWEAR this chapter isn’t a bit later than I planned because I got caught up drawing stuff. Completely unrelated: Do you ever get so irritated there is no decent Dakimakura of a character so you just rage draw one for yourself?
> 
> No? Me neither. I didn't draw a Uta hug pillow instead of update. (IM SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG!)

I walked side by side with Uta as we got off the subway. “Uta...I know the other store was out of supplies you needed, but did we have to come to the 3rd ward again…” I looked around nervously remembering that this was where we had been chased from before. Now that it was daylight I could even see the tall building that Uta had brought me up on our ‘not’ date. The workers moved far above the ground, dangling precariously above the ground to make the buildings height even taller. 

“I came here for supplies before. Don’t worry.” Uta had his shades pulled over his ghoulish eyes. And a turtle neck with long sleeves pulled over his tattoos. A beanie sat slouched over his head and haircut. At least he was being careful but I didn’t feel much better. The idea of being recognized and chased back out still plagued my mind. I’d been confused and even a little dismayed as the ghoul covered up his tattoos. After asking if it was because of the weather he explained that they could be recognized later if anybody did catch sight of him. It made sense then that he’d try and hide them while out. Despite the loss of tattoos to look at; Once we were out and walking around I did start to silently appreciate the way the slim fit turtle neck shirt hugged his frame a bit more than his slouching tank tops ever could. I still found myself wondering some days how someone that looked like a twig be so muscular. It wasn't fair...

I pulled my eyes away from my companion and down at my own hands which had ‘tattoos’ over my knuckles. I’d love to walk around with no sleeves to show them off to the world but it was way too cold for that right now.  
“Still happy with them?” Uta asked, catching me staring at the dyed marks. I ran my hands over my arms and smiled fondly. “Yeah. Quite a bit actually…”

“So I take it you really would like some permanent ones.”  
“Yeah, I probably do. One thing at a time though! You’ve gotta poke another set of holes through my ears. And you still won’t let me see what you’re sketching for my first real tattoo!”

The ghoul smiled faintly. “Of course not. It’s going to be a surprise.”

“You really like surprises!” I grinned as an idea struck me. “Hey! When’s your birthday?”

“Oh. That was a few weeks ago.”

I paused, stopping right in the middle of the street. He said it so casually; like it meant nothing at all but I was absolutely horrified! The ghoul stopped a few paces ahead of me and looked back. “Ai-chan?”   
“You didn’t say anything!” I stared, open mouth and completely aghast. “Why didn’t you tell me! I’d have gotten you something! Or thrown a surprise party! Both! Definitely both!”

The male’s head tipped to the side; his face fairly blank. Once again it was difficult to get a read on him with the glasses blocking my view of his eyes. “I don’t really celebrate much. Never really have. When is yours?”

“Mine was back in October, right before I met you. I haven't celebrated it much since I left home…but! Don’t get me sidetracked! You didn’t tell me when it came up! When was it?”

“December 2nd…” Uta said gently and I began to think back immediately; trying to remember what I had been doing then. “That was...last week. When I was...working.” He’d been left alone the entire week without much more than a quick visit!

“Uta! You should have said something!”  
“Don’t worry about it Ai-chan. There’s always next year if you really want to do something.” He smiled faintly and waved me forward to continue on our way to the store. I followed, pouting at the man's back. If he thought I was going to wait an entire year he was gravely mistaken. I pulled out my phone as we walked and shot a message to Itori.

Aika: Why didn’t anybody tell me that Uta’s Birthday was this month and I MISSED IT! 😡  
Itori 🤡: Whoops.  
Aika: Don’t ‘WHOOPS’!   
Itori 🤡: Guess he ‘forgot’ to tell you. We don’t really celebrate though. Don’t feel too bad.  
Aika: We ARE doing something about this!  
Itori 🤡: OH!? Do tell!  
Aika: Party. 😡 I don’t know when. But we ARE having a party. Tell Renji.  
Itori 🤡: OH! Fun! I’m down!

“Are you upset with me?” Uta asked as I furiously typed on my phone. “No.” I took a deep breath and sighed. “I guess I’m upset I didn’t even visit you on your birthday. I feel a little bad. I haven't had a birthday in a few years either. There was nobody to really invite...but when I was a kid; those were some of the better days.” The last three Birthday’s had been very different from back then. They were spent sitting with Bjorn and blowing out a single candle on a cupcake...which honestly was quite sad and lonely. But it was something. Thinking of my ‘happy’ birthdays in the past made me want to throw a party for my friend - especially if they didn’t typically celebrate!

“Here.” The ghoul pulled open the door of a brightly decorated storefront and waited for me. The smell of candles, incense and perfumes hit me as we entered the shop. They had supplies for everything from making your own clothes, painting, clay and woodworking in here! “Ai-chan… I’ll be back there. Look around if you want.”

I nodded wordlessly as the ghoul departed my side to get his supplies. My eyes wandered around the shop taking it all in. It had been a while since the last time I’d been in a nice store in the lower wards. I searched around looking from colorful beads, paint brushes and huge blank canvases. I eventually made it to the back of the store where I stood and stared up at a few of the largest blank canvas sheets and started considering. Maybe I could get Uta something that I’d made? I’d had these things in my room in another life before I began to dislike creating art. His art was a lot different from what I’d done back then though. What if he didn’t like it?

“Ms. Kaneshiro?” I jumped as an electric spark of panic traveled up my spine hearing my name being spoken. I turned and stared wide eyed at the woman who spoke to me. “Ms. Okazaki!” I took a step back from the ageing woman who was looking at me with a similar amount of shock on her face. “Oh! Dear! Ms. Kaneshiro! I haven't seen you in ages!”

“Uh...yeah. I…” I muttered, awkwardly. Already I was searching for exits to head towards and away from this lady. “After you wandered off your parents...well, forgive me for saying so but they went completely out of their mind! Where have you been all this time!? And what are those marks on your hands. And those clothes...”

Ah yes. The snooty woman who worked for my parents as a tutor. Well; one of them. I’d hated my class with her because even when I wasn’t allowed OUT I was still expected to dress up like I was. Clothes. Hair. Makeup. The works. Forget about slouching in class or putting your elbows on the tables. She was THAT teacher. I swear looking at her made my knuckles hurt...  
“Y-you still work for my parents?”

“Well, yes. Of course I do. I’m sure they’ll be happy to know you are al---”

“NO.” I said sharply, just short of yelling. I held up my hands, and dropped my voice down to a normal level again and pleaded that the woman not say a thing to my family. “--No. Please. Don’t tell them anything. Don’t even tell them you saw me!”

She looked shocked and dismayed the instant I spoke up against her. “Dear, No need to raise your voice! That’s very unlady-like. I don’t see why you wouldn’t want them to know. And you’re obviously not doing very well on your own…” She shot my clothes with a disdainful glare. “You should come back home. I hope those marks on your arm aren't permanent! That’s---”

“Aika, what’s wrong? Heard you yell.” I turned my eyes towards Uta. He came up to my side holding a stack of cut fabric under one arm and a bag of bright yellow feathers and a bucket of resin in the other hand. He was staring at the woman in front of me. A pity she couldn’t see his eyes. I had little doubt she would have turned tail and run from the store screaming. Then again - I didn’t want Uta in trouble. 

I was biting my lip as my eyes tried to mist up. Step 1 towards crying in public.

“And who is THIS?” Ms. Okazaki said, sneering at Uta. She looked like she’d very much would have liked to grab my shoulders and pull me away from the goth man. “Did you hook up with some hooligan---” I shrunk away from the woman, leaning just a little towards Uta. My eyes lowered to the ground as I tried to calm myself down. “You know I WILL be telling your family where you are! Just where are you living; not with THIS man I hope! Your parents--!!!” Her voice jumped up into a shrill pitch as she said ‘your parents’.

“Ai-chan. Who’s this?” Uta asked, ignoring and cutting off the woman’s aggressive questioning completely. I couldn’t look up but I muttered quietly for the ghoul’s ears to catch. “Old Tutor...works for my family. Please, let's just go…”

“Ah. I see. Here.” Uta said in an even tone that didn’t seem to hold much emotion. He handed me the fabric and feathers which I cradled to my chest. His free arm was wrapped around my shoulders and pulling me close. “Ms. Kaneshiro! Don’t you dare walk away from me while I’m speaking to you! The nerve!”

I was pulled away from the scene by the ghoul. His arm dropped off my shoulder once we were a distance away and he had to pay at the check out. I could see the cashier shooting me worried glances and looking over my shoulder. I took a moment to look over my shoulder as well. Just once and I could see my old tutor glaring daggers at the man by my side.

Once we were outside the store and walking away I was unable to stop myself from watching over my shoulder. I almost expected the older woman to come tearing out of the store after us to stalk me home just to get my address. Or Uta’s. I was terrified at the consequences that may follow after my parents heard about me again after so long.   
Would I have to go back to looking over my shoulder…? I was an adult! I shouldn’t be afraid of my own god damn family! If they tried to make me go back it would be kidnapping! I just had to remember that and calm down!

“Are you okay?”  
“Yeah...I’m fine.”  
“You’re shaking…” I looked down at my hands to check. Sure enough I was trembling.

“I’ll be okay. I just need to chill out. I haven't run into anybody for years. She’s going to go back to my parents and tell them where I am...or where she saw me at least. I know they can’t literally drag me off. It’s not like I’m a KID. But I’m just worried about guys in suits knocking on my door and pestering me.” I looked over my shoulder again and bit my lip. No. She wasn’t following us. “I guess she doesn't know where I’m staying though...” I reached out a hand, flexing my hand in a ‘grabby’ way to offer to hold a bag. “Let me carry something.”

He handed it over and peered down at me from under his glasses so I could see his eyes while they remained hidden to other passerby's.   
“You want me to eat her?”  
“What? No!” I sputtered and stared at the ghoul in shock! “She’s an evil bitch but…”  
The ghoul was laughing at my reaction and I blushed a deep shade of red. Flustered, I muttered quietly under my breath. “Oh. You weren’t serious.”  
“Well, I could if you wanted. But otherwise no. I’ve still got food at home.” I watched him as he continued to chuckle softly; enjoying my reaction to his stupid joke. 

He had already killed for me; or because of me. I’d known that for...at least a few weeks. Hadn’t I? Uta had killed that mugger because he’d threatened me. It was one of those strangely endearing, but incredibly creepy ghoul things. Knowing this about him I had to check on something. “You’re NOT actually going to kill her, are you?”

“You don’t want me too.” I shook my head gently. I didn’t want to be the cause of another person's death if I could help it. Even if it was indirectly! “I won’t. But if she comes to the 4th ward and pesters either of us she’s fair game on my territory.”  
I stared up at the ghoul who peered down at me. He seemed to expect a disagreement; some rebuttal.. I was transfixed seeing a sliver of his red eyes. As much as I wanted to argue that he COULDN’T kill my ex-tutor-- He was a ghoul and I could hardly tell him not to eat people in his own ‘territory’.

I wasn’t asking Uta to change for my comfort.

“...deal.”  
♥

“This shit is a mess waiting to happen.” I said, looking over the materials he had waiting to use. Uta had packed the wooden prototype of the grinning skull into a mold to let it set for 24 hours. The mold had to set still - but I read over the instructions for the resin and was skeptical that clothes would survive this adventure.

“It’s the easiest way. And they’re only getting worn once…”

“True, I guess…” I felt bad that the masks he was making would be useless after their one time purpose; but at least he wasn’t individually carving each one for that to happen later anyway. “That has to set for a whole day then?” I nodded at the bucket he’d poured out a molding into for the mask. “Yup.” He was pulling bright feathers from the bag and sorting them individually into piles depending on size. A few smaller ones had already floated off his desk and either fallen to the ground or stuck to his clothes. I had a sneaking feeling these would be glitter 2.0.

My phone chimed and I pulled it from my pocket. I was a little surprised seeing it was from Itori.

Itori 🤡: Hey, tomorrow swing by the bar! No boys allowed!  
Aika: Alone? That’s kinda dangerous around that part of Tokyo. ;(  
Itori 🤡: Hum…  
Itori 🤡: I’ll pick you up at the station and we can hang out! Noon!

I pulled a stool over close to Uta and leaned in. “Hey, show me how to sew these.” I pointed out the straps that would be used to secure the grinning skull masks onto people’s faces. “ I can probably do a few.” The ghoul looked up from his work and then to the pile of cut, but un-sewn material. “Alright.”

He started to walk me through how each piece was sewn together and how the buckles and straps attached. As I started to work on one Uta would glance up from his work to study mine. After a few checks I noticed he wasn’t looking up as much. I assumed I was doing a fairly good job.

“Hey Uta, silly question…” I said, not lifting my eyes from my work. “You said to be careful around Itori; but I’m safe with her, right?” A pause followed my question but I kept my eyes on the stitching. After a few moments passed I thought I’d maybe been too harsh with the question.

“Safe? Yeah. You’re safe with her. Why?”

“Well, She wants me to hang out with her. She asked me to visit her at the bar tomorrow. “No boys allowed.”” I chuckled nervously. The rather childish like sentiment of ‘no boys allowed’ was a little funny but I also kind of feared what a ‘Girls only’ chat - with Itori especially - would look like. 

“You’re intimidated by her?” At this question I did finally look up from my sewing; stopping so I didn’t end up stabbing myself. “Saw right through me. Is it that obvious?”

He nodded his head slowly once. “Why? It can’t be because she’s a ghoul…”

“Nnnooo…I guess it’s a pretty stupid reason.” I began pulling the needle and thread back through my project again as I spoke. It was an easy distraction as I tried to think of how to express my thoughts to the male ghoul. It wasn’t because she was a ghoul. It wasn’t even because Uta had said to be careful because she’d fish for information. Or that she worked in a shady neighborhood. When it came right down to it, it was because---

“She’s pretty. Actually. Scratch that. She’s drop dead gorgeous. There’s people I saw when I was a kid that were famous or rich and they couldn’t even hold a candle to her…”

“You’re nervous around her because…she’s pretty?”

Well that wasn’t the only reason. She was pretty. Smart. Well dressed. Funny. And she seemed like she’d be a riot to be with at a party! I’d hardly seen her without a happy expression on her face! And she had known Uta for much, much longer than I had. Childhood friends.   
Was it simply a feeling of feminine competition that fueled this feeling of insecurity around her?

“Yeah. I told you it was stupid. Anyway, you’re not going to tell me you don’t think she’s pretty - are you?”

“Yeah, I suppose…” There was a solid minute of awkward silence where I regretted my words and cursed myself for spouting them out. What a stupid question. Why not just ask him if he liked anybody while I was at it!?

“You’ll be safe with her though; she’s not going to hurt you. If she gets you drunk again, call me so I can pick you up…when are you meeting her?”

“Tomorrow, at noon. She said she’d pick me up at the station. I have no idea what she's got planned…”

I tied off the end of a line of sewing and cut the thread. Placing the newly sewn set of straps on the desk for Uta’s inspection I leaned back in my seat and let out a long sigh. “I’m not sure I’ll survive a ‘girl talk’ though!”

“She'd probably enjoy that. She’s excited whenever I bring you to the bar with me. When you don't she asks a little about you...” Uta said, a smile on his face as he continued to work on sorting feathers. “It’s not like she can ‘girl talk’ with Renji and Myself.” I opened my mouth; about to complain that I really might die... and then I shut it.   
“Does she have any other close friends like you and Renji who are women?”

“Not particularly. Nico was her drinking buddy before he got busy...”

With furrowed eyebrows I thought about what he’d just said. Hearing that she was excited when I went to the bar was actually rather nice. Something about her only having close ‘dude’ friends made me kind of feel for the woman. “Alright, then I guess I’ll be hanging out with Itori tomorrow!” I smiled, resigned to whatever fate had in store. And by fate I meant Itori and whatever she planned.

I’d probably be pestered relentlessly about Uta and our ‘date’. Maybe I’d hear gossip or she'll just get me drunk again...but as much as I’d complain: I could probably use a girlfriend to hang out with once in a while too. Touka didn’t want anything to do with me and as cute as Hinami was; she’s a bit too young for some topics.

♥

We continued working for quite some time in a comfortable silence. After a while I’d lost track of time completely. It was only when my hands began to cramp up and I set aside a set of straps that I looked around for the time and found we’d been at this for HOURS. Uta had long since finished sorting and was now placing feathers into a hood-like mask one at a time by hand. It looked like it was starting to come together into a bird mask of some sort. Bright yellow.

I looked to my side and found I’d stitched my way through nearly five or six strap sets for masks, each one ready to be attached to a mask once it was done setting. I put down the needle and thread and stood up. My back and knees cracked in a few spots as I did so and I groaned. A groan turned into a soft moan as I stretched my arms above my head and reached for the ceiling.

Yawning, and blinking away tired tears I spotted Uta staring at me. “W-what?”  
“Hum? Nothing.” His eyes fell to the pile of straps I’d sewn together. “You got a lot done. Thank you. Do you want money for---” I cut off the ghoul with a sharp shake of my head. “Uta-kun, No. Not at all! I just wanted to help. They could figure out where he is by tomorrow if we’re lucky. If I help maybe we can make these faster...it’s the only thing I CAN do. I can’t fight or find information. I can’t do anything else, So I’ll just help here when I can and hope it’s enough.”

The lines around the ghouls eyes relaxed and then crinkled into a smile. “It’s enough Aika. Don't worry about that...”

I let out a long sigh and looked around the room. I began to pick up scraps and throw them away in the waste bin and put his needles and thread back in their proper places. It was a short cleanup process but by the time I was leaning the broom against the wall in the corner I was ready to go home. I’d been with Uta for most of the day - but I was hungry and even some ramen or heated dinner in the microwave sounded good about now.

“Uta-kun, I’m going to head home. I need to walk Bjorn before it gets dark and get myself something to eat.” I was surprised when the ghoul set his work down and stood up. He cocked his head to the side as I was shooting him a confused stare. “I’ll come with you for Bjorn’s walk. It’s not safe at the moment.”

“Oh come on, it’s the middle of the day. I’ll be fine. It’s still light out! It’s not like I’m wandering around at night.” I picked up my knife he’d given me off the counter where I'd left it earlier. “And I got this knife to put holes in people if need be!”

“...that is…” The ghoul looked reluctantly amused by my comment.. “...an interesting way to say you’ll stab someone.”

“I will be fine Uta, really. Promise. I got your phone number on speed dial--” I held up my phone in one hand and the knife in the other; twirling it between my fingers and nearly dropping it. “--- a stab tool and a big dog!” The ghoul watched me doubtfully, watching the knife almost slip from my grip. 

“...I’ll send you a message when I get back home.” I added, trying to calm the protective ghoul. As nice as it was that he cared and made that known -- I didn’t need a helicopter ghoul walking me around the town I’d been walking around for years. “I’ll call you the instant I even feel like anything is wrong! Anyway - you’ve got to work on Hinami’s mask there.”

Finally, the ghoul sat back down in his desk chair and picked up a pair of needle nose tweezers again. “Alright. Be careful.”

“Always!~” I smiled, waved and stepped out the front door. “I’ll stop over with coffee in the morning before I go to meet Itori!”

♥

I was perfectly safe, or at least unharmed as I went about my way; walking Bjorn, heading home and then getting my dinner. I sent messages to Uta as promised letting him know I was fine and settled in for the rest of the afternoon and evening. Knowing I’d be off to visit Itori the next day I set out some clothing for the trip out.

Sneakers, blue jeans and slim fitting t-shirt with wide blue-green and white stripes would have to do the trick. However, being that it was cold out my usual hoodie would cover that up anyway. I looked at the money I had from my new job and counted out my pocket money apart from my ‘rent and living’ money. It might be time to see about getting a new coat for the winter…  
I didn’t know how long the female ghoul would be occupying my day, I thought about what to do with Bjorn during that time. Leaving him here in my apartment didn’t really sit well with me if it could end up being all day…

Before bed I shot Uta a short message:

Aika: Can I ask a favor? Can you watch Bjorn tomorrow? He seems to be pretty used to you now! 🙏 

Uta replied a few minutes later with a 👍 that made me smile happily.  
Aika: Thanks Uta-kun! I’ll keep you updated tomorrow! I might need saving! 😂

I set my phone’s alarm for 10:30, put it on charge overnight and laid down; an arm hung off my bed to pet Bjorn’s head as he rested nearby. “Night-night Bjorn…” I muttered and closed my eyes. 

♥

I woke not to the sound of my alarm but to my dog licking my face. First I squirmed, turning my face around away from the assault but he became insistent and whined while nudging me with his cold nose; right on the back of my neck. Jolting up and groaning at my pet. “You’re a real jerk when you wanna be, aren't you?”

The huge dog barked and sat in front of the fridge and his bowl. “I’ll take that as a yes.”  
I reached for my phone and saw the time was nearly an hour before the time I’d set to get up. Too early, but also too late to try to get back to sleep. “You’ve got the worst timing sometimes bud…” I got up reluctantly and pulled meat from the fridge and dropped it into his bowl where I watched him wolf it down.

“Might as well get around...guess it gives me extra time to try and do something with this mess….” I ran my hand through my hair and sighed softly. I left the dog to his food and grabbed a towel and headed towards the bathroom. Thankfully here I had some pretty smelling flowery array of shampoos and body washes. Knowing their noses were sensitive I decided to pick a weaker scent and kept it toned down.

When I stepped out of the shower I wrapped a towel around my head and dried off my body to clothe myself in the outfit I'd picked out. I was happy to see that the shirt still fit me. It wasn’t one I wore frequently. I brushed out my hair and stared at myself in the mirror pondering what I could do with it.

I experimented with it for a while ending with a wide, loose braid over the top of my head and trailing down my back in what I could only describe as a braid mohawk. I took a glance at the makeup stored away I had but ended up deciding against it. It had been a while since I'd last tried to put on eyeliner and the idea of trying to get a 'wing' right was daunting.  
When all was said and done Bjron had been right about when I needed to get up. I was walking with the pup by my side and a coffee in my hand right on time for when I needed to leave to meet Itori. “You better be good for Uta!” I said to my dog who looked up at me with big chocolate eyes.

I knocked since his door still read closed. From inside I heard Uta call out. “Ai-chan, Come on in.” I opened the door and peeked my head in. “Uta-kun! I got a dog delivery and a coffee for the trouble! What’s that buzzing?” I searched the room and found Uta sitting on his stool pulled up to a mirror and holding a buzzing electric razor. “A haircut. The side was getting long.”

I watched as the ghoul ran the razer over the side of his head and came away with small clumps of fuzz leaving the side of his head looking a bit more like peach fuzz. Bjorn marched his way into the shop like he owned the place and laid down in ‘his’ spot. I dropped a toy by him and patted his head before going to Uta. “I didn’t even realize it was getting long.” I found myself peering at the peach fuzz side with the desire to reach out and pet it.

The ghoul turned to look at me for the first time as I handed him his coffee catching me staring at his head. “S-sorry. I don’t mean to stare!” I chuckled softly. “Your hair. You put it up differently today.” Uta said, distracting me for a moment and I raised a hand to my own hair. I felt along the braids and smiled.. “Oh..y-yeah. I thought I’d try something new since I was going out with Itori today."

“It looks nice.”

The butterflies in my stomach rose to my chest and filled the space around my heart with warmth. “Thanks! I was admiring your hair actually.” I hesitated as the heat spread up from my heart and all across my face. I inched closer and decided to push my luck a little. ”...I kinda want to touch it!”

Uta set down the electric razor and raised a hand to feel the side of his own head. “Ah, yeah. After I buzz it down it’s always like this.” He leaned forward and tilted his head to the side within range of my grasp. “You can, if you want…I won’t bite.”

I took another step closer and reached to gently touch the peach-fuzz buzz cut side of his head. “Soft…” I said in a slightly hushed voice. “It’s a bit like velvet. I suppose it’s also better than dealing with a whole mop of hair like this.” I pointed at my own hair. Long and only kept at bay by brushing it, braiding it, or putting it up in a ponytail. “...but that side of your head will get cold! It’s winter!” I chuckled.

“Hats.” Uta chuckled with me as I pulled my hand back. “You could try an undercut Ai-chan. When you have it down it looks normal. But it gets some of it off your neck. You’ll still be warm enough.”

“I don’t know...."

"...What do you think of short hair? When I left home it was about here.” I held my hand at about chin level and bit my lip. “It’s grown a lot since then.”

“I’m sure you looked nice with short hair. Haven’t you cut it since you left home?”

I shook my head. “A couple times early on, but afterwards I wasn’t too happy with it. I always had the same person cutting it. I guess I don’t trust anybody else to cut it…”

I glanced down at my phone and my eyes widened in horror. “SHOOT. I’m going to be late at this rate!” I double checked I had everything. Mask. Check. Knife. Check. Wallet. Check!

“Enjoy your coffee and I’ll see you later!!!” I yelled to Uta as I raced out the front door. “Be a good boy Bjorn!” I called to my dog who watched as I left. The creature heaved a big sigh and laid his head down on his paws; staring up at Uta.

♥

“Itori!” I called, waving a hand as I approached the station. I saw her hair from down the street. Gasping, I slowed to a slow jog and then to a steady walk as I made my way to her. “Gosh! Dear did you run all the way here!”

“Y----” I took a large gulp of air. “Yeah. I was running late and I had to run. I thought I’d miss the subway. Seems like I did….” I continued to breathe hard as the woman looked me over. “I didn’t know you were going to meet me here. I thought you meant the station in the 14th ward.”

“Oh! No! There’s not much in the way of good shopping around there. A few shops here and there but nothing really good enough to stick around for. There’s a few cute shops that have sprung up here in the last few years though! I wanted to check them out!” The woman smiled with an energy that was actually pretty infectious. “Shopping?”

“Yeah! You said you want to throw a party yeah!? Need stuff for that!” The woman gave me a quick once over and frowned. She was wearing a cute set of clothes that bordered on being ‘sexy’ without showing off too much skin which was good since it was getting colder as days went by. “I like what you did with your hair...But we gotta work on this! Come’on!”

My suspicions were proven correct as the female ghoul brought me store to store. Unlike my initial fear that she’d only talk about hair or nails or ‘girly’ things, Itori began to happily recount the pasts of Uta and Renji when they were kids. From her I was beginning to realize how serious those fights between Uta and Renji had actually been. “When he was young Uta was trying to put an end to Yomo’s trouble making in the 4th ward! It was his job as the ‘leader’; a peacemaker. Yomo was causing quite a bit of problems in the ward cannibalizing other ghouls. Those two have always been pretty evenly matched. Lucky they never killed each other.”

The most surprising part of all that was hearing that Renji had been a cannibal. HAD been. That had been in the past and didn't happen much nowadays Itori explained.

“Sooo!” The woman turned towards me and leaned closer to speak quietly as we looked over a rack of clothes. She kept her voice down so passerby's wouldn’t overhear. “You give up on human men and try out ghoul yet?”

“Try out ghoul?”  
The woman’s grin widened and she giggled as a look of comprehension started to dawn on my face. “You knoooow!”   
“What! No!” I whisper yelled over a pair of jeans I tugged in front of my face to hide my embarrassment. At this point I looked around us to see if anybody was overhearing our conversation. Somehow I was more worried about someone overhearing about Itori talk about my sex life than the history of Renji and Uta as young ghoul children. My sex life as it were was a complete void of activity and I hadn’t much planned to change that yet. “Well, why not!?” Itori said, rolling her eyes. “You’re not still denying that was a date, are you?”

“It wasn’t!”  
“It was! And I am done hearing you both deny it!” She leaned back and put her hands on her hips. “How was that not romantic? And I can tell you spend a lot of time with him because his scent isn’t the only thing that transfers from person to person! He smells a bit like you as of late. In fact the other night at the meeting he smelled a LOT like you. Plus, I caught you sleeping over at least twice now! You were even wearing his clothes!” Itori sounded like she’d just won her argument; at least in her own head.

“I slept on the couch!” I argued; neglecting to tell her that one such time we had fallen asleep there together.  
“He’s making you sleep on the couch?” She lifted her eyebrow. “That monster…”

“And it’s only so I don’t have to walk home in the dark. No other reason!”

The woman laughed as though I told a joke. “Honestly, Ai-chan! Don’t you think he could just walk you home by himself if he wanted? You don’t need to stay! Nobody in that ward will mess with you if you’re with him. Hell, by now they might leave you alone just out of fear of retribution.”

I honestly didn’t have much to say to that. No argument to get myself out of it. It probably was true that Uta could easily take me home instead of insisting that I stay in his home. It wouldn’t even take that long. If what Itori said was true, I would even be safe alone since everyone was getting the word around that I ‘belonged’ to Uta. The ones making it dangerous right now was the Aogiri Tree who seemed like they would care very little about who they pissed off.   
Power in numbers and all that.

“Anyway…” Itori pushed the subject. “I can tell you like him. So... “ She held up a dark purple blouse and modeled it; holding it up to herself. “Why not get something cute for your next date! Oh! What about this!” She held up a light grey shirt that was cut to show off a ladies shoulders and neck while covering their arms with flowing material. “It’s cute!” Itori said cheerfully as she held it up in front of me and leaned back to get a view of it. “Try it on!”

And so began the parade of clothes I had to try on.  
At the end of the long parade I held a few square paper shopping bags at my side as we exited. My hoodie was stuffed into one such bag and a new black coat with red fur lining was wrapped warmly around myself. I hadn’t made much headway on a gift for Uta - but I helped pick out some party supplies like streamers and balloons. We had decided that Itori would set up her bar with them when the time came.

“Aika…” I heard from beside me. It was more quiet and subdue than she’d been all day. The woman's expression was something I hadn’t expected from her. Almost downcast. “I know you two are getting close. But I hope that you don’t judge him too harshly when you find out anything...unpleasant about him. We’re not exactly angels you know…”

I took a moment to study her. The way her eyes didn’t, or couldn’t, focus on me as mine focused on her. There were secrets held but left unspoken because they were not her secrets to tell. It was a similar look Renji had on his face in the subway when he told me to be careful with Uta.

“I know.” I said gently, gaining her attention. “You guys are ghouls, but moreover: you are just people. People aren't angels. Perfect people don’t exist. Before I met him I was low-key terrified of ghouls. In the back of my head I thought you might be monsters. But now I think you’ve got the wrong impression of me if you think I was an ‘angel’. Afterall I’m friends with quite a few ghouls now. Aren't I?” I glanced around and saw we were alone on this portion of street. “I’m not sure what he has or hasn’t shared…But I’ve accepted a few things into my life I never thought I would. Let alone that I could be capable of accepting them…”

“I’m human. And I’m selfish. I’m willing to accept that he kills to eat because I can’t accept the alternative. I’m unwilling to lose a friend. The same with the rest of you too. I suppose as long as nobody I care about dies - then I am at peace with that.” 

I took a long deep breath in, held it and then let it go in a gust. “It’s taken me nearly a month to figure that out though. I think that I’m okay with being a little selfish and long as I can keep the people I care about near me! Because they make me happy and life worth living. And I’ve had a lot more fun recently! That’s all that matters, right? So whatever he does - or done - I guess I’ll just have to move forward with it. And he’ll tell me or not whenever he feels like it…”

“Uh, sorry I started to ramble on didn’t I?”  
“Like Renji when he gets drunk...but that’s okay.” The woman's smile came back to her face, more subdued than before but lighter; like a weight had been lifted. She spoke gently, looking forward down the street as we walked closer to my home. “I can see why he likes you. U-kun likes to say we have to wear a mask that we never take off. I guess he enjoys taking that “mask’ off around you. A human. It doesn't hurt that you are pretty…”

“Me?” I shook my head. “You’re the pretty one...when he first brought me to the bar and I saw you I guess I thought maybe you and him….” I trailed off and shrugged my shoulders as I admitted this to her. I heard her laugh before I glanced back up at her. “You know, when I was younger I thought I DID like him!” Itori said, smiling fondly as if looking back on a good memory. “But I guess that's something I grew out of…”

"You mentioned Renji. Have you found out why he smells like cats? Uta said…"   
I watched as a light sparked in her eyes and a new conversation started. "Oh! That! I have some theories!"


	24. Chapter 24: Shopping Continued

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We pick up where we left off with Itori and Aika shopping!~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Sorry it took so long I was drawing something!)
> 
> As requested by commenter i will post the doodle at the end! It's not really related (but it is Uta)

Chapter 24

“I went to Renji’s place and he wouldn’t let me in! I think he might be harboring some kittens.” Itori smirked and waggled a finger in the air. “Buuuut. That’s not all he's been keeping from us! When I went I could smell a human too…”

“Alive. Renji-kun doesn't hunt as much anymore!~” Itori clarified as I glanced away awkwardly. I had assumed for a moment that: ‘yeah of course you might smell human at a ghoul's house’. They just might not be alive. I was a little embarrassed having assumed that a person might simply be food. At first people assumed the same about myself. Itori continued, completely unperturbed by my assumption. “Anyway! I think he’s keeping someone away from both Uta and myself! Haven't been able to look into it though while looking for info on Kaneki’s whereabouts…” The woman let out a long disappointed sigh.

“Oh! But YOU should ask him!” She turned and looked at me expectantly.

“I was thinking about it the other day, but…” But then Renji had pulled Itori out of the building and helped get me away from an awkward conversation happening right in front of Uta. I felt I had owed him enough then NOT to bring it up. “But Renji was trying to speed us along! Yeah. I know. Well; Next time!~ And that reminds me! You were wearing Uta’s clothes that morning! Soooo...what happened?”

“N-nothing happened!” I said, trying to head off any investigation into the event and ignore the woman’s raised eyebrows. The silver haired ghoul wasn’t here to save me this time.  
“Nothing?” She asked, sounding completely unconvinced.  
“Nothing.” I waved my hands dismissively. “I just took a shower and needed something clean to wear. I smelled like bleach and I felt gross after handling human meat and stuffing myself into a cramped cupboard…it was a long day and I was really just..exhausted.” I let out a tired sigh and looked down towards the ground. I had been very lucky and gotten off easy considering that we had eyepatch kidnapped and Nico could have decided to kill me.

“Oh...I’m sorry.” The female ghoul shot me an apologetic smile. “I guess I forgot that was the day after the cafe got all messed up wasn’t it? Still. It was very cute, those pants were way too big for you! By now I’m sure everyone thinks you two are an inseparable couple! You won’t be able to escape this!~”

“Isn’t that...weird?” I asked, not feeling like correcting her again about our so called dates or non-dating status. I was simply concerned hearing that everyone would think we were a couple and what sort of reaction that might spark if the wrong people heard about it.

“Hum? What’s weird?”  
I awkwardly glanced anywhere but the ghoul to look around for another shop we could distract ourselves in. “A human and a ghoul...you know, together. It’s odd enough that we’re friends, isn’t it? I can’t imagine what people would think of….anything more than that.” I fiddled with the grips of my shopping bags, nearly unwinding the twine handles.

“Yeah...I suppose.” Itori said slowly, thinking it over as she answered me. “It is a bit strange. Not unheard of though. His friends like me and Renji-kun will just want him to be happy. But there’s always going to be ghouls who will think it’s completely outlandish for a ghoul to like their ‘food’. With Humans that's a whole other story. You've a whole law against ghouls and harboring us away from the Doves. Pretty sure that includes loving them. It even comes with a death sentence of your own if I remember correctly. So that should make it pretty obvious how they’d react...”

“And...It’s not like you two could have kids. So no family.”  
I flushed pink as she sped ahead into a future that didn’t, and might never exist. She was getting way ahead of anything I was thinking! Right now I was just entertaining the thought of asking him to go on a date; a real one. “---not unless there’s some miracle baby. Can’t say that’s NEVER happened since there are a few rare one-eyed ghouls out there. But you mentioned you never wanted any children anyway. So I suppose that works out!”

True...But what about him? What if he did…? I stopped thinking about that right away, brushing it from my mind like swatting an annoying fly. Itori was bringing up thoughts that didn't need to be considered at all! That was WAY, WAY too far ahead to even consider! The only thing that should concern me now was if ghouls and humans were incompatible to begin with.

“He likes you, you know.” Itori said gently, breaking me out of my thoughts. She waved a hand and sighed rather dramatically. “You can both argue it wasn’t a date - but you can’t argue that. He wouldn’t keep you around if he didn’t enjoy your company. Definitely wouldn’t give you a weapon that could be used to hurt him either.” My hand drifted to feel the pocket where my small dagger was stored away 'just in case'. “He asked me for it when he met us at the bar. At first I thought he wanted it melted down for more piercings or something but...he said it was for you.” I looked up to the ghoul, studying her expression. She looked like she was thinking of some distant thing and imagining it in her minds eye.

“We grew up here...in the 4th ward. It’s probably hard to imagine, and you’ve heard it before but it was even worse back then. There’s not really a ‘good’ place for a ghoul to live. Just less bad. Anteiku helps some ghouls, but it’s not a fix-all. You have to understand that most ghouls will feel, at best, rather bitter towards humans. No matter how much we try to explain I doubt you’d entirely understand…”

I thought of Touka immediately. The girl wasn't completely unkind, but she was the definition of 'bitter'. As much as I wanted to empathize with my ghoul friends; I knew I couldn’t. Truly, all I could do was sympathize. Understanding from a distant point of view- rather than from their shoes. “You’re right, I'm not a ghoul. I can’t. Not anymore than you could about my life. It’s like trying to describe cake to Uta. I can see my attempts fly right over his head. He clearly doesn't understand but he still likes hearing about it. Says it’s interesting.” I frowned, feeling disappointed with myself. 

I heard her chuckle at my comparison. “Still, don't misunderstand or pout like that! I’m not faulting you for not completely understanding. You stand by us. You don’t flinch like a frightened deer when we move; like we’ll bite any second. You are apparently even okay with him eating in the same room. Or that’s what he’s told us. And I’ve seen you blindfolded in a room with him for hours!” Her voice turned towards a teasing note before continuing with a smile. “...it's a far cry from some other humans. Even some so-called ‘ghoul supporters’ seem nervous around us when we meet face to face.”

I smiled faintly because Uta talked about me to his friends. I ignored her humored expression when talking about being blindfolded. “Of course. You guys are my friends, right? And don't get me wrong; there’s still things that make me nervous. Ghouls I don’t know, who might not be so friendly towards me for instance. But then again other humans also make me nervous too if I don't know them yet. I suppose that's not much different. Also, I do not enjoy being around him if he eats his food when it’s still ‘people shaped’.”

Itori smirked, a little glimmer in her eyes. “Oh? Well he asked me for some tupperware before. He's been cutting up his food recently, hasn’t he?”

I was about to mention the mugger, the torso and arms but I remembered the last time I’d looked in the fridge there had just been Tupperware bins full of unidentifiable meat. It hadn't struck me before that that might not be Uta's norm. “Yeah...Now that you mention it…” I said slowly, confused. "Does he normally do that? Before it was just...uh. Chunks." I felt a bit sick and grimaced.

"Anytime I've been over he just quartered it up and stuffed it into his fridge. Pretty lazy about it honestly. Guess he changed it up for some reason!~" Itori smirked smugly; point proven and left me wondering if he had really changed to cutting it up nice and neat for my benefit.

♥

“Here we are! Put all that down on the counter there! Anywhere is fine. It’s just going to be us!” Itori said while pulling a pair of glasses down from her bar's cupboards. When I was about to argue that I didn’t need a drink she waved the complaint away. “On the house!~ You really should come by more often! I need a girlfriend to hang out with sometimes! Ren and Uta are great and all but I need another girl to hang with! Nico doesn't quite count, but don’t tell him that!~!”

I chuckled and took a drink that was slid in front of me soon after. I looked at the colorful drink she handed me curiously. It was a gradient from yellows and oranges to pink. “This is…?”

“Strawberry Lemonade Vodka! Don’t ask me what it tastes like, I don’t know! But people seem to like it...and it’s kind of pretty.” The ghoul sipped at a wineglass of blood and sighed softly; content and happy.  
“Lemonade is bittersweet normally.” I said, still looking at the colorful drink. Taking a sip I found that the alcoholic version was also bittersweet but enjoyable. “...does blood get you guys drunk or something?” I nodded to the glass in her hand.

“Hum, oh this? It’s blood wine.” The ghoul swirled the liquid in the glass and smiled across the bar. “It’s not fresh. We can’t drink ‘normal’ alcohol any more than we can eat your food. The same way humans ferment grape juice to make wine we take blood and make it blood wine. It has the same effect on us as alcohol. It’s rather popular.”

We began looking over the decorations we’d gotten for the party we could be throwing for Uta. There were a few things we would still need, but I promised to pick them up and have them here so she didn’t need to supply a thing for the party. She told me that they’d almost never actually had a party for a birthday between the three of them. Other things were celebrated like holidays. Those times they spent a lot of time here drinking within their group; but not really birthdays except on rare occasions.

“Well, by the time we throw a party it might end up being Christmas or New years anyway…I want to throw him one, but everyone is busy now. Getting Eyepatch back is priority number one. After that we can throw it…” I was sad that it had to wait and disappointed that I’d not known sooner; but there would be a party.

“Hey, Itori-chan...do you sell those bottles of blood?” I said, pointing at the bottle she’d poured her glass from. The ghoul, looked at the bottle and then myself. “Well, yes. Of course. If someone wants to buy the whole bottle I can sell it.”  
“Can I buy one?”  
“...For Uta?”  
“Of course for Uta. I’m not drinking it.” I said, smiling humorously. “Being around Uta hasn’t made me a cannibal.”  
“Well…” She seemed a little unsure but pulled out a bottle anyway. “I’ve never sold one of these to a human before. It’s a bit expensive though. Unfortunately I can’t give you this on the house...” I peered at the bottle being held. The glass was dark and hard to see through and the label just looked like a regular wine label. A nice disguise for the drink.

“16,000 yen…” Yeah. That WAS expensive. Very expensive. Then again, it wasn’t too far off the price of a REALLY good human wine; and it was made of blood which was already an expensive ‘product’ in the medical field. I pulled out my wallet and put the money on the counter. That was most of my ‘extra’ cash I’d had, only a few yen left over. However, a plan for a gift for Uta was formulating in my mind now! I just had to talk to Mr. Yoshimura tomorrow…  
“Alright then, It’s yours.”

“Don’t tell him I bought it here tonight, Okay?” I said taking the bottle and hiding it down in one of my other shopping bags. “I’ll give it to him in a few days. I just want to get a few other things first.”

“Mums the word!” She made a funny ‘zipping the lips’ movement and grinned at me as I stowed away the expensive gift.

♥

Itori brought me back to the subway station and waved as the train took off towards the 4th ward. I’d text Uta, telling him I was headed back and he promised to meet me at the station. When I got off the subway and looked around I spotted the goth ghoul and Bjorn and called out. “Uta-kun!”

Bjorn perked up immediately and stared at me as I approached; his tail battering Uta’s knees. Uta was wearing some long sleeved shirt, his beanie and some skinny jeans today. He’d even swapped out his clog like shoes for a pair of black boots. “New coat?” Uta asked right away, looking at the soft red tuffs of fluff around my hooded jacket. “Yes! It was getting cold and I only had a hoodie before.” I spun a small circle to let him get a good look. “It looks alright, doesn't it? With this I shouldn’t freeze if you want to drag me up a huge building again!”

“It looks nice. And you look warmer than before...”

I held my bags close to my sides hoping he’d not be able to tell what was in them and wouldn’t become too curious about it. “Itori dragged me out shopping. But it wasn’t so bad. I think I’d like to do that again. AND she even resisted getting me completely drunk!” At the moment I only had a slight buzz that made me feel lighter and more loose. I actually considered the idea that she just wanted to practice making drinks for humans more often because each time she gave me a new and more colorful drink. Only once had I had to tell her it was too strong.

“Do you want to come over to watch another movie?” Uta asked, looking hopeful. “I have to go really early to see Yoshimura and the cafe tomorrow to help with the cleanup.” I hated that I had to say no to him, especially seeing his face fall to it’s usual expressionless gaze. “Oh. Okay then.”

“Tomorrow night if you want though…!” I added quickly. “After I get back from helping out there I’d love to come over for a movie. Or maybe we could even go to a theater!” I realized a split second too late that---sounded like asking him out on a date. Was I asking him on a date? Yeah, I decided. I totally was. Just without telling him explicitly that it was a date.

“There was a book by Takatsuki Sen they recently adapted into a movie I’d be interested in seeing…it's still in the theaters.” The ghoul said after a moment's pause.

“Yeah? Well let's go see it then!”

“Tomorrow.” 

“Yeah. Tomorrow.” I confirmed, finally leaning down to give Bjorn the attention he wanted so badly. While I hugged the pups big head my ghoul companion stood up from his bench and stretched out his limbs. “Alright, let me walk you home at least.”

"Of course, thank you Uta for coming to pick me up.”

“Bjorn was itching to get outside...he didn’t want me to hold the leash though…” The ghoul nodded at the leash, laid across the giant dogs back. “But he stayed with me…”

“He does that.” I shrugged. “I normally walk him like that anyway. If he wanted to run he’s gonna run. Do I look strong enough to stop that?”  
“You have before. When he tried to maul me.” Uta grinned, reminding me of the time when I’d only just met him. That felt like ages ago. “You barely got him to stop, but you did.” I laughed, starting to walk towards home with my ghoul friend and faithful companion. “Yeah, he really wanted to sink his teeth into you! But he was listening more to my command to stop than my yanking on the leash. He could pull me around like a kite if he wanted.”

“Do you want me to carry anything?” Uta held out a hand, offering to hold my bags. I shook my head sharply; and maybe a bit too quickly to be ‘normal’. Regardless of what he made of it, he let his hand fall back to his side and cocked his head curiously. “N-no! I’m fine! They’re not heavy!” I said, smiling and tried to redirect the conversation away from the bags in my hands. “Anyway, how was your day? Did you get a lot of the masks done?”

“Hum. Well I got the one mold done and there’s a mask drying in it now. A second mold is setting now so I’ll make two or three at a time. They should all be done in a few days. Tomorrow I’ll have to paint the first of them and start attaching them to the straps. Hinami’s mask is going much better though. It’s more fun to make. I hope she’ll like it. The feathers are getting everywhere though.” He gestured at his clothes. “I had to change my outfit before leaving the shop. I was covered in yellow feathers…”

“Can’t be any worse than the glitter!” I laughed as I remembered I was still taking glitter back to my own apartment on the bottoms of my shoes. “True. I’m still finding glitter everywhere…”  
“You will be for years.” I giggled, drawing the attention of a few older passersby who shot us both a ‘knowing’ smile. 

“It seems like you enjoyed your time with Itori. You were worried girl-talk would ‘kill’ you.” Uta asked me, smirking at my over dramatic statement. It hadn’t killed me to hang out with her and he was right; I had enjoyed it. I rolled my eyes and shrugged my shoulders. “I really thought she’d pester me more about...um. Stuff. But she really didn’t interrogate me too badly.”

“Stuff?” Uta asked; eyebrows raised above his thick dark sunglasses.  
“Um, girl talk I guess. Like if I liked anybody, my relationship status. That junk. There wasn’t much to tell her anyway.” As much as I just wanted to stare at the ground and maybe even melt into a puddle, I forced myself to keep my eyes on Uta’s expression. Unfortunately, I was completely sure that Uta would beat me at poker if we ever played. His expression and tone of voice was amazingly blank and dull. “Oh? Don’t like anybody? Ah, I remember you said you’d given up dating...” I would have argued that it looked and sounded like he didn’t really care about the question at all; but why was he asking? 

“Well I didn’t say I don’t like anybody. I just said that there wasn’t much to say about it.” I said, trying to lure out more of a response from the ghoul. But I was disappointed when the ghoul broke ‘eye’ contact and watched the road ahead of us as we walked.  
“Someone from Anteiku? Or a customer...Do I know them?”

I squinted at the male ghoul as he began to question who I liked.  
...are men dumb?  
Was he purposefully asking these questions to feel out the answer...or was it just not clicking for him? Maybe I was being more subtle than I thought. Uta always seemed pretty smart, but I supposed even he could be selectively dumb or purposefully ignore things. I wanted to yell at him: ‘You. You big dumb. It’s you.’ but clearly that wasn’t an option I could take without then burying myself under 6 feet of dirt and opting to die. “No and no...are you planning on interrogating me more than Itori did?” I tried to laugh it off.

“A ghoul?” Uta asked, ignoring my own question.

“I see you ARE going to interrogate me.” I sighed and began to get worried. Maybe it wasn’t Itori’s questions I should have watched out for. The other woman had picked up on my ‘crush’ long before even I had. Itori had told me that he liked me and convinced me enough to try to nudge the man a little; but what if she was wrong? “Where’s the interest coming from?”

“Shuu?” He continued his questioning; ignoring my own again.

“What?! No!” That threw me for a loop and shocked me. The thought of Shuu and me...!? Ick! I grimaced as I finally answered a question of his. “Ew, no!”

“Ew?” Uta asked; finally breaking his steady gaze ahead of us to watch me again. He gazed at me so intently I thought I could feel his eyes on me searching for every reaction I made.  
“Yeah, ew. He’s so..." I struggled for the words for a few moments. "I know we both came from the same social class and all, but I hope to hell I don’t act nearly as posh and snobby as he does…”  
“You don’t.” Uta answered with a small smile forming on his face again. “It’s not 'ew' because he’s a ghoul?”

“No Uta; not because he’s a ghoul.” I answered, frowning.  
“So you would date a ghoul?”

“I...suppose.” I narrowed my eyes up at him suspiciously.” Yeah. I might! But you didn't answer me. Why are you so interested?" And would he date a human?

“...no reason. Here we are.” I looked away from Uta to find myself standing in front of my apartment door with Bjron waiting to get back in. “Uta!” I said loudly, hands on my hips. This conversation wasn’t done but he was already walking away; waving over his shoulder as he headed back to his own home. I could hear the grin in his voice as he called back to me. “See ya tomorrow Ai-chan!~”

I sighed, giving up and unlocked my door to let in Bjorn and myself. The bottle of blood was the first thing to be taken from my bags and shoved to the back of my fridge. It was surrounded by other foods to hide it just in case someone did look.

The new clothes I’d gotten today were set aside and put into a folded ‘outfit’ for tomorrow. I’d dress up tomorrow. Maybe even apply some make up. Maybe if I did that he’d get the clues? Leaning over Bjorn I scratched his head and muttered into his ears my doubts. “I don’t know Bjorn buddy. Is this dumb, am I being dumb? What am I even doing...”  
There were probably plenty of intelligent reasons to NOT date a ghoul…

He could still say no. We could just stay friends...that would be fine.

Bjorn wiggled away from my grip and slid his tongue across my face like a moist, slobbery mop. “Ew! Gross dude!” I giggled, and grinned as Bjron jumped back and wiggled his butt in the air; ready to play. “Okay! You wanna play!!!”

♥

The next morning I woke up very early, got around in some of my usual clothes rather than my nicer set because I’d be cleaning for the first part of the day. I didn’t want to dirty either my nice new clothes or my nice uniform for work. There weren't any customers there anyway.

I made a phone call to the manager hoping that I hadn't called too early or too late. “Mr. Yoshimura, It's me Aika!”

“Ah, hello! I expected your call! How are you doing Ms. Aika?"

"Good. I'm fine. You wanted me to call before I went in to help clean up. Does it matter what I wear, I don't want to mess up my uniform."

"Oh dear no. Wear whatever you please. Is Uta coming with you?" I paused having not even considered that. "I don't think so? I hadn't asked him…but he's got a lot to work on. I'll just come over by myself!"

"Be careful then."  
"Yes Sir! I'm on my way now! I’ll see you in a little while!"

I hung up the phone and started out the door of my apartment. Looking back into the room Bjorn was happily gnawing on a bone. "Be a good boy!” I made my way quickly towards the subway, glancing briefly towards Uta’s shop as I passed. A ‘closed’ sign still hung on the outside of the shop. I could barge in and greet the ghoul who worked there, but I wanted to leave him to his devices. He had so much to work on - and so little time. I was already going to be taking up his evening.

Passing the shop I headed quickly towards the subway with only thoughts of how much I could get done by noon dancing through my head. A block from the train I stopped and looked around because I was getting that ‘being watched’ sense at the back of my head again. I turned my head and opened my mouth to scream at the figure standing only a few feet from myself. All I could see in my immediate vision was the unfamiliar mask. A hand clamped down over my mouth muting the noise.

I dug my hand into my coat pocket and brought it up quickly with the hidden blade.  
“Don’t scream! Ai-chan. It’s me!” I heard the voice and grunt of pain and froze seeing blood already dripping down the length of the blade. Underneath the white bird like mask was a pale throat and familiar “Nex” of a latin tattoo.  
“...U-uta?!” I stuttered as the hand over my mouth was lowered away. I was close to tears as I dropped the blade immediately and it clattered the ground. Reaching my hands up, I held the dripping wound in his neck as though that might stop it from leaking further. “Well...that hurt.” The man muttered and leaned over me, planting his hands on a wall behind me. “Didn’t think I’d scare you that badly…sorry.”

“Yourneckyourneck…” I blubbered. “I’m so sorry, you scared me. I thought. I didn’t recognise your mask...” His hands raised up and covered my own. “It’s okay, look…” He pulled my hands away, still holding them. “It’s already healed. You barely nicked me. It’s my fault. Good reflexes though Ai-chan...Ren should have fun training you...”

“What did you think you were doing!” I hissed, finally feeling angry that he’d jumped out and thought it was a good idea to begin with. “ Wanted to make sure you got to the subway alright.”

“I was fine until a certain ghoul jumped out and scared the daylights out of me!”  
“Sorry Ai-chan…”

I looked at my hands covered in blood. “Jesus...I look like I stabbed someone…”  
“You did…” Uta chuckled behind his mask. He released my hands and leaned down to pick up my dropped knife. He wiped it and tucked it into one of my coat pockets. “Idiot!” I wiped my hands down the front of his shirt. “Hey!” He outcried as I smeared his own blood across his shirt; more than had already dripped down onto it.  
“I can’t walk around with bloody hands! Serves you right scaring me like that. I need to head in before Yoshimura starts worrying about me. Head back to the shop and finish up those masks as fast as possible. And don’t DO that again!”

“Everybody needs a good scare sometimes!” Uta laughed at me from behind his mask. “What if I’d stabbed deeper!?” I argued stubbornly.  
“I’d heal. I’m alright…go on. Run, I see the subways here. I’ll see you later…”

I turned, seeing he was right and bolted to get to the right subway so I wouldn’t miss it. When I turned back at the doorway I couldn’t see Uta where I’d left him. Once I was on the train I let out a long sigh and sat myself down. I searched, making sure I didn’t have any blood on me. I found there were a few droplets on my sleeves. I tucked it away and make sure to keep it hidden while around the other humans.

In front of the shop Mr Yoshimura was watering some plants. He looked up as I approached and smiled kindly. “Ah, Ms. Aika. It’s good to see you. Did you get here alright?”

“Yeah, for the most part. Uta likes his pranks though…” I saw the mans eyebrows lift a tiny fraction. “Oh? Are you alright? He didn’t hurt you did he?”  
“What? No! I’m fine.” I held up my hands and tried to reassure the old man. “He just snuck up on me on the way and tried to scare me. It worked...but I kinda er...stabbed him.”

“Ah, that explains why you smell like ghoul blood right now…”  
“What!? Do I?” I unfolded the sleeve to show the couple drops that had fallen there. “Damn it. I really can’t go anywhere without him leaving his scent on me can I?”  
The old man chuckled gently and waved me towards the front door. “Come inside Dear, I’ll show you what you can work on.”

I got to look around and see just what a mess had been created. In one room the whole room was splattered in dark and now well dried blood. I covered my house and stared at it all in horror. “Ms Aika...? Are you alright?”  
“This is...horrible. How is he even alive? There so much blood…” I felt a hand placed gently on my shoulder and turned to see his ever present kindly smile. “Don’t worry so much Aika, he’s a ghoul. Even half he’ll be fine from a bit of blood loss. But how about you start by trying to sweep up all the glass; careful not to cut yourself on it though dear.”

I nodded my head, still dizzy looking at all the blood splatters across the room. “Y-yeah. Sure.”  
The glass that happened was very much like glitter. The window had exploded in all directions when it had been smashed and I was finding shards everywhere. I cut myself once on my hand before I just stopped trying to touch anything at all inthe room. I was afraid to even try and sit on the couch until I was able to clean every inch of the room.

I took a deep breath in and out as I looked over the floor. I could see no more shards on the hardwood floors and the rug was shaken out and back in its place; completely glass free.

“Ms. Aika, take a moment's rest. I’ll make you a cup of coffee.” I heard the old man call from down stairs. I placed the broom leaning against the corner and headed down the stairs to meet with the manager. “Sit down dear and relax.”

He was slowly pouring boiling water over coffee grounds letting it seep through and made the delicious coffee he was known for. “Ms. Aika, I’ll tell you a bit of a secret if you keep it to yourself.” I looked up from the pot of coffee with wide eyes. “Y-yes sir, sure…”  
“Don’t tell anyone, but when I was much younger, closer to your age, I had a human wife. I used to do much the same thing with her…”

“Sir?” I asked, confused as to what he meant. “Ah, you mentioned earlier you couldn’t go anywhere without his scent. I always made sure she had my scent on her.” He clarified, smiling faintly. “I’m not sure she ever realized why. I don’t know what your relationship with Uta is but it seems like he cares about you. You’ve come to work smelling like him quite a lot.” My cheeks flared up pink as I realized what he meant. “O-oh! I hadn’t meant to!”

“It’s alright.” Yoshimura laughed gently. “It’s alright dear.”

“Um...sir. Can I ask a favor?”  
“Hum? What is it?” He mixed in sugar and milk with my cup of coffee and slid it across the table to me. Nervously, I tried to think of how to ask for what I wanted.  
“Well..The ghouls who work here work for their food right?”

“Yes, they work here and get food they require.”  
I took a deep breath and bowed my head to the table top. “C-can I request that you take some money out of my pay in exchange for some eyes…”  
There was a long moment of silence where I could hear my pulse in my throat.  
“Eyes?” He finally asked and I looked up to meet his gaze. I could see I had thoroughly confused the old man. Who could blame him for being shocked; a human was asking for human body parts. “What is this for…?”  
“Uta.” I answered, a small nervous smile on my face. “He likes them...It was his birthday and I kind of missed it...but I wanted to bring him things he can eat. I already bought him blood wine...but his favorite snack is eyes. I thought with the way you guys eat here at Anteiku there was a chance you’d have some.”

“Ah, I see...Well. I suppose there’s no harm in it. However, I want something in exchange. Not money from your pay. Just answer a question for me.” He held up a hand to quiet my protest that I’d pay for them; like I had the wine. 

“S-sure…?” I said; uncertainty creeping into my voice.  
“What is your relationship with Uta?”  
“I...don’t know.” I answered, completely truthfully. “I really don’t…I like him. I really like him…”

Mr. Yoshimura smiled faintly and nodded. “Alright, I suppose that's a good enough answer for me. You kids should figure it out though....I’ll get you some eyes to bring home with you tonight if you want.”

“Really?” I perked up, happy to hear he was actually going to be giving me my requested ‘food’ for Uta. He nodded and smiled. “Drink up your Coffee, I’ll fetch you the bleach you need for the rest of the room.”

♥

By 5pm I felt completely worn out and even I could smell the scent of bleach burning my inner nose hairs. It wasn’t perfect and the paint would have to be redone, but I had gotten most of the blood from the walls and ceiling. 

“That’s enough Ms. Aika…it will be getting dark in a few hours. You should head home before then.” A gentle hand patted my shoulder. Looking over my shoulder I found the old man standing there, wrinkling his nose at the scent. “Smells terrible doesn't it? Uta hates it too...” I muttered. “I’ve gotta take the longest shower before I see him tonight…”

“Yes, it’s quite a strong scent. It looks much better...Touka will be coming in tomorrow to help clean as well. I’m sending her to buy some paint for the walls and some wood polish in the morning. You’re welcome to come in again if you want, but I don’t expect you too.”

He held out an envelope and an opaque glass jar. Inside swam at least a dozen glassy staring eyes. “Your check for the week and as you requested; eyes. I’ll get you a bag to carry it home in so nobody asks any questions.”

“Thank you sir! It means alot!”  
“I hope he enjoys them. Have a safe trip home.”

Once the jar was stuffed into a dark paper bag and covered I headed out the front door and straight towards the subway to catch a train back home. I gently hummed, happy to be out in the fresh air once again.  
When I got home I sent Uta a text saying I was back and getting around for our trip to the theater; exempting the word ‘date’. I put the jar in my fridge and dropped my phone onto my bed. I climbed out of my smelly clothes and tossed them into the laundry bin. I scrubbed extra hard and took off a few layers of skin trying to get the smell of bleach completely off me. It was replaced with the smell of wild flowers and cedar. I made sure to shave, exfoliate and shine myself up the best I could. 

When I got out and dried myself off I dressed up nice in my new clothes. A nice red dress that flowed to my knees that Itori had picked out and insisted I looked good in paired with some dark black leggings to keep me warm. Over top I picked a slim cut blazer. For shoes I choose a pair of high heeled, ankle high boots I rarely ever wore. Once I approved of my outfit I started working on my hair and make up…

Hair was put up with braids. A couple strands fell by the sides of my face and framed it nicely. For make up I went light. Just a thin layer of coverup and red and black eyeliner and a very small amount of lip gloss. I didn’t want to over do it…

I took a step back from the mirror and smiled faintly. It had been years since I’d seen myself made up like this. Regardless, the make up I’d chosen was still a far cry from the shimmery makeup I’d had as a ‘kid’. It looked darker. I kind of liked it. Turning my head from side to side I tried to look at every angle. I looked pretty okay! I approved; here’s to hoping Uta did too.

“Well Bjorn? How do I look?”

He barked his approval, or disapproval. Who knows.  
“Well you're a dog, what do you know!” I chuckled, patting his head.

Aika: On my way over, okay?  
Uta: Okay, wait in the shop, doors unlocked. I’ll be there in a minute.  
Aika: 👍

I headed out, walking towards the shop and letting myself in. As promised the ghoul wasn’t anywhere to be seen so I just wandered around making my way to the desk where he had the newly formed resin mask; first of its kind.

“Ai--ch…” I blinked, looking up to spot Uta momentarily frozen in the doorway that led to his apartment. “Aika. You look...good.” He said, unfreezing and moving towards me while his eyes lingered on my new clothing style. My eyes landed on his own style choice. I hadn’t given him the memo that this was a ‘date’ but he wasn't disappointing. He wore a pair of skinny jeans; same as earlier but his top had changed to a deep bloody red long sleeve turtle neck with his usual cardigan. He’d opted not to wear a beanie. The splash of color really brought the outfit together and it wasn’t terrible that we incidentally matched rather well.

“You like?” I asked; uncertain.

“Definitely yes...”

“Itori helped pick out the dress...I wasn’t very sure about it.”  
“She’s got excellent taste...”

“How’s your neck!” I asked, reaching to pull the fabric of his turtleneck away and brush my fingers across where I’d stabbed earlier. There wasn’t a visible mark that I could see. “I am really sorry…” He placed a hand over my own and shrugged his shoulders.  
“It’s my fault. Shouldn’t have surprised you in a mask you didn’t know…I’ll admit I wanted to see how you’d react. I’m actually happy you reacted like that…”

I exhaled and frowned up at him. “You’re happy my first response at being surprised is to stab!”

“Stab a ghoul in a mask...yes. You should stab them if they come up like that. Always.”  
“Right. Okay...I suppose you’re right. But don’t do that again. I was afraid I’d actually hurt you. Anyway, are we going to make the 7 o’clock showing?”

“Sure we will, if we leave now.”

♥

“Where did this come from?” I asked as I was stepping into a car that looked rather firmilar. “Uta did you take this from Renji-kun?”  
“Borrowed.” Uta said, a grin on his face as he said it. “Borrowed with permission?” I shot Uta a wide-eyed stare.

“...he’ll be fine without it for a night.”

“Uta that doesn't answer the question!” To this the male just laughed and started up the car with a small roar from the engine. “Uta, I’m telling him where it will be so he can pick it up later. We can take the train back!”

“Fine, fine. He can pick it up at the theater!” I sighed and pulled out my phone. “And now I understand a little why he’d fight you!” Uta leaned over my phone as I began to type. “Oh? Is he going to come fight me?”

“No! He’d better not! I want to see a movie not the two of you fighting tonight!” Despite myself I laughed at the grin that found it’s way to Uta's face. “Come on, just drive! I don’t want him stopping us halfway there either!”

Aika: Hey, you're probably wondering where your car is. Uta took it to bring me to the movies. Sending you the location you can pick it up. Sorry! Please don’t fight him!

I watched the message get sent, read and then the typing began.

Renji: ...of course he did. Fine. Thank you, Aika. Not tonight.

I chuckled, gaining a sideways glance from Uta. “Hum?”  
“He doesn't seem surprised you took it. Not mad either.” I leaned forward and touched the radio until it clicked on. “That’s a shame…” I shook my head and chuckled. “Am I that boring, you wanna go fight someone Uta?”

“No, you’re not boring. Promise.”

I started to hum gently, looking out the window as we flew past the wards borders and made it to a nicer area in three where a cozy little theater could be found. Uta parked in the back of the parking lot and pulled a pair of sunglasses out of a pocket. “Alright, here we are!”

I popped open the door and exited the vehicle; glancing around at the peaceful night and hoped it stayed that way. My ‘date’ stepped out and clicked the keys until the car let out a chirp saying it was locked. He leaned down and hid the keys up under the tire where someone else wouldn’t find it before walking around to my side.

Together we walked in and I headed for the ticket counter. “Which movie was it?”  
“There that one…” He pointed at the name for the cashier to see. “Ah, that one. Two tickets?”  
I nodded and slid money across the counter. “Here you are, I hope you two enjoy yourselves!”

“Come on.” I pulled the ghoul towards the snacks counter and grinned. “Can I get a small box of this... “ I pointed at a box of candy under the counter. “And a fountain soda and a bottle of water please.”

I stood and waited for my candy and my drink cup. When the bottle of water was slid across the counter I handed it to Uta and smiled at the genuine surprise that crossed his face. He could at least drink that. I filled my cup with a sugary orange soda before heading towards the theaters.

A man stood by the stairs up to the individual theaters taking tickets. I handed mine over and had it torn in half; handing half back to me. After Uta did the same I pointed down the hall. “Theater 4 is this way!”  
Once I got inside the room I was looking for a spot, away from other people to sit down. I picked a spot and reached to tug on Uta’s sleeve until he followed. It was pretty far forward and I’d have to crane my neck a little, but it also was in a spot where people were unlikely to see his eyes with nobody seated in front of us.

“Here, you can take off your sunglasses…” I whispered gently; smiling as he looked around to make sure. Seeing why I’d chosen this spot, he pulled off the glasses and grinned. “Thanks Ai-chan…”

We sat quietly, watching the trailers to upcoming movies for several minutes before the theater darkened down completely and the main feature started. 

What Uta hadn’t told me was how the author's works were often gorey and unsettling. The movie for the works wasn’t much different. There was at least one part that I jumped at and others that I cringed away from. I leaned closer, gently laying my cheek against his shoulder midway through the movie. He shifted and stretched forcing me to move away momentarily before wrapping the arm around the back of my chair. I resumed leaning on him and relaxed until the end of the movie. 

“That...was a lot bloodier than I thought it could be!” I chuckled gently. “Sorry. I didn’t really think about that. We can see another one that’s more...tame?” Uta stood and collected his empty bottle of water and waited for me to collect myself. I reached and yanked on his cardigan as he turned to move up the aisles of the theater. “Glasses.” I whisper-hissed at him before he could wander away where someone might spot his ‘unusual’ eyes.  
He searched one pocket, pouted and then searched another. Coming up empty he looked around his seat and found...nothing. “Can’t find them.” He finally admitted.

I looked too, bending down with my flashlight on my phone to look for them. I also could not find them. “Shit…” I cursed. “Think anybody will notice if we just beeline it out here?”  
“Going to have too…” The ghoul muttered. He was already double and triple checking his pockets.

I wrapped an arm around one of his and pulled him gently. “Come on, just keep your eyes down and don’t look at anybody. I doubt anybody will notice. And if they say anything they’re tattoos or contacts.”

With my heart hammering in my throat I walked the ghoul through a busy theater, through the lobby and out the front door. I continued until we reached a much less busy, but still public sidewalk. The car we had taken here was now missing meaning either someone stole it, or much more likely Renji had come to pick it up. 

“Think we could call him for a ride?” I chuckled.

“He might actually fight me if you do that.” Uta smiled despite himself. “Got your mask?”I nodded, it had been a tight fit but the mask fit into a purse. “I can carry you again.” Uta offered. “It will be faster and I won't have to worry about my eyes…”

♥

The ghoul got us back home in record time, for running at least. It always assounded me how long and how fast a ghoul could keep running. Regardless, I could see that he panted a little by the time we got home. “You could have taken a breather if I’m heavy Uta!”

“You’re not heavy, I’m just out of shape.”  
I gawked at him and almost laughed. What kind of shape did he want to be in if this was out of shape!? “If you’re out of shape what the hell am I?”  
“Perfect.” He said, smiling faintly. I scoffed and rolled my eyes. “...do you want to come in?” He pointed at his door where he’d stopped. “...hang out a little while?”

“Yeah, I do...but...walk me back to my house so I can pick up something and feed Bjorn. Can I bring him over? And change my clothes to something less dressy. I’ve got a surprise for you!”

The ghoul cocked his head, curiously at my promise of a surprise. “Alright then…but don’t bring Bjorn. I have a surprise for you. Kind of.”

I frowned because he said not to bring my dog, but if he didn’t want Bjorn to come over then I wouldn’t bring him. We walked to my apartment. I was nearly gitty at the prospect of giving him the two gifts together. The last part I had planned would wait until the party because I didn’t have the supplies or time yet to make it. "Okay, wait here I won't be too long!"

I stepped into my apartment and immediately started zipping around as quickly as I could. Bjorn was fed and snuggled and I changed my clothes. I left my makeup and hair done, thinking they still looked rather nice even when I wore a crop top and jeans instead of the dress.

I packed the jar of eyes and the bottled drink in the brown paper bag and peeked out the door again. Spotting Uta waiting for me I grinned. "Okay, now. Don’t peek in the bag.”

“That makes me want to peek in the bag…” He said, peering at the bag I held in my hand as I locked the door behind me. “No!”  
“Please.” He leaned closer to try to peek into the bags top. “No!” I said while squirming away from him, keeping my balance and giggling. “Don’t make me trip Uta! It’s fragile!” He stopped and backed off while holding his hands up in surrender; still grinning. “Alright. I’ll wait.”

It wasn’t until we had made it all the way into his apartment that I let the bag or the ghoul out of my sight. I kicked off my shoes and went to the coffee table. I set the brown bag down on the table and turned to him. Gently I patted the couch “Sit, sit!” 

He took off his shoes and came closer and sat down. I slid the bag closer to him and smiled, excited to see his reaction. He closed his eyes and reached into the bag pulling the long slender bottle of the wine out first. He cracked an eyelid at first and sat there blinking at the alcoholic blood. Of course he recognised it from Itori’s bar; he drank there all the time. Seeing the familiar bottle he looked shocked at first.  
“Did you get this from…?”

“Itori sold it to me when I asked. She seemed a little wary about selling it to a human though!” I laughed gently, and watched a mixture of emotions run across his face. He seemed mostly pleased. “There’s more, in the bag.” I pointed.  
He gently set it aside and leaned over the bag to search for the rest. Picking up the jar he held it up in front of his face and peered in. The eyes that bobbed inside peered back out at the ghoul. 

“...”

I frowned at the silence that followed. I took a step and tried to look around the jar that obscured his expression from me. Finally he spoke up again with awe and amazement touching his voice. “You got me food?” He lowered the jar and smiled up at me with wide, almost childlike eyes. “Yeah, of course. You like eyes...So I asked Yoshimura if I could earn some, I guess…” I shuffled in place and looked towards my own feet. “You like them, right?”

“...you got me food…” He muttered again, looking at the jar of human eyes again. He popped off the lid and plucked one of them out and popped it into his mouth; sighing with satisfaction as he popped the organ between his teeth. “...”

“Thank you Ai-chan...what is this for though?”  
“Oh! Your birthday. We didn’t have a party, but I sure as heck am not letting you get away without gifts!” Or a party. But that was a surprise for later! 

He got up and took the bottle of ‘wine’ and the jar of eyes to his fridge and placed them safely inside. I peered around him seeing his fridge was still mostly tupperware boxes; and also...much more empty than it had been before. He’d have to go hunting at some point…  
Something I’d rather not think about.

“I had a surprise for you too, kind of. Not as good as you surprise though. Bjorn couldn’t come over because he’d freak out.” As he came back from the kitchen he spotted my confused gaze. “My kagune. You wanted to see it?”

♥  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAH! Cliffhanger!~ :P


	25. Chapter 25: Kagune

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aika gets to see Uta's Kagune for a lil bit and chats a bit with someone in a familiar situation.

Chapter 25: Kagune

“Your Kagune…?” I blinked a few times; owlishly staring at the ghoul like he'd grown an extra head instead of offering to show me a kagune. His kagune! “Right! I asked about that before! I...honestly forgot completely after everything that’s happened. The attack on the cafe, Ken getting kidnapped, and you’ve been busy making masks...”

He shifted his weight to his other foot and pocketed his hands. “We've both been busy; and you helped. Does that mean you don’t want to see it anymore?”

“NO! I do!” I said, a little too enthusiastically. Immediately I became a little flustered by my over excited reaction. “S-sorry!” A corner of the ghouls lips twitched up into a ghost of a smirk. "Are you sure? I don't want to scare you away. Do you remember what I told you about mine?"

"Don't tell anybody about it. Annnnd It's a rinkaku. Right? It's at your waist?" I gestured, prodding at my own back.

Uta hummed a small sound of approval when I remembered. "...rinkaku form ‘tails’. For a start I'll just use one." He lifted the back hem of his shirt. Fascinated and transfixed in place I stared as a formless, almost liquid bubble of what looked like dark blood surged out of the skin of his lower back and coalesced into a long red 'tail' that curled around the room.

Regardless of my previous arguments that I wouldn't be afraid, I couldn't help but to freeze up and stare. Especially as I spotted the sharp claw-like hook at the end. I heard my name called gently and tore my gaze away from the Kagune to meet Uta's concerned expression. The ‘tail’ wasn’t the only change. "Ai-chan, are you okay? I'm not going to hurt you...do you want me to put it away?"

"N-no! I'm fine." I pushed myself up off the couch to stand. “Your eyes are different too…” When he tilted his head questioningly I explained. “There are...veins? They’re bright around your pupils and kind of spread out along the skin here.” I pointed around my eyelids where I saw the veins around his eyes. I turned back to continue watching the 'tail' as it seemed to twitch re-actively. "So is it like...another limb?"   
"Active Kakugan have veins around them. I suppose you can tell when someone is hungry or using their Kagune. Hum...Yeah. They are pretty much like extra limbs. It's under my control, you don't have to worry..."

He curled the tail closer to himself and then flexed it out again slowly to demonstrate. I began to notice that it was much different from the long tentacle that I'd seen come from the Doves sword. That had been smooth and thicker around. It had also only followed through with the man's swinging arm while this seemed much more...alive. That kind of made sense though. That had been a 'dead' limb without a body or mind hooked to it. This was just part of Uta. I took a step closer and peered at the indents and texture that ran along its length. 

"Do you mind if I…?" I reached with outstretched fingers indicating I wanted to touch. The ghoul cocked his head at me and stared. I worried I had asked for something rude; but as I pulled back my hand and started an apology, the tail flicked forward and hovered within my grasping range. "...You can. It's fine."

I stretched out my arm again and laid the tips of my fingers gently against the 'flesh' of the Kagune. "...warm…" I muttered and ran my fingers across the surface. A moment later I let out a small 'yip' as the tail twitched and a shiver shook up it’s length. "...S-sorry." I hear Uta say. I looked up seeing him looking away from myself, a faint blush dusting his cheeks. I was almost convinced it was a trick of the light because it was gone a split second later. "I’m used to fighting with it. This is very strange."

"You can feel this?" I experimentally ran my fingers across the surface again, watching his face this time. His eyes followed my fingers as I slid them across the surface of the extra limb and I thought I could see a tiny twitch in the muscles of his neck. "….yeah. I can."

“You really don’t mind me doing this? If you want me to stop I will...I don’t want to make you too uncomfortable.” I nodded at my hand, hovering over the Kagune. He shook his head. “If you ever see me fighting I don’t want you to feel afraid of me when seeing my Kagune...freezing up like you did a minute ago could cost you your life. And it’s not exactly uncomfortable at all Ai-chan. Only...very strange.” 

Uta took a few slow steps towards the couch and I pulled my hands away from the tail appendage as he moved. “Wait…” I stopped him before he had a chance to sit down. I took a few steps, following along the extension of brilliant red to his back. “Can you handle seeing two more?” Uta asked as I took a peek at the connection between the ghouls Kagune and the normally flat expanse of skin along his lower back.   
“Yeah. It just surprised me at first. I don’t know what I was expecting...how many can you have of these?”  
“Six.”

“Six!? How on earth do you keep track of all those?” I laughed softly breaking the nervous tension now as I acclimated to seeing Uta with extra protrusions from his back; his “claws” in a manner of speaking. “If I had that many limbs I’d be like..er...Like...” I waved my arms humorously in front of me. “Wacky waving inflatable tube man. I don’t think I’d know what to do with them all!” I smiled as my silliness seemed to rub off on the ghoul; he snickered.

I turned my head as the ghoul sprouted two more tails to a grand total of three. “This is the most I normally have to use. Except on some rare occasions.”  
I peered around, glancing from tail to tail and considered. “When Renji-kun trains me...he’s not going to be using his will he?”

“No. He’d better not for a while. You’re too fragile for that. I’ll kill him if he actually hurts my human. Anyway his is a different type from mine. Maybe you’ll see someday.”

“Your human?” I questioned while watching his Kagune move around him, never completely stagnant. I received a small smile from the ghoul but otherwise he stayed quiet and didn’t let me into the inner workings of his mind regarding his comment. I wondered sometimes, what went through his mind when he said something like that. Expecially after we'd already had a conversation about not 'belonging' to him.

I couldn’t resist reaching out and touching again. They were warm; almost unbearably so but it wasn’t altogether unpleasant. “How strong are these? Can you pick things up?”

The ghoul grinned in response to my question. A response that is never exactly the most reassuring. “Trust me?” He asked.  
“Yeah?” I said; a note of concerned curiosity squirmed into my voice. I turned my gaze from his face to the set of three Kagune.   
In a flash one curled around my waist, another held against my upper back and a third swooped my legs out from under me and held behind my knees. In a span of a few moments I was cradled above the ground with ease by the ghoul whom still had his hands shoved into his pockets. He smugly smirked at the expression of surprise written across my face. 

“UTA! A little extra warning would be nice!”  
“What? You said you trusted me, and don’t ladies like to be ‘swept off their feet’?”  
“Not like this! Please put me down!”

“Uncomfortable?” He asked but regardless of my answer he already turned, swinging me gently over the couch and placing my body back down gracefully. “No harm done!~”  
He said as the warm tendrils were removed from around my body. I was amazed that a tool that he used to kill could be so gentle while being so strong. And with so little effort. The ghoul smiled faintly and sat down on his couch with his arms held behind his head. The Kagune was dismissed as easily as a thought and disappeared entirely before he pressed his back into the furniture.

"That was better than how I thought you'd handle that." Uta admitted. “But that’s enough for today. Otherwise you might actually get scared.” I grinned, stretching out and laying my legs across his lap. “What? Did you think you could scare me Uta!?”  
“I did earlier.”  
“That’s different!” I argued, and crossed my arms over my chest. “I didn’t know it was you! And then I was even more afraid I’d actually hurt you badly!” I laughed, shaking my head and rolling my eyes.

“That knife did hurt.”  
“I said sorry!”   
“I should pay you back for it, until we are even...” The ghoul dropped his arms from behind his head and rested them on my legs. “But how should I pay you back? How about a bite?”  
The man pulled my upper body towards him as I squealed in protest, all the while his grin grew until he was showing off pearly white teeth. “Uta!?”

Rationally I knew that he was joking, messing with me and simply playing around. His grip on me wasn’t anywhere near as tight as it could have been. It likely wasn't meant to keep me from wiggling away. But the non-rational side of my mind; the side driven by the basic instincts of man was in panic mode and sending copious amounts of adrenaline racing around my body. “Don’t you think a bite is fair Ai-chan? You stabbed me. It hurt and I had to heal it. You know that takes up energy...?”

“Come’on Uta stop messing with me…” I whined and squirmed as the ghoul pulled me up to sit close to himself into his lap. With some wiggling we found ourselves sat similarly to how we had been on top of the building, on our first 'not date'. Me between his legs, my back resting against him with his head resting near my neck. “It’s only fair I get something back for my trouble…?”

I shivered feeling his nose and lips trail down my neck and that irrational side of my head screamed he’d BITE and I was in mortal danger. But in reality the ghoul simply laid his lips gently against my pulse and wrapped his arms around my middle. “Kidding!~" The ghoul said cheerfully. "I think that’s good enough to pay you back. No harm done. Your pulse is racing though…”  
“Yeah, I suppose it is…” I said; my mouth felt like it had dried up into a desert.

“...isn’t it nice?” He said gently, his lips curling into a smile against my skin. “Doesn't a racing heart make you feel alive?”

This thing between Uta and myself; whatever it was, was getting closer and much harder to ignore. Especially when he did something like this…I had to move or I'd say or do something stupid!  
“Yeah, I guess it does.” I laughed gently with heat spreading through my body. I placed my hands on the arms wrapped around me and pulled them away gently. Managing to slide out of his lap. He let me go and I was able to wiggle my way to ‘my’ side of the couch again this time with my legs wrapped up safely under myself. “Sorry...“ He said, watching me leave his grasp. “For what?” I asked, confused about what he was apologizing for.

Instead of answering he placed his arms behind his head again and leaned back, crossing his legs in front of him. “I had fun Ai-chan. Going out to the theater tonight. I normally don't do that. Maybe we can head out someplace again…? After we find Kaneki. You can pick where we go.”  
“Sorry you lost your glasses...I’ll have to get you a new pair before we head out in public again.”

“That’s true, I do need to wear some. But you don’t have to. I might have an older pair hanging out somewhere for now...”

“Do they look as cool as the ones you had?”

“Renji hated them.” Uta smirked, laughing faintly. “Called them lame and ridiculous.”

I grinned and sat up right. If Renji hated them they must have been great! “Oh, now I have to see them!”   
“Are you going to make fun of them too…?”  
“Maybe. Probably.” I laughed gently and nudged him with my foot. “Go get them.”

The ghoul stood up and left the room, a few minutes later he came back with a small pair of round glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose. They did not cover even a small amount of his eyes. I burst out into laughter right away, making the ghoul pull them from his face. “No! No! Leave them on!” I struggled to breathe. “They look…” I gasped for air, wheezing slightly in effort to get oxygen into my lungs. “Great!”

“Ai-chan, I’m hurt.” The ghoul pouted comically.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” I wiped away a few stray tears from my face and stood up from the couch, waving at him to come closer. “They aren't that bad...they...don't really cover up your eyes though. Which kind of defeats the purpose.”

“Yeah, I suppose.” He grinned and shrugged; the humor of the tiny rounded glasses wasn’t entirely lost upon him. “I wore these back when I was the leader around the ward…” I stopped myself from snorting at that mental image. People listened to him while he wore THESE!?   
“Really? They’re kinda….retro. But you need ones that cover up your eyes for the public.”

“I’ll have to look for some before my shop opens up again, otherwise a human might wander in and see…” He set aside the glasses on the coffee table and headed into the kitchen. “You have sugar here now, do you want a coffee?” 

“Yeah, thanks! That sounds great actually.” I waited until he was in the kitchen and out of sight before leaning forward and picked up the glasses he’d placed down. Looked them over more closely they really were pretty retro. I placed them on my face and headed towards the kitchen where I could hear the ghoul pouring water into the machine.   
“How do I look Uta?”  
The ghoul turned, looking over his shoulder and raised his eyebrows at my antics. I had the glasses halfway down my nose and looking over the rims with a funny expression scrawled across my face. The ghoul snickered, spilling some water. “Shoot. Aika!”

“I’m going to see what Renji-kun thinks!” I said, already taking a picture of myself and typing out a message to the silver haired ghoul. Uta’s chuckle turned into full blown laughter. First Uta stole or BORROWED his car, and now he was going to be harassed by myself in Uta’s old glasses. I was pretty lucky that Renji was actually pretty tolerant now that he’d aged and gotten ‘calmer’.  
While Uta wiped up the spilled water and finished filling the machine I leaned on the wall between the kitchen and living room. “Hey, crazy question…" I wanted to ask the opposite question that he'd asked me the night before. Would he date a human? But as the question came to my lips it fled. I wimped out.  
"Um…well..."

"Hum?" Uta turned and shot me a look with a raised eyebrow. Panicked I said the first thing that came to mind. "Did you change how you store your food because of me? Itori mentioned that you didn't normally cut it up and put it in Tupperware…"  
Uta glanced at his fridge and nodded after a moment of hesitation. "You said seeing me eat it cut up bothered you less, and you are here a lot…" I smiled nervously and shrugged. He wasn't wrong. "Well, I suppose. I guess I hadn’t noticed how often I’ve come over..."

“Nearly every day..” The ghoul smiled and leaned over the coffee machine, watching the hot coffee drip down into the large pot. "I want you to feel welcome...So I made my food not so ‘people shaped’. Itori’s been bothering me for years about being lazy anyway." The coffee machine clicked off on its own when the water in the back ran out and the coffee was done.

I watched his back as he poured the now heated coffee out into two mugs and grabbed my little cup of sugar. He carefully balanced all three and carried it past me into the living room and placed them down. Uta took a seat and leaned forward, picking up the sugar and looking at it curiously. Miming pouring the sugar he looked up towards where I stood.  
“Tell me when.”

He began pouring sugar in but after a few seconds and quite a bit of sugar he stopped before I could say ‘when’. “I’m not an expert Ai-chan...but this seems like an unhealthy amount of sugar. Isn’t there a limit on this stuff?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.   
“I just like sweet things.” I said while I made my way back to the couch to sit. I pulled the glasses from my face and gently sat them down on the coffee table.

“Thanks Uta-kun!~” We both picked up our coffees and took a sip. I lounged back with Uta and sighed softly. “It’s still not great. But it’s so much better with some sugar…”  
“Should have had you bring your coffee maker over…”  
“Maybe I’ll teach you to make it better, I might have to ask Yoshimura. It might be a trade secret!” I giggled, as I relaxed.  
This was nice...

If this was all we’d ever be...then I might be able to live with that.   
What if I was just going to ruin everything by trying for something more?

♥

I placed my empty mug of coffee by Uta’s sink after I’d rinsed it off. “Uta, I think I’ll head home now. Tomorrow I’m going back to help out at the cafe. Yoshimura said he didn’t expect me to help out, but I really want to. Maybe I can get Touka to actually like me in my lifetime.” I grinned and gave the goth a silly thumbs up. “Or maybe she’ll hate me forever.”

“She doesn't like you?” He looked up from a sketch he’d pulled out a while after he got both our coffees. A few glances over at it revealed he was working on a sketch of me while I had been drinking my coffee. The sketch-girl smiled happily as they drank. The girl in the drawing looked like a better, cuter version of myself. I wondered if that’s how he saw me…?

I waved my hand dismissively at his question; it wasn’t a huge issue. “She’s suspicious of me. I don’t blame her...with all the issues ghouls have with humans. I get it if she doesn't trust me. Though, I hope sometime she’ll get over it. Maybe helping out enough so she doesn't have any extra shifts and she’ll get that I just want to be friendly.”

I went to his front door and slid my shoes back on and made sure I had all my stuff I’d brought with me. “Hum...Ai-chan. Do you want to go on another trip someplace?” I considered the ghoul for a moment trying to decide if it was a ‘date’ or something else this time.

“How about after we get Eyepatch? We can maybe head out someplace all together. We could get together for a small party to celebrate his rescue, yeah? It’s been a while since he was taken...but I’m staying positive. I just wish I could do more...”

Uta slipped on his pair of clogs and walked me down the stairs and out the front door of his shop. I held out my hand in the air to catch a few spare flurries of snow that fell from the darkened sky. “Bjorn’s going to go nuts at this. You should see him in the snow…”

“Do you want to come with me? I mean, I just need to walk Bjorn for a minute before bed but...his reaction to this shit is really just hilarious!” I stepped into a small patch of fresh snow and delighted in the muted ‘crunch’. The ghoul paused to lock his shop door and followed me into the snowy walkway. “Sure...the first snow is rather pretty…”

I spun around in a circle and stuck my tongue out to catch some flakes. I paused when I heard a soft chuckle nearby. “It’s like you never saw snow.” I pouted and gently shoved his shoulder. “Come on, haven't you ever caught snow on your tongue!?”

I stuck my tongue out at him as he just laughed at my rather childish antics. Despite his laughter, I did catch him sticking his tongue out to catch a flake a few times as we headed towards my apartment.

“Bjoooorn!” I cooed at my dog as I opened the door. “Bring me your leash. We’re going for a walk.” The dog, brilliant by dog standards wiggled like crazy and eventually brought me his leash which was challenging to put on with him squirming so badly.  
As always the dog stiffened up at Uta’s presence. Upon seeing the snow outside he loosened up and forgot the ghoul entirely. Uta and I watched as the huge dog lumbered out the door and started prancing around in the snow; picking up paws out of the snow one at a time and bouncing in an attempt to keep all his paws dry. A futile attempt.  
Bjorn threw himself down into the snow and rolled around huffing and puffing with excitement. We both stood in the narrow alleyway and laughed out loud, completely ignoring the late hour or the neighbors that we might be annoying. 

This lasted some time, but ended when the pup finally peed on Ms. Kirins wall and came back to me, whining and shuffling from paw to paw. “Cold paws baby?” I opened up my apartment door and then thought of Uta, in his clogs. I glanced at the ghoul and saw him shifting from foot to foot in a similarly uncomfortable way as Bjorn.

“Shoot! Come in!” I said. He stared at me, surprised as I practically dragged him into the much warmer building. “I forgot you wore those open back shoes. Warm up before you head back!”

I waved as he opened his mouth. “I know it’s right down the street but you could get si---” I stopped and frowned. “Can you get sick?”  
“I’m not going to get sick.” Seeing my expression staying steady, waiting for my answer he relented. “But yes. We can.”

I grabbed a fresh towel and tossed it at the ghoul “Then dry off your feet and warm up before you head back out, you can’t afford to get sick before you all go off to battle.” I went to my coffee pot and grinned. “I’ll make you another coffee! You can bring it back with you!”

“....Okay.” He agreed after a moment's hesitation. The coffee really won him over.

Bjorn watched the ghoul move around the small space but laid down in ‘his’ spot and seemed relaxed. After all, this was ‘his’ territory! Uta removed his shoes and took a seat on my couch and dried off the snow melting off his feet.

I peered at the shoes at the door leaving a small puddle around them. “Those are terrible for the winter.” I remarked with a raised eyebrow. “I think they caught more snow than they kept out.”  
Waiting for the heated water I took a moment to look at the ghoul who now sat on my bed/couch. Despite being rather comfortable with my small living situation I was a bit embarrassed. He’d only been over for a significant time...once before?

I turned back to the nearly boiling water and started pouring smoothly over the coffee grounds and down into the fancy pot. Once it was done I poured it into a very un-fancy mug that proudly sported the phrase: “Mess with the Crabo, get the stabo!”

The ghoul lifted an eyebrow at the mug’s image of a crab holding aloft a knife. Laughing myself, I defend my mug choices. “Hey, it was either that or this…” I showed him a mug that said “eat trash, hail satan” sporting the face of an opossum. “OR I could have given you the one that just says “bitch” on it.” I chuckled and plopped down beside him. 

He stood up, cradling the mug between his hands. “Warmer?” I asked as he sipped his coffee. “A bit. I’ll bring this mug back.”

“Its alright. No hurry. I’ll probably visit and come get it back!~ I don’t think it can hide very well among your plain mugs!”

He slipped back into his wet shoes, saw the small puddle and shot me an apologetic look. “Don’t worry about it, i’ll get it after you go.” I waved as he walked out the door. “Hey! Make sure to warm up again once you get home and dry your shoes! Don’t get sick!”

♥

I arrived at the cafe early in the morning disappointed to see most of the snow was gone and waved in the window at Touka who looked rather surprised to see me. “Hey...Aika. Are you here to help?” I nodded and smiled, trying my best to look as friendly as I could. “Yeah, Yoshimura said I could help out if I really wanted to. I got all the glass up yesterday - or I hope I did. Nobody got cut on anything did the---...Oh I guess you guys wouldn’t get cut on glass…”  
“---anyway! I’m here to help! I don’t know what you’re working on first so just point me to what needs done!” 

The young woman’s face flickered through a few emotions before settling on her carefree, aloft and slightly bitter look. “Fine. I guess I can find something for you to do. Come on….”  
Regardless, I followed her into the living room area that had gotten fucked up, ready to roll up my sleeves and work as hard as I can. The rug had been rolled up and the furniture had been covered in plastic.

“We’re working on repainting...hope you don’t mind getting paint on those…” She nodded at my clothes, which were just a tank top, hoodie and jeans. Not the nicest clothes, but I’d been expecting to do some messy work again . “Ehh-Yeah. I got plenty of these!” I gave her a thumbs up and smiled. “Alright, here…” The woman handed me a paint can and a roller. “You can start over there.” She pointed at a wall.  
I walked over, sat down the paint can down and started to get to work painting over the lighter pink and brown hues of old blood. Someone had definitely already scrubbed off the majority of the stains but it would need several layers over it to hide it completely.

♥

I took a break and wiped the back of my wrist across my forehead trying not to get paint all over. “Touka, I’m taking a break. Gotta wait for this layer to dry!” Across the room the ghoul looked over her shoulder and nodded. “Yeah, sure…”

I dropped the roller onto a piece of protective plastic and headed down to the cafe’s main level and washed my hands in the sink. Looking up I saw out the window a young lady who looked familiar but I couldn’t place her. She seemed to be peering into the building anxiously. I went to the front door and poked my head out. “Ah, Hello! I’m sorry! We’re closed for some remodels…”

The woman turned her head towards the sound of my voice and seemed startled. “Oh, yeah. I know. I was expecting I could find Nishiki here…” I blinked and looked her over again. She really did look familiar. “Oh! Are you his girlfriend? Um...your...um shoot. I forgot your name…” The woman nodded, a faint blush across her face as she did so. “Kimi. Nice to meet you. I don’t think we've actually been introduced, But I’ve seen you working.”

“Oh. I'm Aika. But He’s not here now, but do you want to wait for him here?”  
“Do you mind?” She asked.  
I glanced behind me into the building. I debated for a few moments and finally nodded. I think that Yoshimura would probably want us to be welcoming, especially since she was waiting around for an employee. “Yeah, I don’t see why not. Um...just don’t go upstairs yeah? We’re working there. I’ll make you a cup of coffee since you’re here.”

I held the door open and let her in. Following her into the cafe I swooped around the back of the bar and started a cup of coffee. The smell brought Touka down the stairs. “Aika what are you--oh. Kimi. How are you doing?”

Kimi turned and looked up as Touka came down the stairs. “Oh. Hi Touka. I’m waiting for Nishiki.” I smiled and started to make a plain black coffee for the woman. “I saw her looking in the windows and figured I’d let her wait inside, rather than out there, it's rather chilly this time of year!”

“Yeah, that’s fine…” Touka grabbed a coffee cup and slid it in front of me. “While you’re at it can you make me a cup too?” I nodded immediately and began to pour out the first cup of black coffee, prepared to slide it to Kimi. To my surprise the woman smiled faintly and asked me something I didn’t expect.  
“Oh, I’m sorry Aika...could I get some creme and sugar mixed with mine? I completely forgot to ask for it...”  
I blinked and looked between the cup and the woman. Foolishly I said: “Huh?”

Touka reached and took the black coffee from Kimi and walked off taking the coffee back up the stairs. “She’s human, idiot.”  
“She’s…?” I stared with wide eyes and started to apologize immediately. “I’m sorry, I thought...you said you were Nishiki’s girlfriend. So I assumed---I am so sorry!”

She smiled kindly and held up her hands as I blurted out apologies. “Really it’s okay. Don’t worry about it.” I quickly restarted a coffee and made sure to add creme and sugar to this one while I made it. Once in a while I glanced up at her.  
“So. You’re dating Nishiki…” I said, awkwardly as I slid her new coffee towards her complete with sweeteners. She nodded and took a sip from the new coffee. A ghoul and a human....  
And they weren’t the only ones. Yoshimura had even said he’d had a human wife at one point.  
It could work…

After a few more sips of the coffee the woman spoke up again. “I’ve seen you around that dark haired guy, sunglasses and piercings.”Kimi said, clearly describing Uta. “Are you two…?”  
“What...him and I?” She nodded, then it was her turn to look embarrassed. “Is that not the case…?” I shook my head but I couldn’t help but wonder what made people think this...Even another human assumed we were a couple.

“I’m sorry! I guess I was mistaken…”  
“It’s fine...” I took a look around the room and didn’t spot Touka near the stairway or anyone else nearby. Seeing the coast was clear I muttered: “...I do like him…”

Hearing a small gasp, I glanced up at Kimi who stared at me with a look of delighted surprise. “Really?”  
I nodded and then sank down to sit on a bar stool behind the counter, pressing my head against the counter and letting out a sigh. “I guess I’m just afraid I’ll make a fool of myself if I try anything...I’d hate to lose him as a friend because I did something dumb.”

Kimi seemed to deliberate my thoughts and also let out a sigh. “Sorry. I guess I’m not the best to ask for advice. I was dating Nishiki before I knew...I guess you already know before you've tried dating...”

I looked up at the woman and smiled. “How’d you find out, and how did you handle that?”  
With a little hesitation the young woman pulled gently on her shirt, showing off a scarred shoulder that was quite obviously a bite mark. Seeing the mark I lifted my head up and stared. “I came home one day to find him hurt...I guess he was starving because of the effort to heal.” She let the shirt fall back over the mark. “I suppose I accepted him being a ghoul right away...which is crazy. I know. But I love him.”

She'd just come home to find her ghoul boyfriend hurt and he'd bitten her. It was a scene that I was familiar with.How close had Uta been from doing the very same?  
"I let him bite me." She said, surprising me. "I know it's crazy...but he was so hurt and there wasn't anything else I could do. He didn't even have the strength to really attack me and he's all I have..." I turned my stupefied expression around so I wasn't staring quite so blatantly at the lady. Instead I turned to look at the cupboards full of shiny clean cups and mugs. “I guess it makes sense, you already loved him before…I guess not even learning he was a ghoul change that?”

“No. I suppose not...does um. Does he know you like him?” She seemed lost for a name. “Uta.” I supplied and jerked my shoulders to shrug. “I’m not sure. I brought him to a theater last night…” I started to describe our trips out. The more I told her, the more Kimi seemed to be rooting for me and Uta.   
The door to the cafe chimed and Nishiki finally entered. “Oh, hey Hon...and Aika. How are you doing…?” I lifted a hand up to wave to the sandy haired male. I didn’t work with him often, but he’d always been fairly short tempered and easy to irritate. Seeing how he walked straight to Kimi and touched gently made me think he might actually have a sweet side somewhere…

“Well, I was helping out with the repainting, which I should get back to.” I stood up and smiled towards the other human. “It was nice talking to you, thanks!” As I walked away I heard Nishiki ask his girlfriend what we had been talking about. Instead of dwelling too long on the odd couple downstairs I called out to the purple haired ghoul. “Touka, sorry I took so long. I got caught up talking to Kimi.”

♥

When the day’s work was over and the blood stains were finally covered up I left the cafe with paint covering my clothes and some of my skin. On the subway back home I got a few funny looks but I made it without anybody commenting on my odd apparel. It suited me just fine since I was far too deep in my thoughts about human/ghoul relationships.

It clearly was possible…

Back at home I took off my paint splattered clothes, chipped off as much paint as I could and scrubbed myself clean until my skin was red. The paint clothes were tossed in a separate pile in case I had to paint again. My muscles in my arms, shoulders and back were aching painfully whenever I moved. They served as proof I’d spent hours trying to reach for the ceiling of the room with a paint roller. Once I was dry and reclothed I shot Uta a text message.

Aika: Need any help with masks?  
Uta: I think I’m doing alright for now.

There were a few moments of pause, not leaving me much time to formulate a response before I received another message.  
Uta: You can still come over if you want.  
I pondered that message. I went nearly every night to say hello, or ended up hanging out for hours. After my talk with Kimi If I went over right now. I might say something stupid and ruin everything.  
Aika: I think I’m going to walk Bjorn for a bit and then brush him out real good tonight. Kinda tired and my back hurts. Kinda feel like I got run over by a semi truck.

Uta responded with a small: 😦   
Followed closely by another message.  
Uta: You okay?  
Aika: Will be. Taking some tylenol and some sleep will probably do the trick. Don't worry!   
💊+ 😴

Uta: Okay. Coming over tomorrow?  
Aika: 👍 Yeah! Ofc.

I realized how used to my life with ghouls I was getting when I automatically packed my mask and knife with me without a second thought as I left the house for Bjorn’s walk. As I walked with Bjorn he paused in front of Uta’s studio, expecting I’d want to stop. Instead I waved him onward and followed the pup wherever he wanted to head too. To think. A month or maybe it was almost two months now; he'd almost dragged me past this place to avoid it. “Just a walk today bud, you and me!” I smiled as the dog wiggled happily in front of me, sniffing the world as he went.   
He is smart; but also a simple and happy creature.

He didn’t have worries about having a crush on a human eating ghoul.  
♥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Already working on chapter 26~ Thank you everyone for your comments! I try to answer most of them when I can!


	26. Chapter 26: Rescue

Chapter 26: Rescue

Days went by slowly as we all were waiting for the moment for some silent signal. It all came together when Renji showed up at Uta’s door and told him it was time. Thankfully the masks had all been completed and packed away in bags to be passed out when Uta went to meet the rest of the rescue group.

My happy greeting towards the silver haired ghoul died in my throat hearing it was time for Uta and the rest to go out and risk their lives; and I’d be stuck behind. Completely unable to do anything. I’d already done all that I could. Helping make the masks, cleaning up the broken cafe and trying to keep people’s spirits up when I talked to them. ‘He’ll be fine’ I tried to tell Touka countless times with a smile on my face.  
But I didn’t know that for sure…and it had been nearly 12 long days since he’d been taken.  
Would she blame me for being so ‘carefree’ about it later if he wasn’t okay?

Uta touched my shoulder bringing me back to the current situation at hand. The two ghouls were preparing to leave as suddenly as Renji had shown up. “Hey. Ai-chan. Stay here again. Alright?”  
“Yeah. Sure. Just come back safe.”

“If I die---”  
“Give the meat in your fridge to Itori-chan.” I grinned, despite how much turmoil I felt. I wanted to hug him again, tell him I actually liked him. But I also didn’t want to say it like I’d never see him again. It could be kept for later; because I refused to believe they wouldn’t all come back.

“You’d better not die...and you’d better not either.” I said, glancing at Renji with a wicked grin. “You’ve got “kittens” to watch. Don’t you?” The look on his face was priceless. It wasn’t much of a change, but I did see the slight widening of his eyes as I said, but did not mean “kittens”. Whoever his 'human' was would probably miss him if he didn't come back.

“Keep an eye on the news, we’ll be back before you know it!” Uta waved a hand full of bags of masks as he exited out the front door. Bjorn was already here with me; watching with me as the ghouls left the building. “Lock this behind us, okay?”

I nodded, letting them leave without any big farewells. “Be safe…”

In a lot of ways tonight paralleled the night of the first meeting where they just talked about how they should go about rescuing Ken. But now it was time to put every plan into action; and everyone that went would be in danger. They might even be unable to save Eyepatch at all. The fact that a little girl, Hinami was able to go and help and I was stuck behind made feel me somehow worse. I locked the door behind them as asked and took Bjorn up into Uta’s apartment. I locked the doors up to the apartment behind me as well to be extra safe.

I laid on the couch, flipped on the TV and watched with anxiety clouding my mind. The 11th ward was apparently the location of the hideout if the news was anything to go by. A huge force of CCG officers would also be converging on the same location making the rescue that much more difficult and dangerous. The likelihood that my friendly ghoul buds would run into the doves while trying to save Ken from the ‘not so friendly’ ghouls was pretty high.

Hours ticked by slowly. For a very long time the CCG seemed unable to push past the Aogiri ghouls stationed for defense. The finalities of the plan were something that the ghouls had gathered to discuss tonight so it left me completely in the dark regarding how my friends all planned on sneaking in and out with Ken in tow. I huddled up on the couch unable to look away as the news reporters unabashedly showed off how ‘great’ the CCG were when they finally did break lines in the battle and march forward. They didn’t even care to hide the brutal murder of a few ghouls on screen...

I slid off the couch and hugged my dog, snuggling up in his warm fur and taking as much comfort as he could give me. “I hope they stay safe buddy…”

♥

Sometime later I made myself coffee in an effort to stay awake. The news repeated some parts over on repeat; making the CCG look like the heroes. Good guys with no room for doubt for the public. They called for support from the locals to make sure that every human survived the assault on the ward.

Did every human fall for this?  
And had I before I’d known Uta?

Thinking back, I’m not even sure what I’d have thought hearing about this news. I’d probably have overheard it from a 3rd party the day or even a week later as they told a friend. I would have thought little of it and moved on with my life. At most I’d have shrugged it off as ‘more ghoul shit’ and wondered how many of those ‘monsters’ were out there if there had to be that many CCG officers in the city.

I knew now they were not ‘monsters’ like the news reports said. Far from it.  
At least not all the time. This world makes people do monstrous things if they are treated that way for too long. Even if Uta could murder someone, cut them up and eat them, he also had the capability to be sweet and kind to me; regardless of the fact that I was human.

The news had stopped reporting anything new at all until it was very early in the morning and there was a ‘breaking report’.

“The raid on the 11th Ward Hideout has been a very successful strike against these monsters! Some were able to escape but The CCG were able to arrest or kill many of the ghouls found inside and continue to hunt down those who got away.”

I hoped that none of my friends were on those lists of whom had been arrested or killed off. If they were then I wasn't sure I'd know where to go from here. The idea that they'd be used as spare parts for weapons was too horrifying to contemplate for long and I took to pacing around the room.

After hearing it was over finally and the area was cleared out I laid out on the couch and waited; listening to the sounds of the city start to wake up around the ward. Unlike last time I'd waited for him I managed to stay awake until I heard doors click open and shut downstairs and keys jingle at the front door. In a blind flurry I jumped up, unlocked the door and swung it open. Uta stood paused in motion; holding his keys to unlock the door for himself. Immediately I could see that his arms and sleeves were soaked in dark liquid that I had to guess was blood. Despite this I threw my arms around him and hugged him as hard as I could muster. “... you’re safe! I’m so glad.” The ghoul almost tipped back and stumbled with the force I smacked into him with but caught us both from tumbling down the stairs backwards. “You’re still up…” He set his chin on the top of my head but didn’t return my hug with his bloodied arms. “I’m a bit of a mess Ai-chan. Not sure you want to be hugging me…”

“It’s fine…” I muttered into the front of his shirt, soon after noticing several more blood splatters there. Ick. Ok; It was a bit gross but I was too busy being overjoyed to have him back in one piece. “Is this your blood?”

“Nah, you should see the other guy.” Uta smiled faintly. “Actually the other guy was kind of strange. Completely walked away from a hole in his chest and cut in two…” That didn’t sound normal but I had other people to worry about first.

“And Eyepatch? Touka? The others?” Uta’s immediate frown on his face wasn’t reassuring but he said: “He’s alive and looks pretty well. He went through a rather brutal trial by fire. He’s not the same ghoul as he was before. But everyone lived, so don’t worry.” He raised his hands up, and gently peeled me away from him. “Let me clean up and change, I can feel my clothes sticking to me...”

I backed up, letting the ghoul go and stepping back into the apartment. “Sorry...I was just happy to see you in one peice.” I exhaled and relaxed, dropping back down onto the couch as the male headed towards his bedroom. Now that I had relief I finally let my eyes leak out a steady stream of tears. “I won’t be long.” Uta said, when he went into the bathroom. “Okay.” I managed to say without hiccuping.

This was over, finally.  
But I couldn’t sleep just yet. I heard water running in the bathroom as the ghoul cleaned himself off from whatever battles he’d suffered during the night. I stood, and wiped my eyes. My body was tired but still able to go on so I could at least make him a cup of coffee…and I could use another one too at this point.

When I heard the bathroom door click open I already was pouring coffee into mugs. I added sugar to mine and went to sit them down on the coffee table. I tried to ignore the ghoul as he walked past me in a pair of baggy pants, towel around his shoulders and wet hair that he left down. The half nude man knelt down in front of his fridge and started to shuffle boxes around to find something he wanted to eat. It...was his own house. There was nothing stopping the dude from walking around shirtless but I couldn't help feeling awkward about how I dearly wanted to stare.

“Uta? You said everybody was safe and sound? Renji and everybody got out without a scratch?”

“'ot ‘ithout a ‘arch…” I heard muffled as the ghoul tried to talk with his mouth full from the kitchen. Curiously I peeked in and lifted an eyebrow as the ghoul was lifting a bloody chunk of meat up to his mouth with his fingers. He had blood all over his hands again and some dripping down his chin. He paused, midway to having it in his mouth and watched me stand at the doorway.  
“...is it just dudes who eat things super messy? Or are you special?” I said, and turned to grab a paper towel, wet it and waited. “Come on, eat it already. You're dripping on the floor you dolt…”

He shoved a large chunk into his mouth that made the sides of his cheeks puff out and I rolled my eyes. I held out the wet paper towel to him which he took from my hands and wiped off his chin and hands. “That was for the floor…” I said, laughing at his innocent wide-eyed expression as he looked down at the floor splattered with a bit of blood now.   
I turned and left the room, calling behind me as I went. “There’s coffee out here when you're done stuffing your face. I want to hear about how the raid went.”

I received another muffled response as the ghoul continued to munch away on more meat. Remembering what he’d said before about taking energy to heal; and being that human meat was that energy It seemed like he’d been through quite a lot of fighting and needed to recuperate by eating into some of his stores of food.

I waited for him to reemerge from the kitchen, clean again after he washed his face and hands. He was licking an eyeball as a final snack as he seated himself next to me. He spotted the coffee on the table I’d left for him and he popped the eyeball into his mouth and swallowed it down. Grabbing the mug he took a long inhale off the top right away and exhaled.

Finally, getting over the fact that he was shirtless I took a really good look over him. Being like this allowed me to look at ALL of his tattoos on the top side of him as well as his abs. Had I known he had abs before? Further down I could see the top of his hips where a few more tattoos were peeking out, but despite how ‘nice’ it was seeing him shirtless I was busy searching for any left over injuries he might have accrued in a fight. From what I could see; there were none left over. “Uta, are you okay?”

“Yeah, why?”

“You seem tired…”  
The ghoul laid his head back and closed his eyes. “I’m a bit sore. Sorry. I’ll tell you about the raid. Just give me a few minutes…” I took a good look at his closed eyes and the dark circles under them. He looked about ready to pass out here on the couch!   
“You know actually. It’s fine. I can wait till tomorrow to hear all about it; Or later today I guess. Why don’t you head to bed? If everyone is safe then that’s all that matters for now. Finish your drink and go lay down.”

He cracked an eyelid open and his red iris darted around my face until I smiled to reassure him. “Really, I’m serious. I can wait. Go on. Head to bed.” I insisted.  
“Comfy here. We could both sleep here.” He muttered smoothly, a small smirk forming on his face. “Ah, ah, ah! Alright then. If you want to sleep here I’ll head home with Bjorn. There’s not enough room for us both to sleep comfortably! You fell asleep upright last time…” The pup lifted his head when his name was mentioned and he wiggled his butt, smacking his tail against the floor.

Instantly both of Uta’s eyes opened as I stood up to ‘leave’. “It’s still early…” He muttered.  
“It’s not dark anymore though.” I said nodding at a window that was starting to let in the light of the dawning day in. “Stay?” I turned back to look at the ghoul in mild surprise. “Why? Is it not safe…?”

“Because I want you to?” He asked. I hesitated to answer him and tilted my head curiously. He sounded a bit like he was unsure if he could, or should ask for me to stay. “So stay?”

I stood there, biting my lip as I considered. I could say no, but I really didn’t feel like leaving anyway. It wasn’t the strongest argument but having him lay there and ask me to stay was enough to get me too. I’d mostly got up to ‘leave’ so I’d ‘win’ the argument and get the man to move his ass into his own room.  
“Fine. I will. IF you get to your bed. Then I’ll stay over. I don’t want to walk home anyway. I’m exhausted...I couldn’t sleep while you guys were out there fighting. Too worried...”

“Okay. Let me finish my coffee...” I nodded, and went to sit by Bjorn who happily sucked up all the attention he could get as I held and rubbed his huge head. After a few minutes I glanced up hearing the ghoul stand up and groan. It was very minute but he seemed to cringe a bit as he stretched his arms above his head. He made his way to the kitchen to rinse out the mug and then started to walk back down the hallway to his own bedroom. “...goodnight Ai-chan. If you need anything come get me...”

“Night Uta-kun! I won’t need anything. Promise! Get some sleep.” I chirped happily back to him as he disappeared around the corner.

♥

I did have some trouble falling asleep. Whether it was because of my cold feet or the caffeine I’d drank catching up with me I was unsure. I tried tossing and turning, pulling my feet up closer to myself to keep warm but restful sleep evaded me no matter how hard I tried. Even Bjorn managed to get to sleep and was snoring peacefully in another corner of the room near the heater. After some troubled sleep plagued by nightmarish scenarios I finally sat up and gave up. I grabbed my phone to see the time and glared at it as it told me I’d only been ‘asleep’ for about two hours. Tops.  
With little else to do I started flipping through anything I could to occupy my mind for a bit. Memes. News. News about the raid last night. Cat pictures…

I kept quiet, not wanting to bother the ghoul and wake him up after they’d just got back from their long night of fighting for Ken’s life. As much as I wanted to message any of them - I knew everyone would need rest and recovery.  
My stomach growled a short time later and left me in quite the bind. There clearly wasn’t anything but coffee here that I could consume. Being left here all of a sudden last night meant I hadn’t grabbed any food and it had been nearly 12 hours since the last time I’d eaten.

I laid on my stomach and tried to concentrate on the news on my phone. I’d gone that whole week feeling hungry - I could manage a few hours. I began scrolling and tried not to look at the clock.  
Two more hours passed like this before I stood up, intending on making a cup of coffee that might dull the need to eat a little. But before I could even heat up the water I remembered a few things. His coffee machine wasn’t exactly quiet and the smell of coffee was rather strong. Often it had the habit of rousing people out of sleep…

Disappointed, I crept back to ‘bed’ and laid down. By now Bjorn had woken up and eyed me as I moved around the room. He lifted his head and looked like he might bark until I lifted my finger to my lips to shush him. 

‘I am so getting pancakes after this…’ I thought to myself as I waited.

♥

At some point I’d drifted off between sleep and wakefulness; the former was shattered as I heard movement in another room of the apartment. Immediately I thought Uta was awake! I stood and walked down the hallway, still trying to be quiet. I was intending on leaving him be but just letting him know I’d be going out to get food.

When I came to his room I was surprised to see the door was left wide open and the ghoul was lying peacefully in bed with his bare back facing me. If that hadn’t been Uta that had moved around what was it? VERY carefully I started to move away from the door only to freeze up at the sound of the ghouls' sleepy voice. “Ai-chan...what’s up…?”  
“Sorry! I thought I heard you were up already! I hadn’t meant to wake you!” I said, apologizing immediately for my mistake. The man turned over and looked at me through half-lidded eyes. “It's fine.”

“Since you are up now; I’m going to head out, I’m starving...I need to get something to eat.”  
The ghoul made a move like he was going to get up out of bed and I waved my hands to try and stop him. He already was seated up in bed and running a hand through his loose hair though. “You don’t need to get up! It hasn’t been that long. I just haven't been able to sleep…”

I could see right away that it had been the wrong thing to say as the ghoul cocked his head and seemed even more interested (and awake) than he had a moment ago. “What’s wrong?”

“N-nothing’s wrong. Just couldn’t get comfortable. I don’t know.”

“You can come sleep in here if you really want…” Uta said, thumbing over his shoulder at the other side of his admittedly large bed. Two people could sleep on it and still be leagues away from each other. Despite this, the thought of sleeping in the man's bed, especially with him still in it, brought a warm dusting of blush across my face.  
“I-no. That’s really fine! It’s not your couch that’s the problem. I’ve slept fine on it before...” Plus my own bed was little more than a couch. When it came to terms of comfort I’d even argue his couch outclassed my own futon. “I think it’s just cause I’m hungry.I’m going to head out and get some food, you can text me when you’re up and I’ll come back over to hang out if you want.”

“Okay…” He let himself fall back on his face directly into his pillow and tucked his arms under it. He slipped one of his arms free to wave a hand at the table next to his bed. “...keys...lock the door on the way out. You can get back in after you get food.” I opened my mouth, intending to tell Uta I hadn’t meant to come back right after I had food...but I shut it. The likelihood that he’d insist upon my return were pretty high. Just like he’d asked me specifically to stay overnight…

“Alright. I’ll come back after.” I took a few careful steps into Uta’s private room. It wasn’t exactly...super neat and organized. I was aware that I was being watched by the ghoul in question and hurried up to pick up the keys and pocket them. “I’ll try to be quiet when I get back to let you sleep.”

As I left the room I spotted Uta with his face pressed up against his pillow and giving me a lazy, sleepy smile.

♥

Bjorn came with me on our little early morning errands since he would need to be let out for a morning walk and fed before too long. It turned out that Uta wasn’t the only sleepy one around. Bjorn seemed tired as well, not that I blamed him after dealing with me and my anxiety over night. Despite that he still happily wiggled along with me as I walked towards a local cafe and waited outside while I got food. Instead of sitting down to eat, I ordered 'to go' so I could head back to eat.

I stopped at my own home and grabbed some raw meats I normally fed Bjorn as well as his bowls, and my own coffee maker. With takeout pancakes, Bjorn’s food, and my coffee pot all balanced in my arms I headed back to Uta’s shop.

Bjorn plodded his way in and waited for me while I very carefully closed the front door again and relocked it as quietly as possible. I did this with every door in the apartment on my way back up. I gently put Uta's keys on the coffee table rather than return it to his room where I’d end up waking the ghoul back up. Again.

Bjorn either understood that I was trying to stay quiet, or he thought it was a new game because he didn't bark, grumble or whine with excitement as I put his food in his dish. He laid down with his nose inches from his meal and waited until I said okay. 

After that was taken care of I finally sat myself down and opened up my take out box of blueberry pancakes with strawberry syrup drizzled over the top. I cut and shoved a triangle pile of three pancakes into my mouth and happily munched away on the sweetness of the desert like breakfast.  
While I ate I turned the tv on; low volume and with closed captions to make sure I didn’t miss anything important. By the looks of the news it seemed while the CCG were dealing with the group of Aogiri that had kidnapped Ken, ‘someone’ had broken into a ghoul detention center and several ‘dangerous’ ghouls escaped. No details beyond that was being shared with the public apart from a plea to the citizens to keep an eye out for any suspected ghouls.

I took another large bite out of the pancakes and scowled at the television. My initial reaction to hearing “prison break” would be: ‘Oh no’. But in this case...they were there just because they were ghouls. Uta or myself could find ourselves in such a place if they didn’t straight up kill us…

If. IF we were ever found out…

I sighed, poking at my food with the plastic take out fork. I was still hungry and my stomach was still demanding food...but thinking of that place made it seem a bit tasteless. Bjorn finished his food and stared at me with my little pile of pancakes with envy. I picked off a small piece and tossed it at him which he caught. I changed the channel and tried to take my mind off of it while I ate the rest of my food.

♥

“Hey...how was breakfast?” I almost jumped as Uta snuck up behind me. It wasn’t his fault, I hadn’t really been paying attention as I sat curled up on the couch staring at my phone’s news feed. “Oh it was fine…”

“Something bothering you?” Uta asked, sinking into the spot on the couch next to me and leaning close. “Nah, Just tired and a little sick of watching the news for the day…” I put down my phone and sighed, dragging my hands across my face. 

“What’s in the news?” The ghoul reached to turn on the TV and turned the volume up. Their repeated reports were supposed to rally up the other humans against ghouls but for myself they were having the opposite effect I suspected they wanted. Ghoul or human I wouldn't like hearing anybody cheering over murdering someone. 

"A bunch of ghouls escaped a detention center I suppose? But they’ve mostly been playing over and over how ‘great’ they did last night…” I took a deep breath and let it go, trying to let go of the heavy sadness that had settled inside.

"...you feel bad?" The ghoul asked.

“It’s...grating a bit on my nerves.”  
“That some ghouls escaped?”

“What? No. Not that.” I waved my hand dismissively. “No, the thing grating on my last nerve is the propaganda parade they’re having for themselves on TV for the entire day. Although I am also getting sick of hearing…” I cleared my throat and tried my best impression of the woman on the tv.   
“We urge the public to report any suspicious persons to your local police or CCG Office! It’s your civic duty and public safety starts with YOU!”

Uta’s face remained blank for a whole moment before he cracked and started to laugh. “That was pretty dead on what they say, isn’t it?” I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest. “It’s exactly what they’ve been saying for hours!”  
Still chuckling Uta asked me: “So, are you going to report me? As your civic duty to the public?”

“No. Uta. I’m never reporting you. Not you or anybody else…” Despite the fact that he was laughing about it, I would always answer that question seriously. I didn’t care what ghoul it was; there was no way I’d hand them over to a bunch of psychos who put ghouls in cages until they ‘harvested’ parts from them. If you compared the CCG ghoul detention centers with the Ghoul Restaurant. Which one was actually worse? 

“And if you have a problem with another ghoul? What then?”  
“Then I get MY ghoul to protect me, yeah?” I smiled and lightly nudged Uta. “As long as he dosn't mind protecting me I suppose.”

I saw his eyes light up briefly at my wording. “I don’t mind.” 

“Anyway!” I said, breaking back to the conversation about the news. “Seems like some ‘dangerous’ ghouls broke out that they’re actually worried about. Otherwise I doubt they'd mention a thing. Annoying as it’s been to listen to, the news is balancing telling the truth and keeping it secret. They’re making people aware to be on alert, but also trying to avoid hysteria and mass panic. Also, I doubt they’d want to release information on who exactly escaped. Especially if they happened to be important in any cases...” 

I peered sideways at Uta who was fixing me with a steady gaze after I basically analyzed the news with a fine pick comb. “Huh? What? What’s that look for?”  
“Nothing.” He stood up, stretched and started for the kitchen. “I’m curious who did get out…”  
“Do you…” I paused, considering that the question may be painful for him. “...do you know anybody in there…?”

“Of course. Every ghoul knows someone who’s died or been captured at one point...” He answered from the other room. The sound of his voice didn’t strike me as particularly sad, more matter of fact. I still felt a little bad for asking. “Oh. I’m sorry Uta…maybe they got out? They didn’t state how many escaped...”

“...that’s true.” The ghoul peeked out of the kitchen holding my coffee making pot aloft. “Ai-chan, You brought your coffee maker over.” Seeing the genuinely happy expression on his face I smiled again. “Yeah. You like that coffee better right?”

“Yeah.”

“Want me to make you some?”  
"Would you?"

I stood up and smiled as I walked over, taking the pot from his tattooed hands. "You know I'm on vacation right? My work place got terribly attacked by ghouls. Huge mess. Lots of blood and glass all over. Someone got kidnapped! Buuuut--- I suppose I can. Only 'cause it's you asking oh so nicely." I walked past him to the sink, getting water ready for heating.

The ghoul followed me close behind and leaned over my shoulder, standing close behind me. Every time I thought I was used to Uta's unusual touchy-ness he'd try something different. "Traumatized?" He asked.

I sighed and rolled my eyes at what I thought was a silly question. I thought of Kimi and Nishiki back at the cafe. If he wanted to get close---two could play at that game. I leaned back, almost expecting the ghoul to back up and give me more room but I bumped into his chest which held firmly in place. I smiled and continued what I was doing, ignoring how close we were. "No…not exactly, but it's not among my top ten memories."

"Tell me one of your favorites then?" Uta asked curiosity, still standing firmly in his spot. I could feel his voice vibrate through his chest against my back. "Trying to learn more about me Uta-kun? Hum. Well...how about I tell you, but only if you tell me one of yours too."  
Uta seemed to weigh my terms and came to a conclusion. "Fair. Tell me one."

"I think, in no particular order...when my uncle first told me he was going to have me visit him out of the city. He said he'd teach me to fence and shoot a bow. I had said my mother wouldn't let me because it wasn't lady-like. He laughed at me and told me that was the dumbest thing he’d heard. He said I should do whatever I felt like if it was fun and I liked it. He promised not to tell her what we did when I was gone, since she thought I'd be using the fresh air to get some more studies done…" I snickered and shrugged my shoulders. "We burnt my study book in a campfire and told scary stories. He told her I accidentally lost it."

I watched the water over the heat of the stove start to bubble. I put coffee grounds on top of my coffee maker and began pouring the hot water slowly in circles. "There. We. Go!~ One cup of coffee for my favorite person!" I poured a mug and turned around and held the cup up close to him between the small gap between us.

“Favorite ghoul?”  
“Person. Favorite person. Human or ghoul. Here’s your coffee Uta-kun!~” I smiled coyly, placed the warm mug in his hands and ducked around him to head out of the kitchen.

“So, I told you. Now it’s your turn. One of your favorite memories?” I asked when he followed me out of the kitchen, sipping the warm drink in his hands. “One that sticks out when I try to think of something? Meeting Renji. And our fights. I really enjoyed our fights. We never went as hard as we could because if we did we might both die. It was one of the rare times that someone could challenge me. I enjoyed that…”

“You wanted to fight him the other night too!” I laughed. “Isn’t he your friend?”  
“Yes, but I still enjoy being able to fight him once in a while. I kind of miss the old days…” The ghoul exhaled and pouted. I didn’t quite understand his desire to battle his close friends. But then again I had always enjoyed sparring. That was far from causing bodily harm and pain though. I imagine that Ghouls...played a bit rougher. Who wouldn't if wounds just healed up after?

“You look confused…” Uta walked over and dipped down to look at my face close up.

“...I suppose I am a little confused? I understand the notion of sparring. Friendly competition. But that’s always fairly safe. Plus, I’m your friend, I hope you don’t want to fight me…”

“Maybe after you can fight properly…” Uta replied, making me both nervous and hope he was actually kidding about that. No matter how much I trained, I doubted I'd ever fight as well as a ghoul. And definitely not as well as a strong one. Even the CCG officers were only as strong as they were because of their stolen and horrifically crafted weapons.

“Uta!” I whined softly. “No! Absolutely not! I’d really rather not get hurt! I can’t heal like you guys can. You realize a broken bone takes at least 6 weeks to heal for us? Anyway, even if I COULD fight well, I wouldn't want to hurt you anyways. I felt bad enough for accidentally stabbing you once!"

"We'll see about that…" The ghoul smiled to himself and continued to drink his coffee. “Did you hear anything from anyone at Anteiku?” I hadn’t yet...as far as I was aware. I did a double check with my phone and then shook my head. “Everyone there did get out safe and sound right?”

“Fairly safe and sound. I believe Yoshimura fought some and took a fair amount of damage. As did Touka...but everyone walked out with working legs. Including Kaneki…”

“The old man…” I tried to imagine the manager, an old man, fighting and just couldn’t compute it in my head. “...” I saw Uta’s smile twist at the edges a bit as he watched my own face scrunch up in confusion. “Yeah, Yoshimura fought. You shouldn’t underestimate a ghoul because of age. If anything they’re some of the stronger ones after they survived for so long...”

I shook my head a bit from side to side. “No that’s not it. He seems so...zen? I suppose I’m having a hard time imagining him hurting anybody. Which is probably equally dumb…”

“Actually he is pretty peaceful nowadays. But he does control the 20th ward as the leader there. Whoever that person is, they have to be strong enough to keep people in line and willing to do so. It’s been peaceful there for years, thanks to him.”

Skipping through my contacts I found the manager, after a moment's consideration I skipped him and went to “Touka”. I began typing a message.

Aika: Hey Touka-chan. This is Aika! I wanted to see how you were doing! Uta-kun said you’d gotten hurt. How are you healing up? :3 

I sent it, and waited. Of course after a minute looking at the ‘sent’ I closed my phone again and set it aside. She’d answer later if she wanted. I just had to do my best to reach out. “I wonder when everyone will go back to work? I kinda want to return to some normalcy. I thought it was a bit sad, but It’ll be nice to see Touka berating Eyepatch again…”

“He’s not going back to Anteiku.” Uta stated dully. My happy thoughts of Touka and Ken being a cute couple came to a screeching halt. “Come again? He’s alright isn’t he?”

“He’s different after what was done to him. So he’s alive. But he seemed to have set his eyes on a goal and it’s not Anteiku. He said that he wasn’t going to be going back to work at the cafe. He’s got a group of ghouls working with him now too...including The Gourmet.” Instantly I remembered Touka’s worries about Shuu going after Ken and bit my lip. Was he going to be okay with Shuu?

“He’s fine. The mask really suits him.” I nodded faintly, remembering my worry that it wouldn’t suit the boy. He had grown into the creepy mask just like I’d said. How very sad…  
I took a deep breath and laid down on the couch, covering my eyes by throwing my arm over my face and lying in the ‘dark’ behind my eyelids. I heard the ghoul move across the room and expected to have my legs lifted up and out of the way for him to sit. When I wasn’t moved and I didn’t hear anything else I moved my arm and peeked. Above me, the ghoul leaned over me. “You didn’t get much sleep at all, did you…? I’m awake now, but the offer to sleep in my room still stands.”

I tucked up my feet so there was room for him on the couch and shook my head. “I’m okay…” I covered a yawn that I couldn’t quite stop completely. My body betrayed me. The ghoul did not move to sit down, instead he seemed to frown a tiny bit and sounded concerned.

“...You should sleep.”

I groaned and flipped over onto my stomach, once again spread out across the couch. “But now I’m comfy here…sleeping now will throw my schedule out of whack...” I complained, thinking of my future work schedule in advance. If Kaneki didn’t work, and Touka had more classes I may end up with more work.   
I felt a hand laid gently on my back and began to rub in a small circular pattern. The ghoul didn’t say a thing further on my need to sleep but the small circles into my muscles were extremely soothing and might just send me to sleep anyway. Tired, relaxed and on the edge of sleep I muttered words, muffled into a couch cushion. “...'eels 'ood…” The gentle back rub paused; and I whined in the back of my throat to try to make it continue. When It didn’t, I turned my head to peek my eyes open at the ghoul again. “Why’d you stop?”

“That’s all you get unless you sleep…” He was...bribing me. With a back rub! My phone chimed from the table. Rolling my eyes I laughed. “You’ll have to bribe me later Uta-kun.” I reached for it, missing a few times before my hand landed on the device. “Looks like Touka-chan replied…”

Touka: I’m fine. Just tired. How is Uta?  
Aika: He seems fine now. I’m glad you’re okay! Have you heard from the manager? I don’t want to call and wake him up if he’s sleeping.

I sat up, ignoring Uta’s small protest as I began to type back and forth with Touka.

Touka: Haven't yet, but I’ll check tomorrow. I’ll let you know. You heard about Kaneki?  
Aika: From Uta. I’m sorry…

I watched the message get sent, read and stagnate there for a minute before Touka typed again.  
Touka: He’ll be fine.  
Aika: Yeah! I’m sure he will be! ⭐  
Touka: There’s going to be so many open shifts I’ll have to cover for him. That Idiot.  
Aika: Don’t worry about that! I’ll help! You’ve got school to focus on!  
Touka paused again before sending her last message of the day.  
Touka: Thank you, still tired. Going to take a nap. I’ll let you know tomorrow.

I laid down my phone and yawned, again. Spotting the expression on Uta’s face I finally relented. “Okay! Okay! Fine! I’ll take a nap. IF you promise to wake me up after...two hours? I want to be able to sleep tonight and not stay up all night. The ghoul nodded, but didn’t seem to agree with my hours. “Okay. I’ll wake you up in three hours.”  
“Two!”   
“Four…”  
“Uta!”  
“I’ll wake you up in time to go meet at the bar tonight with Itori and Renji-kun. We can try to find time for him to start to train you.”  
I exhaled a sigh of defeat. He wasn’t going to just let this go and seemed pretty stubborn about getting some sleep. “Alright, fine. You really don’t mind me using your bed…?”  
He shook his head and waved me towards his room. “I’ll be down in the shop working on some back orders until I come up to wake you.”

The ghoul got up, put his shoes on and started down the stairs to his studio shop. “Sleep well…”

Bjorn stayed at the doorway of Uta’s room, unwilling to pass the invisible barrier. I peered around Uta’s room a bit awkwardly. As I’d briefly noted earlier, it wasn’t super organized. He had a few old photos and news clippings on the wall held up by push pins or peeling scotch tape. Most of his laundry seemed to be put away, but there was a tshirt that had been haphazardly flung to the floor that I stepped over to get to his bed. I sat down on the edge of the bed and peered out into the hallways where Bjorn lay, watching over me. On Uta’s dresser I spotted two masks that I now know. That large white one with the needle nose and his usual ‘no face’ mask with the voodoo doll like stitching.

When I laid down I learned just how long it had been since I’d laid down in a bed.  
Years! I’d grown accustomed to futons or couches but a bed, or at least this one hugged the body perfectly and brought a sigh to my lips. 

I snuggled up, curling on my side and breathed in; steady and even as I listened to the dim outside world pass by. Even though the 4th ward was loud, messy and there was no shortage of screaming, loud music or honking horns I was comfortable with that particular type white noise.

♥


	27. Chapter 27: Underground

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for those I didn't reply to in the comment section, I try to reply to everyone (AND I DO READ AND LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE!) but I got overwhelmed by work this week (and it's not likely to get better with the holiday @n@)
> 
> I DO READ AND SCREAM HAPPY WRITER NOISES OVER EACH ONE!

Chapter 27: 

I was brought out of the deepest sleep I’d had in quite some time by gentle shaking. “...just ten more hours please…” I muttered, trying to burrow my way deeper into sheets and bedding. The shaking stopped and I heard a soft chuckle. “If you insist…” I stayed still until I felt weight press down on the bed nearby. Finally I peaked my eyes open to see Uta, seated at the foot of the bed and gazing at me with those blood red ghoulish irises of his. 

“...I’ll let you stay here if you’d rather do this. Having a cute girl in my bed isn’t a terrible way to spend my night.”

I stretched out my body and couldn’t help but moan softly. It was soooo comfortable. I really could stay here ten more hours, no joke and with no complaints. “...tempting. That’s very tempting Uta. But I might have to steal your bed from you actually. Maybe this bed now belongs to me!” I hid my red face in a pillow as I muttered sleepy words towards him.

“Hey...Remember when you asked if I missed anything from my old life? I think I miss beds. Beds are nice.” I was trying to soak up all the comfort I could right now from it since I wasn’t counting on sleeping here again. But...it was his bed and I did need to get up at some point; I couldn’t keep taking up space here. With some effort I pulled myself up and out of the bed. It was kind of sad that I couldn’t fit a proper bed into my current living space...  
“So, are we going?”

“ Yup, I’m getting up. Slowly, but I am getting up! Might as well go see how they’re doing.” I stretched my arms above my head and groaned as a few semi-painful pops cracked down the length of my spine. I was still pretty tired after not sleeping much the night before. When I moved it was rather lethargic and slow. “If I can’t sleep tonight I'll blame you!” I told Uta, who looked like he was grinning at his own personal joke. “You’re going to tell people I’m disturbing your sleep?”

“Yeah, you made me take a nap in the middle of the---” I paused, seeing his slight grin and the innuendo that he was grinning about sank in. “No! Not like that!”

The ghoul chuckled quietly and stood up from the bed. “I took Bjorn outside while you slept. He wasn’t very pleased with me, but I didn’t want to wake you up early. Are you aware you sleep like a dead person?”  
“I do not!”  
“Bjorn barked a few feet from your face and you stayed asleep…”  
“I don’t think that...that seems...really unlikely.” I said, losing my gusto to argue as I considered the absurdity of what he’d said. “Really?” I asked, perplexed. Normally I woke up pretty easily, on high alert even when asleep. It was dangerous even if I was used to the ward’s sounds. At least once someone had tried to break in while I was home, they’d broken the door enough to see me standing inside with an arrow pointing out at them and a large dog growling. I had to this point pretty much considered myself a light sleeper...

He nodded and waited by the door for me to get up. “That’s weird…” I said and then added. “I have to head home and get a shower before going anywhere…”  
“Don’t worry about that.” He peered at my clothing choice once over and shrugged. “That will work fine.”

I lifted an eyebrow at the ghoul dubiously. “Where are we going? I thought we were going to Helter Skelter.” It wasn’t like I had been running around in a marathon but after spending all day last night and then today sleeping in UTA’S BED I’d consider it a good idea to go take a shower and a change of clothes. At the very least I knew I smelled like I'd submerged myself in HIS scent.

“New plan. It’s a surprise.”  
“Oh. Of course it's a surprise. A surprise I can be dressed like this for?” I chuckled and motioned at my jeans and hoodie I’d originally come over in. He gave them a second glance over, shrugged and seemed to think it was perfectly fine for whatever the ‘surprise’ was. “Yeah, you have your sneakers too?”  
“My sneaker-skates…” I confirmed suspiciously narrowing my eyes at the male.  
“That’ll do. Got your mask and knife?” Uta grabbed his own leather ‘no face’ mask off of his dresser and tucked it away in an inner pocket.  
“My mask is in my bag downstairs on your desk, but my knife is at home. I didn’t think I needed to come prepared to stab you.…” The goth tipped his head to the side and peered at me with an expression that even after knowing him for a little while, I found hard to read.   
“Carry it with you all the time Ai-chan. Never leave it behind just because your around me. It’s your weapon that’ll keep you safe. We’ll grab it on the way. Bjorn won't like where we are going, so he needs to stay home...”  
Uta looked down at the pup and reached to gently pat his head.

The dog seemed to accept the pets with some small amount of reservation but he couldn't stop his own tail from wagging and waving about. I couldn't help the thought that 'my two bois were getting along...'

♥

Inside my pocket I gingerly touched the metallic handle of my singular weapon that would help me against a ghoul. Uta walked beside me and refused to even budge on telling me what on earth we were doing. We hadn’t jumped on the subway to head towards the 14th ward or the 20th like I’d expected, instead Uta brought me weaving around nearly abandoned or beaten down alleyways and closed storefronts. He finally climbed through a broken window of   
and old store and waved to me to come quickly. He picked up old rotting wood to show a semi-hidden entrance that dropped us down into an underground area. The very underbelly of Tokyo. 

We climbed down an old metal ladder into cool and damp air. “Welcome to the labyrinth. It’s one of the entrances to the ‘24th Ward’. It’s the best place for you to train without any Doves catching us. Don’t wander too far though, if you get lost you won’t be easy to find…”

I looked around the very dimly lit area. The ceiling was fairly high up, and the area he’d brought me to had a wide area that I admitted would be really good for training. “Uta, am I fighting you? I thought you needed to talk with Renji about this first? And I really wasn’t really expecting to be dragged out to fight tonight...”

“He bothered me until I agreed.” I turned, spotting Renji leaned up against a tall support beam that ran to the ceiling. The his eyes were on Uta who stood by my side waving his hand to greet the other ghoul. “Surprise. That's fine Aika. You might have to fight tired or after you’ve worked all day. It’s the perfect time to start.” The ghoul took my bag from my shoulders and then placed his hands on my back and gave me a gentle shove. I could see why it wouldn’t matter if I took a shower before, I’d need one after this anyway. I regretted not having a medical kit with me as well as my mask and knife. First aid would have been nice incase I got hurt.

When he’d first said that Renji could teach me to fight better I’d considered it an okay idea, but now that I stood in front of my ‘trainer’ I realized he was absolutely huge. Even if he was an ordinary human he would be able to crush me! “You have some knowledge on how to fight. You know how to fence, isn’t that right?” Renji asked me, looking down at my nervous expression. “Y-yeah. I haven't for years but I suppose I may still remember how.”

“I’ll try not to hurt you, just come try and hit me. We’ll see what we’re working with. Use the knife and don’t be afraid to hurt me. I can heal…” The silver haired ghoul took off his jacket and dropped it to the ground and held up his arms defensively. Pulling the knife from my pocket and unsheathing it; I felt...unsure. I'd never been so timid in the face of being told to attack when I'd spar before; but one of us could get really hurt! He seemed to wait patiently for me while I figured out how I might best hold a knife.

“You’re not used to using a knife are you…” He finally said when I had flipped it this way and that never finding a perfectly comfterble grip on the weapon. He dropped his arms out of a defensive position when I shook my head gently and bit the inside of my cheek. “Or being told to attack someone. I’ll figure it out eventually…”

“Alright then, try to defend yourself.” I blinked and looked up in time to see Renji moving towards me. In a moment of half blind panic I flung myself out of the way of a punch just in time. I felt my old ingrained footwork take over from fencing and my legs brought me safely out of the way of the perceived ‘danger’. Seeing an opening following the punch I swung my knife arm.  
It didn’t connect with anything but thin air.

Renji noted my mistake immediately. “It’s not a sword Aika. You swung too far away…” He turned and raised a fist for a second blow. I brought up my knife to defend and I saw the knife dig into the ghoul’s skin but the blow was too hard and sent the weapon flying from my hand leaving me defenseless. “Fuck!” I grumbled, rubbing my wrist while Renji halted his ‘attack’ to retrieve my dropped knife. 

“It’s alright Aika. I'm just testing what you can do...” I looked up from the knife being handed back to me towards the ghoul who had been harassed into helping. He peered past me towards Uta who sat quietly watching us. “Aika. Some advice. If you’ve got a reason to learn how to fight, try to concentrate on that…”

Leaving me to stew on that, he returned a short distance away and held up his arms defensively. “Come on, this time don't hesitate. Attack.” He urged me on. As I leapt forward and swung the knife around, attempting to nick the ghoul with the blade; I tried to think why I was here. Uta had brought me here. It had been his idea to have me learn to use the knife he’d given me so I could better defend myself. However the reason I'd I agreed was because because…Why?

\---Because if I wanted to tell Uta how I felt and make it work out, I didn’t want to be a burden weighing him down. I should be able to defend myself at least halfway decently! If he went and had a girlfriend who was like him he wouldn't have to worry about her and watch her back every moment! A ghoul could protect themselves!

I was tiring more quickly than I had been years before. Sweating like crazy and my breath came in sharp puffs. I’d lost some muscle mass due to my ramen diet and retail clerk lifestyle. However. The good news was that my body was starting to remember the little finesses of how to move like I used to. If I started to exercise and eat healthy again I could get back into better shape. If I could do that I felt I’d manage to actually get somewhere with enough training.

“One more time, come at me” I leapt again with the knife firmly gripped between my fingers. After almost an hour of this I’d grown less timid and more confident with myself. Dodging and side stepping around blows, I waited for an opening to show itself rather than attacking blindly. When he punched I danced around the blow and swapped the knife to my off hand behind my back. Swinging forward my dominant hand like I still held the knife in it while concealing my left.  
“Almost.” Renji said, catching the arm before I made it to his face or neck. A moment later I sank the knife successfully into the arm that held me. I heard a sharp intake of breath and he dropped my arm to look at the wound I’d managed to put in him. I let go of the knife, leaving it in his arm and backing up a few paces.

“Good; but don’t ever let go of your weapon like that.” Renji said, pulling the knife out of his arm with a little spray of blood before he healed up the stab wound. He glanced over to Uta, whom I’d almost completely forgotten about because in part: he hadn’t said a single thing through the entire training. “She’s got some potential. I suppose I’ll keep training her…”

“I wish I’d brought something to drink at least...” I said, still breathing hard. I was also quite a bit hungrier now after spending so much energy training. Renji wiped off my knife and handed it back to me. “You did well...better than Kaneki did at first. I’ll pick you up after work on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. And bring you home afterwards when it’s too dark for you to walk.”

“Alright!” I said, happy to hear from him that I’d done well and excited to continue. I turned to look at Uta who faintly smiled at me when I looked towards him. “You did great Ai-chan. That trick at the end...that was dirty---!”

“---But it was a good move.” Renji cut in. “Survival isn’t always clean or fair…”  
I glanced between them to see that between the two of them; Uta looked proud of my underhanded move and Renji looked strangely satisfied. I took a deep breath and let my heart calm down now that my ‘fight’ with Renji was over. “I’m glad I passed whatever ‘test’ you had Renji-kun. But I think I’d love to take a really hot shower now...I feel gross…”

“We’ll head back now.” Uta stood up and picked up my bag for me and held it out for me to take. I sheathed the knife and stuffed it into my pocket safely before grabbing my bag from the goth. “Thanks!~” I could already feel where I’d be having bruises from training. I was definitely going to have to try and collect Uta's bribe promise of a back-rub at some point.

“Oh! Renji-kun! Did you see or talk to the manager today? I didn’t want to bother people after last night. I know everyone can heal up quickly; but I guess I’m still worried. I’d really like to go back to work soon.”

“I stopped by the shop before heading here. He’s alright. Just cleaning up the last bits of the shop. You should call or try visiting tomorrow.” I nodded and then pinched Uta’s arm which got his attention pretty quick. “We should both go and see him, on the way we can pick up a new pair of sunglasses for you! Unless Renji-kun thinks your old sunglasses will work?”

“No. They still look ridiculous.”  
“So cruel, Renji-kun. They looked cute on Ai-chan didn’t they?” Uta slung an arm around my shoulders and pulled me close while grinning at Renji. The silver haired ghoul kept his eyes ahead of us as we headed towards the ladder that led up to the main street level. “Better than you…”

I rolled my eyes and laughed. “Uta-kun, I like them at least. It’s just silly they don’t cover your eyes at all.” Renji started to climb up first and then waved us up after the coast was clear. I started climbing up as quickly as I could despite my tired limbs with Uta following behind to make up the tail. Halfway up the bottom of my sneaker squeaked and slipped over a metal rung almost sending me back down towards the ground nearly fifteen feet below and pulling from me a strangled yelp of surprise.  
Behind me Uta stopped, tense and waiting for me to completely lose my grip. “You’re okay. If you fall I’ll catch you…” I took a breath and forced myself to continue upwards; more carefully making sure my sneakers didn’t slip on the bars and white knuckling the bars with my hands.

I was pretty happy to be back on solid ground above the underground tunnels by the time I got up. Thankfully I had no more ‘slip’ ups that might cause any untimely deaths. I turned to Renji and bowed my head briefly. “Thank you Renji.” I smiled, looking back up at the silver haired ghoul. “I know you said Uta bothered you coming, but I’m really thankful. I’m looking forward to learning to defend myself better.”

He nodded and then looked down as Uta crawled his way up onto the solid ground with us. Uta dragged the lid to the entrance back to it’s spot and dropped it back in place with a small clatter. Looking around and out the broken windows; he made sure nobody had seen us come and go from the underground entrance. “Coast is clear, we should head back Ai-chan. Thanks Renji…I owe you one.”

Renji nodded and started to walk away from Uta and myself. In the quiet left behind I muttered. “I’m really hungry…and thirsty.” ‘My’ ghoul glanced down at me with an amused expression. “Want to stop someplace?” 

“Yes! The grocery store!!! I think I need to buy something besides ramen!”

♥

Uta peered curiously at my choice of food from the store. He had followed me around; more quietly than the first time he’d gone with me while I’d picked up some healthier options. It wasn’t until I’d gotten back to the ghouls house that I remembered they’d require that I’d cook them for real...which was a small issue since I didn’t have a proper stove. Or know how to cook very proficiently.  
“I didn’t think this through…” I said, looking at the raw steak, chicken and the collection of vegetables that I’d picked up. “How so…?” Uta asked while reaching to pick up a package of raw red meats that didn’t look too different from his own food.

“I can’t cook these in a microwave and I’ve got no pots or pans to cook on either…I guess that’s why I’ve been living on ramen for so long. That and the fact it was really easy. I’m not exactly the BEST cook...” Uta continued to peer at the food closely. Holding the steak he sniffed at the bloody package. “You can use my stove. I don’t have any pots though…”

“You wouldn’t mind? I’ll clean up any mess! I’ll have to find some cheap pots and pans...We can check when we look for sunglasses tomorrow.”  
Uta put down the animal meat and peered at me with his head tipped to one side. “This is unusual for your normal diet, isn’t it? Pancakes and ramen…?” I laughed and avoided looking at him. I was actually suddenly embarrassed about my frankly terrible diet. It was pretty bad that he knew me well enough to know my terrible diet down to a T and call me out on it. “Yeah. Those aren't the best foods for humans...I realized when fighting Renji that I’d lost a bit of my old muscle. Plus I was more winded that I should have been…”   
I was also starting to realize what sort of rut I'd been in. I should really treat myself better…There was no reason I should always dress in sweatpants and eat nothing but ramen.

Speaking of taking care of myself; after today I really deserved a hot shower to relax away aches and pains and get rid of the sweat from that workout. “Tonight will have to be Ramen again. Tomorrow if I find pots while shopping I’ll be back over to try and cook! As long as that’s okay?”

The ghoul nodded and watched me place my food back into their plastic shopping bags to be brought back to my home. “I need to head home now, I have a really hot shower with my name on it!~”

“...okay. Goodnight Ai-chan.” I smiled and waved as I left the ghouls art studio and headed back towards my own home; humming happily despite my sore limbs and bruised flesh.  
Today was a good day!

♥

I knocked on Uta’s front door and then let myself in the next day after I’d woke up and taken care of a few things. Near noon I found the ghoul sitting at his desk as per-usual. “Oh hello!” I jumped and blinked into the dim light; finding a small almost childlike girl standing nearby and grinning at me. She had brown eyes and short, chin length brown hair with a cute little collection of flyaway hairs that stood up on top. “Oh, hello! How are you?” I answered as friendly as I could and shot a curious glance towards Uta. Being that she was inside while his shop was still closed for business I figured he must know her personally...and she was likely a ghoul since he was in no way hiding his eyes.

“Ai-chan, this is Roma. She’s a friend. Roma, this is Aika.” Uta’s eyes flicked back and forth a few times as we were introduced. I turned to the girl and gave her a friendly smile. “Oh, well then It’s lovely to meet you Roma!”

The girl bound up close to me and stood on the tips of her toes. “Uta! You’ve got a human pet? Naughty! Since when? She smells good!~” I didn’t bother to correct her, only pouting as yet again another ghoul called me Uta’s pet. ‘This is just how they’ll see me, it doesn't mean it’s true’ I thought to myself as Uta spoke up. “She’s been friends for a few months.”  
“Ooooh? We can’t eat her then…?”  
“No.” He replied firmly.

“Shoot. Alright...Fiiine!~” The girl turned her attention back on myself and smiled as though she hadn’t just declared her desire to take a bite out of me. “Guess you're safe! Thanks for the haircut Uta! I’ve got to check in on some other people now that I’m out!~ I’ll be back later sometime!”

I watched her leave and then turned to Uta with a raised eyebrow. “Another one from that group of friends?” He nodded his head. “Yeah she is.” He stood and picked up a broom to sweep away some of the hair that had fallen to the floor.

“You know, so far between you, Renji, Itori, Nico and Roma you're sort of...an oddball bunch of people…taking a look at you all someone would never have guessed that you’re all friends. Speaking of Nico, is he alright? I mean he was with Aogiri…"

“I haven't heard from Nico since then, you’d have to ask Itori. And Renji isn’t exactly...in our group…” I raised an eyebrow at this particular distinction that Uta made; excluding the silver haired ghoul from his group of ‘friends’ even though he was clearly Uta’s friend. “He’s your friend though.” I said, stating the obvious with an upraised eyebrow. I carefully sat myself down on his measuring stool and considered Uta’s expression. “...but there’s more to it than just being your group of ‘friends’. Isn’t there?”

“You know ghouls will sometimes form gangs, or groups like a pack with similar goals...” Uta continued talking while he knelt to sweep the hair into a dustpan. “...our group isn’t very organized like others such as Aogiri and we all sort of do what we please. But...yes. There’s more to it.” He stood up straight, dumped the hair and then peered at me expectantly. I stared back; eyebrows lofted and waiting....when no further explanation came from the male I shrugged my shoulders. 

“...is that supposed to mean something to me?”

Uta seemed more hesitant to talk about his ghoul circle of friends now, and I wondered how bad they could possibly be. "The group is a bit infamous. But I suppose you might never have heard of us. It's been a while since any of us gathered anywhere for something. The Clowns were once pretty big in the 3rd ward...before the CCG tried to wipe us out."

I bit my lip and considered Uta carefully. Hearing he was in some ghoul gang was hardly the worst thing. He ate people for heaven's sake. If that hadn’t frightened me off…  
“Okaaaay. So the rest of this ‘ghoul gang’ won’t hurt me...will they? I mean...you guys arn’t running around wrecking shit up like Aogiri. Are you?”

“Not at the moment. I’ll make sure they don’t hurt...don’t worry. We just do things for comedy so we don't get bored or go insane... Nico, Roma and Itori all know you now. They won't hurt you.” I nodded and then shrugged my shoulders. “It is what it is. I guess as long as I’m not dragged into anything too crazy…and they won’t hurt me. Did you say Clowns?”  
The ghoul nodded and set aside the broom back where it belonged before returning to his desk chair.  
“She’s one of the ghouls who escaped during the detention center raid the other night…” He explained, placing an eye on his tongue and rolling it around. “She came to say hello and check on what’s been happening over the years…”

"See! I told you someone you knew might have gotten out! That’s great right?” I walked up behind him and placed my hands over his shoulder to lean over and grin at him. “Oh Hey!" I tore my cell phone out of my pocket when I remembered something. "That sneaky woman!!!" Uta stared at me with wide, questioning eyes as I swiped down in my phone contacts. I held up the phone where he could see the 🤡 that Itori had been placed at the end of her contact name.   
"...that's not very subtle."  
"No. Not at all, but I suppose without context I didn't understand fully…”

Aika: You really be over here putting clowns in ur contact name, u sneaky lady!  
Itori🤡: Uta tell you? 🤡  
Aika: Yeah, by the way we need to chat about when to throw that 🥳 Guess we’ll be covered on the clowns at a party though!~  
Itori🤡: Okay! I’ll text you later when I can start planning! Busy rit now!  
Itori 🤡: That’s an awful joke Aika!!!

I laughed seeing her respond to my stupid joke. Peering up I saw Uta curious looking at me and my phone. “Something funny?”  
“Kind of, just talking with Itori.” I grinned, held my finger to my lips and winked. Despite how curious he seemed about it it was something he'd just have to find out later. “Anyway, you and I are supposed to go out shopping today and check in on Yoshimura! You said the old man was hurt the other night, but I suppose he’d be fine by now…”

“--Unless of course you've work you need to get done before you open back up, I can always come back with a pair of sunglasses that look pretty similar to the ones you had; if you’d like?”  
Uta took a minute to look around the shop, flipped through some of his work sketchbooks. How he differentiated between work and fun sketchbooks I didn’t know. “...I do have some orders I need to get done…”

“--But, after seeing Roma again I feel like getting out for some fresh air.” He set down the sketchbook and collected a long black, slim cut coat meant for colder weather. “...you’ll be here later to cook anyway, you could help me out in the shop?” 

“Of course!” I answered immediately. “Whatever you need help with!”  
I happily bounced on the balls of my feet while he got his jacket on and turned off his desk lamp. I peered at his face closely and bit my lip. Even though I largely didn’t notice his eyes were different anymore, they were pretty obvious to other people. That would have to be taken care of first. “Sunglasses will be our first stop! Hopefully nobody says anything about you before then…” I assumed, or at least hoped that even without sunglasses he could somewhat hide or duck his head so that people didn’t spot and decide to scream right away. Afterall, if they’d always been that way then he should be used to it by now.

I noticed right away as we walked out of the back streets that Uta did duck his head, looking at the ground rather than in front of him like he normally did. I reached over and hooked my arm with his and smiled when he lifted his eyes up to look into mine. “Come’on, this way! There’s a cute store down this way that I know has a big sunglasses rack to pick from!”

I gently tugged the ghoul in the direction of the store and he followed my lead. I realized something after we’d been walking a little ways and we’d passed a few people. Linked arm in arm we probably looked like a couple. Again. Plus, since Uta kept his head lowered; to the rest of the world he looked like he was shy.

“U--ugh. Here we are!” I motioned at the store front and let go of his arm finally. “Pick out some you like!”

He hesitated but entered the store after I did, following closely behind as I headed for the sunglass racks. I picked up a few and started trying on a few and peeking in the mirror to see them.  
“Hey! How can I help you!” I turned and peeked over a blue tinted pair of sunglasses at the grinning store employee. “Hum? Ah! We’re okay, just looking for a pair to replace his old ones he lost. Thanks!~”  
“Oh?” The sales clerk leaned and tried to see Uta’s face and the ghoul leaned away from her, turning his head a bit to hide his eyes. “I could recommend some? Can I see your face sir?”  
I took a step in between her and Uta; smiling. Outwardly I tried to look friendly, but on the inside she had me on edge and oddly defensive of ‘my’ ghoul. If she saw his face, she’d see his eyes. If she saw his eyes she’d scream. If she screamed...

“I think we’re fine with picking our own, really. Thank you anyway…”  
“Are you sure, it can be difficult to find a pair that match your face shape---”  
“Yeah, we’re fine.” I said, cutting her off a bit rudely. The poor girl narrowed her eyes at me and frowned. “Very well then...I hope you find what you're looking for.”

“Thanks…” Uta said, looking up at me with a pair of sunglasses. Red. They didn’t hide his eyes at all. If anything they made them more obvious. “Uta. No. Those just make them look super bright.” I whisper, pulling the glasses off the chuckling ghoul. “Black ones. Dark tint. Like…” I picked over a few and picked up a pair that were pretty similar to his old ones. “These. Try this.”

Uta took them and slid them onto his face. I sighed; relieved that they actually did hide his eyes from prying people’s gazes. “Those are perfect...see.” I pointed at the tiny mirror on the sunglasses rack and waited while he examined them for himself. “You like them?”  
“Yeah, they look good Uta.” I glanced at the red pair in his hand and then chuckled. “If you want those too to annoy Renji that’s fine. I’ll buy you both!~”

“Ai-chan you don’t have to--”  
I interrupted him by raising my hand and tapping his chin with my index finger. “It’s my fault you lost your other pair. Going to the movies was my idea...The least I could do is replace them. Yoshimura is going to pay me for the little ‘vacation’ anyway. And if I need any other reason - I want to!~ You can pay for wherever we go next time. Okay Uta-kun?”

I reached up and plucked the glasses off his face to get the tag that hung on it so he could wear them up to the cashier. He peered down at the other pair of sunglasses in his hands. “Next time? Where are we going next?”  
“You’re choice!~” I chirped happily as I pushed the black glasses over the bridge of his nose again to hide away his eyes. “There we go. Come’on. I’m going to go pay for these. I can’t wait to see Renji’s face...you’ve gotta tell him these are your new glasses to hide your eyes.”

I took the tag and the second pair of glasses up to the counter and smiled. “Here. He wanted to wear those out. Here’s the tag. Thanks for your help.” The woman sneered at me. “Yeah, right…” Surprised, I blinked in the face of her hostility since it didn’t seem proportional to simply cutting her off earlier. “Hum?”

“Ai-chan, How’s this hat?” I turned to see Uta with a huge straw sun hat over his head and blank expression scrawled across his face. “W-what the heck? No.” I laughed, distracted from the sneering woman completely.

When we left the store the goth ghoul once again walked with his head up high and watched around us.I didn’t immediately resume clutching to his arm, afterall it wasn’t likely he’d bump into anybody now and he knew where we were going. However, when we went to get on the train to head to the 20th ward I looked around at all the people in the ground and suddenly feared getting separated from Uta with all those people. With people jam packed into the subway cars like tunna there was also the fear of being touched by so many strangers.

I reached and slipped my arm around his once again. I looked down; avoiding whatever expression he might have on his face. “T-there’s a lot of people. I don’t want to get separated. I normally don’t have to deal with this many...it’s probably a lunch rush…”

When we got onto the train there was no place to sit so we stood packed close together. I muttered apologies as another man bumped into me and turned to glare. “Sorry!”  
Uta wrapped his arms around me, pulled me a little closer and set his chin on the top of my head. “...lots of people…” He said, looking around at all the people gathered in one place.  
I wondered suddenly how many ghouls there could be on this same subway. Also, did we look like a bunch of sardines trapped in a cage to them?.

We carefully shuffled off the subway at our stop, shoving our way through the ocean of people to get out before the train left the station into the fresh, clean(er) air of the city. At least it wasn’t stale and recycled through other people’s lungs or the terrible air system. “Oh god. I can finally breathe again.” I took a deep inhale of fresh air and exhaled. “That was just terrible! It’s busy in the morning when I come to work, but never that bad…”

“If you don’t like the train maybe Renji could drive you? Or I could---”  
“Nah, Uta. It’s fine. I’m fine with it really! I don’t need you or anybody to go out of their way to get me to work.” I chuckled gently. “Thank you though. Now if it’s after dark that’s a different story---I might call you to come pick me up. After last time...”

He nodded his head briefly. “Unless you want to pick up more muggers for me to eat. I’m running low on food...” I glanced up at the ghoul by my side; momentarily unsure what to say. He’d said it as a joke but it reminded me that he WOULD have to go soon for ‘food’. “Oh, really. Is that so?” The words sounded and felt dull and lifeless even as it came from my mouth. I could see that it had gotten Uta’s attention immediately as well. “...Aika?”

“Hum?”

“...” He dropped his new glasses down his nose to peer at me. “...are you okay? You know I’d have to go hunting soon again, didn’t you?”  
“I...honestly Uta I hadn’t even thought of it.” Kind of how I’d conveniently forgotten that the meat he’d been chowing down on this entire time had been my own would-be mugger. Whoops.  
“Sorry, I’m fine. I just didn’t know what to say...when do you have to…?” --Go out and murder someone?

“In the next couple days...I’ve just got the gift you gave me and a single box of meat left. I normally don’t let my supply drop this low…” The ghoul continued to eye me from the corner of his as we walked. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine.”  
“You are fine with that?”  
“With what?”  
“My hunting?”

I peered at him, eyebrows furrowing together with irritation. “Uta. Don’t ask silly questions…”  
“It’s not…” He said calmly, but I didn’t reply to him as we passed a few other pedestrians minding their own business. “Aika…?” He said, demanding a reply from me. “Aika. Answer me please…”  
When we were alone again on the street I stopped walking and turned on him.  
“It is! It is a very silly question Uta…” I looked around, double checking to make sure we were totally alone and nobody was overhearing me speak just above a whisper. “ ‘Are you okay with me hunting a person and killing them?’ That’s what you THINK you’re asking. But you're not. You're asking me if I am okay with you eating. Uta, I know you need to EAT. I need to eat. Everybody needs to eat. It’s a basic need for every living thing. It’s not like you’re capable of eating anything else; so I’m not going to sit here and argue about it or worse get angry at you for it...just...” I hesitated and looked up at him with pleading eyes. “...tell me you don’t kill people with kids or something sick like that…” It didn’t even have to be the truth; I’d accept a lie. Just so long as I didn’t have to ‘know’ about it.

”I don’t generally target those types of people unless it’s my only option. Maybe I can ease your mind…?” He said gently, taking a step closer and raising a hand to brush the hair out of my face. “Ghoul investigators, anti-ghoul protesters, criminals...the 4th ward is pretty good hunting grounds for those types of people...I only followed you home once and found one afterall...”

I leaned forward, laid my forehead on his chest and nodded. “...yeah.” It wasn’t exactly a good testament of my character that it DID ease my mind just a little that those were the types he went after a majority of the time. “I won’t tell you who I’ve hunted down, how about that?” I nodded again staying quiet. I’d do my best to ignore the list of missing persons they displayed on the newspapers and television news. “..could you warn me not to come over while you’re…er…”  
“I’ll warn you when I have a dead body. You won’t have to see them. Okay?”  
I nodded again and leaned back away from him again. “So. Are you alright?” He asked again.  
I looked up into Uta’s eyes, glasses pulled off to look me in the eye. “Yeah. Uta I’m good. Don’t run out of food dummy...I don’t wanna get bit by you.”  
“You sure? I’ll bite gently!~” His lips twitched up into a smile and then added: “I’ll go soon…I’m surprised you’re not going to ask that I eat like the ghouls at Anteiku.” He said quietly as we started walking away towards the cafe in question.

“No. I don’t expect you to change your diet Uta.”

We walked the rest of the way to the cafe in silence that I broke by knocking on the front door that said: “Closed”. It took a minute but I saw the manager look out the front window and spot us. Upon seeing us he went to the door and opened it with a smile on his face. “Ms. Aika and Uta too. How are you?”

“We’re good, Sir! I came over to check on you! Can we come in for a minute?”  
“Yes, of course.” He held open the door and let myself and Uta inside where we sat down at the counter as he went back to wiping down the counters. “It’s good to see you again, I’m afraid I don’t have much else for you to do today...everything is cleaned up.”

I folded my arms over the counter and smiled at the old ghoul. “Actually I didn’t come here for work today. I came to check on my boss! Uta said you got some injuries in the fight. Are you doing okay?” The old man stopped wiping the counter and gave me a curious look over, cracking his eyes open just a crack. “Yes, you are aware that ghouls are more resilient than humans…?”

“And you heal faster. I know...I guess I just figured I’d check in that everything was okay anyway…” I fiddled with my fingers on the counter and glanced away briefly to look at all the shining mugs on the wall. It was a bit awkward since he was absolutely fine by the looks of it, but on his face he wore a kind smile. “Thank you Aika, that’s sweet of you…” The manager's eyes turned to Uta and tipped his head. “...” I caught the look and grinned. “I gave him the eyes, thank you again!”   
“They are delicious.” Uta remarked from the seat next to me.  
“While I was here I also wanted to know if you had an idea when the cafe would open up again. I actually miss work. Which is something I didn’t think I’d ever say!”

“Ah, yes. I was considering next monday. You have today and the weekend before we can go back to normal. I was planning on calling everyone tonight to let them know.” I lit up hearing it was going to be so soon, but I’d have a few days to plan. Maybe...we could have Uta’s Birthday Party on Sunday! Two days from now and before I had to work again. That would be doable.

“Would you be able to take an extra shift or stay longer on some nights? Without Kaneki I’m afraid we’ll be short on staff. Especially with Touka taking tests.”  
I nodded immediately. “Yeah, sure. I have no problem with that...er. Except not Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays…”  
“Yomo is teaching her to defend herself.” Uta supplied and continued. “I have an acquaintance who will need a job. I can introduce you.” The manager and I both turned to look at Uta curious, but I kept quiet. “When Anteiku is back okay I’ll swing by with her.” Uta turned to me and motioned to go. “We have some other things to pick up today.”

“RIGHT!” I stood up out of my seat. “Pots and pans! I almost forgot!” I took another look over the old ghoul another time. He did look completely okay and I let myself fully relax. “I’m glad you are all okay, and you were able to save Eyepatch. Even if he didn’t want to come back. And I’m excited to come back to work soon; I’ll see you here on Monday!”

“---come on Uta! Hurry! I’m hungry and I want to try cooking!” Uta stood to follow out the door, waving over his shoulder at the old peaceful ghoul. “Have a goodnight Sir.”

♥

I stood looking between two different sets of pots and pans. The prices were different, but they looked the same to me. “Uta-kun, do you see any difference between these two?” I held up one pot in one hand and another in the other. “Not really…”

“...so I’m not crazy.” The ghoul chuckled as I examined them both dubious. I had beelined my way into the cheapest area of the store because I really didn’t see the point in ‘expensive’ pots. I just needed it to cook on. I wasn’t using it to show off or anything.

How could the cost of pots and pans really range between 3000 yen, and 53,000 yen?  
Those on the higher end didn’t LOOK much different, but they were labeled for ‘professional’ use. “Oh well. I picked up the box of cookware and nodded at a few things I’d need. “Uta, can you grab that stirring spoon and a spatula, a strainer and...some silverware. No, not that one. The cheaper one under it. Yeah.”

The ghoul followed me with arms full of little things while I hauled the large box onto the cashiers counter. I looked up and spotted the same clerk who had been here last time and mistaken Uta as my boyfriend. “U-uh...Hi again.”

“More kitchenware?” Her eyes darted between us again;clearly trying to judge if we WERE together this time. “Was this all you needed?” Blushing awkwardly I nodded my head, not trusting my voice. “Okay, your total comes to...6672 yen.”

I had my wallet out halfway before Uta handed over money for it. “Uta! I---”  
“I got it. They’re for my house aren't they…?”

“Well...yeah. I suppose, but-!”  
“I’ll get them.”

I stood there blinking helplessly as the ghoul paid for the cookware and picked up the box set of pots and pans. “Ai-chan. Can you get the bag. I’ll carry this. It’s heavy…” I glanced at the clerk who smiled sweetly and handed me the bag full of miscellaneous cooking and kitchen supplies. “Have a goodnight!~ Thank you for stopping by!” She cheered happily as she watched us both leave the homegoods store.

“T-thank you Uta. You really didn’t need to do that!”

“Like I said, they’ll be at my house since you don’t have a stove.” He shifted the box in his arms.  
“Yeah but you don’t cook…” I paused and then asked: “...could you even cook?”

“Hum?” Uta glanced over the box in his arms at me as we walked side by side down the sidewalk. “What do you mean?”  
“The meat I mean...I know you can’t eat anything else but have you tried cooking it? I’ve only seen you stuff it in your face raw…” Seeing the blank expression persist on the ghouls face I blushed and looked away. “Don’t stare like that! It was only a question!”

“I don’t know. I’ve never tried to cook anything like that.” There was another pause and we walked in silence for a little ways before he spoke up again. “Ai-chan...Would you cook for me?”  
“Cook for you…?” I opened and closed my mouth a few times like a fish out of water. Cook for him human meat!?

“I...will think about it?” I said finally, keeping my eyes on the concrete under my shoes as we moved forwards. “I’m not exactly the best cook to begin with...everything was cooked for me growing up. So this is going to be an experiment I suppose...with lots of cooking instructions from the internet!” I peered up from the ground, cautiously looking to see Uta’s expression again.   
“Alright. I thought I’d ask since you brought it up. Now I’m curious. But Aika; It’s okay to say no if that makes you uncomfortable.”   
“Okay, I’ll think about it…” I had concerns about cooking the human meat; primarily if we could even eat it like that. I suppose it wouldn’t be too much harm in trying to cook a tiny piece experimentally to see if he could stomach it and would even want anything else cooked...

When we got to the shop front the ghoul peered over his glasses and then nodded with his arms full. “My left coat pocket has my keys. Can you grab them?” I took a step closer and carefully dug my hands into the pocket for the keys. My hand slipped by his leather mask, a piece of paper, a receipt and then...found a metallic ring of keys.

I pulled them out and unlocked the front door, opening it wide for the ghoul holding the large box and shutting and relocking it behind him as well. I did the same with the doors heading up the stairs and into his living quarters. “Ai-chan set that bag there. Go head home and get your food you need to cook tonight...I’ll unpack these.”

Uta shed his long coat and flung it over the back of the couch between beginning to pull open the cardboard box.

“Okay! I’ll be right back. Bjorn will be with me; okay?”  
I heard a sound of approval from the ghoul and I headed back down the stairs and out the door with Uta’s set of keys once again. I pondered what I should make tonight...the first real cooked meal I’d made for myself. The microwaved experimental cooking didn’t count!

Bjorn hopped up and down as I fed him his dinner. I waited for him to eat and then had him follow me out of the house with both one of his toys and my bag of groceries in hand. I peered up at the sky as I walked following Bjorn who knew just where we were going. “Hard to believe it’s almost Chrismass isn’t it bear-bear…”  
I unlocked the front door again and stepped inside the much warmer building. “Uta! I’m baaaack!” I shouted up the stairs and followed Bjorn who bound up them into the apartment above.

I peered around the apartment while I kicked off my shoes at the door. I found Uta watching the pots and pans in his sink.”

“I’m curious to see you cook something…human food seems almost like art.” Uta remarked, turning his head to look at me. “I can’t wait to see me cook something too!” I replied humorously chuckling. “I’m not sure about it being art unless it’s just a first draft..” He smiled and turned back to watch what he was doing in the sink. “You had a cook growing up?” I shifted uncomfortably and sighed. “Yeah…”

“Did I say something wrong?” Uta said, noticing my reaction.

“No.It’s fine...I guess I’m a bit awkward about that sort of thing. I suppose I’m afraid people will look at me like I was spoiled as a child since I grew up on a private estate with cooks, maids and butlers doing everything for me...it’s a far cry from here. When I got out there were just a lot of things I couldn’t do on my own because I didn’t know how…” I collected up the discarded cardboard and wrappings and packed them all into the largest box, stuffing it full and then sitting on it. “I still haven't really tried to cook for real...But I saw a video online I intended on following along with. I figure I can’t screw up that badly if I just do what they do…”

“When you first showed up I could tell you didn’t grow up here right away.”  
“Yeah…” I said, laughing softly. “I accidentally let slip more than I intended when I first met you. I guess it hadn’t even occurred to me how people around here wouldn’t go on hunting trips or learn to fence…I suppose that might have come off as spoiled…”

“--Aika, you never came off as being spoiled.” He stared at me from the corner of his eyes. “Even though you didn’t have much you still brought me coffee everyday…at first I thought it was because you wanted your mask done sooner; but I was proved wrong when you said you were in no rush for it. Instead you were interested in spending time in my shop and seeing my other work...it was curious. Everyone else's first question is normally ‘when will it be done’.”

I peered curious up at the ghoul from my cardboard throne.I hadn’t even given a thought about the cost of the coffee I’d brought him; but I suppose it would add up over weeks. Moreover, he had appreciated my coffee gifts much more than I’d even given thought to giving them to him. Regardless of the amount of money I had for myself; I had been happy to buy him a coffee.  
“...you seemed to like them, I thought they’d brighten up your day a bit. So I just...kept bringing them.” I muttered, embarrassment settling in. It was really nice to hear that I wasn’t like my parents. Rich and full of themselves. Selfimportant and unwilling to admit it.  
Their business was good. It helped a lot of people; or had the potential to but that didn’t make them gods or other people less important.

Uta placed the last pot aside to dry and dried his hands. “That’s not something a selfish or spoiled person would do.”

“I’m sure you’ll cook fine...your coffee turns out wonderfully everytime.”

I stood up and walked into the kitchen. “Should I take that as a ‘please make me coffee Aika’?”  
Uta’s lip ring twitched in place as he fought a smile. “Yes please…”

While I prepared a cup of coffee for the both of us the ghoul pulled out the last tupperware box full of human meat and wolfed it down.

♥


	28. Chapter 28: Cooking

“Annnnnd one coffee for you!~” I happily grinned as I placed a fresh cup of plain black coffee in front of the goth ghoul lounging on his couch. “Thanks Ai-chan.”  
I picked up my phone from the coffee table and scrolled through my open tabs until I found the one I wanted. It was a page about a beginner level meal; easily made and didn’t require much. Pan-seared steak. All it required was salt, pepper and a tiny bit of butter or oil so it wouldn't burn up. Easy…

Mashed potatoes were pretty straight forward and would go well together with the steak by the looks of things. They just needed to be boiled until soft, and mashed up with butter and milk...

What's the worst thing that could happen if I followed these to the letter!?

I took a deep breath, pulled out a knife and began peeling and chopping up the potatoes and placed them aside. One of my new pots was filled halfway with water so it would boil. That would be for the potatoes once it heated up. While I waited for the water to boil I picked up the meat. I did a quick check; making double sure that it was steak and not anything else. When you were in a ghoul's home you couldn't be too careful you were not accidentally eating anything you shouldn't be.   
The website I was on said to put a small slice of butter into a pan on medium-high heat and wait for it to get really hot before putting the steak onto it.  
The woman in a short clip explained to generously apply as much or as little salt and pepper as desired to both sides of the steak and then drop it onto the pan for a solid 3 minutes, each side until it was crispy and seared.

When the butter melted and started to bubble I carefully placed a salt and pepper slathered steak on the pan and waited; watching it like a hawk to make sure I didn’t overdo it. Briefly I glanced up to find that Uta had gotten up and came to the doorway between the kitchen and living room to watch my attempt to cook.

“How’s it going?”  
“I don’t know yet honestly. I guess it's a bit of trial and error?”

“The water is boiling.” He nodded at the pot I’d started earlier. Turning to it quickly I picked up the peeled and chopped potatos and tried to carefully pour them in. “Shootshitfuck!” When a small splash-back landed on my arm I yelped, swore and almost flung the remaining produce on the floor on accident. “Careful.” Uta said as I dropped the plate of cut potatoes back down onto the counter and cringed and waving my arm all about; as thought that may ease the pain. A few drops of water didn’t do all that much damage to me but it did sting like a bitch.  
“Fuck that hurt!”

“Allow me?” The ghoul took a step forward, picked up the rest of the potatoes from the counter and carefully finished dumping them into the boiling water. He peered down at the steak I had over the heat. “Ai-chan… Are you aware that’s burning.”

I looked up from an angry red mark on my arm to see that he was right. There was clearly a thin trail of smoke coming up from the steaks pan now. “Fuuuuck!” I leapt for the spatula and flipped it onto the other side; mildly disappointed to find that the one side was a LITTLE darker than it should have been. But...it could have been worse and it would still be edible. I let out a short sigh and stared intently over the stove again; determined not to allow the other side to burn. Just to make sure I dropped another bit of butter into the pan to melt.

“...How does it smell to you?” Uta asked, taking a few sniffs over my food. I took my turn inhaling the scent...and was actually relieved to find that it smelled pretty good. It definitely had my mouth watering. “Despite fucking it up a bit. It's not bad actually. It’s not ruined at least. I’m definitely going to need some practice." And I was very sure I’d want a LOT more practice with steak before I even tried to cook a piece of human meat for Uta. Did I want to be responsible for burning part of his food and wasting it?  
No way.

"What does human food smell like to you?” I asked the ghoul curiously. To me it smelled really good. Made my mouth water and my stomach clench up knowing it was going to get it's meal soon. For ghouls that was reserved for human meat. It was hard to forget something like that when you were reminded every once in a while that your friend thought you smelled delicious. But to him how did a bakery or other such good shop smell? Bad?   
Or...like a candle shop. Good but completely inedible.

“...the smell got stronger after you started to heat it up.” He leaned closer to take another set of sniffs at my food. "It's not terrible smelling; it's just not appetizing and you know it tastes foul for us..."

I nodded, looking back down at my steak. Dead cow. How many of these did WE kill each year...? There were people who were veterinarian or vegan for that very reason. "Just wanted to make sure I'm not smelling up your house with something gross for you..."

“No. It's fine. While you're doing that; I’ll take Bjorn out. Alright?” I nodded, but glanced over dubiously while Uta tried to call Bjorn over to the door. Uta had fetched and was now holding his leash in one hand and patting his leg with the other. The ghoul only received a blank stare from the dog for his efforts. Bjorn swung his head around to watch me and see what I thought of this spectacle.  
Between both Uta's and Bjorn's stares I cracked up and couldn’t help but to giggle helplessly. Uta finally walked over and hooked the leash to the dog's collar; still trying to get Bjorn to go with him out the door. 

I snickered watching as Bjorn not only did not go with Uta, but straight up pulled the ghoul towards the kitchen where I stood cooking and sat his butt down to stare at me.

After watching the ghoul get tugged along behind the dog I cheerfully snickered. "I'm sure your strong enough to lift him...but I thought I mentioned that the leash is for show. He'll only follow you if he wants to. I was surprised when you told me you took him out this morning while I slept...if he’s not following you, you might as well give up."  
I stirred the pot of potatoes and watched the meat carefully, but I continued to be distracted with the ghoul and dog antics in the next room. I couldn't help snickering when I heard Uta trying once again to call the dog in vain before finally give up; muttering under his breath. “Stubborn…”

“He just doesn't like leaving me to go with anybody else. It’s been just us for as long as he remembers...I'll take him out later. Thank you for trying Uta-kun."

I poked at the steak and couldn't see any more pink, so it might just be done. According to the lady on the internet page it SHOULD be completely cooked through. I turned off the heat and took the pan off the hot element. Placing the steak on a plate stared down at it. I had a weird sense of pride about this. Sure it wasn't perfect. It was a little dark. However, in all honesty it was not bad for a first attempt. The old cooks at my family estate would be horrified and forbidden me to eat it; but after so long of having ramen this had to be better!  
Plus, I hadn't burned down the house!

I peered over the boiling potatoes curiously; wondering how I was supposed to tell if they were soft. I had forgotten to set a timer which might have helped me determine how long they’d been in there at least. Was there really anything particularly bad that could happen if they were in there longer than they 'should' be? It didn't seem like they were burning as long as there was still water in with them.

I grabbed a fork and stabbed out a potato to place it in a bowl and poke at it; testing to see if it was soft enough to mash. The fork punctured it pretty easily. I shrugged my shoulders and figured that it should be fine. Carefully, I tried pouring out the hot water from the potatoes, constantly fighting to keep one's floating on top from fleeing out of the pot with the water and into the sink drain.

After all the water I could manage to get out was drained I added a little milk and butter and began attempting to mash them up with a fork. It wasn’t going as smoothly as I would have hoped. There was likely a tool that would have helped but I did not have it here. Yet. Uta’s kitchen was looking pretty lived in right now - which wasn’t a terrible thing if he needed to ever trick someone. Soon his cupboards would be filled with pots and pans and cookware that he otherwise wouldn’t strictly require. Not that he seemed to mind what-so-ever. All of it was because of me. If I was going to cook I really was going to be over here pretty often...and so far the ghoul seemed pretty welcoming for that.

The end result was a bowl of mashed potatoes on the lumpier side but after struggling for a while I figured it was as good as it was going to get. Frankly: I was done with attempting to cook for the night. It was quite a lot of effort for food. More than I'd ever put into getting a meal for much of my own life. I double checked the heat was off all the stove tops and piled all my food onto a plate to take into the living room.

“Done?” Uta questioned as I took a seat down next to him and shoveled a bite that may have been slightly too big for polite company into my mouth. My stomach growled despite it's current needs being appeased with food. I took a moment more to consider as I munched. “Yeah... definitely a first draft.” A bite out of the steak made me shrug my shoulders non-committedly. “It’s not terrible. But I don’t think I’m cooking for you any time soon. It’s still healthier than ramen packs and junk food...”

“I imagine so..." The gave me a look, glancing from me to my food. "Have you decided to eat healthier?”  
I nodded with a chunk of meat in my mouth. It was a bit tougher than I would have had when I was younger but it still tasted good. “Yeah. I suppose if Renji’s going to put in the work to actually teach me to fight I might as well try to be in better condition…” And if I had people who cared about me even a little bit I should try and give a damn about my own health. Wouldn't it suck to have a heart attack at thirty-five after I'd actually gotten some good friends?

“Giving up cake and pancakes?”  
I rolled my eyes and glanced up at Uta. “Quit teasing. Maybe my diet won't be entirely healthy. I’ll have to save those sorts of things for a rare treat. Having them once in a while won’t hurt me. What’s really going to suck is cutting back on the sugar I have in my coffee…” I whined softly between bites. Drinking PURE black coffee simply wasn’t an option - but cutting down on the amount I had in it would help a little.

Bjorn came up and sat down; watching me as I ate the rest of my steak. When I was almost done I took the last small piece and tossed it to the dog who caught it in his jaws and happily wagged his tail. “Good boy.”   
I took a moment to sit back, lay my hands over my stomach and close my eyes. I sighed; enjoying the moment of being content and full.

Though, as promised I did still have to clean up my mess that I’d left in the kitchen. Dishes wouldn't clean themselves and I wasn't going to leave them there for the ghoul.   
So with that in mind, after a minute of relaxation I opened my eyes and got up from the couch. Bringing my plate to the sink I began the process of cleaning the pots, pans and other dishware I’d used during my first attempt at making a proper meal. My first and successful attempt at cooking for myself!

When I’d nearly finished cleaning and sat aside the last wet pot to dry I heard a small whine from the doorway. Turning my head I spotted Bjorn, slowly wagging his tail as he noticed he'd gotten my attention. “Want to go out now?” I asked while drying my hands and placing them on my hips. I lifted my eyebrows at the pup. “You know Uta offered to take you out a while ago...You could have gone then.”

Bjorn, a dog: could not have known what I was saying but he whined and shook his head with his large floppy ears smacking the shit out of the side of his head. “No? Fiiiine. I’ll bring you out. He’s right though. You are stubborn!”

I walked out, spotting Uta smiling faintly. “You ‘chat’ with him quite a bit.”

“Well yeah I do.” I laughed, leaning down to Bjorn's level. “He likes it. --Don’t you?” Bjorn, wiggled, getting excited as I changed the tone of voice to one where I cooed at him. Looking back up at Uta I smiled and spoke normally again. “Anyway, with dogs It’s not always the words you say, but how you say them. I guess it might be a little crazy talking to him all the time; but he’s happy. So I’m okay with looking a little crazy. That’s all the matters to me.”

“C'mon buddy!” I said to Bjorn, patting my leg as I headed for the door. “We’ll be back in a minute.” I grabbed my cell phone and my coat; my knife was safely hidden in it’s pocket right where I’d left it. Just in case I ran into trouble outside. It would be brought with me everywhere especially after Uta had given me that look the last time I’d forgotten to bring it someplace.

Bjorn ran ahead of me down the stairs when I opened the front door. Uta and myself followed him down but the ghoul stopped at his desk; bent over his work plans. I paused to see what he was looking at and saw the sketches of several masks laid out across his desk. “Oh! I almost forgot! You had work you wanted to get done!” Uta glanced up and gave me a small nod. “You wanted help, right?”

He nodded again. “...if you still want to. It’s nothing too difficult. I’ll show you how to do anything you don’t know.”  
“Of course I’ll help!” I smiled cheerfully and waved. “Right after I’m back, okay?”

I opened the front door and let the hulking dog out. The pup ran around, spinning and jumping to catch in his jaws the flurry of snow that had begun to fall once again. Closing the door quickly behind me on the way out to keep in the heat I trudged through the crunchy snow. Watching Bjorn hop around excitedly made me pretty happy.

I leaned against a building's siding and scrolled through my phone while I waited for Bjorn to finish with being outside. I spun around, taking pictures of the snow and the sky and even the terrible graffiti that littered the walls. This place; the 4th ward really had a special kind of aesthetic if you looked at it in the right light.

I glanced down when Bjorn came back to me, pressing his cold nose into my side. “...I wonder how late we’ll be staying again. Do you think I should grab your food?” After visiting the 20th ward, shopping and then cooking it was getting well into the late afternoon but working on masks could push us right into the evening…

“Come on bud. Worse case I’ll grab it later.”

♥

“Sew here, and here in a straight line along the punctures.” I held in my hand a leather mask that Uta had been working on for a few hours - and now he was handing it to me with a thread and needle telling me to sew it for him while he started to work on the next one in line. It didn’t look too hard - the leather was prepuntured by the ghoul with a little metal pick and all I had to do was weave it back and forth through it so it would hold together.  
Regardless of the kind half-smile Uta gave me as he handed it to me to work on I still felt a bit of pressure not to fuck it up. Sewing straps was one thing, but working on a mask it's self felt like another.

“Ai-chan…”  
I glanced up from my new work to give the ghoul my attention. “Hum?”

“Tomorrow, don’t come over. I’m going hunting and I need time to clean up afterwards...I’ll let you know when it’s safe for you to come back.”  
I hesitated, my throat gone dry but nodded my head. We had had this conversation. Everything would be fine. Just don’t come over until it was all clear to do so. Got it. That should be easy. “Sure. Don’t take too long though. Or I can’t make you a coffee.”

The ghoul studied me, seemed satisfied with my reply and then smiled faintly. “You're going to put Yoshimura out of business if you keep it up. They keep getting better…”  
“Awe!~ Flatterer. I’d never be able to do that. His coffee is divine. I think that if I didn’t hate it so much I might be able to stomach black coffee if he made it.” 

This actually worked out well, if I couldn’t come over tomorrow then I could use the time away from him to get supplies and work on something else for him. He wouldn't be around to ask why I didn't want to hang out either! Sure, I’d given him eyes and ‘alcohol’ but I didn't want to have nothing else for him after that...  
If I could bring something else to the party I would. I buckled down on working the needle through the fabric while I tried to imagine what I could do with a few art supplies of my own.

Hours past and I’d finished the mask that he’d handed me. When I’d handed it back to him he had turned it around and really studied it closely; even testing the strength of the stitching by tugging on it. Watching him pull on both ends of the leather mask made me cringe, but they held. When they held together without giving he nodded and said: “Good. If you ever get tired of making coffee for Yoshimura you could come work with me…” He peered up over the newly sewed mask. “But, I know you like your work there…”

I smiled and chuckled softly. He knew me pretty well by now. He was right; I did love my job. And the people I worked with. They made a good place to work really great. I could say now that I did not regret meeting so many ghouls recently. Even with the danger it put me in. Even with some of the emotional strain I knew it would cause---It was worth it because they were worth knowing and having in my life.  
“Yeah, sorry to disappoint but for now I think I’ll keep my coffee job!”  
“Thought so.” Uta stood up and stretched out his back. “You should probably head home. It’s nearly dark. You can get back on your own?”

I nodded. As long as it wasn’t dark I felt safe enough - especially with Bjorn by my side and a quiche steel knife in my pocket. “I’ll send you a message when I get back! Expect it in a minute - okay?”  
"Yell if you run into trouble. I'll hear..."  
♥

I woke up the next day and almost thought to go straight to Uta’s to check to see what else he’d gotten done after I’d left. However - not a moment later I remembered that today I couldn’t just do that…  
Because Uta was hunting today. I knew he would have to kill and eat. I knew that - but it didn’t help much thinking about the human life that would end today. Because of him. There was no other options in this world other than this.

The best thing I could do was don’t think about it. 

That was all. Just don’t think about it. 

I had to go to the art craft store so that would take my mind from that particular situation. But that was its own stressful event since I needed to head to the one where I’d previously run into Ms. Okazaki. Running into her, or another staff member agian was a very real possibility as proven by the last trip. However, I’d have to risk it again if I wanted to get the supplies I needed for my little project. 

I started my day with some fresh fruit and veggies, uncooked and a bottle of water. They were good for me. Not my favorite thing. But for the sake of being healthier I tried to convince myself it was worth it regardless of how much I very much wanted to go to the pancake place instead. Bjorn got his food and a walk around the block before I brought him back and dressed up a little to go out.

On my way out of my apartment and heading towards the station I paused, spotting a familiar brown haired head with a fly away tuft of hair on top. 

“....Roma?” The girl turned quickly as I voiced her name. “Oh! Hi!!!!” She waved in an overly cheerful and almost animated motion. “You’re A...Ahhh....!” I smiled and akwardly shifted from foot to foot when she didn’t remember my name at all. “Aika!” I supplied, smiling at her and watching the little tuft of hair on her head bounce when she moved. “Oh yeah! Aika. Hey, have you seen Uta? His doors locked and the sign said closed again!”

“He’s busy. He’s out hunting today.” I said, cocking my head at the ‘girl’. She paused mid-bounce and stared at me. “Oh...is he? What are you doing then?”

“Me? I was on my way to the art supply store in the 3rd ward.” I peered down at her. Something about her was a bit unsettling but I couldn’t exactly place what it was. It was like being stared down by a lion, or maybe a shark? “Hey, you’re friends with Uta. Can you keep a secret…?”

The bouncing resumed as she grinned even more widely; showing off plenty of gleaming teeth. “Sure can! I love secrets! They're so fun! What is it?”  
“Well, you know Itori’s bar. 14th ward. We’re throwing a surprise birthday party for Uta there. You want to come?”

No matter how uncomfortable she made me, it would be wrong not to invite her if she was a friend of Uta’s. Plus - maybe I'd get use to that strange way she had about her. The girls grin relaxed slightly into a slightly more natural expression. Still creeped me out - but not as much. Inviting her might have been the 'right' choice. “...a party?” I nodded. “Yeah, but don’t tell him beforehand okay? It's suppose to be a surprise.”

“Humm...I won’t.” She turned to look in the direction of Uta’s shop. “My plans for the day are a bust if he’s away…” Roma muttered and pouted; the expression making her face look that much more childish. She turned to me quickly and clapped her hands together. “Hey! You know the coffee shop owner! From Anteiku. You work there too! Kuze---I mean. Yoshimura owns it! Can you introduce me!?”

“I-well.” There wasn’t any real reason I shouldn’t introduce Roma to the manager; was there? "Were you looking for a job there?” When she nodded exuberantly I couldn't help but to cave. “Sure I guess I could. I was on my way to go shopping though…”

“I’ll come with you!!!” I stared, a little dismayed that I’d have this small, childish and creepy ghoul following me around for the day. It may be heartless to think so but I didn’t care if she was Uta’s friend, I did not want her following me all around this and the 3rd ward, and then back to the 20th...   
“Well...That seems even more out of your way. How about I try and call the manager now and see when we can go see him before I head out to shop?”

I pulled out my phone and dialed the number and waited; listening to it ring on the other end as I watched the small ghoul bounce on the balls of her feet. On the third ring I heard the other end being picked up. “Hello Ms. Aika. How are you?”

“Good sir! Are you well today?”  
“Yes dear. Much better than I have been. The cafe is all fixed and ready to open.”  
“Sir, I’m sorry to bother you nearly everyday. But I’ve got a favor to ask if that’s okay? I met someone who wants to come meet you. They were looking for a job and I know we have some hours open now...a bit unfortunately but…” I trailed off, watching the girl stare up at me with wide eyes and repressed a shiver down my spine.

“A human friend?”   
“Hum, oh no.” I answered immediately. I wasn’t even sure Yoshimura would accept a second human into Anteiku. I seemed to be the exception to a long standing rule. I’d already seen him turn away a few humans who came in for a job before. It was easy to see why he would need to do that when they could easily figure out that they were all ghouls. Nothing good would come of that.

“Making more friends I see. Hum. I suppose you can bring them over to the shop now. I’ll have to have a chat with them about our rules here. We can see if we can work something out.”  
“Yes sir! We’ll head over now.”  
“See you soon Ms. Aika.”

I hung up the phone and looked down at Roma, giving her a thumbs up. I was relieved that he had said he’d meet with her - of course this meant I might have to see her more often if she worked with me. But at least I could leave her to the manager for the day. “He said we can go see him now. I guess he’s going to probably ask you a little about yourself and talk to you about Anteiku or something. You can go now, right?”

I couldn’t help but to glance at the girl as we made our way towards the 20th ward. Sometimes she fidgeted like a child or seemed to be bursting with energy but when she didn’t seem to know I was watching her from the corner of my eye she calmed down and watched the world pass by with a pair of sharper more discerning eyes. Not the gaze of an ordinary girl...it still reminded me like a shark watching fish swim around her.

“Okay!” I announced as we stepped up to the front of the closed Cafe. “This is it! Here we are.” I knocked on the door and stepped back to wait. When the door swung open I waved at the manager and gestured at Roma who stood by my side. “Hey boss. This is Roma.” The manager’s eyes shifted from myself to the small ghoul with me. “Hello there. I heard you're looking for a job. Would you mind coming in to speak?”

“Goodluck Roma!” Roma turned to look up at me with a surprised expression as I turned to leave. “You're leaving me here?” I laughed quietly at the absurdity. What was I going to do; Protect her from an interview? “You’ll do fine. I’ll see you tomorrow! Around six thirty okay?” I waved over my shoulder and left her with the manager as the old man ushered her inside.

Maybe it was all overthinking: but I was relieved when I was away from her.

♥

I’d mostly forgotten about Roma by the time I’d gotten myself to the 3rd ward art supply store and began perusing the options for canvases. Instead most of my attention was going into making sure I didn’t spot anybody else who was familiar to me. Both old “friends” and new. 

Beyond that; I kept what I wanted to paint firmly in my mind. I had thought of exactly what I had wanted to put on a canvas late last night before I fell asleep.

With my hands full of a rainbow of paint colors, soft brushes and a medium canvas of 24-by-36 inches I headed up to the front cashier to pay. The hardest part of the shopping experience ended up being getting the canvas back home with all the people who decided to crowd onto the train as the work day ended for many japanese companies. Everywhere I looked there were men and women in grey and black business suits muttering quietly about expenses or other ‘important’ business information. All rather dull talk honestly.

I hurried home and shut myself into my apartment with my happy, wiggling dog, locking the door and set up the blank canvas on my dresser to stare at it. In my mind's eye I could see the colors popping off the canvas. They were not there yet, but they would be.  
I turned my eyes down to Bjorn and pat his head. 

“What do you think? Is this dumb?” Most of Uta’s sketches were dark...not just in the color of the medium; charcoal and pencil. But also in subject matter. When it wasn’t a person, I’d seen so many of his sketches were skulls or something in the similar vein. My art, when I had bothered to create works, was much different.  
“Well...here goes nothing bear-bear. I hope he likes it when it’s done...”   
I pulled out a pencil, took the canvas into my lap and began to sketch the very lightly the beginnings of a piece of art. For Uta. I took my time and relaxed. The manager told me that the time and feelings I put into making something, like coffee for instance, would show themselves to the people it was meant for. The taste of the coffee would be better and I hoped the same would prove true for a painting.

Hours passed by as I sat bent over the canvas. I was looking at a brightly colored canvas with the foundations of flowers finally taking shape. I took a deep breath and let it go; stretching up and popping my back in a few spots. Bjorn wiggled his way over to the door and gave me puppy eyes to beg me to let him out. As much as I wanted to keep working through the rest of the day and into the night: The painting needed to dry a little before I could add more details. So I stood up and put it up on the dresser where it wouldn’t get trampled upon. “Okay buddy. You’re right. We need to get out for a little while. Let's take a little walk.”

I washed my hands to get some of the paint off and then grabbed my coat to keep myself warm. I put on Bjorn’s leash, laid over his back. I pushed open the door and let him out while following close behind. The dog trotted around happily playing in the snow for a bit and turned to head towards Uta’s shop.

I was about to tell him, not for the first time, that we were not going there right now when Bjorn stopped and let out a low growl. I jogged to catch up to him and glanced up to find out what the dog was growling at. In front of Uta’s shop stood a man in a dark suit and holding a silver suitcase.  
I recognized them as a ghoul investigator. Dark suit and silver briefcase.

I pulled Bjorn back, tugging as hard as I could on the leash to pull him away from the ghoul investigator and out of sight around a corner. The dog thankfully allowed himself to be pulled back around a corner and stared up at me intently. I held my finger to my mouth and shushed his whine.

I peeked around the corner to try and get a good look. The man stood in front of Hysy Art Mask Studio, looking over the building and the red ‘closed’ sign hanging on the front door. I watched for a few minutes before the investigator apparently decided it wasn’t important enough and walked away. I tucked myself back around the corner just to make sure he wouldn’t spot me. When he was out of sight I let out a long sigh of relief. Screw this walk, that was enough cardio for the whole day. I took Bjorn back towards my home; walking quickly and already typing a message for Uta.

Aika: Hey, I was walking down the street and saw a guy who seemed to want to talk to you. Suit and briefcase; looks super business like. Must be serious 😂 Are you home?  
I looked over my message; coded so that if someone else read it there wouldn’t be anything too suspicious about it.  
Uta took a moment to pick up his phone and read my message, but the answer came quickly.  
Uta: Home. Shop isn’t cleaned up yet. Did they say anything to you? Are they still there?  
Aika: 🕴️💼 No. I hid until he left.

Uta: Okay. Everything will be clean in a few hours. Want to come over?  
Aika: Not tonight. I’m actually busy. Tomorrow we should head to Itori’s for real (not a surprise fight)!   
Uta: Okay. It’s not because of…?  
Aika: No. Not because of that. I’m just busy with something else.

I pocketed my phone and unlocked the small apartment door; hustling the dog inside and closing it behind me. Not only locking my door but also blocking the door with my dresser once again. It did not sit well with me that there was a ghoul investigator hanging around Uta’s home.

Aika: Does it happen often? 🕴️💼 showing up?  
Uta: Once in a while. Don’t worry.

I laid down on my back and threw an arm over my eyes. Bjron, concerned with my behavior came over and laid by my side, poking his nose into my cheek. “Hi buddy. Don’t worry about me. You’re my sweet boy. Don’t you worry...” I rubbed his face absently and looked into his big brown eyes. 

I took a nap, allowing the paint to dry further. When I woke up much later I fed Bjron and then hunched back over my work of art with paints in hand to continue where I’d left off. I may have left this to the last minute but it wouldn’t stop me from trying to finish it in time and with every ounce of effort I could.

The hours ticked by and it was early morning again by the time I placed aside the project. I couldn't even see completely straight when I stumbled into the bathroom to clean off paint. I yanked off my paint stained clothes and pulled on a pair of short pajama shorts and the over large shirt Uta had given me to keep.

♥

I awoke again at an unknown time to tapping. I tried to brush the noise aside and ignore the sound but it persisted until it became a heavy thudding. “Aika?” I sat up and groaned and held my head; it ached like I had a hangover. “Aika? Are you okay?”

I blinked, looking at the door in confusion. “Yeah…” I called back to the voice while standing up from bed and walking to the door. I double checked who it was and then slid it open a crack. “I’m fine. What’s up?” Uta’s face hovered in front of my cracked door, looking down at me with concern while I simply blinked at him through a sleepy haze. “You were not answering your phone...it’s almost the evening…”

“It’s evening? Wait! What time is it!?” I turned, leaving the door open and stepping back to grab my phone and look at the time. Seeing it was nearly five pm I groaned. Bjorn wiggled up beside me and whined; holding his leash in his jaws. Out of the corner of my eyes I spotted Uta taking a step inside. I turned and leapt forward, shoving my hands over his eyes before he could spot the painting I’d finished just this morning.   
The ghoul froze and tensed under my sudden touch but didn’t move further inside. “...Sorry?”

“I didn’t mean to startle you Uta! Just---No peeking!”  
The ghoul’s hands raised up to ‘surrender’, under my hands his eyebrows furrowed. “Hiding something?”  
“Yeah. I mean kinda? Not bad...Just...you’re not allowed to see it yet. It’s a surprise. Speaking of, do you do anything for Christmas?”

“I believe the manager invites the employees and a few others over for a small holiday party on the holiday.” I felt his eyelashes brush the palms of my hand as he shut his eyes. Carefully, making sure he wasn’t peeking I lifted my hands away. “Don’t peek. I’ll hide it and then you can look?” He nodded his head in response but I kept my eyes on him while I moved to grab the painting off the dresser. Once it was carefully stowed away in the bathroom I returned.

“Okay, I hid it. Hey for Christmas Eve...Do you want to decorate? Or...go someplace to see the city's light illuminations? I haven't gone before, but I hear they're pretty neat...”

The ghoul’s eyes reopened, first looking down at Bjron who wagged his tail while he looked at the partially open door. “I think he wants out.” His hand raised to pat the top of the canines head. “You want to go see the lights with me?” Uta looked up, gave me a glance over and cocked his head to the side curiously.

“Yeah, I do...If you don’t mind. I mean---If you’re going with someone else that’s fine…” I bit my lip and looked away to avoid looking him in the eye. Christmas in Japan was commonly celebrated as couples; but that didn’t mean I couldn’t get him to go, right?. The most I normally did was get a box of fried chicken or a little cake…

“Sure.” I smiled hearing his answer, though I paused seeing his eyes were drifting away from myself. “If we’re going to see Itori you might want to put on more clothes…”

I looked down at myself and felt the blood boil and raise up into my face and ears. I’d completely forgotten that I was only wearing Uta’s over large shirt that hung to my thighs and a pair of very short pajama shorts. “I-I will! I wasn’t expecting to sleep this late!” I waved my hands, trying to shoo him out of the building. I took Bjorn's leash from his mouth and clipped it on to the dog, handing the other end to Uta. “C-can you t-take him out for me for a walk around the block. I’ll be ready in a few minutes?”

I didn’t wait for a reply to start shoving the dog and ghoul out the door; though I was pretty sure I could see a smirk on the ghouls face as I did.

With the door closed shut once again I leaned back against it and took a few deep and calming breaths. I hurried to the bathroom, taking the painting out and placing it back on the dresser. It didn’t seem like it was completely dry yet...so I might have to wait till after the party to give it to him.

I shuffled through my newer wardrobe I’d picked out with Itori. I chose a dark dress, black pair of leggings and a pair of chunky lace up high-heel boots. I checked my phone to see that Uta had in fact been trying to call me, and text. Many of them looked like he’d been pretty worried about me…

I sent a message to Itori and asked her how everything was going with the set up. The reply I got back from her was a picture of the bar lit up with strings of lights, a few balloons and those little party horns you blow on and a tongue of paper flicked out.  
In other words it was perfect!~

Aika: Did you get Nico to say whether or not he was coming?  
Itori 🤡: He’s coming! Did you invite Roma?  
Aika: Yeah! She’s one of his friends too, right?  
Itori 🤡: That’s so sweet! Yeah she showed up not too long ago! Give me a text when your getting off the subway!~

I jumped into the shower when it was still cold, scrubbing fast and hard until the water became scolding hot. There likely wasn’t any point in the attempts to wash off the ghouls scent; he seemed to be a naturally touchy person and I likely wasn’t going to easily escape that. But I could enjoy at least knowing I would not only smell like Uta, but also flowers.

I heard the knock at the door again when I was applying eyeliner and almost jumped out of my skin. Thankfully I was able to save myself from smearing the line of black and red across my face. “Give me a few minutes!~”

After a few moments I heard a second knock, harder. Frowning I went to the door; double checking the peephole. I froze up seeing not Uta, but Amon standing at my door. “Ms. Kaneshiro?”

I opened the door and forced a smile on my face. “A-Amon? Hey. I would have thought that you’d have better things to do than visit me…” I peered down and found he was holding his suitcase firmly in his hands. Clearly this was business and not pleasure. “I’m sorry to bother you like this, but could I ask you a few questions?”

With my heart in my throat I nodded, unable to respond in any other way. Anything else and it would be suspicious. Normal humans didn’t resist the CCG. They supported them and cheered! “Of course. But how could I help?”  
Amon took some papers from his pocket and held them up showing photographs of a few men. “Do you know any of these men?” Looking between them I did see one that made my stomach twist. His photo came from a shitty security camera but it was the mugger who Uta had killed a month ago. “Yeah...I’ve seen him. He tried to mug me the night before..--I remember he was on the news. My dog spooked him and that guy ran off without doing anything though…”

“I’m afraid I am here on business today. There’s been two deaths now surrounding you. You were seen on a security camera as well" He held up the next photo that showed myself and Bjorn standing defensively. "Your boss and this man. The office had me come out to question you because I’ve spoken to you before…” Amon paused and awkwardly rubbed the back of his head. “Ms. Kaneshiro...I hate to ask this of you but would you willingly submit to a blood test? We need to check your RC levels, to rule you out as a ghoul...”

I raised my eyebrows and then laughed in his face. It was pretty funny. ME? Me of all people on this street? “S-sure! I’m sorry! I don’t mean to laugh! What do I have to do? I hate needles…”

Amon smiled kindly and took out a little vial with a small needle at the head of it. “I’m afraid it is a needle…your hand please?”

“So be it.” I held out my hand, flinching my eyes closed even before he raised the needle vial up to my index finger and stabbed the device into it. I hissed and cursed while Amon pulled the blood sample away and tucked it into his pocket. He bowed his head and simply said. “Thank you. Ms. Kaneshiro. I’ll have your results in a few days! Unless there’s an issue with it I won’t bother you until after the Holiday.”

“I really wish you’d just call me Ms. Aika. Not by my family name…” I sighed and stuck my wounded finger into my mouth as the investigator looked flustered at his mistake. We had already been over this before. “I apologize Ms. Ka--Aika!”  
“Hum...No problem…”  
I watched the CCG officer leave, calling out to him before he turned the corner. “Hey, Mr. Amon...you don’t really think I’m a ghoul do you? You could have gotten my records from my family...”

“You never know Ms. Aika. Please be careful!”

I stood by the door, finger in my mouth and waited to make sure he was well and truly gone.  
“Ai-chan...are you okay?” I turned my head and spotted Uta and Bjorn coming around the corner. “Yeah…seems like the investigators are really sweeping the town. I thought Amon was supposed to be up in the 20th ward. But I guess they sent him because they think he knows me…”

“You gave them a blood sample?”  
“It’s good he didn’t see you. Might have questioned you while he was at it. Yeah. Of course I gave it to him. What else was I supposed to do? It would be weird to refuse a test. It’s not like they’ll find anything weird anyway. I’m human after all. Anyway, it’s a free RC cell test...those can be expensive ordinarily.” I took my finger from my mouth and hissed. “Stings like a bitch though…” I turned, heading back into my apartment. “Hold on out there, I’m just grabbing my phone and a bandaid.”

Uta let Bjorn back into my building and hovered outside my door, waiting while I wrapped my finger, grabbed my coat and stuffed my phone into my coat pocket and finally appeased Bjorn by setting out his food. “I’ll be back later bear-bear!~” 

It was party time! And Uta was in for a surprise!~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the lateness. I want to be able to go through and carefully read but also life is CRAY CRAY RIGHT NOW! WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING! I CAN'T EVEN.  
> I am like 50% of the way through the next chapter - so that may not take as long!~ So you may be able to look forward to that in exchange for this one being so late!


	29. Chapter 29: Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THERE"S A PARTY!  
> And Roma continues to be Roma (and I don't think many people like Roma)

Chapter 29: Party!~

Because the painting was still wet I couldn’t bring it with me or give it to him just yet. It was a pity, but I could always give it to him later tonight, or tomorrow when it would be completely ready with no risk of paint smearing. Despite having nothing else to hand him yet it didn’t mean he couldn’t be surprised with a fun night and some friends!   
When we got off the subway I shot Itori a warning text just like she’d asked for. All the ghouls there would be ready so surprise him with the 'Happy Birthday'. I couldn’t suppress my glee but the ghoul hadn't seemed to notice my more than usual upbeat mood anyway. 

As we approached the front door I took a step back and let Uta in first. When we got in the room it was dark but the lights snapped on and the four people inside cheered “surprise”; popping confetti which scattered over Uta and myself. Looking around it seemed that Renji, Itori, Nico and Roma had all arrived! I didn’t know anybody else who was a Clown - or his friend- at this point to invite them. So this would have to do.

“Surprise!~” I said cheerfully along with the others; looking up at the wide-eyed ghoul who was staring up at the large ‘Happy Birthday’ sign above the bar done up in blown up balloon letters.  
“Did we get you!? Are you surprised!?” Roma cheered.  
“I’d say based on the expression on his face dear that we did.” Nico said, taking a sip from a drink he had and smiling. “Dear. Aika!~ This is a nice idea! It’s good to see you again darling!~” The effeminate ghoul waved and shot me a smile. It was slightly awkward, seeing as he had been among the group that attacked my workplace. But I took a few steps into the bar and smiled back at him. “Yeah, you too Nico. I suppose I owe you a thank you for not killing me!~ Or giving away my hiding spot.”

“Oh don’t you worry honey! I won’t hurt a hair on your pretty little head!~ By the way, that was a great hiding place.”

“Apparently not good enough.” I countered, grinning weakly. Turning my gaze back on the goth ghoul with a happy grin on my lips I asked: “So? Surprised? I don't know all your friends...but I figured we could at least get a few to come hang out and some decorations…” Unfortunately because everyone else was a ghoul we couldn’t do something like cake. But hanging out at a bar and drinking could be a fun birthday party!

“You did this for...?”  
“A very late birthday get together. I told you I felt bad for missing it. I’m not waiting a whole year to celebrate!~ Did we surprise you?”

The ghoul nodded his head and walked over to take his usual seat at the bar. The spot that I usually inhabited was currently being occupied by Roma. The small ghoul didn’t even look old enough to drink legally but here she was sipping at a cup of fermented human blood with a stupidly happy smile on her face. Since I lacked a seat I simply stood by Uta’s other side, leaning against the bar. I got caught looking at the small girl and decided to make some conversation. “Roma! You showed up too. I was afraid you might not since I gave you so little time. How did the interview with the manager go?”

The girl, who by the looks of it may be starting to get a little tiny bit buzzed, if not tipsy turned and pouted. “You just left me there…” I lifted an eyebrow and snickered. “What? Did you think I could ‘save’ you from a job interview?” I stopped though after a moment, still seeing her looking at me with slightly narrowed eyes. I frowned then; a little concerned that she’d somehow NOT gotten the job. What kind of questions did the manager have for his ghoul employees? And what sort of thing might disqualify someone?  
“Well? I can’t imagine you failed a job interview? Did you get the job?”

The little ghoul finally nodded her head and leaned over her drink. “Yeah, I got a job.” After she took another sip she turned back to me with a sudden grin on her face again. “Hey! I guess that makes us co-workers?”

I nodded my head, a queasy feeling settling in my stomach as she grinned with so many teeth at me.”Yeah, I suppose so. What shift do you have? I work in the mornings.”

“Oh. I work from um...until...eh…I think it was one pm until nine pm. Do we not work together then?” I tried not to feel too relieved that we had shifts that would only overlap a little bit. I much preferred Touka's quiet suspicion over this ominous feeling I got from Roma.

“We have overlapping shifts. I arrive early in the morning but the time I leave work is before yours unless I stay to help out late. If it’s busy or Touka-chan needs coverage sometimes I do. If you end up need any help at work I suppose I won’t mind!~”

I leaned back, watching the ghouls as they enjoyed themselves. Most of whom were members among the ‘Clowns’. They all chatted, laughed and had fun; Even Uta joined in and seemed to enjoy himself among his peers. I gratefully took a glass of liquid spirits from Itori when she offered and continued to sip at it for a while.  
Out of the corner of my eye I spotted Nico wave me over; a sweet smile on his face. I tapped Uta’s shoulder, quickly indicated where I was going and stepped away from my goth friend.

“Hey Nico, what’s up?” I said, walking over with my own drink still clasp in my hands. Past Nico, seated at a table in the corner I spotted a head of silver hair. I took note of how Renji was sitting; keeping mostly to himself. Although once in a while he glanced up to speak with Itori. It seemed as though what Uta had said about Renji not being with the 'Clowns' was true. He seemed like such an outsider in this group - so was I.

“Oh nothing Honey! I just wanted to chat. I was surprised you invited me!~” Nico responded with a friendly grin. He fiddled with his smiley face pin I'd complimented before and his scarf. I smiled faintly, raising my shoulders in an awkward half-shrug. I’d asked Itori to contact Nico fairly last minute as well, but both him and Roma had showed up without fail. “You’re Uta’s friend. Anyway, you might have been with them but...you didn’t kill me. You actually covered for me back there. No grudges here.” I waved my hand and smiled earnestly.  
If he hadn’t covered for me there might have been a chance the place would have been searched for the ‘human employee’. That may have been common knowlege in the ghoul community now. A human employee at the ghoul cafe. If they had been using Nico’s good senses to ensure that everyone was accounted for - it meant that Nico had covered up the fact I was even there.

“Again, thank you for that. Really. I doubt Kaneki or anyone else at the cafe would care much for you at the moment. But you saved my hide. Maybe sometime I’ll make you a coffee if you want.”  
The ghoul smiled kindly. “...that’s sweet of you. Thank you dear.” He waved a hand at the group of them gathered. “Does this not bother you?”

“...A party?” The man raised an eyebrow slightly giving me a sarcastic look that meant he clearly wasn’t talking about the party.  
“...a party of ghouls?” I asked, trying to avoid the subject a little with a faint smile. But I could see he wasn’t dropping it as he stared me down. “Guess Itori told you that Uta told me about you guys being ‘Clowns’?”

When he nodded I exhaled and took a long gulp off the top of my glass. It seemed like I might really need this alcohol tonight. It was a party with all of them here, but somehow I hadn’t expected any serious conversations to come up. Or I had hoped they wouldn't. I already had to deal with Uta hunting weighting on my mind today. “I don’t know - or need to know - all that--” I waved a hand around, indicating “all that”. “--he does. Or you all do. If the people I actually care about go home safe at night I’m fine with whatever. Trust me learning about the “eating people’ was a bit more alarming than hearing that he’s “in a ghoul club, or gang or whatever named The Clowns.’ And I already knew he was leader of the 4th ward. Which I'm sure had it's own fair amount of bloodshed...”

I shrugged and raised my own eyebrows at Nico. My reaction garnered a small chuckle from across the counter. I turned my head and saw Itori leaning over the counter and over hearing our conversation. “I imagine it was. Nico!~ It’s a good idea to just let Uta handle talking to her about our fun ‘parties’ and entertainment okay?”

I took the moment to excuse myself from the conversation. “Hey, Renji-kun looks lonely over there though. So I’ll talk to you later Nico!~” I waved, and made my way over to Renji who sat at a small table further away from the rest of the ghouls.  
“Heeeeey! Coach!~” I grinned as he looked up at me quickly, a perplexed expression leapt on his face before it settled quickly back into his usual grumpy scowl. “Don’t look at me like that. You’ll be happy to know that since you’re putting in the effort to help me out I’ve decided to swap my diet to a healthier one!~” I looked at the glass in my hand and chuckled. “Eh...maybe don’t count this though.”  
I pulled out a chair and sat myself down across from the silver haired ghoul. “Soooo! How’s “kittens?””  
“Itori put you up to this?” Renji said, scowling.

“No."  
I paused then shrugged. "Well...yes. She asked about it and told me a few details. Specifically on how you smelled. Uta mentioned you smelled like cats. But I am genuinely curious. As a human.” I raised my hands. “But if it’s really not something you want to talk about then that’s fine too.”

I watched as his eyes turned to survey the room of other ghouls and then fall back to his glass of blood, still mostly full. Ah. I see. He didn’t want to speak about it here. With the the company of these other ghouls. “Fair enough.” I said, still smiling. “So did you mean THIS Monday? Or stating after all the holidays?”

“Starting after the holidays is fine. The manager is having a party. Are you going?”  
"Of course! You'll be there too, right? And Hinami and Touka?"  
He nodded his head. He lifted the drink to his lips and carefully sipped off the top. After a few moments he added: "...I expect Uta and Itori may show up as well."

Renji was a quiet fellow, so when we lapsed into a quiet moment I wasn't surprised and simply used the time to look around the bar; observing the ghouls as they had their fun. “Hey Renji...was what you said before, about my potential the truth? Or were you just telling me that to make me feel better?”  
“I wouldn’t do that.”  
I turned my eyes from the group of Clowns to the raven ghoul. From the looks of it, he was being completely serious. He really wouldn’t lie would he?  
“No?”  
“No.”  
“You wouldn’t lie? Completely honest?”  
He raised his eyes to look up to me and shook his head. “Why do you want to learn Aika?”  
I bit the inside of my cheek. Of course he'd go and ask that. It was a fair question since he was taking his time to teach me. “Well it’s…” I couldn't help that my eyes turned towards Uta as I thought about my reasons. It was for myself; but also for him. I lowered my voice so hopefully only Renji could hear my words. “I suppose...So people who may give a shit if I live or die won’t have to worry as much? You have no idea how many times I've had ghouls I know offer to walk me home in the last month. Even the old man offered to walk me home one night. And Touka will offer despite her not liking me too much…”

At the mention of Touka I saw a small shadow of a smile on his lips and his expression softened by a tiny fraction. “She’ll warm up to you eventually Aika...don’t worry.”  
“Are you sure? I feel like I’ve tried everything to get her to like me and it feels like it’s had very little effect…”  
“I’m sure…”  
He took a sip off the top of his drink and leaned back in his seat. “Lying about whether you have potential wouldn’t help you...But being strong has its own drawbacks. And some people won’t mind protecting you…” His eyes drifted away from myself and over to the bar where Uta sat. He was tipping a glass back for a big gulp and then smiling at his fellow kin.

“Maybe..but I don’t want to weigh anybody down. I’d feel no end of guilt if he--or you guys too ever got hurt because of me. And Touka still seems to think I’m going to run off and spill secrets to the CCG...” I lifted my bandaged finger and pouted at the little bloodstain on the bandage. Those guys had really wanted a blood sample from me if they sent someone out to find me...

“Got hurt?”

“This? No, an officer showed up at my door because two men have disappeared around me. I should probably just ask Uta to maybe stick to eating or killing people NOT associated with me...Otherwise they’ll start really looking into me. Then after that: through me they'll look at you guys…”

Staring at the little drop of blood staining the bandage I pondered. “...Wouldn’t he know right away that I was or wasn’t a ghoul? The needle broke my skin so…”

“That’s true. If I understand correctly the majority of the tests are done by a doctor, and then a doctor will send the results straight to the CCG. It makes it easy to fake the results though. In a case where the test is done directly by a CCG officer it’s likely they use quinque steel needles to avoid suspicion. Afterall, If it doesn't break our skin it gives us away and a ghoul would strike to kill the officer right away. Then flee. But it also makes it so we can’t fake our results…” He peered down at my hand, reaching out to gently take my hand and flip it over so he could see the wrapped finger. “You said an officer came directly for this…?”

I nodded my head, staying silent as the silver ghoul stared down at my injured finger. “...be careful. They’ll probably be back.”

I nodded again, pulling my hand away from Renji and curling it to my stomach. It still stung…

♥

I smiled a little uneasily as I watched Uta sway on his feet. A healthy blush of blood was all across his cheeks, ears and nose while he laughed joyfully with the other clowns. Drunk. This was the first time I’d seen him like this.   
“That's it U-kun! That’s enough now I think!” Itori said and was met by a few boo’s from Nico and Roma and Uta himself. She finally was pulling away Uta’s empty glass from him and refilling it only with plain water. “You still need to get Aika back home safe! Drink up some water!”

I leaned up against the bar next to him and smiled at the goth as he glared at Itori who didn’t seem to notice, or care. Her bar, her rules! “I don’t wanna ruin your fun Uta-kun, but you are already pretty drunk. Plus-!” I said, interrupting any argument from him. “- if we get you home and you still want to drink there's more for you there.”

I picked up his water and handed it to him. “So clear your head just a little.”  
“...hum. Alright…” The ghoul took the glass and took a big gulp of the ice cold liquid. “Sit down…” He muttered softly; watching me as I continued standing near him. With all the bar stools occupied I shook my head and smiled. “I’m okay. There’s no more stools but I can stand. It's---” I stopped my sentence midway through as the ghoul wrapped his arm around around my middle and pulled me gently towards him “Sit with me…”

I hesitated, looking into his ghoulish eyes as they focused on my own. I exhaled a sigh and let him pull me towards him and seated myself on his lap. The ghoul kept an arm wrapped around my waist and settled his chin on my shoulder. Reluctantly I relaxed. His body was so warm…

I spotted Nico’s expression and saw the man wink at me before going back to minding his own business. Meanwhile Roma stared at me with...an odd sort of resentment. It reminded me of Touka but this felt more venomous than anything the other girl had given me. I lowered my eyes and spent my energy trying to make sure Uta kept drinking water to clear up his head.

“--Aika said that there would be plenty of clowns at Uta’s birthday party.” I perked up, hearing the tail end of something Itori said when my name was mentioned. The group snickered but I could see it didn’t quite hit the funny bone quite right. It had been a terrible joke...

I glanced at Roma who had her elbows up on the bar and looked rather bored.  
“Hey, Roma! Do you know how to fight a gang of Clowns?” I paused before delivering the punchline. I saw for a moment her interest had peaked and she shook her head no.  
“You go for the juggler!”  
“Ha! Well that’s a little better!” The group snickered and the ghoul holding me on his lap chuckled; the deep sound reverberating between our bodies. I nudged him again, insisting that he drank water again. The goth muttered into my ear, trying to argue that he’d be perfectly fine.

“Better be safe than sorry, if you don’t your head will be hurting you tomorrow and you’ll regret it. So drink up.” The ghoul sighed but relented; taking up the glass up again and swallowed down a bit more H2O. I knew he would thank me later for it. At the very least it should help him avoid a really bad hangover. 

I wouldn’t have been so concerned about Uta’s mental ability to get us both home safely if Renji could have come with us. However sometime after I'd left Renji's side he had finished his drink, plus a few more. The raven ghoul was now completely passed out after drinking only a few glasses of blood. I found it a little bit funny that as big and tough as he looked he was a lightweight when it came to drink.

“You can stay at my place tonight? We could watch a movie...” Uta asked, whispering into an ear. Gently I shook my head from side to side. Sadly I couldn’t do that with any amount of adult responsibility. “I have to go back to work tomorrow, Uta. First day back and I can't be tired at work. I’m sorry...” I whispered back, a touch of sadness in my own voice. “--But I’ll stop by in the morning to make sure you’re doing alright, make you a coffee and...I’ve got something for you at home. I’ll give it to you in the morning, before I leave.”

The arm around my middle tightened up around me briefly and then relaxed. I felt a sigh leave my ghoul friend and when he slumped when I said no. “Okay…”  
“Uta-kun!~" I said, trying to be cheerful. "Don’t forget we’ll also be celebrating Christmas in just a few days. Tomorrow night I’ll come hang out for movie night..just not too late.”

The two of us stayed like this for some time; sitting on his lap and forcing him to drink down as much water as I could get him to. Even after Nico and Roma both excused themselves and Itori managed to get Renji up off the table and drinking some water. Renji became super talkative; although I didn’t understand half of what he said. “Uta-kun...I’m going to help Itori clean up. Afterwards I think we should head out. It’s getting late. How do you feel?”

“I’m alright. Better.” Uta pulled his arms from around my waist, letting me stand up to start cleaning. I started by grabbing a few towels to wipe down the counters and tables.

♥  
I took one of the balloons with me as we exited the bar. Already it was well on it’s way to midnight and we still needed to get home. Itori was getting Renji home, or at the very least to somewhere he would stay safe for the night. Hopefully he didn’t have a hangover tomorrow; but I wasn’t holding out hope for the silver haired ghoul. He likely would be in terrible pain…

“Did you have fun?” I asked Uta, looking up hopefully at the goth.   
He nodded his head, but didn’t say anything further. We lapsed into a silence as we continued to walk towards the station to head back to the 4th ward. After a while I broke the quiet again. “Is Roma always so...um…” I tried to think of how to describe her without causing any insult to either her or Uta who was her friend, or Clown buddy. There really wasn’t any easy way to say it though…

He looked down and cocked his head to the side. “She makes you uncomfortable.” It wasn’t a question at all. I felt bad that it was so obvious; or maybe he was just good at reading me by now. I laughed softly and looked away awkwardly. “Eh...yeah. Just a bit.”

“You didn’t have to invite her…you only just met her a few days ago...”  
“She’s your friend though! And if she just got out from---you know. Well, I don’t know. It is your late birthday party but I figured she’d like to join in on a little party too…” I shrugged my shoulders and looked down at the ground; kicking a stone here or there as we walked. “I’ll get used to her. Heck! Maybe she’ll be fun to work with!” I’d have to grow accustomed to her at the very least; since I was about to be seeing her nearly everyday.

Uta was quiet next to me but he stepped closer, looped an arm around my shoulder and in a quiet voice spoke into my ear: “Thanks Aika…”

I brushed the thanks off, but I was happy to hear it. “I hardly did a thing Uta-kun!~ I’m glad your friends showed up! Nico is actually super sweet! I owe him a coffee. It’s really too bad you guys can’t have any coffee unless it's completely plain. I’m sure he’d loooove a cold white chocolate chip mocha!~”

When we got back to the fourth ward and on our street Uta spoke up again. “Ai-chan...Are you sure you can’t stay over at my place? You could get Bjorn, come over and sleep in my bed again.” Uta paused, for just a split second before adding. “...I’ll take the couch.” I blushed faintly in the dim light, avoiding the ghouls gaze. “Tomorrow I’ll come over to hang out after work, but I can’t sleep at your place every night. I'm not going to kick you out of your own bed and I pay rent for my place for a reason. Now I’m not even really eating there! I’ve gotta use it for something…” I chuckled, playing it off as a joke and fishing around my pockets for my keys when we drew closer to my door. Stopping in front of my door I could already hear my dog on the other side jumping around and yipping happily. “...I can watch Bjorn tomorrow while you're at work. You’ll be stopping by in the morning before you go?” Uta offered, standing by while I unlocked the apartment door.

“Yeah, I’ll come by early morning. If you're up without a headache that is...I have something to give you then.” I opened the door, seeing Bjorn right inside made me grin. “You wouldn’t mind watching him?”

The ghoul by my side looked down at the massive dog and nodded his head. “It doesn't seem like he’ll bite me anymore. He’ll be fine at my shop for the day. And it means you’ll have to come back to visit me at night to get him.” The ghoul's eyes seemed to burrow into me, focusing solely on my eyes as he grinned down at me. “...I’ll get popcorn for your visit. I’ve got a few movies for you to pick from. Okay?”

“Alright, alright." I laughed, smiling and giving in. It seemed like he wasn't going to let me get away without a movie night. "I’ll watch some movies with you tomorrow.”  
“---and stay over?”  
“Maybe. I’m not promising anything!” Despite my saying so, Uta continued to grin like he’d won that ‘argument’ with me. “Goodnight Ai-chan. Thank you for throwing a party for me…” 

“You’re welcome...Happy Belated Birthday.” I said with a small, half smile.  
Uta turned around and headed down the street towards his shop and safe haven and I tucked myself back into my apartment after a long, but fun and worthwhile day.

♥

To make sure the ghoul was actually awake and not in terrible pain from a hangover I sent a text to Uta before I went over and knocked on his door. Soon after I got confirmation that he was awake and I could go right on in. 

I very carefully wrapped the painting I’d done up and leashed Bjorn up, carrying his things over in a plastic shopping bag. “Alright Bjorn. You’re going to be good for Uta or he won’t watch you again. Okay? You’re going to be a good boy.” The dog wagged his tail and stared up at me with big chocolate eyes before bolting out the front door of my apartment to go straight to jumping in the snow outside.

He roamed freely around me as I headed towards Hysy Art Mask Studio until we came to the door and he rejoined me by my side. Nervously I swallowed down my anxiety. What if he didn’t like it? With a little finagling I got the door open and called out despite the fact that the moment I opened the door he likely already knew it was me.  
“Uta, it’s me."

Bjorn pushed past me into the building and sat his butt down on the tile in his personal favorite spot in the room. It just so happened to be near a heater. Instantly I found Uta in his normal place; at his desk. “Morning. How’s your head?”

The ghoul looked up from his work and smiled ever so slightly. “...hurts a little bit.”  
“But it would be worse if I hadn’t forced you to drink all that water!” I said, smirking down at him. Yeah, I was on my high horse. But I deserved to be up here after saving him from a worse fate!

“What’s that?” His eyes were on the wrapped painting in my hands. “Oh..um…” I placed aside Bjorn’s things and fidgeted around with the canvas. “Well I decided to try and make you something. I couldn’t give it to you last night because it wasn’t dry yet.”

The ghoul held out his hands and I placed it into them almost reluctant to let the man I’d made it for look at the piece. I already felt like making excuses:

‘I haven't painted in years.’  
‘I know it’s not as good as your art...’  
‘It could be better…’  
‘It’s brighter than what I’ve seen you make but…’  
‘If I practiced more I…’

But instead of making excuses I stood by quietly and shuffled my feet and twirled my fingers together. “I hope you like it…” The ghoul gently, almost reverently pulled away the cloth covering to the painting so he could see the final work. For a few century long moments he was quiet, mulling over the painting and taking in the details of the brightly colored yellow, green and peacock blues hues in the dandelions and blue-green sky as a background. The colors popped off the work and grabbed the viewers full attention.  
“…I didn’t know you could paint like this...it's good.”  
“You like it? Really?”

The ghoul raised his eyes up from the painting and looked into my eyes. Silently I was pleading for not blind approval but a complete truth from the ghoul. He was a practiced artist; did he really like it? “Yes.” He dropped his gaze back down to look at it, gently touching the canvas only with the very tips of his fingers. “...did you enjoy doing this sort of thing?” He asked after a minute of thoroughly looking at the piece of art.  
“Well...yeah. I suppose I did for a while; and I guess it felt nice trying it out again.”

The ghoul gently placed down the canvas on top of his desk and his work to rustle through a drawer in his desk. He pulled out a medium sketchpad and held it out to me. “Here. It’s empty if you want to try drawing or painting more…”

“Do you think that I should…?” I gently took the sketchbook and flipped through a few of the blank pages for myself. They were thick almost card stock sheets that would hold paint or sketches depending on my wim. Staring down at the blank pages I couldn’t see what I could put in them just yet, but given time maybe I’d think of something. I glanced up at Uta when he replied. “If you enjoy it. Keep that to put down ideas if you feel inspired. You don’t have to though if you don’t feel like it.”  
Years before I’d been pressured to keep doing things. Art, music or other hobbies my parents thought I should have. They had only driven me further away from such things, but hearing Uta encourage me to try, only if it made me happy - that made me happy. 

I hugged the sketchpad to my chest and grinned. “Okay. I’ll use it. Thanks Uta-kun.”

Uta turned his head to look at the clock on the wall, frowned and then spoke up. “You’ll be late for the subway if you don’t run…”

I cursed, seeing he was completely correct and bolted, placing the sketchbook down before I left. “I’ll be back later! So keep that safe for me please!”

♥

When I arrived at work I was a few minutes late; flustered and breathing hard from running. “I am so--- sorry--- Sir.” I tried to explain myself in between harsh gasps for breath. “I ran a little late, and missed the first subway.”

“It’s no problem dear, there’s been no customers yet. I believe the word has yet to spread that we’ve re-opened after our ‘vacation’.” The old man smiled kindly and then gently pat the counter. “Come over and take a seat. I’ll get you a cup of coffee. You look tired. Did you sleep well?”

“I slept fine but I suppose I stayed up pretty late. I feel completely fine though. I promise.” I held up my hands and laughed. At least I hadn’t gotten drunk and woke up with a hangover. That would have sucked. Regardless, I took a seat at the counter and gratefully took a cup of coffee from the manager. Stopping him from putting in the usual amount of sugar I enjoyed.

“Trying to cut back on unhealthy stuff Sir. Going to have to learn to like it without quite as much sugar.” 

The old ghoul’s smile crinkled the wrinkles around his eyes and he stopped pouring in sugar and slid the finished cup over the counter to me. “I’ll remember that Ms. Aika.”

I sipped on my slightly more bitter coffee trying not to pull a face and pondering the next couple days to come. To distract myself I looked around the empty cafe. The Christmas Day party would be here and the evening before...that I would be spending with Uta. I’d effectively asked him very blatantly on a date; without really saying that exactly. He’d said yes...but did he understand?  
He may be a ghoul, and maybe ghouls would celebrate differently than humans. But he was still japanese. So he must understand that it was the big ‘romantic’ holiday of the year. Even bigger than Valentine's Day.

I couldn’t help but to space out a little throughout the day, I still got my job done and the customers who came in were all happy to see us back in business after being away for so long. I greeted each one like old friends and with happy grins. It was genuinely nice, but each time I found myself with a free moment I’d space out a little.

“BOO!” I jumped and yelped as hands attacked my sides and a girlish voice echoed in my ear. It was followed by howling giggles. Still startled, I turned to look at Roma in her work outfit nearly in tears from laughter after she scared me. “Roma!” I half-whined at the girl. “You scared me half to death…”

With a mixture of howling giggles and stifled snickers the girl wiped away a few stray tears at the corner of her eyes. “You nearly jumped out of your skin!!!”

“Ms Hoito...I see you’ve arrived. I have your uniform in the back if you’d come with me.”

I watched her go with the manager and let out a long sigh. To my side a usual customer smiled kindly up at me; a hint of concern etched on her face. She was an older woman with greying hair and accompanied by an older gentleman as they drank their coffee together. They came in quite often. “Are you alright dear? It seems like that young girl startled you quite badly…”

“Oh don’t worry! I’m fine. She’s a friend of a friend. She likes to joke around. Nothing to worry about. Plus, I’ve been a bit spacy today. It’s probably a good thing to be snapped out of it!” The woman looked reassured and went back to her coffee and the man whom I could only assume was her husband.

Touka got the unfortunate job of training Roma.

I would not have said unfortunate ordinarily; however Roma had a habit of dropping things and acting clumsy. A ‘habit’ that already began to grate on my nerves. I’d seen her drinking and not dropping a single one of Itori’s glasses so that meant ---she was breaking shit on purpose.  
She was also keeping up that ‘innocent’ girl mask that she sometimes had. 

Just like a mask, now that I knew it was a fake face, an act: I began to see the faults and slight cracks in it. 

The manager and other employee’s didn’t seem to notice at all. Touka and Nishki both were only getting frustrated about her breaking things, but didn’t seem to realize she was doing it on purpose.

After cleaning up behind the walking disaster all shift I got ready to leave. Quickly. Before I could do so though she passed me with a tray full of glasses and nearly dumped them all onto the ground. I pulled the tipping tray from her hands and held it aloft; balancing the glass before it could fall and shatter. I met her eyes and lifted an eyebrow at her. Was she really going to act like she was a clumsy git this entire time? Was this funny to her somehow?

“Careful there...you almost fell.” I placed the tray on the counter in front of Irimi and bit the inside of my cheek to keep from snapping at Roma. She may be Uta’s friend, but she wasn’t mine.  
Plus; As much as she was his friend, she was still a ghoul...If I snapped at her she might snap back. So I turned back to her and smiled.

“I hope the rest of your first day is good! Okay! Try not to break too many more cups! Mr. Yoshimura might have to start taking it out of your pay!”

I waved, still hiding behind that smile as I headed out the front door. I kept it up until I was nearly a block away and let it fall away to scowl at the world. 

♥


	30. Chapter 30: Movie Night

Chapter 30:

When I walked into the art studio I had Uta’s attention fairly quickly. It may have been because of the scowl on my face or how perhaps the fact that I didn’t chirp a happy greeting the moment I got into the door. I simply dropped my junk next to a chair and fell into it with a sigh.

The ghoul paused working and took a moment to assess me before speaking up. “Rough day? That’s unusual for you...what’s wrong?”

“Roma…” I growled under my breath, the name bringing a snarl to my face. I placed my palms on my face and tried to rub the irritation off. Sadly It wasn’t working all that well. “Oh?” Uta pushed with his legs and rolled his chair closer. “What did she do?” He asked while leaning close. I could hear a few sniffs near me and glanced upwards as the ghoul. His eyes fixed on me and his eyebrows pulled together ever so slightly; possibly smelling Roma or any number of the other ghouls scents on me.

“...” I opened my mouth to start ranting like I’d really, really love to do. However I paused, looking into those red ghoul eyes of his. “It’s...nothing. It’s fine.” I said, trying to brush it off.

“Don’t lie.” Uta said gently, reaching to take my hand and turn it over to look at the new bandaid I’d put on after the last one got wet and worn out. “Isn’t this healed yet?”

“It probably is. I just figured I’d keep a bandaid on it for a bit. If it’s not closed I don’t want to let anything in it…humans are more fragile than you guys, you know.” I said with another exhale. I let the ghoul examine the bandaid and tried to relax - letting go of the irritation from the day. “What did Roma do…?” Uta asked for a second time.

She was his buddy, pal, fellow Clown and ghoul. So I wasn’t sure just how much he actually wanted to hear me bitch about her to his face. But then again; I had to rant to somebody and Uta seemed to be the only one around who could listen. “Well first she scared the daylights out of me, but I guess that’s fine.” I waved my hand idly. Uta would probably find that pretty funny too. If she thought startling me was funny so be it. “But then she went about this whole act like a clumsy kid. She broke nearly a dozen cups today. Would have broken more if I hadn’t pulled a tray from her hands. I’ve spent so much time cleaning up after that walking disaster zone. I’m glad she got a job if she needed one, but I feel kind of bad for Mr. Yoshimura…that shit is going to get expensive.” I clenched my teeth and seethed. “And she’s doing it on purpose! I just wanna--!!!” I made a small sign with my hands to show I wanted to choke and shake the girl and then took a deep breath to try and calm down. 

“I know that’s awful. She’s your friend...but she’s just so…” I looked up again at the ghoul who didn’t look angry or upset at all with me. I’d have thought when ranting about his clown buddy he might become annoyed with me. Instead he looked borderline amused. “Ai-chan, she can be like that. Just try to stay out of her way, alright? Let Yoshimura sort that out if he does have an issue with her behavior…”

I blinked, surprised by the warning from Uta. “Stay...out of her way?”

“She…” The ghoul paused, hesitating for the briefest of moments before continuing. “...hates humans.” He said releasing my bandaged finger. “What movie do you want to watch tonight Ai-chan.” He said, swapping our conversation quickly before I could ask anything else. I pursed my lips and stared at him with a ‘I know what your doing’ expression before allowing the conversation to swap. He didn’t want to elaborate; so be it.  
“Oh...I thought you picked out some.”

“I have a few ideas. The Notebook.” I lifted my eyebrows a bit as he started to list off movies that were all love stories or typical ‘chick-flicks’, romantic comedies or sweet love stories with happy endings. Finally I had to stop him when he got to “Friends with Benefits’. 

“Uta…” He stopped and cocked his head to the side to stare at me with wide ‘innocent’ eyes. “Did you just look at a list of chick flicks earlier while I was at work…?” I watched as his eyes shifted away to look anywhere but my face. There was my answer. I laughed to myself because that was definitely what this man had done. The dork. A complete goof...

“...how about...Mad Max: Fury Road. I love the guitar guy! Or maybe V for Vendetta. Have you seen those? Although; if you really want to watch a bunch of---”  
“No. Those are good.” Uta spoke up and interrupted me. 

“So, which one is it Uta? A man spreading vigilante justice while hiding behind a mask to take down an unjust and dictator government. Or...a desert society struggling after the fall of normal society!”

I watched the ghouls eyes, seeing how he thought about the two options and finally came to a conclusion --- “The mask one.” Of course he’d like that one. “Good choice. It’s one of my favorites! I think I've watched it about hundred times!”

I stood up from my seat and finally went to Bjorn who’s tail wagged slowly as I approached to pet him. “Were you a good boy!” I cooed to him while scratching behind his ears. I turned my head back to see Uta watching me with a tiny smile on his lips.“I’ve gotta cook something before a movie though, Can I grab some things from home and come back to cook?”

“Yeah, you know where things are. Go ahead. I’ll finish this before I come up.”  
He scooted back over to his desk, turned around and returned to what he’d been working on before I’d gotten back from work. “I’ll be back in a few minutes then. Bjorn. Come’on!~ Lets go outside!~”

♥

When I returned I had a box of spaghetti, soy sauce, bacon, garlic, onion and some mushrooms gathered into my arms. The ghoul didn’t even bother to look up to see who had come in and simply greeted me again with a ‘welcome back’. “Got my foods!~” I announced as I pranced up the stairs into Uta’s apartment with Bjorn hot on my heels. I slid out of my shoes at the doorway and went straight for the kitchen to place all my ingredients down on the counter and look over them. The goal for the night was something called Kinoko pasta. It hadn’t looked terribly difficult online. How could I burn pasta?

I got out a frying pan for the bacon, mushrooms, garlic and onions as well as a pot and filled it with water for the pasta. I placed the pot of water on a burner and turned it on to wait for a boil and put the bacon on to fry. While it did that I began chopping veggies so they could be thrown in with the bacon after.

I pulled my phone out to make double sure I was doing everything alright and set it where I could continue to check on the times. By the time Uta came up the stairs into the apartment I was feeling pretty confident about how well I was doing! The pasta was getting soft in boiling water, the bacon was crispy and the veggies were all in with the bacon now. At a lower heat so none of it would burn as the web page had warned me.  
“How’s it going?”

“Good! I think. Pasta’s a bit easier. If I keep my eye on things and don’t put it on full heat I think I’ll be good.” I pulled the pasta pot off the stove, drained it and then mixed in the soy sauce over the heat. Once it was heated again I added the bacon, mushrooms and other veggies I’d fried into the pot and mixed it together.

“Done!~”

While I poured it all into a bowl and began shoveling a mouthful of pasta and bacon into my mouth I peeked up to see Uta leaning down to peer into his fridge. With the door opened up I saw what I hadn't dared to look for inside Uta's fridge after he'd gone hunting. It was full of meat again; but it was ‘nicely’ organized in those neat little Tupperware boxes. The ghoul plucked out one of those clear bloody boxes and closed the fridge again; hiding those crimson boxes from view. “Movie time?” Uta asked before opening his box and withdrawing a gore drenched chunk of meat with his fingers and dropping it into his upturned open mouth.

I swallowed my own food down and tried to give him a smile only to have it waver slightly. I suppose even I was not yet immune to the humanly uncomfy feeling seeing him pour such gory food into his mouth. It was very fresh! “Y-yeah. E-eh...Yeah. I’ll get it on the TV in a minute.” I walked out into the living room, set my dish on the coffee table so I could find the remote for the TV and search around for the movie. I took a seat and continued to flip until I found it on one of the streaming programs and clicked on it to start it; pausing so we could get situated comfortably.

The ghoul followed me out of the kitchen and sat himself down on the other side of the couch, still happily eating his food. Either he was pretending to not notice my discomfort, or genuinely hadn’t noticed. I was pretty sure it was the former but he wasn’t pointing it out or making fun of me for it. I picked up my own plate again and shoveled my food into my mouth while trying to block out a few crunches that came from the ghoul next to me. For those, he apologized quietly. “--thought I got all the bones out before…”

“It’s fine.” I shushed his apologies and clicked the play button; focused on my own food and the movie. It only took a few minutes before I was hooked on the movie completely forgetting the ghoul was dumping a fresh kill into his mouth. This movie really was one of my favorites. I could almost recite all of it. Especially when it came to V’s speech. When that moment came I stopped eating to speak along with it with about as much gusto as the actor.

“But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then, in lieu of the more commonplace sobriquet, to suggest the character of this dramatis persona. Voila! In view humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the “vox populi” now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin, van guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.”  
I took a short breath at the pause and continued in my best imitation of the voice. “The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it’s my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.”

I chuckled at the following question asked by the character of Evey. “Are you like a crazy person?” I peeked over to Uta who was looking at me quite curiously with raised eyebrows. I grinned a little sheepishly and apologized. “Sorry. I really like this movie. It’s set in a dystopian fascist London. I always found it interesting.” The ghoul turned back to movie, peeking at me from the corner of his eye and smirked faintly. “I assumed as much. You remember that word for word…”

“I guess other people learn Shakespearean quotes but I suppose I just learned some movie quotes! Not nearly as romantic is it…?” I paused, realizing the words that fell out of my mouth. “Romantic?” The ghoul glanced away from the screen again briefly. Blushing faintly I shook my head and tried to brush off what I’d said. “Or, you know ‘sophisticated’. Everybody seems to think those quotes are so original to know. But they’re overused and common now-a-days. Say something so often it loses its meaning...OH!” I directed Uta’s attention back to the screen as V started the ‘music’; The 1812 Overture that ended with explosions.  
♥

I relaxed as we continued to watch the movie, once in a while I’d quote quietly to myself. It was soon after we had both finished our food that our dishes sat emptied on the coffee table to be cleaned out later. An hour passed by and I’d wiggled little by little to get closer to the ghoul until finally he noticed and moved an arm to encircle my waist and pull me closer.

“Stay the night?” He asked quietly as the credits rolled from our first movie of the night. “We can start the other one you mentioned…”

“That one is long too…” I muttered, but couldn’t argue anymore that staying would be nice. I had found myself a fairly comfortable spot right where I was with my head resting on his shoulder. “Work tomorrow…” I added. Uta, on the other hand, ignored my sound reasoning and leaned forward to pick up the remote; beginning to look for the other movie. “What was the name of the other movie?”

I smiled despite myself seeing that he wasn’t dropping it. I suppose that staying wouldn’t be so bad, I just had to give myself extra time in the morning. I sat up a little bit since he moved and smiled gently. “Mad Max…but I’ll probably fall asleep halfway through.”

“That’s fine.” Uta clicked on the play button of the movie. He set aside the remote and leaned back into place. His free arm once again wrapped gently,almost hovering, around my middle. With him leaned back to enjoy the next movie I shuffle my position just a little to resume my laying in my comfy spot. You can bet your life that if he was comfortable with this and was going to let me lean on him through a movie I was going to do it! While his apartment was far from freezing up it was still nice to be closer to him and share a little bit of body warmth in the dead of winter.  
Plus it’s not like this hadn’t already happened…  
I hadn’t heard any complaints then.

Inevitably though, I was truly tired and I did find myself slipping closer to sleep as the minutes wore on. Mad Max and V for Vendetta were both fairly long movies; both spanning over two hours each which was putting us well into the territory of late night and past my 'bedtime'.

My sleepy self closed my eyes and began to breathe gently, well on my way to sleep not long after the movie began. I remembered waking up a few short times during the movie. Specifically when the guitar guy startled blaring loud music, but I easily closed my eyes again and drifted back away from reality.

♥

The next time I drifted somewhere nearer to consciousness I found myself in a dark, quiet room on a soft surface and with a pillow tucked under my head. A bed; my reasonable mind concluded and then accepted - falling back to sleep without even questioning how I might have gotten into a bed that I did not own.

I had not set my alarm for the morning, however It turned out that Uta had awoken early to awaken me because I was being gently shaken and spoken to by the ghoul with a smooth voice. “Ai-chan. Wake up...wake up Ai-chan…” I turned, peering into red eyes and blinking blearily. “Huh?”  
“You have to be at work in an hour.” Slow to understand the words, I leaned up on my elbows and continued to blink up at him stupidly. “Work?”  
“Unless you’ve quit, yes.” The ghoul reached out and gently patted my head with a funny smile on his face. “Wake up Ai-chan...unless you’d rather call out sick to lounge in my bed all day instead. I wouldn't mind...”

My mind began to settle back on real life, and I heard Bjorn's barking in the room next door and looked around the room again; now finally it registered where I was and how I must have gotten here. Had he slept here too? Or had he kept his earlier promise to sleep on the couch. Not that I wanted to steal his bed away from him, but sleeping next to him would be too much for me to think about just now---! My face began to burn with heat as I looked up at the ghoul. “I--I’m sorry. I’m in your bed again...I could have slept on the couch!”

“It’s fine. I slept on the couch.” He replied, answering at least one of my questions.  
“You didn’t have to!” I argued without thinking, and watched as he simply smirked as a reply.  
“Either way, you need to get up unless you're taking up my offer to work in my studio instead.” 

I leaned up in bed, looking myself over when I’d tossed off the blankets that burritoed me in warmth. I was still in all my clothes and would need to head home, find another set of worth clothes to wear and get a shower because I had once again slept in Uta’s bed. As much as people hadn’ said much about it - I was now comically aware that everybody would know that I had. It would be just my luck that I’d give them all the wrong idea…

“Shit…” I cursed, realizing I had to really hurry up if I wanted to make it in time. “I’ve got to go right now. I spotted Bjrons big head stuffed through the doors crack into the room to stare at us both. “Could you watch him again…?” I asked timidly. The fear he’d say no disappeared as he was nodding his head almost before the entire question was out of my mouth.

I jumped out of bed, meaning to hurry along and head home. I did pause in the apartment as I spotted something brightly colored hung up on the wall that I hadn’t noticed before. The ghoul had followed me out into the entrance of his home and followed my gaze. “...I thought it was a nice spot for it.”

My painting stood out from his rather dully colored apartment and brought some color to the room from it’s new home on Uta’s wall. He’d hung it up on the wall, where anybody could see no less. I could cry. It was silly - because of course that’s what you do with paintings - but it made me almost unbearably happy to see it on his wall proudly displayed.

The ghoul didn’t linger nearby, instead heading into the kitchen and making himself a cup of coffee in his shitty coffee maker. I said my goodbyes to the ghoul before exiting the building - still overwhelmed with the happy fluttering of joy in my chest.

♥

Today I did my best to avoid Roma when she came in to work and if anybody noticed they weren’t saying anything. I even let the girl dump a tray of cups to the ground and saw her face when she noted that I hadn’t tried to stop her this time. Honestly I couldn’t tell what she thought of it- but I still went by what Uta had said. Stay out of her way.

Touka and Nishiki dealt with her clumsiness for the most part except when I was the one to follow behind; cleaning up after her messes. It didn’t take long for them to deem that she should begin to clean them herself though since she wasn’t being helpful in nearly any other way.

I didn’t know how he did it, but the manager didn’t seem to have a temper to spark. He always remained calm and with that kindly smile plastered across his face. Before I left the day, exhausted form the effort of ‘staying out of roma’s way’ Yoshimura called me over to speak.“Ms. Aika. Remember you are invited to come join us on Christmas day for our party, as is Uta if he’d like to join.”

I’d almost forgotten about the party here with other topics now dancing through my mind. Christmas Eve and tomorrows ‘not date’ for one. Except the more I thought about it the more I wished I’d actually told him I’d asked him out as a date. “Yes! I’ll be there! Should I bring gifts or…?”

He shook his head. “If you’d like to you may, but it’s not necessary. It is just a small gathering for staff and friends.” I nodded, grinning up at the old man. Surprisingly he questioned me: “Are you doing anything tomorrow night? I could use some help setting up the cafe with lights.”

I paused, caught staring up at him and having to shake my head. “Sorry sir...I’ve actually got plans tomorrow...I’m going to go see the illuminations with Uta-kun…” Very clearly I could see that this news did a little to surprise the older gentleman, but not so much that he’d baulk. “I see, forgive me for asking but a date?”

I blushed pink as the old man asked me so blatantly. “I--well...not exactly…I just asked if he’d go with me was all…” I fiddled with the buttons on my work shirt and stared down at my feet. I'm too nervous to look up. What would he think of that? He’d had a human wife...and Kimi and Nishiki were…---not that me and Uta were a couple.

“You too have fun then.” The manager said, with a smile that seemed not only just kind but also knowing. “And be safe. It’s suppose to get rather cold tomorrow night, so bundle up.”

I nodded, still flushed but relieved that he at least didn’t seem to be trying to warn me off from spending my time with Uta, or even my weak attempts at starting what might be called a ‘date’. “I will sir! And maybe Roma will help you with the lights…” I saw the old mans eyebrows raise and realize that I was stilling a slightly off color joke. Of course with her dropping all his shit he wasn’t about to ask her for that help. “I think that I may ask Yomo for some help instead.” He chuckled softly and waved me goodbye and a happily holiday.

I made sure to wish my other coworkers a happy holiday, even Roma, before I left for the night and headed home. I’d be seeing them all on Christmas for the party. Even Touka’s mood seemed to lift when I waved and smiled to her. I don’t know how I could have thought that Roma had been like her at all. At least it seemed like Touka’s icy attitude may melt like Renji had stated at the bar.

I sent Uta a message on my way back stating that I’d be on my way home. Doing so would spare me from having to reject someone’s offer to walk me home everyday. If I went missing they’d have an idea of---

“Ms. Kaneshiro! One moment please!” I halted at the entrance to the subway station and looked around with wide eyes searching for the familiar person calling for me. Behind me an out of breath investigator jogged up to me and came to a rest, breathing heavily. With my heart in my throat I coughed lightly and then spoke up. “Mr. Amon. Hello. How...can I help you? Were you running from something?”

The man laughed softly, a good sign if he wasn’t coming to cut me down for something I’d done wrong. Like harbor ghouls…  
“No, I’m sorry. I just got to your workplace and found out that you’d just left. I’m glad I caught up to you.” He straightened up and looked down at me. “I apologize Ms. Ka---Aika.” He started; fucking up and almost using my family name again. “I know I told you I wouldn’t bother you unless the test results were out of the ordinary.” He pulled a file of papers from his jacket and held them out to me. “You’ll be happy to know I can confirm that you’re not a ghoul. However, your Rc count is higher than the average person. I’d recommend getting retested once in a while because you may need RC blocking medicine at some point...” He looked down at me with a slightly sad expression on his face. “...I don’t want to frighten you but ROS is a possibility if your count were to go much higher…”

I looked down at the paperwork he’d handed me and looked over the numbers that made very little sense to me. “Mines high?”  
“For a human.” He held up his hands and smiled; a friendly motion with a kind expression. “You’ve got almost nothing to worry about though. Cases of ROS are fairly rare, but I did want to tell you…”

“Ah…” I said, looking back down at the paper. “What do these numbers mean?” I asked, looking over the data blankly. “Oh...ah...There!” He said, leaning over me and indicating with his index finger to a number on the sheet of paper. “--that’s your Rc count. 670. Most people are between 200 and 500. Though there are some outliers like yourself. Rarely people come in contact with contaminants or are affected by genetics. I don’t want to worry you there’s nothing to fear. If you were a ghoul or had ROS it would be over a thousand. So you’re still quite a ways away from that.”

I put a smile on my face and glanced up with my forced sunny expression. “Well that’s a load off my mind. I started to worry there for a minute. I’m glad to hear I’m not in immediate danger...still ROS would be scary…” I tucked away the papers under my arm.  
“You’re on your way home?” The investigator asked and I nodded.  
“Let me make sure you get back safe.” I was about to reject his offer, but how strange would that have seemed? It’s not like he didn’t know where I lived; or worked for that matter. Just how much information did the CCG have on the citizens?  
Scary…

“Yeah sure. If you're not too busy that is. I don’t want to take you away from your job.”  
“The safety of the people is my job! I’d be happy to make sure you got home. Ms. K--Aika.”

♥

Being walked home by a tall, dark haired, traditionally handsome man who ‘protected and served’ the community should have made me feel safe, but I felt uneasy until I parted ways with him at my door. Closing him off from the rest of my world I peered through the peephole to make sure he’d left for good.

I waited for some time after and changed clothes before heading to Uta’s. Before leaving my house I glanced up and down the street out of a new, brief sense of paranoia.The last thing I needed was an investigator showing up unexpectedly in my life.

I let myself into Uta’s studio and called out for him. “…” The ghoul glanced up from his desk and choked his head. “Roma again…?” While Roma had certainly been tiring it wasn’t the reason for my sullen expression. Shaking my head I seated myself gently into a seat and sighed, pulling out the paperwork Amon had given me. While I’d waited for Amon to be far away I’d debated whether to show Uta the paperwork…

The ghoul fixated curiously on the paper and took them from me. After looking over them I could see his expression barely shifted. His eyebrows pulled together briefly as his eyes passed over something (likely my RC count) and read onwards. “These are the test results from that blood test?” I nodded and waited for his reaction. When nothing else followed I added my own input. “Apparently Amon thought it was adequate to bother me before the holidays despite his promise to leave me be…he mentioned ROS, but said not to worry too much about it. Just that I needed to have regular checkups once in a while to make sure the number doesn't rise further. Apparently that’s odd for a human. I don’t know why mine would be so high…”

“He’s probably right. Nothing to worry about. You're still very human.” Uta said softly, handing the papers back to me. “Maybe it’s why you smell so delicious.” I fixed him with a pout and stuck my tongue out at him. “You’ve got food upstairs if you're hungry; eat that.”

The ghoul’s smile twitched on his face and he leaned back. “That’s a good idea. I wouldn’t want to accidentally forget not to eat you. Would you fetch me a box?” I scowled at the dark joke and put my hands on my hips. “Only if you promise not to bite!”

“If you say so Ai-chan.” The ghoul smirked and turned back to his work; stitching red thread through a new leather mask. I tucked away my blood test results back into a pocket and headed up the stairs to get Uta his dinner from the fridge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of cute stuff, not quite date night yet!~  
> Next time!
> 
> I apologize for the longer than normal intermission. Getting life stuff in order!  
> Car to get to work is finally fixed!~
> 
> I also admit when I had free time the other day I've been playing WOW again XD My bad.


	31. Chapter 31: Christmas Eve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the very long wait. On my days off last week I ended up going fishing with family and then getting a huge sunburn that made me wanna die in a fire --- so suffice to say I didn’t type much. This week I’ve tried to type as much of it as fast as possible- but I continue to struggle with romance. So it took a bit longer!
> 
> Fluff and angst is really my style, but I’m trying here!

I wouldn’t linger for too long at Uta’s after I’d walked up stairs, grabbed a box of random human organs, skin and...god I didn’t want to think of what else. I think I could see an ear pressed up against the clear case of the tupperware but I ignored it to keep myself from hurling. 

Without missing a hitch I slid the box in front of him and smiled. In return I got a gentle, soothing ‘thank you’ from him that made the trip holding a box full of human meat almost completely worth it. No matter how much it made my stomach do flips. “No problem.” I answered him, and then commented that tonight I’d be heading home early. As I put on my coat to leave he spoke up again. 

“When do you want to head out tomorrow night…?” He questioned and then popped a bit of meat into his mouth. I thought about it, mulling it over and shrugged. Personally I would have been okay with spending another day with him since we were free for the holidays, but it might also be nice to spend the early hours of the day getting dressed up for the night. “Well...The lights won’t be really visible very well before dark. But I don’t have any other plans.”

The ghoul chewed his food for a while, thinking over some internal question before finally giving it a voice. “The sun sets around five. I’ll pick you up at your door.” I nodded in agreement and shot the ghoul a smile. I hoped that maybe he’d realize that it...was supposed to be a date. It was pretty much as ‘date-like’ as you could get...

“I’ll see you later then…” I waved, ready to go but the ghoul made me pause again by calling my name. “Ai-chan. What are you eating tonight?” I paused half-way in and out of the doorway to look back at the ghoul. Cooking was out of the question since I wasn’t staying over, and he knew that. I laughed softly and shook my head. “Don’t worry so much Uta-kun!” Seeing the look on his face shift with raised eyebrows I knew of course he was worried...he’d picked my nearly unconscious body off the street because my dumb ass had almost starved. “I’m not starving myself! I promise! I’ve got fresh veggies and stuff that doesn't need to be cooked at home.” He seemed to relax when I explained and popped another chunk of meat that looked like it might have been that ear into his mouth.

“Goodnight Ai-chan.”

“Night!” I called, waving again and letting myself and Bjorn out the door to head towards home.  
As it happened Yoshimura was right about the nights getting colder, it was rather bitter tonight and the wind chill wasn’t helping as the chill seemed to sink through my jacket and straight to my core making me shiver.

♥

I didn’t set my alarm for early in the day and woke up with sun creeping across the skin into midday noon. Bjorn, the precious pup finally woke me up by licking my face and whining into my ears. With that wake up call I got myself up, dressed enough to take Bjorn outside to do his business and then returned back inside to truly start my day. There was approximately T- Minus six hours until our date! Or not date...or whatever it was. Already my stomach was doing flips that made scarfing down food difficult without feeling like I’d puke it back up.

“I should have just asked him on a proper date…” I said as the nerves were starting to get to me. I gently squished Bjorns face between my hands while he wagged his whole body at me. “Then I wouldn’t be in this limbo and I needn’t worry about a thing...” I let go of the dogs face and grinned as he tried to shove his head back between my hands and snuggled. “You're a good boy…”

And so the day had started and I began my effort to not only pretty myself up, but to boost my own confidence. Clothes and makeup were picked out easily and set aside to use later. But with most of the day ahead of me I had other things to take care of first. Shaving then scrubbing my skin with plenty of soapy bubbles left my skin smooth and comfortable. By the time I left the shower I had to admit that I felt...pretty alright with myself. I cleaned up pretty dang well; if I do say so myself!   
Although…   
I reached up to feel at the ends of my hair and frowned. My hair could use a trim, especially the ends but that wasn’t something I could do myself without butchering it horribly. I did what I could with what I had, braiding it and tying it back and out of the way. I took a long hard look at myself in the mirror fixing makeup here and there before finally accepting it. 

Bored and left with plenty of time between now and then I started by painting my fingernails to match my outfit.

♥  
When Uta arrived at my door, announced with a gentle knock, I had a terrible case of the butterflies. I fidgeted nervously with the hem of my clothes; making sure that it was all in it's proper place. Not a hair out of line, or missing anything I needed. My coat, wallet and phone were all with me as well as my bag that always held my own personal mask. A necessary item when around and associating with ghouls.

I double checked the peephole to make sure it was Uta and spotted a close up of his face, and eyeball peeking back at me. Despite my anxiety I still snickered. I left Bjorn at home with a big chunk of meat for him to gnaw at and some peanut butter treats that he just adored. With a pat on his head I left him, telling him to be a good boy for me while I was gone.

I took a deep breath and I steeled myself to walk outside.

I pulled open the door and smiled at Uta who stepped back to give me space to get out. “Hey! Sorry I took an extra minute to make sure Bjorn was settled with some nice treats.” I explained as I peered up at the ghoul. I was pleasantly surprised to see that he’d not worn his baggy pants and clogs out; not that there was anything wrong with them. In their place he was wearing a pair of straight legged suit pants and black dress shoes.

“Is...this a tie?” I giggled while reaching to touch the accessory around the collar of his shirt. “You look really fancy Uta-kun.”

“Too much?” He asked a small frown forming on his lips. Instantly I was snapped my head side to side. “No. Not at all! It looks good.” Very good! I couldn't help but to give him a once or twice over to appreciate the new look.  
“You look nice too Ai-chan...” My blood rushed back to my cheeks as I recalled that Uta wasn’t the only one dressed up nicely for the evening; I’d also spent quite some time on my appearance. My first instinct was to tell him it was nothing; that I'd just been trying to look halfway decent almost sprung to my lips. However I stopped the self-degrading explanation quickly. Instead I forced myself to accept the compliment and smile broadly. “Thank you! I thought I’d dress up a little bit."

“Are you going to be warm enough?” Uta added, peering down at my knee-length dress and leggings. They were thick and cozy, but not altogether the warmest thing I could have chosen. Despite the warnings about the weather so far I didn’t feel too cold and I figured if it did get too cold we could slip into a warm shop or cafe for a coffee.  
“I’ll be fine!” I replied with a bright smile plastered on my face. “Ready? I know there’s one location in Minato that is supposed to have the coolest holiday lights!” I pulled out my phone and pulled up “Caretta Shiodome” and turned it around for him to see. “It’s in the 3rd ward. There's also some in Chiyoda but I can’t imagine that going over so well…”

“We can go if you want.” The ghoul peered down at me with wide, dark eyes but I shook my head firmly. “I’d rather we stick to somewhere safer for you. The ones in Chiyoda are very close to the CCG’s main office...I know for a fact there’s probably hundreds of officers out patrolling because of all the foot traffic tonight. Anyway, with my luck I’d run into Amon again. I kind of wonder if he’s keeping an eye on me because of that test or something...” I rolled my eyes as the ghoul beside me grinned and chuckled. “I’d be okay Ai-chan...” He said softly, peering down at me before adding. “-but I appreciate the thought. How about we check out the 3rd ward first to see how crowded it is? Afterwards we can try the first ward.”

I wanted to fight him on this; stick to my guns and tell him it was too much trouble for a ghoul to head to the first ward of all places but I couldn’t do much except pout about it and that wouldn’t get us anywhere. “Alright...but we're leaving as soon as we spot any investigators. I've got my mask." I patted my bag. "-but I'd really rather not be chased around on a d-holiday.” I bit my tongue briefly as ‘date’ almost slipped out. “They’re kinda a buzz kill.”

“They can be fun!” Uta replied with a small smirk on his face.  
I couldn’t help but to grimace at his comment. He probably meant fighting and killing them; he had said he eats investigators from time to time. “Yeah, well you can run faster than me, and a lot longer. It’s not fun for me! Plus you’d have to protect me...I still can’t fight them. I'd like to avoid getting murdered by them tonight...”

His clothes weren't the only unusual change to the ghoul I knew. Uta looked forward down the alleyway and smiling broadly to himself. I noticed while walking with him that the expression was relaxed and he wore it easily. Most of the time his expressions were fairly blank with only micro-expressions to go by.

Smirks, tiny smiles, raised eyebrows and other small indicators were the only thing to show off whatever his current mood was; but now he had a full smile on his face. I knew now why I’d been unsure if those old photo’s Itori had shared had really been him. It wasn’t because of the lack of tattoos, piercings or even the blonde hair. It was his smile and how open expression his older self had been. Somewhere between then and now he’d closed up and kept his straight-faced poker routine up.

“Ai-chan?” The ghoul questioned, breaking me out of my thoughts and causing me to realize I’d been staring blatantly at the ghoul and he'd noticed. “Is something wrong?” He’d stopped smiling and was peering down at me curiously; head tilted to the side.

“N-no! Sorry...I was just thinking.”

The ghoul made a small ‘humming’ noise but kept his eyes on me as we walked. “What about?” He asked after several seconds of quiet between us. I searched his face and saw he’d put back on that poker face mask and it made me quite sad. “I guess I realized how hard it was to read your expressions when I first met you. I guess I’ve gotten used to it. I noticed you were smiling just now…”

“I smile…” Uta said. I giggled faintly and shook my head, looking straight ahead of us. “Not like that you don’t.” I turned to nod at his current expression as proof; waving my hand in front of my face to swap between a solem cold expression to a happy one. “You’ve got this mask over your face most of the time. Even without a ‘real’ mask. I have to go by your eyes a lot of the time. Sunglasses make that really hard...”

When the ghoul stayed quiet I added. “It was nice...I was thinking you looked a bit like the old photo’s Itori showed me.” I nudged him. “The blond didn’t look bad you know!”

“I’m not bleaching my hair blond Ai-chan!~” He finally spoke up again, a smirk flickering back to life on his face. I laughed, letting out puffs of hot air to float away from me in the cold evening air. “No? No fun! It didn’t look bad!”

“I had to shave it all off for it to grow in right again.”  
Struck silent I couldn't help but to stare at his current dark hair. Bald Uta? I laughed pretty hard at that until I was grasping my stomach. “P-pleeease tell me there’s photo evidence of this!?”  
“No.” Uta told me sharply; however knowing Itori I doubt she would have let that gone undocumented with a photo. I’d have to ask her for evidence later when Uta wasn’t around. “Okay. I totally believe you!~”

The ghoul narrowed his eyes as he stared down at me, but said nothing. We both knew I’d be searching for evidence on this later. “I know where to go to dig up dirt on you Uta! You introduced me to Itori - that was your own mistake!~” I giggled, grinning up at him; all smiles and teeth. He had successfully gotten me off topic however, leading us away from his metaphorical mask. We need to have a mask that we never take off. That was something he said and acted on in public. But it was nice to see glimpses where he didn’t act like that…

“Uta-kun!~” I chirped, grabbing his attention again. “...you looked happy.” I said while giving the male my own genuinely happy smile. He studied me from the corner of his eye. A smile, small but noticeable returned and he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and I leaned into the embrace and relaxed. “I’ve got a secret.” He said quietly next to my ear.

“I am happy...”

“I’m glad you agreed to come out and see the lights with me.” I noted, still leaning into the ghoul as we made our way towards the subway station to hitch a ride to see some of the more colorful and bright parts of Tokyo. Here and there stores in the 4th had small light decorations. Especially a cafe here or there but nothing compared to the larger displays along main streets or attractions. I heard, and felt the ghoul chuckle next to me. “If you hadn’t asked I’d have just sat in my shop working.”  
“On a holiday?” I very vehemently hated the thought of Uta sitting alone in his shop working over a mask on the holiday. He may love his work, but you had to stop sometime and a holiday should be spent...doing something fun at least.

“Hum...yeah. It’s mostly a….” He paused and seemed to be searching for a word. “It’s not a holiday I normally celebrate unless I’m invited to a party.” He leaned close again and spoke; a question. “Correct me if I’m wrong; but isn’t this holiday normally also celebrated with food?”

I rolled my eyes but nodded. “Yeah. It’s kinda silly though...I hear in other parts of the world people like to eat turkey or goose. But around here there’s not so many of those so a lot of people go and get boxes of chicken from KFC…” I laughed gently and shook my head. “Anyway, I’m not dragging you out to torture you with human food. I’ll get something later.”

“Are you sure, I could---” I stopped him mid sentence with a shake of my head. Absolutely not. I don’t care if I was actually starving I would not drag the ghoul out to someplace where he had to pretend to enjoy food that tastes bad to him. Not to mention could actually do him harm! “Nope! I’ll be fine without some fried chicken Uta.” I laughed and gently nudged him. “I just wanna see the lights and hang out with you.”

Another ‘hum’ came from the ghoul as he thought. “Want to see the lights from a ghouls eye view?”

“Up on a skyscraper you mean? It’s too cold for that!”  
“So if it were warmer you don’t mind the view?” Uta grinned and chuckled. “It wouldn’t be too bad. I do it all the time.” As tempting as it was, and no matter how beautiful the view would be I couldn't agree to go at this time of year. “I don’t want to get sick Uta, especially since work is back and Renji-kun is supposed to start training me. He might get grumpy if I have to delay it because I got sick...” I nudged him gently again getting an exaggerated “oof” out of him.”Alright, alright!~”

♥

Before we got to the station Uta pulled me gently from the street’s sidewalk to a windowed shop with warm lights glowing from within. “Uta what are yo---” I paused as he pointed at a little cake decorated with strawberries and white fluffy frosting. “How about that?”  
He must have seen my initial expression when I spotted what he was pointing at because his smile curled into a larger grin even before I could reply. “Come on.” He pulled gently, tugging us into the shop letting the bell chime behind us. “Hello!~” The shopkeeper immediately greeted us warmly. “How can I help you lovely couple?”

“That cake there.” The ghoul pointed at the cake, oblivious to the shopkeepers comment on us being a couple. I watched silently as the ghoul picked out the cake and paid for it but I felt a heat fall over my cheeks seeing the look I got from the bakery owner. “Have fun!~ Merry Christmas!”

Outside the bakery again the ghoul handed me the cake while looking altogether too proud of himself. Like he’d brought home a prized meal. In all honesty, it was cute seeing him look at me with those dark eyes searching for approval. “For you, of course.”  
I took it, unable to turn down the gesture and grinned down at the sweet treat. “You know. You could have gotten a slice or two of cake without buying the entire thing…but I guess this’ll stop you from carrying me up the side of a building.”

“Will it?” The ghoul chuckled, leaning into me as we resumed out walk to the station with his arm around my shoulder once again. “Yes it will, or you’ll end up wearing it.” I said, pouting. “And not even because I’d toss it at you. I think we’d drop it by accident on the way up.”

“Ah, true. But if we do we can get another one!” The ghoul turned his gaze down at my cake and stared at it until I felt the question welling out of my mouth. “Something wrong?”  
“No. I just wonder what this tastes like to you...it looks pretty. Human food is always a bit like art.” I almost laughed because it sounded a bit silly, but seeing his expression stopped me. I took the moment to look - really- look, at the cake in my hands and slowly allowed myself to appreciate it for 'art'. He was right. Especially cakes with how they added flare and frills.

“Yeah, I guess you're right. It’s a shame you can’t even taste it…” I said gently. Not being able to get nutrients is one thing, but not being able to taste it seemed like a needlessly cruel trick from nature.

“Maybe one day science will take the leap and decide to help ghouls out…” I said softly so the other couples passing here and there couldn’t hear. “Then you could try cake, milkshakes, and fried chicken!” I laughed gently before looking up at the ghoul. My heart skipped a beat as I met his eyes. “Do you think that’s possible Ai-chan?”

Staring into the eyes many people despised; and I hated that I didn’t know the answer to his question.   
“Who knows…” I said gently, unable to give him another answer. “It’s not like they’re looking at anything to help…” Just more weapons to use against ghouls. I'd looked up some things since I'd met Uta and found out they had all sorts of things including this anti-RC gas they used agaist ghouls. But those geniuses couldn't figure out how to make anything helpful could they? I leaned towards the ghoul and sighed. “But who knows. It might even be simple to do.”

“What do you mean?” Uta asked as we walked into the subway and entered a train heading to our ultimate destination. While he never ignored what I had to say, he seemed especially interested even as he gently tugged on my coat to get me to sit down next to him. It had been a while since I’d had my private schooling, but I’d far from forgotten it. “Sense of smell and taste are closely linked and can be changed temporarily by a variety of medications or even natural fruits already. We already know your sense of smell is different.” I reached up and gently touched the tip of his nose. No human could smell as well as a ghoul, and if they thought humans smelled tasty then that was certainly a different set of receptors. “It’s why when humans get sick food tastes really bad. Without our sense of smell we can’t smell it properly…it accounts for about 80% to 90% of our taste.”

“---I suppose that’s why only strong salty soups, coffee and tea taste alright if we've got a stuffy nose. It’s a stronger flavor, even without the smell of it. Then again I guess there’s things more important than being able to taste cake.” I shrugged and smiled weakly up at the ghoul who raised his eyebrows at my final comment. “Oh? Something more important? I think personally I’d like to try cake...”

aze dropped from those dark eyes of his to the slightly wet floor the subway - tracked in from it’s passengers. “Like...a food substitute? Or something that isn’t just, you know. Killing each other...” I opened my mouth quickly, looking up into his eyes while I added: “I’m not condemning ghouls. I don’t want you to think I am. I just think there’s ways society as a whole has failed. Ghouls and humans both...We could have figured this out without mass murder on either side...but people have been more interested in fighting…”

I leaned back in my subway seat and watched out the large dark glass. The ghoul next to me was pretty quiet after I finished talking and I wondered if I’d struck some sort of sore nerve. Not that I’d blame him.I was surprised when I heard him chuckle next to me, albeit it was strained. Glancing over I saw a smile; slightly bitter sweet on his face. “I know you're not Ai-chan. But I don’t think that will be happening in our lifetime…”

As much as I wanted to argue, I didn’t have any power to change anything by myself in a way to actually enact any meaningful help. I’d love to have the power to tell Uta, his friends and everyone at the cafe that it could change for the better. But today all I could do was go with the flow to keep myself afloat. Alive and with my friends. “...yeah I know. I'm sorry...”

“I---” I was cut off as I gasped and pressed my nose against the glass of the train window while looking to see all the lights over the city. “Uta! Look!” The ghoul must have looked as well because I could hear him gently compliment it with a simple statement of: “Pretty.” With my cake in hand I walked out of the station and started heading towards the largest collection of lights in the area with Uta in tow. While I spun around to look at all the lights Uta trailed along with me, staring at me as I twirled in circles to get a good look at everything. 

When I found a good spot I pulled the ghoul gently to stand in front of some lights and had him hold the cake for me so I could pull out my phone. The ghoul started to question me before I snapped a picture. “Uta-kun! Smile!” I urged while grinning at him! I clicked a few pictures and then picked out the one that got the lighting and our smiles just right. With a few button presses I had it as my home screen photo turned it around for him to see what I’d done. “There!~”

“You’ll have to send me that one.” I nodded, already swiping my finger across the screen and sending it Uta’s way. “Sent!”

I went back to taking in the sights around us, marveling at all the lights. I’d been here once as a kid when my parents had come out on the holiday; likely on a date of their own with their young child tottering after them. That must have been a bit of a kill-joy and they likely would have preferred to leave me behind, as they had in later years. But now, years after I thought the lights were just as magical to me as it had been back then. 

We walked along enjoying the atmosphere for quite some time.All the lights were all twisted around trees and poles artfully. I snapped pictures of both the lights and of Uta and myself. Several blocks from where we had begun our site seeing I spotted something that had me returning to stand close to Uta. Nudging him lightly I stared at the two men walking shoulder to shoulder and watching the crowd rather than the light show happening all around us. They looked like the worst disguised undercover cops among all the couples snuggled up in their coats and clinging to each other. “Hey Uta---?” I started a question for the ghoul. He nodded minutely. “I see them.” He whispered, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me close as we passed. “It’s fine. Just keep walking…”

Uta continued walking without a hitch while avoiding looking at the men. They passed without incident and I was very aware that I only managed to relax after they were out of sight. Uta on the other hand had never seemed to tense up or gotten ready to flee; or fight if the need had arisen. “How do you stay relaxed…?” I muttered quietly. I remembered how the ghouls at the cafe would stand a little straighter or stop talking when an investigator walked by the front window. “You get used to it after a while…You missed a couple that already walked by.” He turned his head to survey around us.  
“Hey..." I said softly, as though someone might hear us over the holiday music playing in the streets. It was shocking that I’d missed spotting some investigators already. It made sense though after the prison break from the ghoul facility they would be out in force to make sure everyone was safe. "...How about we don’t risk it by going into the first ward tonight?”

I could see him about to tell me that we’d be fine so I added softly: “Please…? I don’t want you to get hurt. If there are already quite a few here and there’s likely even more there...” It was a cheap trick and I knew it, but pleading did seem to work quite effectively. The ghoul exhaled, looked around us and seemed to relent completely as we both spotted another set of suited men at the same time; both seated on a bench and watching the crowds. That made four investigators on top of the ones he’d already spotted while I’d been distracted.  
“I haven't seen this many in one place in a while. Alright…” He pulled out his phone briefly, glancing at the time. “It’s only a little past nine…” It was early and we hadn’t spent nearly as much time out as I’d have hoped, not to mention...he still hadn’t seemed to realize it was supposed to be a date. I wrapped my arm around his and pulled myself a little closer to his body heat; shivering a little bit as the cold seeped in. Leggings really hadn’t been a good choice - no matter how nice the dress looked! “Can we just avoid them around here...we can stop at a cafe? I’ll buy coffee! My treat!?”

“Coffee sounds good.” The ghoul smiled before glancing around briefly. “Come’on. Before those other two come back around…”

♥

Uta as it happened was able to maneuver us expertly through a crowd and avoided several investigators on our way to a cafe. The cafe we found was filled with couples young and old; giggling and blushing or sharing fond memories of holidays past. None of them looked up to see us enter and studied the quaint little shop. The only person to notice our entry was a woman behind the counter who offered to find us a seat and begin to make us both hot coffees.

I seated myself across from the ghoul and slid my cake in front of myself, briefly wondering if they’d mind too much if I ate just a little. For the moment Uta seemed interested in the other humans patrons around us, watching them closely as they muttered their Chismas plans to each other. When his attention focussed back on myself I looked up from the cake: “Hum?” I questioned the look he was giving me while we waited for our drinks. “You didn’t have anybody else to ask to come out with you?” He asked, head tilted with raised eyebrows. 

I froze up at the question because as innocently as it was posed I was confused and a little hurt by it. I was a little unsure how to take it. “Did...you not want to come?” I questioned in a tone that I couldn’t force to sound unaffected. “No that's not…” He started to say, but I interrupted.  
“I wasn’t trying to force you to...”

“...that's not what I meant.” He stared across the table meaningful, a small wave of his hand around the cafe of people and their loved ones. “You could have brought...anybody who wasn’t like me.” I bit my lip and tried not to look straight at the ghoul. Did I have to spell it out for him? D.A.T.E.   
I snorted and shook my head. “Maybe. But I wanted to go with you…” I said only putting a little extra emphasis on ‘you’ in hopes that it would get through to him. “Even if there were another option; I didn’t want to ask anybody else.” I said more firmly and raised my eyes to meet his.

“Here you two are!~ Enjoy!” I forced a smile up at the young woman who brought us both our coffees and waited until she was further away to look back at Uta. He sat still; watching me from over his newly acquired hot drink. I’d given him my answer and now he seemed to be lost in thought over it even as I picked up a fork from the table and stabbed out a bite of cake to eat.

“That’s a dangerous choice Ai-chan.” Despite the words sounding like a warning, it was spoken so softly and sweetly that I couldn’t help but to be unintimidated.   
“You’re not going to hurt me…” I muttered through a mouthful of cake. I knew what he was getting at, but I also knew well enough by now I wasn’t in a lot of danger around him. At least, I didn’t think so. “Not on purpose.” I added. “Sometimes the back of your shop can be such a mess though so I’ll probably trip and bust my ass in your shop at some point. I’ll blame you for that...better keep it cleaned up.”

“...that’s your job.” Uta said, a tiny twitch of his lip gave away a smirk.  
“Oh! Is it now? Have I been hired by HySy Art Studio? Mhhh! But I suppose I do owe you for letting me use your kitchen!” I stabbed my fork in the ghouls direction and nodded. “I’ll admit. You got me there.”

“I did want to come with you.” Uta answered, a smile returning to his eyes making them seem lighter. “I only wondered why you would ask me…since I can’t eat dinner with you, or enjoy this---!

“Hey!---” I cried out, snatching his wrist after he managed to get some whipped cream on his index finger and started to lift it to his nose and mouth. I narrowed my eyes at the ghoul who grinned back at me. “Do you normally go putting your fingers in other people’s food?” Not to mention he couldn’t even eat it! He opened his mouth like he was going to stick the bit of whipped cream into his mouth before I hissed quietly under my breath. “Uta, come on…” 

Mischief danced in his eyes and he turned his wrist, the offending digit held out for me daring me to do something about it.”Do you want this? Or should I---”

I tugged on his wrist, pulling his hand closer to stop him from trying to eat it again. I stuck my tongue out and licked the sweet coated digit pulling the frosting from it. For a split moment I enjoyed the look of surprise that crossed his face before it morphed back into a mischievous grin. “D-don’t do that again.” I muttered, letting go of his wrist and sitting back in my seat, unable to look at the ghoul in the eyes. “I was just curious!~” Uta’s voice remained playful. “You don’t see me trying to eat your food out of curiosity!” I rebutted.

He laughed, loudly enough to bring at least one couple's attention briefly. “You could. I wouldn’t mind.” He was laughing again when I shot him a horrified stare; the red still hadn’t dissipated form my cheeks. I stabbed my fork back into my cake to take another big bite of it, hoping against hope that I’d be able to rein in my blush.

“I’ll make it up to you Ai-chan. Another date? How are we counting these? Is this the first date, or the third?” He counted off on his fingers, muttering to himself under his breath so quiet I couldn’t hear.  
“First.” I decided; relieved that he’d finally brought up that this was a date. A real date. I spoke softly as I finally got the nerve to look back up at the ghoul. “I suppose if you’d want to call this a date, officially...but I wouldn’t mind going out again…”

The ghoul tipped back his mug and emptied it of coffee. “Come’on. Wrap that cake back up. We can go talk someplace else.” He placed cash on the table and got up. “Got something to show you.”  
“Uta. I was going to pay for that, remember? And if it’s another view from the rooftops I---”  
“You can get the next coffees! And I’ll keep you warm. Come’on.” He held his hand open for me to take. He waited patiently while I wrapped my cake back up and held it in one arm; taking his offered hand with my other and entwining my fingers between his tattooed ones. He tugged me along out of the cafe. Behind us the woman thanked us for stopping by but it got lost in the sound of the crowd outside.

♥

“Uta…” I panted after he’d pulled me from the main drag into smaller alleyways and away from the bright lights. “Come on, slow down. I’m not...a ghoul. I can’t keep up." He stopped, turning back to watch me as I got my breath back. 

"You're lucky I didn't drop my cake!" I laughed and smiled. "So what's the plan dragging me away to here?" I looked down the alleyway and knew we'd made it quite far from public prying eyes because the loud murmur of the crowd had faded into the background.

"What do you think?” The ghoul chuckled, taking a step close and looming over me while I turned to stare up at him, frozen in place. He pulled out his mask and slipped it over his face; hiding his smile and eyes. “Can’t climb rooftops without our masks.” I paused but finally relented. “If I get sick you're personally feeding me soup until I get better!”

“Deal.”

I took my mask out of my bag and slid it securely over my face, waiting for Uta to kneel down as he usually did when he carried me. Instead he pulled me closer, ducked down and then lifted me up to carry me cradled in his arms. Princess style. For a split second I very nearly dropped my cake but saved it at the last minute. “Okay so now your arms are full what are you--” I was cut off, left blinking after seeing the red tendrils of Uta’s kagune sprout and slither out from his back. Not one or two, but four.

He braced us between the two buildings and climbed his way up using his Kagune until we had finally pulled ourselves up on the roof of a multistory building that served as either a shopping center or office buildings during the day. After clearing the top of the building a cold gust of wind ripped through my coat and clothes making me shiver violently in his arms. “Don’t worry, we won’t go too high. But we can see them better up here…”

“I-its s-still cold!” I whined and tried to snuggle closer to the ghoul's warmth. “Just a minute Ai-chan…” He coaxed, tucking me in closer to his chest and took off running and leaping back across the roofs towards a warm glow of holiday lights.

Once we got close, he stopped and bent down, letting me place my feet back on steady ground. “Here.” I looked over the edge of the roof and stared down off the two-hundred or more foot drop onto a grotto of brightly strung up trees. From above I could see the subtle patterns I’d missed from below. Despite the chill creeping into my bones I was impressed. “P-p-pret-t-ty.” I shivered out.

Beside me the ghoul slid down to seat himself on the rooftop, pulling off his mask and his coat as he did, laying it down in front of him. “W-what a-are you doing U-uta? You’ll freeze!” I questioned, raising an eyebrow at the ghoul now wearing just a long sleeved turtle neck on his top half. “I’m fine. Sit here.”  
I did as he asked, sliding down to sit on his coat that kept my ass from freezing solid to the ground. Behind me he sat down, moving his thighs on either side of me and leaning forward until his chest was pressed into my back. I was surprised when I spotted his kagune curl around me slowly. Cautiously. Inwardly I knew he was still being ‘gentle’ with me. A single word to tell him I was uncomfortable would likely have him put them away. I reached out, placing my hand against one; relishing in how they warmed up my hand on contact.. “Maybe it would be okay to go up high, if you're going to be my mobile space heater…”

He moved them closer around us to keep us both warm and I leaned into the grip of the tendrils; enjoying the warm from them vs the chill in the air. For a time, we were both content to sit in the quiet murmur of the city, enjoying the company.

“Itori is never going to let me live this down....” Uta said after a long while; his tone hush even though there wasn’t anybody around to overhear. “Oh?”  
“After I first brought you to the bar she teased me relentlessly.” He tucked his nose against my neck. “When she hears we went on a date I’m never going to hear the end of it…”

I laughed softly, shivering as his breath rushed out past my throat. “It doesn't bother you? Date with a human?” Lips opened and let out a harsh laugh on my neck. “That’s something I should ask.” I pursed my lips, my fingers curled gently into one of the divots in his Kagune. Gently I shouldered his head away from my neck enough that I could turn and look at his face. “I’m serious Uta. Does it bother you? You’ve said it before: I smell tasty to you. You and I both know that I am weak. You could...just go and find yourself a ghoul girlfriend…”

“...and you could find a human. Someone who doesn't think you smell like a delectable snack!~” As though emphasizing this point he laid his lips back against my throat and very lightly nipped at me using teeth. I flinched despite myself; not out of fear but at the unexpectedness of the action. He caused no damage as far as I could feel, simply pinching the flesh without breaking it. In all honestly I didn’t want ‘a human’ because “a human” wasn’t Uta.  
Ignoring all dangers, I’d grown far too attached.

“If you leave marks, you're going to have to be the one to explain them!” I warned him off, reaching to flick his nose as though that might swat him off. “Just think of what Itori would say about that!” The ghoul hummed softly, peering at my neck. “Too late...humans bruise easily.” He didn’t sound at all sorry about it as he said it though.

“Uta!” I cried out, a bit louder and slid my hand to the spot he’d nipped. “You can’t just---! My uniform doesn't cover that!”

“Guess they’ll see it then.” I opened my mouth to reply something sarcastic but calmed instantly when he laid his chin back down on my shoulder and exhaled a long sigh out into the chilly air. “It’s not too late...we could head back to watch movies?” He said, hope seeping from his tone of voice.  
“Yeah, that works…” I breathed, my fingers leaving my neck to go back to curling around the indents in his Kagune, following the markings on it with my fingers. I kept doing this until I felt him shiver. “Cold?” I instantly worried that we’d been sitting out here for too long especially with me sitting on his coat.  
“No. It’s just doing that is a bit...ticklish.” Uta supplied, flexing the tail of the kagune until it was out of reach from my roaming fingers and then disappeared in a haze of red particles that seem to disappear before my eyes. “Oh. I...sorry. I hadn’t realized…” I regretfully pulled my hands back so I could stuff them into pockets to retain some warmth.

“Let’s head back. I can’t be your space heater all night. I’ll get hungry…” The ghoul stood up first, helping to pull me to my feet after him and making sure I had my cake securely in my hands before leaping off the building.

♥

By the time we were back on our street, dropping off the cake at my home and picking up Bjorn the cake wasn’t quite shaped like quite the same but it hardly bothered me - the ride home made it worth having a slightly left leaning cake and squished frills. I was greeted by Bjorn happily bound out the door and spun around to greet not only myself, but Uta with a bark.

“See! It might have taken a while but now he’s used to you!” I laughed as the dog heedlessly bounded up and down the road to get some energy out. I owed him a long walk tomorrow after being cooped up most of the day.

“Let me grab something I can cook for dinner, alright? I think I might even have chicken...” The ghoul nodded, leaning against my door frame and peering into the room I called an apartment while he waited. I turned around with an armful of supplies announcing I was ready.  
He plucked the package of meat from my hands, freeing some arm space to more easily carry everything I was bringing over. “You could try cooking a bit of meat for me...if you’re up to it.”  
I pursed my lips when he brought this back up.“I don’t want to ruin it...what if you can’t eat it cooked? Then it’s a waste…” I admitted my concern to him. “Or if it hurts you?”  
“I’ll eat it anyway.” He answered simply, as though the notion of it hurting him had completely passed over his head.

“Uta! No. Yoshimura told me that eating the wrong thing could really hurt you!”  
“It’s still human...just cooked.”

I narrowed my eyes up at him as he unlocked his front door and let it swing open, ushering me inside. “If I do this for you, you won’t try and eat MY food again. Right?”  
A mischievous glint sparked in his eyes briefly before it was gone, and he shrugged his shoulders. “Sure.” ‘Sure’ was pretty far away from being a solemn vow, but at least it should stop him from doing that again for a while.

“...okay then. I’ll try to cook a piece.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uta really do be like: ( ˶˘ ³˘(⋆❛ ہ ❛⋆)!♡
> 
> Sorry no proper kiss yet. （*＾3＾）/～♡ I know. I really am evil.


	32. Chapter 32: Cooking for a Ghoul ♥

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moral of the story: Meat is Meat.

Chapter 32: Cooking for a ghoul ♥

My meal sat forgotten on the other end of the counter as I stared, dubious at a piece of meat Uta had picked out. It was a piece of dark red meat cut into...well...To be honest it just looked like an ordinary steak. “Uta...I said a small piece. This is a big piece.” To say that I was uneasy about this would be an understatement.  
“I’m hungry.” The ghoul explained, leaning against the counter watching me debate how on earth I was going to try to cook this. I’d gotten all the residue off the pan from my cooking since I didn’t want to taint his meat with the taste of human food and seasoning. When it came to actually cooking it though: There were a couple things to think about…  
I used butter to keep the chicken or steak from burning to the pan, but he couldn’t have that. It would make him sick - and/or just taste bad. So...maybe a combination of water, blood and fat would probably do…? Something that would melt when it was put on heat and keep it from drying out and turning black.

I don’t know how long I was staring at the hunk of human flesh considering not only how to do this, but how I’d ended up in this position of cooking human flesh! Still, unperturbed by my silent contemplation Uta stayed:waiting patiently.  
“Okay.” I can do this! I tried to mentally cheer myself on. “...c-can you get a small. SMALL! Piece of fat that we can melt, and a little bit of blood for the pan…” I watched as Uta turned, leaned down and started rifling through the fridge again for what I’d asked for. I got a little bit of water, dumping part of it into the heating pan and waited for the other ingredients.

The ghoul listened this time when I said small and dropped a whitish, flubbery material into the pan and poured a small drizzle of blood in after. “Enough?”  
“For now. Might have to add more in a bit. Just stand by in case.”

I did my best not to touch any of the meat or fleshy bits of his food. It already raised hair on the back of my neck doing this, I really didn’t need to be further concerned about the smell of a murdered---

“Ai-chan…?”  
I glanced up, wide eyed to see Uta watching me with concern. “You’ve been staring at the meat again. You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” He didn’t make it a half-step forward before I shook my head and held up my hands in front of me. “No! I will. I’m fine. Promise!”

Our date - cut short as it was - had been fun. I’d enjoyed myself and I really liked this ghoul…  
So I could suck it up and do this for him! I stirred the mixture of fat, blood and water in the heating pan until it started to melt down into what I could kind of describe as a butter like substance. Except that it was fleshy pink…

Regardless of its color the oily watery texture should work to keep the ‘steak’ from sticking or burning to the hot metal cooking pan. I picked up the steak between two forks and got it onto the pan and let out a sigh I hadn’t known I was holding in. It was in the pan and cooking slowly over the medium heat. Now all I had to do was not burn it! Easy!

After a few minutes I realized that touching the meat was hardly the worst part of all this. The worst part, the part I would come to hate was when the smell of the ‘steak’ started to fill the room. A sort of second hand guilt that weighed down on my lungs as I breathed in the sickly familiar scent -because I couldn’t deny it smelled like any other meat. It smelled good and even made my mouth water despite what it was. It was that realization that finally curled my stomach and made bile raise up into my throat.  
It reminded me of boar hunting and cooking it over an open campfire - which made this somehow so much worse…

“Uta...c-can you. Can you flip it.” I struggled to keep the bile down and all but shoved the spatula into his hands, suddenly unable to keep myself in the room. I retreated into the living room without giving the ghoul a glance. The smell was only slightly weaker in here, but it was enough that I could try and breathe. 

“Ai-chan?” I heard him ask, worry and confusion in his voice.  
“Just flip it on the other side. Scoop under it with the spatula and turn it over so the other side cooks…add some blood if it looks like the pan is dry.” I listened, and heard him flipping it, going through the fridge and adding blood and water to the mixture just as I told him.

I took a steadying breath and turned myself around to walk back into the kitchen. Uta was bent over the stove peering at the meat closely before his eyes flicked up to meet mine. “Alright?”  
I nodded, and forced a flimsy smile. “...Yeah I’ll be okay. Sorry. I didn’t mean to run off like that…” I returned to my spot watching over Uta’s food and gently took the spatula from his hands.

“Thank you.” I heard spoken softly in one ear, followed by a hand very gently set on a shoulder. “It still smells good. Like food...So I think I should be able to eat it.”  
Since I’d gone and cooked it for him I served it out on a plate, grabbing him a fork and knife. At least this way he might consider eating like a civilized person. “Here. I really hope you can eat it...I guess it would be pretty interesting compared to how you normally eat. You could even have that boxed up to eat on the go and nobody would question it.” 

I grabbed my now cool - bordering on cold - meal and brought it back out to the couch to try my best to enjoy it without acidic bile climbing it’s way back up my throat.

After all that to try and get it cooked, I couldn’t help but to stare at the ghoul as he cut a small piece, stuck a fork in it and shoved it into his mouth. I waited, almost expecting him to spit it out or something despite all my logical mind telling me it would be fine. It was afterall 100% human flesh, fat and blood. So there really shouldn’t have been anything stopping him from eating it.   
He stopped chewing after a few moments, continued, and looked at his plate. Now, his expressions were ones that were difficult at the best of times and the one on his face resembled surprise.

“Pleasantly surprised, or just surprised? Did it work…?”  
Awkwardly I sat in silence while the ghoul beside me decided if he liked it cooked or not. “I think I like it...it's very different though.”   
“I suppose it is…” Raising an eyebrow I took a bite of my own food. Raw vs Cooked. Food - and particularly meat did change it’s flavor a bit after you cooked it. I suppose since I’d been eating cooked food - as humans were normally want to do - it would be a shock to my taste buds to suddenly eat raw meat. He did start shoveling it more quickly into his mouth in a way that convinced me that he did in fact enjoy the meat like this. At least enough that it was a novelty. 

“I’m not sure I want to be cooking that all that often though…” I admitted, a small frown working it’s way onto my face. “But...everything you can do with food is pretty basic. So it shouldn’t be hard for you to learn if you wanted to. Afterall your fantastic at art. And food can be art right?!”

“Hum...you looked a bit pale while you were cooking. I thought you might faint…before you ran off.” Uta said, glancing up from what was left of his dinner - the meat rapidly disappearing.

“Yeah, sorry…” I apologized: Again.  
“Does it smell bad?” Uta asked, full of innocent curiosity that struck me just the wrong way. I could just lie. That would make this easy - but then he might be afraid to cook while I was around or go and apologize for it. “No. It’s fine Uta-kun…”  
“...Aika. You’re pretty easy to read. So I can tell that it bothered you but I can’t pinpoint exactly what about it is upsetting you.”

“That’s...well - I...” I hesitated - blanking when trying to come up with another way to say ‘I’m fine’ that wasn’t the same as the last couple times I’d said it. “...really...Uta. I’m fine. I just felt a bit guilty...”  
“Because you were cooking me food---and it's human?” He trailed off and glanced at his kitchen. “You don’t have to again.” The ghoul added, coming to the conclusion quickly that cooking for him had bothered me a great deal because it was human.  
“No.” I waved a single hand, as though I could use it to brush the idea from his mind. This was something I could - would - deal with and manage. Especially if I wanted to continue being around him - going on dates. But I also had to learn to just tell the truth so that he could understand. Misunderstandings would be out undoing if I let it.  
Honestly what was he going to do? Ridicule me for thinking it smelled like regular meat? He could - but to what end?

“It’s not that it’s human meat that bothered me Uta - I’ve watched you eat gory bits of flesh while knelt on your kitchen floor in front of your fridge.” Which was a bit gross, but somehow I couldn’t believe that no-one else who was human didn’t also do that. Albeit with human foods, like leftover pizza or something. It was messy but hardly the weirdest thing he could do. I was a bit relieved that as many times as I caught him tipping some form of gore into his mouth I was pretty sure he didn’t eat in bed. Small victories at least.  
“It smells good and I felt guilty for thinking that.”

I wasn’t sure what response I should have expected, but Uta holding out a little piece of meat that he still had left and offering it to me wasn’t one I’d have bet on. Instantly my hands were up to decline the offer! “Uta. No...thanks. I’m not a cannibal…”  
And he chuckled at my quick and solid ‘NO’ response. He didn’t insist and simply popped the piece into his mouth and therefore ended his meal. “I told you I wouldn’t mind sharing!~ Not like your cake.” I laughed despite myself and shook my head. “I’m glad you enjoy my moral dilemma.”

“It’s meat. Ai-chan!~ It’s going to smell like meat.” He gently prodded my cheek with that tip of his finger. “You or I would cook the same.” He stood up, taking my empty plate with his own. “I’ll get the dishes.” I was going to argue, but then again...he was probably offering to do that so I wouldn’t have to handle the dishes with human fats and oils still on them. A thought that I appreciated.

Despite myself, his “We’re all meat” idea struck me as morbidly amusing. 

♥

I snuggled myself up on the couch and settled in for what I expected to be the rest of the night at Uta’s. A nice movie and then...was I staying over? It was already getting late and after a movie it might push the time past midnight. I picked up the remote to look through movies. Idly I rubbed gently at the small bruise on my neck - it really was going to be difficult to cover up that mark. “Hey Uta! It’s your turn to pick out a movie. I’ve picked out the last few.”

The ghoul continued to clean the dishes and I listened to the water run, silently wondering if he hadn’t heard me at all, until he did finally reply. “Have you seen John Wick?”  
“Hum. Yeah I have. The first two at least. I haven't gotten the chance to watch the most recent one.” I answered, flipping around until I found the movie series. "

"Would you mind re-watching the second one with me?" The water turned off in the other room and the ghoul exited the kitchen while drying his hands. "Maybe continue with the third one after if you stay awake."

“Hey! What is that supposed to be suggesting?!” I pouted, but then flashed a quick smile.   
Unimpeded, the ghoul moved past the couch and headed towards the bathroom. “Just that you might get tired.” I rose up on my knees and leaned to watch as the ghoul stepped into the bathroom and began to brush at his teeth. “You fall asleep here pretty often. Even before you really knew me.” True.

If there was a chance I’d fall asleep in the middle of the movie - because he wasn’t wrong about me falling asleep - then I should also brush my teeth. “Hey Uta-kun? My toothbrush is still there, yeah?” He looked at me from the corner of his eyes and nodded his head; mouth too full of bubbling foam to reply. 

I laid back onto the couch while I waited so I could take my own turn. Soon enough the ghoul was lifting up my legs to slip into his spot on the couch. I hopped up immediately after he sat down, leaving my place to head to the bathroom. “Be right back! I pulled up the movie on the screen for us!”

When I returned I hesitated seeing as my seat had disappeared. ‘My seat’ was being taken over by Uta who had decided to take up 90% of the couch. His eyes turned upwards and away from the screen to watch me - and likely my reaction- as I realized what he’d done while I was away. “Don’t make me sit on you!”

“You’re not heavy.” He said. No matter how nonchalantly he was about this I had this sneaking suspicion that he found this particularly funny. I took a few split seconds to access the situation and then made my decision. It was awkward and truthfully I had no idea how I was planning on making this comfortable but I climbed onto the couch and by some percent - the ghoul himself. “If I’m not heavy, then you shouldn’t mind. If...I...Sit. Here!~” I finally ended up, a little uncomfortably laying/sitting on the ghouls legs.

He chuckled, grimaced a bit and then began to move; the limbs under me jolting me almost back off from my new perch before I was pulled close again. “You could. But that’s not very comfortable.” In the end - he maneuvered us so I was lying much more comfortably with my back once again against his chest. One arm was looped around my waist while the other was preoccupied by playing with my hair after he clicked play the first movie.

“Comfortable?”

Instead of replying with words I simply let out a satisfied hum and melted into touch. As I’d said; I’d already seen this movie so my eyes wandered from the screen to study the arm looped around my waist. Gently I let my fingers trace over the tattoos along his forearms and crept along the back of his hands.

I wondered, not for the first time, what these meant to him since he’d gone through the trouble of inking his skin even though it meant needing special needles.  
♥

I yawned as the first of the night's movies came to an end. I was guilty of dozing off a little during the movie but woke up suddenly when the ghoul shifted his body under me. “Ai-chan, you were drooling.” I immediately sat up to wipe my mouth with a sleeve, but found that there was nothing of the sort staining my face or his shirt for that matter. The ghoul laughed as he watched my panic and I realized too late that it was simply a joke.   
"I was not!"   
The ghoul chuckled before shifting his body around to give me a bit of the couch to myself once again. "Think you'll survive through another movie?" His head turned to examine a clock on the wall.   
Tired as I was, I could and would at least attempt to watch another movie. Tomorrow I didn't have plans until later at night with the bosses party at the cafe and Uta didn’t seem to be in a hurry to kick me out of his place. He never really ever had been for that matter. If anything he’d be encouraging me to stay...

"I can stay up!” I insisted, but I took a look at my dog who lay comfortably by the heater once again. “I need to take a little intermission to bring Bjorn out though." At the mention of his name the big dog raised his head and his tail began to give the ground a solid thumping. “I’ll walk you out.”  
I only shot him a curious look, questioning the offer to take me out with a ‘bodyguard’. “It’s late and those who might have been hunting in the 3rd ward likely are searching in other areas because of those doves - regardless of territory…” The ghoul expression held a frown. The idea of other ghouls coming into this territory didn’t seem to sit well with him. He stood up and picked up his coat, pulled it on and then handed me my own. “And I have no plans to let another ghoul eat you.”

I hopped up while putting on my coat and went over to the door to slip on my shoes, call for Bjorn and hook him up with his leash. I wasn’t sure exactly how to take his comment about not letting another ghoul eat me. Was that meant to be protective? Or Possessive? Could be both, I supposed. Eitherway - it got me a ghoul escort and relative safety.

Uta followed me closely as I let Bjron out the front shop door and allowed him to bound around in the sidestreet to his merry delight. I walked, following the pup until he seemed happy enough to turn around on his own and head back to our comfy little movie night. He lifted his paws off the ground one at a time, indicating that his paws were starting to feel the sting of the frozen ground. Uta for his part stayed close to my side and seemed to be keeping an eye on things around us.

We made a loop, rounding back around to the street both Uta and myself lived on and Bjron went right for the shop door, sitting and waiting for us to catch up so we could warm up.  
We weren’t far behind when the dog turned, and stared down the other side of the street and stopped wagging. Beside me a hand wrapped around my upper arm to stop me from walking further forward. I turned to stare at the offending tattooed hand and then quickly up at the ghoul it belonged to. His eyes were fixed on a point out of my sight, just as Bjorn’s was.

I swallowed my complaint and waited for him to stay something, or give me a direction. The hand pulled me closer to his side and then ushered me to walk more quickly with him towards his studio door. When we were only a few feet he pushed me firmly enough to almost send me stumbling towards safety. “Go inside. Lock the door behind you...” I grabbed Bjron’s collar and tugged him inside with me, pausing a moment to keep peeking out of the crack in the door. Uta turned his head a bit, looking at me from his shoulder and simply told me: “I’ll be back.”

The door clicked shut, and despite wanting to keep peeking out to get a view of what was going on I locked it up as he told me too.

I sat myself in Uta’s work chair, petting Bjron’s face until even he had enough attention. After the dog retreated away to lay down I alternated between either spinning in circles or looked over Uta’s work he had on his desk. On one sketch I spotted it looked like he had some idea of what to do with the big cat skull I’d given him.

Bjorn stood and stared quietly at the front door a while later, alerting me as the doorknob tried to turn and stopped short. Locked. I shot up from the chair stared along with my dog with my heart and breath caught in my throat. It could be Uta - but then it could also be anybody else.

I heard the doorknob attempt to twist once again, muffled voices and then a thump that made the door shake. Followed by a horrifying scream silence prematurely before it’s end. I listened carefully after that, still not trusting myself to breath and heard the tell tale jingle of keys and the lock slid free. 

I let loose my breath captured in my lungs when in the doorway was my ghoul. Safe and sound and with no immediately visible wounds. “...Uta...that scared the living daylights out of me.”

The ghoul slid his keys back into a pocket and stepped inside; his eyes briefly flickered away to look something outside the doorway. “I’m okay Ai-chan.” Skeptical, I took a few steps closer and gave him a thorough look over. He stopped me when I started to inch closer to the door and tried to peek at what was there. “What exactly did you---?”

“Ai-chan.” He said my name gently, but there was a hint of warning in it at the same time.  
He took a moment and then stated just as calmly: “...there’s a dead ghoul out there.”  
I stood with half gaping at the man and glancing at the slightly ajar door. Bjorn still stared past us, sniffing and growling low in his throat. “...I...Should I go home then?”

“No.” He said immediately and then seemed to realize that he spoke both two harshly and too quickly. “You don’t have to. You're safer here Ai-chan…” Though, even as he said that his eyes glanced out the door once again.

“Okay...but you can’t just leave a dead ghoul on your doorstep…” I said softly, following his gaze. Thankfully, the view of the corpse was obstructed from my angle. “...why exactly did you…?” I asked, leaving off midway through the sentence. “Territory...” His eyes lingered on my own as I thought about it. “Okay...so what are you going to do about...er...that outside? You can’t just leave it there. A CCG officer could see that. Or anybody could report it...”

“After you go upstairs hide out in my room and I’ll take care of it. Okay? It won’t take long but don’t come out. Go on, so I can bring them in and clean up the mess...”

I nodded, calling Bjorn with me as I went back up Uta’s steps and into his apartment. “Come on...Bjorn. This way.” I ushered the dog to come along with me, opening Uta’s room and slipped inside.

Not long after I shut us into the bedroom I could hear the ghoul moving about in the rooms outside his bedroom. I didn’t want to listen but I was morbidly caught doing so; hearing the shuffling, a few breaks and crunches...and then Uta turned on some music, louder than strictly necessary; mercifully saving me from the macabre noises emanating form the other rooms.

Restless and unable to simply lay down and rest while he was outside doing - that - I began to pace the room. Slowly but surely I found myself picking discarded clothing and throwing it into a mounting pile. “Uta you really need to do your laundry…” I said, more to myself than the ghoul outside. Next I pulled all the bed sheets up to make the bed, smoothing it out and placing the pillows neatly on top. 

Looking around that did a decent job to make the room look made again. The only other ‘messy’ area was the top of his wardrobe where he had a few cluttered masks, a bowl and mug and what looked like a pile of unopened mail.

♥

I startled at the sound of knuckles on wood and turned, seeing Uta’s face peeking into his own bedroom. “Ai-chan it’s okay for you to---” He peered around, spotting the difference in his bedroom immediately. Suddenly embarrassed as though I’d been caught snooping rather than cleaning I felt the heat rush to my face in a flood. “S-sorry! I just cleaned up a bit…”

“That’s fine. You didn’t need to clean for me here though…the deal was just the shop.” He smiled faintly. “It’s okay to come out. Unless you would rather go to sleep now…”  
“I’m not that tired actually.” I said, truthfully. The last hour had done a lot to wake me back up and I doubted I’d fall back to sleep so easily. “How about that other movie…?”

“Fine with me. John Wick 3?”

I nodded and followed the ghoul back out to the living room. Despite not wanting to see any blood or gore I still looked to see if he’d forgotten to clean anything but saw nary a speck anywhere. “Uta, can I ask what exactly you did with them?”

He sat himself down, man spreading and leaning back to take a very comfortable majority of the couch up. He didn’t answer right away until I sat myself down on the free portion of the couch and got comfortable. “Well they don’t taste good. But...generally for something like this it’s better not to let the meat go to waste.”  
“So...Cannibalism?” I asked, speaking softly and thinking back to my initial reaction to his joke the first time I’d come up to his apartment. He’d said back then I might see Cannibalism, but then said I probably wouldn’t. It’s not like he was going to be eating a whole ghoul in front of me. No, he probably cut them up just like the human and stored them in those neat little boxes.  
The male shrugged his shoulders. “Keeps me from needing to hunt a few extra weeks…”

He turned to look at me more closely, face blank. “Okay.” I said, forcing myself into softly smiling. I settled myself closer, leaning my head against him. “Hey, if they taste gross why do you bother eating them…?”

“Meat is meat…” Uta replied and then added. “I suppose I could have dumped them off in an alleyway. But that’s such a waste…does it bother you?”

Not exactly. Not in the way I expected he thought that it would. It made me feel sad more than terrified or disgusted. Just as it had when he had first told me about cannibalism among ghouls. Humans were their main food source - the fact that they did resort to eating their own kind was just as horrible as humans eating humans. I didn’t know if there was any circumstance where I’d resort to that.  
“No. Just curious…” I answered and relaxed as an arm descended around my waist to pull me close. “You sure?” I chewed the inside of my cheek and sighed softly. “I suppose I want to know why you couldn’t have just beat them up and sent them running, rather than killing them?”

The ghoul hummed, a sound that resonated deep in his chest. “I tried that. But when I went to tell them off they didn’t back down…” The hand at my waist gently curled, fingers drawing light lines across my hip and thigh. “And made some comments about the ‘tasty snack’ in my studio. So I couldn’t let them go..”

“Oh…” I spoke lamely.   
“Movie Ai-chan?”

Oh, right! I clicked the play button and tried to forget about the ghoul next to me murdering one of his kind. Eventually I did - paying more attention to the movie than my inner thoughts plaguing me.

♥

I know I got to the end of the movie because I distinctly remember seeing the credits rolling and saying “Ha, I told you so”. However after that point I only remembered shifting images of different tv shows and commercials. He must have put on a new show after the movie and I let myself relax and close my eyes. I knew I was drifting in and out, unable to follow the story with any accuracy. Soon after I felt myself being picked up and carried, Bjorn whining as the ghoul moved me. “I can walk Uta…” I muttered, slurring with sleepiness but snuggled my face into the crook of his neck anyway.

Placed into bed I curled up, cracking my eyelids to watch to see Uta about to leave. “Uta-kun…” I whispered, unsure what I was going to ask for exactly. I’d been stealing his bed a few times now - and he was turning to leave me once again to take over his bedroom. The silhouette stopped and turned its head to look at me. “...stay?” I muttered sleepily.

The ghoul’s silhouette didn’t move for a moment but then gradually I saw the shadow shift, stepping back into the room. “Are you sure?” Closing my eyes I drifted off to sleep oblivion with a hum of approval in my throat.

♥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I assure you I do not intend to have long pauses between chapters - nor did I intend not to answer comments. I just really didn't have the time to.  
> Normally I'd type part of this out on an overnight shift at work but because a part of machinery at work broke it actually made my job 100% harder to do - so no time to type.  
> Had to be done on my two off-days from work.
> 
> Anyway! This one also is a little shorter - but it felt like a good cut off point.   
> Next day is Cafe party!~ It won't be long before Ai-chan is practicing with Renji!


	33. Chapter 33: Cafe Party

Chapter 33: Cafe Party ♥

The waking world came back to me slowly as I enjoyed the comfort of a warm, soft bed. So very unlike a couch or futon. Too bad something like this would take up half my little apartment and leave so little room for anything else. Sluggish and reluctant to get up, I stretched out with a cat-like yawn. I froze on the spot when I lightly nudged agaist another warm body next to me. Dim light filtered through heavy curtains making me blink and narrow my eyes until I spotted the tell tale silhouetted hump of another human’s - or ghoul in this case- body. 

He was laying on his back as far as I could tell and seemed to be sleeping; breathing slow and rhythmically. Asleep then. I watched him for a few minutes, noting the relaxed muscles in his face. Admittedly with his eyes closed it was much less embarrassing to study his face in great detail. He looked so relaxed and peaceful like this...  
He was also as close to the edge of the bed as he could get without falling off. The ghoul may have done his best to take up most of the couch because he thought it was funny - but I’d somehow taken up 80% to 90% of the bed by spreading out like some kind of bed hogging starfish. That was not even mentioning how much of the blankets I’d tugged over myself. The only thing the ghoul had been spared seemed to be his own pillow. Perhaps that was only because it was propped up under his very head.

I sat up slowly; careful not to move too quickly and upset the ghouls' sleep. I removed some of the blankets that I’d curled around myself and tried my best to gently toss it over him to cover him up a little. After all, it was still winter. After being wrapped up the air outside of the cocoon of blankets chilled my skin immediately. It was no surprise that the ghoul had opted to rest without stripping out of his clothes; whether it be for warmth or modesty, who knew.

Waiting, watching and making sure that I didn’t wake him up I inched out of the bed and crept across the room to the door. Bjorn - noticing that I was up stood up and stared vigilantly up at me. I pressed my fingers to my lips and stared intently at the dog attempting to will him to stay quiet and not bark. With a glance at Uta I gently opened the bedroom door and allowed Bjorn free to bring him outside.

I didn’t get far - hearing Uta’s voice carry out of the room as I began to cross the threshold of the bedroom. So close from a clean ‘escape’; yet so far. “Morning Ai-chan. Sneaking off someplace?” My instinct had me freeze up before glancing behind myself, a sideways grin finding its way onto my face. He hadn’t moved; still laying just as he had been when I’d woken up but now a with one eye cracked a single red iris was fixed on me. “I see I’m not very sneaky at all. I was trying to get up without waking you. I’m sorry Uta-kun.” I nodded towards Bjorn who wiggled at me from down the hall. “I need to take Bjorn out, but you can go back to sleep. I’ll come back quick.”

A sleepy groan worked its way out of his throat and he finally rolled over, facing the doorway and propped himself up on an elbow. “Hum...what time is it?” I hesitated, not knowing the answer to the question and finally opted to shrug. “Early morning, if I had to guess. It’s getting light outside though. I won’t be gone long!” I smiled, and waved at him. “Go back to sleep.” 

I slipped out the door, down the hall and to where my shoes lay on the ground near the door. Bjorn waited for me patiently while I covered my feet and grabbed my coat. The dog ran past me when I opened the door headed to the first floor and I followed him out all the way into the light of the morning.

As promised I didn’t spend too long outside and both Bjorn and myself returned to the warmth of Uta’s home quickly - both of us glad for the protection from the cold outdoors. I peeked carefully into Uta’s room and saw that he had laid back down and resumed sleep. Or I thought so at least; I remained suspicious. At least he looked to have had closed his eyes and gone back to resting. I thought momentarily that perhaps I should stay out - go to the couch and lay down there instead to allow him to get a more peaceful and uninterrupted sleep. However my spot, the side where Uta did not lie was undoubtedly still warm and comfy from where I’d laid before.

Oblivious to my small hesitation and dilemma Bjorn nudged past me and pushed open the door further and into the room. He returned to his spot, spun around in a circle and laid right back down; perfectly content to snooze a while longer.

“...” I heard a small mutter and glanced back at the bed. Uta moved, rolling to lay on his stomach and tucking his arms under his pillow. “Come back to sleep Ai-chan…” His voice was still drowned in sleepiness and unbelievably soft spoken that I almost didn’t catch what he’d said. I was half convinced he was barely awake even as he spoke to me. With that final bit of coaxing I went to lay back down, curling under the blankets again and gathering them around me. A few less now that Uta was able to reclaim some for himself.

It was a bit harder to fall asleep now, but slowly but surely the warmth was like a siren's call. I found my thoughts becoming less and less consumed by my close proximity to the beds owner and more in the grips of a comfortable nap that would carry me into the mid-afternoon.

♥

I woke again later; coveting that comfortable warmth and wishing nothing more than to stay put. This time it was shifting weight across the bed that had brought me out of my slumber. I turned my body to face the other side where Uta had sat up with his back facing me. I groaned, alerting him that I’d woken back up and the man turned around. “You’re awake...Ai-chan. You remember what time Yoshimura’s party is at?”

I sluggishly pushed myself up until I sat cross legged on the soft surface, pulling the blankets up around me in an attempt to keep the warmth to myself. I shook my head. “ I don’t remember...at night. I think after six sometime.”  
“Sounds about right...I’ll ask Itori or Renji to make sure.” Uta said, standing and stretching his arms above his head. I cringed a bit at the sound of bones popping along his spine and shoulders. Bjorn sat his head up on the edge of the bed and stared up at me expectantly. It took me several long moments to remember that I had to feed him and it was already getting late. “Oh!” I exclaimed, jumping form the bed and shedding the layer of coverings. “I’ve gotta go home.”

The ghoul turned to me and cocked an eyebrow. “I almost forgot. This morning I should have gotten his food. And I’ve got to take a shower - decide what to wear.” As always I could only imagine how very much like Uta I would smell to other ghouls. The scent undeniably stuck to me. They might think---What exactly?  
We’d been on a date that we had finally both agreed was a date. I wasn’t stupid enough to think that Itori didn’t already know that I stayed over here quite a bit. The ghouls at the cafe probably had the same idea even if they hadn’t voiced it. They all might not know I slept in his bed but regardless it was almost certain they’d think we were a couple. Could I even tell them they were wrong at this point?

I saw the ghoul nod his head vaguely. “Yeah, probably should.”  
“Hey Uta?” I asked, following him out into the living area of his home. The ghoul was already headed towards his kitchen presumably to make a coffee and grab a bite for breakfast. “Hum?”  
The gentle hum from the ghoul was all the reply I needed to continue. “I had fun last night so....”

Uta disappeared from view until I followed far enough to peek into the kitchen. He was leaned against the counter, reaching up and shuffling through a cabinet for his coffee supplies. From here I could see him pause briefly when he picked up the little jar for sugar in his cabinet, studying it and placing it back down gently. “So….” I lingered on the word; hesitant to move forward. 

“Do you want to plan another date?” Uta asked, beating me to the punchline before I could get it to come out. Uta didn’t pause even for a moment as he continued to rummage until he found his coffee, finally grabbing the little paper filters and the bag of grounds. He took a moment to glance at me. There was a small frown etched across his face. “Are you sure about that?” I frowned, seeing a bit of unexpected resistance from the ghoul. So far, whenever I’d suggested we go some place he’d agreed and always seemed fairly enthusiastic about it. Plus he’d been the one to initiate the first ‘surprise’ climb up a building so I was earnestly confused. “Sure about what exactly?”

“Dating a ghoul. Nobody would blame you for reconsidering.” He placed the grounds into the top of the machine and shut it before punching the button to start it up. Oh. Oh! I recognized this. I remembered the last time he’d acted something like this. He had seen how I dealt with him having to hunt, or when he told me about being in the gang of ghouls called the ‘Clowns.’

“There’s nothing to reconsider. At least not on my part.” I insisted and knew that I sincerely meant it. The ghoul looked up and cocked his head curiously and held my gaze. “It’s not impossible is it? Kimi and Nishio…” I trailed off, not entirely sure I wanted to compare Uta and myself to another couple but they were proof that it could work out between humans and ghouls! “I asked last night if it bothered you to be on a date with a human.” He hadn’t exactly answered that, instead he’d placed a purple and blue hickey on my neck. My fingers rose up to touch the slightly sore mark while turning my gaze away from him and frowned down at the floor. “---It’s okay if you’ve reconsidered though. If you decided you'd rather not date a human...”

“No. I’m fine with it.” My eyes shot up quickly to find the ghoul had moved in front of me, his fingers raised to brush my neck gently. “So fragile...I didn’t think I bit that hard. Does it bother you?"

“Oh no. It’s--- a little sore, but it’s nothing. It’s not like you broke the skin. Is it really dark?” I was suddenly worried that it would be a bit harder to hide the mark under make up if it was very dark or very large. “Hum. A little.” Despite my worries about not being able to hide it, the ghoul seemed to be happy and almost a bit satisfied when he laid eyes on the mark on my neck. I was already imagining the looks I’d be getting from Itori let alone anybody else. Even before setting foot in the cafe or Helter Skelter I could imagine a few things they might think; a faint blush dusted across my cheeks as a result.

“First I show up to work smelling like you and now I have to go with bite marks on my neck. What are they going to think…?!” I muttered, half expecting no response.

The ghoul smirked, brushing his fingertips across the mark once more before his coffee finished draining into the pot and clicked off. “People have been leaving you alone though, right?” He asked, taking a step away to retrieve his morning caffeine. “Well yeah...mostly.” While Uta poured out a cup for himself I considered carefully how people acted around me. Humans had been the ones to give me any memorable trouble since I’d started hanging out with Uta, not the ghouls. There was the small exception of Roma and a cold shoulder from Touka; But considering the scum I’d grown used to in my old job I’d gotten used to it and even those behaviors paled in comparison. Plus, the attack on the cafe hadn’t been because I was there - just an unfortunate event.  
Overall, the cafe had been wonderful and I accounted for the nice behavior of the customers to the cafe’s environment rather than Uta’s presence in my life. “I haven't had any issues with other ghouls so far, if that’s what you're wondering.”

“Good…”

I was about to turn towards the door to leave when it struck me that Uta had strayed away from my original question. Instead he’d looped it around to ‘is anybody bothering you’ and tried to drop the subject. Crossing my arms I shot him a stern expression. “Uta...you avoided the question.”

He looked over his coffee levelly and blinked innocently as I tried my best to stare down the ghoul. I couldn’t let him squirm away again! “Did I?”

“I asked if you wanted to go on another date.”

The ghoul leaned down, opened his fridge and grabbed out an eyeball. He spent some time licking it and rolling it over his tongue before popping it into his mouth and crushing it. “Okay. I pick…?” 

I nodded my head, relaxing the stern expression and waited for him to elaborate. “That tattoo I’ve been drawing for you is almost done and I got my hands on a machine.” I grinned immediately and let out a small cheer. In his eyes I saw both a hopeful gleam and amusement.  
“Of course! I already said I’d love that! Have you been working on it between masks!? I figured that you’d have your hands full with orders.” He nodded and took a sip of coffee. “I've been keeping busy, but I didn’t forget about it.” I noted how he cupped the mug in both hands and fidgeted with the handle; so subtle that I almost didn’t notice. “I hope you like it. I’ll let you see it before it’s put on just in case.”

“No! That’s okay! It can be a surprise!” My grin spread as I watched his eyes widen a bit. Uta liked surprising people, and I trusted him. The design would be amazing. “I’m sure I’ll love it! If you'd like I’ll let you put in a second set of earrings too while you're at it.” I fiddled with the current set punched through my lobes and smiled. They were healed up nicely and no longer itched at all. A perfect time to add another set if there was one!

“I’d be more than happy too.” 

♥

I left Uta’s with a wide grin on my face and Bjorn at my heel. “Come on Bear-Bear. Time to get you breakfast!” I almost didn’t notice Ms. Kirin and ran right into her, barely saving myself from the collision. Remembering my last encounter with her I began stuttering out an apology immediately. The old woman turned to look at me square in the face and I saw her eyes widen a bit when she recognized me fully. The old woman took a few hurried steps away, putting distance between us and getting out of my way without a word. I watched in confusion as the old ghoul retreated back into her home and out of sight.

I was left blinking, mouth slightly ajar and confused. I peered down at Bjorn. “What on earth was that about…?” I asked the dog and continued to reflect on the weird behavior even as I proceeded to get myself around for the evening. It was a hopeless endeavor to get every bit of Uta's scent off me; but I still ran the hottest water over my skin and scrubbed until I was sure I'd taken off another layer of skin. If I was right about how he acted then the ghoul would likely pull me close as soon as he could get away with it and the scent would be back to clinging to me.  
Back to square one.

A vibration of my phone on the sink counter top interrupted my thoughts while I'd been staring into the mirror and brushing my fingers across the bite mark on my neck. If he’d bit a little further down I could have hidden it easier under a shirt. I plucked up the phone and slid the lock free to read the new text message.

Uta: Renji-Kun is picking us up to go to the party. Come back over when you're done.

No subway trip on the holiday night - that would be nice!

Aika: Really? That’s so nice! Is Itori coming too?  
Uta: Yeah, should be.  
Aika: I’ll be over in another 20.

I placed down the phone and went back to looking at the mark on my neck. “Well we’ve got to hide this or I’ll never ever hear the end of Itori’s comments.” Bjorn let out a small docile bark by my side as he watched me get around. Lightly I tapped skin colored cover-up over the mark and blended until it would be hidden from prying eyes. If I looked really hard it was still there - but at least it wasn’t quite as obvious. “Good enough. Right?” I patted Bjorn's snout and put down the makeup.

I didn’t wrap myself up into a dress again like I had for my date with Uta; opting for a nicer set of dressy pants and blouse instead. I did a spin in front of the mirror, double checked nothing was caught in my teeth after brushing and finished final details. 

“Okay! Party time!~ I just know that Hinami will be happy to see you Bear-Bear!” I scratched his head, paying attention particularly behind his ears until one of his back legs shook. “Gotta be a good boy tonight, alright?”

I clicked on his leash and made sure to lock up before heading back towards Uta’s place. I knocked a few times and then let myself into the shop door; closing it quickly behind me to keep in the heat. “It’s chilly out!” I said to the ghoul who sat hunched over his work. He closed the drawing pad as soon as I entered and looked up. “By the way Uta. Have you seen Ms. Kirin since you scared her off...she was acting weird today…”

“Weird?” I took off my coat and held it in my lap for later when we’d meet up with Renji for our ride over to the 20th ward. Uta sat up straight, a slight frown etched onto his face. I held up my hands because I remembered the event from the night before and the last thing I wanted was to have him marching off to go and hurt or threaten her again. “Nothing bad! But yeah. Weird. I almost bumped into her in an accident and she…well she pretty much bolted. Didn’t say a word just ran off back to her house.”

Uta’s expression relaxed and he actually smiled as he went back to looking over his desk, hand held lightly over the top of his sketch pad. “Oh I see. That’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

“...did I do something wrong?” Uta shook his head gently, still smiling. “No. Nothing like that. She just knows to leave you be. Don’t worry too much about her.”

The words: ‘She knows to leave you be’ rung in my head like an old vibration. Right along with the old statements from various ghouls that I ‘belonged’ to Uta. “I hadn’t seen her in quite some time. Even though she’s only just across the street. Did she acted like that because of the last time you told her off?”

“Of course...it’s my territory.”  
There was a knock on the door, followed by it’s squeaking open. I turned, looking at the silver haired ghoul in his heavy jacket. “Hey, are you two ready? The car is waiting around the corner.”

“Hey Renji-kun!” I raised a hand and waved, happy to see the grumpy man. “Hey Aika.”  
“You guys are going to make us late.” I looked at a clock on my phone quickly and frowned. Had I been wrong? “Wasn’t it supposed to be around six?”

“Five. The kids have to get home safe and get sleep. Tokua’s still studying over the break. They’ll head home after a little while. Itori’s already packed some blood wine for-” He paused, remembering that I was human and couldn’t drink that particular beverage with them. “We can pick up something for you on the way if you want.”

“No!” I said, raising a hand and smiling. “It’s fine. We’re already going to be a bit late. I don’t need alcohol. I’m sure the Boss won’t mind if I get a cup of coffee while we’re there.” I reached over and gently nudged Uta. “I’ll make sure this one can walk after! I can be the designated driver if need be. I don’t mind. I wouldn't want a hangover for work tomorrow either.”

I yanked on my coat and made sure Bjron was leashed before glancing at Uta who grabbed a little paper bag from under his desk and walked to the door, locking it and letting me out first into the cold. “Renji, is it okay that Bjorn’s coming along?”

“Yeah, that’s fine." He leaned down to look into the back seat of the old car and added: "You might be squished in the back though.”  
True to his word Bjron happily jumped into the car and sat down on one side but it left very little room for Uta and myself in the back. Itori grinned at me from the front seat taking interest in our little problem. Uta took a seat and then coaxed me to sit in his lap. “This is hardly the legal way to ride in the car! The seat belts are suppose to---”  
Arms crossed around my middle and held me firmly. “There. Safe and sound.” I blushed, blood rushing through my face inches away from his grinning mouth.  
“You too okay back there!? You look cozy Ai-chan!~” The redhead giggled, watching us in the rear-view mirror.

And so it began!

Defiant of her teasing I leaned into the grip, resting my hands gently on Uta’s thighs and relaxed. I was simultaneously embarrassed and satisfied with how quickly Uta welcomed it by pulling us closer until my back was flat against his chest. “I’m pretty comfy here, yeah. You good Uta-kun?”

“I’m good.” Uta said smoothly from behind my left ear. From my spot I could see Itori’s face and her eyes as we took in our positions. A knowing grin sprung up onto her face and she finally turned around to face out the front of the car. Only once or twice did I catch Renji’s eyes look up into the mirror to look at the back seat of his ‘borrowed’ car. 

Apart from just having to fit into the small old car the ride did have the benefit of being very warm.

♥

When we arrived in front of the cafe I stared out the window with a blossoming delight in my chest. “Oh look! Mr. Yoshimura decorated it! It’s so pretty!” I gasped staring wide eyed at the lights tastefully draping the entrance and windows. The lights inside gave off a warm and lively glow that reminded me of every single good holiday season I ever had. When the car came to a halt I pulled myself from Uta’s arms and stepped out of the vehicle.

The door to the cafe opened with a merry jingle and I spotted Touka standing in the doorway to greet us. “Hey! Uta-san, you came! Hey Yomo, Itori!” She paused seeing me, not calling out like she did with Uta and the others, but after a moment she raised a hand to wave. “Come in already! The warmth is getting out.” I laughed, recognizing her demanding tone of voice. Personally after hearing it so often not only aimed at myself but at Ken as well, I liked to think that she acted like that because she actually cared.

I waited for Uta to step out of the car and called Bjorn out behind him. When the door opened and we walked into the happy glow of the cafe we were greeted with a small cheer by the other members of the cafe staff.  
Hinami happily ran up and greeted Uta first. Meanwhile I let Bjorn find a happy place and went straight to the bar to find a free seat. The manager was by himself behind the bar while Irimi and Koma were on the customer side already drinking deep from a pair of coffee cups.

"Sir, the cafe looks really beautiful!"  
"Thank you dear. I think I'll leave them up for the rest of the week. They are quite the cheery addition." The old man smiled peacefully, looking around at all the people who responded to his invitation. Notably there was one cafe employee that had not showed up.

I searched in vain for a minute, spotting Nishiro and Kimi seated in a table isolated in a corner but realizing that the ghoul who I was looking for wasn’t here. “Roma didn’t come?” The manager raised his eyebrows ever so slightly before slowly shaking his head. “It does not appear as if she will.”

I didn’t like her all that much. As always I felt bad for thinking poorly of her - but I wasn’t very disappointed by her absence. All it took to feel better about my less than kind thoughts was remembering how the small ghoul repeatedly smashed the dishes - acting as though she was clumsy and accident prone. The fact that she wasn’t here probably saved Mr. Yoshimura at least a couple mugs anyway.  
“Oh well…” I said, trying my best not to sound pleased. “Hey Uta! Over here!” I patted the seat next to me and smiled broadly to invite him over. Renji took the stool on my other side and Itori took the place on the other side of Renji. The little ghoul Hinami had gone from happily greeting Uta and the others to racing around to play with Bjorn. On her head there was now a cute little yellow bird mask that matched her own pet bird. It was a mask in which I was pretty familiar with. Those little yellow feathers still littered the corners of Uta’s shop.

Uta moved and sat down in the open seat that I’d patted, shooting me a small smile before leaning his back against the counter and looking around the cafe for himself. 

“Heeeey!” I heard the cheerful voice of Itori, who held up a dark bottle and then set it down on the counter top. “I brought some good stuff!” I chuckled softly, spotting the old man's quick glance and subtle head shake when he saw the ghoul alcohol set upon his counter. I raised my hand and smiled. “Well none for me.” I joked softly, adding: “I’d love a cup of coffee though Mr. Yoshimura!”

I watched as the older gentleman worked diligently to make a cup of coffee for me, adding something quickly at the end and dropping a stick of cinnamon in. I looked at it curiously and took a sip to see if I could taste the difference. “Vanilla and cinnamon?” I asked, already knowing I must be right. “It’s delicious! You should definitely offer this as a holiday special!”

“I was experimenting, but I wasn’t sure since I couldn’t taste it.”

“Oh! Well I’d be happy to be a test subject if you're making different flavors of coffee! Anytime!~”  
The ghouls next to me each got their own cup of Itori’s bottled blood wine and started to sip it while I enjoyed the holiday coffee.

“Soooooooo?” Itori leaned out from around Renji and fixed myself and Uta with a grin. She looked like a sly fox in that moment honestly. “What’s the story you two!?”  
Renji let out a huff of air and shook his head. “Leave them be Itori…” I smiled, thankful for the support from him.  
“Come on! Ren-kun! Aren't you curious!?” Renji took a gulp off the top of his drink, shaking his head a little bit but not speaking up again. “You too were really close when you visited the bar! Sooooo!? Come on! Spill!”

I couldn’t help it as my face burned hot and flushed bright pink. To hide my face I stuffed it back into the mug of coffee and took a huge swallow of the bitter sweet liquid. From the corner of my eyes I could see Uta’s expression; calmly fixated on Itori. “We went on a date.” 

I almost spat my coffee back out, briefly feeling like I might choke. Damn. Uta spilled information to Itori so easily! Only a few moments later I heard the squeal of an adult woman as she cheered for us. “Finally!--wait on Christmas Eve? That’s so cute! You've got to spill all the details!”

All the commotion got the attention of the other ghouls in the cafe and within thirty seconds I had several ‘congrats’ and smiling faces from all around. I tucked my head down to the counter - embarrassed at the out pour of support. From under my arm I could see that even Touka - the most hesitant to accept my presence was smiling. 

♥

Touka left after the sun had completely set. Hinami went along with Touka so that the older girl could get back to study. That left the adults - Nishki & his girlfriend Kimi, Irimi, Koma, Uta, Itori and Renji all remained along with myself. Happily chatting and drinking whether it be alcohol or coffee.

My joy was cut short though, hearing a knock on the door followed by a familiar figure in a fancy suit. "Shuu?"

"You're late Mr. Tsukiyama. The party started hours ago." The disapproval in Mr. Yoshimura's voice spoke volumes. But it also answered why the man was even here.  
He'd been invited to come - so he was not a party crasher at least. I winced back and began curling towards Uta defensively when his eyes fell on me. "Ah! Ma Princesse! It's been a while. How have you been?”

Next to me, Uta stared blankly at the flamboyant French speaking man and grumbled. "You invited him?"  
"How rude! If I remember correctly we worked together fabulously when we went to rescue poor sweet Kaneki! Why not let the old issues drop? After all I am Aika's old friend---"

I coughed out a sharp, bitter laugh. After what he had done he thought we were still friends? Like we had been before? I cared about him enough that I didn't want him dead. Uta had been told as much already, but the trust I had given him all these years was broken. That trust was most likely irreparably damaged.

“I’m not going to hurt my pet!~”

“She’s not yours. I thought I’d made that clear the last time we had a little chat.” The words were ground out from the tattooed ghoul next to me, nearly growling. “I see we can’t let bygones be bygones!”  
I glanced around, seeing that I wasn’t the only one upset to see the Gourmet. Kimi was leaning into Nishiki’s chest, for support and comfort. Nishiki had been mauled by the other man if what I'd been told before was right.  
All in all - there wasn’t much love lost in the room between all the ghouls.

“Gentlemen, please do not start a fight in my cafe.” A stern voice filled the room and I turned to spot Yoshimura standing tall, staring over the counter with red and black kakugan showing clearly. “Have a seat at the table Tsukiyama, I will bring you a cup of coffee in a moment.” The old man’s eyes closed again, hiding his kakugan and began to work on the promised coffee.

As the minutes passed I felt the tense atmosphere close around the cafe. Silence fell over the cafe’s previously jolly mood. Finally Nishiki stood up and brought Kimi with him. “Well this has been a blast…but I think that we’ll be heading home.”

“Have fun you crazy kids!” Itori smiled, waved and laughed. Showing the first bit of joy in the room since Tsukiyama had entered it. “Yeah, yeah…” The man hurried his girlfriend out the door. “See you at work tomorrow Aika.” 

“Yeah…” I said, a little too late as the front door slammed shut. The couple nearly fled from the tense atmosphere.

I tried not to pay attention to Tsukiyama even though I could practically feel him leering at the back of my head. Looking at Itori’s smirking face was preferable to the alternative. “You can’t avoid me forever! Come on! How was your date?”

“Okay…” I muttered, not sure how much I really felt like sharing with Itori. Especially with Uta sat right next to me and the leering man behind us overhearing everything. “Just Okay?” The woman looked aghast until I held up my hands, unable to resist a smile. “More than okay! I had fun! It was fun! And Uta bought me an entire Christmas cake.”

“---and she cooked food for me when we got home.”

“I knew you two would hit it off with the way you kept asking about-- wait did you just say she cooked food for you?” Itori gasped, looking between myself and Uta for confirmation. Uta and I nodded. “It tasted...different but good.”

I appreciated the contrast between Itori’s and Renji’s expressions. Itori looked shocked it was possible - while Renji’s expression read as surprise that I’d even been willing to do it. 

“I said I’d cook a small piece and Uta here pulls out a huge hunk--”  
“I was hungry.” Uta interrupted. “---I was glad that he did end up liking it though…” I continued as though he hadn’t said a word.  
“Oh!~ So that’s all? So care to explain the mark on your neck?” 

I blinked, frozen solid in shock. Especially when the lady ghoul stood up,stepped around Renji and swiped a wet towel over my neck and shoulder - smirking all the while. “Ah-Ha!!!~” The woman cheered, pulling away the towel with flesh colored makeup smeared across it. “There! I thought I spied a mark! That sure looks like teeth U-kun!”

I turned while still shocked from Itori’s bold move. I’d heard a noise behind us; Tsukiyama’s low snarl in the back of his throat. I now stared across the cafe at a livid ghoul; his eyes already turned to a ghoulish red and black. He looked about ready to be completely consumed by a violent anger as he snarled out his words. “She’s not mine you say, YET here you are! Marking her up like she’s your property! She was my pet first!”

Itori’s joy of her discovery fell silent again and the manager stood tall and silent behind the counter. Uta’s face stayed placid and calm but he had turned to stare at my old friend. “Well? Is she yours then?” Tsukiyama turned to me even though I sat frozen solid, unable to utter a word, especially seeing those eyes staring straight at me. 

He stood up, pulling himself up to his full height that towered over myself especially while seated. Beside me Uta put down his glass and stood up to move in between us. I thawed enough to reach out and wrap my fingers into the sleeve of Uta’s coat. “Don’t fight, please…” I whispered softly; horse with worry.

Uta’s other hand reached to gently pull my fingers from his jacket and I let go. Uta turned towards Shuu and stared blankly at the other man, anger hidden if he had any. “She’s mine as I told you. But that doesn't concern you. She’s not yours and you won’t be touching her any time soon." It didn’t bring me joy to see them so close to a fight, but there was little that I could do to stop it if it came down to it. “Uta please…” I whispered gently.

It looked as though the two men might lunge at each other when a louder, deeper voice rang through the room once again. “There will be no fighting here. I forbid it.” I turned again to see Yoshimura staring across his countertop at the two hostile ghouls. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw Irimi and Koma leaned back away from him as though he was emitting an aura of intimidation. Renji and Itori both had their eyes on Uta and Shuu.  
“All of us have had a very long month, this is a holiday. Sit down and enjoy a cup of coffee.”

Tsukiyama glared but seemed to have found himself again; glancing from Uta who stood on guard and the older gentleman who owned the establishment and then finally at the other ghouls in the room. They would all be against him and I’d already seen him back down from a fight in the street before. I watched as his eyes went back to normal and he brushed off invisible dust from his jacket. “A fight? Preposterous. I wouldn’t dream of it.” His glare turned to myself, fixing his gaze just below my chin on my exposed neck and the mark there. The look on his face turned sour like someone smelling spoiled milk and turned away to walk back out the door into the evening.

♥

The room was silent for quite some time after Shuu had left the building and most likely the ward itself. I reached and tugged on Uta’s sleeve to get him to return to his seat. The conversation about the mark on my neck wasn’t brought up again for some time though I did see Itori mouth an apology at me after a while. Gradually the aggressive energy seemed to seep out of Uta until I finally tried to break the ice again.

“Hey guys! Lets get some group pictures!” I held up my phone, forcing myself to grin a little. Itori seemed all for it but I could see Renji was thinking about ways to wiggle out of it. “Ren-ji-Kun!~ Come on! Irimi and Koma too!” I turned to the manager and added. “We should get a staff photo tomorrow and we could put it up, couldn’t we?”

Koma grinned and laughed, saying the first thing since the Shuu incident. “There’s an old photo from a few years ago. When Renji used to work here. Touka was only starting school back then...now she’s off to university.” He nodded, agreeing to my idea. “We should get an updated version boss.”

I happily began snapping pictures on my phone: Renji with Itori and Uta. Then everyone. Followed by many individual photos of everyone. Including a cheerful looking one of Yoshimura holding his own mug of steaming coffee. Finally I pulled Uta closer and grinned. “Smile Uta!~”

Surprised by the first flash I caught his face, wide-eyed like a doe in the road. Laughing I showed it to him. “I think that needs a redo?” Little did he know, I was going to use that expression for his ID photo in my phone. The second time we got a nice picture with us both smiling at the camera with some of the nice holiday lights that the manager had strung around. 

I enjoyed myself, watching the ghouls (with the exception of Renji and Yoshimura) get drunk off of the blood wine. Renji at least seemed keen to keep his head on straight and I got the impression that Yoshimura might be the type to avoid drinking in general. “Ms. Aika. Perhaps you should get home.” The old man turned to look at his drunk patrons with a soft smile. “And make sure they can as well. You’ve got work in the morning.” I blinked, turned quickly to a clock and gasped. Half-Past Midnight! “Renji! It’s past midnight---”  
Renji nodded with an expression that said: “Say less” He was all for leaving now. I wondered if he would have rather been having a holiday thing with ‘Kitten’ whomever that was. It was likely that he’d been commandeered for this trip by Itori. “Thanks Renji…” I whispered and watched as he half lifted Itori and helped her when she stumbled out the door. “Uta...can you walk alright?”

He nodded, an uneven and jerky motion but he stood up. Swayed and then started to move. “Bjorn! Come on bear-bear! Gotta get Uta-kun home!”

As I exited the cafe I turned back for a moment to yell back. “Happy Holidays Mr. Yoshimura! Thanks for everything!” And then we were back out in the cold weather. The sky deemed us worthy of some large swirling flakes of snow that landed on our nose and eyelashes. Bjorn sneezed when they landed on his nose and then tried to snap his teeth around them.

Renji finagled Itori back into the front seat and got in. “You got him?” The silver haired ghoul asked, looking at Uta who swayed gently on his feet. “Yeah, he’s not as bad off as she is!” Uta may be swaying, but he was keeping his own feet and didn’t need to have a crutch to keep him up. The tattooed man managed to get into the car on his own after Bjorn jumped in. 

Carefully I started to crawl in after him, only to be pulled up close again. His nose and mouth pressed up into my neck and shoulder. Words I couldn’t understand were muttered but when I asked they would not be repeated. I raised my hand and gently ran my fingers through some of the hair that had pulled loose from his ponytail.

On second thought he might need some help back out of the car.

♥

I could see that Itori had also passed out in the front seat leaving Renji and myself as the only two conscious and sober people in the car. Uta had fallen asleep for at least a portion of the ride home as far as I could tell. The breath on my neck had become steady and even after just a few minutes and even the arms around my waist had relaxed just a little with his relaxed unconsciousness. 

Renji glanced at the rear view mirror a few times and saw what I already knew. “He’s asleep isn’t he.” I nodded just faintly to avoid upsetting Uta’s head off my shoulder. “I’ll start to train you by the end of the week. This friday after work.”

He pulled up as close as he could to Uta’s shop, stopping and letting me nudge and pull Uta out of the car all the while trying to coax him awake gently. “Uta, come on. Time to get you to bed!”  
Renji mercifully helped me get him up and hold him on his feet, awake and stumbling along with us both to his front door. “Are you sure that you can get him up the stairs on your own?” Renji asked doubtfully, watching as his friend leaned heavily on me.

“Renji-kun...I’m fine. I’m good.” Uta muttered, making me laugh while struggling a little before managing to right us both. “Yeah. I’ve got him. Worse case he can sleep on his shop floor since he felt like drinking so much!”

“Mean…” The tattooed ghoul complained. 

Uta pulled out his keys, handing them to me instead of even trying to find the right one himself and we shambled ourselves into the building, leaving Renji outside to doubtfully stare after us. Bjorn instantly ran up the stairs and watched us with impatiens - you’d think he thought he owned the place. “Come on….Just got. To get. You up. The stairs!” I grunted, trying my best to heave a decent amount of Uta’s weight up each stair. He didn’t look all that heavy since he seemed fairly leanly built; but muscle weighed more than fat after all so it did make sense.

“God your heavy!” I groaned.  
“Rude...but I still look fine as hell.” I snorted at the declaration coming from the normally calm, neutral ghoul. “Yeah, you’re fine. You look real fine. Happy?”

We both managed to get all the way into the apartment and down the hallway to Uta’s bedroom. “You mean it Ai-chan?”  
“Yeah.” Of course I did. What? Did he expect me to tell him he was wrong. I glanced out of the corner of my eyes and saw that he was looking at me with a dopey smile. I pushed open his door and all but dropped him into the bed, feeling like I might need to take a breather myself after that exercise. “Alright I’m going to head home Ut---”

He leaned forward, almost falling off the bed in the effort to stop me from leaving the room. “It’s dark out…” I could see on his face that the quick movement seemed to upset something in him. His face paled a bit and he suddenly looked like he might hurl any second. I pulled the bedroom basket over just in time for him to curl over and vomit a mix of blood and coffee into the bin.

“Don’t...go?” I heard the words murmured over the bin and despite the welling bit of disgust for the mix of fermented human blood and coffee I agreed. “Okay. Alright. You’re right, it’s dark out. It’s not very safe...And you...you look kind of awful actually. Sorry. How much did you actually drink?” I leaned down onto my knees and pulled his hair from around his face. Opting to pull the hair tie out and re-tie it all up a bit better to keep it out of the way so it would remain vomit free. My fingers still lingered on his head and entangled in his hair, trying to soothe the best I could. 

“Almost...half the bottle. The room is spinning still…” The ghoul coughed and then hurled up a bit more. Rest assured I wasn’t looking too closely at what came back out of Uta’s stomach. “...Maybe too much.” I moved my hands from his head to his back to rub circles into the muscles until it seemed he would be done vomiting at least a few minutes. “Let's get you to the bathroom. You can hug the toilet there then I’ll get you some water.”

He nodded and grabbed the basket to bring it with him until we made it to the bathroom. “Here, sit here. I’ll be right back. I’m getting you a glass of water. If we get enough into you, you might avoid a hangover tomorrow...can you take tylenol?”  
Uta leaned over the toilet, drunk and looking like he was holding onto it for dear life but he nodded again- right before spewing out more blood and coffee and a few more solid bits. 

I stood up and left the room, only glancing back to make sure that Uta was able to sit up right. I grabbed a glass from a cupboard and hastily filled it up with cold water. In the back of my head I wondered if maybe he’d overdone it on the alcohol only after Shuu had upset him - because of what Shuu had said. All because of me no less. My old ‘friend’ and Uta were bound to get into a real fight sooner or later. A real knock-down, drag-out battle and it would be because of me. I let out an exhausted sigh.

“Uta...where have you got the tylenol?”

“In here…” I returned to the bathroom and bent down to hand him the glass of water. “Above the sink.” I got up and pulled on the mirror, popping the magnetic free to show a compartment. Inside was an assortment of toothpaste, mouthwash, old receipts and both aspirin and tylenol. “...they help with hangovers a bit. Pretty much useless otherwise.”

With the pill bottle in my hand I leaned back down, kneeling next to him. “Don’t take it until you can keep it down. Okay?” There I sat, staying next to him until he hadn’t thrown up for some time and he could freely drink down a few gulps of water. I handed him a couple tylenol and smiled. “Hungry any? Food helps...at least for me. Might be different for a ghoul. For humans, eating something dry and bready helps you sober up a bit...”

“Yeah. A bit. Stomach is in knots...” He admitted and sat up a bit straighter. He chucked the pills into his mouth and took a larger gulp of water to get them down. “Sorry about this Ai-chan...you should be sleeping. You’ve got work in a few hours.”  
I exhaled and leaned back: both palms and butt flat against the floor. “Yeah. I do. But it’s okay. I’m just glad you seem to be feeling better. Come’on. Brush your teeth. That’s gross!” I stuck my tongue out playfully and then got up to leave the bathroom to let Uta clean himself up.

A few minutes later Uta emerged from the washroom on his own, swaying only a little on his feet as he walked. Far from drunk; he looked sober and incredibly tired. “You alright?” I popped open his fridge and looked around - realizing that I had no idea what was human or ghoul meat. “Er...What do you want?”

He stopped at the couch and sat down; more or less letting his weight fall into the seat. “Top container. Left side.” I quickly looked between containers and shrugged; picking up the container he said out of the fridge and brought it to Uta, kicking the fridge shut before I left the room. “Here you go! That's the right one?”

Uta reached to take it from me, pulled the lid off and sniffed it. He nodded. “Yeah. That’s the one. Thanks.” He picked up a sloppy hunk and shoved it into his mouth; blood dribbling down his chin only to be followed out by his tongue to lick it up. “I guess I might as well stay the night. But remember I’ve got to leave early. Sorry if leaving wakes you up.” I glanced at the hour and repressed a groan. It was nearly 2am which only left a little more than 4 hours until I needed to get up and around for work. Tomorrow would be a very long day. I yawned and stretched out.

“Ai-chan...go to bed. I’ll go to bed soon as I’m done eating.” Uta said between bites, a small concern frown making its way onto his face. “As long as you didn’t mind last night's arrangements?”

“Last night…? Oh!” I blushed, remembering that we had slept in the same bed. I had, in a spur of the moment and half-conscious decision, invited him to sleep in his own bed even though he had offered to sleep on his couch. Not only that but I’d woken up I’d found that he had stayed a respectable distance away. “Yeah, I’ll try not to steal all the blankets again.” I grinned sheepishly. “Are you sure you’re feeling better?”

He already had another piece of meat filling his mouth but the ghoul nodded his head.  
I called Bjorn who stood up and walked with me to Uta’s room. Even he seemed happy to stretch out and go to sleep as soon as possible.

Still in my nice clothes I stretched out in bed and curled a blanket around myself. Just a few hours is what I could hope for - just enough to get me through a work day. I’ve had less sleep before.

I was barely aware when the door cracked open and closed. A weight pushed the bed springs down announcing that Uta had crawled into bed . “Night Uta-kun…” I breathed lightly, hoping that he could not only hear me but understand my sleepy slurring.

“Sleep well Ai-chan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uta a gentle-ghoul and stayed a respectable distance from sleeping Ai-chan! But it still counts. They slept in the same bed!~  
> Shuu is a recurring character/issue in Aika's life. :( Also I personally love "Weak Human caring for Strong Ghoul during illness/or injury". It is nice.
> 
> Personal note: Had a root canal done when my tooth started to hurt like an ice pick through my skull. There is NOTHING quite like TEETH hurting.  
> All went well just gotta get a crown on it in a few weeks. After i felt a bit better I jumped right back on writing so it wouldn't be SUPER late! ♥
> 
> Also this story has so many kudos and hits. I'm completely shook! That's amazing. Q u Q
> 
> I've tried to go through it for mistakes - but as always this is unbeta's and with 5k-8k words a chapter it's hard to get everything. XD


	34. Chapter 34: Learning to take a punch

Chapter 34: Learning to take a punch

The next day dragged. Each hour felt like several and I found myself dazed and spacey when I wasn’t glancing at the clock almost forgetting orders and rubbing my eyes more than once. For the first time Roma actually picked up a little slack and helped out when I’d fallen behind. It almost made me look at her in a favorable light. Almost. Multiple times I apologized to Yoshimura for my exhausted state but he waved me off. 

He had seen how Uta had left the cafe the night before and no doubt he had an idea of the trouble we ran into. When the day finally did end I was quick to take the chance to leave and headed straight home. My only stop was very briefly into Uta’s shop to pick up Bjorn and explain I was too tired to hang out. My plans for the night included sleep exclusively. Back home, my bed felt cold and too hard after a few nights on a proper bed. Even three hours of sleep on Uta’s bed sounded better than trying to get comfortable on my own futon.

“I got spoiled Bear-Bear…” I muttered, leaning off the futon to rub his head.  
He lifted his head and whined. “You like him now, don't you?” The massive dog laid his head down but stared up with his chocolate eyes.  
“Come on. It’s back to normal with work five days a week. We both have to get back into the swing of things.” A nice nap wouldn’t hurt though.

♥

A couple days passed and I had thankfully returned to getting enough sleep and didn’t have to suffer through another experience like the day after the party. But Friday came quickly and even during the work day I was caught thinking of Renji’s plan to start training. The man himself showed up an hour before my shift ended and got himself some coffee and waited patiently until I was set free. 

I’d prepared for today; bringing a change of clothing with me as well as other necessary items. My mask and knife were constant companions since Uta had told me to keep them near. Sneakers, an old set of baggy pants and a tank top, over which could put a sweater to keep myself a bit warmer were brought along just for this occasion. In addition to clothing I also packed up a few things. Water. A snack and likely most important: a medical kit. It wasn’t for anything major but if I got cut up I’d have something to clean it with.

I exited the bathroom once I changed out of work clothes and looked around for Renji. Spotting him by the counter speaking with Yoshimura I waved my greeting and headed over. “Hey. I’m all ready.”

Yoshimura glanced my way and frowned. “Renji told me he’s training you after work.”  
I nodded and continued to beam. “Yup.” I hadn't really told anybody else what I had in store for the rest of the week. But then again nobody had asked either - they assumed I'd be headed back home, or to Uta's as I normally did everyday.  
“Have you been having trouble with anybody?”

The question surprised me a little coming from Yoshimura. “No?" I said slowly, frowning at the question. He was probably concerned. After all I was the only human working for a ghoul cafe. It had been fairly lucky the customers were all very kind to me unlike other ghouls; Shuu. I'd heard a lot from Touka through the week. Tsukiyama wasn't very welcome around here for now and it didn't look like that would change based on the way Touka sneered his name. Surprisingly she shared with me that my old frie---former friend had joined up with Kaneki. She didn't talk much more about our missing employee and I let it go; not wanting to cause anymore pain for her. Talking about Ken seemed to ache her terrible. "Not at all Sir. It’s just precautionary. Even if I don’t ever have to fight I’ll be in shape.”

The old ghoul’s own frown turned to a small smile and nodded. “Alright. If the fourth ward ever becomes too dangerous for you, I can always find a place for you here.”

My smile fell from my face immediately and I felt suddenly a little bitter. It was an unpleasant feeling considering how I held the old ghoul in high regards. He had helped me out so much and accepted my presence here in his cafe. However! We’d had this conversation before and I’d thought that I’d made it rather clear what I desired.  
“...um. Sorry Sir. I don't want to come across as harsh. But--” I bit my lip, irritated but unsure how to word it. It may be rude but I felt the need to be direct! I made sure to look the old ghoul in the eyes and held myself up tall. “With all due respect, I feel safe in Uta’s territory and...I-...I would prefer you stop trying to get me to leave. It’s my home and he’s plenty capable of keeping me safe there. I realize you’re only doing it out of kindness but...I’m comfortable there. You don’t have to watch out for me.”

I pursed my lips and waited to see what kind of reaction that might elicit. I expected maybe disappointment but was surprised to see a sweet elderly smile cross Yoshimura’s expression. “...My dear, that makes me rest easy to hear you say so. I won’t mention it again.”  
I shuffled on my feet, suddenly embarrassed that I’d taken such a hard stance. “...but also. Thanks for looking out for helping me out when I needed it.”

"Of course dear. We help our friends in need here at Anteiku."

“Come on Aika. Time to go.”  
I followed the silver haired ghoul out of the cafe and away. As we begun to walk further from the cafe I began to feel lost; unable to recognize the streets. Surely we were heading towards one of the openings to the 24th ward and someplace we could train. When Renji turned and opened a door into a back alley building that turned out to be mostly empty I followed him in and looked around us. This was a different opening than last time, but after we crawled down a ladder it looked nearly identical and I realized then just how easily someone could get lost in the labyrinth. "How far do these tunnels reach anyway? It looks just like the other entrance..."

"All over Tokyo." He shrugged off his jacket and threw it aside. My attention was quickly drawn from looking around back to Renji when he exhaled a long sigh. “Alright Aika. Have you brought your knife?”  
I nodded, pulling it from my deeper pockets in my coat. However he motioned for me to put it away as soon as I had it out. “Good. For right now you won’t need it. We'll work on that later. Set your things aside for now, we're working on basics.” I took off my heavier coat and set it aside along with my other bags of stuff. 

“Come here, I want you to try to hit me while not getting hit as well." When I shot him a nervous glance he added: "I won’t be hitting too hard.” Renji looked me over and seemed...conflicted. Finally he spoke up again; “If I hurt you tell me right away and we’ll stop.”

I nodded. I understood what he was asking. Dodge while trying to get in as many hits as I can.  
He lifted his hands into a fighting stance and nodded back. 

And so began training.   
At first I was extremely wary about getting hit at all. I was nervous about how strong ghouls were compared to a small human like myself. So it wasn't a huge surprise when the first time he landed a punch I felt the bones in my shoulder where he struck rattle. I grit my teeth to keep from biting my tongue or yelling out in pain or shock. That...was light!? It felt a bit like a stone the size of a fist had been pelted at me by some baseball athlete! I did strike back, grimacing as I used the same arm and shoulder that he’d just hit and struck him in the neck. A cough from him was the worst ‘injury’ I’d been able to put on him the entire time. Without a blade that could sink into a ghoul's flesh I wasn’t doing anything to him. I might as well be kicking a mountain to try to topple it.

I took a few steps back and went on guard while I tried to catch my breath. I’d be hit like that again and again many, many times if I planned on having this training continued. Did I absolutely have to do this? Probably not. Uta was able to protect me. Just as I’d told Yoshimura he was. Even Renji had mentioned his friend would be more than willing to do just that.   
But I wanted to; desperately. 

The desperation, necessary or not, drove me back into the 'fight'. I'd learn to take punches that were gentle compared to what he could do, but left me grinding my teeth together. I'd learn and get better.

Finally the blunt force trauma to my body became enough that I backed off and held up my palms in surrender. Every inch of my body groaned with a nearly constant ache. There were marks surely scattered across my body in fast rising bruises; Blue and purples of broken blood vessels upon impact. What hadn’t been hit had been stretched out to it's limit. Muscles that I didn’t use often whined at the additional work I’d put them through.

Renji lowered his hands, dropping the fighting stance completely to come closer and examine me for injuries. There was no doubt how much stronger ghouls were to humans. The only thing that convinced me it was possible to become proficient enough to fight them was the very existence of the CCG field officers who regularly attacked and often killed ghouls many times stronger than humans.   
“Are you alright?” He asked, looking over some of the marks that he’d put on me in the last hours. I nodded, bending down to grab the second bottled water I’d brought and drained half almost instantly. “Just a little sore…” I muttered, cringing. This would be every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. At least that gave me this weekend to recover from this beating. 

“We’ve been down here a while. I’ll take you home. Now, before I manage to hurt you any more.” He collected his own jacket off the floor and threw it on. Renji then bent down to pick up my bags and waited for me to climb up ahead of him. The ladder was much like the first one and didn’t feel particularly secure. I’d be lying if I claimed that I didn’t fear falling as I’d almost done before. It didn’t help that my arms and legs already were crying out with pain and exhaustion. 

I was relieved to be up above ground again when I reached the top and waited for Renji. I looked out of a grungy window and saw that it was past dark now and hours uncounted had gone by. I quickly took out my phone and text Uta telling him training was over and Renji was taking me home. “Aika...you did really well.”

I looked away from the darkened outdoors and raised my eyebrows at him. “Did I? I feel like I got mauled honestly…” He looked away rubbing the stubble on his chin when I said that and I laughed. “If you tell Uta that, I’m the one that’s going to get mauled…”

He handed me my stuff again, making sure that I was okay to carry it before dropping the weight completely on me. “I’ll be honest Aika. I thought that after the first few times you got hit you would back off or… become fearful of getting hit again since it clearly hurt...” He looked down at me then, an unreadable expression on his face. “You proved me wrong. Instead of wincing away you jumped right back into the fight.”

I grinned feeling a surge of pride take hold of me. “Old training I guess. Uta’s not really going to maul you when you get me back is he? It’s just training.”

“We’ll see.” Renji said, but he seemed unconvinced he wasn't going to be abused when we got back.

♥

Renji had his ‘gently used’ vehicle a few blocks to the entrance to our training grounds and lead us back to it, using it to get back to my home. He walked me to Uta’s when I mentioned I’d need to pick up Bjorn since Uta had eagerly agreed to watch him while he worked in his shop for the day. It was well past HySy’s closing time so I knocked on the door and gently pushed it open. “Hey Uta, it’s us.” I said, entering the building and letting Renji in behind me. Behind us the door was shut tightly. 

I bent down to kneel and pet Bjorn when the dog bounded quickly at me. “Who’s a good boy!?”

“Ai-chan.” Uta stood up from his desk chair, dropping his work and approached quickly. He stopped in front of me and took a quick glance over to access me. “How’d it go?”

I stood up; wincing as the muscles cried out in protest. It wasn’t something that the ghoul missed. He reached out to steady me and frowned. “Are you okay?” He glanced towards Renji. His dark eyes narrowed slightly before I prodded his chest with a finger to grab his attention back. “Hey. I’m fine. Trust me. A little worn out, a little bruised but perfectly fine. It’s training remember! Not a tickle fight with feathers.”

Uta’s expression relaxed but he still seemed a little riled. “How’d you do?”  
I glanced over my shoulder to Renji; ready to let him explain that part. Uta’s head turned in the same direction expecting a response. I bent back down to pat Bjorn’s head and rub at his ears as the two men talked about my training. “It’s only the first real training...you saw her before with the knife. She did well.”

I blinked and glanced towards Uta when I felt that the ghoul had knelt down next to me and moved aside a bit of my sleeve to show off one brand new bruise blooming. The fabric dragged away from the mark was irritating and made me wince once again. 

“How hard did you hit her?” Uta said, his tone sounded bland but the frown on his face told me he was either worried or perhaps annoyed. “She’s human you know…”  
“Uta I’m not made of glass.” I argued to defend Renji. He wouldn’t be mauled on my watch at the very least. “Renji’s teaching me---” I reached and laid a hand on the hand that gently pawed over my injuries. “--Just as you said he could. Didn’t you ask him if he’d do this? And I really, REALLY want to learn. So---you know. Don’t maul him or whatever...? ”

His fingers gently traveled across the raised flesh of the bruise he’d chosen to fixate on and then dropped away. “Okay…”

“But---” I added quickly, flashing a quick smile. It was the weekend and tomorrow I was free from work. “I know what would help soothe the aches and pains! At least a little bit~” The ghoul’s eyes turned to glanced quickly into my own; curiosity gleaming there. “Can I stay over? Your bed is softer…”

I heard a throat clear and I glanced, face flushed and realized that that sounded---it sounded like a more personal private conversation. “To sleeeeep!” I clarified indignantly. “I’m going to head out.” Renji responded, already turning and opening the door. “Next Monday Aika. Take care of those bruises…”

“You can stay.” Uta said once the door clicked behind Renji. “I’m working on some masks pretty late tonight. I wanted to have them done by tomorrow night.” I nodded my head idly and looked past him towards his work place, scattered with stray bits of fabric and material of all types. He had a total of three different masks being worked on at one time. Each at a different stage of creation. “I can see you’ve been busy. Are you sure it’s okay that I stay? I don’t want to distract you too badly.”

He nodded, and stood up straight again. “Do you want to stay the whole weekend?” He reached down to help me stand back on my own two feet. He easily pulled my weight off the ground as if it were nothing.

“The whole- Sure! I mean, Yes! Um...But--- in that case I do need you to walk me back home real fast if you don’t mind. To grab clothes and stuff.” I glanced quickly back at his masks, and knew that despite saying I didn’t want to distract him - I was doing just that.

The ghoul moved quickly, pulling keys from one of his deep pockets and jingled them. A very slight, playful smile curled it’s way onto his lips making the piercing there twitch and catch the light for a moment. “I can, especially if it means I get you for the whole weekend.” Uta moved towards the door and turned his back to me before I had time to process what he’d said.

Because of that he completely missed it as my face flared up red.   
I dipped my head and followed him, out the door. Thankfully the freezing air helped to disguise if not completely hide my heated face. He had me for the entire weekend? Indeed I supposed that he did. I was glad that Renji had left when he did - although I doubted that that particular sentence would have gotten back to Itori. Renji wasn’t a rumor mill sort of guy as far as I could tell. Uta glanced at me as we walked down the street; as if he’d be able to spot injuries or expected to see me limping. A concerned frown had made its way back onto his face as he studied me closely.

“Uta? I’m really okay. I promise. If I wasn’t I’d say something.”

He didn’t say much to that, his eyes raised up to meet my own and I shot him a reassuring smile which he finally returned. Bjorn had been running around us as per usual - sprinting far ahead and then back only to repeat the process. Just after I grinned at Uta the big dog rounded both of us and bumped his head into my side making me yelp, followed by gritting my teeth.   
Uta’s expression dropped flat and he stopped walking. Well he had been convinced for a moment I thought mournfully. I held up my hands to defend myself from his expression. “I’m really okay. It’s just sore.”

“Will you let me take a look?”

“I--well. Y-yeah I guess. Not out here.” I whimpered softly, the bruises on my side still hurting with every beat of my heart especially after being bumped by Bjorn and his hard ass skull. Bjorn for his part looked sorry and confused about why his human had yelped after getting bumped into. Gently I patted his head and made soft reassuring noises. 

“Have you got ice cubes in your freezer?” I asked Uta, knowing that it would help a lot to have some cold ice to press into my painful muscles and various sore spots. A shower would also feel really good after the training workout. Uta nodded and then began walking a bit faster than before towards my apartment. At the door I caught up and pulled out my keys and pushed it open. Uta stepped in after me and stood by; his eyes wandered the room again.

I started to rustle some of my clothes and pull them out of my dresser; haphazardly throwing them into a small bag to haul along with me. As well as my clothes I grabbed a couple of Bjorn’s toys, bowl and food for the next couple days. I turned, hearing a faint chuckle behind me. I followed the ghouls gaze at the faded blood splatters on the wall. "...you still haven't painted over these?"

"I...I've been busy. Anyway... it's probably not too out of place for buildings to have blood splatters on the walls. I can just say it was there when I moved in." I finished by grabbing some of my own shower products and shoving them into the bag with the rest of my necessary belongings. “Although..." I turned back to face the splatters; a cross looking crease formed on my forehead as I considered the mess. "I should probably do that soon though...considering how annoying Investigator Amon has been lately.”

Uta took a few steps closer and sniffed faintly. “I can still smell it - and bleach.” He scrunched his nose and then turned his gaze towards me. His hands were held outstretched to take my bag. “Do you think he’ll continue to bother you?” I handed him the bag of clothing and bathroom soaps gratefully and headed towards the fridge to grab what I’d need out of there.

“Amon? Hum...Probably. But not exactly the same way he would you guys. I think that…” I paused to think about it and then started again, slowly trying to come up with a way to word it while I stuffed a couple days worth of food into a plastic shopping bag. “I think- that Amon has a misguided concern for my well being. I may have lied too well when I first met him and he seems to have become concerned about my safety more than necessary. You know, 4th ward, just lost my job, boss eaten by ghouls and to top it off the abuse from said boss...and then add into that I was the last person to see that one guy you killed. I guess he seems to think he’s got some interest in my well being. Especially after he got the results back saying I wasn’t a ghoul. ‘Innocent’ in other words...it’s a bit weird actually. My family name probably doesn't help either...”

I turned to look at Uta with a stern look. He cocked his head and gave me a blank look as I spoke up. “Don’t even think about going to kill him. It’s not harmful at the moment. Just...irritating. Plus it’s probably in his files that he was looking into my RC levels and they came up a little abnormal. The last thing either of us need is a bunch of Doves coming here because the guy was poking around in the area and up and disappeared. That would send off too many red flags.”

The ghoul moved to lean on the fridge and smiled faintly. “I’ll leave him be as long as he’s not hunting us down. Is he only just irritating?”  
“Well… V-e-r-y irritating. I keep wondering when he’s going to crawl back out of the woodwork. But as long as he doesn't catch you eating somebody he’s harmless.”

“You’re not concerned about him keeping an eye on you because of your own count?”

“I’m still human. My humanity is a shield that you lack. They can’t touch me based on an abnormal RC count as long as I can prove I’m still human which is easy enough to do with a blood test. You on the other hand...they think your very life is a crime. So yes. I worry more for you…and Renji and everybody.” I rubbed my hands over my face and groaned. The worry I felt for my ghoul friends was real and it did tire me mentally to think about it too much. 

That big show of force to attack the Aogiri ghoul showed what they’re willing to do even in a populous place. What would stop them from doing that at any point in Tokyo? They’d said they’d evacuated civilians but who could be sure that that was even 100% true?

“Don’t worry about me. I’m stronger than I look Ai-chan…” I laughed softly and smiled up at him, stuffing the last of my food for the weekend into the bag. “Oh? You must be terrifying then. Should I be scared?”

The ghoul held my gaze in silence for a half second longer than was comfortable and my smile fell just a little.   
“Of me? No. I won’t hurt you...some things I do may scare you off though.”

I raised my arm, hand help out in a plee for help. “Well then if that’s the case - Help me up. Big, tough, scary ghoul. I'm sure your strong enough to get me off the floor.”

He did so as soon as I asked; pulling me up smoothly from the floor in front of my fridge to my feet. My shoulder complained about the motion and tension in my body but didn’t hurt so much to make my cry out. “-And I will always worry about the people I love! It doesn't matter to me if you're stronger than me. It’s just the way I am.”

They were all so vulnerable at the fringes of human society. I could see that. I’d seen it from the moment I’d learned he was a ghoul in all honesty. That moment where I realized that while he could kill me and I could have ruined his life or brought something worse than death to him by rating him out. How strong they were physically was at odds with how vulnerable they could be when attacked with a large force of skilled and prepared Doves. I felt justified for being concerned.

“But!~” I said more cheerfully. “Enough of that! I think I’ve got everything I’ll need so I shouldn’t have to interrupt your work again for you to walk me back.” I did a mental double check and nodded. Everything from clothes for the day, PJ’s for the night, necessary bathroom items and food for both Bjorn and myself. We were set!

I made sure to re-lock my apartment door tight behind me. I paused to glance at Ms. Kirin’s apartment with curious concern. The old lady had acted almost frightened of me - and even though I knew that couldn’t be the case - it still made me feel a bit guilty. Maybe avoiding me was the best bet for her though, if the alternative was her trying to eat me.

♥

Back at the studio Uta handed the bag of items back to me when I insisted I could make it up the stairs just fine with it. My arms were full yes, but I wasn’t crippled. “I’ll be back down in a few minutes anyway. I like to watch you work. After a shower. I feel a bit icky after sweating so much...”

“Tell me about your training with Renji when you come back down?”

“Of course! You said that there’s ice in your freezer I can use, right?” He nodded his head; already leaning over an unfinished mask. He gave no additional warnings about the frozen section of his fridge so I figured it would be the usual. Bjorn followed me wherever I went in the house, standing guard outside the bathroom like a loyal gargoyle.

I unloaded my various food items into the fridge and soaps onto the counter of the bathroom. A comfortable pair of shorts and the over-large tank top Uta had given me to wear were neatly laid out with a clean pair of panties and bra. These at least would allow me the freedom to press cold ice into the many bumps across my body. Not to mention being able to count them up and make sure nothing was all that badly damaged. As I stripped I did start my count, spotting a couple marks. The worst of them looked to be on my ribs from a blow that had knocked the air out of me and one of the few that Renji had immediately apologized for. The expression of guilt on his face had me waving my hands and rejecting the apology. 

‘There’s nothing to apologize for Renji-kun. It’s training. I’m fine.’  
He had still been a little more careful after that - and he’d insisted I take a break to eat and drink something.

I scrubbed ‘girly’ smelling shampoo into my hair rather than Uta’s soaps. I combed through it with a conditioner until it felt silky again rather than oily and finally started to rub gently on some of the bruises. I found that it helped ease the ache, even if it was just a little bit. 

Once I was out and dried I tossed on my clothes and tied a towel around my head to dry my hair a bit more before doing anything else with it. From the kitchen I grabbed a little baggy, filled it with ice from Uta’s freezer and wrapped it with a small hand towel to keep the chill directly off my skin. I grabbed the one comb I’d packed and headed back down the stairs into Uta’s studio. Bjorn bounded down ahead of me announcing my imminent approach.

I pulled a chair over to someplace where I could watch his work and stayed quiet. His eyes remained on his work and his hands working on delicate stitching didn’t pause or stray when I arrived. I alternated which bruise or bump I set the ice pack on based on how much they were paining me. When one would pulse I’d swap the pack to it until the pain grew distant. 

By the time I had a bag of cold water most of them felt a bit better and my hair was dried under the towel on my head. I set both the bag of ice and the head wrap towel aside and drug my fingers through the slightly tangled mane before attempting to use a comb through it.

I parted out my hair, combing through bits of it until I felt that it was all falling neatly in silky smooth curtains. Not a single tangle to be had. All the while I’d been combing I’d watched ‘my’ ghoul. He had an incredible ability to hyperfocus on his work. If he wasn’t a ghoul I might have believed he had no idea I was even in the room as he had yet to even glance up or say a word.

As I watched I noticed a few little ticks he had when stuck in thought or contemplation. A few pen tapping, leg hopping movements that were expected but he also would sometimes bit his lower lip - or more specifically the piercing there. Other times one free hand would raise and twist at one of his other metal adornments until he decided what he was working on next.

I stopped combing, opting to gently run my own fingers through my hair for a while; content with the relaxing motion. I was almost startled when the ghoul cleared his throat, set down his tools and leaned back in his chair. He stretched out and yawned before finally turning his head to look around the studio.  
I noted the way his gaze glanced over my attire and paused on the shirt that I was wearing. After a brief moment he looked to the small pile of towels, bag of water and a comb that sat next to me. Then they strayed back to my skin, marked with injuries. A small frown found its way onto the males face as he examined purple marks from afar. “I’m okay Uta.” I said for what was likely not the last time; trying to interrupt any thoughts he might have about the ghoul who had put these marks on me. “---did you make much headway on the mask?” I asked, pulling his attention away from my injuries as soon as I could. He turned to look fondly at the masks he’d been working on. He picked up one and held it out to me. I took it in my hands and turned it over to look at it carefully. It had a wide grin of crooked crimson teeth like some kind of movie monster. A large fake eye sat about forehead height and glared angerly out at the world. The painting done on that eye seemed to show as much emotion as a living one. It was one of the darker and more creepy designs that I enjoyed.

“It’s almost done...The final stitches or strapping needs to be put in place. But it’s getting late and I’m getting hungry.” He gazed up at me as I very carefully placed the mask back down on his desk where it would await it's final details. The ghoul sniffed the air and then tilted his head to the side curiously “You smell nice….”

“In a ‘food’ way, or you mean a flowery soap way?” I asked, a small chuckle left me despite his words. They really should concern me, but here I was laughing. “You used the words “I’m hungry” and “You smell nice” awfully close together. Do you need me to go grab you something from the fridge?”

“Your soap--” Uta clarified. The ghoul’s smile peeked out from under his poker face. “-- maybe both. As always.” He seemed to mull over my offer to grab a container from his fridge for him before shaking his head. “Not quite that hungry yet. I’ll get it when we go up.”

“Your hair is down now. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you with it down with no braids or ties…” Uta remarked suddenly, peering up at the shining curtain of hair. My hand raised subconsciously to my head, pulling through a few strands automatically and pushing them behind an ear. “Yeah. It’s getting so long that it’s kind of a hassle if it’s not up. But if I put it up without combing it, it’ll turn into a birds nest.” I laughed gently, still playing with a free strand. 

I remembered a while ago that Uta had suggested an undercut would probably help me out. The hair could be kept off my neck, there wouldn’t be so much to take care of and I could still do all the same styles. Just with a little less hair. Which honestly couldn’t hurt since while it was down like this and combed it lay halfway down my back and was extremely thick.

“Maybe I’ll get it cut at some point…”

“I thought you didn’t trust people to cut it after a couple bad haircuts.” He chuckled remembering my argument against doing such a thing. I shrugged my shoulders still uncommitted to actually doing it. But the idea did persist. I’d probably be more comfortable. “ Well I guess I can’t leave it to keep growing forever.”

I turned and plucked up my growing pile of items to take back upstairs where they belonged. “Come on. Let's go up so you can grab something to eat before you decide I smell too tempting.” Bjorn saw where we were going and sprinted ahead up the stairs to wag his tail at us from the stop step. “I think that Bjorn thinks this is his house now or something.” I snorted, watching the dog happily find ‘his spot’ and lay down to watch us when we reached the living quarters. “You’re both welcome here anytime…”

Uta went to the kitchen immediately and began shuffling around through the pieces of corpse(s) in his fridge. I peeked in to spot him seemingly weighing two containers in between his hands; unable to decide which one would be tonight's dinner. I stepped around him and grabbed coffee grounds out of the cupboard to begin to whip up a cup for us both. 

Behind me I heard the ghoul laugh gently, looking into the light of the fridge. I turned and gave him a curious look, only to see that he’d picked up something I’d brought over to eat. Before I’d tossed it in I’d marked it with an X to demote that it wasn’t ghoul food. I had done the same with Bjorn’s food for that matter.

“I marked them. So if you stuff chicken into your mouth that is entirely your own fault.” I said; half joking but still half serious about it. “And you’ll owe one of us dinner.” Uta put it back into the fridge while still grinning. He finally picked out a larger container of bloody soup. It appeared that the ghoul had disemboweled the poor victim and collected all the organs into a single container. I quickly turned back to the coffee and concentrated on making it while in the background I could hear the ghoul happily slurp up his food.

♥

“Ai-chan aren't you hungry?” Uta questioned, finishing up the last of his soupy organ bowl. I shook my head. I didn't blame the swirling container of blood and organs that Uta had been rather loudly eating from for a while either. I had been happy to drink my own cup of coffee while tuning the evening news on the TV and completely ignoring THAT. “No. I packed food for when I was training. We took a break midway through and Renji insisted that I ate. That wasn’t too long ago. So I'm not really hungry.”

His eyes drifted back to a dark mark on a shoulder facing him. Uta set aside the empty bowl and then reached, gently touching the mark that had grabbed his fixation. “You haven't told me about your training yet.”

“Oh. OH! Yeah I had said I would when I got back down stairs. You just looked so concentrated that I---” I flinched as his fingers brushed the mark and I saw him pull back, surprised that it had hurt me. “Sorry.”  
“No! it’s fine. I’m sore but sometimes rubbing gently helps a bit. Just surprised me.” I tried to assure him with a small smile “--the training went well...I think.” I paused, feeling a little unsure. The level of power between a human and ghoul was so wide that at times I felt a bit useless even though it was only training. “I guess it’s hard to forget that these are just light hits…he wasn’t trying to hurt me at all. I wonder how much I can actually improve…” Or if it would ever make an actual difference.

“You’ve just started…” Uta gently urged. His fingers more gently touched my shoulder and I repressed the urge to lean more towards him. “--you’ll get better. But remember that there’s only so much you can do without a quinque. Even the Doves are next to powerless without them.”

He gently started to rub circles into my back and I let it happen, sighing and leaning forward a bit to allow the ghoul to get to more of my back. “I know. When I can’t protect myself I’ll just have to rely on you..." I allowed myself a soft sigh and hum. "That feels nice...helps a little. Remind me to stretch in the morning…” I muttered softly under my breath. 

“Renji was a bit rough with you…” Uta said a little sharper than his normal tone but he continued the soothing rubbing along the small aches and pains out of my back. “Are you sure I shouldn’t talk to him to be more gentle?”

“No...it was maybe a bit rough. But---” I took a deep breath and let it out in a long sigh. “--I’ve got to admit that I had so much fun. I haven't had the chance to fight, even if it was only training for so long. Feels nice…hurts a bit and I'm sore. But it's also a good ache...”

I chuckled, peeking out of one of my eyes at the ghoul. “You know! Renji was thinking you might maul him when you saw my bruises. He seemed pretty worried about it. I didn’t think that he could BE worried. It's probably why he said next Monday we'll be doing exercises that don't include combat. So I shouldn’t be getting hit anymore for a couple days."

That seemed to lighten his mood further and he finally seemed content knowing that I was for the most part unharmed by my next training. “That remains to be seen.” He joked quietly, laughing under his breath as he continued to rub little circles into my back.

❤

When Uta took his hand away I nearly whined out loud. I opened my eyes and pouted a bit when the physical contact was taken away. Only after looking up to shoot him the look had I realized that Uta was standing up and bringing his dish out to the kitchen to clean it. The blood left over would likely be a pain to clean off if it was left for too long so I understood. That didn't mean that I didn't crave to have the contact back.

Taking a page out of Uta’s book I spread out on the couch, taking up more space and simultaneously soaking up the body heat he left behind. When he came back into the room after rinsing the dish he paused and then crossed his arms across his chest. The smile on his face told me he wasn’t angry - no - instead he looked amused. 

He walked closer, peering down at me. For half a moment I really thought that he’d try and sit on me, taking a page from MY book. Instead he leaned over me briefly before sliding down to sit in front of the couch near my bead, butt planted firmly on the floor. I leaned up on my elbows and gaped at the back of his head. He was going to sit on the floor? He was unwilling to play that game apparently, or this was a new game. This was probably a generally good thing considering I hadn’t been joking when I’d mentioned that he was actually quite a bit heavier than myself. The idea of trying to push him off, especially with my weakened, sore muscles felt like an impossible feat. 

I leaned my body up on one elbow while my other slipped to his ponytail to play with some free strands of shiny onyx hair. A new game. When he didn’t react to it I moved to run my fingers through the thick of the tail. To my surprise he slid his back down further, letting his head rest back on the edge of the couch. Experimentally I touched the tie in his hair, stroking from that point down to the tips of his hair before speaking up. “Hey Uta…I don’t think I’ve seen you with your hair down before either...Can I...?” As I asked I gently pulled at the tie with the tips of my fingers. It wasn’t enough to budge it but was more than plenty to tell him what I wanted.

The ghoul softly hummed. With nothing else to go by besides the way he titled his head back it sounded like an affirmative. So I began to gently pull at the little rubber tie until it fell free, releasing his hair to flow back over parts of his shaved head. Uninhibited by the band I was able to curl my fingers gently in his hair, accidentally scraping my nails across his scalp softly. “Oop. Sorry.” I apologized and then continued to run my fingers through his hair smoothly; pulling a couple knots out with every bit of care that I could muster.  
“Hum. It’s fine…” Uta sighed softly. The apology was likely unneeded based on the way he subtly leaned into the touch regardless.

I reached then, trailing my hand away from the long hair to rub at the fuzz of the shaved area of his scalp. It had been over a week since he’d used the clipper on it. It was a bit less like velvet than when he’d tipped his head down for me to touch last time. Still soft, but much more--- “Like a stuffed animal.” I chuckled gently, adding: “It’s so fluffy, I’m going to die!”

The man snorted and chuckled. I wasn’t sure if he was amused by the content of my comment or the way I had just called him “Fluffy”. It probably was a little from column A as well as column B.

I took my hands away from his head and waited. I wasn’t disappointed to see that he turned his neck around to look at me once I’d stopped paying attention to him. I smirked at the way he blinked his eyes owlishly. “Do you want your seat back?” I questioned innocently. I pulled my legs up to free up more than half the couch.

“I got comfortable down here.”

“Really?” I leaned forward and pretended to study his expression closely. His eyes flickered with surprise as I leaned in close enough to see the smallest details in his eyes and the way his pupil’s size changed a little from second to second and to second. It would be easy to get caught looking at them, especially so close up. “It looked like you're pouting to me.” I announced, a slight grin working its way onto my face. He pulled away first, standing up to tower over me again. “I’m not.”

He said that with the same tone that a child might deny ‘pouting’ when questioned. He may have not been pouting about losing his seat, but he'd liked having his hair played with. Just like I’d pouted when he’d stopped rubbing my back. The ghoul moved to sit beside me again in the freed up space where my legs had ‘blocked’ him from sitting before. His hair still fell around his head in a way that I was unfamiliar with but also couldn’t deny still made him look handsome. His hair tie’s new home was around my wrist.

Bjorn took this moment to get up and stare at me with his huge chocolate eyes and slowly wag his tail. Prime begging face! “Hungry Bear-Bear?” The speed at which his tail moved turned to hyper drive and I laughed. Bjorn at least was extremely easy to read. “Alright Bud.”

I stood up and went to grab his bowl and pulled his food out of the fridge. I grabbed a pack with one of those X’s on it that indicated it was for ‘non-ghoul’ consumption. There would be nothing worse than accidentally giving him the wrong thing or eating the wrong item myself.

I set it down on the ground and let the excited dog eat his dinner. I should have expected something funny when I reentered the living room however it still caught me off guard when I spotted Uta. He had once again spread out to take up all the couch just as I’d done to him a few minutes ago, and just as he’d done before on our movie night. I narrowed my eyes, put my hands on my hips and leered at him. He pretended not to notice - staring straight ahead at the TV report. Something about the upcoming New Year.

Feeling stubborn I walked over and sat my butt down right where he had been without a word. I waited to see what he would do when I didn’t play along to what I thought he expected me to do. Minutes past and the news turned from one topic to another. I didn’t dare turn around, didn’t move or glance behind myself as much as I dearly wanted to. What face must he be making now? Blank like he showed most people? Or was he grinning because he thought it was funny? Or maybe I’d confused the man who probably expected me to climb on the couch regardless.

“A young man disappeared this week in the 13th Ward. The family has offered a reward to anybody knowing any information on their whereabouts---” I cringed and began to tune out the reports even more than before. Uta wasn’t the ONLY ghoul around obviously and that wasn’t his territory; but I didn’t want to think about ANY of the missing or worse their families. 

I felt fingers suddenly stroke over the crown of my head and I forgot the TV report. The hands gently curled into my freshly washed and combed hair. A shiver automatically shook it’s way down my spine and I enjoyed the tingles that spread over my scalp. The hands stopped moving briefly before continuing sending more tingles across my skull. I sighed, leaning back to enjoy the attention. Having my hair played with was definitely a decent trade off from having my back rubbed. 

The trade off from being on the couch was definitely worth it.

♥  
Unfortunately the floor was much harder and colder to sit on than the couch and my ass started to feel a bit numb. I shifted and then finally had to move to stand back up. Uta let me get up; watching me with a blank expression but his head was tilted curiously to one side as though questioning why I’d chosen to get up. “Scoot over!” I demanded, waving a hand at his legs. “As much as I could have you play with my hair for hours on end. The floor is cold. I can see why Bjorn likes that corner by the heat.” I added when he didn’t immediately move. Finally he pulled his legs out of the way when I explained why it was I wanted back on the couch. 

The ghoul shifted his weight again and made room next to himself; an invite to sit closer. It was an invitation that I readily took and leaned against him gently. I smiled a bit as Uta switched the TV from the news to a movie and started to let it play. “Hey Uta….it’s a little short notice but- do you want to go to the Shrine on The New Years Day with me? Maybe also the ‘Little New Year’ Festival…?”

The man’s eyes left the television screen and peered down at me, his mouth making a little ‘o’ and his eyebrows arched up high. Slowly his expression changed from surprise to some serious deliberation happening in his head. 

I grinned and then broke out into laughter seeing his expression. “What are you thinking so hard about? Is that a no? You don’t have to. I don’t always go...”  
“No. I don’t mind going.” He said with no hesitation now; but he was still giving me that serious look that I couldn’t translate. “You’re still looking at me funny, what’s wrong?”

“...you would look cute in a kimono.” He admitted. 

I stalled for a moment, unable to process that quite quick enough not to stupidly stare at him with my bottom jaw left hanging. “I--- I don’t actually have one.” I admitted a bit sheepishly, shutting my jaw quickly. Although if I did decide to get one and dressed up in a traditional Kimono then I could convince him to dress up as well. That might be interesting to see.

“Oh…” He said, the word was accompanied by a small but noticeable frown. “-but I could maybe get one for special occasions. I suppose that depends.” I mentioned quickly before he could look too disappointed.

“On?” He perked up, disappointment turning to keen interest.

“Are you going to dress up like-wise?” I challenged him, leaning a bit more against him and smiling up coly at him.

“You want me too.” He spoke up; not a question. “You should get Itori’s help picking out a Kimono.”

“Sounds like the answer is yes!” I happily laughed, leaning my head on his chest.   
"I suppose I could get her help…But I could also just ask you what you think would look pretty.”

The movie was long forgotten as we spoke of our future plans. The festival wasn’t my only plan but it would be fun. “New Years Eve I normally spend with...the Clowns.” He shifted uncomfortably under my body and I moved to sit up; only stopped by the arm around my waist. “Okay?” I said with a small question in my voice. “Is it a “Clown” ONLY thing?”

“It’s not specifically Clowns Only.”  
No, I thought. It might never have been specifically ‘no outsiders’ but I imagined that it had never been questioned before. There were places and events that I, a human, could not go and could not do. Places and events I wouldn’t want to be involved in regardless of my acceptance of ghouls. I had been tagging along to a lot of ghoul things recently--  
“I’ll stay home for the New Years Eve.” It would also save me some time spent near Roma. Something about her seemed like a lit piece of dynamite and she made me uncomfortable most of the time. “If it’s Clowns only Renji-kun won’t be there to pick your unconscious ass off the floor. So you'd better not get sick again.” I warned, grinning.

The arm around my waist tightened and the fingers rubbed gently in circles on the point of my hip. “You could still go out to party if you want.”

But I had a sneaking suspicion that Uta would spend his time worrying about me if I did that. Especially on a holiday night after dark. It wouldn't be very smart or safe to do that. He worried about me walking from his home to mine when it was after dark and according to him everybody nearby should know to leave me be or they'd have a pissed off Uta to deal with. “I think I’ll stay home and watch the count down with Bjorn.”

♥

As the night turned towards thoughts of sleep I looked forward to bed - Uta’s bed - with all it’s soft amenities and not to mention Uta himself. The ghoul was the first to get up and brush his teeth for bed and I was quick to follow suit. Uta was also the first to lay down in bed. He stayed on the far side of the bed to give me plenty of respectable space. Gentlemanly, but also....  
I bit my lip, looking at the ghoul who laid purposefully far away from my side. I searched for ways to ‘accidentally’ get close. However no such option existed. To get close would be nothing short of an open declaration to cuddle…

But he was my boyfriend? This was like having a boyfriend, wasn’t it? Weren’t we a couple? A very unconventional, dangerous and possibly catastrophic couple. But a couple all the same. We went on dates and admitted they were dates. We cuddled on the couch---but somehow this still felt like it was it’s own mountain to cross over. Quite possibly followed closely by another mountain of getting a kiss. Specifically one that didn’t leave a bruise on my neck.

I slipped up into bed, crawled under the blankets and laid myself down, eyes closed but stayed facing the ghoul while still contemplating how to get closer without making it awkward. And how to bring up the question of how 'official' we were.

♥

I was more than happy to know that today was a weekend and I would have no work to speed off too. The sore muscles would have stopped me from moving anywhere quickly anyway. Heat and Ice. Heat and Ice. Heat and Ice. I repeated this in my mind, trying to pump myself up to get up. When I did manage it I hissed out a small moan of pain. One step closer to my goal, one hundred more to go.   
I showered the night but it would be blissful to get another one to help soothe away aches and pains. That would be my first stop of the morning.

It was surprising to see that the ghoul was able to stay asleep this morning even as I crept out into the hallway and shut the door quietly behind me. I wondered blithely if it meant he was getting used to another person sleeping beside him Or if perhaps it was only because his face was planted firmly into his pillow. He must have rolled in the night at some point because now instead of far on the other side of the bed he had migrated to the middle just a foot or two away from myself and laying flat on his stomach. His hair was left untied and had turned into a terrible mess during the night; flung over the pillow in all directions and badly needing a brush or comb. 

My shower however wasn’t quite as quiet as my retreat from the bedroom. The noise from the water on the room next door must have woken up the ghoul because when I exited the bathroom with a towel draped over my head to dry my hair I could smell the scent of fresh coffee already filling the apartment. “Ai-chan. Coffee is in here for you.” Uta’s calm, gentle voice came from the living room.

I took a inhale of the scent, kept it in my lungs for as long as I could and then let it go. That was the smell of a good morning! Remembering that there was Tylenol in the mirror cabinets I paused before heading to grab my awaiting coffee. Once I had two Tylenol dropped into the palm of my hand I headed to the living room. While the shower had helped quite a lot the extra medicine should help with lingering soreness and allow me to go on with my day without the ghoul noticing my wincing.

I wasn’t too surprised to see the ghoul on the couch. He had coffee in one hand and an eyeball in the other, dragging his tongue along the surface of the staring body part.The tv was already on and playing the local news but Uta separated his eyes from the screen to glance up and shoot me a smile. “Thanks Uta-kun!~ Did you sleep well?” I spotted his hair was still down and cocked my head. I stared; forgetting momentarily I’d taken the hair tie off before showering and it remained on the bathroom counter. “Oh hang on-” I backtracked out of the room quickly only to come back with it in hand moments later. I set it down on the armrest and smiled sheepishly. “-Forgot to give this back after last night.” Uta popped the eyeball into his mouth and swallowed it followed closely by a gulp of coffee. 

My coffee was placed on the coffee table and I happily plucked it up and stirred it before taking the first sip of caffeine for the day. Bitter but comfortably warm. Uta hadn’t forgotten sugar, but he’d put less in than usual. He remembered what I’d said about food and the amount of sugar I was putting into things. I couldn’t explain why to him but I smiled fondly at the dark drink despite not being quite used to the taste yet.

The warm drink hit just the right spot and I let out a long content exhale. The only thing that marred the experience was that it did still come from his coffee machine. I felt like I should have gotten up to make it with my own kettle rather than continue to let the ghoul make it in his machine. Perhaps I could convince him to get rid of it entirely. Would it be disclosing ‘trade secrets’ if I taught the ghoul how to make coffee ‘properly’.   
As I took a few more first sips of the day I watched the ghoul comb his fingers through his hair and throw it up into a messy but workable ponytail.  
I sat down on the couch beside Uta and stayed in quiet contemplation for a while; eyes finding the TV and listening in on the new weather report for today. Sunny and higher than normal temperatures. Tonight would bring a chill that would follow into New Years Eve which was Sunday Night. New Years Eve was reported to continue to be cold and windy with a chance of 3-4 inches of snowfall. New Year's day on the other hand was supposed to be warm and sunny.

Bjorn waited until I had had my coffee before insisting in his own way that we head outside. I changed into some warmer clothes quickly once he set his head on my lap and stared up at me. As I was about to leave I poked my head into the kitchen and let Uta know I was headed out. The ghoul was looking around his own kitchen with an odd expression on his face. “I’ll be back in a bit, probably about an hour. I should really give Bjorn a really long walk. He needs the exercise. Don’t you Bear-Bear!?” I ruffled the fur on the pups head and then shot Uta a funny look. “Something wrong?”

“No.” He turned his head to look around the kitchen. The mugs were on the counter to be cleaned out later, clean dishes were in a drainer. A sugar jar was set out on the counter next to the coffee machine. It was starting to look more ‘real’. Or at least more ‘human’. There were items here or there that a ghoul wouldn’t strictly need. It was silly but my bringing some items into his home, especially the kitchen I was slowly helping Uta’s disguise as a human. Thinking such I giggled, drawing his attention. “You should---” I couldn’t help but to laugh a bit, struggling to speak. “Get a few cook books and set them around for recreation. That would really throw people for a loop if they ever came in here.”

“Cook books?” He glanced back around his kitchen as though looking for a spot for such a thing, there was a look of genuine, almost childish intrigue in the idea. “What sort of cook books?” I shrugged my shoulders, holding onto Bjorn’s leash and readying to bring him out. “I don’t know. I suppose it really doesn't matter. Although---” I tapped my index finger to my lips. “If you did get some for decoration then we should try and find some older ones at an used bookshop. I don’t think anybody buys cookbooks NEW anymore. It’s maybe a bit odd but I think it’s pretty common to have cookbooks that have been in their family for years.” A fond memory unfolded behind my eyes.

The kitchen at home had been a safe haven in my family's household. The cooks would sneak me treats like caramel apple bites and let me help out. Never cooking, but they’d send me fetching items. They’d read out from the cookbook and send the child version of myself running for cups of flour or a teaspoon of cooking oil. “--sometimes they write little alternate instructions on the sides of the page, print out extra recipes that were never in the book to begin with. Or hand scrawled notes on sticky paper.” I explained because as a ghoul I knew this would be a foreign idea that would never have occurred to him. I flushed a little pink, realizing I’d sort of rambled while remembering my own experiences. “It’s--just a bit odd to have new cookbooks with everything on the internet. So if you were aiming for making it look more ‘human’ than...old books would be better.”

“That’s interesting. So human parents would hand that down to their kids?”

I nodded my head, still half caught back in a memory from the past. “It’s kind of nice...I remember a few things the kitchen staff would make at my family's estate. I’ve tried the same food after I left but I think they did something different while cooking it because it never quite tasted the same…” I said, a note of sadness escaped me as I exhaled. Separated from my family there wasn’t a chance in hell I was going back to them again over cookbooks!

“I know you don’t need it for real, but...I suppose I’d like to help you pass more serious scrutiny if there ever was some investigator. Mr. Yoshimura does a really good job at that. Even the back parts of the cafe are very cozy.”

The ghoul seemed amused by my commentary on helping him fit in with human housing standards. “What else do you think would help?” He asked while he leaned back against a counter.“....maybe a plant.” I said while I fidgeted, Bjorn whined at my side and tugged a bit on the leash to head to the door. “More green.” I added, letting myself get tugged towards the door.

I’d be fine on my own today. It’s day time. The sun was up and humans walked the streets mostly unafraid at this time. Even here in this dangerous ward. I had Uta’s phone number to call if I ran into any trouble and I’ve got Bjorn. A mask. Plus that really sharp knife that would cut not only a human but a ghoul if need be.

Uta had to stay and work his day job; masks. There were still many more - an endless stream - of them to make. He had mentioned his desire to finish those last three for the year and had made them his main priority. 

I followed Bjorn wherever he desired to go, occasionally slipping or sliding on ice for nearly forty minutes before finally directing him back towards the Studio. It was cold and ice coated the sidewalks so I was a little more proud than necessary when I got back to the ghouls workplace without falling completely on my ass.

With a red set of ears, nose and cheeks I entered the studio. Instantly I felt warmer and chuckled as Bjorn wagged his tail at hyper speed and began bouncing from paw to paw. “All that walking and you're still full of energy?” I held Bjorn’s leash tightly, tugging it gently as I noticed a new person inside with Uta.

A man turned around and spotted me, nostrils flaring before a confused look settled on his face. “Ai-chan. Hey, welcome back.” Uta said gently, waving me over. The unfamiliar man watched me closely as I crossed the distance between the door and Uta. Bjorn settled down from his excitement and stared at the customer. 

“Have a nice walk?”   
“Yeah. Was more like sliding around town but it was nice anyways! Everything is covered in ice.”

Uta stood and gently guided me to sit down in his chair while he attended to his customer. “I can’t have a mask that complicated before the middle of the month. There’s been a slight back order on a few that I’m trying to sort through. Is that alright?” Uta got the man to sit still on the stand and pulled out measuring tapes to collect the measurements he’d need to create something that fit him perfectly. 

“That’s fine.” The customer's eyes found my own and stared uncomprehendingly at me, seated in Uta’s chair. The expression turned completely aghast as Uta plucked up a bowl of eyes and popped one into his mouth. He held out the bowl to the shocked patron. “Want one?” 

“No--I...she--!?”

“Ai-chan? She’s fine.” I put on my most friendly smile and waved a hand. “Sorry. I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Aika.”

“She’s my girlfriend.” Uta added with so little hesitation that it made my stomach and heart do synchronized flips. The only thing that ruined the moment for me was the way the customer's upper lip twisted in a flash of disgust. Uta either didn’t see it or pretended not to notice.  
“...did you want the mask in black or brown leather?’ Uta asked without a single pause for breath. “I think brown would look nice for it…brown with silver buckles for the straps. How’s that sound?”

The customer was still shaken, looking from the dog to the human to the studio’s owner with a clear mix of bewilderment, surprise and a tiny amount of resentment. He just nodded when Uta asked him his preference and offered ideas. The nod was not exactly an answer, but it seemed to be deemed enough of one for the mask maker to continue his interrogation.

♥

“How’s the other masks been going?” I questioned the ghoul who had settled back into working after the customer had left the store. My heart had finally stopped beating a mile a minute and doing flips in my chest both due to the way the customers stare had made me feel a bit uneasy and the way Uta had called me his girlfriend. He glanced up briefly and acknowledged me with a tiny smile. “They’re coming together more quickly than I thought.” Uta muttered, almost to himself as he answered my question. He was quick to turn back to his work; his concentration restored. I pulled a different chair over to sit nearby and watched him for a little while before my stomach started to growl. Funny enough it was the ghoul in the room who seemed more bothered by it than me. He turned away from his work the third time my stomach howled for food and waved me away to get something to eat. 

Much of the day passed in either comfortable companionable silence or once in a while ideas for the New Year and the Festival for Little New Year passing back and forth between us. For me the idea of a festival held the comforts of food such as Taiyaki and Ujikintoki as well as the pretty lights and festival games. For him it would not hold the same appeal. Particularly not the food.  
What he did seem most interested in was my proposal to let him pick out a Kimono for me to wear. He’d even shown interest or at least seemed amused at my desire to see him in a similar outfit. I had told him: “You have to wear something similar. It’s only fair!” And to my infinite surprise he had agreed.

After quite a while Uta finally allowed me to convince him to set his work down and take a break. It had me concerned that the ghoul hadn’t stopped to eat anything all day apart from a bowl of...three...or maybe four eyes total. No sooner had he placed down the tools of his trade was he digging for something from under his desk. He pulled out a cardboard box and held it out to me with an expectant expression.

I took it hesitantly from his hands and shot him a curious glance. “You know I stopped you so you’d get some food, right?” The tape on the top was already broken so it was easy to flip open the top and spot what was inside. It was a strange looking device but after studying it and cheating a bit to see the label I recognized it more easily. The needle-like pen on the end and the ink in the box gave it away. “Oh! You had said you had gotten a tattoo gun!” I looked up from the device with an excited grin. “As soon as that bruise on your arm goes I can start to work on the tattoo…so long as you still want it.” He peered at my upper arm and frowned at the mark there. My excitement was replaced with a sheepish smile as I realized that it was impossible to start work on it the way I was now. Apart from hurting quite a bit more I wasn’t aware what sort of effect a bruise might have on a tattoo. 

“Whoops…” I muttered, realizing that my training had not only hurt myself but accidentally messed up the ‘canvas’ and delayed Uta’s ‘date’ idea. “I’ll try not to get hit on that side again.”

“I think that Renji-kun intends for you to try to avoid getting hit at all.” Uta spoke gently, taking the device back and stowing it away for safekeeping under his desk. “Are you sure you don’t want to see the sketch? It is permanent.”

“No. I don’t need to see it!~” I insisted and then stood up, swaying around the ghoul and leaned gently on the back of his chair. He remained seated without spinning his seat; instead his head tilted backwards to keep his eyes on me. “Anyway, I noticed you like to surprise people...won’t that be more fun?”

“Notice that, did you?”  
“And blindfolds. You seem to like those.” I added, my smile turned into a coy grin. His lips twitched and I thought for the shortest moment that I’d spotted a faint pink tint to his cheeks before I blinked and it was gone. I couldn't be completely sure if it had ever really been there. “It helps surprise people if they can’t see it coming.”

“Is that how it works?” I raised my hands, slowly placing them over his eyes so his vision was obscured. I felt him blink under the confines of my palms before he made an inquisitive hum in the back of his throat. He did not, however, make a single move to remove the obstruction and free his vision. Before I could chicken out I leaned over and pressed my lips against his cheek. 

It was a chaste kiss but a kiss all the same even if it wasn’t under any particularly ‘romantic’ circumstances. There had been other chances with pretty lights and holiday flare, but nothing had grabbed me and told me to DO it while I still held uncertainties in my head. Uta raised a hand and pulled one of my hands out of the way by the wrist and I let the other one fall away. “Surprised?” I asked; my stomach butterflies had come to life and migrated behind my ribcage. His expression was unreadable, unpredictable and unknown to me.

He turned his chair around, keeping hold on my wrist as he did so. He seemed to be studying me with the black and red lenses of his eyes. “S-sorry...should I have not surprised you with that?” I muttered anxiously just above a whisper. It was silly, it wasn’t even on the lips and with how close we had been recently it shouldn’t be that outlandish to kiss him on the cheek but for those moments afterward I was unsure if I’d accidentally overstepped. I had made up my mind and become fairly certain what I wanted - but I didn’t know if he thought exactly the same.

I wasn’t left to wonder for long though.

Uta pulled gently on the wrist he still held in his grip and got me closer, leaning upwards until our faces were just a few inches away. “You surprised me...Unfortunately I can’t return the favor…” I was relieved to see that he wasn’t upset with me. He lingered close, noses nearly touching without a kiss. He leaned back into his chair and let go of my arm; a sigh leaving his lips. I was relieved to see emotion subtly return to his face in the form of an upturned smirk.  
“You surprised me Ai-chan. Unfortunately I doubt you’d want a kiss back…”

He leaned back his head and laughed as my expression morphed into one of confusion. Clearly he found something very funny while I was lost on why I’d not want a kiss when I thought I was being fairly transparent. Maybe a kiss on the cheek wasn’t a strong enough message at all.

“I’ve been snacking....” He explained as if the answer should have been completely obvious. “Wouldn’t you be uncomfortable kissing a ghoul who’s been eating recently…?” He raised a single thin eyebrow, the grin on his face stretched a bit more to show off a few teeth. That made my mouth drop open a bit when the realization hit me. That made sense...and while I hadn’t even given it a thought before, now that he brought it up I knew he was completely correct. I liked to think I was accepting of Uta’s diet, but that didn’t mean I would be okay with that.

"I forgot…" I managed to mutter under my breath and pursed my lips indignantly when the ghoul broke out into hearty laughter.

♥

I curled up in bed, listening to Uta as he got his own shower before bed. My eyes closed as I listened to the sound of the shower, Bjorn’s snoring, the drone of the city. My eyelids fluttered open when I heard the water shut off with a squeal and then only the drone of the city and Bjron’s snoring remained.

The door to the bathroom opened and closed, the fan shut off and then the bedroom door opened. There was a small squeak and Uta stuck his head in quickly to peek in. From my point of view I saw the dark silhouette against the light in the hallway and nothing more. “I’m awake…” I murmured quietly, warning me of my wakefulness. The door squeaked again as it opened a bit more. He flipped a light on; shooting me an apologetic smile when he saw me flinch and shove my face down into my pillow to escape.

I couldn’t be too upset with the added light after I got a good look at him. The ghoul was nude from the waist up and his hair was down in wet curtains; that was nothing to complain about at all. I peeked up out of my nest of blankets; squinting up at the tattoos on his chest before he sat down on the edge of the bed with his back to me. Uta began scrubbing a towel over his head and shoulders to dry himself off more thoroughly. 

I perked up, leaning up to sit in bed. The towel for his hair was tossed away, missing the basket and landing in front of it on the floor. He almost let it lay there until he spotted my unamused gaze and narrowed eyes. I silently dared him to leave it there after I’d recently tidied up for him. With the wordless encouragement he got up and picked up the towel, draping it out the dry over the edge of the laundry basket.

A small victory! I grinned; appease and let myself flop back into the soft cover of the bed. Even with my eyes closed I could tell when the lights flicked off followed by a new weight on the bed shifting as Uta climbed in. “Ai-chan…?”

“Hum?”

The weight on the bed shifted a bit more, closer to my resting body. Curiosity had me in it’s grips and I peeked out of one eye with every intention to be funny and stick my tongue out at him. As I peeked I froze in place, seeing the ghoul was leaning over me. I could not see in the dark nearly as well as I assumed he could. “Eyes closed Ai-chan!~” A hand lowered to my eyes and covered them so I’d be blinded further. 

Soft warm flesh obstructed only by a small ring of cool metal pressed gently but deliberately into my cheek. A surprised noise that wasn’t quite a yelp or gasp escaped from me as the ghoul’s warm breath ghosted across my skin. ‘So close!’ I thought as my heart ran like a jackhammer in my chest. Almost!

“I’ll stop if you w---” I leaned up quickly before he could even finish the question and pressed my lips firmly into his. The last few words of his sentence were lost and forgotten muffled into an unintelligible noise in his throat. The blind kiss was clumsy and I was mostly unsure exactly what I was doing. I felt it was some form of luck that I’d even managed to aim correctly and connect lips.

The ghoul leaned further into the kiss. He removed his hand that had been over my eyes and pressed it beside us for support. He tasted very strongly of mint: toothpaste and mouthwash I realized. Wintergreen. I raised my hands and entwined my fingers into his damp hair and tugged gently towards myself. The action got a low--growl or perhaps a groan from the male and the kiss turned to more aggressive. Teeth clamped down gently on my bottom lip but didn’t break the skin.

He broke off, letting go of my lip and releasing my mouth to breathe out in small puffs of hot air. I let my hands slide out of his hair and fall beside my head palms up and smiling up blindly in the dark room. "Surprised?" I asked in a hushed voice, catching my own breath at the same time. 

I raised my hand feeling along his chest until I could place my fingers against his neck to his pulse. It beat against my touch as his heart raced almost as quickly as my own.

"...I brushed my teeth…" The ghoul said in a breathy voice and I laughed at how absurd it sounded after having just kissed. Of course, he had been concerned about how I'd react to locking lips with a ghoul after he'd eaten eyeballs, so now he was focused on letting me know his mouth wasn't 'contaminated' with human flesh and body parts. "I know. You taste like mint…" My face flushed warm in the dark room.

"...mint is the flavor of toothpaste?"   
"Yeah?" I said, a bit confused by the uncertainty in his voice. The male sat up, no longer leaning over my prone body. The change in position allowed me to sit up more fully. "Oh. It tastes bad to us as well. It's not coffee or human. There’s not much else that tastes the same."

"Oh well…it's...kind of fresh and cold flavored. You need coffee flavored toothpaste." I grinned, and nudged his shoulder lightly. "I wouldn't mind that flavor either if that were the case."

"Now you have opinions on my toothpaste?"

"I would be willing to try it as well if mint tastes bad. I hadn’t even thought about that. It’s not food so---There’s no guarantee that it would taste better though! I jokingly bought bacon toothpaste in the past and it was terrible.."

"If you did that then you would start to taste as good as-" Another quick peck from the ghoul that I greedily tried to return. Too soon he pulled away. "- you smell. That's a dangerous line for a human to cross."   
"Eating your girlfriend wouldn’t be very nice…" I argued gently, laying down and stretching out. I made an effort to roll further towards his side of the bed. The ghoul followed suit, he shifted his weight to lay down next to me; close enough I could feel his body heat but still not touching. “No. I suppose it wouldn’t be…” The ghoul said gently, easing into a comfortable spot to sleep. “I suppose that you’re safe tonight.” He said it playfully enough that I understood without his expression to know he was joking. Uta had always told me he wasn’t going to hurt me.

I wasn’t sure about ‘My’ ghoul but I was lulled easily into a pleasant dream by the late hour and close quarter comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note:  
> Well that was...pretty long I think. Anyway! THE CHAPTER WHERE AIKA DECIDES TO BE BRAVE BRAVE! (and it pays off!)  
> I’m so awkward when it comes to romance! ┐(‘～`;)┌ I hope this is fiiiine. I'm suuuure it's fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine. 
> 
> (＊ ☉౪ ⊙｡)ﾉ I can’t wait till we get to people reacting to them being a couple though! (A FR couple!) We all know who's going to be SMUUUUG!~


	35. Chapter 35: New Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this took longer cause I DREW SOMETHING FOR IT!!! ♥ Link for that will be at the bottom of the page! Along with some interesting info I found while writing the chapter! ♥

Chapter 35:

Waking up was like drifting from one very hazy dream into another, clearer but less realistic fantasy. I'd gone from dreaming of a very real life scenario; Uta and myself on the couch watching some movie or TV show until bed. Cozy and warm and comfortably snug with his arm wrapped around my waist. It was a scene copied right from real life events.   
Waking up to the real world seemed like an unreality compared to that.

The first thing I noticed was the immovable object wrapped around my waist, stiff and unyielding but warm. I was also so unbelievably hot; snuggled up close to a bare chest. Of my--- I hesitated on the thought since it was so new; My Boyfriend. Uta. The ghoul was still fast asleep as far as I could tell. His breathing was even and the pulse in his neck - mere inches in front of my nose - was calm. The immovable ‘object’ was actually a surprisingly solid, tattooed arm that he had securely wrapped around me to prevent escape. I’d dared to attempt an ‘flee’’ but he seemed to unconsciously pull me closer and tucked his chin down until it pressed gently on the top of my head. 

I wasn’t going to be headed off anywhere without waking him up first.

My face was heated as I relaxed into my current predicament with little complaint. I pressed my forehead into the ghouls chest and let out a small satisfied sigh. If it was a dream then it was a very nice one I thought idly. I snuggled up to make the best of the situation. At least Uta made for an excellent space heater once again and I would have no fear of freezing while in close proximity.

I stayed still for a great deal of time until it began 100% obvious this wasn’t a fantasy I was dreaming up. Even then I wasn’t too motivated to move. I didn’t have any special place to be apart from making sure Bjorn was cared for and the dog would let us know when he needed caring for. So far he had yet to get up and complain about our lack of breakfast or ‘outside time’; yet so it was likely early.   
However, despite the fact I had no plans I began to remember that Uta did with his friends. They were planning on “Clowning” around for the New Years Eve. I wasn’t exactly excited about being stuck at home on the holiday - but his fun times planned for tonight were pretty much ‘Ghoul Only’ and I didn’t want to ruin it. Not even by simply being a worry in the back of his mind.   
That was all well and good since those plans were for the evening but- since he was going out tonight that didn’t leave much time for his other tasks. Before the group meeting up he had expressed the desire to finish off those final masks before the New Year---so I couldn’t very well allow him to sleep through the day and mess up his own plans.

I began to nudge him, shaking him slowly to wakefulness. 

“Uta?” The smile on my lips spread when I heard a groan escape and felt the arm around me flex around me. “Uuuuuuuutaaaaa!~” I giggled, looking up towards his face and spotted the squint on the ghouls face as he tried his best to ignore my calls for him to wake up.   
“Time to get up!”

Finally I spotted the bright red irises of my ghoul and giggled at the halfway annoyed look he was giving me first thing in the morning. “You’ve got to get up.” I saw his eyebrows scrunch up as though this confused him. “We could just stay here…” He muttered and tried to close his eyes again to give into sleep.

“The masks.” I explained. “You wanted to finish them before the New Year, didn’t you? I think technically you’ve got probably a little less than twelve hours to do that, if you’re planning on going out with your friends...” I pressed my forehead back against his chest, relaxing there as sleepy realization overtook his confused and annoyed expression. I personally would love to stay here like this- but---

He exhaled softly and moved, first releasing my waist from his grip and then pushing himself to sit up. He looming over me and lingering for a long moment, dipping his head down to press his lips gently into my jawline and then into my neck. “Morning...thanks for waking me up…”  
He muttered words gently into my skin as he pressed his lips gently into a few more places trailing up and down my vulnerable throat. Despite the ghoul’s mouth being so ‘dangerously’ close a vital part of my body I was relaxed and trying to plot out how to best get him to stop kissing my neck and instead get him back to---

“Hey!” I yelped, feeling lips turn into teeth on my neck. A quick pinch later and I knew that I’d once again be sporting a new bruise in exactly the same place as the old one. He let me sit up, smiling faintly as I ran my fingers over the new identical mark. “You’re doing that on purpose!” I immediately accused the ghoul. It seemed too planned, especially since it had ended up in the same exact place as before. 

“Don’t I have enough bruises?” I questioned with no small amount of sass; squinting my eyes 'fiercely’ at him. He shrugged his shoulders, and the reason for his sly smile was left unanswered when he began to stretch out. Uta grabbed some clean clothes and a towel before heading out of the room.

The heat on the bed was slowly leaching away and without the ghoul in it staying here seemed much lower on my lists of desires. Coffee and some pain killers rose up to number one with Bjorn’s walk and a need for fresh air close behind. 

Unfortunately Uta’s breakfast would also end my immediate desire to kiss the ghoul anymore this morning. Sad, but true.

The first hour of my day was beginning to look just as my weekends always had pre-Uta. Long morning walks into early afternoon were the best even if the cold temperatures left my nose and ears red and had me stuffing my hands into my pockets to avoid the chill. 

But unlike back just a few months prior, I had someplace to be and someone who expected me to return safely. That alone was enough to leave me with a comfortably warm feeling in my chest and some extra pep in my step as we made it back to the street where we both lived.

“Uta!~” I mused out in a sing-song voice as I entered the building. He was where I expected; in front his desk with his face already well and truly buried into his work. He didn’t look up as I called out to him and walked over to seat myself nearby but he did softly speak: “Welcome back.”

He only looked up once in a while, giving me a curious and thoughtful stare. “You don’t have to watch me work if you don’t want to. I hadn’t thought about how long this would take before I invited you for the entire weekend. Then right after this it’s the New Year...”

“I like to see you work on your masks Uta. Really. I’m not joking.” I added when seeing a skeptical look race across his face. “I really enjoy seeing you pull together these masks, and your ideas that are sparked by who the person was--It’s interesting. And...honestly your shop is kind of comfortable.” I supposed if I looked at it from a stranger's eyes I might have seen the ominousness of the space. Not to mention just how dim the light was outside the ring of light Uta kept at his desk. We faced staring from every angle, a whole audience of masks. However for me it was comfortable and felt safer now than home ever did. It helped that the inhabitant was a ghoul who was rather defensive of me.

“I feel safe. And not every moment needs to be exciting.”

He turned his gaze back to his work, satisfied with my answer. He seemed to slightly shifting his posture so that I could see better.

♥️ 

Sewing on buckles and straps was not the most interesting part of Uta’s work for sure, but I stepped up and pitched in to help as that work became necessary. Uta wasn’t concerned with me screwing up the work, on the other hand he did seem slightly concerned with time when the afternoon hours started to grow late. By 4:30 pm the man was fidgeting in his seat. “Are you supposed to meet them soon? These are almost done.” I pulled on the needle I was wielding through another pre punched hole and studied the stitching closely. It was tedious work and far from difficult. “This one here will only take another ten or so minutes. I know how to do it. You can go get ready.”

He looked reluctant to set his work down unfinished to allow someone else to complete it; but he was also being tugged in another direction. If I had to guess I’d say that his friends must be waiting on him or would be soon. “Go. Get ready.” I urged the ghoul again, giving him a smile that I hoped was reassuring. Finally he pulled a thread through once more and knotted it off - the mask in his hands was completed. That left only the one in my hand, and the last was sitting on his desktop.

“Are you sure?”

“I won’t screw it up, if that’s what you mean!” I grinned, joking around before I nudged his arm with my elbow. “Go. Have fun.”

Uta frowned, eyes searching my face for something before his shoulders relaxed a bit and he relented and started up the stairs to his apartment. I continued my work on the final stitching of the buckles and was holding my work up in front of me looking at it closely when footsteps worked themselves back down the stairs fairly quickly. Louder than normal. I peeked and saw that Uta had dressed up a bit nicer tonight. Long sleeve dark coat, straight legged dark pants and a mask was in his hands. Tonight it was a pure white bird-like beak with holes around the faceplate. His tattoos were all covered and I noticed that some of his piercings had been taken out as well. The louder dissent down the stairs was due to his dress shoes.

“Well that’s a different look. Can’t say that’s what I expected for ‘Clowning around’.” I said aloud while I studied his outfit of choice. It wasn’t far off from the outfit he’d worn out on our date but I did take notice that he was hiding much more of himself tonight then when he was out with me. Particularly by taking out his piercings and even going as far as hiding his neck tattoo. I placed down the finished mask on his desk next to the other finished product and stood up to meet him halfway across the room.  
"Can't have anybody recognizing me." He replied, smoothing out his sleeves.

"I would still recognize you. I think..." I grinned and gently reached for the strange bird-like mask. He let me pull it from his hands and watched me examine it. "You're using a different mask tonight…"

"I have a few different ones to use." I nodded my head. This one would be hard to carry around inconspicuously. Tonight his Clowning around was all meant to be anonymous from the public but quite possibly very visible. That left a nasty taste in my mouth and I felt concerned. The likelihood of him running into CCG agents was higher if he was being so out in the open.  
I held the mask out to return it to him. “Stay safe…I’ll be heading home after I finish stitching that one there.” I jerked my thumb at the last mask of the year. His mouth dropped open to say something but I cut him off. “I’ll message you when I’m home. So don’t worry too much.”

Uta’s mouth shut with something of a pout and I laughed. “I promise. Go on. You’re friends are waiting on you aren't they? Roma doesn't seem like she’d be one to wait around on someone else.”

♥

I watched from the front door until he left up onto a rooftop and disappeared from my line of sight. At this point I closed the shop door and locked it, just in case while I went back to work. It took close to another hour and my stomach was growling for a meal but it was done and it meant that we had done it. All of Uta’s masks had been done before the New Year!

“Come on Bjorn. Time to head home.”

I collected my clothes to repack them into my bag along with Bjron’s toys and his bowls. With everything packed up my smile was a little melancholy. What a strange feeling to have...  
With my dog at my side I locked up Uta’s shop, dropping the extra set of keys on the counter inside before shutting the door behind me. Locked out until Uta returned. “Time to go home.”

The trip was short and calm. No danger to be seen or heard. People around the city were celebrating, even those in this very ward. A few streets down I could hear music and laughing. True to my word I shot the ghoul a quick notice that I was home safe and then dropped myself onto my bed/couch. I looked around the small area with dull eyes. Small fridge, bare counter, a dresser with only skulls resting on top. There was no artwork on the walls or any real decorations. It was painfully plain after spending so much time in Uta’s home over the weekend. 

What would someone from outside see when they looked at this room? Would they think this was the home of someone ready to uproot their lives and leave at any given moment. “...Uta does a better job at having his house look ‘human’...” I muttered to Bjorn, patting his head when he came to rest next to me.

I took out my phone and began my New Years night by browsing videos and catching up on some tv shows I was halfway through.

♥

It was about seven minutes before the New Year when I heard a knock at the door. I glanced up from the Live Stream of the Zojo-ji Temple New Year's Countdown which was being celebrated under Tokyo Tower. I squinted my eyes suspiciously as Bjron crouched and stared at the door. 

I placed down my phone with the live stream still running and stood up, grabbing my knife in hand before moving to stare out of the peephole. At first I saw nothing until a light brown hair bobbed into view as it’s owner jumped up. A silly half clown mask was proudly being displayed on the person's face with a star over one and a big blue nose. “If she is home. Why isn’t she answering her door!?” The girl's tone sounded accusing, and familiar. 

From the edge of my holes view I saw another masked figure. Another clown mask. This man was tall with a painted red smile and a teardrop under one eye. “Now, don’t say that. I can smell her clearly…”  
“It’s her house of course you do!” 

I bit my lip, unsure what to do. These were Uta’s friends no doubt about it and I had a good idea who they were. Roma clearly was the short one and the tall lanky male was Nico. The little smiley face pin on his scarf gave him away. But I wasn’t about to open the door to anybody.

“Ai-chan...you there?” A gentle knock followed Uta’s masked face finally stepped up in front of the door and he peeked into the hole. I left out a breath and finally unlocked the door, opening it about three inches to peek out. “You guys scared me.” I said gently, letting out a long breath something I hadn’t realized I’d been holding.  
“I told you guys she was going to be here.” I heard another feminine voice float over from outside of my peepholes vision range. “Hey I---” I paused, thinking better about calling Itori’s name. They were all masked for a reason. “Hey. Why are you all...here?” I lifted a brow at Uta and pursed my lips. “I thought you had New Years plans---”  
“--Shit! New Years.” I let the door swing further open as I dove back into my little apartment to grab my phone up. The knife in my hands clattered to the countertop as I tossed it away and I exhaled in relief. A minute and thirty seconds to go; I hadn’t missed it. I spotted four masked ghouls peering around the door to look at me curiously.

“I was watching a live stream of the countdown!”  
“Told you so.” Itori grinned under her mask in a very ‘I told you so, I won this bet’.  
“He was worried maybe you’d change your mind and go out.” Itori explained, a self satisfied smirk still on her face.

“I’d have said something if that were true…” I pouted and raised my eyebrow at them all. “Are you all going to stand there like that in the alleyway or come in. If someone sees you they’re gonna be suspicious. You almost made me miss this…”  
I looked back down to the counter and spotted forty-five seconds to go.

Uta was the first to let himself in since he was used to my small quarters, next Nico and Roma followed and Itori made up the rear, closing the door behind her. Poor Bjorn had no idea what to make of all the ghouls stuffed into the apartment like sardines. It really wasn’t meant for five people and a large dog. Uta sat himself down next to me on the couch and leaned close to see the stream over my shoulder. His mask lay in his lap now as he watched the last seconds of the last year tik down to nothing. 

“10---9---8---7----”

I glanced up to see that Nico was watching the count down with us and Roma was looking at my pile of skulls. Itori seemed to be watching the little ghoul and looking around with dissatisfaction at my home. “---3----2----” I was distracted quickly as fingers traced my jawbone and pulled my head around to face my ghoul. He leaned in and pressed his lips gently against my mouth and I returned the kiss. Chilling mint flavor was on his breath once again. “---1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!” The phone’s speakers exploded with the cheers from the crowd and the fireworks.

“Uuugh. Gross.” I heard from Roma and I smirked into the kiss and pressed more fervently into the contact which paid off with a low groan from the ghoul. “Okay! Enough of that! She’s fine. Can we go!?”

I pulled back from the kiss and flushed pink as I caught my breath. I spotted Itori’s grin under her mask and the way Nico stood there looking like he was going to start glowing. Roma on the other hand remained scowling with storm clouds almost visible around her. “Yeah. We can go. Just needed to check on something.” Uta replied, standing and picking up his mask to place it over his face again.

“Uta…” I said sharply before he and his friends could all file out. He turned and I saw his eyes were wide under the mask. “I’m not going anywhere.” I said firmly, adding: “I’ll be here when you get back, so don’t be too late in the morning.”

♥

I sat myself back down on my futon and touched my lips gently. That was a nice start to a new year. Bjorn settled down close to me and grumbled his complaints but I couldn’t help but to smile fondly and give him some extra head scratches to reward how far he’d come. At least he was accepting ghouls that I seemed alright with now; so far. He didn’t even bite Roma who I’d admit I could have gone without seeing tonight. 

The celebrations continued on the livestream and I watched for a little while. As much as I did really wish to be out doing something fun at a bar or in the streets to watch fireworks I did not wish to worry Uta. Especially when I promised I’d be here in the morning and alive.   
Plus, I suppose with knowing so many ghouls now I realized just how dangerous going out alone like that could be. A few months ago they were a curiosity and in my mind; a minor threat.

I’d been naive before to think that nothing could ever happen to me because I had a big dog near me, or that there weren't that many ghouls out there. Admittedly, I’d even thought of the CCG in a better light and believed they had ‘control’ of the ‘ghoul situation’.  
But that simply wasn’t true...none of it.  
It was foolish to think nothing could happen to me, especially in this area. Regardless of Bjorn although bless his heart I knew he would try. There were far more ghouls than I’d ever considered . And as for the CCG---

Well, I’d been completely wrong about them as well. For one: they were not hunting down ‘monsters’. I pursed my lips and stopped petting Bjorn’s head in favor of turning off the livestream and standing up. “Dinner Bear-Bear?” I asked affectionately to the hulking dog who stopped his quiet complaints to start getting excited about food.

♥  
I was awoken by another knocking on my door and squinted up at my ceiling. I didn’t answer the door, but of course Bjorn jumped up to stare at the door intently again. It felt like it must be very early in the morning, pre-dawn perhaps. Even my hair was still slightly damp from when I decided to climb into the shower late at night. Maybe I could just ignore the visitor and they’d go away. It was far too early...

Some time elapsed before I heard yet another knock.   
I stood up, crossing the room quietly and grabbed up my knife from the counter. Standing on my toes again I peeked through the hole and almost screeched; instead I choked on a gasp. A dark black and red eye took up the entire view of the peep-hole.

The face it belonged to came into view a few moments later when the person backed up. I unlocked the door and flung it open quickly in one fluid motion. “You just about gave me a heart attack!” The ghoul blinked and cocked his head to one side like he was innocent of such a thing. I glanced around Uta and up at the sky briefly. It was really early like I’d thought. The sky was still entirely dark and there were stars still lingering in the sky. Regardless there was still the sound of celebrating in the ward.

“There’s still an hour or two before sunrise. It’s good luck to see the first sunrise…” He held a small flat box in his hands and extended it out to me. “I got you this. For the shrine.”

“You said I could pick something…” He added while I looked at the box blankly.   
“Oh?” A few moments passed and then it struck me. “OH!” I sputtered once I understood what must be in the box. For the shrine visit he had picked up -from god knows where- a Kimono for me to wear at the shrine! Uta let himself in and moved across the room to seat himself down on my futon to relax like it was his own house. I snorted suddenly imagining what face Roma must have made. “Roma must have pitched a fit about getting a kimono while you guys were out.”

“She...wasn’t happy.” He said, a small frown found its way onto his face. Uta didn’t look at me, only shrugging his shoulders and staring at Bjorn.  
“...because I’m human?” I continued knowing the answer fully well. “I think that if I were a ghoul then she’d have absolutely no complaints. She might even have invited me along...”

“I suppose I shouldn’t have thought you wouldn’t notice. It is pretty apparent.” He muttered, a bit sullen after I pointed it out. “Sorry Ai-chan.”  
I shook my head gently. “It’s okay Uta. If she wants to hate me that’s fine I guess. ‘So long as she’s got no plans on attacking me.” I smiled when he turned his head to look at me with wide eyes. “Don’t look so shocked!” I laughed softly and continued unhindered. “I was thinking about it and came to the realization that people who are either happy for us, or those who are accepting of it would be in the minority. Even that guy in your shop seemed...put out when you said I was your girlfriend. I think the only reason he didn’t say anything there and then was because...well maybe you're more threatening to them? I don’t see it but---” I looked at the man sprawled out on my couch-bed and couldn’t help but smile.

“--But at least we have friends who are going to be happy for us! Not a single human would take my side of things, and I’d never risk telling anybody. Well...I guess except Kimi…” I paused to think of that. Even Kimi was happier now that Nishiki was feeding off suiside victims rather than murdering. Plus, the boss man probably switched to a similar diet with his wife...

“I guess with other humans I could point out that you're my boyfriend if that makes you happy, but honestly; who would I tell?” I smiled as he tried to come up with an answer and saw there wasn’t one. “---Have you seen any of my old co-workers showing up to check on me? Any visitors I haven't spotted hiding in the corners of my bedroom? All my real friends are ghouls I met after I met you! And my family is completely out of the question. They’d hate you regardless. No offence! They’d take one look at you and try to drag me away kicking and screaming!” I laughed softly at the visual; not that I’d ever allow it.

“You don’t like them though...so none taken.”

“Maybe I should tell Amon!” I grinned expecting the ghoul to perhaps scowl when hearing about the Dove, but instead the ghoul smirked. “I don’t think that he’d be too surprised Ai-chan. By all means, go tell him.” It was my turn to stare at him with wide eyes and wonder what was going on. Uta put his elbows on his knees and rested his chin in his palms.“You remember how he looked at us when he caught us out in public, fabric shopping? I think he assumed it back then. My fault.”  
And by the looks of that smirk it didn’t seem like he regretted the miscommunication at all. “Well that’s unfortunate. I’d think the last people you’d want thinking we were dating would have been a Dove. Afterall, what if my RC numbers ever get above the ‘human’ limit and they get into my face about it? And if they’ve got more extensive questioning and testing for those close to me?”

“Well we’ve got ways to fake tests...” He tilted his head curiously. “But I think you’d have bigger problems than Amon bothering you if you went above ‘human’ Rc limits. After all you wouldn’t be human anymore.”

“I w-well that’s...well t-that or I’d be stuck in a hospital in acoma. Might as well be dead then.” I muttered thinking about getting stuck with that RC sickness. I hadn’t heard of many people suddenly turning into ghouls so it was very possible I’d just end up sick.

“Well...hopefully it doesn't come to that...”

“...You don’t know why they’re so high do you? You’re not secretly a cannibal are you?” Uta asked, breaking me out of my thought process. I almost choked and then started laughing hard enough for my stomach to hurt. “Seriously Uta!? I’d think you’d know that by now if I was.”

He shrugged his shoulders and smiled, then pointed at the box still in my hands.  
“Are you going to open that?”   
“Maaaaaaaaybe. Should I be scared I gave you control over my wardrobe for the day?”

I took a seat next to him and finally popped open the lid on the flat box. Inside immediately I saw the silky fine material. It looked to be mostly white with black trim and embroidered black and red flowers. Spider lilies. It was...beautiful. It wasn’t what I’d have picked out for myself. I’d have picked something that would have stood out less, strictly pretty and traditional but I could see why Uta had chosen it. It was absolutely stunning.

Uta shifted his body weight beside me, moving out of his slump and tried to get a better look at my face as I studied the Kimono. “Uta this is...it’s so pretty!” I said hoping to make any worry he might feel about whether I liked it or not completely vanish. “I...I don’t have the words.”

“You like it then.” Uta smiled, pleased that he had my approval for the Kimono. I continued to run my fingers over the clothing a few more times. We would have to get around fairly quickly if we were going to go see the sunrise and then head to the shrine.

“Should I come back in….” He checked the time quickly. “---30 minutes?” He leaned forward like he was going to press his lips against my cheek quickly but a short distance away he stopped, thought better of it and pulled away. “I’ll come back.”

“Oh. Okay.” I said breathlessly and watched him stand up and walk to the door, dipping swiftly on his way to give Bjorn a pat on his head. Uta’s mask found it’s way back on his face before he swept out the door and towards his home. I was left running my fingers over the beautiful Kimono he’d found for me and marveling over it.

I finally pulled it up out of the box and started to dress myself in the material. When I saw myself in my mirror I was no less enamored seeing the full view of it.  
My phone buzzed once and I took a quick glance at it. Uta.

Uta: Bring your mask with you. And your knife.  
Aika: Ofc! 

Hair….hair. What do I do with my hair!? I combed it out thoroughly and then put it up with a tie that matched the obijime around my waist. Carefully I pulled my bangs into specific placements until I thought that it was an acceptable mess; cute in it’s disarray. I continued with makeup to match the kimono and pretty flowers until I saw it all come together.

I glanced at Bjorn and grinned as he cocked his head up at me and whined. “I’ll see if Uta will walk with me for a little while before we head out so you can stretch your legs before we go.” I reached, patting his head and scratching under his chin. “I don’t think you’d like the crowd at the shine much.”

I sent Uta a message letting him know that I was done getting around.  
A few minutes later I heard a knock on my door and peeked out, spotting the ghoul’s face. At first I only peeked out just a small part of my face through a crack of the doorway. From my vantage point I could immediately see he’d also dressed up in a very similar outfit to my own. We would be fairly obviously matching.

His outfit was fairly identical with a few exceptions. He wore extra eye protection to hide his kakugan and whereas my outfit was light, his was dark. He lowered the sunglasses down his nose until I could see his eyes. They wandered what little was showing on my face before settling upon my eyes. “You’re nervous.”  
I pouted and then pushed open the door and stepped back to let him in. Despite my previous confidence I still felt my heart sputter and heat raise to my cheeks as I did a turn around. “Maybe a little bit. I haven't worn one of these in years. So…how does it look?”

I had to swallow my heart back down when I spotted the ghoul’s expression. He looked surprised even though he’d been the one to pick out the dressing. With eyes wide and his jaw slightly hanging open he blatantly stared. “Uta-kun?”

He snapped out of it nearly instantly at the sound of his name. “Good..” He reached and gently cupped the side of my face. “...and you did your makeup to match.” He dropped his hand to my neck and gently moved the neck of the kimono to the side to peek at the bruise he’d so kindly renewed on my neck.

I softly smacked his hand away and mustered up an exasperated sigh. In reality it was only a joke. “If you do this again and don’t tell me why I’m going to start thinking it means you actually want to eat me or something.” Uta frowned gently, holding his hand away in almost an affronted gesture. “That’s not true. I’ve told you before you smell delicious but I don’t want to eat you...”

“I know. I know. It was kind of a joke. But---” I stuck my tongue out. “If you keep doing it I’m going to bite back!” Sadly any mark I could make would likely just fade away fairly quickly. Regardless I saw the ghouls expression lighten up, followed closely by a smirk. 

“You can try.” Uta chuckled softly, his eyes drifted away from me and down to Bjorn who stood by, wagging his tail a million miles and hour.  
“Well I will!” I said in a huff. I noticed the pup looking between us expectantly. “Oh, I almost forgot. Before we go I need to take him out for a five or ten minute walk. With all the people at the shrine I don’t think a dog as big as him coming would be a good idea. But it’s dark out and---”

“I’ll walk with you. Come on.”

♥

It didn’t take a long time outside to realize that this outfit of choice wasn’t particularly warm. The kimono itself thankfully was fairly well insulated and padded for the colder temperatures but my ankles and feet already started to feel fairly numb. Uta noticed as I started to shift from one foot to the other to avoid setting my feet down on the cold ground for what little that helped.  
“Ai-chan, are you going to be alright walking?”

“Yeah. I’ll be okay.” I muttered, silently hoping that it would be a little warmer after the sun came up. Thankfully the Hanazono shrine wasn’t too far, located here in Shinjuku (The 4th Ward). The walk was similar to the walk to the station that I had to take every day for work because it was very close to the station.

Bjorn wasn’t happy to be left behind but the treats I’d left behind had distracted him from our departure and I knew that he would be preoccupied for some time getting peanut butter out of his kong toy.

I forgot about my cold feet when we entered the Shrine area. It was a small sanctuary in a bustling part of the ward. Surrounded by newer buildings we entered under an old Torii gate, skirting to the side to avoid the center of the gateway. There was a small layer of frost making everything glitter almost magically as I stared around at all the people collecting here for the New Year's Traditions. As I looked around I saw the usual things, little shops selling some trinkets or hand crafted items and the line of people trying to make their way to make an offering and pray for good luck in the New Year.

We watched the sunrise over Tokyo for the first time in the New Year and I hoped; praying silently as we waited our turn that the happiness I’d been feeling for the last couple months would continue on through the months to come. I glanced over at my companion, my boyfriend, a ghoul and smiled fondly.  
I’d be more than happy with more of this.

When It came to our turn I stepped up, tossed in my coins and rang the bell and bowed and clapped my hands twice and stood in a moment of silence.  
‘Please let my friends all stay safe and healthy and please let me keep the happiness I’ve found…’ I thought with my head bent. ‘Please.’  
I bowed my head once more and moved aside for the next people, walked with me as we descended out of the Honden and back towards the crowded little shops.   
“Come on, let's look around since we’re here!” I gently tugged on his sleeve and pulled him towards the shops. 

♥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THING I DREW:   
> https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/1f605a77-997d-4ef4-99b3-3e515128d971/de4c4t3-ec0f0313-7cf6-4990-8568-9db03381d430.png?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOiIsImlzcyI6InVybjphcHA6Iiwib2JqIjpbW3sicGF0aCI6IlwvZlwvMWY2MDVhNzctOTk3ZC00ZWY0LTk5YjMtM2U1MTUxMjhkOTcxXC9kZTRjNHQzLWVjMGYwMzEzLTdjZjYtNDk5MC04NTY4LTlkYjAzMzgxZDQzMC5wbmcifV1dLCJhdWQiOlsidXJuOnNlcnZpY2U6ZmlsZS5kb3dubG9hZCJdfQ.C0-sMDNrsNjd5Pl5N3mq2CnrTdvclm4j4NJGQlj8brI
> 
> Interesting Info I looked while writing this.
> 
> Hanazono Shrine (花園神社) is the best place in Shinjuku for Hatsumode. This shrine is said to be the spiritual guardian of the local area. This shrine also has a deep relationship with entertainment, and a lot of celebrities come to pray at this shrine. Every New Year season, this shrine is very popular for entertainment related staff or managers who are making the wish for business prosperity. In addition, Shinjuku has plenty of restaurants and stores open even on the 1st day of new year, so you can enjoy the shopping and lunch after your Hatsumode.
> 
> Hatsumode (初詣) is one of the most important traditional annual events in Japan. It literally means "the first (hatsu) shrine visit (mode)", so basically hatsumode is to visit a shrine (or temple) to pray for good luck for the new year


	36. Chapter 36: New Years Shine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NEW YEARS AT A JAPANESE SHRINE! (dosn't that just sound really nice?!)

Chapter 36: 

Uta was slow to follow me around and often tailed quite a ways behind me as I went from stall to stall. I got the feeling that he was grinning behind my back as I searched around among the delightful holiday items. I was happy to partake from the little food vendors and buy some trinkets for the people I work with. I turned around and grinned with a pair of small bags hanging from each of my outstretched arms. “Sorry Uta! I know I didn't mention shopping ahead of time but I got caught up in finding something for everyone... I think I’m done for now.” I held up a little keychain I found most recently and cocked my head to the side. “Do you think she’ll like it?”

“Hum? Who do you mean?” He caught up and leaned down to peer at it curiously; even lowering his sunglasses a little to get a better look at the item.

“Touka.” I wiggled a little rabbit keychain and smiled fondly at the cute figure.  
“Have you seen her mask before?” Uta asked. The question seemed fairly off topic and out of the blue but despite that I entertained it anyway. I furrowed my brow up as I tried to remember, but nothing came to mind. For the most part wearing a mask hadn’t been a problem while at the cafe. It wasn’t something she brought out in public and all of the Ankeiku ghouls seemed to avoid things that would require hiding like that. I shook my head, a definite no. 

“It’s a rabbit mask. I made it. Of course. She’s got that nickname from the Doves as well…”  
“That’s a bit... ironic.” I cupped the rabbit keychain and stared at it more carefully; trying to pick out just what had attracted me to buy it for her. “I just thought that she’d like it. I didn’t know.”

“It suits her.”

“I thought at first that she really was very---feisty? She wasn’t quiet about not liking me; like Roma I suppose. But I think it stemmed from thinking I’d hurt you guys…” Not because she had an intense dislike of humans. A jealousy - but not hatred.  
“But I guess she’s really softened up quite a bit. I suppose in a silly way it reminded me of a rabbit.” I placed the keychain in the bag with the other items and let out a sigh. “I’m really relieved. I thought she was going to hate me forever. I wonder how she’s doing now that Kaneki is off doing---whatever.” 

Uta was about to say something before his phone went off. He paused and pulled his phone free from a hidden spot in his kimono. I watched as a small frown appeared on his face before he typed something quickly with a thumb. “Doves are out on patrol for the New Year…” He muttered and then shot a quick glance around us. I hadn’t been paying much attention before but now I couldn’t help but to clench my hands closed into tight, nervous fists. My nails dug into my palms.

“I guess they really don’t take much of a holiday…” I sighed, trying not to show my worry too much but I bit the inside of my cheek until it was sore.  
“Should we head back towards home and avoid them?”

He shook his head and closed the distance between us to wrap an arm around my waist. “No, we don’t have too. I’ve got my sunglasses. By the way, Itori’s bar will be open later. Do you want to come with me? I think Renji-kun will be there tonight.”

When I debated it for a little too long he added: “Probably no Roma or Niko though.”  
“Aw, really…? Niko’s nice though. I still owe him a coffee.” I didn’t mind Niko - in fact I found I quite liked him especially after he’d gone and saved my life- but Roma.  
The feeling between us seemed to be mutual.

The ghoul next to me took a deep breath and then exhaled. “Ai-chan...I know you don’t like each other, but try to stay out of her way. She’s strong and I don’t want to have to fight her…I might lose that one.” I looked up, surprise obvious on my face.

“She’s stronger than she looks.” Uta added, seeing my expression.

“She looks 12.” Perhaps a little over exaggeration. But she certainly didn’t look older than Touka or Ken and her childish antics at work had only strengthened the impression. She was annoying, but I couldn’t imagine her being too dangerous.

Uta’s lips twitched slightly as a ghost of a smile threatened to surface. Even being serious he could barely resist smiling at my joke. Barely. “She’s older than she looks as well. I can only guess. Another member is still locked away. He’s an old priest and they knew each other before I knew either of them.”

I pursed my lips and nodded. “Okay...I will.” I was content to let the man guide me through the crowded street of holiday visitors. The shrine was likely their destination as we had to weave around people so many people moving in the opposite direction. “I’ve been avoiding her as much as possible at work. Even though she keeps breaking stuff. That’s Mr. Yoshimura’s problem if he wants to yell at her for it.”

“...other than that I’ve got no reason to be around her unless I’m with you. So I’ll behave.” I promised, my voice came out softly. Solemnly. I didn’t particularly want to ‘behave’ but if even Uta didn’t want to start anything with her, then it was a good enough reason for me to stay clear.

“You said that there’s another person you know who is locked up? I thought a few got out recently?”

“I know of quite a few who were locked away.” His arm squeezed around my middle briefly before relaxing. “But one more of our group still is contained. There’s another couple you haven't met yet. But...it’s probably best you don’t.”

“I’ll explain later.” He said leaning closer and whispering low as I shot him a briefly perplexed look. He pushed his glasses further up his nose, making sure that they were stuck fast in place and his eyes didn’t show to the milling crowds around us.

♥

I could tell the moment he spotted something that bothered him because the muscles wrapped around me twitched, tensing up as if to spring before he slowly relaxed. I followed his gaze and found---

“God damn it. Why’s it always him?” I hissed under my breath.

Amon. Again. Why did this man just up and appear everywhere? I was searching for escapes to walk away, but I was squeezed tighter to Uta’s side. He whispered softly. “He’s already seen us.”

When I glanced up again at the officer I saw Uta was correct and Amon’s eyes were fixed upon us. Although they flicked from myself to the man at my side carefully; Noticing how our outfits matched each other and the way we were almost connected at the hip. Oh well…  
I raised my hand and waved, a bright smile lighting up my face. “Hey Mr. Amon!” My smile almost turned into a genuine grin as the man had the good sense to be embarrassed as I yelled over the crowd to greet him. 

It was shocking how such a serious looking man could suddenly look like such a dork when someone tried to be social with him.

He turned to another suited man nearby and said something quickly before starting to make his way over. We met him halfway and I kept my smiling mask in place. “Didn’t expect to see you here! Don’t they ever give you a day off? Or are they trying to work you dead?”

His attempt at a serious face was broken by a smile as I greeted him in a friendly tone. “I chose to take the holiday actually. Normally I’d be posted elsewhere but Shinjuku was needing an extra person since the officer who normally would be here was---” He stopped, realizing he was saying too much and a flash of emotional pain crossed his face. “They’re out of work.” And they’d likely never be back judging by the expression that briefly crossed his eyes. 

“Oh that’s too bad. Well I hope they feel better!” I grinned, spinning his words like I’d misunderstood them as the officer was ‘sick’ and not ‘murdered by ghouls in the line of duty’. I was sure that was what was actually meant.

Pain flashed across the man's face once again before he hid it well behind a smile. “Yeah. Well…” He glanced towards Uta who stood silently beside me. I recognized his avoidance and change of subject for what it was. “ How are you doing?”

“We’re out for the holiday. Visited the shine. OH! You should totally visit!? Er...I mean when you’re off duty! They are going to let you have sometime today right! You can’t sit here for a full twenty-four hours.”

“I will. Thank you. Did you have fun?” His eyes strayed back to Uta and paused there. “Oh. yeah! Of course. I bought some things for my friends and...my boyfriend came with me today!” I gently leaned into Uta’s grasp and ever so slightly nuzzled my cheek into his shoulder.  
“O-oh that’s nice!” Amon’s eyes left Uta’s face and he had the good sense to look a little flustered when he was caught staring.

“---but we’ve gotta go now. I want to be able to drop some of these gifts off today before it gets too late. I hope you don’t have to work too late!” I waved, pulling gently on the arm of Uta’s sleeve; indicating we could split if we moved right now.

Thankfully the ghoul allowed me to tug him along, away from Amon. The officer waved at me to bid us goodbye. The final thing I could hear from the man was a final comment for good luck in the new year. It wasn’t until we got three or four blocks away that I was able to relax and let the smiling mask fall away. The ghoul leaned closer to my ear and muttered. “You’re hearts beating way too fast Ai-chan. Calm down…”

I didn’t bother to reply to that other than to take a long, deep breath and let it out slowly. Could he really blame me for being protective of him in human society? It was the same as him protecting me among ghouls. “I’m going to see if we can drop by the Café, if that’s alright. I want to wish Mr. Yoshimura, Happy New Year...” I wondered what he’d be doing in the New Year. Normally he might have gone to the Shrine with his wife but with her not around…

Would the other employees go to visit or was he all alone?

I typed up a message and sent it to my boss. My resolve to visit hardened when I considered the old man spending the day all alone.

Aika: ‘Hello Mr. Yoshimura. I hope you’re having a good New Year. I’ve got something to give you, do you think we could stop by to visit!?”

A few minutes later I got a message back from my boss.  
Boss: ‘Thank you Ms. Aika. It’s good to hear from you. You are welcome to visit the shop and get a cup of coffee. Today we’re open only to our friends.’

♥

I convinced Uta to head to the 20th ward with me and grab a cup of coffee. With the promise of the very first fresh cup from Ankeiku for the year, who had the very best coffee; It wasn’t a hard sell. I knocked on the door, and then let myself in. I peeked around the doorway briefly and smiled when I saw two of the other employees sitting at the counter, both drinking their fill in coffee.

“Hey! Koma, Irimi! How are you two doing!?” 

I saw how their eyes looked from my outfit to Uta’s, instantly making the connection that they matched but unlike Amon it didn’t seem quite as flustered by it. Instead they seemed strangely pleased with our current circumstances.

The old man returned to the front from the door behind the counter and smiled warmly to welcome us both. “Ms. Aika. Welcome. And Uta. It’s good to see you again. You should visit more often.” I flushed pink - both from happiness and from the way my coworkers and boss were looking between the two of us.

“Um so---Is Touka coming today? I’ve actually also got her something.” I broke the silence first, walking forward and putting my bags down on the counter to sort them out. I pushed one towards each person and beamed. “I couldn’t help but to pick up stuff for everybody when something jumped out at me! Some things just screamed that they’d be perfect...”  
My coworkers' faces morphed as their expressions changed to surprise and joy. Their thoughts were turned away from why Uta and I were wearing matching outfits - to the gifts now being placed under their noses unexpectedly.

Koma was the first to recover and dig his hand into his bag. When he pulled it back out he held a little series of figures of monkeys in the standard see no evil, hear no evil and speak no evil poses. “You always say you're the ‘Devil Ape’...but you’re so nice. And this seems to fit you.” I muttered my explanation as the man looked over the gift. 

Next Imiri looked into her bag, pulling out for her it was very much like the figure I’d gotten Touka on a keychain, only hers was a small figure of a dog rather than a rabbit. For this I didn’t have much of an explanation. Despite the lack of explanation I saw the woman's mouth curl and I could tell that my gut feeling about it had been correct.

“And last but not least!” I pushed the last bag towards the old man and grinned. “For the best Boss I’ve ever had!~” He placed down his coffee cup and gently took the bag from the counter with a kind smile. “Dear, you didn’t have to get us anything.”

“I wanted to!” I bowed my head. “Truly. Thank you. You’ve helped me out since I’ve met you with no expectation that I’d pay you back for that help. Thank you for giving me a job and for trusting me.” Uta had been the first to trust me, and it had meant that the ghouls at Anteiku really hadn’t had a choice - but they’d taken a human joining them in stride and come to accept me here with an abundance of kindness.  
For that I owed them all the thanks that I could.

Yoshimura pulled the item out of the bag and looked over it carefully. The item I’d picked out was a wooden wind chime where the ends of the chimes had little cosmetic teacups. I wasn’t sure he liked it until he held it up and opened his eyes clearly. He brushed the chimes until they sang. 

“It’s beautiful…I’ll have to put it up on my balcony at home.”

He gently placed it safely back into the bag and placed it aside. “I’ll get you two some coffee.”

I moved to sit down, glancing toward Uta with a smile and patting the seat; an invitation that he took immediately with little to no hesitation. The manager began to make our coffee’s; one with cream and sugar and the other plain black. I Inhaled the bitter sweet scent and let out a content sigh. 

For a while we all took the moment to sit in quiet contemplation before Koma, surprisingly, was the first one to speak up. “So should we celebrate?” He grinned while his eyes flickered from myself and Uta. “A little toast to Aika and Uta?” He held up his mug of coffee as though it was a class of fine wine and we were at a dinner party.

“I guessed it a while ago!”  
“You did not!” Irimi piped up, narrowing her eyes at the man seated next to her. “You were saying just the other day that they were just friends.”

“Well I thought that maybe---” Komo shrugged his shoulders, but continued to grin as he was being called out by his coworker and friend.

I watched them spitball back and forth until it became too much and I had to interrupt them, laughing hard enough to bring a few tears to my eyes. “To be fair. This is a very new development!” I felt Irimi’s gaze shift from myself and Uta quickly again. “I won’t pretend like I knew beforehand, but you too are pretty cute together!”

Uncontrolled, a pink hue flooded back up into my face and I ducked to take another sip of my coffee. “Thank you...Mr. Yoshimura. The coffee is delicious as usual.”

♥

I sent Touka a message for the holiday, wishing her luck with the New Year and told her that I’d see her the next work day. Of course I still held the bag with the gift for her on my arm as Uta and I made our way back towards the subway station. I really wished that I’d been able to give it to her right away. I was pretty terrible at keeping gifts secret. I always, always wanted to give it to the recipient right away so I could enjoy their reaction as soon as possible.

“Are we heading to Itori’s bar?”

Uta turned his head and nodded. “Right after we head back to check on Bjorn. You can change if you’d like.” His eyes dipped, skimming down my kimono with a fond smile.  
“Does that mean you’re changing as well?” I did a full twirl and watched his face closely trying to determine his silent thoughts. “I think I’ll stay in this. It’s pretty comfortable and it’s not all the time that I get something this nice to wear. I’m enjoying it!”

“You look beautiful.”

“Thanks, I think it would be silly to wear something like this all the time though.”  
“It’s yours. I bought it for you so wear it as much as you like.” Uta leaned down, pressed his lips against my cheek quickly before pulling away again. “It’s not silly. As for me, I’ll stay in this---if you like it.” 

“---Itori’s not going to let us live it down though.” I said in addition to his sentence; a small embarrassed smile worming its way onto my face. My fingers smoothed over the paper bags in my arms anxiously. “The matching outfits are fairly obvious I suppose…”

“Good. It’s better if it’s obvious!~” I snorted at the self assured smirk that had appeared on the ghouls face. The way he wanted everybody to know - waltzing around in matching outfits and showing off like a peacock. Like he’d won a contest or something worth bragging about.

It made me glow with joy. In the recent past the idea that I’d be joyful about being shown off and loved for just being me would have seemed ridiculous. Without the prestige of my family I’d all but given up being able to attract someone. Instead I’d insisted I was ‘far too busy’ to be bothered with finding someone. But now it was almost enough dew up my eyes as I stared up at his grin.

He was smiling for me!  
Because of me.

Ever since I’d first met the man I’d seen more and more of that smile. It leaked out, eking it’s way out little by little until it was almost commonplace whenever I was around.

“Thank you for coming out with me today! Next place you can totally pick. Wherever you want to go! I swear!” I made a crossing X symbol over my heart.  
“I’ll hold you to that.”

♥  
“OH! MY! GOOOOSH!” 

This was the first thing I heard as we both walked into Itori’s bar. The woman reacts explosively. She jolted as if struck by lightning and looked ready to just about leap over the counter to come see us up closer. “Look at you!!!” She gasped, turning from Uta and myself. The woman ignored my face just moments from bursting into literal hellfire flames.

“Itori...really...its….” I barely managed to murmur. My words got drowned out right away as the woman did come out from around the counter and pet along my shoulders, touching the silky material of the kimono. “Oh it’s so pretty! I saw it when Uta picked it out but WOW!”

She turned quickly, shooting him a quick glance over and added: “U-kun you look good too! The matching is so CUTE!”

“This calls for a toast! Blood. Blood. Blood and RUM!~” She hurried back around her counter and began passing out glasses to Uta, Renji herself and the last - rum - to me. “Bottoms up! To a Happy New Year with luck to our friends! And extra luck for this new couple!”

“Cheers!” I said, more loudly and clinked the glasses together with the others before taking a big gulp. I couldn’t help but pull a face at the straight shot of liquor, but thankfully Itori came through when she slid another drink that looked like orange juice in front of me for a chaser. 

Renji lifted his glass and smiled towards me; it seemed that I had been right about all our ghoul friends so far. Everybody that we’d told so far had seemed happy for us.

As the effects of alcohol sank in I let out a long sigh and I finally let go of worries that something would go wrong. I stood up, whispered gently that I was heading to the bathroom. Once there I took my time, first going for the intended purpose but then pausing to look at myself in the mirror that hung above the sink. 

I carefully looked over my makeup, smoothed out any messiness in my hair and fixed my outfit where it was out of place. After tidying up my appearance I emerged again to head back to my spot. 

I was greeted unkindly with a pair of brown eyes staring out from behind a clown mask.  
“Oh...you invited your human. I didn’t realize.”

Roma. I carefully tailored my expression into a kind and friendly one; lifting my hand up to wave like a puppet on a set of strings. With Uta’s words in my mind from earlier I knew I had to do this; no matter how painful.

“Hey Roma! Happy New Year”

“Hum. Thanks...”

She was sitting in ‘my spot’. So I moved around Uta and started towards the seat on Renji’s other side. Far from my boyfriend but at least not close to HER. Midway there I was pulled close. “Where do you think you’re going? Sit here…”

Uta muttered into my ear as he pulled me into his lap, despite the perfectly good free chair just a short distance away. A moment later I heard a barely spoken ‘sorry’. Most likely because he really hadn’t had a clue that Roma was going to show up.

I could forgive him easily though, if my spot was going to be in his arms where Roma would glare at me from an untouchable distance. He may not want to fight her - but she also didn’t seem super included to start anything either as long as I didn’t provoke her. 

“Can I get a drink!” Roma waved a hand, changing her tone back to her usual joyous one.

♥

My discomfort was easily forgotten when the ghoul who held me to his body would lean his chin on my shoulder and breath gently over my neck. Once in a while he would interrupt something I said by nipping at my flesh. I’d forget what I meant to say and swat at him; complaints already flying from my tongue while he laughed at me.

When it was time to leave he took my mask out of my bag and set it over my face; gently securing it there and looking over the entire ensemble together. Kimono and mask together I must have looked like quite the sight.  
“Come on’. Let’s get home. Before I drink too much.” He smiled faintly and turned away from me. Bending down he made the motion to let me crawl onto his back so he could pick me up. “Get on! Ai-chan!”

The air gusting past my hair, tugging at the ties there pleased me as we flew from building top to building top. He’d started out slow, letting me get used to the height and speed but after a short time I leaned close to his ear and called. “How fast can you go?”

He hadn’t said anything out loud, but suddenly we were leaping much more forcefully forward. The sound of his laughing accompanied my loud yelp. For just a moment I felt like I’d slip off, but his hands held tight to my thighs clamped down hard around his middle.

“FUCK. Uta! A little warning!” I laughed despite the thrilled beat of my heart in my chest; pounding against his back loud enough I knew he’d be able to hear it even if he couldn’t feel it.

I shrieked again when we came to a spot and the man flipped me over his shoulder and into his arms effortlessly. “Going down!~”

“U---AHHHHHGH!” I yelled as he leapt off the roof and landed on the side street below. He hushed me, but couldn’t help his own laughter. “You did ask how fast I could go. You’re so fun to play with! I’m sorry.”

He set me down and then gently moved his hands to my hair, fixing bits of it. After that breakneck pace I was sure that the ponytail was likely completely messed up. It would need to be combed through and re-tied up when I had access to a mirror. “You’re not!” I accused with a false pout. It was fun, and it was nice that he felt comfortable enough to mess with me. He didn’t have to fear so much that I’d be truly scared. After all if his Kagune didn’t scare me why would this?

“Go get Bjorn. You can stay with me again. I’ll wait!~ No more scares! I promise.”

“Better not! Is this going to become a common thing? Staying with you?”

“You said I could pick the place we went.” So he’d...wanted to go home? I shook my head and smiled but to be fair if that’s what he wanted then that was fine. 

I pulled out my keys and unlocked the door to my apartment. Greeted instantly by my excited dog I wrapped my arms around his huge head and buried my face into his mane of hair. Muffling my yell of delight into his fur I rough housed for a few moments. “Come on Bjorn. Come on. Out time. Lets go.”

I ducked in, grabbed a bagged portion of his food and ducked back out - locking up as I left. Appart from my joy from the day, I hoped that everybody we knew was having a good night. I hoped that Yoshimura hung up his new windchime and didn’t feel too lonely. And Irimi would look at her keychain fondly. And Koma would set up the little figure on a little shelf. 

I hoped that Itori didn’t have a hangover in the morning, and the Renji went back home or visited the human who was that unknown ‘kitten.’ I hoped that they were at least a small portion as happy as I was as Uta invited me back into his shop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize that I'm taking longer to type each chapter as we go on. I HAVE SO MANY EXCUSES! Least of which is now I've been convinced to watch "HUNTER X HUNTER" and now Hisoka has been living in my brain Rent Free for a few weeks. That may very well turn into another fanfic at some point down the line. Clowns. These boys are LITTERALLY CLOWNS!  
> SEND HELP!  
> But I continue to read comments and they motivate me so much and I don't want to disappoint any of you.  
> So here we have a slightly shorter chapter. I also have to figure out how I'm going to go from here on.   
> Chapters will likely be a bit longer to write due to trying to tie together a plot that's thought out a great deal beforehand!


	37. Chapter 37: Blood and Tattoos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ♥ Fun fact. If you've read this far you've read the same amount of words as over a 3rd of the Lord of the Rings. The entire series. ♥
> 
> The Fellowship of the Ring – 187,790 words  
>  The Two Towers – 156,198 words.   
> The Return of the King – 137,115 words. The entire Lord of the Rings series (including The Hobbit) – 576,459 words

Chapter 36: 

Uta opened the door for me, followed us inside and re-locked it as Bjorn did his now customary first inspection of the studio. Once the inspection was completed the dog shoved the back door open and bound up the stairs to wait at the apartment door. 

“Somebody is in a hurry!~” I giggled, watching from the bottom of the stairs at Bjron’s flailing tail as the dog waited - one part patient, the other nine parts excited. 

Uta smiled faintly, following my gaze up the stairs. “We were out for quite a while.” I took a moment to glance at the ghoul, head tilted thoughtfully at his comment. “You didn’t mind did you. I know I hadn’t warned you about the shops. I guess I hadn’t really remembered that they’d be there and got a little carried away…” I dropped my gaze to the floor, feeling a little bad that I had made the man walk around streets crawling with Doves just for some shopping. The Doves were people who could, and would try to find and kill any ghouls they could regardless of the holiday, weren’t they? Uta had lowered his glasses a few times even in public. If they’d caught sight of Uta’s eyes for a second. I hated to think of what would happen.

“No. It was fine.” Fingers brushed across my cheek and then gently pulled my jaw upwards so I’d meet his eyes again. Those ghoulish “frightening” eyes were warm and bright for me. Long since had they lost any ‘fear factor’ and instead they felt welcoming and happy. “You should have seen your face.” He peered down at the remaining bags in my hands. “You looked quite content. Did you get anything for yourself?”

“Oh...Well.” I paused, thinking through the laundry list of things I’d bought. “No actually. I think I only got food while I was there.” I could feel saliva pooling in my mouth as I remembered the delicious scents and tastes of the New Years. I really would have to try to go to festivals more - they had such delicious food! “I don’t normally buy myself things.” Unless I needed them pretty badly, or I’d placed aside money for it specifically. For example: My coffee maker.

My comment received a small, thoughtful hum from my ghoul boyfriend. “What are you thinking?” I asked since I felt unsure after searching his blank expression for an answer. “Oh. That it would explain why your apartment is so empty.” I puffed up my cheeks and pouted, not really offended because he was absolutely right. But I still felt the need to defend my little home. 

“Hey! It’s just fine the way it is!”

The ghouls lips stretched out into a sideways smirk. “If you’re happy, then it is. But I must prefer you staying here. I’ll have to find a way to keep you here more often.” I blanked for a moment, watching as he walked up his stairs and opened the door, letting Bjorn bound into the apartment living space. He glanced back over his shoulder to becon me upwards and onwards into the apartment. My brain was on pause until I could catch up and fully process what he’d said about keeping me more often. Quickly I ascended the stairway to catch up with dog and ghoul. “Well I have been staying here a lot. I think I’ve been spending most of my nights here lately." I muttered, heat already rushing to my cheeks as I muttered out this undeniable truth.

He turned, caught me around the waist and pulled me close to himself, the smirk on his face inches away. "That makes me happy. But it’s still not every night." He bent forward, first pressing a kiss into my cheek and then leaning his face against the side of my neck. Without hesitation my arms were wrapped around his back to give him a tight hug, holding and pulling him as close as I could. He spoke softly, his breath a sigh of air past my neck tickling my flesh. "You’re safe here. With me."

“I know that. But I’ve been okay at home too.” I replied, still holding tight. He was no means ‘soft’ to hold onto. Clutched tight to his chest it felt a bit like hugging a muscle bound brick building. But it was sturdy, warm and I could relax with little doubt that he’d hold me up if I wanted to lean my weight on him. That has its own advantages.

“At home you said you’d be ‘fucked’ if anybody busted down the wall, or door.” I smiled faintly, leaning my head against his and hummed. He was using my own words against me at this point. I took a deeper breath, breathing in the scent of soap in his hair. “Well we fixed my door, but someone who’s determined enough could get into any building. You think I’m safer here?”

“There’s more doors. And me.”  
“Yeah. There is you…” The doors didn’t count for much against a ghoul. From what I’ve seen, most of them could bust through such hindrances if they wanted so I wouldn’t be counting on extra doors to protect me. Uta on the other hand I did trust. As long as he was around I was fairly safe. With a few exceptions like Roma whom he admitted was stronger than him.

“---And there’s a real bed here that you’re always welcome to.” He turned his head and pressed his lips against my pulse. I let out a soft sigh and leaned my head to the side, granting more access to my throat. The invite was taken up immediately and more kisses were pressed against the exposed flesh. “---I could get you a separate fridge if you’d like---”

In my mind I was following his lips and teeth as he started to nip between speaking. So much so that I almost completely breezed by any words he was speaking. “Hum...a fridge…?” My eyebrows pulled together as I tried to concentrate on what he was talking about. I was too happy at the amount of affection I was getting, and too distracted to think clearly. “You could stay here…” He pulled back and I let him go, letting him slip through my arms as he held me at out at arms length. A little off balance and dazed; I pouted at the loss of touch, warmth and support.

One of the ghoul’s hands dug into his clothes and pulled out something small and shiny. He grasped one of my hands and placed the item; warm and metallic, into my palm and closed my fingers around it. “You can think about it. You don’t have to. But you’re free to come and go anytime.”

I pulled my hand away and opened my fingers to stare at the little item he’d slipped to me.  
A key; Silver and sparkling with fresh cut edges.

“I made a copy. It’s for the studio door. I wasn’t sure when to give it to you...” I felt his eyes on me as I stared down at the key. I was stunned silent because I didn’t know how to react. My brain once again was still playing catching with the current moment. I was still trying to figure out what he meant by a fridge. “...you’re not upset are you?” I saw his feet shuffle nervously and step slightly closer. Finally I looked up from the shiny item to meet his eyes. I knew my eyes were wide, shocked platters as I met his concerned dark eyes. His hands hovered out, as if to try to comfort me as he took in my expression. At the moment he was trying to judge if he’d said or done something wrong based on my expression.

“No! Of course I’m not upset! At all! I’m sorry--- I’m---I wasn’t really listening to what you were saying before...b-because---” My face burnt and turned hot pepper red, the kisses and nips still felt warm on my throat even after he’d stopped and backed off. “---I was a little distracted is all.”

My blush spread to my ears and down my neck when he started to chuckle, relaxing again once I admitted my distraction. I’d only been surprised and left completely behind by my train of thoughts. Never could I be upset by this! I looked back down at the key he’d given me in wonder. Tracing the sharp edges of the cut metal with the pad of one of my fingers. “What were you saying about a fridge?”

“Ah. We could have a separate fridge for your food. So you’d never have to worry about getting it mixed up. And I have a bed here big enough for the two of us. There’s plenty of room here for Bjorn. I don’t mind watching him while you’re away at work…”

Bed. Fridge for human food storage, separated from his own ‘human’ food. Bjorn staying. Was he…? 

“So...stay here?” He said quietly. He tried to shrug and look nonchalant about the offer, but I saw how his eyes darted around my expression.

“Stay?” I repeated more gently; parroting his question back at him. I think I understood but---well we had only been official for a very, very short time. Was this moving too fast? “You want me to live with you?”

“That...was the idea. Your apartment really isn’t that safe. I’d feel better if I was able to protect you here. You don’t have to if you’re not comfortable. But with the key you could come and go as you please. You can decide later.” I reached out in a flash, grabbing Uta’s wrist as the man started to turn to walk further into the apartment. Towards the kitchen most likely based on the direction.

He turned back, head tilted in that cute puppy dog way. “Y---yeah.”

“Yeah?” It was his turn to parrot my words back at me. “Y-you’ve gotta give me a few weeks. My rent is already paid for the month...but yeah. I’ve been staying here a lot of the time anyway. If you really want me here. It would be silly to say no...”

“I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t mean it.”

“Just one thing!” I held up a finger, waggling it back and forth. I was amused as the ghoul’s eyes followed it then shot me a look with raised eyebrows. “---I already have an extra fridge. The one in my apartment is actually my property. The place wasn’t furnished when I moved in.”

“Is it furnished now? You have three pieces of furniture and an appliance.”

“...two appliances.” I stuck out my tongue and played along with his taunt. “The microwave and the fridge make two.”

“Oh. Sorry. Two appliances.” The ghoul's mouth twitched again, pulling up into a smirk. “-And my coffee pot.”

“That’s already here…” Uta spun around and moved towards the kitchen. Following along behind him I stopped to lean against the wall separating the kitchen and living room. I could see from here that he was correct. I pouted again, pressing my lips together in a thin line as he waved a hand towards the fancy coffee pot sitting clean and sparkling on the counter. “You’re welcome to bring your other two items here while you're at it.” Uta spoke, managing to filter MOST of his teasing tone out of his voice.

“I’ve got a small mug collection! And the skulls! So that’s more than two items!”

Uta’s smile stayed on his face, victorious in nature as if he’d won an argument we weren’t really having. He leaned down to the fridge and started to paw through boxes for something to eat. “Those are welcome too. I’ll make space in the drawer and closet for you.” I stepped closer to stand next to him and reached down to touch his cheek. Surprised he glanced up; willingly following my fingers' guidance to meet my gaze. 

In a moment of spontaneity; I bent down at my waist and pressed my lips gently against his: taking the last opportunity before he had a chance to eat any human flesh. The ghoul’s mouth opened briefly in a surprised “O” before he leaned up to press closer into the kiss. It lasted a few moments before he broke the contact briefly to straighten and stand himself up. One of his hands cupped around my hip and pushed me back against the counter edge. The other grasped at a random tupperware container at the last moment. He shoved it onto the counter, sending it skittering across the countertop before joining his other hand to grip gently onto my hips. He kicked the fridge door closed with the heel of his foot before striking up the kiss again with a low groan in the back of his throat.

Adrenaline and excitement made my heart race in my chest. I cupped his face gently in both hands and eagerly continued kissing the ghoul with matching passion until teeth bit my bottom lip. The bite pinched just short of pain before letting go. He pulled away when both of us needed air. The hands on my hips trembled slightly and he groaned softly, suddenly sounding pained. He stopped and stepped back quickly, both of us still trying to catch our breath. “Ai-chan...you should warn me before you do something like that.”

Raising my fingers to my lips I touched the sore spot shyly. “Well then it wouldn’t be a surprise, would it? I thought you lik---” Seeing his eyes blazing brightly caught me off guard, as did the wet stream of warmth down my chin.The ghoul reached out and brushed his fingers over my lips and held them out. I finally spotted bright blood drops sliding down the digits and the hungry look that was in his eyes now that we were parted. I was bleeding? Uta broke from his trance and grabbed his box of food off the counter and was retreating out of the room hastily.

“Uta-kun…?” I took a few steps forward, but he was already long gone. No reply came, but the bedroom door shut with a little more force than was strictly necessary. I flinched, leaning back against the counter. Carefully I touched my lips myself and looked down at the crimson droplets coating my finger tips. I could taste it now as I ran my tongue over the wound. The taste was a bit like sucking on a penny. Coppery. It had to have something to do with why he’d run off to his room; food in hand like that. My best guess was that he had tasted it and…

Was it my fault? Surprising him like that had put him off guard and unprepared. The more I was allowed to think about it, the more I felt that it HAD to be COMPLETELY my fault. I was fully aware he wasn’t human and I’d done something wrong to set off a course of events that ended up making him run off. Uta would be right to be angry with me. I washed my hand and face off in the sink and watched the pink water flow down the drain. I listened, waiting for a while for Uta to emerge from the bedroom once again so I could apologize. But as minutes stretched into a quarter of an hour and then into a half hour I started to feel nervous. And lonely.

I went to his door, leaning my face against the wood for a moment before knocking. “Uta...I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for that to happen. It’s my fault. I---I’m going to go home now.” I bit my already sore lip and flinched. I was sure that the bleeding had stopped, but I could feel the bruise left behind. “I’m going to head home. You can text me when you---”

I swallowed my heart back down as I stopped talking to reiterate the mid sentence. “---If you want me to come back over sometime.” I stepped away from the door, hurriedly moving to put on my shoes. I called Bjorn to come with me as I half ran down the stairs to Uta’s shop. Bjron got up and sprang after me, whining softly as I cleared the flight of stairs in only a few steps.

In the shop I stopped, taking a few deep breaths. Slipping my hand into a hidden pocket I pulled out the key Uta had given me only a short time ago. Perhaps I should leave it behind, give it back? I heard a door open and close inside the apartment, followed by my name being called out.

I jolted alive again, turning moving to the front door of the shop and slipped out. The key was still clenched tight in my hand as I fast walked myself home. As poorly as I felt, I couldn’t bear to put it down on his desk. It would be too much like saying goodbye and that wasn’t something I wanted. Bjorn walked beside me, leash free and loose. However, smart as he was he stayed close. Seemingly aware that this wasn’t a walk where he was supposed to run around and play joyfully. He pressed a cold nose into my hand and licked.

“I’m okay Bud. I’m okay.”

“Ai-chan!” I turned, surprised to see a familiar dark figure hurrying towards me. “Uta? I----”

“I’m sorry.” I stared at the man with saucer wide eyes trying to understand just why he was bothering to apologize when that was my job. The ghoul stopped close by, hands lifting to show empty palms. “Come back. I’m good now. I promise.” He lowered his voice so nobody would have a chance to overhear. “I ate. It’s safe. I promise you’re not in danger.”

“I thought that...I’d done something wrong. I figured you needed space.”

“Come back with me. I’ll explain inside.”

I allowed myself to be guided back towards the studio, his hand slipped towards mine where he found the key clenched tightly between my fingers. He peered at it as I held it out in an open palm, trying to hand it back. A hurt look appeared on his face before it was concealed cleverly behind a mask. He spoke up again once we were inside the shop and he had locked the door behind us to keep away any late night customers. “I’m sorry Aika...I didn’t mean to scare you. Please keep the key.”

“Scare me? No. That’s not it! I---Didn’t I do something wrong? You looked so pained when you ran off. I thought that I’d made you angry or hurt you somehow…?”

“I was hungry.” Uta spoke softly. The blank mask fell again and realization dawned in his eyes as if he understood something I didn’t yet know. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I shouldn’t have encouraged you. Or...bit you. Again. When I tasted your blood I---” He didn’t finish his sentence right away. The ghoul tore his eyes away, unable to meet my gaze as he told me the rest. “I had to get some space between us--- to eat. Or I might have hurt you. On accident.”

“So you ran off because of---” I licked my lip, checking again to make sure it wasn’t still leaking blood. I searched his face quickly and saw that it was clean of blood, although there was a tiny smeared dark mark on his chin. A hasty attempt to clean up before running after me.

Uta stepped quickly around me into the shop and seated himself down in his work chair, keeping his eyes very intently on one of the masks we had finished only a handful of hours ago. They were ready for delivery to their new owners as soon as the post offices opened up after the holiday break. “Yes. I’m sor----”

“No!” I strode up behind him and clapped my hands over his shoulders. I leaned my weight on his chair to tilt it back a bit. “Don’t do that!” I scolded. He tilted his head upwards and back; meeting my eyes. His expression was incredulous as I stopped him from apologizing anymore. He had already done so way too much. “I could have hurt---or killed you.”

“You promised not to.” I replied softly, squeezing his shoulders just a little. Whether it was to assure myself or him, I wasn’t entirely sure. “Anyway. You’re really going to have to get used to being close to me, and maybe even a little of my blood. Especially if you like biting lips. Okay?”

“Such a strange human. I try to warn you and you’re still unconcerned.”  
“You had a fridge full of meat right next to you. I don’t think you’d hurt me if you had another option.”

“But you're a sweeter option.”  
“I’m too fun to have around!~” Aware that he’d eaten I leaned down and placed a kiss on his forehead. Then I leaned down and closed my teeth around the tip of his ear, sinking teeth into the flesh to give him a harsh pinch next to an earring. I smirked as his body jumped, his fingers went to his ears as I pulled back and stuck out my tongue. “ I told you that if you kept biting me I’d have to bite back!”

♥

I giggled as I followed Uta back up the stairs, with our misunderstanding cleared up I was once again on track to stay the night. His fingers raised to touch his ear once more and while I found it quite funny I was distracted as I took notice that his digits were clean of blood.

Had he cleaned off his fingers, or had he----  
For that matter did I really want to know?

“Uta! Day after tomorrow the holidays end. Do you want me to cook you dinner tomorrow?” I spoke up to distract my thoughts, but it came back around to food anyway. The ghoul turned his head and grinned, a brightness sparking in his eyes again as the light caught the iries. “Would you?”

“Of course! I wouldn't have offered if I hadn’t meant it!” I grinned as I shot his words back at him. He turned around and sat himself on the couch, lounging out like a languid, lazy cat. “Okay then. Can you cook tonight then?” I stopped and lifted an eyebrow up to give the ghoul a funny look. 

“Are you sure you’re feeling alright? You did just eat...didn’t you?”

The confident look on his face faded and he looked almost a little bit nervous. Sheepish. “Yes. But I’m still hungry…” I remembered right then just how much he’d eaten the one day I’d walked in to find him injured. A whole bowl of organs and then a whole human limb. I doubted he had to eat that much in a normal circumstance but I also wasn’t going to argue if he was telling me he was still hungry.

“Okay. Well if you ARE still hungry then I’d be happy to cook. Didn’t I have to tell you, you only have to ask!~” I grinned and waved a hand at the kitchen. “--But you’re picking out the meat and helping cook. I still don’t like touching it!”

I went to the kitchen, leaving the ghoul to begin to pull out a pan to place it on heat. He joined a moment later, picking through the fridge again for meat. He seemed to remember the last time I’d cooked for him pretty well. He drained blood and some pieces of fat into the pan and watched them melt down into an oily substance, looking for approval after he’d done it. “Next put the meat in.” I told him while I grabbed a pair of tongs I could use to flip the meat once one side was cooked. Once it was in he excused himself, a smirk on his face. “Hey! You’re not escaping! Get back here!” I cried out as he fled the kitchen. I stayed by the stove, afraid that I’d end up burning the meat if I went to chase him down. 

“I’ll be right back Ai-chan!~”

“Uta!”

I heard the door to the apartment open but not close and his footsteps as he half-ran down the stairs to his shop. I watched the bubbling blood in the pan and pouted. The smell of it still made me feel a bit guilty - but it was easier to just think of it as meat the longer I was around Uta. I just had to forget that the meat had a name, face and dreams before---  
No. Bad Aika. I took a breath in, which hadn’t helped much, and let it go.

The sound of Uta’s shoes coming back up the stairs served as a better distraction and I turned to pout at the ghoul as he poked his head back in. “How’s it going?”  
“It’s fine. Despite the fact you left me here to cook it on my own.”  
He stepped in and leaned over the pan, sniffing and making a small hum of satisfaction. “Smells good.” Yes. It did and as guilty as I was for cooking a person I was reminded that I should probably eat as well. I’d have to cook something else afterwards. I flipped the ‘steak’ and let the pinkish meat on the other side start to brown as well.

♥

“Ai-chan!” A smile spread across his face as he came back from the bathroom. In his hands he held a familiar cardboard box. The ghoul had eaten his food and then let me cook my own for myself with no interruptions. He’d even come out while I was cooking to clean up the pans splattered with greasy remains of human meat, fat and blood. 

Now as I finished my food and started to clean my own plates I heard my name being called and stuck my head out into the living room to see him with this box. I looked at the box curiously, trying to remember what was in it. “You don’t remember, do you?”

“I thought since I had you for the night…” He plopped down, opening the top flaps and pulling out the inking gun for me to see. “That you might let me ink you finally. We have tonight and tomorrow...as long as you don’t have plans. Has Renji-kun gotten back to you about when your next training is?”

I shook my head to answer both his questions. I hadn’t remembered - and I also hadn’t heard anything from Renji. Even when we went to Itori’s place he didn’t really talk much about the next training time much. I assumed it would be as scheduled after the holiday. It would give him time to spend with the girl who he had so far kept secret from everybody. “He’ll text me, or show up at the café when he has time again. Everybody needs a little holiday after---you know. Everything.”

“I suppose you’re right.”  
“Have you heard from Kaneki at all?” I placed down the dishes on the counter, determining I’d get them done later and returned to the living room to watch as Uta unboxed everything and set out the ink in a line on the counter. It looked like he was well prepared. His sketchbook was even sitting by for him to look at for the design.

He shook his head, making his bangs sway from side to side. “No. I haven't heard a thing from him. Or about him for that matter. Itori might know more but hasn’t shared as of yet. She likes to keep her information close to her chest.”

That made sense, I’d just have to try and bribe her into telling me what Ken was into. Maybe I could get some info that would make Touka feel better? Though, I doubted it. Away from Anteiku where it was safe he could only be doing some vastly more dangerous things. Any information I got probably would just make her worry. “So. Where do you want me!?”

“Well. I’ll need your arms bare. Unfortunately you’ll have to take the Kimono off.” He stood up and stretched his arms above his head. “You should feed Bjorn before we start since we’ll be holding still for a while. And you can change into something else.” He thumbed towards his bedroom while he moved back towards the shop. “I’m grabbing a comfortable seat for you. You can pick out any of my clothes to wear if you’d like.”

Flustered, I did as he said. Pulling meat out for Bjorn and then heading back towards his room. Right before I entered the bedroom I saw he’d brought up a stood and was heading back down to get something else. In a moment when he thought nobody could see he was smiling contently to himself.

I stepped into his bedroom and started to go through a drawer of his clothes, picking out a tank top I’d seen him wear a few times since I’d met him. It was one with little metal rings in the shoulder straps. It always made me wonder how the straps hadn’t fallen off his shoulders. Next I picked out a pair of baggy pants that I’d lent before. I shrugged off the kimono and folded it on the bed so it wouldn’t be wrinkled later before pulling on the pants and tying them on in front.

“Ai-chan, you’re phone ringi---” I looked up quickly, hearing the ringtone of my phone as the male stood at the door. His cheeks dusted pink as he spotted me. Pants on and a shirt held in my hands. “Sorry!” I could still hear my phone’s ringtone as he retreated away from the door I hadn’t bothered to lock.

“Uta! I...Answer the phone!” I called out the door, blushing like mad as I stared down the hallway at his retreating back. I shoved the shirt over my head and rubbed my burning face. In the other room I heard the male speak to someone on the phone. “Moshi, Moshi?”

I snickered hearing the casual answer and tired to imagine anybody reacting to A) The familiar greeting from B) Uta, or to them perhaps an unknown male. I walked out of the room and walked up to Uta. “Sorry, She’s here.”

The phone was held out to me and I took it. I didn’t recognize the number when I looked at it and frowned. I shot Uta a quick ‘Who is this’ look before speaking up over the phone. “Sorry. Hello?”

“Aika Kaneshiro?” I froze, still looking at Uta as the person over the phone said not just my name but my full family name. It made me feel unsure and nervous to hear the sound of my name - especially in this circumstance this late at night. I glanced at the clock and saw it was well after five pm. Business hours should be over. “Speaking.”

“Ms. Kaneshiro. There’s an issue that needs to be settled with the Kaneshiro business and your presence is requested at---” I cut them off. “Sorry. Sir. If this has to do with anybody with my last name then I’d got nothing to do with me. I don’t have any contact with my blood relatives.”

“Ms. Kaneshiro, your presence is requested by your parents---” it was at this point I clicked end on the phone call. Grimacing at the device. “Ugh. Well there’s one number to block…” Sure enough the phone rang again with the same name but I sent it to voicemail and proceeded to block the number on my phone. 

It was a shame that the call came from who it had. It might have been funny to have Uta answer my phone when Itori or someone from work called. At least then I’d still be able to see the ghoul’s blush dusted face. Instead, now he was looking at me with a hungry curiosity.

“Apparently my family found someone to find my phone number. It IS registered under my name so I’m surprised it took them this long. Anyway. Any trouble they’ve gotten into isn’t my business.” I put the phone aside on the coffee table before looking at his set up. It didn’t look like the most comfortable set up but he had made it so we could listen to music while he worked.

“Okay then!~ Now that I’m properly dressed.” There it was, the slight pink tinge that rose up into his cheeks. “Sorry. The door wasn’t locked. I... thought you were still picking clothes and would get dressed in the bathroom…”

I grinned and shook my head. I took my seat and set my arm up where he could work on it at the correct angle. “Well...I’m still missing one piece of clothing for this.”  
“Hum?” I smirked almost giddy when I saw the innocent, wide eyed stare he gave me; not understanding what I meant. He stopped reaching for the sketch pad and tilted his head.

“Blindfold?~ ♥” I smiled, seeing the idea click. “Oh. Oh!” His face settled back into his normal calm. Only a small upturn on his lips and a gleam in his eyes set the expression apart from ‘normal’. Uta stood and moved away, returning moments later. A dark fabric cut off my view of the apartment. “If you want it off, just let me know.”

♥

The first time the needle hit my skin was over an hour later. Uta had drawn the outline on my skin so it would be easier to put it down perfectly with no mistakes. It had taken time but when he was happy with it he started the tattoo gun. “Ai-chan. Last chance to take a look or back out.”

I shook my head. But I bit my lip a bit; flinching again when it hurt from the previous bite. “What’s wrong?”  
“Lip is sore. You bite hard and I don’t heal as fast as you!” I pouted, adding: “And I am a bit nervous about how much this’ll hurt to be honest.”

“Hum...I’ll warn you before the needle hits. Okay? Just don’t jump. I’ll mess up.”

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, nodding. “Okay. Go ahead.” The buzzing of the tattoo gun started up and I heard Uta gently count down from three. “...and one.” Just as he said one I felt a slight sting of pain on my upper arm and bit my lip - again only hunting myself again.  
“You okay?”

“Umhum...stings.”

“Here. Change the music until you’re happy.” A small remote was placed in my other hand and I found the button to play music, relaxing a little as a song I liked popped on. ‘Silence by Marshmello.’

My smile grew as I heard the ghoul next to me hum along with the song as he worked. I leaned my head down and rested while I got the hang of the buzzing pain on my arm that was a little bit like being stung by a bee, but not nearly as jarring. When the song ended it started up again. “Whoops. I guess it’s on repeat. Must have hit the wrong button.” I said softly.

To my surprise the ghoul ghoul spoke up, but this time his voice carried the sorrowful lyrics of the song. Singing.

He sang!?

“Yeah, I'd rather be a lover than a fighter,'Cause all my life, I've been fighting. Never felt a feeling of comfort, oh. And all this time, I've been hiding. And I never had someone to call my own. I'm so used to sharing. Love only left me alone. But I'm at one with the silence ♥”

Unable to see him, the room or what he was working on but I opened my mouth and sang the next part. I felt my face heat up, knowing my voice was far from the best and hoping he wouldn’t mind too badly.

“I found peace in your violence. Can't tell me there's no point in trying. I'm at one, and I've been quiet for too long. I found peace in your violence. Can't tell me there's no point in trying. I'm at one, and I've been silent for too long…♫”

As I sang I listened to the lyrics and found myself tearing up under the blindfold. Suddenly I was very happy I had it over my eyes so he couldn't see I was close to tears. He started to sing the next round of lyrics, so low and sad that it tugged at my heart strings so painfully I wanted to curl up. My eyes spilled tears into the black fabric around my head but I just turned away my head so the ghoul wouldn’t notice. 

“I'm in need of a savior, but I'm not asking for favors. My whole life, I've felt like a burden. I think too much, and I hate it. I'm so used to being in the wrong, I'm tired of caring. Loving never gave me a home, so I'll sit here in the silence. ♫”

I couldn’t sing the next few lines without choking out the words so I simply sat quietly as Uta went back to humming along with the song rather than singing to lyrics. As the song ended I hit buttons to get it to skip to the next rather than playing again.

It was two or three songs later that Uta spoke up, softly asking if I was okay. I nodded my head, pain from the tattoo the last thing on my mind. I wondered if the lyrics to that song actually struck home the same way for him or if he’d only sang along because he knew the song.

♥

At some point I think I fell asleep, arm resting at an awkward angle that it hurt after hours in the same pose. I was roused up from the sleeping dead with my name, called gently in my ear. And then a small threat.  
“Ai-chan. If you don’t wake up I’ll have to nip you again.” I sat my head up, automatically going to rub my face but finding the black cloth still in place. “It’s not completely done yet. But the main part of it is finished enough. We could both use a break.”

He chuckled, fingers finding the edge of the blindfold to pull it off. “You were drooling so it must not have hurt that much.”

I squeezed my eyes shut even after he pulled off the eye covering. “What’s wrong? You can look.”

“I really don’t wanna see it until you’re completely done. So can you cover it up with a bandage?”

There was a pause and Uta shuffled among his things. “Yeah. I’ll have to go get one. Give me a moment. Don’t peak.”

I kept my eyes closed while I waited. The closet in the hallway was being shuffled through until he dropped something - again - and then returned. “Okay. I’ll wipe it down and put some cream on it before I wrap it. Hold up your arm a little so I can get the bandage around.”

My arm still felt a little pained when he ran his palm over the area, and again when he wrapped the upper arm with a bandage. Only after he’d clipped it did I dare to peek out of my eyelids. “All good?”

“Yup.” Uta stood, grabbing up some paper towels from the table to throw them out. On them I spotted bloody red marks and realized that I must have bled a bit while he worked. He must have heard the surprised gasp that left me because he turned and made a face like he’d been caught red handed. “It’s not as bad as it looks. You might bleed a little more, but it’s not that bad.”

“It’s actually why I ate extra tonight. I knew you might bleed so I figured it was better to work on a full stomach.” He took the disposable towels away and threw them away under the sink. “Sorry…” I said quietly. 

“Are you apologizing for bleeding? Or smelling so tasty?”

“Both?” I was rubbing my arm below the bandage. The area couldn’t seem to decide if it wanted to itch or burn but it was uncomfortable regardless. “Make sure not to rub it Ai-chan. You have to leave it alone for a little while.”

“Yeah. I know. I expected it to hurt a lot more but didn’t think it would ITCH so much!” Uta put away his sketchbook and the inking supplies into the box and slid them under the coffee table. “I could try to distract you? Do you want to hear some jokes?”

“The clown has jokes?”  
“Yes.” 

I snorted, effectively distracted from the itch. “Okay Clown man. Tell me a joke!”

“Why did the duck cross the road twice?”  
It wasn’t the type of joke I thought I’d be getting honestly, but I still thought about it. There was a pause and I made a face, shaking my head to let him know I didn’t know the answer. 

“To prove that he wasn’t a chicken.”

“Uta! That’s terrible.” I still laughed though, the terrible joke was funnier simply because of it’s juvenile nature. “Do you have better jokes?”  
I opened my mouth but only a small choked noise came out. I honestly could only think of the very worst of my jokes at the moment. The dark humor that just wasn’t for everybody. “Well...after your jokes I’m not sure it’s appropriate.”

Amused, the ghoul sat on the couch, and lowered his gaze to me incredulously. “I kill and eat people. Tell the joke.”

Well. The man did have a point. Maybe.  
But regardless I did continue once I was urged on. “How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb?” The ghoul took a moment to look surprised before shaking his head. Struggling not to laugh in the delivery I grinned painfully. “It’s not three. The basement is still dark.”  
The laugh that came from uta was sudden and louder than I was used to, but the ghoul did laugh. Full and hearty with zero restraints on volume even after his eyes watered. After a minute and lightly punched his arm. “It’s not that funny!” He shook his head, still laughing as he tried to explain. “Coming from you. It’s very funny! That’s the last thing I expected.”

I smirked, shrugging my shoulders like: ‘What do you want me to say’. My jokes always ended up leaning more towards the inappropriate. They were just funnier that way.

“Okay, how about this one. Why did the little girl fall off the swings?”  
A small shake of the head had me continuing on, he was still wiping his eyes before the first joke. “She had no arms...Knock knock.”  
“Who’s there?”  
“Not the girl.”

Snorting he shook his head. “That’s terrible.” I grinned again, laughing at the disappointment in his voice. “But we’re not chopping off your arm to stop it from itching.” His hand landed on my hand which had unconsciously started to scratch again. “If you don’t quit that I’ll have to figure something else out.”

“I can’t help it!” I whined, pulling at his grip on my arm to continue to scratch but finding total resistance. I couldn't move a single inch closer to touching the arm that needed scratched. “Huh?” I tried again and narrowed my eyes at the ghoul in question. “Geez. How strong are you?”

“Strong enough to stop you from itching your tattoo. If you stop for a minute I’ll find you something cold to press into it.”

I nodded, and he let go of my arm. Though he continued to watch me like a hawk until he was out of sight in the kitchen; like I was a child who would start scratching the moment he wasn’t looking. He came back with something cold wrapped up in a bundle of towels. “Here. Hold this to it.

I looked skeptically at the bundle and shot the ghoul the side eye. “Uta. That’s not... a frozen body part you want me to use as a cold compress. Is it?” He didn’t exactly look very innocent with the way his eyes darted down at the bundle in his hands, and I didn’t trust the way he glanced back at the kitchen. “It is, isn’t it?”

“...I can go buy some ice from the store.” He finally said, bringing the bundle back to the kitchen. “Stay here. And don’t scratch it. You could mess up the ink.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My brain this whole week: 💕😜bungee🍬gum🤩🤪has😳the💯📏properties🏫🍭of🚪both😍rubber🎀and🤭gum🍬👒you😏see😌
> 
> SOMEONE HELP!
> 
> ANYWAY I HOPE YA'LL LIKE IT. I"M STRUGGLING. XD NEVER GONNA GIVE UP THO. I WILL FINISH THIS. (not soon, because there's SO much plot left in my brain.)  
> Don't worry! I'm still here!


	38. Chapter 38: Ghouls can't cook

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternative Title: Domestic Stuff!~

Chapter 38: 

I watched, unimpressed as Uta slid on his shoes and pulled a slightly heavier coat on over himself to guard against the winter weather outside. I wasn’t all that pleased that he’d tried to get away with using a body part as a frozen ‘pack’. But at least he seemed to realize the mistake fairly quickly and was more than willing to amend it by going out to get some proper ice. Before heading out to the doorway he hesitated under the archway, shooting me a look I thought was supposed to be stern. Despite the expression he still spoke a gentle plea. “Don’t scratch at your arm Ai-chan. I’ll be back shortly.”

I nodded, settling back into the couch and biting my lip gently. It was easier to avoid thinking about the irritation on my arm when I could concentrate on the dull pain of my lip instead. Bjorn watched the ghoul leave, jumping up briefly to walk around the room before coming to sit by the couch and stare at me intently. “He’ll be back Bear-Bear.” I reached and rested my hand over the dog’s head to scratch gently at his ears.

I looked at the wrapped area of my arm curiously, all the while fighting the urge to both scratch and take a peek at the design now imprinted onto my skin. I had to remind myself that it wasn’t finished. Until it was it wouldn't be very fun to see it. After all, as long as it wasn’t finished then it wasn’t what the artist had intended. I could peek at the notebook Uta had left out---but once again decided against it. 

Bjorn turned his head and sniffed at my covered arm. “Don’t you mess with it either.” I laughed, pulling the arm out of his reach before letting out a long sigh. “We’ll all see it when it’s completely done!”

I got up from the couch after a few minutes, the urge to scratch at the limb was becoming insistent! If the ghoul didn’t hurry then I might just reopen my lip as I spent my time chewing on it! I turned my head around when I heard the door downstairs open and close. I glanced at the clock and sighed, relieved by the sound of returning footsteps up the stairway. It had been only ten very long minutes but it had felt like every second was extended and slowed down---

“I’ve got you ice.” The door squeaked as it opened and Uta stood in the doorway; behold with a bag hanging from his arm. He hung up the coat and took off his dark glasses, glancing around to spot me and make sure I hadn’t been messing with the new tattoo. His eyes flicked to my arm, then to my face.

“What?” I asked, my grin falling when I saw he looked concerned. “I didn’t peek! I promise!” The ghoul moved towards me, reaching and touching my face gently with a free hand. The skin was a bit cold against my skin after his walk but wasn’t unpleasant. His thumb ran across my bottom lip tenderly.

“You’re lip…?”  
“Oh...yeah. That. It’s fine. I’ve been kind of biting on it to distract myself I guess. I’m not bleeding again, am I?” I reached up to touch my lips again, but no. My fingers came away from my mouth blood-free

“...” The ghoul held out the bag of ice out towards me. I took it gratefully and started to head for the kitchen where I could put some ice into a smaller pack and put the rest in the freezer.

“How’s the arm?”

“Itchy!” I complained, grinning all the while. “I didn’t expect it to itch! I thought it would hurt more!” I dropped ice into a plastic bag, tied the end of it off and wrapped it up into towels to keep a little extra distance from my skin. Uta’s face morphed into a small grin as I came back into the living room with the ice pressed against my arm. “That’s a lot better!” The sigh that I let out was full of immense relief and I allowed my body to flop onto the couch, leaning my head over Uta’s lap casually and smile sweetly up at him.

For a few short moments the ghoul looked shocked and then his hands found my hair and began to pet gently through the strands. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply - allowing my body to relax little by little. “That feels really nice…I could fall asleep…”

“Go ahead…” He entangled his fingers though the strands and gently scraped his fingernails over my scalp leaving a trail of tingles over my skull and down my spine. I hummed an affirmative and tried to repress a pleasant shiver. “Thanks for getting the ice Uta.”

With fingers moving through in my hair and gentle touches over my face and neck I was pulled off to calm, dreamless sleep. When I’d fallen asleep I'd rested across Uta’s lap in a lit room and no covers. The cold compress against my arm had been left to cool the irritated section of my skin. Regardless, that wasn’t how I found myself when for a brief few minutes I opened my eyes again...

Dark room, warm from a blanket pulled over my body, and a warm body against my back. I shifted slightly to try to itch my arm, only to find that I was stopped by another's hand around my wrist. The grip wasn’t uncomfortably tight, but it was firm enough to stop me from moving freely to scratch. I followed the hand around my wrist to the arm wrapped around my middle, to the man laying on his side behind me. The body that lay warm behind my back. Settling back down, and closing my eyes again I eased back to sleep.

♥

I fixed Uta with a confused and incredibly surprised stare first thing in the morning. The bedroom had been empty - the bed still warm but the ghoul was missing. So I’d gotten up and searched for him. The ghoul had come out from the kitchen; in his hand a plate of toast and darkened egg. Though I did question if it was actually technically even an egg anymore since he had managed to mangle and darken it to almost the point of burning it to charcoal. 

My eyes shifted from the toast, the dubious eggs and then back up at his eyes which were stereotypically blank as he stared down at me.

“I may have...burnt them…” He said awkwardly, eyes breaking away to look back at the kitchen which was smelling each moment more like smoke and burnt eggs. I turned my attention away from his face and searched for the gathering of smoke near the ceiling. Moments later, as if on queue the fire alarm went off. I raised my hands to cover my ears; cringing. The ghoul flinched, squinting up at the device high on the wall. Letting out a soft, unheard sigh I gently took the plate from his hands and went to the kitchen. The stove - as I thought - had been left on with the empty pan still laying over the hot section. Smoke was pouring off of it and collecting at the ceiling. 

Trust a ghoul to be a terrible cook when left unsupervised. He did try though. With a riley grin working its way onto my face I turned the knob to shut off the stove and moved the pan away to a cooler spot. The fire alarm turned off from the other room and when I peeked out of the kitchen I saw that Uta had the device in his hands and was removing the batteries from the back.

"If you plan on cooking again don't forget to put that back where it was. Or you'll burn down your shop and apartment." I really would have liked to actually eat the food he’d spent time trying to make me. However, as I gazed over the ‘food’ again I knew the only thing I could possibly eat was the toast. I picked up a slice and took a bite. Dry - since he hadn’t added any butter or jelly and now kind of cold since he’d made the toast before the eggs. But I wasn’t going to break his heart with two pieces of bad news. It wasn’t like it was inedible. I eyed the eggs and considered how I might tell him. 

Honesty was the best policy. "I hate to tell you that the eggs are---well. Unsalvageable…" Carefully I set the disaster ‘food’ aside and went to his side where the ghoul was lounged out on the couch. The smoke detector was placed aside, unpowered until later when the air cleared up. “But the thought was very sweet.” I bent and placed a kiss on the side of his cheek. “Thank you.~”

“Hummm.” The ghoul hummed softly, a small smile forming on his lips despite his recent failure. “Next time I’ll come help you. But~ Don’t leave the stove on after you're done. Or you really will burn the place down.” I added seriously. 

“Renji-kun called this morning. After work tomorrow he’s planning on starting your training up again.” I didn’t miss the way his eyes went to places on my body where bruises had darkened my skin from the first time. Nor the little frown that went with the glance. “I completely forgot I had to go back to work! It was nice having the New Years off!” Especially since I had spent the time entirely with Uta.

“And I’ll be careful. As careful as I can.” I murmured. “Promise. It’s just training...he’s not trying to actually hurt me. I think he’s planning on making me run and do push ups.” I pulled a ‘blech’ face before resuming to grin broadly. Training with Renji the first time had been hard, had hurt a bit and had worried Uta. But - I liked it. “Maybe when it warms up I’ll have to drag you out before the sun is up for a run!~ To keep me safe of course. It’s not like you’d need it.” 

He tilt his head and blinked at my statement, glancing down at himself. I followed his gaze briefly. “I don’t know. Always room for improvement.”  
“Not much.” I said doubtfully, a small blush flushing across my cheeks. He may be lounged out, more liquid than ghoul when he relaxed, but I’ve seen him without a shirt. He did not need to go for runs. “Anyway! I won’t be getting hit at the next training, I don’t think...”

“Hum. I’ll come with you.”

“Uta! You’ve got to go back to work too. I’ll be fine.” I held up my hands, insisting. Bjorn bumped his head into my side and stared up at me expectantly. Food and a walk would be in order soon for him. “Uta. I’m serious.” Pursing my lips I searched Uta’s face for some recognition even as I leaned down to rub Bjron’s big head. He really couldn’t be skipping out on his shop to make sure I was okay. “It’s Renji...you really think Renji would hurt me?”

The ghoul averted his eyes, glancing away for a moment of thought before he shook his head. Really, it wasn’t something that was in much question or needed a long discussion. Although I’d known them all for so little time I trusted the ghouls around me. Renji or Mr. Yoshimura were only second to Uta. 

“So I might come home with some bumps and bruises now and then. But it’s so that I can continue to come home safe. Right?” Morbid, but it got him to look back at me. “I might not heal as fast as you but I can heal fast enough to deal with some little bruises! I’m not fragile!”

“You are.” The ghoul murmured, but he was giving me such a fond expression as he stared up at me. A human living with him, dating him and now telling him ‘I’m not fragile’. I know the situation; the absurdity of it. Of course he would find it funny. Maybe cute. Like a kitten trying to be threatening. “Yeah, yeah. I know. Compared to you I might be. What I mean is; A little hard work isn’t going to kill me. And we both know Renji will keep me from getting too hurt in training. Even if he does push me to get better.”

I started to walk back to the bedroom where I could change clothing and bring Bjorn out for a walk. It’s probably a good thing Uta hadn’t wanted to train me himself. He might have been too soft on me.

♥

“Faster. And keep your breathing even.” 

I tried not to let my breath come out in gasps as I pushed myself to keep running despite the absolute hellfire burning in my muscles. ‘Just run like your life depends on it, run like someone else's life depends on it.’ Renji ran with me although he was not showing any bit of exhaustion. It was downright unfair! Was it because he was a ghoul, or because I was just out of shape!?

I stopped, bent in half clutching my side. A stitch almost bad enough to bring me to my knees snarled itself into my side as I went back to gasping. The ghoul stopped and came back to my side, bending down to make sure I was okay. “Can you keep going, or do we need to stop for the day?” 

“W---hat...time….is….it?” I gasped, sucking in breath though my dry, sore throat.  
“5:30. We’ve been running for a little over an hour.” I winched. That wasn’t a very long time especially when I’d felt winded in even the first couple minutes, I had barely any stamina and had kept going on pure willpower. At first he’d had me try pushups, crunches and some pull ups. Basic exercises. But afterwards he’d had us break off into a long run up and down a long section of tunnel.

“Okay...I can keep….going. Just give me a minute to catch my breath.” I couldn’t just give up!!! I stood up, trying to even out my breath as I rubbed my side with my hands. It was the best I could do to attempt to soothe the bramble like stabbing in my side. Renji stood at my side, looking down at me with thinly veiled caution. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” I finally was able to say something without wheezing it through harsh breaths. I grinned, laughing silently to myself. Renji could go from telling me to run faster to hovering to make sure I was okay within moments. But he’d always go back to pushing me if I said I was good.

“I’m okay Renji. Promise!” I clenched my teeth, gritting them together as I pushed forward, from a walk to a slow jog and then back into the breakneck pace we’d been at before. If it hurt now it would get better later! ‘Feel the burn’ and all that! Although if I was honest I’d probably have rathered earning myself bruises over the lactic acid burn of extended exercise!

♥

I was drained by the end of ‘training’. Renji finally stopped me when the clock hit six fifteen pm. Outside, above the 24th ward the daylight was draining away and I was faltering in some of my steps. Although I was still trying to push myself into a run up until he stopped me. The moment my legs had started to give up keeping my body upright the white haired ghoul reached out, and half-caught me Holding me up by my shoulders he finally seemed unconvinced by any argument that I was fine.“That’s enough Aika…” 

I barely kept on my feet, panting like a dog and sticky with sweat. I couldn't tell if I was shaking from exhaustion or shivering because I was cold but the result was the same. “Uta’s going to kill me…” Renji muttered, sighing softly as he leaned down in front of me. The next moment I was picked up, held securely over the shoulder of Uta’s friend. I didn't have the energy to complain.

He collected my things, and climbed up the ladder to the rest of the world with me dangling off his shoulder. When the fresh air hit me my shivering got worse, shuddering with teeth clattering together until Renji gently sat me in the passenger side of his car. “Hold on. It’ll warm up in a minute…”

He got into the drivers side, cranked the heat and leaned back to the back seat and grabbed his coat. “Here. Put this over yourself for now.” I nodded weakly, tugging the fabric over myself. I was still shaky as the car took a few minutes to warm up and I came to the conclusion that it was more to do with being completely spent than cold.

Needless to say, Renji walked me to Uta’s door and helped me inside. Uta as usual was seated at his desk but he was up in a flash when he saw us enter the front door. Bjorn stood and bounded over as well, sniffing and checking out my trainer while Uta checked over my condition. I was too tired to argue when Uta leaned down to support me and shot deadly stares at his friend. “What happened?”

“We went for a run.” I let out a soft sigh as I leaned my body into him, relishing the warmth of the arms that were keeping me from falling over. “Don’t you glare at him like that Uta...I’m okay. I just need a bath and something to eat. It’s completely my fault I overdid it.” I was unsure if my words had a significant effect or not, but I was being guided towards the stairs.

“We should get her home Uta…” Renji noted from the doorway, watching as the goth guided me up to his own dwelling. Uta stopped and turned, glancing back down at his friend. To me he spoke softly; a curious note in his soft spoken voice. “You haven't told anybody?”

“It hadn’t come up.” I answered, smiling softly. “Since Renji brought me straight back here anyway.” Truthfully, the fact that I’d be moving in with Uta hadn’t come up at all during the work day. I’d been happy to listen to the others talk about their New Years and give Touka her little gift. Although I had told them that Uta went to the shrine with me--I’d been unsure about bringing up my new living arrangements. I’d often found myself touching the key to Uta’s studio that hung shiny and new on my keyring. Turning my head around, blushing faintly as I tried to explain to the silver haired ghoul. “I...well this is...I mean... Uta---well…”

“This is her home. She’s staying with me.” Uta finished for me as was unable to find the words easily; getting flustered each second that passed.

Renji’s face reflected surprise at the news, glancing from his friend to me. “Oh. That’s…” He didn’t seem to have a prepared response so he turned his attention to a nearby mask as a distraction. “Alright then. Aika. Get something to eat and rest up. You shouldn’t push yourself so hard...Uta. I’ll talk to you later.”

“I will...thanks Renji-kun!~” He waved over his shoulder as he left.

“He’s right…” Uta muttered as he helped my shaking body up the stairway. “You pushed yourself too far.”

“I know. I know….” I sighed, murmuring back at the ghoul. “My fault.” My stomach snarled it’s displeasure. Empty stomach. “You need something to eat.”

“I need a shower first. I feel kinda gross.” I made a face, after running and sweating so much I probably stank. Food could probably wait until after. At least in my opinion.  
“No.” The word was an unfamiliar firm command coming from Uta. “You’ll eat first.” Guided towards the kitchen I didn’t protest much. “It could wait---”

“What do you want to eat?” Uta made sure I was leaning on the counter before he went to a cupboard. Completely ignoring my protests. I peeked up into the cupboard; spotting things that I hadn’t bought. He must have picked up a few things while I’d been out at work. Peanut butter and Jelly. A pretty standard thing to have, along with fresh loaf of bread. Those were things he’d seen me eat before. Other than that the items seemed random and disjointed. Flour, pudding, canned fruit. Nothing that went together very well.

“The peaches for now. After I eat that I’ll go take a shower.” I held up a finger before he could speak up. “I’ll make something more after I’m all cleaned up. I just need a bit of sugar. If I eat too much at once I’ll probably just get sick on it. Okay? Relax. I’m alright.”

He hesitated but nodded his head, reaching up to grab the can off the shelf. As he popped the top and poured the contents into a bowl I smiled. “Uta, did you know I liked peaches or was it just random?”

“Random. Fruit is healthy right?” He glanced up, confused as I started to laugh. “Isn’t it?”

“Well. You’re half right. Fresh fruit is.” I reached, taking the bowl for myself and scooping some of the preserved fruit into my mouth. Sugary and sweet I enjoyed the ‘meal’. I swallowed my mouthful before I spoke up again. “When it’s canned like this it’s a bit less healthy. It’s preserved and they add sugar and syrup---”

“---But it sure is delicious!~” I popped another syrupy slice into my mouth, relishing the sugary taste. This was just what I needed! Already my hands were shaking a little bit less as my blood sugar rose. My body gathered what it needed quickly.

“What did you and Renji do today?” Uta leaned against another counter, watching as I shoveled food into my mouth. “Humm---” I hummed through a mouthful of food, swallowing it down hastily to answer. “We ran for a really long time...but before that it was just stretching and basic exercise. Crunches and pushups. So I had been right about not getting hit.” I shrugged my shoulders and tipped the bowl up to my face to drink down the syrup.

My legs still felt like jello as adrenaline was long gone but I managed to get to the sink and rinse out the dish. Setting it aside to wash later. “Lemmi' get a shower. I promise I’ll eat something else when I get out. Okay?”

“Alright.” His red kakugan followed me as I walked from the room. “Let me cover your tattoo with plastic before you get in. You don’t want to get it wet from the shower for a little while longer. I’ll rewrap it after you get out.”

When my arm was wrapped up I shut myself into the bathroom to rinse and suds myself clean of sweat and grim, relishing the feeling of burning hot water rushing over skin. I could have fallen asleep under the rush of warmth but managed to stay awake until I got out. The cold air hit me, making me shiver as I dried myself off and dressed in some baggy sleeping clothes. Outside the door of the Bathroom Bjorn stood waiting for me, staring up at me with wide brown eyes. In his fur there were little flakes of freshly fallen snow. “I took him out while you were in the shower.” Uta spoke up from the kitchen.

Bjorn bumped into my side as I sauntered through the living room and to the kitchen; towards the ghoul who was crouched down to the fridges level. He held up a bag of meat up. Looking over it I spotted the “B” or Bjorn’s food. Uta stood up, taking it with him and started to unpack it into the dog's silver bowl. 

“Feel any better?”

“My legs are still a little wobbly.” I admitted, grinning as I watched the ghoul scoot the metallic bowl over the floor towards Bjron who jumped onto the bowl of meat greedily chowing down. “I’ll probably be sore tomorrow since I’m not used to this much exercise. I’ll get used to it though.” Adapting and getting stronger was the entire point. I flexed an arm comically, grinning wide in an attempt to make the ghoul feel better. “I can handle it. Renji kept asking me if I was alright to keep going. So it really is my own fault if I’m tired out.”

“Thanks for bringing Bjorn out.” I smiled down at the pup as he finished his food; looking up at us with a messy face. I’d have been much too tired to bring him out on a long walk, so Uta saved me there. Plus it was good to see my dog had given up his aggression towards Uta completely. “Come here bud!~” I cooed gently, grabbing paper towels to clean up his face.

The rest of the night could be spent in relaxation as I fought off sleep, Uta changed the bandage around my arm and I brushed out Bjorn’s fur making a little fuzz pile as I went.

♥

I’d grown used to waking up suddenly from the scream of an alarm so it was odd to wake up to a man speaking gently, nudging me to wakefulness. “Five more minutes…” I tried to murmur, rolling over.

“Good Morning Ai-chan! If you don’t mind being late for work then that’s fine.”

I cursed, sitting up in bed quickly and letting the covers fall away. “My alarm!?” My head spun in Uta’s direction while my hand reached for my phone sitting on the stand next to bed. In Uta’s hand was a steaming mug of coffee and his hair lay framing his face since he hadn’t put it up into its usual ponytail yet.

“I turned it off. I thought this would be nicer.” Uta replied. Leaning in close he pressed a quick peck of a kiss onto my cheek. I relaxed, sighing and leaning in towards him. “I’d be happy to let you stay in bed all day, but there’s a coffee on the counter for you and you’ve got about thirty minutes before the subway leaves the station.”  
“A pity…” I leaned closer, returning the cheek kiss. “But I really do need to go. I like my job. Thanks Uta-kun.” It really was a much nicer way to wake up. This way I didn’t wake up wanting to swat something onto the floor.

Uta left the room and let me get around for work, by the time I was sliding on my shoes Uta had his hair tied up and he was getting ready to flip the sign on his own shop to open up. He popped an eyeball into his mouth and chewed on it as he waved a farewell. Before I left I leaned down and pressed my lips to his cheek again quickly. “I’ll be back later! Have a good day!”

“You too…” He breathed out so softly I could barely hear him as I rushed out the door to catch the subway.

I greeted my co-workers happily, humming gently as I went about the opening procedures with Touka. While I’d been right about my body being sore I found that I didn’t mind it too much apart from the occasional cringe as a muscle tried to cramp up. “You seem to be in a particularly good mood this morning Aika!” Koma noted, smiling as he polished some of the glasses until they shone. I nodded, agreeing with him completely while I continued the hum as I worked. 

“I am!~” Koma chuckled softly as I continued to almost dance to my own humming as I swept up the floor in the front of the cafe. Touka watched me carefully, offering me a small smile when I beamed at her.

“So...how’s Uta doing?” Touka inquired. The question was framed innocently enough but it had a note of caution. “Good?” I said; it came out sounding more like a question than I meant it too.

Her face to my surprise went a little pink, a blush sat high on her cheekbones and she turned away quickly to hide it. “Sorry I just was curious…”

I took a few minutes, mulling over it before I spoke up again. “Curious about what, exactly?”  
The young woman turned her head back around and seemed caught up in some internal mess. “Just wondering how you're both doing…I haven't seen much of him lately. ”

“It’s been busy.” I said softly, looking around the cafe. Very busy. Both in terms of actual business for Uta’s masks and also in terms of the violence I was slowly getting used to. Kaneki went off to fight his own battles and left behind his new friends. I wondered if that small mousey boy even knew how much leaving had hurt Touka? “Did Uta visit the cafe more often before?”

To my surprise she shook her head, looking back at her work again. “He used to only come in every couple weeks. Since you came around it’s been more often now actually.”

“Have you heard anything from Kaneki?” I asked, watching her carefully. Her expression tightened up before turning away from me where I couldn’t see her face. “No.”

“That jerk. You’d think he could at least send a text or something. It’s not like he doesn't have a phone.” I muttered. Touka turned, giving me a shocked look before she broke into a small laugh. “You’re right!”

“Hey Aika! We got our first customer waiting! Black coffee at table three!” Koma called, waving a hand to get my attention.  
“I’ll be right there!” I turned and skipped across the building to take the order and bring it to the customer with a brilliant grin on my face. 

Hours passed and I continued my cheery service to each customer. Those who had been scared off by the recent CCG activity had settled back down and started to come back after the New Year. I greeted them on familiar terms and with the same old friendly smile. 

A few of them didn’t quite control their facial expression very well when I came near. For a moment they looked confused- no doubt because of Uta’s scent. I ignored the reactions and simply went on with my work.

“Uta-san! Hey! How are you!” I heard Touka happily greet Uta at the door. I turned my attention away from the customer in front of me for a split second and smiled fondly in his direction before looking back down at the ghoul woman who was about my age. “Sorry. What was that?”

She smiled and repeated her order of a black coffee. “Oh of course! Silly me!” She giggled as I waved to Mr. Yoshimura, signaling the ‘usual’ for my current table before I made my way over to Touka and Uta speaking by the door. His attention turned to me as I approached.

“Ai-chan. Hey.” The ghoul glanced over my shoulder at the customers and back down at me. “I’m not interrupting, am I?”

“You? Never. No. I just finished getting the order for the last lady that came. Black coffee for you?”

“Are you going to make it?” I smiled a little sadly and shook my head. “Sorry, I’ve still got to serve the other customers. The boss will make you it today. Alright?” I leaned up and pressed a kiss into his cheek. If anybody had any question why I smelled like a ghoul---  
Well that would have answered it.

I turned and made my way back to the counter, smiling as I picked up a couple coffees to be distributed to the customers at their tables. “Hey Mr. Yoshimura, can you make a cup for Uta?”  
“Of course.”

I walked back to a few tables I’d taken orders for and slid their drinks in front of them with my same cheery grin. I stopped being surprised about the curious looks I got a while ago, but I was surprised to see a new more relaxed look that came over a few of them.

The last one cup I had to give out was to a slightly older woman, mid to late 40’s. She hadn’t ever said a single word to me before, always simply pointed at the menu for a large black coffee. She was someone who had been scared away during the holiday events and had only just now returned. Even with the holidays a few days passed she wore a cute little knitted sweater for the season. She looked up and met my eyes when I handed her coffee across the table. In a quiet, raspy voice she spoke up. “T-Thank you.”

Shocked, I stumbled over my own words. “A-ah well. Y-you’re welcome!”

The woman smiled more brightly, then glanced towards Uta who had taken a spot at the bar, leaning forward as he sniffed the air and coffee scent. “He’s your boyfriend?”

“Uh--w-wel yes. He is.” I flushed pink, flustered by the woman’s sudden interest in talking to me. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to embarrass you.” She chuckled, picking up her coffee and calmly sipped it as I retreated from the table.   
It shouldn’t embarrass me so much, after all I’d given him that kiss in full view of the public. Ghoul and human alike could have seen the exchange.

“Ms. Aika. Is something bothering you?” Yoshimura smiled across the bar top at me as he worked on Uta’s cup of coffee. I shook my head, calming down a little before breathing out a soft sigh. “No. Just got a little flustered”

“Yo.”  
I jumped a little when the familiar voice of Nishiki popped up beside me, dropping a bag of heavy textbooks into the seat next to me. “Nishiki! You scared me! Is it that time already?” I pulled my phone out and looked at the time. Two thirty. He was pretty early.

“Eh? Ah. Sorry-sorry.” He apologized without really meaning it, brushing off my fright and barely glancing at me. “Hey, old man. Could you make me a cup as well?”

“Make it yourself, you bum!” I laughed softly, enjoying Touka’s overly aggressive attitude towards the college student. He turned and responded in kind. 

“You’re early Nishiki! What happened? Did Kimi kick you out for something?”

The man turned to stare me down. If I’d only just met him I’d think he really was angry but now it came across as more of an indignant glare. It lacked the heat in it to be truly aggressive. “She’s...cleaning.” He finally admitted bitterly. “Figured I’d come by early and grab a cup before work.” I couldn’t help laughing; the sound bubbling up as giggles. “That figures. You don’t seem like you’d be any help when it comes to cleaning!”

“Hey! What the hell do you know about it!”

“Ms. Aika. This is for that young lady back there. Would you---”  
“Got it!” I took the cup and turned quickly, moving to serve the young woman her coffee.

♥

“I’ll see you back at home.” Uta stated, sliding his empty coffee cup across the counter with a few bills to pay. “Thank you again sir for the delicious coffee.” The elderly ghoul took the money and the dirty cup with a gracious smile and slight incline of his head. “You are always welcome.”

“Okay I’ll see you back at home! Two more hours!~” I smiled, flushing pink as the ghoul leaned down and pressed his lips into the side of my face. I caught the warm glowing look the older ghoul gave us both as Uta left the cafe.

“I see that things are going well.” The elderly man noted, the smile never leaving his face. He leaned forward and spoke quietly for my ears to catch. “You may wish to cover up your neck with a turtleneck in public though.” He leaned back and continued to wipe at the glass in his hands as my mind raced. My palms clasped around my neck where Uta was fond of biting. I thought it had faded enough that nobody would notice - but clearly it was still visible!

“No harm done dear!” The old man added. “Though, I’m sure that’s why the customers have been giving you funny looks most of the day.” Or why Touka had look flustered when I’d spoken to her earlier!!!

“Why didn’t anybody say anything---the whole day!” I hissed; aggressively embarrassed.  
“I wasn’t sure if perhaps you’d done it on purpose.” Yoshimura answered honestly. “If I understand correctly you moved in with him?”

“I...will be. I’ve still got this month's rent since I paid for it. But...yeah. That’s the plan!” I tugged on my work shirt, trying to pull it up a little to try to hide the marks on my neck. “He invited me to stay with him the other day during the holiday break. Along with starting the tattoo he drew for me.”

“Oh! It’s nothing that would show at work!” I pointed at my upper arm when the older man stopped working to give me a curious glance. It was in a place which was safely hidden under my uniform. I smiled nervously, tattoos in japan were still not widely accepted, especially in workplaces or in public bathhouses or pools. I had wanted a tattoo for a while as I told uta - but the stigma around them and finding a job might have been harder. “That’s not a problem is it?”

The elderly man’s eyes fell back on his work as he cleaned glasses as Touka collected them up and brought them back to him. “Not at all dear. Not at all.”

♥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh this has been a crazy week for Americans #voted!!!  
> I'll admit I couldn't really concentrate on anything but the elections (and the subsequent ongoing fallout) Many apologies for that.  
> I may go back through and do another once, twice, thrice over this again! Until then here you guys go! ♥


End file.
